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  2. Alich

    Alich I cant live like this

    1. Not able 2 think straight 2. Very sensetive 2 cold en heat sound en smell 3. Lost of memmory 4. Depression 5. When i close my eyes en want 2 sleep my hands begone 2 sleep feeling needels over my body, eching head. 6. Chealings over my body if im emotional. 7. Lost of appeltide 8. Not able 2 cry or becomme angry 9. No consrtration. 10. Verry irritated 11. Pain in my knees en back en sholders. 12. A lot of gas in my stomic. 13 anxiety 14. Head whants 2 explode 15 sentive theeths  16 old scras are hureting againe. 17. Feeling i m not a life. 18. Clausterfouby in my own body 19.tremors
  3. altostrata- yes, I remember it helping at first. but I probably ruined it. I was trying to get ready and feel good enough for a new job and I started to up the dose each day but when that went wrong I immediately found this site and started to stick with the plan of taking a small small amount like I am now. It was helping at first I know it was. At this point I don't know if anything is helping. its my own fault. I cant control the panic and anxiety it feels impossible and I cant seem to get any consistent amount of sleep so I know that's making everything worse. All I want is for someone to knock me out for a few days. Give me some drug that would do that. But as relieving as that sounds it scares me to think what might happen at this point taking any other drug at any dose. I feel like the walking dead. I don't know what to do or if there is even an answer. the only person who can keep me calm is leaving my life. That's my fault so that's just added stress and worry/fear for me during a time I need someone to calm me the most. I get really scared every night. I don't know who or what to trust anymore. I'm sorry to be doing this. I don't want to hurt anyone or waste their time. sorry if I'm not making sense
  4. Centime

    Hypersomnia (sleeping a lot)

    I have hypersomnia too. It got serious when I started to taper off Paxil. I didn’t ascribe it to WD until I read this thread! I sleep about ten hours at night (I used to have insomnia), but stil feel very tired and often take a nap in the fternoon. I’m retired so I can do that—lucky. Sometimes I’m in bed for 12 hours!
  5. Junglechicken

    ☼ Junglechicken

    Thank you Frogie and Lg, But guess what? My HA is still bad, and now I think I have DVT because my left leg hurts.....have a little cyst-like thing which I should get checked out. Not yet out of the woods. TC, JC xxx
  6. Junglechicken

    ☼ Junglechicken

    Thank you Alto, Thats a huge compliment and means a lot. I'll shorten the signature ASAP, lol!
  7. Altostrata

    Dose Equivalents for Antidepressants and Second-Generation Antipsychotics

    ar, if you're physiologically dependent on Zyprexa, it's not a sure thing that you can swap in any amount of Seroquel. The equivalencies above are from medical journal sources, but they're still approximate.
  8. You have withdrawal syndrome. Stay calm. Many people here have been where you are and gotten through it. Please answer questions from the staff, it's important. When you reinstated 1mg Lexapro, that helped initially, correct? Did the symptoms get worse again? Read this to measure Lexapro more carefully. You can make a liquid, or get one by prescription. It's important you take a consistent dose at the same time each day. Tips for tapering off Lexapro (escitalopram)
  9. I know I was scared as well when I went back on Lexapro but try and stay positive because negative thoughts and emotions are not going to help anything get better. I'm sure everything is going to go just fine. You have a lot of great people here to help you through this. You got this!
  10. Altostrata- Thank you writing and even caring at all. I don't thinik I deserve it I measure the Lexapro by eye I guess. I cut the pill in half about 5 times and get it down to as close I can to a small maybe 1 mg size that you can barely see or feel taking. I'm waiting for my tiny scale I ordered to get here so I can measure it exactly. I take it along with 5 mg of melatonin at night around 10;30pm - 11pm. I don't really know how it makes me feel anymore. I don't even know if its helping at all. all I know is I'm scared to take any more because last time I did it was too much, I could feel the serotonin syndrome people describe and that was scary. I don't know if it was scarier than the panic attack and how I feel now. I don't know what is worse anymore. I don't feel much after I take it. I just try to go to sleep. Some night I get lucky I guess. the stars seems to align and I sleep through the night. Most times I cant sleep at all or if I do, I wake up in sheer panic like I cant breathe very shortly after I had fallen asleep. My stomach is in knot after knot after knot. My body feels like its rejecting itself. I cant think straight. I feel weak walk and sore like I would if I had worked out at the gym. NOthing seems to make sense at this point. To answer your question, the symptoms happen randomly but I would say mostly at night time. I live alone. I feel the fear and panic creep every so slightly at night because I know I cant sleep and if I don't I will go crazy like today and that usually is when I have the attacks. and my brain cant shake the feeling that I'm going to be alone and no one is around to help me if something goes wrong. I am taking fish oil and vitamin d3. I don't know how much that is helping. Altostrata - thank you for caring I'm sorry to let everyone down
  11. Okay, you need to get your doctors to deal with the parasite infection. alexjuice had that and recovered. He was terribly ill. You might send him a message and see if he has any suggestions.
  12. Altostrata

