Jump to content

If you find useful information here, your gift would help keep this site going. Our staff is entirely volunteer.

Photo
* * * * * 1 votes

Neuro emotions


  • Please log in to reply
350 replies to this topic

#325 Morgane

Morgane

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 21 posts
  • LocationTernat - Belgium

Posted 11 August 2016 - 05:02 AM

When JanCarol said the following:  We'd also love to hear any Non Drug Techniques for Coping with Emotional Symptoms you have been using to help you!’, the thought that came to mind was that I had no idea at all because for the past 4 yours it was as if I had been living in a no-man’s-land with hardly feeling anything, if not to say being completely numb.

However, when I read the post where Healing states:  The neuro-emotions include -- neuro-fear neuro-anger neuro-guilt neuro-shame neuro-hurt neuro-regret neuro-self-criticism neuro-grudge-holding ..., I thought: Jesus, I have been living through them all.

 

I often wondered if I had done so many terrible things in my life that I had to live through all of these hellish emotions. I used to either withdraw myself from people or look for company depending on the emotion that became too overempowering. Now, looking back upon them, caused by the meds or not, I learned a lot from them. Crazy as it may sound, I can now empathically understand the terrible things that are going on in this world, what may cause them and how people are driven to so many harmful actions.

 

 

Around the age of 16, we had a school outing and visited a psychiatric ward. While we were being shown around, I felt deeply for the people who were hospitalized. I remember thinking: ‘I truly hope I will never end up here.’  So many years later, I experienced what it is like to be in an open psychiatric ward 4 times after going through two psychoses.

 

About 11 years ago, just before the first psychosis, I knew I wasn’t feeling myself and when my youngest daughter was doing her Holy Communion I prayed to God to give me the strength to overcome (although I didn’t understand at that moment) and lit a candle. He brought two wonderful dogs into my life who, for the past 4 years, have been my strength when I was too weak to leave the house and each time pulled me out to have a walk in Mother Nature who freely gave me of her energy. They also helped me to remember that they needed their daily food and that I needed to eat as well. He surrounded me with the people who all in their own way gave me what I needed to believe in myself, to never give up and to persevere. And He led me to three wonderful books that finally helped me to understand what I had been living through and gave me the answers I had semi-unconsciously been looking for in my life.

 

 

If you would like me to share these books with you, I am very happy to do so. I have two of them on pdf-file. The third book, however, is written in Dutch and there is no English translation. At the end of this book there is such a beautiful passage that I really would like to share with you as well but I will need to ask the publisher for permission if it were to be translated into English.


In August 2012 I was hospitalised after going through a psychosis. I used to wander around in the hospital in order to cope with everything that went on in my mind. At one point I had a complete black-out and the psychiatrist on duty gave me two injections with clopixal 50 mg, dehydrobenzperidol 5 mg and tranxène 50 mg. I was completely off the world for a whole weekend. After I woke up he prescribed me Invega 6 mg which I used to flush through the toilet. After two weeks I could leave the hospital and over a period of about 4 months I felt more and more terrible up to the point where it felt as if my mind was shutting down and I started losing all coordination. At the end of December I finally decided to be hospitalised again and I was given Invega 3 mg and Lorametazepam 2 mg at my own request. I used to break the Lorametazepam in half just to get me through the night. In May 2013 I tried to stop taking the Invega but I couldn’t cope. It wasn’t until July/August 2015 when I felt both physically and mentally strong enough that I decided to taper off the Invega. As recommended on this website I switched from Invega 3 mg to Risperdal 2 ml. I tapered off by 10% every 2 to 3 weeks. Towards the end I tapered off by 10% every other week when only a few drops were left. In April 2016 I took my last drop of Risperdal. In general I didn’t have any problem falling asleep but it was only for 2 to 4 hours. So I took the Lorametazepam ranging from 0,5 to 1 mg to help me sleep the rest of the night. In July I started taking Lavender tincture to replace the Lorametazepam and it worked out fine but I am sad to say that I take the Lorametazepam again when my mind is very overactive.


#326 Help777

Help777

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 189 posts
  • LocationCanada

