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Neuro emotions


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#73 primrose

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:25 AM

Hello I have heard the term 'neuro emotions' mentioned on these boards, and only ever assumed it's meaning. My assumption of it's meaning is based on my own experience of benzo withdrawal. For instance, I got much more negative emotions during withdrawal. These sort of felt like negative emotions, but different. They would have no cause. For instance, before benzos, if I was sad, I usually knew why, but with withdrawal you don't have a reason to feel sad or angry, you just are. This is what I assuem neuro emotions to mean, but I would like to know the real meaning please. Thanks

pregan taper 600mg down to 240mg, daily cuts since xmas

valium, just over 75mg, tapering 0.1 a day, will keep this more udated, cos amounts going down

i have borderline personality, chronic ptsd, and suspected adhd and substance misuse as a symptom, which i am addressing with help of medical staff, drugs agencies & mh sta


#74 starlitegirlx

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 01:38 PM

Interesting that the 2 threads i just visited are Anhedonia/ Apathy/Demotivation and then Neuroemotion.

My interpretation:
AAD is the ABSENCE of POSITIVE emotions/feelings and anticipation of reinforcement/reward.
Neuroemotion is the magnification/amplification of NEGATIVE emotions.

Not profound, but the combination and contrast struck me.

I find that interpretation to fit my experience of them. I think you've hit the jackpot there.

#75 primrose

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 03:08 PM

.

You've got the right idea, and there's plenty more to read about neuro-emotions here on this thread.

Hi.

I got an email to advise me my above post had moved to this thread.
Before writing that post, I did a search on "neuro emotions" and got nothing.
Man, I was suprised when I read this thread.
I wish I had read something like it in 2009

I have acted loads on my anxiety and put myself in some very awkward and un necessary positions.
A couple of years ago, they found asbestos in my flat.
That's pretty common, and although expensive it can be removed.
As my anxiety was highly inflated I ended up spending thousands of pounds that I can ill afford on getting loads of different asbestos specialists round.

All I needed to do was to outlay £700 to get it removed and have done wtih, but no, I was anxious about it, and the more I read up on the internet about it, the more anxious I got.

The grain of truth was the positive asbestos test, but all the other anxiety was neuro emotion.

I alienated many people with my anxiety, because I had questions and needed an answer now.

Anyone get that, a question comes into your mind that makes you worry. You pluck up the courage to phone or see the relevant person who can answer your question and they are not available, and you feel about to burst, as you want your answer NOW!

Ohhh I am so glad those days are gone, they were some of the worst in my life.

Thanks again for this thread, oh, and I do get jealous and the feeling that I have wasted my life and not reached my potential, I have no kids, no partner and I am 46, and I think whats the point? I am not suicidal but I was.

pregan taper 600mg down to 240mg, daily cuts since xmas

valium, just over 75mg, tapering 0.1 a day, will keep this more udated, cos amounts going down

i have borderline personality, chronic ptsd, and suspected adhd and substance misuse as a symptom, which i am addressing with help of medical staff, drugs agencies & mh sta


#76 starlitegirlx

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 03:22 PM

It's like all the internal editors that keep us from acting rashly or impulsively are shut off. We are reduced to children essentially in that children just act. There's nothing yet to keep them from just acting. As we age, we build that ability to keep us from just acting or maybe reacting is more appropriate. I think neuro emotions are all reactionary. Our editor that keeps us from being reactionary is gone or temporarily on the fritz. And if you were a reactionary type person before the WD, then that must be a level of hell even Dante couldn't fathom.

#77 primrose

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 03:56 AM

It's like all the internal editors that keep us from acting rashly or impulsively are shut off. We are reduced to children essentially in that children just act. There's nothing yet to keep them from just acting. As we age, we build that ability to keep us from just acting or maybe reacting is more appropriate. I think neuro emotions are all reactionary. Our editor that keeps us from being reactionary is gone or temporarily on the fritz. And if you were a reactionary type person before the WD, then that must be a level of hell even Dante couldn't fathom.

Thanks Starlite

I definitely regressed down to childhood.
I phoned my parents in 2010 without any thought, when I was really anxious.
Nothing wrong with that, you might say, but I had previously cut off contact with them for years, because I had an abusive upbringing and I wanted to take my power back and protect myself from them.
I ended up staying with them for three weeks and have now got myself back entangled with them. I wish I had not phoned them, because, horrible as it sounds, they are harmful to me, and during this withdrawal period, I have had to accept that they are just not capable of love.

