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Share about your windows - a hope filled thread!


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25 replies to this topic

#1 pug

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Posted 29 July 2015 - 03:37 PM

Hello Everyone,

How about a thread where we can share about any windows that we experience. So much of withdrawal and recovery has us intently focused on our suffering and our symptoms we need the hopeful message of those who are experiencing windows.

I will start. I have been in a 3 day window of feeling at least 50% better! I just went through a long, hellacious wave that had me on the ropes and feeling desperate. And then suddenly the light switch was flipped and I feel almost like my old self, and it has given me renewed hope and some reassurance that I am healing. I don't know how long it will last but I am so thankful to have it.

Who's next?

20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months
Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014
Found this forum the last day of 2014
Experiencing Windows and Waves
I know that I will someday be completely healed and healthy




#2 LoveandLight

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Posted 29 July 2015 - 03:42 PM

It feels like forever since my last window but the burden of all self-consciousness lifted and I could just get on with all tasks and not just surviving minute to minute...time seemed to flow, where now it feels stuck or slow.
2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.


Nightmare that could have been avoided!

#3 Mort81

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Posted 30 July 2015 - 07:34 PM

I like the idea of this thread. I have just passed the 11 month mark of WD. I can say I have been feeling more and more mental windows of hope that I will in the near future have a good day. Eventhough physically I am still overwhelmed by symptoms, my mind is becoming more hopeful that one day I will feel good again
Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th Clonazapam. Currently 0.10mg daily. PPI Dexlant 20-30mg for last 29 months currently at 30mg

#4 LoveandLight

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Posted 31 July 2015 - 01:59 AM

Yay! Mort great!
2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.


Nightmare that could have been avoided!

#5 servadei

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Posted 31 July 2015 - 11:31 AM

I'm having one! It's lasting about 3 hours right now... I'm feeling comfortable in my skin, I was laughing with my friends and I have less intrusive thoughts. Also, I have derealization but I don't pay much attention to it. I just got home from work and I'm feeling tired...It's a great feeling, not exhausted from anxiety, my thoughts, dp/dr... Just normal human after work tired. :) Going to enjoy nice meal and tea and I might even take a hot bath! I think everyone here knows how hard it is to take a shower let alone bath. I had problems either being to exhausted to take a shower or not being able to stay under one longer than 10 mins.

Jan2014-July2015 Escitalon (escitalopram) 10mg

10/10/2015- 4 months in withdrawal, coping very hard, praying for a window


#6 pug

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Posted 31 July 2015 - 12:47 PM

Mort and Servadei this is wonderful to hear! LoveandLight I am wishing and hoping my hardest that a window comes your way very very soon, you deserve it!

20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months
Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014
Found this forum the last day of 2014
Experiencing Windows and Waves
I know that I will someday be completely healed and healthy




#7 Steelhead

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Posted 31 July 2015 - 04:36 PM

I recently was driving back home from golfing; its about a 30 minute drive.  The weather here in the mid west has been very nice lately and I had all the windows down in my truck.  I suddenly realized for a very brief 10 minute span that I had almost complete clarity in my thoughts and feelings then the fog in my brain and body slowly returned.  It did not last very long but it was very refreshing for that brief period of time!  It will be 4 years off for me in December of this year and I have only had one other time that I felt this way.  Please don't get me wrong I have progressed significantly over this timespan but these moments of true clarity are very amazing and a glimpse of what will come.


1993 diagnosed with GAD (general anxiety disorder)
Started Xanax (XR) 3-5 yrs??
Switched to Effexor 15 yrs??
Stopped Effexor / Started Xanax as needed never abused
Two weeks cold turkey taper with SSRI bridge
Reinstated SSRI July 2012 for 5 weeks.
Discontinuation Syndrome Bad!!!!!
Drug Free and Struggling!!!

#8 Horns85

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Posted 31 July 2015 - 05:19 PM

Two weeks ago I was driving home from work. It had been a extremely stressful week. I never would have imagined a window.(which is typically when they come)I was about halfway home and a sense of calm came over me. Suddenly all the symptoms that I would consistently worry about, I was no longer worried about. I was able to be happy about the upcoming weekend and the plans with my wife and daughter that evening. About 75% of my symptoms went away that night and the ones that remained, I could have cared less about. It lasted that evening and into Saturday afternoon with Saturday night still being pretty good. Sunday morning was good and all hell came back Sunday afternoon. It did give me hope and that was my longest window to date! More to come for all of us!

Lexapro from October 2012-October 2014

10mg from Oct 2012-Feb 201320mg from Feb 2013-June 201310mg from July 2013-April 2014
Began taper via liquid Lexapro from April 2014-September 2014(Roughly 6 month taper)---0.00 on Oct 1 2014--WD began in December 2014

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reinstated to 10mg - 10mg Tablet October 15, 2015 - Stable by Mid-January, 2016

(Began Taper) 5ml/mg Liquid and 5mg Tablet - March 1, 2016 10mg Total w/ daily 15b Probiotic......4ml/mg Liquid and 5mg Tablet - March 26, 2016 - 9mg Total w/ daily 15b Probiotic....3ml/mg Liquid and 5mg Tablet - May 11, 2016 - 8mg Total w/ daily 15b Probiotic...2ml/mg Liquid and 5mg Tablet - July 5, 2016 - 7mg Total w/ 15b Probiotic ....1ml/mg Liquid and 5mg Tablet - August 26, 2016 - 6mg Total.....5mg Tablet - October 31, 2016 - 4mg.... - March 6, 2017

 


#9 Mort81

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Posted 02 August 2015 - 03:13 AM

Thanks pug and love light. Maybe I need to emotionally feel better first. Than physically, wholeness can happen faster. Rather than just wait for symptoms to go away to feel better.
Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th Clonazapam. Currently 0.10mg daily. PPI Dexlant 20-30mg for last 29 months currently at 30mg

#10 Rockingchaircat

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Posted 21 March 2016 - 12:27 PM

Resurrection.

 

In the last 2.5 weeks I've had 3 windows lasting anywhere from 2 to 4 days (nights) in length. Now for me said 'window' involved not getting that sleep depriving aspect of Cortisol Spikes. Which meant- that during said windows- I had some nice indulgent and darned close to refreshing sleep.

 

It mostly seems to have been a result of my getting rid of my morning coffee- though the supplements added (like omega-3) for example did or does seem to help.  


1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 


#11 Junglechicken

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Posted 22 March 2016 - 07:00 AM

I have learned that I can be in heaven and hell at the same time living through the whole W/D thing.

When I walk in the glorious countryside and listen to the birds singing and see the animals grazing in their fields, the bunnies and the spring flowers in bloom I know I'm in heaven.

Then my W/D mind will kick in and torment me as well as my current physical symptoms. I might also start crying mid-walk at the absurdity of my life which doesn't seem real.

I said a prayer on my walk today.
Feb 2014 -Cipralex/Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms disappeared over a few days. Have been on this dose ever since and am experiencing "windows" and "waves". Nov 15th 2016 Re-started Therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT. Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 4th Jan 2017. Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment starts - anti-Candida diet starts as diagnosis of Systemic Candida.
Plan to re-start taper (liquid Cipralex/Escitalopram)

#12 manymoretodays

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Posted 22 March 2016 - 07:42 AM

Well, I can dream about yard work being fun and having none of the self consciousness mentioned above.

 

While contemplating snowflakes and loving March weather.

 

My last window, I mean real window of length was spurred on by crisis........or so it felt.  Lasted a couple of months, at least.  I can........however............find a few moments now the last couple of days...........precious window moments of peace............it's enough.


Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once?, Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= approx. 1200/day. Magnesium citrate orally,diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C and E.  B12, melatonin 3mcg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=300 mcg. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.

 


#13 Mort81

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Posted 20 April 2016 - 01:03 PM

I had a window a month ago where I thought all the really bad days were over. It was amazing I actually was at piece and wasn't scared anymore. Well a few days later a vigorous massage triggered a massive wave. But im hoping ill get back to that window soon
Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th Clonazapam. Currently 0.10mg daily. PPI Dexlant 20-30mg for last 29 months currently at 30mg

#14 RockSie

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 12:12 PM

So happy for you mort :)
The next window will come! Stay strong!

#15 Junglechicken

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 11:26 PM

I think I'm in a window now and have been for the last 2 weeks (minus all of the hormonal crap that comes having my TOTM).

 

Also, I agree with Mort that improving one's emotional/mental disposition can induce a window as this is what happened to me 2 weeks ago.  

 

Its because of this that I believe in Echart Tohls "Pain Body" teachings - thanks SG and friends.


Feb 2014 -Cipralex/Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms disappeared over a few days. Have been on this dose ever since and am experiencing "windows" and "waves". Nov 15th 2016 Re-started Therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT. Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 4th Jan 2017. Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment starts - anti-Candida diet starts as diagnosis of Systemic Candida.
Plan to re-start taper (liquid Cipralex/Escitalopram)

#16 scottly9999

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Posted 30 April 2016 - 03:43 PM

Hi Guys

This is a GREAT idea, to try and focus on the positives, as opposed to wallowing in the negatives all the time.

 

I've had some nice windows.

Sometimes they last for a while, and feel symptom free.

 

My most recent one was the best though.

While tapering from Lexapro 2mg to 1.8mg - using liquid.

THe bottle was about 4 months old, and although I started to get a few bizarre sensations - I started to - very slightly - feel unmedicated - like the world seemed more real and I felt more connected to it.

Little things, like I cared and enjoyed how the light danced in the back room - as the sun was setting through our palm trees - I remember enjoying that previously (before meds).

Small sense of satisfaction from doing just a small job also.

 

It wasn't as though I was more happy, just felt more real, and felt like emotions were starting to bubble up again.

 

It gave me massive hope that I'll return to normal - once I'm done - and once my nervous system is ready.


2008 (approx) Lexapro 10mg.  2009 attempted cold turkey 5mg for 2 weeks - crash and burn.  2009 back on 10mg.

2012 - pooped out - but didn't know.   2014 - poop-out got worse.  2014 sept 20mg, 2014 oct 15mg, 2014 nov 10mg

2014 dec 7.5mg,  2014 dec 23rd crashed.  Dec 24th 10mg - trying to stabilize

2015 Jan Stabilized as much as thought I would, 2015 Jan 9mg, 2015 Late Feb, 8mg, 2015 late Mar 7mg.  22nd May 6.3mg

2015 small "slide" down to 6mg.  19th June 5mg. 15th Aug 4.5mg - slid down to 4mg.  Sept 20th 3.8mg.

2015 gradual decrease between Oct and Nov 10th to 3mg:  Dec between 3-2mg.  2016 Jan15th 2mg  Feb: 1.8mg, somewhere got to 1.6mg.

2016 Feb 25th crashed!  Not sure if sick or WD, back to 2mg.

2016 During March - gradual decrease to 1.8mg, then 1.5mg.  April 19th 1mg

2016 June 8th 0.8mg   July 1st 0.6mg:  Sept 0.4mg (long hold)

2017 Jan 0.2mg


#17 Mort81

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Posted 30 April 2016 - 08:00 PM

Thanks Rocksie!! I think Ive gotten back to my pre massage form. Doing better ! 


Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th Clonazapam. Currently 0.10mg daily. PPI Dexlant 20-30mg for last 29 months currently at 30mg

#18 Dan998

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Posted 01 May 2016 - 03:39 AM

I notice that hope returns when I'm in a window. I can image a future again. I have a belief that my life will get better and I can start to make plans about how I'm going to get there. 

 

I get more motivation to do things that I've been putting off for ages. I almost get a sense of enjoyment, almost, but not quite.

 

Another noticeable thing about windows is that my eyesight usually becomes clearer, colours seem much more vivid and I can see more fine details than usual.


2001: 20mg paroxetine for anxiety and depression
2003-2014: Switched between 20mg citalopram and 10mg escitalopram with several failed CT's
2015: Jan/ Feb-very fast taper off citalopram; Mar/ Apr-crashed; 23 Apr-reinstated 5mg; 05 May-updosed to 10mg; 15 Jul-started taper; Aug-9.0mg; Sep-8.1mg; Oct-7.6mg; Nov-6.8mg; Dec-6.2mg
2016: Jan-5.7mg; Feb-5.2mg; Mar-5.0mg;  Apr-4.5mg; May-4.05mg; Jun-3.65mg; Jul-3.3mg; Aug-2.95mg; 04Sep-2.65mg; 25Sep-2.4mg; 23Oct-2.15mg; 13Nov-1.95mg; 04Dec-1.75mg; 25Dec-1.55mg.
2017: 08Jan-1.4mg; 22Jan-1.25mg; 12Feb-1.1mg; 26Feb-1.0mg


#19 Mjau

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Posted 01 May 2016 - 11:11 AM

This is a great thread topic!

My last window was yesterday a couple of hours. I had been really tired that day, zombie like. After resting and after having something to eat I suddenly felt better. The fog literally lifted from my head. It is such a wonderful feeling when that happens! It was truly joyful - like being back in life as an active participant.
Today hasn't been as good a day and especially the last two hours I have been quite depressed.
I am glad I found this thread right now in the middle of a wave. I'm feeling a little bit more hopeful again that the window will come back :-)

1997-1999 Citalopram 20 mg

1999-2014 Sertraline 50 mg

2012 Sertraline very quick taper due to side effects. Switched to Wellbutrin 150 mg-300 mg. Reinstated Sertraline 25 mg-50 mg.

2013 Exhaustion. Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sertraline 75 mg-100 mg.

Sept 2014 Found this site. Started tapering. Sertraline 87,5 mg + Wellbutrin 150 mg 

Aug 2015 No more Wellbutrin!! Sertraline 50 mg

2016 Sertraline 35 mg (January) - 33 mg (March 21st) - 32,5 mg (July 11) - 32 mg (July 27)

2017 March 28,2 mg and holding

 


#20 scottly9999

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Posted 03 May 2016 - 05:40 PM

I'm also feeling like I'm just coming into a window.

Had a rotten wave for last few weeks.

This window feels a bit different too - as I'm stabilizing on a much lower dose, I can feel my mind is much clearer and more "connected".

Feeling more contented as opposed to MEH - or nothing.

Had a good sleep last night too - which has obviously helped.

 

It feels like when you're almost drowning in a wave that it's going to be forever - you can't remember what a normal feeling should feel like.  You also seem to remember ONLY the times you've felt lousy.

It's so hard to remember the good times, but you just need to TRUST it will be ok.


2008 (approx) Lexapro 10mg.  2009 attempted cold turkey 5mg for 2 weeks - crash and burn.  2009 back on 10mg.

2012 - pooped out - but didn't know.   2014 - poop-out got worse.  2014 sept 20mg, 2014 oct 15mg, 2014 nov 10mg

2014 dec 7.5mg,  2014 dec 23rd crashed.  Dec 24th 10mg - trying to stabilize

2015 Jan Stabilized as much as thought I would, 2015 Jan 9mg, 2015 Late Feb, 8mg, 2015 late Mar 7mg.  22nd May 6.3mg

2015 small "slide" down to 6mg.  19th June 5mg. 15th Aug 4.5mg - slid down to 4mg.  Sept 20th 3.8mg.

2015 gradual decrease between Oct and Nov 10th to 3mg:  Dec between 3-2mg.  2016 Jan15th 2mg  Feb: 1.8mg, somewhere got to 1.6mg.

2016 Feb 25th crashed!  Not sure if sick or WD, back to 2mg.

2016 During March - gradual decrease to 1.8mg, then 1.5mg.  April 19th 1mg

2016 June 8th 0.8mg   July 1st 0.6mg:  Sept 0.4mg (long hold)

2017 Jan 0.2mg


#21 scottly9999

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Posted 09 May 2016 - 05:02 PM

Hi Guys

 

Currently in a window now - much needed after horrible wave recently.

But each new window I get, I feel even less medicated.

It's only in those windows that I can see how NUMBED I have been for so long on the SSRI's.

Little glimpses of caring about my surroundings and feeling more connected to my body and environment.

and even little bits of feeling CONTENTED!  It's lovely.

HOpe it lasts!


2008 (approx) Lexapro 10mg.  2009 attempted cold turkey 5mg for 2 weeks - crash and burn.  2009 back on 10mg.

2012 - pooped out - but didn't know.   2014 - poop-out got worse.  2014 sept 20mg, 2014 oct 15mg, 2014 nov 10mg

2014 dec 7.5mg,  2014 dec 23rd crashed.  Dec 24th 10mg - trying to stabilize

2015 Jan Stabilized as much as thought I would, 2015 Jan 9mg, 2015 Late Feb, 8mg, 2015 late Mar 7mg.  22nd May 6.3mg

2015 small "slide" down to 6mg.  19th June 5mg. 15th Aug 4.5mg - slid down to 4mg.  Sept 20th 3.8mg.

2015 gradual decrease between Oct and Nov 10th to 3mg:  Dec between 3-2mg.  2016 Jan15th 2mg  Feb: 1.8mg, somewhere got to 1.6mg.

2016 Feb 25th crashed!  Not sure if sick or WD, back to 2mg.

2016 During March - gradual decrease to 1.8mg, then 1.5mg.  April 19th 1mg

2016 June 8th 0.8mg   July 1st 0.6mg:  Sept 0.4mg (long hold)

2017 Jan 0.2mg


#22 tntd

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Posted 08 July 2016 - 12:37 PM

I had a wonderful three day window. I actually wanted to do things and found myself randomly cleaning things, and I don't like to clean!! My mind felt so clear which was nice since I have felt like my memory has been about two seconds long recently.

 

I enjoyed spending time outside with my dog. We played with the water hose wich is her favorite thing to do. She was happy and soaking wet. I was even laughing and completly absorbed in the moment. It was wonderful. 

 

I was able to get out of the house and not feel overstimulated which is a first for me. 


Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

L-theanine 200 mg 3x day, L-glycine 500mg 3x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms and citrate in water as needed.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

Nov 2015 1 mg Clonazepam at bedtime. Was made to reduce Clonazepam to .75 by pdco 03/01/16. Caused withdrawal so was holding. Jun 6 Dr added .25 clonazepam 1-3 times during the day as needed for buproprion withdrawal anxiety. Added .5mg for total of 1.25mg.

Started daily liquid micro taper Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17.

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day.

 


#23 Waiting12

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Posted 08 January 2017 - 02:35 PM

Bumping a good positive thread. I haven't had any symptom free windows yet but I enjoy reading about them for hope.

2011-2015 on Zoloft 50 mg or 100 mg (don't remember dosage) for panic attacks. Dropped to 25 mg for a few months and quit without any major problems until in Feb 2016 started feeling derealization, headaches, dizziness and vision issues. Dr. told me it was stress and to restart Zoloft.

July 2016 tried Zoloft 25 mg (1 dose adverse reaction)
August 2016 tried Paxil 12.5 mg (19 days adverse reaction)
November 2016 tried Celexa 5 mg with Buspar 5 mg (11 days adverse reaction)
December 2016 tried Lamictal 25mg (4 days adverse reaction) Took Ativan 0.25 mg about a dozen times between Nov & Dec.

 

Pharma-Free since 12-13-16.

 


#24 SkyBlue

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 01:59 PM

Hi everyone, 

 

tntd that sounds awesome! 

 

I want to share about some improvements I've seen, in the hopes that it will inspire people: 

 

During my windows, which are getting better and better (so if you're out there reading this and feeling despair, hold on!!!!!)

- I feel clearer than I have in years

- I am way more able to focus

- I am much more able to remember things and "hold" things in my brain, which is very exciting because I didn't even realize it was a problem on SSRIs. I think for a long time I had a low-level "confusion," which I wouldn't even say was confusion-- just a feeling like, for example, at Christmas, not really being 100% clear about who I had bought gifts for, what remained to be done, even looking at a list, I would kind of have this "???" feeling. I wouldn't have called it confusion; I wouldn't have even called it anything because it was just the way I felt. 

 

 


Long story short: After 18 years on Paxil, "tapered" in July 2015 from 20 to 10 to 5 mg in a month, at doctor's advice. = Essentially a cold-turkey.

*Current*: Feb. 2: 0.86 mg. Jan 1:  .88 mg, baby!! …. August 31: Less than 1mg Paxil! ... July 30: 1 mg Paxil! ! ! And 100 mg Zoloft unfortunately!!  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Paxil since 1996--anxiety & depression likely caused by (then-undiagnosed) under-eating / eating disorder. 

Rapid "taper" July 2015 and started Zoloft as a "cross-taper". Feb 2016: Found SA!! As of June 2016: Doing 2% cuts (Brassmonkey Slide!). 

Now: fish oil, magnesium; protein; exercise; healthy fats; acupuncture, meditation, & a new doctor.  I am in recovery from an eating disorder!!!  ***Have you had a sleep study?***    *Feel free to message me if I don't respond to a forum thread.* 


#25 tntd

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Posted 13 January 2017 - 01:28 PM

Skyblue,

 

I'm so happy to hear that your windows are getting better and better. I'm so excited for you. I also have that low level confusion you speak of. Mine comes and goes though so I'm aware of it when I have it, well I think I am anyway  :P

 

I had one window in December. It was only part of the day but it was long enough that I was able to get out, I have agoraphobia and am housebound except during windows, and buy a massage for my husband for Christmas. It was so nice to be out with people and not have any anxiety about it. It felt so good to feel like me. 

 

Wishing wonderful windows to everyone.


Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

L-theanine 200 mg 3x day, L-glycine 500mg 3x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms and citrate in water as needed.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

Nov 2015 1 mg Clonazepam at bedtime. Was made to reduce Clonazepam to .75 by pdco 03/01/16. Caused withdrawal so was holding. Jun 6 Dr added .25 clonazepam 1-3 times during the day as needed for buproprion withdrawal anxiety. Added .5mg for total of 1.25mg.

Started daily liquid micro taper Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17.

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day.

 


#26 SkyBlue

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Posted 13 January 2017 - 05:32 PM

Thank you, and hope you continue to get better too!


Long story short: After 18 years on Paxil, "tapered" in July 2015 from 20 to 10 to 5 mg in a month, at doctor's advice. = Essentially a cold-turkey.

*Current*: Feb. 2: 0.86 mg. Jan 1:  .88 mg, baby!! …. August 31: Less than 1mg Paxil! ... July 30: 1 mg Paxil! ! ! And 100 mg Zoloft unfortunately!!  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Paxil since 1996--anxiety & depression likely caused by (then-undiagnosed) under-eating / eating disorder. 

Rapid "taper" July 2015 and started Zoloft as a "cross-taper". Feb 2016: Found SA!! As of June 2016: Doing 2% cuts (Brassmonkey Slide!). 

Now: fish oil, magnesium; protein; exercise; healthy fats; acupuncture, meditation, & a new doctor.  I am in recovery from an eating disorder!!!  ***Have you had a sleep study?***    *Feel free to message me if I don't respond to a forum thread.*