This thread has niggled at me for several days - something just didn't sit right with me. I have tried to unravel and explain as best I can in the following post.
I perceive that the use of the word 'drama' is neither helpful or accurate in describing behaviours that occur on this site. I believe that trauma is a much more accurate definition of the origin of behaviour here. Language needs to be used very carefully to convey meaning with clarity, especially within groups where language and cultural diversity is present, as is the case here.
The way we frame our language in interactions with others here is critical as we have no verbal cues or intonation to work with through this medium. Interpretation of communication is at least 70% non verbal.
If we look at the definition of the word drama v's trauma, there is distinct difference in value (judgement) associated with each term:
Definition of drama in English:
1A play for theatre, radio, or television:
a gritty urban drama about growing up in Harlem
1.1 [MASS NOUN] Plays as a genre or style of literature:
1.2 [MASS NOUN] The activity of acting:
teachers who use drama are working in partnership with pupils
2 An exciting, emotional, or unexpected event or circumstance:
a hostage drama
make a drama out of
informal Exaggerate the importance of (a minor problem or incident):
Gwyneth makes such a drama out of things
Early 16th century: via late Latin from Greek drama, from dran 'do, act'. Source also of drastic (late 17th century). The Latin dramatis personae has been used since the mid 18th century for a list of the characters in a play.
acting, the theatre, the stage, the performing arts, dramatic art, dramatics, dramaturgy, stagecraft, theatricals, theatrics, the thespian art, show business;
performing, performance, playing a role, appearing on stage, informal the boards, treading the boards, show biz, rare thespianism, histrionics.
Farce, joke, compression, firmness, jesting, tightness, humor, comedy, funniness, pleasantry, slapstick.
Definition of trauma in English:
1 A deeply distressing or disturbing experience:
a personal trauma like the death of a child
[MASS NOUN]: many experience the trauma of divorce
1.1 [MASS NOUN] Emotional shock following a stressful event or a physical injury, which may lead to long-term neurosis:
the event is relived with all the accompanying trauma
2 [MASS NOUN] Medicine Physical injury:
rupture of the diaphragm caused by blunt trauma
Late 17th century: from Greek, literally 'wound'. This is an English use of a Greek word meaning literally ‘wound’. It was transferred to the notion of a ‘mental wound’ in the late 19th century.
shock, upheaval, distress, stress, strain, pain, anguish, suffering, upset, agony, misery, sorrow, grief, heartache, heartbreak, torture;
disturbance, disorder, jolt, ordeal, trial, tribulation, trouble, worry, anxiety, burden, adversity, hardship, nightmare
benefit, blessing, comfort, contentment, favor, happiness, health, joy, calm, order, peace, alleviation, healing, help, relief.
(The Oxford English Dictionary; Roget's 21st Century Thesaurus, Third Edition).
I believe that the moderators on this site do an amazing job. I have had nothing but positive interactions on every occasion. I have always appreciated the diversity of their characters, experiences and the range of knowledge, personal skills and qualities that add so much value to this site. Moderating a site like this is a particularly difficult task, that the moderators negotiate brilliantly in the light that, they too have their own hardships and struggles ongoing as part of their own withdrawal process.
Most people arrive at this site in a frazzled state regardless of the diversity of their background and experiences. Some have a history of abuse and trauma that led them to take these drugs in the first place. We all have the trauma induced by the taking and withdrawing of these drugs, which is complex and involves loss on many levels and growth that needs to take place as a consequence.
There are a lot of psycho social theories that explain relationship dynamics. Such theories can be useful, but also harmful if applied incorrectly to traumatised people in crisis, who may receive this information as criticism, which further impacts, isolates and harms. The uncovering and healing of trauma and maladaptive dynamics is a complex and lengthy process that cannot be rushed, especially in withdrawal when crises will arise with some frequency.
One of the best therapists I knew was very reluctant to work on unraveling trauma with anyone on psychoactive medication. She believed this disadvantaged them within the process as much anyone who had a street drug addiction, with all of the chaotic behaviour associated with it. I understand this viewpoint now better than I ever did.
We are all uniquely different. Effective therapeutic modalities (if applicable at all) and catalysts for growth and behaviour change will be different for everyone. Some will be ready to undertake changes much quicker than others and all will progress at different rates. Some have advantages over others in terms of education, social background, economic background, access to support and heath care and emotional intelligence.
People who have experienced trauma on many levels throughout their life do not have a solid foundation on which to build progress and sustain it as many people do. It has to be learned / built from scratch. It takes much longer for such people, who may not be comprehended or tolerated well as a consequence. Such people are often very isolated and need support systems to access.
These differences in our experiences, starting points and susceptibility to change are important to acknowledge.
That said, I do not believe in colluding with people in behaviour that hurts them. I believe that as a community, we are a great source of knowledge and empowerment for others. I believe that the fact that people have somewhere like this site to be heard after numerous years of not being heard / being denied by GPs and psychiatrists is vital to growth.
We are all here to undertake healing and self care has to be of paramount concern for each and every one of us. Developing honest and healthy relationships here can facilitate this greatly. For those who are struggling or are getting stuck in this process, we can offer an example / lead by example of what is possible through our own stories and progress . We can also offer acceptance of their struggle as they perceive it to be (no one has the right to deny the experience of any other human being, in my opinion) and the compassion that we all need to feel as humans.
These are my thoughts on this matter. I felt the need to express them, after much consideration.
As always, I wish healing to all.