buggedout: hi, early stages of my Effexor XR taper

[buggedout]

Hi Buggedout, you wrote:

 

"I'm constantly light headed and get dizzy very easily... I have heartburn all the time. Chronic dull headaches. I have insomnia, and in the last week I've started having panic attacks, subconsciously, out of nowhere. My body becomes alarmed over small noises such as my phone ringing, etc, or sometimes for no reason at all. When that happens I have a brief increase of heart rate, feeling of faintness, and weird sensation in my chest"

 

These all sound like Effexor withdrawal effects. (From unfortunate personal experience with Effexor, I recognize these classic and specific symptoms). If I were you, I'd consider holding longer and not dropping down again in December. Consider dropping again when these symptoms get better/resolve. Glad things are going better in your life overall. All the best!

 

Hi Wishes,

 

Yes, they are indeed all withdrawal effects!! The strange thing... these effects always hit me hard when I am under extreme stress. It's hard to explain... my stress brings out my withdrawal effects. Even if I haven't made a reduction. The good thing is, the most stressful period in my life has finally passed, so I am not dealing with this nonsense anymore!

 

I finally made my reduction today. Just this minute, I took a 56mg dose. Can't believe it's been about 5 months since my last reduction, I have got to get back on track!

 

Cheers,

 

Buggedout

[buggedout]

Hi!! I'm so glad that you will be (or are now) reunited with your fiance!! I am proud of you for making it through this tough time and also for holding back cutting because of the extra stress. Since it took such a toll on you (understandably), I would recommend not even cutting in December, and start fresh with the new year. Try to get some rest and keep up on what you've been doing. I'm also glad that your fiance has been able to keep in contact with his children. Keep rocking it

 

Hey PKC!

 

I read your post back when you made it but just haven't had a chance to respond and give a proper update.

 

Readjusting to life down here has been extremely tough to say the least. It's like a culture shock... and my Nana's negativity really rubbed off on me in a bad way. It actually took me a good month or so to get "normal" again mentally... and get along with my fiance -- Now husband as of Dec 5th BTW

 

We had a lot of fights for the first little bit. I had a lot of insecurity and negativity, which even I knew was irrational and silly.

 

I had a bad start when I returned. He was actually gone overseas for work and my parents who also live down here, were out of town. I was alone and I came home to an extremely messy house. Basically my husband didn't do any cleaning at all in the 8 months I was gone (made me a little sad since it showed that he needed me here to do those things) but it was frustrating after a long trip to not even have a clean frying pan to cook some food or any space to wash the dishes.

 

Aside from that, I actually ended up in ER the night I arrived. I had stomach ulcers. When I got here, I had a glass of wine to "celebrate" and it irritated my ulcers and my entire torso felt like it was on fire, even my back. I thought I was dying! The ER basically dismissed me as a drug addict and told me I might've had a gallbladder attack and released me with a narcotic prescription -- which I never filled. After a few days of research, and trial and error with my diet, I came to the conclusion that it was ulcers. I got tested for the bacterial infection which causes ulcers and tested negative. This meant one thing... they were caused by stress!! From my frigging Nana!! And of course the natural stress of the uncertainty of my visa and when I'd be coming back, etc.

 

As soon as I started treating the ulcers, I finally got some relief. I can still feel them from time to time if I drink too much etc. but it's gotten significantly better thanks to aloe vera juice and pepcid AC. It can take weeks or months for them to disappear entirely.

 

Anyways, I have adjusted now to life here. Things are great with my husband.

 

My Nana... she is still terrorizing me... not just me, but my parents, and even my aunt and uncle!

 

She is dead set that I am a horrible person!

 

She is claiming now to everyone that she is getting all kinds of mail and phone calls for me. She said people are calling there and demanding to talk to me, saying I owed them money and all kinds of stuff. It is completely bogus and it makes me very sad that she is behaving like this. I have gotten a few phone numbers from her from these people who are supposedly calling, called them back and they have all been telemarketers. The mail she kept for me was merely junk mail. I'm pre-approved for a loan, and offered a discount on roadside assistance... whoopdie do!

 

My uncle actually emailed me yesterday and asked me to please change my address and phone number because Nana won't stop bitching about it to him... even though I have already changed my info, and I never even used her phone number for anything. I had a PO box that I rented there for my mail, and my cell phone. Not to mention no one ever called her number for me when I lived there.

 

Nana is so upset that she didn't give me my Christmas money like she gave my brothers. She also didn't give me and my husband a wedding gift when we got married.

 

My parents, brother, his wife and new baby all visited her for Christmas and she made up a whole bunch of lies about me to them! She told them I demanded that she give me her piano, ruined her dishes and a whole bunch of other nonsense!!

 

She's F***ing nuts!!!!

 

I can't believe I am still dealing with her BS. To this day she is causing fights between my parents, and between me and my husband!!!