There are a few things I have done, based on neuro anxiety, that I wish I hadn't, and that have put me in some really awkward positions.

pregan taper 600mg down to 240mg, daily cuts since xmas

valium, just over 75mg, tapering 0.1 a day, will keep this more udated, cos amounts going down

i have borderline personality, chronic ptsd, and suspected adhd and substance misuse as a symptom, which i am addressing with help of medical staff, drugs agencies & mh sta


#78 starlitegirlx

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 07:45 AM


It's like all the internal editors that keep us from acting rashly or impulsively are shut off. We are reduced to children essentially in that children just act. There's nothing yet to keep them from just acting. As we age, we build that ability to keep us from just acting or maybe reacting is more appropriate. I think neuro emotions are all reactionary. Our editor that keeps us from being reactionary is gone or temporarily on the fritz. And if you were a reactionary type person before the WD, then that must be a level of hell even Dante couldn't fathom.

Thanks Starlite

I definitely regressed down to childhood.
I phoned my parents in 2010 without any thought, when I was really anxious.
Nothing wrong with that, you might say, but I had previously cut off contact with them for years, because I had an abusive upbringing and I wanted to take my power back and protect myself from them.
I ended up staying with them for three weeks and have now got myself back entangled with them. I wish I had not phoned them, because, horrible as it sounds, they are harmful to me, and during this withdrawal period, I have had to accept that they are just not capable of love.

There are a few things I have done, based on neuro anxiety, that I wish I hadn't, and that have put me in some really awkward positions.

neuro emotions seem to be quite the beast. It's like they cause us to be reckless when normally we wouldn't have. I think it's been described quite accurately as HAVE TO DO IT NOW. Like that ability to delay gratification or action just isn't there. The impulse triggered by the emotions is so strong that denying the action you want to take is near impossible. The only thing I can think of in situations like this is to adopt a 'do nothing' mindset. Take no action when emotions are running strong. I'm trying to think of situations where that would be bad or dangerous, but given we're not really in actual fight or flight situations since most of us are limiting our lifestyles during these times, doing nothing might be the best course of action when you feel that impulse. It's a buddhist thing I learned some years back. To not act on impulses that are stirred by energy like anxiety or some kind of need that feel like HAVE TO HAVE IT NOW or HAVE TO DO IT NOW. Generally, having to have or do it now is anxiety based and often leads you into trouble. If you can sit on it for a bit and just let go of that need or distract yourself from the thoughts that drive that impulse by doing something else, then at some point they will pass. It seems like it might adjust for the lack of the editor that would normally be in place.

With regards to calling your parents, I can see how fear would drive that. Even given that your parents were abusive, that fear would still in a neuro emotional state want to return to that sense of protection they gave you before you realized they were actually damaging you. So it makes sense. The editor and logic that come into play when evaluating options is gone or on the fritz, so we default to action with no thinking involved. If you can train yourself to add a step that would keep you from acting on the neuro emotion, then that would save you from the problems acting on it causes. Best thing I can think of is to not act when you HAVE TO ACT. Easier said than done though I would imagine.

#79 Barbarannamated

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 09:42 AM

Primrose, Your comment about family hits home more than i can describe! I've cut my family off during withdrawal (family enabling drug addict sister) but I often feel the need to run back to them even though nothing has changed there. I don't know what is real. Is Neuroemotion causing my reaction to family? Why didn't i see the dysfunction as clearly before withdrawal? Needless to say, it all is very painful. Starlitegirl, RE: fight or flight.. we aren't physically in a fight or flight, but our bodies and minds perceive that we are due to out of whack stress/cortisol response. The drugs effect the endocrine system and nervous system that control our response to stressors. (My interpretation)
Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

#80 starlitegirlx

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 03:40 PM

Thanks. You all have the best understanding of this than anyone.

Why do doctors deny neuro emotion exsists when it is clearly common.

If they admit neuro emotions exist, then by default they are admitting withdrawal exists and they can't do that because then they can't be pill pushers anymore because of that 'do no harm' part of becoming doctors. Without psych meds, most psychiatrists would be out of practice since most of them basically do only med check visits. No actual therapy. Just a pill pushing assembly line. Admitting the pills they push are dangerous beyond the 'side effects' factor would essentially put them out of business. Always boils down to the money.

#81 Barbarannamated

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 03:57 PM

Why do doctors deny neuro emotion exists when it is clearly common.


They are programmed to see symptoms as evidence of disease and many (most?) still have no idea of the intensity of withdrawal symptoms. Anhedonia, apathy, demotivation look like depression (and feel like it to patient who isn't aware of what's happening).
Neuroemotion looks like anxiety and/or hypomania, emotional outbursts, etc.

It's not an excuse and if a doctor really knows their patient and what they were like pre-drug, the difference *should* be apparent. They also want to cover their a**** from liability.

The emotional anesthesia of withdrawal is far worse than any anhedonia in past. It seems that the deficit areas (lack of enjoyment, motivation, interest) get worse before getting better. The negative emotions first become more intense (anxiety, fear, anger, interpersonal sensitivity) and then mellow out some.

Again, just my interpretation. Also, agree with Starlitegirl.
Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

#82 Jemima

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 06:12 PM



Thanks. You all have the best understanding of this than anyone.

Why do doctors deny neuro emotion exsists when it is clearly common.

If they admit neuro emotions exist, then by default they are admitting withdrawal exists and they can't do that because then they can't be pill pushers anymore because of that 'do no harm' part of becoming doctors. Without psych meds, most psychiatrists would be out of practice since most of them basically do only med check visits. No actual therapy. Just a pill pushing assembly line. Admitting the pills they push are dangerous beyond the 'side effects' factor would essentially put them out of business. Always boils down to the money.

Thank you, that is very depressing.


Don't dwell on it, Primrose. It *is* depressing, but it's out of your control and mine. Be extremely careful of anyone who can gain financially by giving you advice. Money just seems to corrupt everything.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivinganti...oducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivinganti...r-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 


#83 starlitegirlx

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 08:27 PM

Don't dwell on it, Primrose. It *is* depressing, but it's out of your control and mine. Be extremely careful of anyone who can gain financially by giving you advice. Money just seems to corrupt everything.


I learned that one well before my 20s. I just never imagined it would carry into the medical profession as it did or I would have seriously considered not taking the meds, not trusting the docs, and just finding another way to cope. I really am thankful I found the buddhist tools I did before going through this. They have helped immensely.

#84 LostaDecade

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 09:02 PM

Primrose, the more I take the time to read others' posts, the more I realize it's so good for our recovery. Although it is comforting, I often find myself in tears as I read about others who also feel they have nothing to show for the years we've all lost. I suppose this overwhelming compassion we sometimes feel is also due to our feelings coming back in rather manic abundance. I've found that keeping a short (daily if possible but at least weekly timeline of my symptoms has often times helped me see that I AM making progress even when I've forgotten (i.e., "wow, I felt crummy this week but thank goodness I don't have the symptoms I had in say, November!" To make it ready, I simply send myself an email with the word "Symptoms" in the subject line, then make a few short notes and email it to myself. Then, when I have time, I do a search for those emails and cut & paste my symptoms into a word doc that I've created on my computer. It's really helped my see the progress I've made in just a few months. We can never get back or lost years but e do have to learn to live with them. I truly hope we ask have a great year!

#85 Jemima

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 04:42 PM

I'm not sure if this is related to neuro-emotions or not, but one thing that really disturbs me about this whole withdrawal process is the intense focus on myself. In some ways it's good because I've learned from it and started changing some behaviors, but it can come across to others as selfishness to an extreme, and maybe it is! I volunteer in a soup kitchen on a weekly basis and this past week I was criticized by the guy who supervises it because of the way I'd acted the previous week - inattentive to the clients and focused on my own needs. It hurt, but he was right. I've been having some neuro-emotions lately, mostly a mild depression, and I'm finding that both 1) just deciding to get on with things no matter how I feel (a form of acceptance), and 2) using some sort of distraction really help. As for the soup kitchen, I focused intensely on serving the clients this past Thursday and didn't have a moment to think of myself. The supervisor told me I did great that evening. I'm going to try using that experience in other situations, especially social ones. I tend to get bored with small talk and drift off into my own world.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivinganti...oducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivinganti...r-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 


#86 LostaDecade

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 05:12 PM

Although no one has said it OUT LOUD to me, in my first couple of months off if meds I found myself constantly saying things like "This is so different since I'm off the meds!" and "Wow! When I was on meds I...me...me...me", etc. I did become aware that I must have sounded narcissistic and now try keep some of those thoughts to myself. Thanks for sharing and I'm grateful to be able to share and read about all of us here!

#87 Jemima

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 05:27 PM

I'm thirteen months out and I still seem to be very focused on ME. Not a good thing for me or anyone else.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivinganti...oducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivinganti...r-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 


#88 LostaDecade

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 10:16 PM

As is said in many things, recognizing the issue is a start. On meds (here I go again?) I said everything that came to my mind, like someone else would be missing out if I didn't share. More & more, I still have the urge to share (like in the movie theater (almost 3 hours!) yet biting my tongue is now becoming a (good) habit, (unless I someday chew through it?!..oh I'm just punchy now ;-)

#89 Barbarannamated

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 02:10 PM

I'm thirteen months out and I still seem to be very focused on ME. Not a good thing for me or anyone else.


I just saw this post about *neuroselfishness* or self-centeredness (my term). This is 100% opposite of who i was prior to or on Pristiq, but feel it is a primary characteristic now. I seem to make any conversation about me, as I'm sure is evident here on the board, too. I used to hate people who did that and now I'm one of them. I do recognize it, but only after I've launched into my own stuff and then i just want to go hide. :(
Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

#90 primrose

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 02:38 PM

From my benzo withdrawal experience, I think that we can get so mentally distressed, that we are unable to focus on anyone else. To give an analogy, it's a bit like when we are in shock, blood rushes to the vital organs. We need all our energies to concentrate on ourselves, and I think this is why we may feel self absorbed.

pregan taper 600mg down to 240mg, daily cuts since xmas

valium, just over 75mg, tapering 0.1 a day, will keep this more udated, cos amounts going down

i have borderline personality, chronic ptsd, and suspected adhd and substance misuse as a symptom, which i am addressing with help of medical staff, drugs agencies & mh sta


#91 lindamorellato

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 11:44 AM

Thank you! You are giving me hope. Putting words to my feelings during withdrawl. Linda
Lexapro 20 mg.since Aug 2009
Lamotrigine -100 mg. sept. 2009
Seroquel-50 mg.
down from 100 for 6 months.
Been going off and on lexapro since October 2012
off and on Lamotrigine since October 2012.
Incidentally, massive headaches and monthly vomiting has ceased
since October 2012.
So right now no lexapro since Dec. 28th after only taking 15 tables from Nov.12-to Dec.28,2012.
No lamotrigine since mid October 2012.
50 MG. seroquel at bedtime since June 2012.

#92 LostaDecade

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 11:48 PM

I cannot believe the way my brain is changing simply day to day. I'm about 6 months of all meds and although for the most part all of the changes seem to be a huge step in the right direction, last week was pretty bad but I had the flu. I almost broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years. Everything he did bugged the hell out of me. It was a bizarre sickening terrifying feeling. Flu's gone and so are those bad thoughts. Now back to the hot flushes!

#93 Phil

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Posted 03 February 2013 - 11:06 AM

My take on "neuroselfishness" (great term Barb :) ) is that we are in such a fight-or-flight "survivial" brain state, that maybe we have trouble relaxing enough to stop worrying about ourselves and our needs and focus on those of others. Fight or flight is a natural primitive evolutionary mechanism, after all, which makes us focus on our own survival. (I recommend the book The Compassionate Mind by Paul Gilbert which talks a lot about this) Personally I find that turning my attention outwards, onto others, can make me feel very anxious, almost like I'm letting down my guard. As if something bad will happen if I do. I'm working on relaxing more, seeing that everything is "okay", that there is no threat, and it's helping so far. I'm quite interested in oxytocin, which is a hormone connected to bonding and social feelings of safeness. Apparently it shuts off threat signals in the brain. Things like getting a massage, petting a dog, talking to someone you trust, singing in a choir...any kind of social activity really.. are things that increase oxytocin. I'm trying to recognise that "state" when I'm in it, and stay in it, and then approach life from that perspective.
Off Lexapro since 3rd November 2011.

#94 LostaDecade

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Posted 03 February 2013 - 02:40 PM

I love this, Phil. Your take on relaxation techniques especially intrigues me. I truly believe that during those (many) times I'm thinking too much and feeling as if I'm doing too little during my recovery, always having a ukulele within arm's reach has saved me (and it's only a bonus that with all this practice perhaps I'm actually getting better at it :-)

#95 btdt

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Posted 12 February 2013 - 12:31 PM

Bravo Healing this is beauty and art... hard to find in withdrawal sites

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#96 mammaP

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Posted 22 June 2013 - 05:44 PM

I've just read right through this topic for the first time,

(Had only read one or two posts before) and am amazed at how

many people are describing in perfect detail what I'm going through right now!

I especially relate to what was said about old hurts coming back with pain ten

times more than the original hurt. I remember when I was in the hospital and

changing drugs, I was cowered in a corner between the bed and the wall sobbing

and rocking. They had been trying to 'counsel' me and had me going through 

abuse and rapes. plus bereavements. It was like they were all heaped on me all

at once and the emotional pain was horrendous. They wouldn't give me anything

to ease it and said I had to feel it to heal. At the time I was CT from seroxat and

had started another but can't remember which.  

 

Now I can see that neuro emotion would have been involved too.

That is by far the worst time of my life  and did me no good whatsoever. I've been 

feeling something like that recently with family upset and have had to stop myself

from responding because I don't know if how I feel is the same as I will feel next week

or next month. I want to tell everyone where to go and shut my door to the world so I am 

completely alone and can't disappoint anyone or be hurt by anyone ever again. 

 

I can see now that it is all magnified and will try to relax and acknowledge that it isn't me

it's the WD and will pass. 


**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

See how to create a signature here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12364-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Many drugs for many years, prescribed diazepam first 1973, took occasionally. 3 or 4 tricyclics  for short periods.

1993 had a breakdown leading to 10 years of drug experiments with all classes of psych drugs.

2002  effexor. 

Tapered by counting beads from March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

 

Also tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg -hold- Feb2016 46mg  March 8 2016 45 April 44mg  May 11  43mg June 14 42mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, pro biotic.

 

My story http://survivinganti...king-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

Following every sunset is a brand new day


#97 Narcissus

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Posted 03 July 2013 - 07:50 PM

My take on "neuroselfishness" (great term Barb smile.gif ) is that we are in such a fight-or-flight "survivial" brain state, that maybe we have trouble relaxing enough to stop worrying about ourselves and our needs and focus on those of others. Fight or flight is a natural primitive evolutionary mechanism, after all, which makes us focus on our own survival.

 
I think this is a good assessment.  We seem to be trapped in an essentially defensive state, worrying and licking our wounds.  I think if withdrawal didn't change so much we could adapt to it, but all the ups and downs seem to prevent that from really happening.  Each wave feels like a new wound which we're then forced to attend to.


Edited by Petu, 09 January 2015 - 09:53 PM.
fixed text

3 Years 150 mgs Effexor
2 month taper down to zero
3 terrible weeks at zero
Back up to 75 mgs
2 months at 75
6 or so months back to regular dose of 150 - was able to restabilize fine.
3 month taper back to zero
1 HORRENDOUS week at zero
2 days back up to 37.5
3 days back up to 75
One week at 150 - unable to stabilize.
Back down to 75 mgs
At 75 mgs (half original dose) and suffering withdrawal symptoms since October 2012.

"It is a radical cure for all pessimism to become ill, to remain ill for a good while, and then grow well for a still longer period." - Nietzsche

#98 Lilu

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Posted 04 July 2013 - 09:11 AM

Where does the term neuro-emotion come from?  Is it a term that is recognized scientifically? Or did someone come up with it on this site?


2005-2008 Effexor xr; 1/2008 Tapered 3 months, then quit.
7/2008-2009 Reinstated Effexor xr due to crying spells.
2009-3/2013 Switched to Pristiq 50 mg then 100 mg
3/2013 Switched to Lexapro 10mg. Cut down to 5 mg. CT for 2 weeks then reinstated for 6 weeks
8/2013-8/2014 Tapering Lexapro
11/2014 -8/2015: Developed severe insomnia, resumed using Ambien & Klonopin
12/2014-6/2015 Tried Ativan, Lunesta, Sonata, Trazadone, Seroquel, Rameron - Adverse Reactions
7/2015 Reinstated Lexapro at 2 mg; Quit Klonopin CT suddenly paradoxical)
Started Gabapentin 100-300 mg for 3 weeks. Developed severe lumbar jerking movements (myoclonus).Quit Gabapentin CT.
8/2015 Continuing Lexapro 2 mg. Baclofen 10mg-AM/20mg-PM - tapered off by 5/2016
1-7/2016 Lexapro 5 mg 
Intro page: http://survivinganti...rsened-by-meds/


#99 alex

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Posted 04 July 2013 - 10:23 AM

Yes, the word was coined by SA former member "Healing" also known in the community as Sheila. founder of International Antideppresant Withdrawal Project


4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 


#100 Jerome

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Posted 11 August 2013 - 09:53 PM

I've never heard of "neuro-emotions" and am wary of coined terms in psychology 'cause there are so many that really just mean "money", but I've certainly experienced emotions that felt 'foreign' or unduly intense, amped up by my...nervous system? I feel like I'm using a novel word to describe a very slippery experience that I've definitely had. Those feelings can be unique,powerful, and disturbing. There is a quality of pushiness or inevitability about them.

 

I'd like to know more about this. Does disturbed neurology dysregulate my emotions in w/d? Are these counterfiet emotions related to PTSD, which I probably have?

 

Any fish in this pond?

 

Jerome


No history of AD meds. Single dose 6 mg/day of Ativan (9 mg/d max!) for 7 years. Summer of 2012 I learned about IW sx and began the change to 3X day dosing, finishing in October. Big improvement in sx. Finally got under way with a hybrid [wet/dry] daily cut taper in Dec. 2012, at 0.0125 mg/day. I also take 5 mg/day of Valium and opiate pain meds. On medical hold, re-started taper 5/21. Cardiac sx put taper on hold for summer of 2013. Some of what I thought were wd sx remitted when I had the heart problem corrected. > IW sx led to 4X/day dosing, again definitely helpful. Fractured my left wrist in April, 2014, taper on hold again :angry: . Restarting 12/2016, at 1 mg 4 X day, ramping to a projected reduction rate of ~ 10 µg per day :P  This time, I'm not stopping for adverse medical conditions.

.

 

My taper method, which will soon be further simplified and contain corrected information, is linked here: http://survivinganti...ised/?hl=jerome


#101 Rhiannon

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Posted 12 August 2013 - 03:12 AM

Jerome, if you read back through the thread, I think you'll find the answers to your questions. Especially read the first post where the subject was introduced.

 

The term "neuro-emotions" is just something we in this community use to describe the turbulent and disruptive emotional states that come about during withdrawal.


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease" as I was told. Long and tragic story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything.

 

Now tapering, ironically (but not surprisingly) healthier and more functional than I ever was during the years on the "meds," even with withdrawal (usually fairly mild at this slow pace).

 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 14 2011:   86 mg Neurontin   144 Lamictal,    5.5 Celexa   0.42 Xanax      1.9 mg Valium

Feb 16 2012:   10 mg Neurontin   115 Lamictal     3.7 Celexa   0.285 Xanax     2.0 Valium

Feb 22 2013:   86 Lamictal    2.05 Celexa       0.23 Xanax      1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

Now:                43                    0.625                 0.0775            1.3

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.


#102 Jerome

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Posted 12 August 2013 - 07:27 PM

I truly didn't intend to attack the concept of neuro-emotions, but I seem to have a knack for grabbing the wrong end of the stick. I've read the early posts and some of the later ones, in particular the first one, as you suggested. "Neuro-emotions" is an intriguing concecpt, one which I think is valuable to me because peoples' descriptions of their experiences of neuro-emotions match my own. But here is where I part company: "Whenever you're having an intense, disturbing feeling, try to remind yourself that, right now -- even if it does have something to do with reality -- it is largely a neuro-emotion that you wouldn't be feeling if you were fully healed."
 
I beg to differ. I have lots of intense, disturbing feelings and have had them all my life. Some may be greatly altered by w/d, but to undermine the reality of my emotions by telling me that they're just a product of my sickness and I should do my best to ignore them if they're disturbing...well, I beg to differ.
 
So I read as much as I was up for and didn't find a working definition of NE, which you put in one sentence, Rhi. "The term "neuro-emotions" is just something we in this community use to describe the turbulent and disruptive emotional states that come about during withdrawal." Bingo. Thank you.
 
 
 
Jerome
 
 
 


Edited by Petu, 22 July 2014 - 02:08 AM.
fixed text

No history of AD meds. Single dose 6 mg/day of Ativan (9 mg/d max!) for 7 years. Summer of 2012 I learned about IW sx and began the change to 3X day dosing, finishing in October. Big improvement in sx. Finally got under way with a hybrid [wet/dry] daily cut taper in Dec. 2012, at 0.0125 mg/day. I also take 5 mg/day of Valium and opiate pain meds. On medical hold, re-started taper 5/21. Cardiac sx put taper on hold for summer of 2013. Some of what I thought were wd sx remitted when I had the heart problem corrected. > IW sx led to 4X/day dosing, again definitely helpful. Fractured my left wrist in April, 2014, taper on hold again :angry: . Restarting 12/2016, at 1 mg 4 X day, ramping to a projected reduction rate of ~ 10 µg per day :P  This time, I'm not stopping for adverse medical conditions.

.

 

My taper method, which will soon be further simplified and contain corrected information, is linked here: http://survivinganti...ised/?hl=jerome


#103 Jerome

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Posted 13 August 2013 - 11:08 PM

Starlitegirlx: " Sometimes I wish I was God and could just heal people instantly." I think you do OK, myself.

 

Jerome


No history of AD meds. Single dose 6 mg/day of Ativan (9 mg/d max!) for 7 years. Summer of 2012 I learned about IW sx and began the change to 3X day dosing, finishing in October. Big improvement in sx. Finally got under way with a hybrid [wet/dry] daily cut taper in Dec. 2012, at 0.0125 mg/day. I also take 5 mg/day of Valium and opiate pain meds. On medical hold, re-started taper 5/21. Cardiac sx put taper on hold for summer of 2013. Some of what I thought were wd sx remitted when I had the heart problem corrected. > IW sx led to 4X/day dosing, again definitely helpful. Fractured my left wrist in April, 2014, taper on hold again :angry: . Restarting 12/2016, at 1 mg 4 X day, ramping to a projected reduction rate of ~ 10 µg per day :P  This time, I'm not stopping for adverse medical conditions.

.

 

My taper method, which will soon be further simplified and contain corrected information, is linked here: http://survivinganti...ised/?hl=jerome


#104 Jerome

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Posted 14 August 2013 - 03:00 PM

Hello, thread-mates:
 
After reading the entire thread, as advised, I tried to delete my previous post, but was too late. Then I began to wonder about how often I find myself trying to take back what I wish I hadn't said, how many times I've charged into a new thread I haven’t read with a marvelous preconceived opinion. Mostly, people have been pretty nice about it <_< . But they don’t have to live with me. The “large and in charge” Jerome may not be real, but he sure makes a lot of trouble for me. Nero-emotions at work?
 
Once I understood what NE was [and wasn't] by reading people's descriptions, it was obvious that I've been contending with this beast for many years. Terrifying anger that comes 'out of the blue' and becomes my world [and yours too, if you're unlucky] for minutes to hours, then vanishes. Grief as atrocious as when my mother killed herself...25 years ago. But there's something different about it, too. In some deep and devious way, it lies. It's not who it pretends to be.
 
"Dystalgia". Wow. I used to sit in my room and wait for "the night to come for me". That's how I thought of it, how I construed it, and that's how it was. Right over there in the corner, cheering me on..."yeah, I don't want to kill myself, this isn't like when I was depressed and suicidal...I'd just really like to be dead RIGHT NOW!!". And I meant it and felt it and it wasn't suicidal ideation. Evil nostalgia. "Nostalgia" originally meant the pain of a deep, seemingly unfulfillable longing to return home.
 
 And the night would me leave as suddenly as it had come. Another time, for a good half hour I was convinced that I was dying right then, that my mother and father were there in the room with me. I wasn't frightened or relieved or anything...more like at peace. And the times I’d sit crying endless tears, my shirt soaked through, my wife asking haltingly “what’s the matter? why are you crying” and all I could get out was a strangled “because it’s so saaad!”. But I now think something was fishy. That sadness was too sad. In therapy we figured out that my sadness has two sources: events in my life and events in my mother’s life. I remember the frightening suddeness and intensity of her emotions from the age of five or so.
 
The concepts of neuro-emotions and dystalgia provide a context within which I can understand what’s going on when my mouth opens and a stream of dangerous nonsense spews out in a voice that isn't mine. So the feelings may or may not be ‘real’, be my genuine feelings, but the intensity has definitely been turned up to 11 on the amplifier by some probably neurological process. It sounds like standard breathing and relaxation techniques, plus what I used to counter PTSD, would be ‘skillful means’ when these deranged emotions strike. I’d be interested in what others do when the night comes for them.
 
Jerome


Edited by Petu, 22 July 2014 - 02:09 AM.
fixed text

No history of AD meds. Single dose 6 mg/day of Ativan (9 mg/d max!) for 7 years. Summer of 2012 I learned about IW sx and began the change to 3X day dosing, finishing in October. Big improvement in sx. Finally got under way with a hybrid [wet/dry] daily cut taper in Dec. 2012, at 0.0125 mg/day. I also take 5 mg/day of Valium and opiate pain meds. On medical hold, re-started taper 5/21. Cardiac sx put taper on hold for summer of 2013. Some of what I thought were wd sx remitted when I had the heart problem corrected. > IW sx led to 4X/day dosing, again definitely helpful. Fractured my left wrist in April, 2014, taper on hold again :angry: . Restarting 12/2016, at 1 mg 4 X day, ramping to a projected reduction rate of ~ 10 µg per day :P  This time, I'm not stopping for adverse medical conditions.

.

 

My taper method, which will soon be further simplified and contain corrected information, is linked here: http://survivinganti...ised/?hl=jerome


#105 Nikki

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Posted 16 August 2013 - 03:57 AM

Healing's post is something I refer back to - should be a daily practice.  Love it and helps put things into a better perspective.

 

Thank you again.


Intro: http://survivinganti...ndown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine


#106 btdt

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Posted 23 September 2013 - 05:00 AM

I can't tell the difference between being scared, worried, and afraid which is real with reasons vs. how much of it could possibly be exaggerated by drugs or the neuro-emotion it brings on.

 

Can anyone else please help me out with this.

 

This morning I read a quote "What talent or strength can I use to resolve this" and I honestly don't know but I live in fear most of the time.  Can't seem to get myself out of it.

 

SOS

Hi Nikki I am right THERE with you in this...

I thought long ago I had this beat but be the cause resent events or withdrawal or both this is where I find myself again.

 

I came here recently whining about something I am sorry but my memory is working in a sporatic as needed this second basis... so can't recall why I came here in short..and was reminded of self care... something I had for some reason forgotten....

 

I had some mishaps this year and got off track in part because of drugs... I needed narcotics and antibiotics lots of both. Whatever the reason I needed them I don't want to go there now as I  will get bogged down and not say what I mean to say. so hope you can skip all that and still follow what I say.

 

I know I am hypersensitve to drugs and avoid it at all cost but the situation left little choice ... I am currently cut down to least if not off all mostly off all and coming back to myself... tho I realize the effects could take a long time ...given the protracted withdrawal.

 

Self care is the focus I want to have here ... this free wheeling anxiety ... shifting to other states.. and to a place where you not inside yourself aware enough to know what your feeling or depresonalization... some call it... sorry for the word spell check has nothing for it...

 

I am thinking of this as a reactivation of withdrawal due to drugs but It does not matter what we call it the effects are the same... and this is what you do about it.

 

Thanks to coming back here to whine I was reminded.. to look after myself so thanks for that...

 

Our bodies work on a feed back loop.. what we put in meshes with what is in there and affects everything.  basic belief having tried this already.

 

When we are having a drug effect and our bodies are spinning out of control we can end up in some very strange and undesirable states. 

 

I am going to give you some hint of what to do NOW

 

Control your enviroment as much as possible don't let crap in ... anything that may set you off.. or add to the chaos shut out all you can...From all five senses... is how I like to think about it... 

if you are so spun you can't feel or get in touch with your senses do this first.

 

Get quiet turn everything off ... get still stop moving sit down 

Limit the stimuli all you can so close your eyes. 

Feel one palce in your body you connect with the most...focus on this place feel it...  rest here till it become more and more real.. clear... feel it .. move to a second and then a third place in your body... ... each time sitting with it till you fee more inside yourself... rest with each...

 

Now listen find one thing to hear and focus on this ... can be anything... the point is to bring your awareness to the present ...and connect inside focus till it becomes clear stay as long as you like rest into it... find two other things to hear and focus on them intently too as long as it takes to hear them very clearly...

 

Now open you eyes and find one thing to see... focus you attention on that one thing keep looking at it till you see it clearly in all its detail.. focus keep looking.. till you have clarity.  move to a second and a third... 

 

Notice how you feel in your body now compared to how you felt before... you can do this anytime you need to.  The trick is to remember this tool.. you own it now use it.

 

Other hints to give feedback to you body internally when your having a drug reaction even can turn down the volume and help get you feeling better... if things are setting you off like light noise smells or words.. block all these things as much as you possible can... cover windows turn off sounds fresh air into the room... find some white noise a for you head phones... lay down in a comfy safe place and listen to it... I like to do this with heat on my spine as I have been cold a lot and find this helps.  I use waves of the ocean ..intermental music and sounds of rain... find what you like what soothes you... for a long time words in music were my enemy as they set of repeating songs in my head... avoid them.  

I read once that heat on the spine increases the norepinephrine... not sure if this it true either way I just like it as it sooths me... and helps to bring me back to earth to myself.

 

Espom salt baths are a fav of mine sadly you have to be home to use it.... if you can't tolerate magnesium supplements like me .. this is a way to get magnesium into your body...

 

I hope this helps you.  like everything else the more you practice the better it works... slowly this can change you body from the outside in.... and make withdrawal livable it works if you work it... I had forgotten this had been thrown off tack... and once again have learned the lesson to help others often helps ourselves... as that is my experience of sharing this with you today... as I typed the steps above to you I did and it worked just like it always has ...no matter how jaded you are and believe me I am bit time jaded ...you gotta love that. :)

 

peace to you. 


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#107 btdt

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Posted 23 September 2013 - 05:10 AM

Once you get a bit of control on this try this book called the power of now... 

There is an exercise in that book that teaches how to turn off you brain so it can't terrorize you... I was getting real good at it but it seems to have escaped me for a bit actually till coming here to talk to you I had forgotten about it... worth the money in my opinion.... It just came to me... and here it is ...

 

Watch for you next thought... 

 

lol sounds easy right... and it is ...

 

When you get good at this watching for you next thought shuts up your brain... it goes silent.. it is the neatest trick.. the more you do it the better you get at it...

 

Don't push if you mind wonders of just go back to the beginning and watch for you next thought again if you can't do it ... then likely the exercise above is in order first ... do it as many times as you need to till you feel better. 

 

Bet there are a couple of things I am giving away for free that I had to pay money for whoever invented them may be pissed but I don' t give a ****... use them up... and get better... if they were in the states we get into they would want somebody to help them... and people like us would be the first to help.. have a good one... sorry about the last bit i get carried away ignore it... who cares if they lose a buck not me...


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#108 mattinsmom

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Posted 21 October 2013 - 07:09 PM

Oh God thank you for posting and contributing to this topic/thread. I thought I had lost my mind tonight. I receive neurofeedback from a friend of mine. She is a Psy.D. and learning the technique. Basically she gets credit hours of training and I get free neurofeedback that is all interpreted/guided/overseen by her supervisor as well as her. Anyway, sat down for a session tonight and just got pissed. There is no nice way to say it. I was absolute, jaw clenching, angry because ???? Exactly. No idea why I reacted the way I did. None. 

 

Mind you I am supposedly focused on a screen during these sessions. Tonight during the session my dog was tap dancing the "I have to pee put me out/no not really just wanted to see if I'd get a treat" dance. One of my sons decided to play his guitar, another came home from work with a huge "HIYA" and my partner thought it would be a good time to show me funny Halloween costumes a friend had made. I mean really people? They all know exactly what I am doing and that it takes 15- minutes. Seriously, that is all the time I needed them to be a little quiet.

 

I have a busy house. I am used to the noise and the fact that the dog doesn't really care that I am doing neurofeedback. My family cares, they just don't always think (nor do I). I know that when they realize something like tonight's disruptions happened they sincerely feel bad because they did not mean to be distracting. And it has taken me over an hour, writing, and this thread for me to see that maybe wasn't as angry as I felt. Maybe my peeved was pushed out of proportion by my very still-ill brain.  

 

Deep breath and I am ready to settle back down. 

Thank you all for being so open and honest.


Current:

Lorazapam2mg: 4/9/152mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness.  

Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week

 

Discontinued:

Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0

Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/1450mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0

Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage 

Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes.