success Darwin: teenager's story on Zoloft for OCD

[Darwin]

 

Darwin's Success Story

 

Before i begin i'd like to introduce myself.

My names Darwin I'm a really easy person to talk to;very sociable when not in a withdrawal induced mind, open minded about various topics,I'm a dancer,and I love learning new things.

Early 2013

I began experiencing very obsessive thoughts about small small things. at the time i didn't understand where this was coming from so with the intuition i had then i took action on trying my best at solving these "things" but it eventually led to more anxiety and despair. My mom took notice of this because i was skipping school and having trouble coping with my symptoms. One thing led to another and i was prescribed prozac in which initially i DID NOT want to be prescribed for because i did not like the fact that i had to take meds it made me feel sick and un-normal. I was eventually pushed to try it and take it because of my physician and parents; I was very naive about the causes of antidepressants at the time not one bit did i try to question it. Prozac did not help with my symptoms but only numbed me to the point of personality loss. I Should mention that during this time period i had weekly use of marijuana from peers which may or may not have triggered my sickness. Diet could have played a role also.

 

Summer 2013-Summer 2014

I started to take Lexapro it had the same effects as prozac only this time not so much more profound(maybe due to dependency from prozac)

I continued use into my second year of highschool in which i struggled very badly through relationships and academics. I even remember one time in class where i sat beside a female that i had attraction for tell me that my handwriting looked like i was struggling to write!. I was having thoughts of suicide in the school area. it was terrible my anxiety was past 100. I had lots of my sexual experiences during the beginning of 2014 but felt as if 
there was a missing touch/connection with the person. It then led to separating but because of the mood numbing during that time i had no feelings toward my partner and i separating. I failed with relationships countless of times during this time period with females, acquaintances,friends and family. 

September 2014

At this time i was prescribed Zoloft  and vyvanse for Focus.

i had a terrible time during the first 2 weeks but then i suddenly felt a little bit brighter as the weeks would progress the 75-90% of my OCD and depression disappeared for quite some time.  

 

October/winter 2014- early  2015

I began experimenting with LSD commonly known as acid. I would say that my first experience was what opened me to many many things. I went from being an overly pessimistic person to optimistic within one week. I also began taking more of a spiritual approach with my sickness and was more and more interested with knowledge and learning new things from day to day. I noticed that taking that Lsd with the zoloft really alleviated that remaining 10% of OCD. I also found that meditating for at least 20mins a day helped me become more mindful and less obsessive.

 

I had this going for about 2 months until i met with my psychiatrist in December in which she  upped my dosage of vyvanse 
which did not work i became very fatigue compared to my original energetic self within one day of usage. During the appointment I had spoken with her and wanted off the zoloft in which she declined because of the thought of me still being sick. Her being the doctor my parents agreed.
Still at this time i was still ill informed about the whole psychiatry thing.I eventually Quit with my psychiatrist  and therapist i was with because i felt that everything they had been telling me were all lies and not genuine.. We would waste time during our appointment together about USELESS things to pass the time it was LUDICROUS. I had a time where my therapist tried to brainwash me with TOXIC chemicals in LSD when it has been proven through science that it's completely neurotoxic!

 

February 2015

I met a new psychiatrist that prescribed me Effexor and olanzapine i took for 2 weeks then stupidly went C/T because of increasing knowledge on A/D I knew it wasn't correct to go C/T but i was confident in myself not thinking about my past use on anti depressants i thought symptoms where going to dissipate with one month. but it didn't i then took half of what i took before and instantly felt better. the very next morning my mom gave me zoloft 100mg with her worried self which led me to become REALLY irritable with strange head pressure and became violent started punching walls. My parents called 911 where officers came to my home where i spoke to them about my reaction with this drug. I was put into the ER for basically the whole day and transferred to a behavioral center.

April 2015

At the behavioral center i basically became a guinea pig to my psychiatrist switching from effexor,zoloft,wellbutrin,olanzapine, within 4 days.
my first day was actually fine was hopeful that i'd benefit from the place. Until the drugs started catching up to me and i experienced immediate
withdrawal. I was on zoloft 50mg most of the time. i had very little energy but big appetite from the olanzapine. i was constipated and had brain fog it was really bad.Although i did meet some interesting people, i was upset because i wasn't myself!! i felt as if i was the only person experiencing this at the ward because everybody else there was already drugged up or where beginning to be drugged. 
I continued with zoloft 50mg for 2 weeks then reducing to 25 the next two weeks. I was too afraid to continue the drugs and i was too messed up at the time to try and do a slow taper i felt that i would struggle even more!. At this time i didn't know what i was withdrawing from anymore the effexor,vyvanse or zoloft so i decided to completely get off all drugs since summer was about to begin within a month.

May-July 2015

Since then I have failed basically half that school year attending approx 4-5 months within the 9month.  I was at a good school too.. with college courses in high school for free; very unfortunate. My intelligence/EQ has severely dropped. I was opted out of school due to feeling of being violent to myself/others from Zoloft and mood swings. All the things you can expect from A/D withdrawal. 

Thank you for Reading.

 

Edited September 6, 2020 by ChessieCat
added link to success story

[Lexy]

Hi Darwin

Welcome, there will be others who can advise you on reinstating and tapering.

You were placed on ads so young and then switched to different Meds. My guess you have had side effects, and wds from these Meds at such an early age. You sound very knowledgeable and mature for your age.

You are right to question these drugs in the first place. Peace and hugs!

[Addax]

Hi Darwin. Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants. You really have been through a medication roller coaster. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all that.

 

With the number of meds and switching and everything it's no wonder you're not feeling well. It will likely take some time for your nervous system to calm down and for you to feel better, but it will happen. You're young (as is your brain) and you were taking these meds for a relatively short time, so you have that in your favor. I highly doubt your IQ has changed, and I'm sure your just as intelligent as you were prior to this experience. That's not to say that the brain fog didn't interfere with your learning or your cognitive functioning in some way, but it's temporary.

 

You mentioned that you're experiencing "all the thing you can expect from A/D withdrawal" so it sounds like you've done some reading on the topic already.

 

It's going to be important for you to stay away from any drugs and alcohol as they will only further destabilize your already upset nervous system. Reducing stress is also incredibly important during this time. I like to recommend meditation and/or yoga as part of stress reduction. Dancing might work too!

 

What are your current symptoms?

 

Please look through the other threads, there's a lot of good information. If you have questions or concerns don't hesitate to "voice" them.

 

Also, this thread will serve as your journal where you can write about you, your experiences, struggles, progress, and also ask questions pertaining to your recovery.

 

Glad you found this site, Darwin!

[degen12]

I think it will be important to try and educate your mother and other people close to you about what you're going through. I'm glad you have all of the resources available on this site, and that you sought to educate yourself. That in itself is proof of your intelligence. (You seem worried about it)

[Darwin]

update

 

october 2015

 

had my first window last week. lasted for about 3 days then came back two days later. .

also i've noticed i've been getting more sleep lately about 12 hours per night.

I don't seem to stay up late anymore.

This was all after my ayahuasca experience on the 5th of october.

[Purplestars22]

Hello Darwin good update and that is great that you had reoccurring windows.

[Altostrata]

Hi, Darwin.

 

Great! Sounds like you're on your way.

 

Please do us a favor: Don't try any more drug experiments for a good long while. They could set you back.

[Darwin]

thanks ,but the risk factor of the drugs I'm experimenting with are little to none. they would be more helpful than bad if used correctly and responsibly. 

[dalsaan]

You are always free to do what you want - as we all are.    However, you have stated you are struggling with withdrawal symptoms and our input is intended to contribute to your wellbeing and recovery. 

 

Dalsaan

[Darwin]

*topic moved from symptoms forum

 

vyvanse for focus

 

i kind of need to do my schoolwork for my last year of school. i'm getting homeschooled atm. & so far i have not done any work since the beginning of the school year bcos of my withdrawal symptoms. i'm about to be 7months off when nobember starts. bcos of my lack of work i have been getting truancy in which i have to go to court for & i can't simply just say i'm sick because i'm pretty sure they'll just throw me to a psych ward again & tell me i have an underlying illness.
i'm not able to drop out i think.. that would be my first choice but having talked to my councelor she told me i can't make that decision till im 18. my question is would my old focus meds help me or worsen my condition? any thoughts

Edited November 14, 2015 by Petunia
added title and note

[Altostrata]

Vyvanse and the other drugs prescribed for ADD are amphetamine analogs.

 

Amphetamine has always been effective for "focus."

 

Common side effects of the amphetamine analogs are sleep disturbance and nervousness.

 

We don't recommend experimenting with prescription drugs for this purpose. We cannot recommend any drugs at all.

[Darwin]

November 2015: symptoms seem to be flaring up again; most predominantly head pressure,anxiety,depression,insomnia,fatigue,ocd.. october had to have been my best month less depressed/anxious,more sleep, more energy & i believe the ayahuasca had great influence. i don't condone the use of these substances this information is for educational purposes only.

[JanCarol]

Perhaps your November flare up was linked to the Vyvanse, which is very stimulating.

 

Please give your nervous system a rest. 

 

It's easy to think "I'm exceptional, this doesn't apply to me."  I know, I thought it, as I experimented recreationally, always in search of the next "peak experience." 

 

Only to find out that years of depression awaited as the result of my experiments.  There are other factors too - but "safe and responsible" for a man of your age who is in withdrawal - is abstension.  

 

I hope you don't have to learn this the hard way, like I did.  

 

And - I hope you are feeling better.

[Darwin]

Perhaps your November flare up was linked to the Vyvanse, which is very stimulating.

 

Please give your nervous system a rest. 

 

It's easy to think "I'm exceptional, this doesn't apply to me."  I know, I thought it, as I experimented recreationally, always in search of the next "peak experience." 

 

Only to find out that years of depression awaited as the result of my experiments.  There are other factors too - but "safe and responsible" for a man of your age who is in withdrawal - is abstension.  

 

I hope you don't have to learn this the hard way, like I did.  

 

And - I hope you are feeling better.

hi i never took vyvanse. I've separated myself completely from anything pharmaceutical related. never again

[Altostrata]

How are you doing now, Darwin?

[Darwin]

Hi Alto, I have been doing very well. Although I think i have been setback from a visit to the Chiropractor(my 1st time) They had adjusted my neck & hips without my knowledge and ever since I've had symptoms that flared up from being very minor(depression little to non prior to chiro,Anxiety little to none as well b4 chiro,brain fog was almost gone,energy levels were okay not bad. but not the best); All these symptoms have gone back, as if i were 2 months out of withdrawal again. This was about a month back where i would exercise  daily & had a job to no exercise now/no job because of the pain I'm experiencing on my neck & hips. A few setbacks but it's okay. Also had No changes in diet. 
 

[Petunia]

Its good to hear you are doing well in general Darwin. The occasional setback (wave) as in wave of symptoms after feeling better for a while is quite normal for this recovery process. It will pass and I'm sure you will be feeling better again soon.

[Darwin]

feeling lonely.. very lonely missing the old days.. constant dreams about my past relationships and school; that has been happening frequently for a couple of months to half a year now.

[Altostrata]

Hi, Darwin. How are you doing now? Since you last checked in more than a year ago, what kind of progress have you seen?

[ChessieCat]

 

Darwin's Success Story

 

 

 

 

Edited September 6, 2020 by ChessieCat