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☼ Irishwill 2015 Extremely positive and long overdue update


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#109 aberdeen

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Posted 12 October 2015 - 02:35 PM

They started when I was tapering fast but I tried to ignore hen then full blown when I went into withdrawal and now I just don't get them. They were awful and made me feel like a terrible person. It's like my mind knew what scared me the most and worked against me. It goes away but still was awful to go through.

 Perfect description. And the brain knows the variety and flavour of each of these topics of dread too, mine likes to run through the whole menu!


2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16


#110 Irishwill2015

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Posted 14 October 2015 - 03:52 PM

 

They started when I was tapering fast but I tried to ignore hen then full blown when I went into withdrawal and now I just don't get them. They were awful and made me feel like a terrible person. It's like my mind knew what scared me the most and worked against me. It goes away but still was awful to go through.

 Perfect description. And the brain knows the variety and flavour of each of these topics of dread too, mine likes to run through the whole menu!

 

 Haha mine did too, it went places that I really hated but as soon as I realized they were just thoughts and not a reflection on who I really was and would never lead to actions, they began to go away. I would occasionally laugh at them but that was after it got better.The mind is a very complex thing!



#111 Darwin

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Posted 15 October 2015 - 02:26 PM

 

 

They started when I was tapering fast but I tried to ignore hen then full blown when I went into withdrawal and now I just don't get them. They were awful and made me feel like a terrible person. It's like my mind knew what scared me the most and worked against me. It goes away but still was awful to go through.

 Perfect description. And the brain knows the variety and flavour of each of these topics of dread too, mine likes to run through the whole menu!

 

 Haha mine did too, it went places that I really hated but as soon as I realized they were just thoughts and not a reflection on who I really was and would never lead to actions, they began to go away. I would occasionally laugh at them but that was after it got better.The mind is a very complex thing!

 

you're one of the people here that make me look forward to getting through symptoms everyday knowing i can heal just as you did. thanks. 


Summer 2013: started on Prozac for OCD

Fall 2013: started Lexapro due to Prozac zombie effects

 

Stopped Lexapro because of lack of empathy/emotion,anxiety,lack of concentration etc.

Fall 2014: switched to zoloft 

 

February 2015: started effexor quit C/D after 2 weeks.

April 2015: was on zoloft for a month again to try and wean a bit more slowly. DID not work.

May 2015: dumped all of my medications

July 2015: Struggling day to day with withdrawal symptoms but hopeful that I'll be better at the end of august for the next school year.


#112 Irishwill2015

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Posted 16 October 2015 - 07:54 AM

Thanks Darwin, that means a lot. I find it very fulfilling to share my experiences with people who understand. I remember early on in WD trying to cling to anything that I could for hope and reassurance. I can honestly say it's gets way better, yes it takes time but when you gain things back you took for granted your whole life it's such a great feeling. I have no doubt in people's ability to heal when they do the right things and take care of themselves.

#113 KT38

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Posted 16 October 2015 - 08:21 AM

Did you get hit hard about 7 months off?  Like new symptoms popped up or got worse?  I just entered 7 months off and feel like I have a fever (no  fever, but that full body sick feeling even though I'm not).  And all my other symptoms have ramped up like I should most definitely be in a Sci-Fi movie. 


<p><p>Started getting panic attacks mid-Dec and was told to take Xanax when I got an attack. After four days I was scared of the Xanax, so I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a secondProzac 10mg (15 days) - dizziness went away in week 2, so I know now it was withdrawal after Zoloft, ugh!!!!Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this)Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitationLexapro 7.5mg (2 days)Lexapro 10mg (16 days)Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it.Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!!Zoloft 50mg (6 days)<p>Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30th (my last dose). I am 21 months off SSRIs as of Jan. 8, 2017 and 18 months off benzos as of Dec 30 and I have had tiny windows. Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, can't regulate emotions, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, electrical dizziness, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).


#114 Horns85

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Posted 16 October 2015 - 10:41 AM

Did you get hit hard about 7 months off? Like new symptoms popped up or got worse? I just entered 7 months off and feel like I have a fever (no fever, but that full body sick feeling even though I'm not). And all my other symptoms have ramped up like I should most definitely be in a Sci-Fi movie.


My symptoms were relatively mild until month 7/8. I had symptoms from 3 months but 7 is when things got really bad. Especially the DP/DR.

Lexapro from October 2012-October 2014

10mg from Oct 2012-Feb 201320mg from Feb 2013-June 201310mg from July 2013-April 2014
Began taper via liquid Lexapro from April 2014-September 2014(Roughly 6 month taper)---0.00 on Oct 1 2014--WD began in December 2014

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reinstated to 10mg - 10mg Tablet October 15, 2015 - Stable by Mid-January, 2016

(Began Taper) 5ml/mg Liquid and 5mg Tablet - March 1, 2016 10mg Total w/ daily 15b Probiotic......4ml/mg Liquid and 5mg Tablet - March 26, 2016 - 9mg Total w/ daily 15b Probiotic....3ml/mg Liquid and 5mg Tablet - May 11, 2016 - 8mg Total w/ daily 15b Probiotic...2ml/mg Liquid and 5mg Tablet - July 5, 2016 - 7mg Total w/ 15b Probiotic ....1ml/mg Liquid and 5mg Tablet - August 26, 2016 - 6mg Total.....5mg Tablet - October 31, 2016 - 4mg.... - March 6, 2017

 


#115 KT38

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Posted 16 October 2015 - 11:09 AM

Wow!  I have heard this happens a lot where it gets worse between 6 and 12 months.  I feel like I have a chemical storm in my body....like internal burning or something in my head and body, along with the electric energy.


<p><p>Started getting panic attacks mid-Dec and was told to take Xanax when I got an attack. After four days I was scared of the Xanax, so I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a secondProzac 10mg (15 days) - dizziness went away in week 2, so I know now it was withdrawal after Zoloft, ugh!!!!Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this)Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitationLexapro 7.5mg (2 days)Lexapro 10mg (16 days)Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it.Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!!Zoloft 50mg (6 days)<p>Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30th (my last dose). I am 21 months off SSRIs as of Jan. 8, 2017 and 18 months off benzos as of Dec 30 and I have had tiny windows. Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, can't regulate emotions, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, electrical dizziness, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).


#116 Irishwill2015

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Posted 17 October 2015 - 07:56 AM

Did you get hit hard about 7 months off?  Like new symptoms popped up or got worse?  I just entered 7 months off and feel like I have a fever (no  fever, but that full body sick feeling even though I'm not).  And all my other symptoms have ramped up like I should most definitely be in a Sci-Fi movie. 

 

 

So 7 months off it was around the holidays for me and made me feel 10x worse so I am not sure if it was just the timing or an actual cycle to be honest. I know at 1.5 years to 2 years off I saw a lot of improvement but 7 months is most likely a unique experience but hang in there..the first year is awful...but it gets better and every case is different so maybe you will see improvements even sooner..stay optimistic and avoid reading any of the nightmare stories as they usually don't tell the whole story.

 

Irish



#117 oceanside659

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Posted 17 October 2015 - 02:05 PM

Thank you so much fpr posting this, I really appreciate it. It is hard but at some point I am going to have to accept what happened and fight to recover. Thank you again. Very well written-

#118 Irishwill2015

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Posted 18 October 2015 - 10:53 AM

Thank you so much fpr posting this, I really appreciate it. It is hard but at some point I am going to have to accept what happened and fight to recover. Thank you again. Very well written-

 

Accepting this as reality was very hard for me. But I had to stop listening to my head and start focusing on facts. It is important to get up even when nothing in your body or mind thinks it is a good idea. Get up and move and do something and get out of your own head.

 

Acceptance is very important, the sooner the better.

 

Glad this helped and wishing you the best.



#119 LJ2015

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Posted 30 October 2015 - 05:01 PM

Thanks Irish I really needed to read this. I am three months free and suffering terrible mental withdrawal symptoms although I feel loads better physically. I had a really rough day today and went back to my GP he was useless and told me to go back on them. After reading this post I am determined to carry on without them. I feel very strange tonight as if I have taken some meds (I havnt) - jaw pain, crackling ears, aches and pains and sight problems. Do you remember feeling like that at any time?

Thanks again xxx

Started Contraceptive pill at 14 years of age

Started Prozac 1998 Various different anti-depressants  including Sertraline

contraceptive pill stopped 2010 - given mini-pill - stopped due to no periods

Injured back 2010 - given Co-codamol for back pain

Started Mirtazapine 2011 - intolerance to Mirtazapine (suicidal thoughts, weight gain, memory problems

Changed to Citalopram 20mg - reduced to 10mg after a while

2013 - given Diazepam 2mg - for anxiety to be taken as and when (I abused them)

taken anti-histamines for years for sinus problems

August 2015 - after small tapering stopped taking citalopram

Cut down on Co-codamol stopped taking anti-histamines


#120 Mort81

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Posted 09 November 2015 - 01:07 PM

Hey Irish just wondering how your workouts are going?  I actually tried some light yoga 15 minutes. It wasn't too bad but during the evening I got hit with a massive anxiety/fear wave out of the blue. I don't think its related though.  So I guess a two part question. First about the workouts and than anxiety/fear.  How and when did your fear/anxiety evolve and abate over time?  My anxiety has come out of nowhere. 


Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th Clonazapam. Currently 0.10mg daily. PPI Dexlant 20-30mg for last 29 months currently at 30mg

#121 Irishwill2015

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Posted 19 November 2015 - 04:16 PM

LJ-

 

still have minor jaw pain and cracking ears to some degree.  Jaw pain is probably from stress and clenching when you are sleeping or while you're awake and not realizing it. I think the cracking in ears could be a bunch of things, for me it is most likely connected to the jaw pain and inflammation. It could also be allergies. You are going to experience new body sensations and things that alarm you but I wouldn't stress too much about it as I think I experienced every weird feeling there is and I got through it for the most part. Ups and downs and new feelings is a part of this game but nothing will be more than a nuisance.

 

Irish

Thanks Irish I really needed to read this. I am three months free and suffering terrible mental withdrawal symptoms although I feel loads better physically. I had a really rough day today and went back to my GP he was useless and told me to go back on them. After reading this post I am determined to carry on without them. I feel very strange tonight as if I have taken some meds (I havnt) - jaw pain, crackling ears, aches and pains and sight problems. Do you remember feeling like that at any time?

Thanks again xxx



#122 Irishwill2015

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Posted 19 November 2015 - 04:24 PM

Mort-

 

I am getting better at endurance but find I can't do two long work outs back to back days. I am not getting "sick" after like I was this time last year but I am also not feeling great after working out. I feel fatigued and some slight anxiety. To answer your question, anxiety and fear even later in the evening was very normal for me. It has no rhyme or reason but it is normal. There are delayed responses. I get a lot of DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) so I think that triggers the anxiety. It has gotten a lot better.

 

I think it is going to take me like 6 months to get back to about 60% of what I use to do but I am committed to it. It can be frustrating comparing how I use to be able to work out vs now but it's ok, I am moving forward and that's what counts. It IS getting easier.

 

My anxiety is triggered by feeling really out of it and weird, I don't let it get the best of me anymore I just accept it is there. This anxiety is NOTHING like anxiety early on in withdrawal, that was relentless and could last weeks. Now I know it won't last more than an hour or two at best. As the waves get shorter and shorter you eventually just accept it and know it will end sooner than later. It gets less and less frequent with occasional really bad wave here and there but it doesn't last long. Once again, 100% manageable and NOTHING like the hell it was. I believe there is always room for more improvement, especially physically but it will all come in time. Mentally, I feel pretty damn good and my attitude has gotten a lot better.

 

Hope you are able to keep doing the yoga, I think it is good for your morale and great for your body, even if it feels like it is hurting you, you will get over it and be happy you stuck with it.

 

Irish

Hey Irish just wondering how your workouts are going?  I actually tried some light yoga 15 minutes. It wasn't too bad but during the evening I got hit with a massive anxiety/fear wave out of the blue. I don't think its related though.  So I guess a two part question. First about the workouts and than anxiety/fear.  How and when did your fear/anxiety evolve and abate over time?  My anxiety has come out of nowhere. 



#123 Mort81

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Posted 19 November 2015 - 11:07 PM

Thanks Irish thats a very reassuring and well written explanation about anxiety. The wave has since left. It last one week . I guess since im relativley early into WD just over  one year that is . All the waves of emotions will still be much stronger than they will one year from now and 2 years from now. I do love the yoga , yesterday I managed 15 min of the Ex Bike on low level than 15-20 min of gentile yoga. My bodies response was okay but I got a failry decent tension headache. Today my body feels a bit stronger and I am more upbeat than usual  but the tension in my head is the equivalent to if I did a triathlon yesterday. So I can feel my sensitivity to exercise is not very good yet kinda the same as my mental state I guess. However I guess thats expected and  I am accepting of this and I wil continue gentile exercise because like you said its good for morale

 

 Thats also an extremely good update from you about the workouts .I know your not where you were yet but I can clearly see your on your way!  Are you into more cardio right now or weights ? a balance ? You have definatley reached a good point to where you can push . Maybe like you said not mutiple days yet but you have come from practically being able to do nothing . I think by this time next year you could be close to 100% if not there.  It may not matter when it fully comes but Its definately gonna come. So glad for you buddy and I am looking forward to reading your updates and progress! 

 

Mort-

 

I am getting better at endurance but find I can't do two long work outs back to back days. I am not getting "sick" after like I was this time last year but I am also not feeling great after working out. I feel fatigued and some slight anxiety. To answer your question, anxiety and fear even later in the evening was very normal for me. It has no rhyme or reason but it is normal. There are delayed responses. I get a lot of DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) so I think that triggers the anxiety. It has gotten a lot better.

 

I think it is going to take me like 6 months to get back to about 60% of what I use to do but I am committed to it. It can be frustrating comparing how I use to be able to work out vs now but it's ok, I am moving forward and that's what counts. It IS getting easier.

 

My anxiety is triggered by feeling really out of it and weird, I don't let it get the best of me anymore I just accept it is there. This anxiety is NOTHING like anxiety early on in withdrawal, that was relentless and could last weeks. Now I know it won't last more than an hour or two at best. As the waves get shorter and shorter you eventually just accept it and know it will end sooner than later. It gets less and less frequent with occasional really bad wave here and there but it doesn't last long. Once again, 100% manageable and NOTHING like the hell it was. I believe there is always room for more improvement, especially physically but it will all come in time. Mentally, I feel pretty damn good and my attitude has gotten a lot better.

 

Hope you are able to keep doing the yoga, I think it is good for your morale and great for your body, even if it feels like it is hurting you, you will get over it and be happy you stuck with it.

 

Irish

Hey Irish just wondering how your workouts are going?  I actually tried some light yoga 15 minutes. It wasn't too bad but during the evening I got hit with a massive anxiety/fear wave out of the blue. I don't think its related though.  So I guess a two part question. First about the workouts and than anxiety/fear.  How and when did your fear/anxiety evolve and abate over time?  My anxiety has come out of nowhere. 

 


Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th Clonazapam. Currently 0.10mg daily. PPI Dexlant 20-30mg for last 29 months currently at 30mg

#124 Mort81

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Posted 21 November 2015 - 04:43 AM

I think after a few days since I exercised this rings a bell what you said to me. when you say how even now you dont get sick after you workout but more fatigued and slightly anxious seems similar to me.

I am much more at the beginner stage so the yoga or light cardio gives me significant head strain and increased anxiety. Maybe this is my body and minds way of adjusting to the light activity.
Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th Clonazapam. Currently 0.10mg daily. PPI Dexlant 20-30mg for last 29 months currently at 30mg

#125 dowdaller

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Posted 15 July 2016 - 02:41 AM

 

Did you get hit hard about 7 months off?  Like new symptoms popped up or got worse?  I just entered 7 months off and feel like I have a fever (no  fever, but that full body sick feeling even though I'm not).  And all my other symptoms have ramped up like I should most definitely be in a Sci-Fi movie. 

 

 

So 7 months off it was around the holidays for me and made me feel 10x worse so I am not sure if it was just the timing or an actual cycle to be honest. I know at 1.5 years to 2 years off I saw a lot of improvement but 7 months is most likely a unique experience but hang in there..the first year is awful...but it gets better and every case is different so maybe you will see improvements even sooner..stay optimistic and avoid reading any of the nightmare stories as they usually don't tell the whole story.

 

Irish

 

 

Im 9 months down the track and I can relate to everything in your thread, my mood dips badly after I workout maybe for a few days, thanks for posting all the replies, I hope you are still well. 


I am off all meds 16 months I had been on olanzapine, Effexor zanex and assorted sleeping meds for approx 2 years.
Weaned off 375 mg effexor over two years, I had previously come off xanax, rivotrill and olazapine. Reinstated 75mg of effexor on the 22/12/16

#126 MrAnxious

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Posted 17 July 2016 - 10:56 PM

Irish are you still around ???
2007-2012started Effexor xr 225mg -150mg- Varied2months of Taper,(March 22/2012 Off Med/in W/D)Currently No medicationMarch 22/2012- August 16/2012 - Totally Off Effexor( Rough Rough time) Reinstatement for a week(didn't work)****** New Doctor******* Very nice/helpful and in touch.Tried Zoloft- No successAUGUST 17/2012- STARTED 37.5 EFFEXOR FOR ONE WEEK - NOT GOOD < STOPPED.Started Buspar Oct 11th 2012----10 mg for the first 7 days and then 15mg a day---- Taking a new route----Racing thoughts - Gone.Oct 9th ( Done Zoloft,wellbutrin week project trial to feel better) - OFFICIALLY OFF ANTI DEPRESSANT !Oct 26 - Raised Buspar to 20mg a day- Tolerating wellJan 2nd 2013-
Reduce Buspar until full off march 20th 2015 Off all medication !
Tried natural supplements to no avail
Gluten/sugar free since december 2013

#127 gemini

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Posted 30 July 2016 - 06:29 AM

Like irishwill, I'm at times by sheer force of will putting myself in survival mode and working which promotes my feelings of hope and victory for overcoming inertia. I'm healing.
off cold turkey:zoloft, trileptal, stratteracurrently on:<p>latuda .05 milligrams latuda (to stabilize cns) from 20 mgs 4 months ago.

#128 triplem15

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Posted 01 August 2016 - 11:09 AM

Taking a chance that you might contsct me Irishwill. I love your story and have questions too.
I do take Flonase,also take Zyrtec on and off. Maybe twice per week. I am on Vit. C, B-complex, Vit. D, selenium, Vit E, fish oil, and l-lysine and thats it. No street drugs. No alcohol. 9/2006 Welbutrin XL 150mg, Began Weaning June 15, 2015, Alternating days, changed each mos. Oct 2015 switch to Immediate release 37.5mg. mid october 2015 down to 18.75, (9.37mg twice daily. stayed there one mos.) Dec 2015 down to 9.37mg in AM and 7mg in PM, January 2016 down to 7mg AM and 4.6mg in PM. 4/5/16 cut down what I thought was 2.5 to 3mg. From 4/16/16 until yesterday, was not doing well. 4/20/16, 37.5mg yesterday for first time. 4/21/16 Two days now on 37.5mg. 4/22/16 took monitors advise and dropped dose to 18.75, split dose ,twice daily, now holding.

#129 catnapt

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Posted 16 November 2016 - 10:05 AM

so glad that you posted to this thread, triplem15 - I don't know if Irishwill  is still around or will reply, but this put the thread at the top of a list somewhere where I saw it

 

and it's such an inspirational and hopeful story!
i am glad I read it

 

I hope you find some help with your questions triplem


1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs

2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as  high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs

June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015:  found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs 

Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.

Oct 26 2016  reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves

Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)

Jan 12 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15

Jan 26 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia

March 1 insomnia worse, back down to 0.29 for one day, then 0.27, then 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24  April 7 0.21

March 7 added low dose lamictal, adjusting dose based on response (currently ~18mgs)

Supplements: Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, glycine 2grams PM, 1 gram AM 


#130 triplem15

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Posted 24 November 2016 - 03:27 PM

Thank you catnapt. I am glad you found it. I too know it is so inspirational. Wonderful!!!!
I do take Flonase,also take Zyrtec on and off. Maybe twice per week. I am on Vit. C, B-complex, Vit. D, selenium, Vit E, fish oil, and l-lysine and thats it. No street drugs. No alcohol. 9/2006 Welbutrin XL 150mg, Began Weaning June 15, 2015, Alternating days, changed each mos. Oct 2015 switch to Immediate release 37.5mg. mid october 2015 down to 18.75, (9.37mg twice daily. stayed there one mos.) Dec 2015 down to 9.37mg in AM and 7mg in PM, January 2016 down to 7mg AM and 4.6mg in PM. 4/5/16 cut down what I thought was 2.5 to 3mg. From 4/16/16 until yesterday, was not doing well. 4/20/16, 37.5mg yesterday for first time. 4/21/16 Two days now on 37.5mg. 4/22/16 took monitors advise and dropped dose to 18.75, split dose ,twice daily, now holding.

#131 Irishwill2015

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Posted 14 December 2016 - 04:39 PM

Sorry everyone, I just got back on to check messages after a pretty lengthy absence. I wanted to wish you all well in your recovery and answer any messages I may have had. I hope my story helped to give people hope because I know that is something that isn't always around when going through WD. Be kind to yourselves and I wish the best for you all.

 

Irish



#132 LexAnger

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 12:21 AM

Yes, it's always the greatest help to hear a true success story!
Thank you for coming back and give hope to everyone who is still on the road.

Best wishes to you for a great life!
<p>2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg, first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, slight improvement with pain2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR2016 Feb., started fast taper for the drug toxicity caused by the one dose of 4.2mg, dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, sliding Down to 0.13mg by 2/13, then 0.07mg since 2/18, 0.06mg 2/20-3/17, 0.13mg 3/18

#133 Irishwill2015

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 04:26 PM

Yes, it's always the greatest help to hear a true success story!
Thank you for coming back and give hope to everyone who is still on the road.

Best wishes to you for a great life!

Thank you Lex.

 

I wish more people who have healed would come back to prove it is very common to heal. I understand why people don't come back but please know that healing happens and I am talking about true healing, not partial. Keep the faith, work hard towards your recovery, and treat yourselves kindly.



#134 LexAnger

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 08:17 PM

Bless your heart and soul irishwill2015!
A heart full of love can heal the mind even faster, and I'm sure yours is one of those.
<p>2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg, first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, slight improvement with pain2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR2016 Feb., started fast taper for the drug toxicity caused by the one dose of 4.2mg, dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, sliding Down to 0.13mg by 2/13, then 0.07mg since 2/18, 0.06mg 2/20-3/17, 0.13mg 3/18

#135 Hopeinahpwr

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Posted 18 December 2016 - 11:33 AM

I like the portion about wanting to stay away from anything that could alter your mind. Other than the sertraline I am slowwllyyy weaning off of, I do not ingest any other agents that have the possibility to alter my thoughts, not even coffee. Also, quitting alcohol was one of the best things I have ever done!!! I've read about the dysthymia associated with long term AD use and how there are studies that it is caused by the brain reshifting itself, and that it may be permanent...but I'm often able to think so clearly through it and overcome the down feelings, so that I truly believe it is a symptom of the sertraline and not something that is permanent...that with time to fully heal, it can be truly and fully overcome...as I never had depression before, even before I started the AD use, which I started for OCD/anxiety...I also believe as was originally written in this post that we do become stronger and more able to cope through our issues of not being able to cope. That we learn it is okay to feel down at times, that's just normal...it's impossible to always live without some type of stress and/or anxiety, especially in today's world. It's almost a blessing that we are experiencing what we are...hope this makes sense...


On zoloft since 2000 for OCD/anxiety. Tapered off from 150mg to 100, 50, 25 over Dec/Jan 2015. After month n half off, began depression. Being terrified, as I never had depression before, after a few days, went back to 50mg, then five days later to 100mg. Now stable. I will stop this medication, with time and perseverance...my current taper level and timing are as follows, which includes No other Rx's, No alcohol, NEVER any illicit drugs:
    84mg from October 2016

    82mg from February 2017

    80mg from April 2017

"Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift." - Eleanor Roosevelt 

"Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation."

               - Viktor Frankl 


#136 Mort81

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Posted 24 December 2016 - 05:51 PM

Hey Irish Glad to see you come back again. I'm so happy you reached this place of happiness, must feel surreal being so far away from this nightmare. I wanted to ask how your workouts are going? Even if your not able to push 100 % I think your going to be able to.
Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th Clonazapam. Currently 0.10mg daily. PPI Dexlant 20-30mg for last 29 months currently at 30mg

#137 Mort81

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Posted 29 December 2016 - 03:49 PM

Irish I also may have asked you this before but can't find it, when did you actually start to feel healthy like turning the corner? Was it at the 3 yr mark?
Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th Clonazapam. Currently 0.10mg daily. PPI Dexlant 20-30mg for last 29 months currently at 30mg

#138 Cean

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Posted 04 January 2017 - 08:40 PM

There are no words to describe what I went through, I still can’t fathom it now a days, despite living it and keeping a journal. It’s as if the brain digs deeper and deeper into a dark hole, it takes you to a place you didn’t know could exist, a place below death. I kept a journal and that really how I know it was all real, otherwise I would have never been able to remember the fear, pain, sadness, inhumane torture I went through.

This. I'm also keeping a journal.
I hope I will have a chance to read it one day and cry. Cry from happiness that it's over.


10 months quitting antidepressants and stimulants ...This is how I am currently feeling . Maybe I will journal my thoughts and feelings. The scary part is thinking you will never come out of it!



#139 Bobo32

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Posted 07 March 2017 - 01:50 PM

Hi Irish,
Can I ask you about the mental symptoms and did they ever go away? I'm speaking about
- brain fog
- short term memory
- coordination problems
-feeling i don't have access to all my brain
- feeling slow to understand others, slow to answe/react

Also emotional ones
- depression non ending sighs that feel like drug related for sure
- feeling of oppression
- unable to feel joy or enjoy things fully feeling low all the time

Thanks again

2004-2007 paxil

2015- zoloft 3 months zyprexa 3 months lexapro 3 months xanax 2 months

no meds since march 2017