 

I would never wish death on anybody, but I think that is the only way that she will ever have any peace, and that the rest of us will too!!

 

 

 

Now as for my pill reductions... I never actually made any since August. Tonight I finally decided that it's time for me to get on with it. So I am down to 56mg effective today. It should go well since I am pretty well stress free again finally.

 

I will check out your thread soon. Very tired right now. Dealt with immigration stuff all day. Man this stuff never ends!

 

 

 

Take care!!

 

BuggedOut

[primekittycat]

Hey, congratulations on getting married!! I am so sorry to hear about your ulcers, I'm glad you were able to figure that out and that they are healing.  I'm also sorry about dealing with your grandmother. It sounds like she has a lot of mental problems to deal with. Does the rest of your family believe what you are saying? I hope so, I am sure she has done the same thing with others in her life. Hopefully your recent cut went well and props to you for holding your dose through everything you went through, it's hard to be patient!

[buggedout]

Hey, congratulations on getting married!! I am so sorry to hear about your ulcers, I'm glad you were able to figure that out and that they are healing.  I'm also sorry about dealing with your grandmother. It sounds like she has a lot of mental problems to deal with. Does the rest of your family believe what you are saying? I hope so, I am sure she has done the same thing with others in her life. Hopefully your recent cut went well and props to you for holding your dose through everything you went through, it's hard to be patient!

 

Thanks

 

My family is starting to see how crazy she is now lol. She broke her hip and had surgery a couple weeks ago. So everyone has gone to visit and they see how negative and irrational she is.

 

Things are going better for me now.

 

I did a cut to 50mg last night. 1/3 the original dose... another milestone!

 

Today I am sick in bed with stomach problems, but I believe they are unrelated to the cut, I think it's from junk food yesterday.

 

Depending how my body reacts... I might start increasing my cuts to 15%. I seem to respond pretty good in general. 2-3 days max of weird head stuff but after that it completely goes away.

 

This time next year, I would like to attempt pregnancy. I am also getting tired of the weight gain which I attribute to this medication. If I am not walking or in the gym, I gain weight quite easily, it also takes me a really long time to lose, even with strict diet/exercise. At one point it took me 2 years to lose 30 lbs and that was with regular crossfit style workouts... very intense and grueling... along with good diet. It's very de-motivating when I don't see the results I work hard for.

 

Anyways, I am going to now make up a tentative reduction schedule and post it here... just for my own information.

 

Hope things are well with you

[buggedout]

My tentative reduction schedule:

 

Increasing cuts to 15%;

 

Mar 23 - 42.5 mg - weight 0.136 g
April 22 - 36 mg - weight 0.116 g
May 22 - 30.5 mg - weight 0.099 g
June 21 - 25 mg - weight 0.084 g
July 21 - 21.5 mg - weight 0.071 g
Aug - 18.5 mg - weight 0.060 g
Sep - 15.5 mg - weight 0.051 g
Oct - 13 mg - weight 0.044 g
Nov - 11 mg - weight 0.037 g
Dec - 9 mg - weight 0.031 g
Jan - 7.5 mg - weight 0.026 g
Feb - 6 mg - weight 0.022 g
Mar - 5 mg - weight 0.019 g

 

After a couple months on 5 mg, I will attempt to "jump off".

Pregnancy may have to wait until the summer but it seems do-able if all goes well.

[buggedout]

I see that I am due for a cut tomorrow. I actually got my period today, so I will make my cut tonight. When i make my cuts, I always get my period about a week later. So instead of getting it twice in a month, I decided to just make my cuts revolve around my cycle.

 

Really not in the mood for this cut, however. My allergies have been really bad, has me feeling constantly light headed, stuffed up and miserable. Plus my mood is already out of wack from my cycle. Such is life. We'll see how this one goes. My poor husband lol.

 

[mammaP]

Hi Buggedout. your body might thank you to hold a little longer, maybe till the next cycle?  If you don't feel in the mood for a cut you don't have to, sometimes a longer hold can be beneficial. I would throw out the calender but keep the figures.  

[buggedout]

Hi Buggedout. your body might thank you to hold a little longer, maybe till the next cycle?  If you don't feel in the mood for a cut you don't have to, sometimes a longer hold can be beneficial. I would throw out the calender but keep the figures.  

Thanks mammaP

 

Yeah I decided to wait a bit... I feel better this week.

 

I know the calendar is a little silly... but I really want to stay on schedule, if I wasn't planning on having kids in the next couple years it wouldn't be such an urgency.

 

The damn pharmacy screwed up my prescription AGAIN yesterday. They filled it with a generic brand, and I specifically stated that it needed to be brand name. So she said she would order it in, which in the past, takes 1 business day. So today I called, and she said it wouldn't be here till Saturday! So I had her re-order it so it would come tomorrow. Good riddance.

 

I have about 3/4 a pill worth of beads. So I figured, I may as well do my reduction tonight since I'm a little short as it is. I'll probably get my period again... but oh well. I'd rather stay on schedule. Not sure exactly what my dose will be tonight, depends how many extra beads I can scrounge around the house.

[mammaP]

The calender isn't silly, it is impressive, we all want to taper off as fast as possible but effexor really is notorious for withdrawal. I tapered for a whole year and thought it was a very slow taper. I was off for a month when I started having terrible withdrawal and had to reinstate. I was ill for a time and had side effects even at a low dose but I couldn't rush it, withdrawal was always there waiting to pounce if I cut too soon or too big. It took another 2 years to taper off. I tapered from 37.5. 

 

Your planned taper is very fast and at 15% is much more than we recommend.  I understand your urgency but you need to be well enough to cope with pregnancy and raising a child. Tapering carefully will mean that you might wait a longer but will be able to enjoy your precious little one. 

 

In case you missed it here is the topic for tapering effexor...

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/272-tapering-off-effexor-venlafaxine/

 

I am glad you insisted on the brand, they say generics are the same but we all kniw they are not! 

[buggedout]

The calender isn't silly, it is impressive, we all want to taper off as fast as possible but effexor really is notorious for withdrawal. I tapered for a whole year and thought it was a very slow taper. I was off for a month when I started having terrible withdrawal and had to reinstate. I was ill for a time and had side effects even at a low dose but I couldn't rush it, withdrawal was always there waiting to pounce if I cut too soon or too big. It took another 2 years to taper off. I tapered from 37.5. 

 

Your planned taper is very fast and at 15% is much more than we recommend.  I understand your urgency but you need to be well enough to cope with pregnancy and raising a child. Tapering carefully will mean that you might wait a longer but will be able to enjoy your precious little one. 

 

In case you missed it here is the topic for tapering effexor...

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/272-tapering-off-effexor-venlafaxine/

 

I am glad you insisted on the brand, they say generics are the same but we all kniw they are not! 

 

Thanks for your advice. I really appreciate it

 

I took whatever last remaining beads I could find last night, weighed .117 which is about twice my 15% reduction. I feel fine today. A little off, but no different than usual.

 

And I know it sounds very rushed and foolish... but I am considering to just stay at the dose I took last night and see what happens. I will never wait less than 30 days for a reduction (I find that the longer I wait, the easier the reduction). But I really find my body to be handling them well, last months reduction had barely any symptoms, my allergies were more of a distraction.

 

The last (two years?) I have really gotten to know my body and it's reaction to this medication. I don't think it will be harmful to experiment a little bit with the dosage, see if I can get away with a larger reduction. My body had a harder time with the reductions when I was on a larger amount, but now that it's become much smaller, I don't seem to have much reaction at all.

 

I will be careful, and I won't hesitate to reinstate a higher dose if this doesn't go well. Really it depends how I feel tomorrow, day 2 is usually the worst day for me. I'll post my results, and if it ends up going bad for me then I will learn from my mistake.

 

You know what probably bothers me the most... is how much the doctors, pharmacists, all health care staff really, are unaware as to the withdrawal of this medication.

 

At my appointment the other day, the nurse, who was actually very sweet, was asking me about my medication, if I'm happy on it, if I want to come off of it, 20 questions. I always play dumb and just say I'm happy on the full dose and don't want to reduce. I did mention that I tried to reduce in the past and it didn't work and I decided to stay on it. She asked what happens when I stop taking it. So of course I listed about a dozen different things lol. She looked at me very confused. Do these people really not have any idea about withdrawal? Same with the pharmacists. You would think that they of all people would understand medication a bit better. I've had to explain to this pharmacy more than once that I get really sick and can't function without it. There was a couple times when my pills were supposed to be on "auto order" but for some reason they didn't get ordered and I went a couple days without. I said if I get 30 days worth of meds, why are you waiting until day 30 to order the pills anyways??? The way they had it set up, it left gaps in between the months, and they acted like it's no big deal. I only continue to go there because they're the only ones in this neighborhood who honor my $30 discount card. Without it, the meds would be over $400!

 

I'll be glad when I never have to deal with any of this nonsense again.

 

At least I got a 12 month script. That should be enough to see me to the end of my reductions.

[baroquep]

Hi BuggedOut, Don't want to scare you as it looks like you have done very well with your taper so far and have been very sensible, with long holds, etc.  What I do want to do is forewarn you that Effexor can truly be a beast if you play around with the doses.  Noticed that you have reduced (due to circumstances with your refill) more than 15% and would advise you to be very careful.  Because we are all very different, I hesitated to even comment, but based on my experience with my last two tapers, I just wanted to say to be careful.  I tried to speed up the holds to three weeks instead of four and reduced 0.3% more than 10% and it went south on me before I recognized the warning signs.  It has added an additional three months to my tapering schedule because I wasn't more careful.  I've learned my lesson well and won't be messing around with doses or holds so that I can stay on schedule and get this crap out of my system slowly but surely.   Wishing you continued success getting off this poison. 

[buggedout]

Hi BuggedOut, Don't want to scare you as it looks like you have done very well with your taper so far and have been very sensible, with long holds, etc.  What I do want to do is forewarn you that Effexor can truly be a beast if you play around with the doses.  Noticed that you have reduced (due to circumstances with your refill) more than 15% and would advise you to be very careful.  Because we are all very different, I hesitated to even comment, but based on my experience with my last two tapers, I just wanted to say to be careful.  I tried to speed up the holds to three weeks instead of four and reduced 0.3% more than 10% and it went south on me before I recognized the warning signs.  It has added an additional three months to my tapering schedule because I wasn't more careful.  I've learned my lesson well and won't be messing around with doses or holds so that I can stay on schedule and get this crap out of my system slowly but surely.   Wishing you continued success getting off this poison. 

 

Hi baroquep,

 

Thanks for your post. I appreciate you sharing, and I will check out your thread.

 

I have to admit that when I went to bed last night, I was a little worried... I knew that I would wake up and either feel so bad that I regretted my decision, or I would feel OK. It turns out, I actually feel better than I did yesterday. My stomach is a little queasy, (a normal reduction symptom for me), but it's not bad at all. My headache is almost gone.

 

Surprisingly I had no insomnia, but my sleep felt very heavy, and in the middle of the night I started to think things might get worse for me. But by the time I woke up in the morning, the feeling had past.

 

I'm glad it's gone well so far. It wasn't an intentional reduction... I just ran out of beads. I didn't want to miss a day, or have three different doses in three days.

 

I think that my strength is that I have always waited an adequate amount of time between reductions. This makes the reductions much easier when I do them.

 

Will I make such a drastic reduction again? Absolutely NOT. And I would not recommend it to anyone. I was lucky, I know my body and it responded well.

 

I will report back again tomorrow with how I'm feeling. If I get worse I will let you know, I am not ashamed to admit I was wrong or whatever if that's the case. It's a learning experience.

 

My next reduction will be 15% however. But I might wait an extra week or so to stabilize on the current dosage.

[buggedout]

Hi all, just an update.

 

To be honest... I've felt better!

 

As I mentioned, my stomach was queasy yesterday. Well it was also my dads retirement dinner. I probably drank more than I should have. I didn't get drunk, but I had quite a few over the span of a few hours, and I had several different types, whiskey, wine, tequila, and vodka. Maybe about 6 or 7 drinks total. Anyways I felt fine when I went to bed.

 

Woke up around 5am, awful nauseous feeling... after about 5 minutes, bolted to the toilet and puked my guts out! After that, I had tremors for about half an hour. It really sucked, but after a few hours I was able to fall back asleep and now I feel better but my stomach is still off.

 

I don't know if it is directly linked to my reduction, but I think it was probably a combination of that with the drinking. I also ate at a Brazilian restaurant which had a variety of different meats. So I did a number on my digestion.

 

I also have a terrible lower back pain. It's really hard to get comfortable. I have scoliosis, but that normally only bugs me if I've been exercising or doing a lot of walking. Not sure what's causing the pain but it's probably the worst. Has me bed ridden today!

 

Crossing my fingers that after a good nights rest I'll be back to normal.

[buggedout]

I have come to the conclusion that the back pain is caused by my stomach/digestion problems. It is significantly better now that some food has passed through my system.

 

Not sure if I have mentioned it before but I do have GERD (self diagnosed) which I have always attributed to my meds. So I am pretty sure that is all tied together.

[buggedout]

One more update from me, then that's it for today.

 

Keep in mind this thread also serves as a journal for me. I look forward to one day looking back at it as a thing of the past.

 

Anyways, I have been discussing it with my husband and I actually decided that I am going to re-instate the 50mg dose tonight.

 

The withdrawal isn't too unbearable, but it's still worse than normal. Obviously because I made such a drastic cut.

 

My worry is that I simply do not know how long it's going to take me to stabilize.

 

I might wake up tomorrow feeling OK. Or I might still feel like crap a week from now.

 

With the 10% reductions, I know exactly what I am in for each time I reduce. I'd like to keep that up.

 

I am pretty sure that by re-instating tonight, I will feel normal again in the morning. At least, no more than a couple days.

 

Then I'll hold for 30 days, and proceed with my 10% cuts. I don't even want to risk 15% anymore. I am done with withdrawal, I really feel like I can't live my life feeling this way. Even if it takes another year, I don't care, it's not worth feeling like this.

[scallywag]

buggedout, you might want to test an dose half-way between where you are and 50 mg, say 42 or 44 mg. In the last month, your CNS (central nervous system) has probably partially adapted to lower doses so increasing all the way back up to 50 *could* cause you problems.  You could try the mid-way dose for 2 weeks first and if you get no relief then try 50.

