divalee: 24 months off Zoloft

[divalee]

Dear Andy and AliG

Thank you so much for your reply...and yes I will look up those success stories.

 

Your beautiful words have giving me hope again.  It just seems so impossible that there is no let up....I am not a person who complains but boy this is sheer hell.....but I will keep on walking through it until I see that light of hope.  I will.  I am a very strong person -  but geez. 

 

Thank you so much -  I will try not to panic and write here, try to control myself....but you guys are the only ones I got......

 

Love you much

Lee

[AliG]

Lee.   Write , when you want or need to write.  There is no limit.  We are all here to support each other through this. It can be excruciating at times, but we will get there. Stay strong, and do not give up .

Hugs,

Ali

[divalee]

Love you AliG      this means so much.....Thank you.  I hope you are doing well.....I pray for everyone who is suffering so much.  No one should be allowed to suffer this much.....no one.

 

So I wont walk alone......I have all of you.....Thank you.

Love

Lee

Walk on with hope in my heart and ill never walk alone...

 

xxx

[divalee]

I am now off Zoloft 33 months...no change...maybe ever so slight feeling better for perhaps a day then nothing.....just seem to be getting worse....No one here is talking about long term WDs as long as mine....I am very frightened:  Symptoms are still - head pressure, light headedness, pressure bridge of nose, pins and needles my face, head...visual disturbances, headaches ,night sweats, (and now severe depression) crying especially waking up in the morning...I feel hopeless - 

 

I truly don't like to complain, but when does this end...day after day, month after month....but I still do everything -  I don't let this stop me.  Go out to do groceries...but cannot visit anyone, I have isolated myself...I talk on the phone at least to just three people, I wont answer the phone otherwise.

 

I use to entertain, I am a musician, a writer and a very deep thinker....artistic...I no longer live in the illusion of life - but in the reality of life. 

 

Has anyone else been this long off these drugs - and still struggling.....Thank you

Love

Lee

[Skylarblue75]

Hi diva, you are not alone in any of this, I have every single symptom, severe insomnia and more. I ct'd off of a 10 year use of celexa back in 2011, haven't been right since but went on a merry go round of many different meds between August of 2012 up until May of 2014. I'm only 21 months of my last a/d lexapro and feel I'm getting worse as well and losing all hope. I don't come on here much any more because it's like ground hog day every single day.

I wish I could say more and help you but know your not alone. I wish you well

[divalee]

Hi Skylar   I remember you....

 

you mean you have every single symptom...I don't wish that on anyone....but at least I know I am not alone   I never took anything but Zoloft....and went off it  completely on May 17, 2013....I was doing fine...had a few side effects..going off it which took me a year and a half....but apparently still too soon.  Unfortunately Zoloft only comes in capsule form here..25, 50 and 100 mgs....so I had to taper 25 mgs at a time albeit I stayed on each dosage for about 4 months.....

 

I hope you are feeling better....please let me know how you are doing.

 

Thank you so much for answering me....I hate complaining and no one knows here at home how much I suffer - I never talk about it to my friends because they just don't understand....not that I speak with anyone much any more....I have isolated myself...and speak to few.

 

Thank you again Skylar    -   

 

Love

Lee

 

if happy little bluebirds fly

beyond the rainbow

so can .......you......and......I.......and everyone else here  we can do it....

[AliG]

Lee.    In my mind , you have to throw away the calendar .  No expectations. I have given this over , now and surrendered to this . It helps , some how. Patience and acceptance , is key . no time frame. It is what it is !!

Love , Ali

[divalee]

I am sorry but I cannot find my posts.....I posted about a week ago or so but I seem to have disappeared.  Can someone help me....I know we have to continue where we left off but I am no where to be found.

 

Thank you

xxxx

[Ali4]

Are you divalee 24 months off zoloft? If so I cam see all your posts under intro and updates.

[AliG]

Lee. This is your Introduction thread.

[divalee]

Oh geez AliG I just wrote here I could not find my posts anywhere and it popped up now.

 

Yes, you are right.  That is what I should do.  I try so hard but I feel so physically sick and lightheaded...with pains in my head that I know must be migraines and other types of headaches....

 

I am afraid to take my Anacin even though I am 33 months off Zoloft because I am afraid it will interfere with my healing process....But today I had no choice....I cant take anything with acetaminophen, (Tylenol) because it doesn't work with my headahces.....only ASA does which is in aspirin..

 

I will try very hard to take your advice.  I answered your post today too...because I find it hard to participate because I feel so awful most of the time....but made an effort because no matter how you feel..you help people a lot  including me.  Thank you for that

xxxxx

[AliG]

Lee.   There you are !        You go , girl !!

[divalee]

I found it AliG  thank you......it is because you answered me and it showed up only after I posted that my posts had disappeared.

 

Thank you as always     you are such an inspiration.....

 

xxxxx

[divalee]

AliG  do you feel it is okay for me to take my Anacin and that it wont interefere with my healing process....I never take it much very rarely  say maybe I can do a couple of months without taking it and suffer the headaches.....

 

xxxx

[AliG]

Lee.   What do you take it for ?  Aspirin & caffeine .  Is it for the headaches ?  I don't think it matters too much  , if you take it rarely. 

I used to paint & dance , too . A lot of that has gone now . I'm hoping to get it back . I haven't given up completely .  One day , It will come back .

I'm 21 months off.  A bit behind you , but following the same path .  I wish I had known.  So much regret .  Finding this path very hard . I'm growing in " leaps & bounds" though !

Love,

Ali

[Altostrata]

divalee, please bookmark or click on the big gray Follow This Topic button at the top right so you can find this topic again.

[divalee]

AliG   I take it for migraines and headaches but take it very rarely.....but I am 33 months off.....surely it will not affect the healing process  but because I suffer so much I am afraid to take anything.

 

You said you suffer much the same WDs as I do....I am sorry.....I wish you don't have to wait as long as I have.  It is very frightening....

 

Thank you so much

xxxx

[andy013]

Hi divalee, sorry you are still suffering. While you were on the drugs did you ever have any negative symptoms? Have you ever thought about reinstating? I hope this doesn't come across wrong. I'm not trying to discourage you. I just wanted to know your thoughts on it.

[divalee]

Hi Andy

While on Zoloft I functioned okay....Just never cried, felt no emotions, ....Reinstating after 33 months off I was told would just make it worse for me...

 

Thank you for asking and responding to me

 

xxxx

[Irvingkirsch]

Hi diva, you are not alone in any of this, I have every single symptom, severe insomnia and more. I ct'd off of a 10 year use of celexa back in 2011, haven't been right since but went on a merry go round of many different meds between August of 2012 up until May of 2014. I'm only 21 months of my last a/d lexapro and feel I'm getting worse as well and losing all hope. I don't come on here much any more because it's like ground hog day every single day.

I wish I could say more and help you but know your not alone. I wish you well

 

 

 

HI your experience sounds really similar to mine. How long was your insomnia an issue for? Did you ever get better?

[divalee]

Aww bless you Irving.....I am sorry you have all the wDs I have, but it is so helpful to know that I am not alone....it is day after day after day with no let up....and sometimes I feel that this is it for me....

 

I too will come here maybe once a month..I try not too because it is the same old story...and what is the use.....but it is good to know one has somewhere to go...

 

The distorted vision and everything looking so strange, the lightheadedness and even the way I walk is strange...But I do everything I have to do - no matter what, for instance

 

I procrastinated going for blood work for months - but on March 3rd I have an appointment with my endocrinologist and he needs to have that blood work....So I went today- feeling so so bad -  in the snow and rain which flooded the streets...but I did it.  Every time I accomplish something I feel at least I am not doomed.  33 months off and it seems worse not better.

 

Thank you so much Irving for taking the time to write here to me......I hope you are doing better....You are in my thoughts and prayers....and all who are suffering these terrible WDs through no fault of our own.

 

Everyone knows an ant can<t move a rubber tree plant

But he<s got high apple pie in the sky hopes

Whoops there goes another rubber tree plant   

 

Love

Lee (f)

[divalee]

Hello - Its me

 

I am sorry to post again but maaan I am experiencing unbelievable tiredness. I cannot even describe it. All other symptoms I mentioned here so many times have not subsided. You know when we don't feel wewell I guess we try do many things to make us feel better...

 

I eat exceptionally well - I cook my own meals and never order out. So now I am trying gluten free thinking this might help. Three days ago I started to drink 100% organic pineapple juice. It is suppose to be excellent for your health, sinuses, immune system, blood pressure, so many things. Now as of today I am trying gluten free. It is fairly easy for me because I don't eat pastry or any of that sort...what I eat a lot of...is bread and pasta....so now no bread and only rice or quinoa pasta as of today.

 

I don't think this is what is making me so tired because I began feeling this tired about two weeks ago.....what is wrong....when will all this end....I am 33 months off Zoloft...and I never ever took any other medication at all.

 

Does anyone else feel these unbelievable tiredness that you think you just cannot go on any more. Visual distortion and blurriness too....

 

I know I post too much about all this - but where else can I go....xxxxx

 

Lee (f)

giving up hope

[direstraits]

Hi,Divalee

 

I get the horrible fatigue ,too...it's so debilitating...it took all my strength to hang laundry today.

 

I get the blurry eyes ,too....I just don't understand how this can go on for so long...it's unbelievable and wears you down.

 

hope we see relief soon...xo

[divalee]

Thank you for answering me.....I hope we do too direstraits....it is so difficult. Please let me know how you are doing ....it is good to know I am not alone although I don't wish this on anyone

 

Love

Lee (f)

[Mort81]

Just reading a bit of your thread. I have to believe you are really close to getting a break . Alot of people around your time seem to all of a sudden get way better. You have to know even people on Multiple meds for 20 yrs get way better . Look up GIak if you havent ..    I think your close ! almost 3 yrs .. This will be your year !

[divalee]

Oh maaan Mort I just loved what you said....you really think so....I don't know what it feels like to be well.....Thank you for the hope...]

 

How are you doing....xx

 

I will check Glak that you so much

Lee (f)

[divalee]

Mort who or what is Glak...I thought he or she a member....how do I read Glak

 

thank you xxxx

[direstraits]

I think he means GiaK?

[divalee]

Thank you Direstraits I found it...awesome reading

 

Thank you Mort for this....gives one hope and I have not had nearly the suffering she had....

 

Thank you

Lee (f)

[divalee]

hello again

I have just been to my doctor and have severe deficiency in vitamin D and now my blood pressure is high....I never had any of this. This all started when I stopped taking the Zoloft...So now he wants me to take blood pressure pills and I am so afraid to take it....plus 1000 mgs of Vitamin D a day....I also have hypothyroidism which is under control....

 

Maybe if I take the vitamin D some of my WDs symptoms will go away. I am 33 months off Zoloft..

 

Any one have these problems....any suggestions. I am very healthy otherwise..my blood tests all came back normal save for the Vitamin D ....

 

Thank you

Lee (f)

[AliG]

Lee.     Look into a plant based diet. It has been shown to bring down blood pressure/ cholesterol  and reverse heart disease, without pills.  Check out  Dr's  John  McDougall, Caldwell Esselstyn and T. Colin Campbell . Also Dr Michael Greger.   Do some research .   Vitamin D - just supplement or get some sun .    

Hugs, Ali 

[divalee]

AliG

Thank you for answering me. I eat extremely well - lots of vegetables, turkey, chicken and salmon, In research I found that low vitamin D causes high blood pressure - I neglected to say that I cannot go in the sun - it makes me sick....only if it is cool 70F and a bit and sunny it wont bother me but higher than that I cannot take the sun...ll.5 nmol/l is extreme deficiency.

 

I never eat out....I cook for myself - and eat an extremely healthy diet...I am only 110 pounds due to WDs from Zoloft...I am truly at a loss...

 

Thank you for always being here for me AliG.....you are a precious gem who had guided me through my darkest hours

Love

Lee (f)

[divalee]

Hello everyone , here I am again. in 4 days I will be off Zoloft for 34 months. No relief, distorted vision, and seems to be worse, head pressure, pins and needles head face, lips, pressure bridge of nose, depression, crying non stop, wake up with high anxiety, night sweats pressure ears...really really frightened.

 

Now I have fought to take high blood pressure pills - I never had high blood pressure before I stopped taking the Zoloft, nor did I have hypothyroidism....now I have both I take synthroid for the hypothyroidism but I am so afraid to take blood pressure pills - I have a phobia about taking any pills at all....now found out also that my vitamin D is so low - it is difficient. 11.5 nmol/l Canadian testing.

 

I am taking blood pressure pills now for 5 days and I am so frightened that now I think my WDs are worse....I am relating the blood pressure pills to the way I am feeling....

 

I am at the verge of giving up - I had these WDs for a very long time with no windows..but they seem to be worse now - how can that be when I am 34 months off....

 

I don't think I will ever get better. I still, no matter what do what I have to do no matter how difficult...but please - someone say it will get better...

 

I am so sorry to come here and cry - I am not looking for pity = I am looking for some encouragement...

 

It seems I have to take the blood pressure pills cause my pressure can go up to 200/90. Doctor said it is better to take them rather than to have a stroke - I am 44 years old...

 

I am sorry again to complain....just need some reassurance please

 

Love

Lee (f)

( I have lost two people in my life that I have loved very much, If only I could feel better so that I can cope with these two tremendous loses better.....xxxxxx

[trouper]

hi divalee,

i am sorry you are having such a rough time. my story is similar to yours. i was on a low dose of zoloft (mostly 37.5mg) for 17 years, but i had a short taper. i have had pretty severe protracted WD that came on slowly. it took about a year for it to hit its worst where it stayed severe for over a year, and then it has slowly been getting better over the last year. i will be 36 months off next month. i believe my wd got worse due to stress. i believe the stress in your life may have caused your latest bad wave. i will tell you that even when i was combating the extreme stresses in my life, and at times doing a very poor job at it, i was still healing. it slows healing down, but i still made progress through it. i too have a lot of the symptoms you have, including that very uncomfortable pain in the nose, but mine also goes to my cheeks and to the tops of my teeth.  you have made it this far and you will get through this. you need to try to not stress. i would take restorative yoga classes, go for walks and meditate on those rough days. i play games on my phone to distract myself and to help time pass. a cup of tulsi tea would help me on those crawling out of my skin mornings, as it helps combat the anxiety. magnesium helps as well as it helps calm the nervous system.

 

i'm not familiar with blood pressure medicine but I'm sure there are threads on the subject here. i had to deal with a lot of health issues one after another over a year ago at my worst and while in WD, my emotions were distorted so i catastrophized and it just made things worse. it is really really hard not to in WD but you have to try to tell yourself that the worse case outcome is a small chance, and there are larger chances of things being okay. i thought that every health issue i encountered was a death sentence and stressed a lot, only to find out things were benign.

 

i too am very low in vitamin D but even most normal people are. i take a supplement when i remember, and i drink whole milk with vitamin D. your blood pressure may be from the stress you are going through as well.. a death in the family is never easy, and you are dealing with WD on top of that. do you take omega 3s? that may help with blood pressure as well as going on a half hour walk every day.

 

i hope knowing that you are not alone helps... i hope you start to feel better soon.

[AmyK]

Divalee, I am so sorry you are suffering so much. It's so unfair. Dont give up, you will surely feel better. I can understand it's exhausting and horrible to wait for a change. But I believe it WILL happen. Are there other ways to try to low blood pressure? Food, some light exercise, meditation? Can you get in contact with any of the experts this site recognize? The mods might know. Healey? Shipko? Is there a Canadian expert on ssri?

The loss of loved ones in all this must be extremely stressful too. My deepest sympathy.

We are here for you.

All the best, Amy

[divalee]

AmyK

 

No one eats as well as I do.....my blood tests are perfect. I am into Creative mindfulness...I do everything I should everything.....yet the Withdrawals are so bad that is why my anxiety level is so high.....

 

Nothing wrong to indicate any problems with my blood tests...they are perfect....

 

The withdrawals are so bad - and there is nothing but anyone can do but wait it out.....which I am doing....

 

Thank you so much for answering me.... I just need some encouragement..or someone that can tell me they are going through the same thing and for as long as I have been going through it....just some encouragement once in a while.....xxxxxx

 

Lovev

Lee (f)