Posted 11 August 2016 - 06:38 AM

I would love to know which books you are referring to!
Thanks!
<p>2000 effexor xr 112.5mgTried weaning twice over last few years, gave up after emotional turmoilNoticed mood instability over last few years and went to see pdoc.Pdoc diagnosed bpII and suggested I start lithium and 'wean effexor.Sept 2015 added lithium 300mg.Sept 2015 started to wean effexor.Oct 2015 weaned effexor xr to 75 mg. experienced crying bouts and pdoc suggested prozac bridge to assist taper.Oct 2015 added prozac 20 mg to help bridge; continuing with 75mg effexor, 300 lithiumNov 2015 effexor xr down to 37.5mg, continuing prozac 20 mg and lithium 300 mg.Dec 2015 Started counting effexor beads as dose is now smaller than the 37.5mg capsule - at 86 beads, cont prozac 20 mg, lithium 300 mgJan 2016 effexor 66 beads, which is about 20mg. Continuing with prozac 20mg and lithium 300mg. Also, Omega 3Feb 2016 56 beads of effexor xr. Prozac 20 mg. lithium 300mg, also Omega
3March 2016 Effexor-36 beads. Prozac-10 mg. Lithium 300 mg, also Omega 3 and probiotics, gf, no sugar, high fat, protein diet.
April 2016 Effexor 26 beads, Prozac 10 mg, Lithium 300 mg. also, Omega 3 and probiotics. gf, no sugar, high fat, protein diet.<p>
May 12th took last bead of effexor. Will begin to taper prozac 5mg at a very slow rate. Continuing with 300mg Lithium for now.
May 31st took last of prozac. Continuing Lithium 300 mg, estrogen patch 150, magnesium.
June 14th reinstated 1mg Prozac due to intolerable emotional distress. Cont with lithium 300mg, 150 magnesium, re added omega 3, cont estrogen patch. June 15-july 5th had marked improvement of emotional wd symptoms, likely due to the reinstatement. Wave came crashing in around July 5th and intense emotional symptoms returned.
July 15 decreased 50 mg of lithium to see if it improved low heart rate.
July 19th - increased prozac to 1.5mg.
July 22 marked improvement of emotional symptoms...again, likely due to increase of prozac. However sudden agitation developed so decreased back down to 1.25mg prozac. Realizing increasing dose is dangerous because of these adverse effects and also seeing that wave is inevitable regardless of reinstatement.
Continuing 250 lithium, 1.25mg prozac, estrogen.
Oct 31st - continued 250 lithium, 1 mg prozac, estrogen patch. Thinking about retrying omega 3 and magnesium but they made symptoms worse when i tried a few months ago.

#327 Morgane

Morgane

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 21 posts
  • LocationTernat - Belgium

Posted 11 August 2016 - 11:35 AM

I would love to know which books you are referring to!
Thanks!

The two books in English are 'A Gift from Daniel' and 'Ancient Whispers' by Karen Alexander. Years ago, the books used to be free to download on a website they created but I can't find it anymore. So I have them on pdf-file. The first book you can buy because it was also published. The third book in Dutch is 'Nefratete, Priestess in Atlantis' by Joke Bouwsma.


In August 2012 I was hospitalised after going through a psychosis. I used to wander around in the hospital in order to cope with everything that went on in my mind. At one point I had a complete black-out and the psychiatrist on duty gave me two injections with clopixal 50 mg, dehydrobenzperidol 5 mg and tranxène 50 mg. I was completely off the world for a whole weekend. After I woke up he prescribed me Invega 6 mg which I used to flush through the toilet. After two weeks I could leave the hospital and over a period of about 4 months I felt more and more terrible up to the point where it felt as if my mind was shutting down and I started losing all coordination. At the end of December I finally decided to be hospitalised again and I was given Invega 3 mg and Lorametazepam 2 mg at my own request. I used to break the Lorametazepam in half just to get me through the night. In May 2013 I tried to stop taking the Invega but I couldn’t cope. It wasn’t until July/August 2015 when I felt both physically and mentally strong enough that I decided to taper off the Invega. As recommended on this website I switched from Invega 3 mg to Risperdal 2 ml. I tapered off by 10% every 2 to 3 weeks. Towards the end I tapered off by 10% every other week when only a few drops were left. In April 2016 I took my last drop of Risperdal. In general I didn’t have any problem falling asleep but it was only for 2 to 4 hours. So I took the Lorametazepam ranging from 0,5 to 1 mg to help me sleep the rest of the night. In July I started taking Lavender tincture to replace the Lorametazepam and it worked out fine but I am sad to say that I take the Lorametazepam again when my mind is very overactive.


#328 mysterium

mysterium

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 13 posts
  • LocationWisconsin

Posted 16 September 2016 - 02:44 PM

For quite a while in withdrawal, neuro-emotion led me to memories where I embarrassed myself, made a fool or myself, or was rejected. I couldn't shake them, I was reliving them intensely over and over. The feeling of shame and worthlessness was awful. I had to make a determined effort, which wasn't always successful, to distract myself from these memories. I kept reminding myself to forgive myself for my mistakes. Then reliving these memories went away. I'm not having this problem anymore (I hope). I presume that some area of my brain was being stimulated by dysregulated neuro-hormones, and now it's recovered.

 

This is one of the strangest ones to analyze ~  why this happens. Thank you so much for this site, not sure if anyone is still active on here.


29 years on antidepressants 

1988-1990 Norpramine/Prozac/Norpramine

1991-2000 150 Welbrutrin 

2000-2004 10-20 Lexapro added

2004-2015 100 Buproprion & escitalopram oxalate (Lexapro generic)/.5-1.0 alpraolam for sleep

3/9/2015- buproprion dropped by doctor because of tics?

3/16-7/16 escitalopram Oxalate tapering/ .5 -.75mg alprazolam for sleep

9/1 - 9/16 completely off escitalopram

9/17 reinstated escitalopram  (Lexapro generic) 4-5 mg.  also .5 -.75mg alprazolam for sleep.

withdrawl symptoms foggy head, memory loss (also causal) agitation, tic's, anxiety (later afternoon) depression, despair, hopelessness

+supplements=  B-complex, VIt D3, K, Probiotics, Apple Cider Vinegar tabs, Bach rescue remedy, calms forte

 


#329 Morgane

Morgane

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 21 posts
  • LocationTernat - Belgium

Posted 23 September 2016 - 11:19 AM

An extract from 'An Ancient Whisper' by Karen Alexander:

 

“What you call a strong, healthy ego is the result of fulfilling the list of requirements your
social mind dictates to you. When you don’t perform, it turns on you, blames you, and
depreciates you. Then, you suffer from low self-esteem, and you try even harder to do what it
tells you is essential.”
 
“But, I have things I want to do! I don’t think they all come from my social mind.”
 
Maoli spoke up. “Let me see if I can help with an example. It’s common in your culture
for people to base their self-esteem on earning a good living. When they do, they feel very good
about themselves. But what happens if through no fault of their own, they lose their jobs? All
that self-esteem vanishes in an instant. It was based on what the social mind told them was their
proof of value.”
 
“So, you’re saying that the social mind sets us up for disaster by making sure our selfesteem
is based on fulfilling things that are dependent on the world outside of ourselves.”
 
“Exactly. Your sense of self-value should be based on the knowledge that you are a
constantly cherished child of the soul. Whatever you may choose to do with your time on Earth,
your soul never changes in its love for you. You are worthy of its love simply because you exist.
You don’t have to earn its feelings about you, and nothing you can do will alter those feelings.”
 
“So, if we draw our strength and sense of being a good person from the soul, it sounds
like nothing that happens in our life can shake us. We can meet all of our challenges with the
certainty that we are fed by an everlasting love, and a bountiful source of strength and wisdom.”
 
“Right. When you already have strength, and you know in your deepest heart that you are
a beautiful creation of the divine, you can make your decisions about how to spend your time on
the Earth freely. You aren’t constantly trying to prove your worth. You can relax in the
awareness that you already have what you truly need.”

In August 2012 I was hospitalised after going through a psychosis. I used to wander around in the hospital in order to cope with everything that went on in my mind. At one point I had a complete black-out and the psychiatrist on duty gave me two injections with clopixal 50 mg, dehydrobenzperidol 5 mg and tranxène 50 mg. I was completely off the world for a whole weekend. After I woke up he prescribed me Invega 6 mg which I used to flush through the toilet. After two weeks I could leave the hospital and over a period of about 4 months I felt more and more terrible up to the point where it felt as if my mind was shutting down and I started losing all coordination. At the end of December I finally decided to be hospitalised again and I was given Invega 3 mg and Lorametazepam 2 mg at my own request. I used to break the Lorametazepam in half just to get me through the night. In May 2013 I tried to stop taking the Invega but I couldn’t cope. It wasn’t until July/August 2015 when I felt both physically and mentally strong enough that I decided to taper off the Invega. As recommended on this website I switched from Invega 3 mg to Risperdal 2 ml. I tapered off by 10% every 2 to 3 weeks. Towards the end I tapered off by 10% every other week when only a few drops were left. In April 2016 I took my last drop of Risperdal. In general I didn’t have any problem falling asleep but it was only for 2 to 4 hours. So I took the Lorametazepam ranging from 0,5 to 1 mg to help me sleep the rest of the night. In July I started taking Lavender tincture to replace the Lorametazepam and it worked out fine but I am sad to say that I take the Lorametazepam again when my mind is very overactive.


#330 Effeffexor

Effeffexor

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 24 posts
  • LocationKansas

Posted 23 September 2016 - 02:44 PM

For many reasons, our emotions are on a hair-trigger, amplified, and perseverative. We probably don't even know all of what's going on physically yet, but it includes diminished prefrontal lobe executive functions, rebound amygdala, dysregulated HPA, over-active adrenals, etc.

The neuro-emotions include --

neuro-fear
neuro-anger
neuro-guilt
neuro-shame
neuro-hurt
neuro-regret
neuro-self-criticism
neuro-grudge-holding

...and more!

It is very, very confusing to have these intense neuro-emotions and try to remember that they are not what they appear to be. Emotions are compelling. Emotions during recovery from psych meds are even more compelling.

Sometimes, the neuro-emotion is really totally artificial. Some of my neuro-fears have been so unlikely to come to pass as to bear no resemblance to reality or to my personal history.

But, I think a lot of the time, part of what makes it so confusing is that there is a grain of reality to the neuro-emotion. For example, some situation might make you a bit angry under normal circumstances, but the neuro-anger is huge. This is when it's very difficult to 1) catch it in the first place and notice this is a neuro-emotion, 2) convince ourselves, yes, this is really a neuro-emotion, not a real emotion, 3) contain the emotion, try not to act on it, or channel the energy into something safe and constructive -- like exercise or journaling or building a birdhouse. :)

Whenever you're having an intense, disturbing feeling, try to remind yourself that, right now -- even if it does have something to do with reality -- it is largely a neuro-emotion that you wouldn't be feeling if you were fully healed. And you *will* be fully healed. It's happening! Get ready!


Very profound and helpful. Thank you SO much for this. Tell me more? Is this in a book? I need to understand this more.

9/22/16 150mg EffexorXR
side effects [memory probs, idiopathic hypersomnia, rage, irritability, confusion, numbness, nausea, nightsweats, panic attacks]
9/23/16 131.25mg Effexor
10/11/16 112.5 split up in 37.5 mg doses 3xs a day. Still experiencing memory probs, idiopathic hypersomnia, irritability, night sweats, nausea, sound sensitivity.
10/30/16 84.375 divided into three doses. Same side effects

11/20/16 75 mg Effexor XR  

 

stable and resting from tapering.. side effects are down to hypersomnia, memory probs, nausea.


#331 Daisy1

Daisy1

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 106 posts
  • LocationOxfordshire

Posted 25 September 2016 - 04:39 AM

The shame, regret and embarrassment is the worse for me. It should be the least of my worries, but i feel like an embrassement to my family and friends. I have only told 2 of my best friends. I feel so embarrassed telling people I had a reaction to an antidepressent that has left me mentally disabled. I know if someone told this to my former self I would have probably smirked and said 'aren't they suppose to make you happy?' Oh the bloody irony. And yet people who have reactions to antibiotics, head trauma and cancer treatment get sympathy and understanding. The guilt and blame are horriemd too...why did i take them ? Why did i listen to people telling me to go to the docs when all i had was mild anxiety having just moved house. How do we get people to believe these drugs are just as bad or worse than lsd or heroin ?
Started Fluoxetine 40mg In 2010
Switched to citalopram 2011.Fluoxetine made me very drowsy.
Came off citalopram 2014 over 2 weeks tapering as advised by GP. Mild WD symptoms, brain zaps.
Almost 2 years med free, happy and less anxiety.
June 2016 start 20mg citalopram for anxiety, experince akathisa, intrusive harming thoughts, hallucinations, hypermania, negative ruminations, insomnia, no appetite, dioreah, racing thoughts/mind chatter.
Droped to 10mg for 1 week after 10 days on 20mg, then 1 week at 15mg by alternating doses then 1 week at 20mg before dropping to 10mg again for 1 week then 5 days at 5mg. Quick taper due to reaction.
Started .5mg lorozepam/ 2.5mg diazepam every other day from week 2 on cit sometimes daily for about 2 weeks stopped CT as was put on 25mg quetiapine.
Stopped cit 01/8/16. Stopped quetiapine 3/8/16
Taking fish oil

#332 ravijaua

ravijaua

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 173 posts
  • Locationhuntington beach california

Posted 27 September 2016 - 11:08 AM

Neuro Emotions are a huge problem for me and probably the most dangerous thing I have to deal with in withdrawal. I'm trying to figure them out but it is tough.


Update 12232016

Zoloft  2004. Effexor 2004-2006. Paxil 20 mg for 2006-2010. Ct 2010, bad effects back on, stable by 2011.  Poopout June 2015. Added Zoloft 1.2 mg , increased up to 25 mg stable for a while, then stopped.

Sep 2016 paxil 16.2 mg alone(295 mg pill weight). Started tapering 11/14/2016.

Took off 1 mg pill weight(total pill weight of 20 mg = 365 mg and 16 mg is 295 mg). Went down 1 mg per week of pill weight so down to 291 mg by end of November. Starting getting anxiety issues starting since 12/10/2016. Hoping that a faster taper will help.

12/14/2016 - 15.95 mg (291 mg pill weight)

12/16/2016 -  15.83 mg (289 mg pill weight)

12/23/2016 -  15.67 (286 mg pill weight)


#333 Becassine

Becassine

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 14 posts
  • LocationToronto

Posted 04 October 2016 - 05:19 AM

For quite a while in withdrawal, neuro-emotion led me to memories where I embarrassed myself, made a fool or myself, or was rejected. I couldn't shake them, I was reliving them intensely over and over.

The feeling of shame and worthlessness was awful. I had to make a determined effort, which wasn't always successful, to distract myself from these memories. I kept reminding myself to forgive myself for my mistakes.

Then reliving these memories went away. I'm not having this problem anymore (I hope).

I presume that some area of my brain was being stimulated by dysregulated neuro-hormones, and now it's recovered.

Alto strata,
Thank you for this post, I am crying reading it as for the past few years, this is what I seem to be going through almost everyday. It is good to know that it is not truly who I am but just neuro emotions. Wish my doctor would read this forum.
Around 2003 or 2004 fluoxetine for depression. Don't remember dosage. stopped cold turkey because of side effects.
November or December 2009 : cymbalta : for depression, anxiety, OCD and muscles twitches and tingling, tinnitus
Late 2010 : stopped on my own because of side effects.
Early 2011 : symptoms came back : was put on cipralex 10mg in July 2011 then increased to 20mg by 2012.
Early 2014 : cut to 10mg. November 2014 : stopped too fast bc of side effects.
Feb 2015 : worse depression & OCD, anxiety. Body pains. lots of crying spells, suicidal thoughts.
Between February and August 2016 : relied on low dose of klonopin 0.25 mg per day
Since March 2016 : tingling feet, Muscles twitches, sensitivity to noise and smells, tinnitus 24/7, Constant anxiety and depression. July 2016 : fluvox minimal dose : stopped after 4 days (severe headache and nausea)
August 2, 2016 : lyrica for anxiety increased dose to 75 mg morning and 100 mg night.
Sept. 28, 2016 : tapering lyrica : 50 mg morning, 75 mg night.
Also treated for hypothyroidism : levotyroxine 50mcg

#334 RockSie

RockSie

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 57 posts
  • LocationGermany

Posted 13 December 2016 - 02:13 PM

Does anybody knows this intense feeling of doom? I had it today while being in a business meeting and now I have horrible fears going to work again. I really don't know what to do. Any ideas why this is happening?
Thank you.

#335 scallywag

scallywag

    Platinum star

  • Moderators
  • 3,274 posts
  • LocationOntario, Canada

Posted 13 December 2016 - 02:35 PM

Rocksie - the discussions in the following topics may have answers to your questions about the emotion of "doom":

 

Help for feelings of depression, doom and gloom

 

Neuro-Emotions: Deep despair, dread, doom, horror.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
 
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results
Cymbalta (brand name), 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016 20 mg - 7 mg, detailed taper doses in this post;
Current dose:  7.0 mg (65 beads) 2016-Dec-10, holding into February
+ Supplements: fish oil (1500 mg EPA/500 mg DHA), Vitamins: D3, K2, C; Minerals: Mg, Se, Cr, I, V
scallywag's Introduction Post

Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet


#336 AntiDFree

AntiDFree

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 23 posts
  • LocationLexington, VA

Posted 14 December 2016 - 07:16 PM

I have experienced this during WD very intensely. You will move beyond it. It cannot consume you because it emerges from within your consciousness. You are the consciousness, awareness within which the feelings arise. That is a pure space that cannot be harmed- your true nature.
Mark
Stopped Klonazepam .05/twice/day November 2014 after a 2 week taper. Had been using it for twenty years.
Stopped Prozac with a two month taper in June to August of 2015 after being on it for 20 years.
As of November 24, 2016 I am still abstinent. Emotional surges have subsided to only occasional, mild and brief rawness.
The Universe supports you in your effort to become free of your psychmeds and works through your body to bring healing. Sometimes it's very trying and painful, but it is worth the journey through the emotions!!!

#337 Tomash

Tomash

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 19 posts
  • LocationPrague

Posted 16 December 2016 - 02:41 AM

Hello,

 

I am very gratefull for this thread, as I experienced high emotions on my first attempt to withdrawal as described here. I have a question: do anybody have experience, that the withdrawal symptom emerged as a paranoia? I was first medicated 15 years back with toxic psychosis - however, I didnt have any voices, delusions or paranoia, just very strong undecisiveness and stress, and altered states of conciousness caused by MDMA. But last year, first time without meds, I wasnt well prepared and healing, and paranoia emerged as a result of stress, strong anxiety and other fear-related emotions. I am then wondering, how to prepare for such a state of mind- many symptoms I know I have, but I am loosing my pilot when it comes for paranoia.


2001 - diagnosis final: schizophrenic. Antipsychotics and antidepressant, various doses and types. A/Ds for zyprexa compensation

2007 - changing citalec to wellbutrin. New diagnosis: border-line personality

2012 - 5mg of zyprexa and 150 Wellbutrin, adopting ayurveda helped
2015 - gradual tapering off, by skipping days to complete withdrawal; Result: deep depression, psychospiritual emergence/rebound - most hard was paranoia, black perception and insomnia
2016, jan - hospitalized and remedicated, first to 15mg Zyprexa; lowered to 5mg of Zyprexa when discharged. 
2016, july -  quite succesful without antidepresants. 4,5mg Zyprexa.

2016, sept – stress + tantric yoga/magic hazard, hospitalized again, forced treatment: 10 mg Zyprexa and 400mg amisulprid (Amilia).

Current medications and dosages:
7,5mg Zyprexa, 180mg amisulprid. Planning to withdraw to 5mg Zyprexa till spring 2017. Then, when appropriate, full withdrawel, diligently following recovery method

 

Current supplements: fish oil, Vitamin B+, Ayurvedic herbs (morning: Chawanprash, evening: hot milk with "ojas formula" made by Pukka herbs)


#338 Tomash

Tomash

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 19 posts
  • LocationPrague

Posted 16 December 2016 - 02:41 AM

I apologize for my English


2001 - diagnosis final: schizophrenic. Antipsychotics and antidepressant, various doses and types. A/Ds for zyprexa compensation

2007 - changing citalec to wellbutrin. New diagnosis: border-line personality

2012 - 5mg of zyprexa and 150 Wellbutrin, adopting ayurveda helped
2015 - gradual tapering off, by skipping days to complete withdrawal; Result: deep depression, psychospiritual emergence/rebound - most hard was paranoia, black perception and insomnia
2016, jan - hospitalized and remedicated, first to 15mg Zyprexa; lowered to 5mg of Zyprexa when discharged. 
2016, july -  quite succesful without antidepresants. 4,5mg Zyprexa.

2016, sept – stress + tantric yoga/magic hazard, hospitalized again, forced treatment: 10 mg Zyprexa and 400mg amisulprid (Amilia).

Current medications and dosages:
7,5mg Zyprexa, 180mg amisulprid. Planning to withdraw to 5mg Zyprexa till spring 2017. Then, when appropriate, full withdrawel, diligently following recovery method

 

Current supplements: fish oil, Vitamin B+, Ayurvedic herbs (morning: Chawanprash, evening: hot milk with "ojas formula" made by Pukka herbs)


#339 O2bhappy

O2bhappy

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 301 posts
  • LocationUSA

Posted 19 December 2016 - 08:27 AM

How do you deal with constant anger.  It is not a situational anger where someone cuts me off in traffic, this is constant.  I even had a dream last night and I was anger in the dream.  Is this part of withdrawal? 

 

I have tried meditation, deep breathing, changing the channel and nothing has help.

 

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.


Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Constant anger, burning sensation in my head/brain, internal shaking, crying, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, anxiety, depression, and scared feelings.

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.


#340 ChessieCat

ChessieCat

    Platinum star

  • Moderators
  • 2,326 posts
  • LocationSydney Australia

Posted 19 December 2016 - 02:14 PM

Hi O2B, yes it sounds like part of withdrawal.  Here are a couple of links to check out:

 

Irritability, Anger, Rage

 

dealing-with-emotional-spirals


S l o w l y ...... but surely!

 

Antidepressants:  25 years (various: 1 unknown; Prozac muscle weakness; Zoloft; Cipramil CTed - very sick for 2.5 wks soon after)
Pristiq:  50mg mid 2012, 100mg beg 2014 (from April - aches, pains, sweating, jittery, Oct 2015 recognised Serotonin Toxicity)
17 Oct 2015: 50mg (head fog); 1&2 Nov: 100mg (4 hrs "with it"); 3 Nov: 75mg; 30 Dec: 67.5mg; 1 Jan 2016: 70mg (ear pain);

21 Jan: 67.5mg; 4 Feb: 65mg; 19 Feb: 62.5mg; 3 Mar: 60mg; 12 Mar: 57.5mg; 13 Mar: 60mg (ear pain); 24 Mar: 57.5mg; 21 Apr: 55mg; 19 May: 52.5mg; 16 Jun: 50mg tablet; 11 Sep: 47.5mg all caps (5mg old); 25 Sep: 45mg (40+2x2.5); 4 Oct: 45mg (open 2x2.5); 14 Oct: 45mg (open 2.5x2); 21 Oct: 42.5mg (open 2.5); 9 Nov: 41mg (open 1); 25 Nov: 38.5mg (open 2.5); 2 Dec: 37.5mg (5mg old, open 2.5); 26 Dec: 35mg (5mg old open); 6 Jan: 32.5mg (2.5mg open); 7 Jan: 33.5mg (2.5mg open); 15 Jan: 32.5mg (2.5mg open); 20 Jan: 31.5mg (1mg open);

Current:  Pristiq 31mg

My SA Intro topic                           My website


#341 O2bhappy

O2bhappy

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 301 posts
  • LocationUSA

Posted 20 December 2016 - 08:36 AM

ChessieCat -

 

Thank you for sharing the links.  It seems like anger is a common symptom in withdrawal.  Could I assume that the anger will get better over time? 


Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Constant anger, burning sensation in my head/brain, internal shaking, crying, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, anxiety, depression, and scared feelings.

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.


#342 Dez

Dez

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 89 posts
  • LocationAlabama/Florida, USA

Posted 01 January 2017 - 11:40 AM

I've been having suicidal feelings, not really thoughts, and was wondering if it's some other emotion and I'm confused? Like hopelessness? Is this a Neuro emotion too?

Been struggling with it for a few days now and it's very scary. I'd like to find ways to ease the feeling but am unsure of what to do.
- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well)

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

#343 KarenB

KarenB

    Platinum star

  • Moderators
  • 2,085 posts
  • LocationRaglan, New Zealand

Posted 01 January 2017 - 10:40 PM

Any emotion can become compounded by the neuro-emotion factor.  It is scary, and the neuro stuff makes it harder to deal with.  What support do you have around you?  Are there people in your life you trust enough to talk to about this?  Journaling can also be a helpful release.  

 

When I've been in those sorts of feelings, I have kept in close contact with my counselor.  I remember particularly how she helped me to find a place inside myself which was strong, and truly me, and pure and good and hopeful.  She got me to picture this self in my head - colours, shapes, the warmth of it.  I drew it, I wrote about it, and it is an image which has stayed with me.  I often think of it in tricky times, and it helps.  Because it gives a definite and positive thing to focus on - a truth which exists even when we are in the swirl of neuro-emotions and hopelessness and suicide ideation. 

 

Can you focus in and find your own such self?  It's there, it's just easy to forget about when life gets rough.  Start by thinking of a time in your life when you felt confident, strong, happy etc.  Really bring up the details, and all the feelings of that time or occasion.  Then start picturing that self inside you.  What colours do you associate with it?  What shapes or images?  

 

Well, that's one approach.  I hope it brings some relief to you.

 

However if things do escalate to a point where you are not feeling safe, please call a local hotline for help.


2010 May Fluoxetine 20mg. Raging mostly stops, become more functional.
2011 February Escitalopram 10mg (sudden switch). 2012 January Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Early June Feeling great, decide to taper. Doc advises alternate days 20mg/10mg for 4 weeks.  Late June Steady. Drop to 10mg daily. Early July Not coping, raging, flu symptoms, shaky, anxious, low, spaced-out, self-destructive.  Mid July Return to alternate days 20mg/10mg - minimal improvement. Early August Return to full dose 20mg. Lost.
2014 February Switch to Venlafaxine. (First reduced Esc. to 10mg/day for a week) Feb-April Lost, 'light' self-harm, exhausted.
April Increase Ven. to 150mg/day. Dizzy. July 75mg twice a day to improve dizziness. Deep depression remains.  2015 Feb Vigilant dose spacing partially eases dizziness. Mar Switch to Effexor 75mg 2x/day. May Cut 10% to 135mg - bad w/d 2 mths, held 1 mth.  Aug 1.3% cut - bad 1mth, held 1mth. Oct 4 wkly 0.4% cuts held 6 weeks. Jan 2016 2 wkly 0.4% cuts. 8 month hold. Sept Wkly cuts: 0.5%, 3 1% cuts.  Oct 4 wkly 1% cuts, hold 3-4 weeks.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamins E & C, magnesium, iron, MSM, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.  My story of healing: ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor or counselor; please do your own research and be prepared to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.


#344 O2bhappy

O2bhappy

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 301 posts
  • LocationUSA

Posted 03 January 2017 - 10:10 AM

I have noticed over the past several months that I have been very negative.  Could this be a symptom of withdrawal?  Could it be making my anxiety worse?


Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Constant anger, burning sensation in my head/brain, internal shaking, crying, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, anxiety, depression, and scared feelings.

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.


#345 genlady

genlady

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 106 posts
  • LocationGenelle, British Columbia, Canada

Posted 03 January 2017 - 07:12 PM

Is there such a thing as neuro thoughts?

Medications:  Trazodone, Lamotrigine, Klonopin for over 10 years   all at maximum dosages,:Disconcontinued Klonopin in month of February 2011,  discontinued Trazodone and Lamotrigine   in month of March 2011 while in hosptial.  Given Seroquel to "help" go off Klonopin  gradually increased to 600 mg ; doctor took me off 600 mg. Seroquel in two weeks, and switched to Resperidal  because of weight gain on Seroquel, went off Resperidal quickly,   then gradually reinstated  Seroquel to 600 mg. at my request.   Went off Seroquel by myself at 25mg. per month in 2014.     Last medication Seroquel completely off since May 2016. Also went off Morphine at the same time as last 25 mg. of Seroquel in May 2016. Started tapering 40mg. to 35mg. Celexa on 11 Aug. 2016  ; 16 Oct. Celexa 32.5 mg.; 6 Nov. 2016:  30mg.

 

Supplements :Xiao yao San; Magnesium: 500mg. three x   day., Omega 3's: 3,000 mg.

 2 Multi-Vitamin,Vitamin D: 500 mg. 3x day, calcium citrate, potassium.

Medications presently taking:  Celexa 30mg. ., Lyrica 150mg. 2x day  , Synthroid 175mcg, Tylenol//muscle  ,  anarca  ; Nasonex 2 sprays each nostril, once a day    :wub:

  

 


#346 ChessieCat

ChessieCat

    Platinum star

  • Moderators
  • 2,326 posts
  • LocationSydney Australia

Posted 04 January 2017 - 12:27 AM

See this topic:  intrusive-thoughts-and-increased-panic


S l o w l y ...... but surely!

 

Antidepressants:  25 years (various: 1 unknown; Prozac muscle weakness; Zoloft; Cipramil CTed - very sick for 2.5 wks soon after)
Pristiq:  50mg mid 2012, 100mg beg 2014 (from April - aches, pains, sweating, jittery, Oct 2015 recognised Serotonin Toxicity)
17 Oct 2015: 50mg (head fog); 1&2 Nov: 100mg (4 hrs "with it"); 3 Nov: 75mg; 30 Dec: 67.5mg; 1 Jan 2016: 70mg (ear pain);

21 Jan: 67.5mg; 4 Feb: 65mg; 19 Feb: 62.5mg; 3 Mar: 60mg; 12 Mar: 57.5mg; 13 Mar: 60mg (ear pain); 24 Mar: 57.5mg; 21 Apr: 55mg; 19 May: 52.5mg; 16 Jun: 50mg tablet; 11 Sep: 47.5mg all caps (5mg old); 25 Sep: 45mg (40+2x2.5); 4 Oct: 45mg (open 2x2.5); 14 Oct: 45mg (open 2.5x2); 21 Oct: 42.5mg (open 2.5); 9 Nov: 41mg (open 1); 25 Nov: 38.5mg (open 2.5); 2 Dec: 37.5mg (5mg old, open 2.5); 26 Dec: 35mg (5mg old open); 6 Jan: 32.5mg (2.5mg open); 7 Jan: 33.5mg (2.5mg open); 15 Jan: 32.5mg (2.5mg open); 20 Jan: 31.5mg (1mg open);

Current:  Pristiq 31mg

My SA Intro topic                           My website


#347 O2bhappy

O2bhappy

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 301 posts
  • LocationUSA

Posted 04 January 2017 - 09:36 AM

ChessieCat -

 

Do you think changing your thought process can help with the negative thinking? 


Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Constant anger, burning sensation in my head/brain, internal shaking, crying, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, anxiety, depression, and scared feelings.

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.


#348 Dez

Dez

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 89 posts
  • LocationAlabama/Florida, USA

Posted 04 January 2017 - 09:55 AM

Karen,

My family and friends support me but I don't really trust the counselor I was going to or my psychiatrist. Usually when I feel suicidal I just bawl my eyes out, sometimes my mother would just hold me during it. But generally I get very little relief from it and I'm terrified. I know I don't want to die, so why do I feel this way? I'm nearly desperate, thinking I need to get back on medication because I'm messed up (and remembering that I can't because of horrible reactions, which make me feel hopeless and like I'll be this way forever).

I never knew neuro-emotions could be so bad or that they even existed. I could try to find myself like you suggested, but I'm not sure who I was anymore. I remember my child self but that's it. Is there anything else that can be done to ease these neuro-emotions?
- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well)

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

#349 ChessieCat

ChessieCat

    Platinum star

  • Moderators
  • 2,326 posts
  • LocationSydney Australia

Posted 04 January 2017 - 12:15 PM

ChessieCat -

 

Do you think changing your thought process can help with the negative thinking? 

 

Yes, but it can be hard work.  Negative thinking can be a habit and habits can be hard to change.  Check out this topic Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

Also: 

 

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for anxiety, depression


Cognitive Behavior Therapy lessons


S l o w l y ...... but surely!

 

Antidepressants:  25 years (various: 1 unknown; Prozac muscle weakness; Zoloft; Cipramil CTed - very sick for 2.5 wks soon after)
Pristiq:  50mg mid 2012, 100mg beg 2014 (from April - aches, pains, sweating, jittery, Oct 2015 recognised Serotonin Toxicity)
17 Oct 2015: 50mg (head fog); 1&2 Nov: 100mg (4 hrs "with it"); 3 Nov: 75mg; 30 Dec: 67.5mg; 1 Jan 2016: 70mg (ear pain);

21 Jan: 67.5mg; 4 Feb: 65mg; 19 Feb: 62.5mg; 3 Mar: 60mg; 12 Mar: 57.5mg; 13 Mar: 60mg (ear pain); 24 Mar: 57.5mg; 21 Apr: 55mg; 19 May: 52.5mg; 16 Jun: 50mg tablet; 11 Sep: 47.5mg all caps (5mg old); 25 Sep: 45mg (40+2x2.5); 4 Oct: 45mg (open 2x2.5); 14 Oct: 45mg (open 2.5x2); 21 Oct: 42.5mg (open 2.5); 9 Nov: 41mg (open 1); 25 Nov: 38.5mg (open 2.5); 2 Dec: 37.5mg (5mg old, open 2.5); 26 Dec: 35mg (5mg old open); 6 Jan: 32.5mg (2.5mg open); 7 Jan: 33.5mg (2.5mg open); 15 Jan: 32.5mg (2.5mg open); 20 Jan: 31.5mg (1mg open);

Current:  Pristiq 31mg

My SA Intro topic                           My website


#350 O2bhappy

O2bhappy

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 301 posts
  • LocationUSA

Posted 05 January 2017 - 03:23 PM

ChessieCat -

I never thought of my negative thinking as a habit. I guess after complaining for 16 months about how bad I have felt would make it a habit.

I am going to look into the Cognitive Behavior Therapy and see if that helps.

Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Constant anger, burning sensation in my head/brain, internal shaking, crying, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, anxiety, depression, and scared feelings.

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.


#351 KarenB

KarenB

    Platinum star

  • Moderators
  • 2,085 posts
  • LocationRaglan, New Zealand

Posted 09 January 2017 - 04:56 PM

Dez,

 

This might be a good place to start:  Dealing with Emotional Spirals.  I'm glad to hear you have family and friends to support you.  It's going to take time - just look at your signature and all the changes and skipping doses that your brain has been through - however, the healing will happen.  Right now you need to take one day at a time, finding small ways to ease your way through.  You might plan a short walk with a family member each morning, or enjoy a hot bath each evening.  

 

Only very recently you were still making drug changes, so don't be panicked that you are still feeling so bad.  Over time you will become more stabilised and the awful feelings & neuro-emotions will recede.  To help with stabilising be sure to take the busipirone at the same times each day, and never skip doses. 


2010 May Fluoxetine 20mg. Raging mostly stops, become more functional.
2011 February Escitalopram 10mg (sudden switch). 2012 January Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Early June Feeling great, decide to taper. Doc advises alternate days 20mg/10mg for 4 weeks.  Late June Steady. Drop to 10mg daily. Early July Not coping, raging, flu symptoms, shaky, anxious, low, spaced-out, self-destructive.  Mid July Return to alternate days 20mg/10mg - minimal improvement. Early August Return to full dose 20mg. Lost.
2014 February Switch to Venlafaxine. (First reduced Esc. to 10mg/day for a week) Feb-April Lost, 'light' self-harm, exhausted.
April Increase Ven. to 150mg/day. Dizzy. July 75mg twice a day to improve dizziness. Deep depression remains.  2015 Feb Vigilant dose spacing partially eases dizziness. Mar Switch to Effexor 75mg 2x/day. May Cut 10% to 135mg - bad w/d 2 mths, held 1 mth.  Aug 1.3% cut - bad 1mth, held 1mth. Oct 4 wkly 0.4% cuts held 6 weeks. Jan 2016 2 wkly 0.4% cuts. 8 month hold. Sept Wkly cuts: 0.5%, 3 1% cuts.  Oct 4 wkly 1% cuts, hold 3-4 weeks.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamins E & C, magnesium, iron, MSM, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.  My story of healing: ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor or counselor; please do your own research and be prepared to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.