[buggedout]

buggedout, you might want to test an dose half-way between where you are and 50 mg, say 42 or 44 mg. In the last month, your CNS (central nervous system) has probably partially adapted to lower doses so increasing all the way back up to 50 *could* cause you problems.  You could try the mid-way dose for 2 weeks first and if you get no relief then try 50.

 

Thanks Scallywag. I took some time to consider that... and I believe you are probably right. If I had made a normal 10% cut, I would be at 45mg. So, I think I might just up to 45mg and hold there. At least that way, the last few days of WD wasn't an entire waste.

 

40 minutes until pill time. I don't know if I am looking forward to it, or dreading it!

[buggedout]

Good morning!

 

So I went ahead with the 45mg reinstatement last night.

 

Within about 20 minutes of taking it... I felt this warmth, it was literally as if life had returned to me and I felt like myself again. Though I still went to bed with an upset stomach and kidney pains... by this morning all that stuff was about 90% back to normal. I had pretty bad pressure/headache but it didn't stop me from having a good sleep. This morning we went out for breakfast and once I had my coffee, the headache went away.

 

I feel about how I normally would on the second day of a 10% reduction. Heads a little screwy, I get hot flashes, and I'm quite fatigued, but these symptoms are familiar and overall I am comfortable.

[scallywag]

Glad to hear that you're feeling better with an updose to 45 mg. Would you include the previous decrease to 36 mg and the date you started taking it in your signature?

 

When do symptoms show up for you after a decrease? When do they settle down? If you've got a few minutes to focus on some reading, it would be worth re-reading the first post in the topic about tapering by 10%:

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?.

 

After you've stabilized from this bump in the road, you could consider trying reducing 10% after a 3-week hold instead of the four weeks, maybe trying two 3-week holds followed by a single 4-week hold just to see how your body reacts.

[buggedout]

I will take a look. The symptoms show up already the following morning (pill is taken in evening). Usually mind fogginess and dull headache. The second day is always the worst, but still tolerable. By day 3, I feel 90% better and day 4 completely back to normal. This is standard for me doing 10% reduction after 4 weeks. Though my last reduction brought me nearly 0 symptoms at all.

 

I have considered trying a 3 week hold... but to be honest, I am comfortable and after this past weekend, I will likely just keep up the 4 week holds.

 

Now that I am feeling better, time to logout until the next reduction.

[primekittycat]

I'm so sorry about your experience with cutting. I have thought about doing bigger cuts as I've gotten impatient at times but know that I shouldn't do it. Hope you are back to normal now. Remember you're at 30% of your initial dose now which is awesome. Remember how far you've come. And if you keep going in the way that you've been doing it with your predictable withdrawal symptoms, you'll be successful!

[buggedout]

I'm so sorry about your experience with cutting. I have thought about doing bigger cuts as I've gotten impatient at times but know that I shouldn't do it. Hope you are back to normal now. Remember you're at 30% of your initial dose now which is awesome. Remember how far you've come. And if you keep going in the way that you've been doing it with your predictable withdrawal symptoms, you'll be successful!

 

Thanks PKC.

 

I know I'll get through it. I am beginning to really lose my patience though. Sick of making up my pills, having to remember to take it. It seems small... but after several years, it becomes a huge pain in the butt. I'm sure everyone here can relate.

 

As it turns out... it wasn't withdrawal I was experiencing last month. My ulcer decided to come back the weekend of my cut. I just had too much to drink that week and my body had enough. Actually, there are two ulcers now. That's why I had so much bloating and stomach problems. Once I started to treat them, I started to feel better each day and now they are almost gone again. But still noticeable. They take a long time to heal. It never fully healed the first time around but this time I knew exactly what to do. Aloe vera juice, lots of water, and DGL (licorice root). I was taking pepcid too, but it started to give me other digestive problems which I will not mention, and lower gut pain... so I stopped, then dealt with the pepcid withdrawal for a few days. Nausea, I actually thought I was pregnant and got myself tested lol.

 

This time I plan to eliminate the ulcers before I go too crazy with drinking again. It was primarily red wine, because it's so acidic... that's actually what gave me my first ulcer, that and the acid reflux I get from effexor, plus stress. Anyways, I am able to drink again now but I do it rarely and only have 1-2 a day maximum... and they are watered down a lot. I have cut out red wine altogether, and probably won't touch it for several months.

 

My allergies are off the charts too, constantly light headed. But I'm just used to it now. The Allegra D only keeps me from being stuffed up, and prevents major vertigo spells. Damn Tennessee. I love living here otherwise.

 

All of this is making my hypochondria worse, too. I don't think I have mentioned yet... but I am definitely a bit of a hypochondriac. It's driving me nuts, I know it's stupid.

 

In a few weeks I'll finally be getting my work permit, so I can get a job, I need something to keep me busy instead of obsessing over my health while I sit at home.

 

I was due for an effexor cut a week ago, but decided to hold off because I had such a rough couple of weeks the last time. I am probably going to do it tomorrow, depending on how I feel though.

[primekittycat]

Hey there, it's been a while so hope you're doing well. I wanted to check in and also say that I am super sick of making pills too. Ugh, sometimes the scale does not cooperate and I weigh the same dose like 6 times. Thankfully I can now get 2 doses out of one 37.5mg pill, so I only have to do it every 2 days. I have been trying to make pills on the weekend for the whole week, which seems to help. And actually soon, I'll be able to make 3 doses out of the 37.5mg pill so it will be even better. Stick with it!!

 

I too forget how horrible withdrawal symptoms are until I make a mistake like on 7/11 when I accidentally took 2 doses in one day. I felt horrible for about a week. Need to remember why we're doing this so slow in the first place and how just one slip up (or over-cut) can set us back. Hope your ulcers are all healed -- I too feel like Effexor has messed with my digestive system. I know that 70% of our serotonin receptors are in our gut. This is my only explanation for suddenly becoming lactose intolerant 6 years ago, and then it going away completely this year as I've reduced my dose, and also having GERD. I can't eat meat or anything super acidic close to bedtime, or I'll wake up with nausea and have super acidic vomit (sorry TMI). Tums have become my friend (or just eating more chicken :)) 

[buggedout]

Hey PKC. Thanks for your post, and reminder than I haven't given an update in some time.

 

I did not know that any of our serotonin receptors were in the gut... that makes perfect sense!

 

My ulcers are still there but not very noticable. I am careful never to over eat or over drink alcohol.

 

I haven't done any new reductions.. mainly because we moved and things are much different now lol.

 

My husband took over his old business and we are living in the same town as his kids. I have a job now too since I finally got my work authorization. And since it's full time I just can't make time to reduce. So holding off until my job becomes more routine... it's hard to adjust to working full time after not working for a couple years.

 

Have to say it's been nice to not have to deal with the stress of reductions... though I feel bad about being far behind schedule. Life has just completely taken over. It's good that I keep this thread because one day I will look back on it and see all of the changes I have gone through during this process.

 

Glad to hear that you are making good progress. I will be sure to visit you on your thread... perhaps another day because I am about to go to sleep. Take care

 

 

 

 

 

 

[rapunzel2]

hello buggedout!

 

I just read your introduction, where you said: "I want children in a few years, and I refuse to have this poison in my body during pregnancy.". I'm in the same boat - wanting to get pregnant. Just wanted to say hello, and ask what are your thoughts about pregnancy at the moment?

[buggedout]

Hello all,

 

Figured an update was long over due.

 

My husband and I have been struggling to make ends meet. We are broke and I have basically been supporting us on 13.00/ hour.

 

My job at the pharmacy is very exhausting. The place is dysfunctional in many ways and basically I spend all day getting yelled at by customers because we are short staffed and the other assistants make tons of mistakes (while I'm busting my ass to do a good job) and the one girl is just flat out stupid. These girls give out the wrong medication pretty much regularly, and I am always the poor sucker who the customer comes back to yell at. I work tirelessly to fix mistakes and keep people happy but I get zero recognition, just bitched at by people. Then I come home and things are no better.

 

We live in the basement of our friends house... it's extremely noisy because they let their kids run around in the house and they have zero consideration for mine and my husbands peace and quiet. We're supposed to be in a shared living/shared business situation, only we are trapped in a corner of our basement because the rest of it is filled with their junk and hasn't been renovated as it was promised. My husband goes to work 7 days a week and his "business partner" does nothing while he collects all the profit and does not share with us. He renovates their upstairs and buys new furniture all the time, and now he's talking about making a trip to Japan! He also doesn't reinvest anything into the business so there is no way at all we can make a proper living with it. My husband has to buy materials with my pharmacy money on occasion and then whatever he sells from it goes into his friends pocket. We have tried to get my husbands name on the bank account so he can have some control, but his friend refuses to cooperate, he just lectures him on how they need to keep MY name and his wifes name off of the business because somehow we might screw them over? I don't want my name on anything I just want my husband to have control over his investment/profit and for his friend not to make away with our share like he has for many thousands already. My husband gave up a full time 30.00/hr job for this.

 

It makes me sick to my stomach.

 

My husband and I have almost split up over this nonsense. We have had the nastiest fights you can imagine. I wanted to leave this place a long time ago but my husband insists on staying because his kids live here and he is hopeful things will turn around for the business.

 

His ex doesn't even let him see the kids or talk to them however, completely alienates them from us. That's a whole other topic I don't want to get into.

 

This has all been going on since last summer and it has caused me chronic anxiety, sweating and flushing. Especially at work! I basically want to crawl into a hole and stay there at this point. I've completely lost my sense of who I am, ability to be happy, and ability to control my emotional state.

 

This is easily the worst my anxiety has ever been in my life.

 

There is good news, however.

 

With our tax refund, I was able to start up my own business. I already have everything in place and will open my shop either May 1st or June 1st, just depends when I am ready mentally. I have given my notice at the pharmacy and will not be working there anymore at the end of this month.

 

My husband got his own business license a few weeks ago and has begun to do side projects with his own point of sale terminal, so he can finally collect on projects that he is putting his own personal money and material into.

 

We have been getting along a lot better these days. He is finally becoming annoyed with the things that have annoyed me from early on. He used to tell me I was being negative but now he can see that I was 100% right. Not that it's any consolation but I am glad he finally came around and can see that he's been taken advantage of.

 

I think that we will be able to make it work here but it's going to take some time, by the end of summer we may even be ready to buy a house here or at least move out into our own place.

 

Anyways that's my personal update. It was hard not to write an entire essay, a lot has happened, but that basically sums it up.

 

Next post will be my medication update...

[buggedout]

I have made one minor reduction I think it was about 5% from the 45mg I was on previously.

 

Stayed there for a couple months now with no issues...

 

But last week my ulcer flared up and it caused me to vomit about an hour after taking my dose. I assumed that I had thrown up my pill so I decided to take a second dose.

 

That was a big mistake. Now I am feeling withdrawal from that extra dose and I have the worst headache you can imagine. I feel like I have motion sickness and I have a really hard time focusing on things. Today I couldn't even remember my co-workers name in the moment.

 

Hoping that passes soon, otherwise I guess I'll have to up my dose until I stabilize.

 

The whole thing is very difficult and frustrating especially when I am expected to be at work and deal with all the **** there that I do.

 

Once I am working my own business this summer I can set up a proper reduction schedule again. I'm determined to get off this brain poison.

[Carmie]

Hi bugged out, 

 

Just checking in to see how you’re doing. Sending hugs🤗

[buggedout]

Been almost two years! Time for an update! Brace yourself, this will be a long one.

 

Medication and anxiety update:

 

I am down to about 25 mg? I haven't calculated the actual dose in a long time, I only weigh it, but I've made some progress. I've just been slacking on the reductions, I am at the point where I am so TIRED of dealing with this Effexor... I wish I could just jump off, it's such a pain to weigh these stupid beads every damn day. I also hate ruining my weekends with withdrawal from the weaning, so I procrastinate. Still, progress is somewhat steady.

 

Anxiety is pretty much exactly how it was before I started the Effexor. 2017-2018 was a very difficult time in my life and as mentioned above, anxiety was chronic during that period. It has improved though as I do have overall peace of mind, but I still have social phobia attacks quite regularly. I am constantly experimenting with supplements and tinctures, I have found Lavender capsules to be particularly helpful. But all of the supplement costs add up so I don't always take them. I have about 12 supplements on hand right now, some I take regularly and some as I need them. I will update my signature soon.

 

Life in general:

 

My husband and I finally got out of the nasty situation with his friend. It ended badly, they had a huge falling out. His friend withheld some of our property (jewelry that my husband created, some scrap gold, silver, personal paintings, and also equipment). I was very upset that my husband did not fight for his belongings, I would have sued the *******, but my husband wanted to basically get out of there as quickly and easily as possible and leave it behind us. We still made away with most of our valuables and enough to start over if he ever opens his own business again. But I felt very resentful and hateful and it has taken me a long time to get over. Part of that resentment is at my husband for what he put me though, and how he did not stick up for me until the very end.

 

It is some consolation to know that his friends store never re-opened after my husband left, and his family was actually evicted from the house they were living in just recently.

 

My t-shirt business went well for the few months it was open but ultimately didn't work out because we had to leave the island and get jobs on the mainland.

 

So that brings us up to current. Husband and I have reconciled and our marriage is actually better than it has ever been. I stopped my birth control in November and we are finally trying to get pregnant!

 

He makes decent money again but the cost of living is quite high, so I found a really good flexible job at a Naturopathic doctors office. Everyone is aware of my anxiety and since they deal with these issues with patients regularly, they don't care at all, they like me because I do a good job. I feel appreciated and "safe" with my anxiety here so I really have no complaints.

 

The only down side is that while we have made it work finally here in WA, I find myself REALLY missing TN. I think about going back all the time. My husband has made it clear in the past that he hates TN and we will NEVER GO BACK.

 

However, last week he came to me and said that he wants to ask his former boss for his old job back in TN. There are many reasons for his decision which I won't get into, but I am happy that he's come to this conclusion on his own without my nagging him.

 

We are going there to visit family at Christmas so he is going to drop in and discuss it.

 

It will be very expensive to move our things back there, but I don't care! I would be thrilled if we moved back. Trying not to get my hopes up too high. I should know in a few weeks if it will be happening.

 

[buggedout]

Hi everyone.

 

I have calculated my current dose, actually the new one I am starting tonight and it is 25.2mg. Yay! I might try jumping off at 15mg... but I have a feeling it won't be realistic until 5mg. Since I tend to get all of my withdrawal symptoms immediately, I am going to make an attempt at 15mg, stick it out for a few weeks and if it doesn't improve then I will simply wait until 5mg to try again.

 

My supplement situation has changed drastically. I got a little carried away because I get a really good discount where I work... however, I have started ensuring that I get all my nutrients through food. The only supplements I am presently taking are my multivitamin and vitamin D. I do have deproloft that I use during weans (or if I forget to take my pill and am waiting for the next dose). I also have some vitamin C on backup and have been tracking my daily intake.

 

These changes stem from me starting the Keto diet. I am trying to get healthy overall and finally lose the weight that I have steadily been gaining the last 5 years. I have lost 10lbs of fat so far. I do 21 days of keto and then 7 of regular eating -- basically what I want, pizza, alcohol lol. (That is the week I take my Vitamin C supplement). Anyways, I have completed one full round and am now on day 5 of my second round of 21 days. I plan to do about 6 rounds or until I reach my goal weight.

 

Personal life is going well. Husband and I are happy. Still trying to get pregnant, I guess at 33 and after being on the pill for so many years, it will take longer than I had hoped.

 

I am now going to update my signature with my current dose and supplements.

[Altostrata]

Good to hear from you, bugged.

 

Congratulations on getting down to 25.2mg. How are you tapering, at what rate? Are you taking beads out?

 

Please do NOT consider jumping off at 15mg and experimenting with withdrawal syndrome. Every time your nervous system gets a bruise, it becomes more sensitive. It could get harder and harder for you to taper. Reinstatement may not work.

 

A multivitamin usually isn't necessary. Vitamin D3 is good. Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

 

[buggedout]

On 4/10/2020 at 12:12 PM, Altostrata said:

Good to hear from you, bugged.

 

Congratulations on getting down to 25.2mg. How are you tapering, at what rate? Are you taking beads out?

 

Please do NOT consider jumping off at 15mg and experimenting with withdrawal syndrome. Every time your nervous system gets a bruise, it becomes more sensitive. It could get harder and harder for you to taper. Reinstatement may not work.

 

A multivitamin usually isn't necessary. Vitamin D3 is good. Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

 

 

Thanks Alto! Sorry for my late reply to your message. Thanks for the links.

 

I completely forgot to include it but I do have a liquid fish oil supplement by Barleans. I forget to take it a lot but usually 2 - 3 times weekly. I have to remember to take it every day with my other supplements! The multi I have been using for almost 10 years. I am not sure if I actually need it. There are times I get a lot of nutrition from my diet and then other times when my diet isn't so good. So I've just kept it up. It isn't too expensive. It helps my anxiety just knowing that I take it even if it isn't entirely necessary.

 

I was taking a magnesium for a brief period because my doctor recommended it for my muscle cramps. Honestly I didn't really notice any difference with anything. Presently I eat a diet that is high in magnesium among other electrolytes (and I am aware that too many electrolytes can cause issues so I try to be careful not to go overboard).

 

I won't jump off at 15mg. I was just getting eager, but you are right, that is not a good idea at all. 

 

I take the beads out and weigh them on my scale. I do 10% cuts each time. I try to do it monthly but my anxiety has been so bad lately that I have been procrastinating with the cuts. I plan to do another one next week if I am feeling well.

 

 

 

 

Lately I have been having malaise and sleeping issues. Minor light headedness during the day time as well but I've been experiencing that for years now and it is likely allergies and a combination of things so I've just learned to live with it.

 

I did make a post in the symptom category outline what I have been experiencing lately for anyone that is interested.

[buggedout]

I've also cut out the Vitamin C supplement because I've learned how easy it is to get it in my diet. 

 

I got a ninja blender and have been eating smoothies every day that are packed with spinach. I am hoping that after a few weeks of this I will feel great again.

[Altostrata]

Is your anxiety situational? This is an anxious time for many of us.

[buggedout]

1 minute ago, Altostrata said:

Is your anxiety situational? This is an anxious time for many of us.

 

It could be but I am not sure. I was extremely anxious when the shut down started but after a couple weeks I got used to it. I feel happy with where my life is, despite the uncertainty of some things. I feel like my brain and body are making a bigger deal out of things that I can recognize are not a big deal at all.

 

For example, if I have a customer at work who is rude to me. I really don't care, but for some reason by body reacts in fight or flight mode, I get shaky and lose my concentration. I don't understand why I can't control my emotions even though in the moment I know it is completely irrational and I am truly not even bothered by the persons behavior.

 

I feel like a lot of my anxiety is carried over and lingers. If I have a rough sleep with panic attacks, I can't just forget about it after I calm down. I am left feeling terrible for several hours or even days. It's as if I have completely lost control over my mind. 

[Altostrata]

That sounds like because of withdrawal, your nervous system has become hypersensitive to any stress. I would stop tapering for now. Do what you can to relax at home. See

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety