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#1 servadei

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Posted 21 July 2015 - 11:39 AM

First, I'd like to say I choose this site because people seem really nice and non-judgemental (hope I won't see 'your dose is too small, you've been on antidepressants only for a year etc.)
I decided to share my story, not to ask for pity, but to maybe get better tips.
So in summary:
-since childhood I've always been a bit of deep thinker, though I've never had problems making friends etc. So i would say i had happy childhood, with no big traumatic events
-when I was 12 my mother died (she had cancer)
-at that time I was stepping into the puberty and as my dad was drinking and my brothers went to college, I was left alone and maybe with too much freedom. My mother was strict but caring and full of love so I often wonder if I would end up like this i she was still alive
-I smoked weed a couple of times and drank every weekend, also took my dads normabel when he yelled at me or something
-my dad is now alchol free, and he even stopped smoking, but he used to beat me...well not much but still enough to leanight
me emotional scars I guess. I thought it did not bother me until recently when I talked with a psychologist ad started crying, so I guess I kept it buried? (she also told me to report him but I assure you it's not that bad, also, I really love my dad, he supports me...everyone has flaws, and it's not my dads fault he went to war and has a mild ptsd)
-at that time I could not rely on my dad, my brothers were everything...till the day the train hit our car and they both ended in hospital, one of them almost died. We were never sentimental or emotional around each other (kind of a family thing) but I cried all night thinking I would loose them. I found about the accident through internet article my friend sent me, and I had to wake up my dad who was very drunk that night
-so all in all I was a confused teenager but i didn't had problems until summer 2013
-I was diagnosed in Jan 2014 with phoboc-anxiety disorder and put on meds (Escitalon-escitalopram-10 mg)
-Currently coming off of them and going through withdrawal (it's my 12th day without them)
This is all for now. I have a lot of questions but I'll take it slow.
P.S. for my fellow christians, my fate helped me a great deal (it's the reason I didn't break down), so tips and prayers are very welcomed.


Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#2 servadei

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Posted 21 July 2015 - 11:41 AM

still enough to leanight
me ***leave me with

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#3 brassmonkey

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Posted 21 July 2015 - 11:50 AM

Hi servadei-- welcome to the group.  It sounds like you have had to overcome a rather rough time of it.  One thing we need to know is how did you come off of the Escitalon.  Did you taper and how or did you just stop taking it?


20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mg it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking


#4 servadei

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Posted 21 July 2015 - 12:07 PM

Yes, okay. I started tapering off in second half of June. I took half a tablet every 3 days, and then 1/4 also every 3 days. Last time I took that 1/4 was 9th of July. I had mild withdrawal symptoms but I also experienced same symptoms I had when I started using them so I decided to stop. I have more severe withdrawal symptoms now.

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#5 oskcajga

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Posted 21 July 2015 - 12:59 PM

First, I'd like to say I choose this site because people seem really nice and non-judgemental (hope I won't see 'your dose is too small, you've been on antidepressants only for a year etc.)
I decided to share my story, not to ask for pity, but to maybe get better tips.
So in summary:
-since childhood I've always been a bit of deep thinker, though I've never had problems making friends etc. So i would say i had happy childhood, with no big traumatic events
-when I was 12 my mother died (she had cancer)
-at that time I was stepping into the puberty and as my dad was drinking and my brothers went to college, I was left alone and maybe with too much freedom. My mother was strict but caring and full of love so I often wonder if I would end up like this i she was still alive
-I smoked weed a couple of times and drank every weekend, also took my dads normabel when he yelled at me or something
-my dad is now alchol free, and he even stopped smoking, but he used to beat me...well not much but still enough to leanight
me emotional scars I guess. I thought it did not bother me until recently when I talked with a psychologist ad started crying, so I guess I kept it buried? (she also told me to report him but I assure you it's not that bad, also, I really love my dad, he supports me...everyone has flaws, and it's not my dads fault he went to war and has a mild ptsd)
-at that time I could not rely on my dad, my brothers were everything...till the day the train hit our car and they both ended in hospital, one of them almost died. We were never sentimental or emotional around each other (kind of a family thing) but I cried all night thinking I would loose them. I found about the accident through internet article my friend sent me, and I had to wake up my dad who was very drunk that night
-so all in all I was a confused teenager but i didn't had problems until summer 2013
-I was diagnosed in Jan 2014 with phoboc-anxiety disorder and put on meds (Escitalon-escitalopram-10 mg)
-Currently coming off of them and going through withdrawal (it's my 12th day without them)
This is all for now. I have a lot of questions but I'll take it slow.
P.S. for my fellow christians, my fate helped me a great deal (it's the reason I didn't break down), so tips and prayers are very welcomed.

 

Unfortunately, your dose is too small, you've been on antidepressants only for a year.  Just kidding :P !  Welcome to the site. 

 

In all honesty, it sounds like your taper was not done "correctly" in the sense that it was very fast, and not taken every day.  This is a very common mistake, and you are very very wise to come to this website to seek advice!  I think that the administrators of this website may recommend that you attempt a small reinstatment of the medication to see if that's helpful.  It hasn't been too long since your last dose, so the likelihood of an adverse reaction upon reinstatement is small - so that should help relieve your symptoms.  Perhaps a reinstatement of 1/4 of a pill and then wait a couple of weeks and see how you feel.

 

I too have had numerous "challenges" in life as you describe from your childhood through adolescence.  You're not alone.

 

Keep in touch and let us know how you feel and what you decide to do after you have had input from the various members here.


8 Words of Wisdom about Adverse Effects and Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal Syndrome:

 

1.  Please do learn about this condition by thoroughly reading 1) Dr. Healy's website and SurvivingAntidepressants.

2.  Please read books like: 1) Anatomy of An Epidemic and 2) Mad in America.

3.  Success Stories do exist.

4.  Please be extremely cautious about reinstatements, recreational drugs, supplements.  Even low doses can complicate matters.

5.  Transfer all financial assets into your own name (hint: relationships end).  Do not spend money wastefully.  Keep your job as long as possible.

6.  Psychiatric drug "withdrawal" and adverse effects are serious neurological reactions to powerful "drugs" - do not take this condition lightly.

7.  These conditions almost never recognized by any medical doctors - hospitalization/appointments can be futile/potentially injurious.

8.  PSSD, anhedonia (no emotions), memory loss, brain zaps, etc are scary - don't worsen them by taking more drugs, supplements, and medications.

 

Stimulant free since September 20th, 2014; SSRI free since September 1st, 2013


#6 servadei

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Posted 21 July 2015 - 01:06 PM

I really don't want to confuse my brain anymore. Nor I don't want to experience symptoms I had when i first took them. :( I would rather just continue like this.
Tbh, I would probably just have placebo effects since I'm scared that every medicine changes my chemical brain structure. I once took xanax for panic attack and it was horrible. I was more scared of how it works and what it does to my brain that i didn't even noticed if it helped or nor. So...yeah.
Anyway, how long do you think this will last? I'm moving in six weeks and altough i don't expect anything I would be glad if the wd symptoms would subside a bit.

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#7 dalsaan

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Posted 21 July 2015 - 03:01 PM

Hi Servadei

Welcome to the site. Sorry you are struggling. I would recommend reinstating a small amount and tapering more slowly. This gives your brain more time to adjust. Your brain is telling you it's not coping well. How long withdrawal might last, no one can say. It might resolve soon or could persist and get worse. That depends on a lot of factors.

What withdrawal symptoms are you having now, have they gotten better, stayed the same or gotten worse over time?

Answering our questions helps us to provide you with support. It's also useful to read up on withdrawal, reinstatement and tapering. Here are some key links. Please read them and come back here to discuss ask questions.

What is withdrawal. http://survivinganti...rawal-syndrome/

About reinstatement. http://survivinganti...rawal-symptoms/

Why taper 10 percent http://survivinganti...y-dosage/page-3

Can I also ask you to fill out your signature with your drug history. Instructions on how to do that are here http://survivinganti...your-signature/

Dalsaan
Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.
Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.
Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.
Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.
Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).
Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

>My intro post is here - http://survivinganti...ic/2250-dalsaan

#8 Altostrata

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Posted 21 July 2015 - 05:10 PM

Welcome, servadei.

 

By "small amount," we mean 1mg-2mg -- a very small amount. This may relieve withdrawal symptoms without causing adverse effects. Then, later, you can taper off by tiny amounts.

 

This topic tells you how to take a very small dose: Tips for tapering off Lexapro (escitalopram)


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

#9 servadei

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Posted 21 July 2015 - 09:56 PM

I get nauseous just by looking at my box of antidepressants. When doc prescribed them she told me I would have to get used to them ans it would be mild symptoms 2 weeks top. I had severe syptoms for 2 monhs. Will never again take them in my life. Now I see I could have solved my problems with CBT, not start drinking something that can mess up my brain later. I have chest pain and tingling in my face, I was thinking to check my heart just for the sake of it, even though I'm 90% sure it's anxiety. Also, since I'm moving to Ireland and their health care is not free, I just might check it while I'm still home. Over the year on antidepressants I learned what are panic attacks so I can now mananage them. Since completely stopping, I had only one and it was't even major. However, I'm much more nervous, like a constant fight or flight response. I have a lot of eye floaters and my head feels like it weighs a ton. I'm just not happy. Thinking positive toughts is very exhausting for me. I have trouble falling asleep but i still manage to sleep through the night. I get so aware of bodily sensations that I have o remind myself it's because I have anxiety. I feel confused and like I'll never be happy again, but when I'm a bit better I try to remind myself this is only temporary. I often get derealization, but I'm kinda used to that symptom. First week without antidepressants was easier, it became harder around day 8 I think. But I want and need to get through this. I go to work every day,I'm actually feeling better working than being at home. I also noticed a couple of pinched nerves in my neck and in the back. Feeling nauseous from time to time but physical symptoms are easier to endure than psychological. Oh and I was much more angry when i stopped, I would snap so easily I cry because of every little thing. That seems better now. I heard omega 3 is really good, so should o take it?

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#10 Petunia

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Posted 22 July 2015 - 12:48 AM

Hi servadei,

If after reading the information we have posted, you have decided not to reinstate, that's fine, everyone has to make their own decision based on what is right for them.

 

You did taper too fast and it sounds like you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms as a result, these could possibly continue for a while, maybe even getting a little worse before they get better, but everyone is different, so its impossible to say.

 

Its good that your anger has subsided now.

 

Here is the link to our symptoms and self care section, you may find some useful ideas to help manage symptoms as you recover.  Especially read the topics pinned at the top.

 

Many people find  fish oil and magnesium helpful, see King of Supplements: Omega 3 Fatty Acids (Fish Oil) and Magnesium, Nature's Calcium Channel Blocker

 

Also, this link will give you an idea of how recovery usually happens:

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Please feel free to write whenever you want, you will find a lot of friendly help and support here.

 

Petunia.


I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

 

My Introduction Thread

 

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

 

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety)

Xanax PRN

Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes animal25.gif

 

Supplements which seem to help:  High doses of Vitamin C, Magnesium, Garlic and Ginger.  Taurine, Vit D3, L-Theanine and Inositol. I'm one of the rare people who react badly to fish oil.

 

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

 

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 


#11 servadei

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Posted 22 July 2015 - 01:05 AM

Thank you for the links. I feel really bad since I have great friends and family and nothing bad is happening in my life...and yet I feel this way...I can't even describe it, it's a mixture of feelings, and that's why it feels weird I guess. It bothers me not being able to describe how I feel.

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#12 servadei

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Posted 22 July 2015 - 01:08 AM

It feels like I'm down in a hole that has no exit. A bit hopeless

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#13 Petunia

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Posted 22 July 2015 - 01:17 AM

Yes, all of these are common in withdrawal, if you spend some time reading through other topics, you will find out that we are all experiencing very similar feelings.

 

See:  What is withdrawal syndrome?


I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

 

My Introduction Thread

 

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

 

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety)

Xanax PRN

Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes animal25.gif

 

Supplements which seem to help:  High doses of Vitamin C, Magnesium, Garlic and Ginger.  Taurine, Vit D3, L-Theanine and Inositol. I'm one of the rare people who react badly to fish oil.

 

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

 

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 


#14 servadei

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Posted 22 July 2015 - 01:47 AM

Tbh, I know all of these, I tried reading some success stories, but they don't seem that succesful... Their withdrawal ended but they still have a lot of symptoms and it took them years to feel like themselves again.It's just bringing me down. :(

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#15 Petunia

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Posted 22 July 2015 - 02:37 AM

I'm sorry servadei, its true, there are no easy, quick solutions for withdrawal syndrome and when people taper too fast or go CT, it can take quite a while before some people start to feel better, this is why we have been encouraging you to reinstate and taper slowly, so you don't have to risk feeling unwell for a length of time.

 

I didn't know any of this information when I stopped taking lexapro too fast and by the time I found this site, it was too late for me to reinstate, I'm still in protracted withdrawal and can't do anything about it now, I wish I'd had the chance to reinstate and taper slowly.

 

But not everyone experiences withdrawal for a long time, you may be lucky and start to feel better soon.

 

It would be great if you would put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature. Doing this helps people understand your context, it appears below each of your posts. Here are instructions for how to do it:

 

http://survivinganti...your-signature/

 

Here's how to add your signature from a phone or tablet:

 

http://survivinganti...nature/?p=84105


I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

 

My Introduction Thread

 

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

 

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety)

Xanax PRN

Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes animal25.gif

 

Supplements which seem to help:  High doses of Vitamin C, Magnesium, Garlic and Ginger.  Taurine, Vit D3, L-Theanine and Inositol. I'm one of the rare people who react badly to fish oil.

 

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

 

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 


#16 LucaDiProspero

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Posted 22 July 2015 - 02:52 AM

welcome servadei,
I also took escitalopram and, damned me, I did an ultra-fast taper of it, still suffering of hellish symptoms.
But you were on different dosage and for different lenght of time, I'm sure your withdrawal journey will be shorter and better than mine.
Lexapro is a black beast!
March 2010/ October 2010:
Sereupin 30mg a day, EN 15 drops a day
October 2010/ 1st November 2014:
Cipralex 50mg a day (tapered to 40mg a day in August 2013), EN 15 drops a day (switched to Lexotan 15 drops a day in September 2014)
Started Risperdal 1mg a day on the 1st November 2014.
Stopped Risperdal on the 23 November 2014 because that day, after a short mental crysis, I suddenly lost all my emotions,desires,motivation and they not come back yet.
Stopped Cipralex C/T in December 2014.
Added, tapered and stopped other drugs during the following months (also a voluntary hospitalization in January 2015 for a suicide attempt)...no changes yet.


I'm med free from 3rd December 2015

#17 servadei

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Posted 22 July 2015 - 03:36 AM

Petunia when did you stop? Do you still have syptoms? Also, is it possible to have windows and waves in one day? I see people have windows for couple a days and then days. I feel good maybe for 5 mins in a whole day and the rest of the day is...a wave? XD I wish you all the the. It breaks my heart when people feel that way, but I'm also glad I'm not alone.
Luca, thank you for the welcome! How much did you take? I'm usually sensitive to drugs because of one 'trip' so I guess I would do anything not to feel that anymore and it's been 4 years from that. Brain is really complex, right? Do you still have wd? And are you better? Wish you all the best.

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#18 Petunia

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Posted 23 July 2015 - 06:22 PM

I did a too fast taper off lexapro (escitalopram) at the end of 2010, then I was taking a few other medications on an irregular basis for the next 2 - 3 years. I've been completely drug free for just over 2 years now, but I'm still sick with symptoms daily. But I was on SSRI type drugs for over 13 years, so my situation is different from yours.

 

Yes, its possible to have windows and waves in the same day. Symptoms can fluctuate in any kind of pattern really.


I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

 

My Introduction Thread

 

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

 

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety)

Xanax PRN

Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes animal25.gif

 

Supplements which seem to help:  High doses of Vitamin C, Magnesium, Garlic and Ginger.  Taurine, Vit D3, L-Theanine and Inositol. I'm one of the rare people who react badly to fish oil.

 

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

 

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 


#19 servadei

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Posted 24 July 2015 - 02:23 AM

It's only getting worse. I feel hopeless, nothing makes sense anymore. What's the point? I'm a Catholic but that doesn't help now. I feel like God has forgotten about me. Why am I even alive..

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#20 servadei

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Posted 24 July 2015 - 02:31 AM

It hurts being alive!! :(

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#21 brassmonkey

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Posted 24 July 2015 - 09:30 AM

Servadei--  what you are feeling is one of the more terrorable symptoms of WD.  Remember it is only the drugs talking and not the real you.  This is a very trying thing to get through, but have faith in yourself and you can make it.

 

(((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))


20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mg it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking


#22 servadei

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Posted 24 July 2015 - 10:17 AM

Thank you. I know people here have it even harder I mean I was only one year on 10mg... But still. Never thought it would be this hard. It seems like this will last forever I can't convince myself this is withdrawal and not some permanent damage.

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#23 LucaDiProspero

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Posted 24 July 2015 - 11:14 AM

Luca, thank you for the welcome! How much did you take? I'm usually sensitive to drugs because of one 'trip' so I guess I would do anything not to feel that anymore and it's been 4 years from that. Brain is really complex, right? Do you still have wd? And are you better? Wish you all the best.



Oh, I was in the craziest dosage ever: 50 mg taken for nearly 5 years. I will be this way forever...I have been in wd since last November without a single window yet :(
Doctors know nothing about brain structure but they keep giving us their stupid drugs. Such a shame!

It's only getting worse. I feel hopeless, nothing makes sense anymore. What's the point? I'm a Catholic but that doesn't help now. I feel like God has forgotten about me. Why am I even alive..

I have the same issue plus few more symptoms but this is the worst. I try to do everyday tasks but I have a voice in my head that keep saying to me "Why are you doing this? What's the point in doing anything? All you do is useless" so I stop doing what I'm doing and feel sadness and despair.
And, yes, I'm Catholic too but I can't understand why God doesn't give me a hand!
March 2010/ October 2010:
Sereupin 30mg a day, EN 15 drops a day
October 2010/ 1st November 2014:
Cipralex 50mg a day (tapered to 40mg a day in August 2013), EN 15 drops a day (switched to Lexotan 15 drops a day in September 2014)
Started Risperdal 1mg a day on the 1st November 2014.
Stopped Risperdal on the 23 November 2014 because that day, after a short mental crysis, I suddenly lost all my emotions,desires,motivation and they not come back yet.
Stopped Cipralex C/T in December 2014.
Added, tapered and stopped other drugs during the following months (also a voluntary hospitalization in January 2015 for a suicide attempt)...no changes yet.


I'm med free from 3rd December 2015

#24 servadei

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Posted 25 July 2015 - 03:35 AM

Yeah, It's like everything I believed in suddenly fell into water. I'm really sorry for you... Since last Nov and you don't even feel slight improvement? :(
This is really scaring me, I see you had much higher dosage and you've been on them longer but still... :(

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#25 servadei

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Posted 26 July 2015 - 01:03 AM

I could't update with longer posts because I just felt so sick. I guess I still cannot accept the fact that my life changed so quickly in this 17 days. What started as mild symptoms now turned into surviving everyday. At day 15 I had to quit work (I work at gas station, a seasonal work for young people) because I couldn't bear the sound and light. My brain felt like it was going to burst and then I got an anxiety attack. I have so many eye floaters, never had so many in my life, but that doesn't bother me. I cried nearly everyday since friday last week. I feel desperate, hopeless and I really want to die (I have suicidal thoughts, but I would never do it, I just like to think about pain going away...). I have strange thoughts and derealization. On day 15 i started getting tingling sensation in my left arm. I also had muscle spasm in my left leg. On day 16 I feel demotivated, still desperate and hopeless. When I came home from work I felt a little better but my left leg started to hurt. I was okay until i got home from church. I felt really bad and my leg started hurting even more. I don't have problems with sleep...I only had one mild panic attack when i woke up and nightmare, from wich I quickly recovered from, altogether. Because I have normal dreams it kills me every time I wake up... I feel even more desperate and I constantly ask myself "Will I ever be normal again?" Today I woke up anxious and of course with that awful depressed feeling. My left leg doesn't hurt anymore... But should I be worried I experience tingling and pain only on my left side? Also, I'm moving away (date is 24.8.) to live with my uncle and his family in Ireland, Dublin. I'm scared that this will go on and I won't be able to work there (which is mainly the reason I'm going). There are 4 weeks until then but I'm not expecting to be better until then since most of you here have been suffering from this for years. I know I'm just a kid for you... And I really do admire you people who are going through this for so long? How do you do it? I cry almost everyday.... I also tried thinking positive but a single positive thought made me so exhausted I could sleep for hours. Not to mention that when my anxiety is higher I tend to catastrophize anything...like my leg pain yesterday..I thought I would loose all feelings in my left side of body. Strangely, even m left side of brain hurts more but i know that right hemisphere operates the left side of body. So I hope it's nothing serious. Thanks to anyone who takes time to read this.. Oh and yes, I just remebered. I don't enjoy music like before, in fact I can't even stand it anymore. I also got sick of God and church which is the most important thing to me. If i loose Him I'll loose everything. If anyone has similar experience, please give me some tips :( That is all for now. Today is day 17 of wd.

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#26 servadei

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Posted 26 July 2015 - 06:36 AM

I hope somebody will reply :(

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#27 oskcajga

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Posted 26 July 2015 - 09:47 AM

I could't update with longer posts because I just felt so sick. I guess I still cannot accept the fact that my life changed so quickly in this 17 days. What started as mild symptoms now turned into surviving everyday. At day 15 I had to quit work (I work at gas station, a seasonal work for young people) because I couldn't bear the sound and light. My brain felt like it was going to burst and then I got an anxiety attack. I have so many eye floaters, never had so many in my life, but that doesn't bother me. I cried nearly everyday since friday last week. I feel desperate, hopeless and I really want to die (I have suicidal thoughts, but I would never do it, I just like to think about pain going away...).

 

I have strange thoughts and derealization. On day 15 i started getting tingling sensation in my left arm. I also had muscle spasm in my left leg. On day 16 I feel demotivated, still desperate and hopeless. When I came home from work I felt a little better but my left leg started to hurt. I was okay until i got home from church. I felt really bad and my leg started hurting even more. I don't have problems with sleep...I only had one mild panic attack when i woke up and nightmare, from wich I quickly recovered from, altogether. Because I have normal dreams it kills me every time I wake up... I feel even more desperate and I constantly ask myself "Will I ever be normal again?"

 

Today I woke up anxious and of course with that awful depressed feeling. My left leg doesn't hurt anymore... But should I be worried I experience tingling and pain only on my left side? Also, I'm moving away (date is 24.8.) to live with my uncle and his family in Ireland, Dublin. I'm scared that this will go on and I won't be able to work there (which is mainly the reason I'm going). There are 4 weeks until then but I'm not expecting to be better until then since most of you here have been suffering from this for years. I know I'm just a kid for you... And I really do admire you people who are going through this for so long? How do you do it? I cry almost everyday.... I also tried thinking positive but a single positive thought made me so exhausted I could sleep for hours.

 

Not to mention that when my anxiety is higher I tend to catastrophize anything...like my leg pain yesterday..I thought I would loose all feelings in my left side of body. Strangely, even m left side of brain hurts more but i know that right hemisphere operates the left side of body. So I hope it's nothing serious. Thanks to anyone who takes time to read this.. Oh and yes, I just remebered. I don't enjoy music like before, in fact I can't even stand it anymore. I also got sick of God and church which is the most important thing to me. If i loose Him I'll loose everything. If anyone has similar experience, please give me some tips :( That is all for now. Today is day 17 of wd.

 

I hate to undervalue your experience, but it's only been 17 days.  You're still super early into withdrawal.   In 2 months you could be totally healed.  Just hang in there, this is all the sort of stuff that I experienced as well and I was just as distraught as you are. 


8 Words of Wisdom about Adverse Effects and Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal Syndrome:

 

1.  Please do learn about this condition by thoroughly reading 1) Dr. Healy's website and SurvivingAntidepressants.

2.  Please read books like: 1) Anatomy of An Epidemic and 2) Mad in America.

3.  Success Stories do exist.

4.  Please be extremely cautious about reinstatements, recreational drugs, supplements.  Even low doses can complicate matters.

5.  Transfer all financial assets into your own name (hint: relationships end).  Do not spend money wastefully.  Keep your job as long as possible.

6.  Psychiatric drug "withdrawal" and adverse effects are serious neurological reactions to powerful "drugs" - do not take this condition lightly.

7.  These conditions almost never recognized by any medical doctors - hospitalization/appointments can be futile/potentially injurious.

8.  PSSD, anhedonia (no emotions), memory loss, brain zaps, etc are scary - don't worsen them by taking more drugs, supplements, and medications.

 

Stimulant free since September 20th, 2014; SSRI free since September 1st, 2013


#28 Altostrata

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Posted 26 July 2015 - 03:31 PM

Well, if you want to reduce the withdrawal symptoms, there's a good chance a small reinstatement would help. You would taper off later.
 

Welcome, servadei.
 
By "small amount," we mean 1mg-2mg -- a very small amount. This may relieve withdrawal symptoms without causing adverse effects. Then, later, you can taper off by tiny amounts.
 
This topic tells you how to take a very small dose: Tips for tapering off Lexapro (escitalopram)


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

#29 servadei

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Posted 26 July 2015 - 09:19 PM

I hate to undervalue your experience, but it's only been 17 days. You're still super early into withdrawal. In 2 months you could be totally healed. Just hang in there, this is all the sort of stuff that I experienced as well and I was just as distraught as you are.


2 months?! I wish!! But everybody here takes years. It doesn't help that I have to work or go to college. I don't know how I'm going to make it....


Alto, I will never take those tablets again. I hate them. What if they don't work. I can't risk feeling even more desperate.

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#30 servadei

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Posted 27 July 2015 - 01:53 AM

Is it possible that symptoms just turn around?! I'm so nervous and irritable. I lost my appetite and have a lot more intrusive thoughts than before. I feel like I have so much energy but I'm still tired. I don't know what is worse!! Also something very important... I always had something in my throat, i've had this for a long time. I'm constantly swallowing some kind of fluid. Does anyone know what could that be?

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#31 Altostrata

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Posted 27 July 2015 - 03:42 PM

Post-nasal drip?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

#32 servadei

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Posted 27 July 2015 - 09:20 PM

Yes, but I only get it when I'm nervous/excited

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#33 servadei

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Posted 29 July 2015 - 08:52 AM

I think I'm feeling better, altough I didn't knew it until i read my last post. I still have really weird feelings and thoughts, not sure if this is wd anymore or I'll be like this forever. Apart from piched nerve on the back wich spreads pain to my chest and arm, the reason I can't sleep, I managed to laugh a bit yesterday. My job ends on Friday and I'm happy to have some rest and peace I'm also worried I won't get out of bed. Planning to start CBT self help but I wish I had more energy...

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#34 servadei

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Posted 30 July 2015 - 07:31 AM

Bad again. I'm having very bad derealization with flashbacks of dreams and deja vu feelings. I hate this

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#35 servadei

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Posted 31 July 2015 - 09:13 AM

I can't believe wd can cause this. Derealization, weird feelings, weird thoughts. I can't remeber how i used to think when I was normal. Maybe I'm obssessing too much.

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#36 oskcajga

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Posted 31 July 2015 - 11:37 AM

 

I hate to undervalue your experience, but it's only been 17 days. You're still super early into withdrawal. In 2 months you could be totally healed. Just hang in there, this is all the sort of stuff that I experienced as well and I was just as distraught as you are.


2 months?! I wish!! But everybody here takes years. It doesn't help that I have to work or go to college. I don't know how I'm going to make it....


Alto, I will never take those tablets again. I hate them. What if they don't work. I can't risk feeling even more desperate.

 

 

It's not true that everyone takes years.  The people that stick around here take years, but I've read anecdotal reports from people that have issues for just a couple of months.  The vast majority of people do not go on for years and years and years - we are very few that have that problem.  So wait a couple of months and see how you feel.  I'm confident that by 3-9 months you'll feel MUCH better.

 

Hang in there :)


8 Words of Wisdom about Adverse Effects and Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal Syndrome:

 

1.  Please do learn about this condition by thoroughly reading 1) Dr. Healy's website and SurvivingAntidepressants.

2.  Please read books like: 1) Anatomy of An Epidemic and 2) Mad in America.

3.  Success Stories do exist.

4.  Please be extremely cautious about reinstatements, recreational drugs, supplements.  Even low doses can complicate matters.

5.  Transfer all financial assets into your own name (hint: relationships end).  Do not spend money wastefully.  Keep your job as long as possible.

6.  Psychiatric drug "withdrawal" and adverse effects are serious neurological reactions to powerful "drugs" - do not take this condition lightly.

7.  These conditions almost never recognized by any medical doctors - hospitalization/appointments can be futile/potentially injurious.

8.  PSSD, anhedonia (no emotions), memory loss, brain zaps, etc are scary - don't worsen them by taking more drugs, supplements, and medications.

 

Stimulant free since September 20th, 2014; SSRI free since September 1st, 2013






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