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buggedout: hi, early stages of my Effexor XR taper


buggedout

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My BF also takes a condescending tone with me whenever I get upset over something. "Are you done throwing your fit yet?". If I had a dime for every time he's said that to me.

 

I don't appreciate being talked to like that. His language only provokes me and makes me feel worse. What I would rather have are hugs and him reassure me that everything is going to be OK. I don't know why he can't do that for me. He used to be very caring but now I can tell that he is just getting sick of me.

 

I ask him if he wants to be with me after all this and he says yes. I Say well then be nice to me. He said he is nice, and if he wanted me to be mean that he would throw me off the balcony!!

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Buggedout,

 

You could look at this about periods and w/d:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8142-pms-and-menstrual-cycle-problems-during-withdrawal/

 

PMS is hard at the best of times, but you really are getting the worst of it. 

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

2023 Now on 7 micro-beads of Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops.

 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi Buggedout,

 

You could look at this about periods and w/d:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8142-pms-and-menstrual-cycle-problems-during-withdrawal/

 

PMS is hard at the best of times, but you really are getting the worst of it. 

 

Thanks Karen.

 

Sorry for the emotional rant lol. Looking at what I wrote now, I really was lost! I am in a much better place now.

 

And my BF asked me to marry him yesterday lol.

 

Things are great with us. We made it through the holidays... even a road trip without any fighting. Also his best friend seems to have a better attitude towards me lately, and his girlfriend has asked me to stay with her when both of our men make a trip to Seattle in a couple weeks.

 

I think I made it about two weeks without my period, a record lol, it came again today. Was a reminder to come back here with an update.

 

I'm in pain but my mood seems to be fine. I started running and lifting weights again. The best part is that I sleep like a baby now. Haven't lost weight yet, but it's only been a week, and it's hard when weight training because the body holds so much more water when the muscles are stimulated.

 

Anyways, I am ready for another cut. I said I'd do it after the holiday. I'm afraid that my mood will go back to ****, so I think I'm going to enjoy being happy for another week or so.

 

And I'll post an update first thing when I do my next cut.

 

Cheers and hope everyone had a great holiday and new year. :)

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

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Hey there, glad to hear you're doing well considering everything! I don't think I could take having a period that often, ha - have you considered birth control pills? I can't remember if you were avoiding them or not. Congrats to you and your fiance (if you said yes, assuming you did ;))  I just did another cut yesterday. I think I'm going to keep up with my 5% cuts every 2 weeks until I get to exactly half, 37.5mg, and maybe I'll chill there for a month.

History: Began suffering from panic attacks when my father passed away in 2005. Been on and off SSRIs (Celexa, Lexapro, Effexor XR), and therapy since then.

2009 - Started Effexor XR 75mg. Consistent therapy starting Oct 2013

Feb 2014 - Therapist and I felt I was ready to come off Effexor - went to half dose (37.5mg) for a week and then off completely by advice of psychiatrist - bad w/d for a week then gone

May 2014 - bad protracted w/d came out of nowhere.. constant dizziness, agoraphobia(never had before), intense headaches, fatigue for 3 months, all tests (brain MRI, inner ear tests, blood tests, etc.) normal. could not drive, grocery shop, or live life.

Aug 2014 - back on Effexor XR 75mg as neurologist thought these symptoms were my anxiety coming back, all w/d symptoms disappear within 2 weeks. I should have went back on at a lower dose, but I hadn't discovered this site yet. I finally did discover this site, and gave myself a year to stabilize.

July 2015 - Started tapering from 75mg. 5% cuts every 3 weeks. From July 2015 - March 2016, reduced to 37.5mg (half dose). In March 2017, down to 18.3mg (quarter dose). April 2020 - down to 0.38mg.

 

Now: Finally med free as of Oct 31, 2020 after 5.5 years of tapering. Still med and withdrawal free, January 2023. ☀️

Supplements during tapering and now: Meditation, daily exercise, fish oil, clean diet, working from home (more sleep!)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I've heard that weight loss that happens slowly is more likely to last.  Sounds like you're in a good place and taking care of yourself.  Congrats on the engagement - how lovely :).  Get these good feelings really entrenched in your head so if you hit a wave, you can remind yourself that good times will come again soon. 

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

2023 Now on 7 micro-beads of Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops.

 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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Hey there, glad to hear you're doing well considering everything! I don't think I could take having a period that often, ha - have you considered birth control pills? I can't remember if you were avoiding them or not. Congrats to you and your fiance (if you said yes, assuming you did ;))  I just did another cut yesterday. I think I'm going to keep up with my 5% cuts every 2 weeks until I get to exactly half, 37.5mg, and maybe I'll chill there for a month.

 

Thanks, and congrats on your progress!

 

Of course I said yes! :)

 

I do take birth control, but it's the non-estrogen pill, meaning it doesn't regulate my cycle at all. I have to take this type of pill because the regular ones give me chronic migraines. :(

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

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I've heard that weight loss that happens slowly is more likely to last.  Sounds like you're in a good place and taking care of yourself.  Congrats on the engagement - how lovely :).  Get these good feelings really entrenched in your head so if you hit a wave, you can remind yourself that good times will come again soon. 

 

Thanks. It's been hard. But certainly not impossible. :)

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

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  • 3 weeks later...

Alright, so my mood has been stabilized for about a month now. It's been about a week since my last period ended... and it wasn't a bad one for me emotionally. I had some spotting on Thursday and Friday but seems to be normal now.

 

So I finally caved and did another reduction tonight!

 

I'm officially at 94.5mg. I expect this cut to go well. I haven't been taking my vitamins entirely regularly, but most of the time I remember, and since I've cut again, I'll be sure to take them every day from now on.

 

I've still been successful with cutting the drinking back. Still do a bit from time to time but not excessively.

 

Also been going to the gym at least a few days a week. Got a fitbit, and it's kept me motivated to stay active, go for walks and hikes almost every day.

 

I'll give you guys an update in a day or two to let you know how it goes for me. I think that because I've been active, I should be OK for the most part.

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

Link to comment

Well I had some difficulty getting to sleep (insomnia) but that's normal for me the first few days. Dreams were weird but they have been lately anyways.

 

Yesterday I slipped on some black ice and now my neck is bothering me more than anything, lol. Thankfully I didn't hit my head.

 

Not feeling very motivated to do anything, but I will probably go for a walk. It's early. Dinner in the crockpot, household chores were completed yesterday. I will certainly do some guilt-free relaxing. :)

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thanks for the updates Bugged,

Congrats on your engagement :)

 

It sounds like you are doing well in general, but I'm sorry you slipped on the ice. I had a fall a few months ago, it can be quite a shock.

 

I hope your latest cut goes well, I'm sure you will be fine, you're tapering nice and slowly.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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So glad to hear that things are going well! Sorry about slipping on the ice, that hurts so bad. Glad to hear that you're hiking and stuff too, something I wish I could do in MI right now but can't. It's so good to stay active, even when you do a cut. The endorphins and released energy really help a lot. I just took a nice bath with epsom salts and essential oils. It is nice to pamper yourself with some relax time too :)

History: Began suffering from panic attacks when my father passed away in 2005. Been on and off SSRIs (Celexa, Lexapro, Effexor XR), and therapy since then.

2009 - Started Effexor XR 75mg. Consistent therapy starting Oct 2013

Feb 2014 - Therapist and I felt I was ready to come off Effexor - went to half dose (37.5mg) for a week and then off completely by advice of psychiatrist - bad w/d for a week then gone

May 2014 - bad protracted w/d came out of nowhere.. constant dizziness, agoraphobia(never had before), intense headaches, fatigue for 3 months, all tests (brain MRI, inner ear tests, blood tests, etc.) normal. could not drive, grocery shop, or live life.

Aug 2014 - back on Effexor XR 75mg as neurologist thought these symptoms were my anxiety coming back, all w/d symptoms disappear within 2 weeks. I should have went back on at a lower dose, but I hadn't discovered this site yet. I finally did discover this site, and gave myself a year to stabilize.

July 2015 - Started tapering from 75mg. 5% cuts every 3 weeks. From July 2015 - March 2016, reduced to 37.5mg (half dose). In March 2017, down to 18.3mg (quarter dose). April 2020 - down to 0.38mg.

 

Now: Finally med free as of Oct 31, 2020 after 5.5 years of tapering. Still med and withdrawal free, January 2023. ☀️

Supplements during tapering and now: Meditation, daily exercise, fish oil, clean diet, working from home (more sleep!)

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hey guys!

 

Apparently I'm due for another cut. I thought it was this coming weekend, but it was last weekend. Well I will wait until this weekend anyways.

 

Overall I'm doing well. Been in the gym almost every day. I don't remember if I mentioned that I got a fitbit... but it's been helping to keep me on track with regular "challenges" against my family members. I've lost about 6lbs and have 35 more to reach my goal.

 

The best part is that I'm able to enjoy a glass of wine, or two, each night! And I am still making progress with my weight, and also with my entire mindset.

 

I find that it's lifting weights that actually helps with my mood, although I've been running too.

 

I had a regular period but the mood swings have now been with me for a couple weeks, long after it ended. I ran for an hour (on and off) on the treadmill yesterday but it did not help with my depression at all... my mood was still crap... but then I went over to the weights, and after about 20 minutes of basic lifting with dumbells, my entire mood and mindset did a 180.

 

I've been under a lot of stress lately, due to my situation, being a Canadian and technically overstaying my visa in the US. My fiance and I have to get married right away or else I could be in major trouble! Right now we're just waiting for his divorce document from his previous marriage to arrive in the mail, then we're going down to the courthouse.

 

Hoping to tie the knot on Feb 29th... we joke that we'll only have an anniversary every 4 years, lol.

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ok, an update from me.

 

Did my cut to 85mg last Sunday. Ill upgrade my signature when I can get to a computer, its a huge pain to do anything on my mobile device.

 

This cut was one of the more difficult ones for me. I became very emotional and irrational the following morning, I actually went into a rage and destroyed my laptop! :(

 

Its really not like me to turn destructive, and it was over something very miniscule. Then my fiance got upset because I had to spend 70 bux to replace it so he was kinda mean to me about it for a couple days which didnt help things lol. The second day I was so physically ill that I could barely leave the bed.

 

But by the third day, emotions went back to normal, and I started to feel better physically. Fiance forgave me for destroying our only computer lol. It was so stupid the whole thing. Very short and intense few days.

 

The only plus was that I didn't get any insomnia, which is a first. I did have some bad dreams but it was manageable.

 

Still waiting on the document in the mail so we can get married. This tuesday will make 3 weeks and thats when they said it would be here by.

 

Were going to Florida for 10 days on the 20th so im very excited about that. Maybe well get married there instead of Tennessee.

 

Im just anxious to do it because im basically living like a drifter lol and I need to get my immigration papers filed ASAP. Frustrating not being able to work or register my vehicle.

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Well done - you got through your 3-day tornado of symptoms :).  What % did you drop by?  You may like to consider a longer hold or a small drop for next time.  You can really tailor things to suit you.

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

2023 Now on 7 micro-beads of Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops.

 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well done - you got through your 3-day tornado of symptoms :).  What % did you drop by?  You may like to consider a longer hold or a small drop for next time.  You can really tailor things to suit you.

 

I seem to do better with a longer hold, as you put it.

 

Doing much better now emotionally.

 

Though my life has become somewhat hectic, ran into a few obstacles that are really testing my patience and emotions.

 

Turns out that my Fiance is still legally married to his ex. She foraged a divorce document a few years ago when she became desperate to get rid of him and essentially tricked him into thinking they were divorced. He found this out recently when he went to order a copy of the divorce decree, and was informed that it didn't exist! She also told everyone in their small town that he abandoned her and the kids for me, (and that we are married now), which makes no sense because we didn't even meet until a year after she left him for some rich dude. It gets worse but I won't go into any more detail. She's basically lying to everyone and trying to ruin his reputation! I don't understand how someone like that can sleep at night. What a wretched women.

 

Anyways, all this time I have been waiting for the document to arrive, my fiance has been scrambling to get the divorced finalized behind my back. I had a feeling something was up because he would get mad at me when I asked him to look into why it was taking so long to get the paperwork. So I confronted him, and told him that he has one chance to tell me the truth and I will stand by him no matter what, and not get upset with him. So he told me the truth. And we were both a lot happier afterwards.

 

The worst part is that now we have to change our plans. I'm facing a 3 year ban if I don't get back to Canada soon. We won't be able to marry in time.

 

The good news, is that he and his ex have a court date on May 20th to finalize the divorce. All the paperwork is in order, she is fully co-operating, and there are no disputes with money, property, or the kids. It should be straight forward. We will likely have to pay to fly her out here from the west coast, but I'm OK with that. Man I'd love to give this woman a piece of my mind, but there is no way I am going to rock the boat, especially where his kids are concerned, and I don't want to ruin the fact she is willing to come out here.

 

So, in a few weeks I'll be driving back to Canada, alone. We're going to file for a different type of VISA which can take up to 10 months to get approved. Meaning we will be a part for the remainder of the year. Once that gets approved, I can come back and we have 90 days to marry, and once we do I can apply for my social and start working immediately.

 

I'll be staying at my grandma's house in Canada and working part time. She is 87 and alone. I won't have any expenses which is nice.

 

We're trying to just stay positive and look at the bright side. I am confident that it will work out and we will be together again.

 

Our relationship has no underlying issues, other than government BS but that will get straightened out.

 

And my pill cuts will probably have to be put on hold. My grandma doesn't understand any of that, and I feel much more comfortable doing that here in Tennessee where my fiance will take care of me.

 

So that's that, lol.

 

Sorry for the long, personal rant. I really have no other outlet, and my fiance insists we keep all of this private, even from our own family.

 

I remain in good spirits and really just happy that we now have a solid plan in place.

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

Link to comment

Oh, and the Florida trip is basically cancelled/on hold at this point. I don't think we'll have the funds to go. :(

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Cutting to 76.5mg tonight.

 

Thats 51% of my original dose.

 

Might be the last cut for a bit, depends on job situation.

 

Wish me luck! :)

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Good luck!  51% is amazing.  Have a little celebration :D

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

2023 Now on 7 micro-beads of Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops.

 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

Link to comment

Good luck!  51% is amazing.  Have a little celebration :D

 

Thanks for your continued support, Karen.

 

Have to say, this round has been one of the easier ones for me. I've had zero insomnia, which is a pleasant surprise and a first for me.

 

Monday I woke up and felt completely normal, as if I never even cut.

 

Today, well, I slept well, but at 8 when I woke to take my bf to work, I felt very zombie-ish, wasn't able to make coffee, make his lunch or take him to work. Luckily it's a half mile and he walked and didn't mind.

 

But once I woke up again around 9, and actually got out of bed, the grogginess wore off and I felt normal again, and have felt fine all day.

 

Sometimes you just don't know how it's going to be. I expected it to be bad because I cut right on the 4 week mark and normally I wait at least 5. But it has gone very well. Mood is also very stable, zero issues, despite a few stressors.

 

And now I am motivated to do another cut in 4 weeks even though I told myself I'd hold off, lol. We'll just have to see, I guess!

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Good to hear things are going well now, bugged.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Congrats on halfway buggedout!! We are at the same point! :) I'm doing a 3 week hold this time so cutting to 35.6 on 5/5. We rock!! :)

History: Began suffering from panic attacks when my father passed away in 2005. Been on and off SSRIs (Celexa, Lexapro, Effexor XR), and therapy since then.

2009 - Started Effexor XR 75mg. Consistent therapy starting Oct 2013

Feb 2014 - Therapist and I felt I was ready to come off Effexor - went to half dose (37.5mg) for a week and then off completely by advice of psychiatrist - bad w/d for a week then gone

May 2014 - bad protracted w/d came out of nowhere.. constant dizziness, agoraphobia(never had before), intense headaches, fatigue for 3 months, all tests (brain MRI, inner ear tests, blood tests, etc.) normal. could not drive, grocery shop, or live life.

Aug 2014 - back on Effexor XR 75mg as neurologist thought these symptoms were my anxiety coming back, all w/d symptoms disappear within 2 weeks. I should have went back on at a lower dose, but I hadn't discovered this site yet. I finally did discover this site, and gave myself a year to stabilize.

July 2015 - Started tapering from 75mg. 5% cuts every 3 weeks. From July 2015 - March 2016, reduced to 37.5mg (half dose). In March 2017, down to 18.3mg (quarter dose). April 2020 - down to 0.38mg.

 

Now: Finally med free as of Oct 31, 2020 after 5.5 years of tapering. Still med and withdrawal free, January 2023. ☀️

Supplements during tapering and now: Meditation, daily exercise, fish oil, clean diet, working from home (more sleep!)

Link to comment

Congrats on halfway buggedout!! We are at the same point! :) I'm doing a 3 week hold this time so cutting to 35.6 on 5/5. We rock!! :)

 

Nice to hear from you PKC! :)

 

It's great being on the 50% mark.

 

Tonight I reduced to 69mg!!

 

I was initially going to hold a bit longer, but I realized that I will run out of beads if I don't reduce, before I am able to get my medication again. My mom is bringing it up for me since I am out of the country, and I didn't want to risk shipping it lol.

 

If this one goes well then I will reduce again in 4 weeks. It bugs my OCD doing it mid week though LOL.

 

Take care!

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

Link to comment

I completed a tentative schedule of my reductions and it basically takes me to 8.5mg around Dec 2017...

 

My question is, at one point can I just stop taking this stuff? I really was hoping to be off of it by then...

 

I tried searching the forum to see how others have done it, but I couldn't really find what I was looking for. Any advice/ideas is appreciated.

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Yes, at some point you'll need to make a decision to 'jump off.'  It's different for everyone, and it involves really listening in to your body and instincts.  Many people have to go slower at that lower end of the taper.

 

We have this thread which some discussion about it:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/11051-when-to-end-the-taper-and-jump-to-zero/

 

My 'end point' is so far away I don't even think about it.  I'd be stoked with 2017 :).  There you go ... it's all relative.

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

2023 Now on 7 micro-beads of Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops.

 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

Link to comment

Yes, at some point you'll need to make a decision to 'jump off.'  It's different for everyone, and it involves really listening in to your body and instincts.  Many people have to go slower at that lower end of the taper.

 

We have this thread which some discussion about it:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/11051-when-to-end-the-taper-and-jump-to-zero/

 

My 'end point' is so far away I don't even think about it.  I'd be stoked with 2017 :).  There you go ... it's all relative.

 

Thanks Karen, that's exactly what I was looking for!!

 

I really don't mind my projected dates... for the most part... and I am happy with how far I've come so far.

 

I'm just concerned because I do want to get pregnant at some point in the near future.

 

This time next year I will be married, and I was hoping to get pregnant shortly after that... my biological clock is ticking lol. I'm 29 and I will be 30 this December. I really didn't want to be much older than 31/32 when I give birth!

 

And now I am getting worried there might be complications if I wait too long. I'd hate to miss out just because of this stupid poison!

 

But I think as long as I remain consistent with my reductions I'll make it work. I really can't afford any more stress towards the situation! lol.

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...

How are you doing, buggedout? Haven't heard from you in a while!

History: Began suffering from panic attacks when my father passed away in 2005. Been on and off SSRIs (Celexa, Lexapro, Effexor XR), and therapy since then.

2009 - Started Effexor XR 75mg. Consistent therapy starting Oct 2013

Feb 2014 - Therapist and I felt I was ready to come off Effexor - went to half dose (37.5mg) for a week and then off completely by advice of psychiatrist - bad w/d for a week then gone

May 2014 - bad protracted w/d came out of nowhere.. constant dizziness, agoraphobia(never had before), intense headaches, fatigue for 3 months, all tests (brain MRI, inner ear tests, blood tests, etc.) normal. could not drive, grocery shop, or live life.

Aug 2014 - back on Effexor XR 75mg as neurologist thought these symptoms were my anxiety coming back, all w/d symptoms disappear within 2 weeks. I should have went back on at a lower dose, but I hadn't discovered this site yet. I finally did discover this site, and gave myself a year to stabilize.

July 2015 - Started tapering from 75mg. 5% cuts every 3 weeks. From July 2015 - March 2016, reduced to 37.5mg (half dose). In March 2017, down to 18.3mg (quarter dose). April 2020 - down to 0.38mg.

 

Now: Finally med free as of Oct 31, 2020 after 5.5 years of tapering. Still med and withdrawal free, January 2023. ☀️

Supplements during tapering and now: Meditation, daily exercise, fish oil, clean diet, working from home (more sleep!)

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

How are you doing, buggedout? Haven't heard from you in a while!

 

Hey PrimeKC!

 

Nice to hear from you. Sorry I haven't given any updates in a while!

 

I haven't done any reduction since 69mg in April. I've been majorly distracted and super unhappy with my current living situation.

 

With that said, I am reducing to 62mg this Sunday, and I've already made up my pills for a whole month!

 

Unfortunately I had to put my cuts on the back burner and I really wish I didn't have to.

 

I'm living with my grandmother in Canada temporarily which I think I mentioned above... and long story short it SUCKS.

 

It's like being in prison. Actually, I bet prison is better than this.

 

She's emotionally abusive, manipulative, speaks ill about me to her friends and neighbors, and finds fault in literally EVERYTHING I do. Especially the things I am most passionate about like the outdoors, photography, gym etc.

 

She's also 87 so I can't help but feel compassionate towards her. I'm too nice I tell you.

 

I've been suffering here for just over 4 months now and I have about 3 left to go, until I get my VISA and return to the US to be with my fiance.

 

I can't move out on my own because there is no work here, not at the moment, I've tried, and if do I move out I am certain she will cut me out of the will (it's not about the money, it's the principle of the thing) and turn my family against me. My brothers already feel distasteful towards me because they hear me mention how she is treating me, and they think I'm full of ****! Well they aren't here so what do they know.

 

So how am I doing? I'm doing well in general with my workouts, losing weight etc. but mentally I am a mess.

 

Here's one example of what I have to deal with. I tell nana, well, told her like 200 times now that I am eating a strict diet and can't have pie, cake, or any type of sweets. (maybe once a month at the most).

 

So what does she do? She literally makes a pie like every ******* day. EVERY DAY. and she KNOWS I can't eat it. So she makes it, and then tries to guilt me into eating it. And I tell her EVERY TIME, Nana, I can't eat that. And she gets mad at me and says "WHY?! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH IT THEN?" And I tell her, you know i tell you every day that I can't have sweets and she says "WELL I GUESS I FORGOT CAUSE IM GETTING OLD"

 

And I know she's full of ****. She ******* to her friends on the phone about what a "picky" eater I am. She damn well knows, and she does it to manipulate me and to try and make me lose my focus.

 

BTW, I'm really not picky at all. I will pretty much eat whatever, I just prefer to have lots of meat and veg. She just gets really pissed off when i tell her no thank you. But really that's her problem not mine. If I don't want seconds, or if I don't want more meat, or more potato, or more whatever she's trying to shove down my throat, then I'm not going to eat it and she can just deal with it.

 

I'm also tired of her going through my (most personal) things and then trying to discreetly quiz me on it.

 

My fiancee came up for a visit a few weeks ago and he caught her looking through his suitcase.

 

You can't make this **** up.

 

Help.

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

Link to comment

... one more thing. I'm not done ranting yet lol.

 

When I moved here in April, I explained to her all about my pills and my weaning... what I'm doing, why I'm doing it... why I don't need to tell my doctor I'm doing it. I went into all the personal details because I wanted her to understand what I am doing and not wonder about it if she sees the pill bottle in my room, or wonders why I get sick once a month. Sounds good enough right?

 

Well that was a mistake. Nana thinks I'm some type of crazy pill popper person. I've heard her tell her friends this. She thinks there is something wrong with me and it's due to my medication, either I'm not taking it when i should be, or I'm abusing it!

 

She's even started to randomly leave her own medication laying around the house which is something she's NEVER done in the past. And I know she's doing it as a test to see if I will take it and use it for myself? I never touch her pills and have no intention on taking strange mystery pills, like wtf? And of course when she sees that I have no interest in scooping up her loose pills, she asks ME what it is and tells me she's never seen it and has no idea where it came from. I guess that's her way of accusing me of leaving strange medication laying around? Or a final test to see if I will claim it?

 

Like WTF I have one pill and that's my effexor, anything else is hers.

 

She is seriously mentally ill. My parents said she's always been like that so being old in her case isn't an excuse.

 

If doesn't matter what you do or tell her, she lives in her own delusional world. She comes up with crazy theories, then starts phoning her friends for validation. If one friend doesn't agree with her, she'll call the next one, or move on to the neighbor, until someone feels bad enough for her to tell her that maybe she is right.

 

She also talks so much **** about my mom, but we won't go there.

 

3 more months...

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

Link to comment

Omg, I'm so sorry to hear that. She does sound very manipulative and non-trusting. It's horrible when you have to deal with this emotional/mental abuse from someone you love. You did the right thing by telling her about your Effexor situation and I'm sorry that she doesn't understand. I wonder what would happen if you called her out about the pies and the pill thing - do you think she would get really mad and kick you out? Are you able to get out of the house at all? I know you probably don't have any money, but even for walks or try to find a friend or 2 to do something with. If you did have money, maybe yoga or something would help. Ugh, just try to get through this.. like you said, only 3 more months. :(

History: Began suffering from panic attacks when my father passed away in 2005. Been on and off SSRIs (Celexa, Lexapro, Effexor XR), and therapy since then.

2009 - Started Effexor XR 75mg. Consistent therapy starting Oct 2013

Feb 2014 - Therapist and I felt I was ready to come off Effexor - went to half dose (37.5mg) for a week and then off completely by advice of psychiatrist - bad w/d for a week then gone

May 2014 - bad protracted w/d came out of nowhere.. constant dizziness, agoraphobia(never had before), intense headaches, fatigue for 3 months, all tests (brain MRI, inner ear tests, blood tests, etc.) normal. could not drive, grocery shop, or live life.

Aug 2014 - back on Effexor XR 75mg as neurologist thought these symptoms were my anxiety coming back, all w/d symptoms disappear within 2 weeks. I should have went back on at a lower dose, but I hadn't discovered this site yet. I finally did discover this site, and gave myself a year to stabilize.

July 2015 - Started tapering from 75mg. 5% cuts every 3 weeks. From July 2015 - March 2016, reduced to 37.5mg (half dose). In March 2017, down to 18.3mg (quarter dose). April 2020 - down to 0.38mg.

 

Now: Finally med free as of Oct 31, 2020 after 5.5 years of tapering. Still med and withdrawal free, January 2023. ☀️

Supplements during tapering and now: Meditation, daily exercise, fish oil, clean diet, working from home (more sleep!)

Link to comment

Omg, I'm so sorry to hear that. She does sound very manipulative and non-trusting. It's horrible when you have to deal with this emotional/mental abuse from someone you love. You did the right thing by telling her about your Effexor situation and I'm sorry that she doesn't understand. I wonder what would happen if you called her out about the pies and the pill thing - do you think she would get really mad and kick you out? Are you able to get out of the house at all? I know you probably don't have any money, but even for walks or try to find a friend or 2 to do something with. If you did have money, maybe yoga or something would help. Ugh, just try to get through this.. like you said, only 3 more months. :(

 

Yes it does really suck when it's from someone you love/relative. I just wish she wasn't like that. I want her to just be happy but she never is, always finding things to be upset about. She's 87... and I thought that moving in with her would give us a chance to actually get to know each other and spend time together, since I've always lived so far away and she has been alone for a few years since my grandpa died. But she's not interested in getting to know me... all she wants to do is manipulate me and then gossip about me/make up lies to her friends!

 

Just this morning she made 3 cherry tarts and told me that one is for me, and that I should make a pie too. I told her, Nana, I've told you 100 times now that I can't eat sweets. I'm on a diet!! "ohhh???" she says. I just ran downstairs without even saying any more. Pretty sure I can hear her now complaining about me on the phone to her friend. I'm at the end of my rope with this.

 

I have bigger worries though today. The visa people are requesting more info/evidence of mine and my fiance's relationship. Apparently photo's aren't enough proof that we have met in person, now I have to get a bunch of documents, flights and hotel receipts together and prepare it in a package to send back to them. It pushes me back another 2-3 weeks now that I'll have to live here.

 

Meanwhile nana has absolutely zero compassion for my situation or what I'm going through. Instead she's busy making herself out to be a victim because I don't want to eat her damn pies.

 

I do have a little bit of savings but it's dwindling... I had to pay like 2.4k for my car insurance because I am new to the province so they are treating me as if I am a new driver with new driver rates.

 

I also have a gym membership and I go almost every day... but Nana gets really mad anytime I leave the house and she's even locked me out on occasion when I was gone for "too long". (then she plays dumb and says she accidentally double dead-bolted the door, but I know it's on purpose.)

 

Basically I can't just leave the house to go anywhere. #1 if I go out without telling her, it's a guarantee I'll be locked out when I come back. #2 when I do tell her I'm going out, she stalls me for like 15+ minutes before I am able to get out the door. "can you pick me up this? you're going to the gym again? don't you think you're overdoing it? didn't you just go to the pharmacy? what are we going to have for dinner? I need you to help me with something" etc. etc.

 

Then when I come home, she stalls me again and bombards me with BS and also comments about how long I was gone, or, how quick I was to come back. If I buy something, she asks to see what's in my bags. I usually just tell her it's nothing exciting, but then she gets on the phone with her friends, complains that I must be hiding something because I won't show her what I bought. But if I do show her, she will complain or make comments about what I bought. So either way I just can't win. She'll never be happy and I'll always be doing something wrong no matter what.

 

The last... 4 nights now I haven't been able to get to sleep until like 3 or 4am. It's mainly due to my stress over the living situation.

 

I've decided that I am NOT going to do a cut tonight as initially planned. I'm very unstable mentally.

 

Last night was the worst "sleep" I ever had... if you can call it that.

 

I had panic attacks when I tried to fall asleep, and also woke up in a panic several times throughout the night, head flooded with anxiety and stress.

 

I know it's temporary and I'll get through it. It just really sucks in the meantime.

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

Link to comment

I'm so sorry to hear that :( My 83 year old grandpa lives in Florida but will stay with us in Michigan a week or so a year. It always stressful. Even though he is a nice person, he will rant about random stuff - for example "WHY DIDN'T YOU PLANT CUCUMBERS THIS YEAR" for like 10 minutes, or  "WHY DID YOU WORK SO LONG" (I'm trying to mimic his Italian grandfather loud voice).. Or picks the green tomatoes off of my tomato plant even when I specifically asked him not to. Or stalls me big time when I'm trying to leave for work.

 

I think sometimes they are just lonely and need things to do or things to b*tch about. Not saying it excuses anything, especially trying to look into your bags when you come back from the store. I wonder if you sat her down and said, grandma, I know you're being nice by cooking pies all of the time, but please try to remember and respect that I'm trying to eat a certain way and can't eat them. 

 

Try to relax and keep up with the gym, getting rid of some energy can only be good. Also have you tried magnesium oil for night time to sleep? It really helps me if I'm stressed and can't sleep. I get mine from Amazon, it's a spray on oil - I put like 5 sprays on the bottom of each of my feet with socks and it really feels like I took a sleeping pill. It's relaxing and also most people are magnesium deficient so it helps that too.

History: Began suffering from panic attacks when my father passed away in 2005. Been on and off SSRIs (Celexa, Lexapro, Effexor XR), and therapy since then.

2009 - Started Effexor XR 75mg. Consistent therapy starting Oct 2013

Feb 2014 - Therapist and I felt I was ready to come off Effexor - went to half dose (37.5mg) for a week and then off completely by advice of psychiatrist - bad w/d for a week then gone

May 2014 - bad protracted w/d came out of nowhere.. constant dizziness, agoraphobia(never had before), intense headaches, fatigue for 3 months, all tests (brain MRI, inner ear tests, blood tests, etc.) normal. could not drive, grocery shop, or live life.

Aug 2014 - back on Effexor XR 75mg as neurologist thought these symptoms were my anxiety coming back, all w/d symptoms disappear within 2 weeks. I should have went back on at a lower dose, but I hadn't discovered this site yet. I finally did discover this site, and gave myself a year to stabilize.

July 2015 - Started tapering from 75mg. 5% cuts every 3 weeks. From July 2015 - March 2016, reduced to 37.5mg (half dose). In March 2017, down to 18.3mg (quarter dose). April 2020 - down to 0.38mg.

 

Now: Finally med free as of Oct 31, 2020 after 5.5 years of tapering. Still med and withdrawal free, January 2023. ☀️

Supplements during tapering and now: Meditation, daily exercise, fish oil, clean diet, working from home (more sleep!)

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I'm so sorry to hear that :( My 83 year old grandpa lives in Florida but will stay with us in Michigan a week or so a year. It always stressful. Even though he is a nice person, he will rant about random stuff - for example "WHY DIDN'T YOU PLANT CUCUMBERS THIS YEAR" for like 10 minutes, or  "WHY DID YOU WORK SO LONG" (I'm trying to mimic his Italian grandfather loud voice).. Or picks the green tomatoes off of my tomato plant even when I specifically asked him not to. Or stalls me big time when I'm trying to leave for work.

 

I think sometimes they are just lonely and need things to do or things to b*tch about. Not saying it excuses anything, especially trying to look into your bags when you come back from the store. I wonder if you sat her down and said, grandma, I know you're being nice by cooking pies all of the time, but please try to remember and respect that I'm trying to eat a certain way and can't eat them. 

 

Try to relax and keep up with the gym, getting rid of some energy can only be good. Also have you tried magnesium oil for night time to sleep? It really helps me if I'm stressed and can't sleep. I get mine from Amazon, it's a spray on oil - I put like 5 sprays on the bottom of each of my feet with socks and it really feels like I took a sleeping pill. It's relaxing and also most people are magnesium deficient so it helps that too.

 

Awww. You know it's almost endearing in a way when they act like that... at least you only have to deal with it for one week out of the year! lol. Probably easier to hold your own tongue when it's only for a short time.

 

I have not actually tried (spray) magnesium, but I've seen you mention it before. I needed to order some fish oil this week anyways, so I will grab a bottle of that too. Magnesium is one of those vitamins that can be hard to get enough of. I mean my multivitamin only has like .5% of the recommended dose. And it's required for your body to process calcium properly. So yes, great suggestion! I look forward to trying it.

 

I'm just hanging in there. Some days are harder than others.

 

Recently I was faced with a new problem though that is unrelated to any of this. And it really makes my BS with my Nana seem trivial...

 

Shortly after my fiance had his divorce finalized (last May), his ex moved in with the man she left him for. Since then she has cut off all communication between him and the kids. All of their phone's are now out of service, which means she probably replaced them with new ones/new numbers. She is completely ignoring him on social media and email.

 

Last night he called me in tears. That's only the second time he's ever cried in front of me in the year and a half we've been together. The first time was when he told me of a daughter they lost through a miscarriage. He has a big heart when it comes to children.

 

He's devastated because he's been trying every day to reach his kids. He tries calling every day even though their phones are off. He has mailed them all kinds of letters and packages, and even included envelopes already stamped so that they could write him back easily.

 

But we have a feeling that the ex is just throwing away the packages... when he did briefly get his oldest daughter on the phone about a month ago, she went completely silent when he asked if they had received his packages. She turns 18 this year, and has been ignoring his facebook messages lately which makes absolutely no sense. I think her mom has her brainwashed.

 

He raised those kids while their mother sat around and played video games. He's the one who not only worked, but cooked and cleaned and kept their house in order.

 

And he doesn't deserve this. I'm so heartbroken and it makes me cry when he calls me crying.

 

I know this is very off topic but I just don't know where else I can talk about this.

 

We know that the kids are safe and in a good home. But my fiance worries that they have no idea he's trying to reach them, and they might eventually think he wants nothing to do with them. He also doesn't understand why they aren't trying to contact him.

 

When him and I met, they were on the phone every single night and he would read chapters out of a novel to them all on speakerphone. This went on for the entire first year of our relationship.

 

But now suddenly, I guess because the divorce is final... the ex doesn't feel the need to stay on good terms and now has everyone ignoring him.

 

What is a person to do. I told him he should just fly there and find the kids at school. It's a small town, but his ex is friends with the sheriff and he's worried that she'll have him arrested if he makes an appearance.

 

I hate to say it but I had a feeling this would happen, and I warned him that she might do this... but he would always give her the benefit of the doubt. "She's not that bad of a person, I was with her for 15 years..." he would say. Well now that I've been proven right, it doesn't feel any better.

 

I hope that whatever this is, is only temporary. He's completely devastated over it.

 

BTW I decided to just go with the cut on Monday, and my mind has been so distracted I haven't even noticed a change!

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

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  • 3 months later...

Hey everyone, thought I would pop in for an update since it's been a long time. :)

 

I haven't done any cuts since my Aug 14th cut. This is because I have been under heaps of stress and did not have the motivation or mindset.

 

The stress of being away from my fiance, 8 months now, on top of dealing with my grandmother, has really taken a toll on me, especially the last few weeks, during the final processing of my visa. I've had a number of ups and downs and now I basically feel sick or in pain every day.

 

I'm constantly light headed and get dizzy very easily. My liver and stomach are sore. I have heartburn all the time. Chronic dull headaches. I have insomnia, and in the last week I've started having panic attacks, subconsciously, out of nowhere. My body becomes alarmed over small noises such as my phone ringing, etc, or sometimes for no reason at all. When that happens I have a brief increase of heart rate, feeling of faintness, and weird sensation in my chest. I also have numerous unexplained back pains in different places at random times. I also either tore or sprained my Achilles tendon from running, and after 2 months staying off of it, it's not getting any better.

 

This is not normal at all for me, and I do attribute it directly to stress. So even though it's concerning, I am confident that soon all of these things will clear up for me.

 

The good news:

 

My visa was finally approved and will be in my hands this Monday. My car is already packed and I am leaving town immediately when it is in my hands. I will finally be reunited with my fiance next Sunday -- only because he is currently in the UAE for business.

 

Also, I have been able to spend some time at my Aunties house the last month, which has really helped alleviate much of my stress.

 

I also worked a part time job the last couple of months... delivering pizza lol. It got me out of the house which was nice, even if Nana locked me out on purpose after my shift.

 

On top of all that, my fiance was finally able to get through to his children, after physically flying to Seattle. He gave them a prepaid cell phone. Contact is still a little sketchy, only 2-3 times a week, but it's better than before when he was completely unable to reach them.

 

...and one more piece of good news, I managed to lose about 10 or 15 lbs over the summer, so I'm happy about that.

 

Tonight is the last night I will spend with at my grandma's house. Tomorrow I go to my Auntie's to spend my last night in town and hang out with some different relatives.

 

Then on Monday I make my 14 hour drive down back home to Nashville.

 

Part of the reason I can't sleep lately is because I am so freaking excited about going back, returning to a normal life, and moving forward.

 

So I am just toughing it out for these last couple days.

 

I will make a 10% reduction again sometime in December, right now it just isn't on my mind. But I know it's important to stay consistent if I ever want to see the end of these stupid pills.

Effexor XR:

July 2008: 150mg | June 24 2015: 145mg | July 28 2015: 130.5mg | Sept 4 2015: 117mg | Nov 10 2015: 105mg

Jan 24 2016: 94.5mg | Feb 28 2016: 85mg | Mar 27 2016: 76.5mg | Apr 28 2016: 69mg | Aug 14 2016: 62mg

Jan 19 2017: 56mg | Feb 21 2017: 50mg | Mar 30 2017: 36mg | Apr 2 2017: 45mg | Sep 1 2019: 27.5mg

April 9 2020: 25.2mg | Oct 30 2021: 16.9mg | Apr 1 2023: 15.2mg | May 1 2023: 13.7mg | May 31 2023: 12.3mg

July 1 2023: 11.1mg | Aug 1st 2023: 10mg | Sep 25 2023: 9mg | Oct 25 2023: 8.1mg

 

Vitamins & Supplements:

MegaFood Women's Postnatal Vitamin | Metagenix D3 5000 IU | Floradix Liquid Iron

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi!! :) I'm so glad that you will be (or are now) reunited with your fiance!! I am proud of you for making it through this tough time and also for holding back cutting because of the extra stress. Since it took such a toll on you (understandably), I would recommend not even cutting in December, and start fresh with the new year. Try to get some rest and keep up on what you've been doing. I'm also glad that your fiance has been able to keep in contact with his children. Keep rocking it :)

History: Began suffering from panic attacks when my father passed away in 2005. Been on and off SSRIs (Celexa, Lexapro, Effexor XR), and therapy since then.

2009 - Started Effexor XR 75mg. Consistent therapy starting Oct 2013

Feb 2014 - Therapist and I felt I was ready to come off Effexor - went to half dose (37.5mg) for a week and then off completely by advice of psychiatrist - bad w/d for a week then gone

May 2014 - bad protracted w/d came out of nowhere.. constant dizziness, agoraphobia(never had before), intense headaches, fatigue for 3 months, all tests (brain MRI, inner ear tests, blood tests, etc.) normal. could not drive, grocery shop, or live life.

Aug 2014 - back on Effexor XR 75mg as neurologist thought these symptoms were my anxiety coming back, all w/d symptoms disappear within 2 weeks. I should have went back on at a lower dose, but I hadn't discovered this site yet. I finally did discover this site, and gave myself a year to stabilize.

July 2015 - Started tapering from 75mg. 5% cuts every 3 weeks. From July 2015 - March 2016, reduced to 37.5mg (half dose). In March 2017, down to 18.3mg (quarter dose). April 2020 - down to 0.38mg.

 

Now: Finally med free as of Oct 31, 2020 after 5.5 years of tapering. Still med and withdrawal free, January 2023. ☀️

Supplements during tapering and now: Meditation, daily exercise, fish oil, clean diet, working from home (more sleep!)

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Hi Buggedout, you wrote:

 

"I'm constantly light headed and get dizzy very easily... I have heartburn all the time. Chronic dull headaches. I have insomnia, and in the last week I've started having panic attacks, subconsciously, out of nowhere. My body becomes alarmed over small noises such as my phone ringing, etc, or sometimes for no reason at all. When that happens I have a brief increase of heart rate, feeling of faintness, and weird sensation in my chest"

 

These all sound like Effexor withdrawal effects. (From unfortunate personal experience with Effexor, I recognize these classic and specific symptoms). If I were you, I'd consider holding longer and not dropping down again in December. Consider dropping again when these symptoms get better/resolve. Glad things are going better in your life overall. All the best!

Started on Effexor 75 immediate release 1/2015. Took it once a day, which was the way the doctor prescribed it.  

Stopped Effexor after taking it for 4 months; fast taper over 3-4 weeks;  5/2015-6/2015

Daily "brain zaps" and other neurological symptoms  (vertigo, dizziness, headaches, ticking in left ear) without improvement since stopping Effexor, starting early 6/2015

Brain zaps and other neurological changes for about 16 months, then decided to go back on Effexor, 9/2016

Symptoms disappeared on Effexor 112.5 mg (I ramped up from 37.5 to see what would work)

Slow taper back down.  Brain zaps recurred especially below 75 mg.  

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  • 2 weeks later...

I agree with Wishes, my main withdrawal symptoms are dizziness, very dull headaches, random tiny panic attacks, fatigue and sometimes agoraphobia.

History: Began suffering from panic attacks when my father passed away in 2005. Been on and off SSRIs (Celexa, Lexapro, Effexor XR), and therapy since then.

2009 - Started Effexor XR 75mg. Consistent therapy starting Oct 2013

Feb 2014 - Therapist and I felt I was ready to come off Effexor - went to half dose (37.5mg) for a week and then off completely by advice of psychiatrist - bad w/d for a week then gone

May 2014 - bad protracted w/d came out of nowhere.. constant dizziness, agoraphobia(never had before), intense headaches, fatigue for 3 months, all tests (brain MRI, inner ear tests, blood tests, etc.) normal. could not drive, grocery shop, or live life.

Aug 2014 - back on Effexor XR 75mg as neurologist thought these symptoms were my anxiety coming back, all w/d symptoms disappear within 2 weeks. I should have went back on at a lower dose, but I hadn't discovered this site yet. I finally did discover this site, and gave myself a year to stabilize.

July 2015 - Started tapering from 75mg. 5% cuts every 3 weeks. From July 2015 - March 2016, reduced to 37.5mg (half dose). In March 2017, down to 18.3mg (quarter dose). April 2020 - down to 0.38mg.

 

Now: Finally med free as of Oct 31, 2020 after 5.5 years of tapering. Still med and withdrawal free, January 2023. ☀️

Supplements during tapering and now: Meditation, daily exercise, fish oil, clean diet, working from home (more sleep!)

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