    Alich I cant live like this

    Why do they want you to take sertraline? If you've been taking oxazepam and flurazepam regularly, it's possible your depression is a side effect of these drugs. What times of day do you take your drugs, and at what dosages? What is your current daily symptom pattern? It's important that you answer our questions, or we can't help you.
  13. Tammylovesdogs - Thank you for writing me and for reading my story. I am in tears at this point, uncontrollable bouts of crying and panic attacks that cause my body to shake and tingle and make it hard to breathe. Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone. I can relate to what you are feeling. I think it lasted for about 5-6 days and the anger and rage turned into other crazy symptoms. But I remember feeling just like you said, wanting to punch people in the face. I think I felt even stronger feelings and just wanted to hurt people with my words and make them feel bad for some reason. it was like someone had sparked this fire inside me. I would get mad at people on the television and I remember getting really upset at this silly stupid game that I play on my phone, that I know is only there when I'm bored and I couldn't care less about it but for some reason I was getting even upset that I was losing some stupid game. Everything was setting me off. It has gone away though, and will for you as well. To me it seems like you might be a little stronger and wiser than me so I think you've got a good plan and are taking care of yourself well and handling it very well. I wish I could explain my "hater" to people, I love that. Your message means a lot, thank you for writing At this point I am at my wits end. I'm afraid I'm losing the battle. I didn't fall asleep until 8 am and only slept a couple hours. It really messes with my mind. I wake up in the impending doom like I'm going to die, having a struggle to breathe and move with feeling like I'm going to pass out. its almost impossible to shake. I feel like my body is shutting down on me and keeps telling myself youre going to die youre going to die. I'm absolutely pathetic because the only thing that I think of is talking to my friend that doesn't really want to be my friend anymore but I have no one else. I keep thinking if I lose her I might as well lose my life. There would be no reason to keep going especially in the shape I'm in. I am desperate. I am failing everyone here. Today I think I have to check in somewhere. some hospital, some doctor and I know what that means. I will have to go on another medication. it seems like that is the only way I can get through this. I am not as strong as people here. I wish I never went off the Lexapro. Its ruined everything. I'm so desperate I keep saying ill stay on the medication forever I don't care just make me feel okay again. I never want to go through this again. I feel like there is no way to win. I cant come off this stuff and living forevery always taking medication seems like scarry way to live so I don't know which is better or worse in the long run. I just know I cant hang on much longer. The panic attacks are constant. just like you said, any thought or anything at all can set it off and my body goes into shock. I've lost my job. I cant work. I'm losing my only friend. And I'm losing my mind with her. I should have been dead years ago anyways. so I can only feel grateful for the the few more years I had. Thank you for not letting me feel alone, atleast for a moment. I'm sorry I'm letting everyone down.
  14. ah, no. i haven't had any alcohol since jan 2017. about the temazepam i took it for 5 days in april and now for the past week. this has mostly been a nightmare for me. the mirtazapine seems to be harder getting off of then zoloft and zyprexa was in 2014. at least back then, i still had decent appetite and digestion after the hellish first few weeks of vomiting and brain zaps even though my sleep was awful afterwards. with the remeron, the headaches and nausea just seemed to stay. maybe it was because it was my second wd and my body has been weakened from 4+ years of wd already or maybe it's because of remeron's chemical make up, but it really tore up my stomach. i have spoken with a few others on a remeron facebook page who were dealing with the same lingering debilitating headaches and nausea, so it may be a slightly different beast coming off of than other meds. to make remeron wd matters worse, my parents who had said they would be around to help with groceries and getting to dr appts since i dont' drive( they live 4 miles away) just bought a retirement home in Arizona and were in the process of moving down there so they were trying to tie up loose ends. imagine being close to death with splitting headaches, nausea and brain swelling and non restorative sleep from remeron wd where you are almost too weak to leave the couch and then having your mom continually pestering you with texts about filling out paperwork for health insurance and food stamps or else about cleaning up my apartment because they (my parents) wanted to drop off an old love seat that they weren't taking with them!!! i told her several times that i was extremely ill so it was kind of ridiculous and maddening. then my bike, which is my only mode of transportation and how i get to the store and dr appts, got a flat. i have fixed bike tires before in better health, but i put the tube on wrong and it had a wobble to my tire when i pumped it up. i tried 5 times to get it right, but it kept coming out with a wobble. it's hard to follow youtube tire repair videos when your body is giving out from fatigue (i would view the video in my 3rd story apartment and then walk down to my apartment garage to try and fix the tire, but forget most of what i had seen by the time i got to the garage) i asked my father to help me take it to the nearest bike shop 8 miles away and i would just pay to have it fixed, but was asked why i couldn't fix it myself. my computer service went down for 2 days a few months back and i had texted my younger brother who lives in town and works in IT to see if he could order some peppermint oil pills from amazon for me that had been one of the few supplements that had helped me with my digestive issues. i told him i could send him a check. i got a text back saying " why don't you get a job? you never do anything for yourself" i actually go out to golf courses on bike around 30 hours a week in the spring and fall (pre remeron wd) and hunt golf balls and then sell them online . considering how poor my sleep and bowel function is, its something. i texted him back asking what the attitude was for and got a text back saying it "wasn't attitude but a 'reality check' " i had money to send to him for the pills, so, yeah, my support system has been rather lacking. between my family's support and what the doctors have been doing for me- nothing, even if it's a non wd related issue like with digestive system, it's been rather trying over here. i had posted on here before about how i did a pumpkin seed cleanse two months ago. you take raw pumpkin seeds and make a puree and eat it. the next day i did a salt water cleanse and found a toilet bowl of around 200 clear 1/2" worms (either hookworm or pork tapeworm) which may explain some of my digestive issues- iron deficiency anemia, excessive after meal fatigue (like what Compsports used to suffer with), bloating, gastroparesis, labored breathing and fatigue, and an awful fecal odor coming from my lungs on days my bowels get backed up. between getting doctors to care about wd and now parasite infection i basically feel like i am the sole resident of crazy town. anyhow, sorry to go on. hopefully these posts have been of some informational value. poetjester
  15. Kev93

    Kev93: 3 months off Sertraline

    That makes a lot of sense . I think I was setting a deadline just for a little hope. Some days I can see how far I've come but of course the bad days make me doubt the improvement.
  16. Alich

    Alich I cant live like this

    Hoi my parents and my pdoc wants two put me on sertraline. If i dont take the meds my parents whants 2 put me out home. Can it cet worse if i takw them.
  17. You're very welcome. Yes, it's been said that the ssri era is going to go down in history as a very un-enlightened time in "medicine." Thankfully, we here on this site are going to free ourselves. : ) I am so, so glad you're going to stabilize for a while. It really, really is beneficial. And you're feeling better each day, which is an excellent sign. As our JanCarol says, "Holding is a blessing." By the way, I don't see you inordinately complaining about slowly tapering. You're allowed to feel impatient--it's part of the process--and the good news is, a) even though you might feel impatient, you're wisely choosing to hold, then go slowly; and b) the more gently you taper, things really do improve as you go down (with waves and windows of course, but generally better). Keep letting us know how you're doing!
  18. Its only a night ... Last night was bad .. Today .. I suffered sever irritation ..now feeling too .. Suddenly indigestion .. Tightness.. Etc etc etc.. I now hate to put here things. They don't stay.
  19. Littlegrandma

    ☼ Junglechicken

    WooHoo JC!!😎 awesome!
  20. arwilliams

    Dose Equivalents for Antidepressants and Second-Generation Antipsychotics

    @DoctorMussyWasHere do you know of these dosages hold true between Zyprexa and seroquel for sedation? I have crazy insomnia when stopping 2.5mg of Zyprexa. If 1mg of Zyprexa is 75mg of seroquel then well Seroquel is going to be a lot easier to taper with or with out a precision scale.
  21. I cannot stress enough that if you have had a bad reaction or withdrawal symptoms from any psychiatric drug (or, for that matter, any psychoactive substance), your nervous system is probably sensitized and you should not experiment with other psychoactive substances, whether they're touted as "miracle" drugs or not. Psychoactive drugs are trendy now to treat so-called psychiatric disorders. The glowing reviews you read are from people who have not had adverse reactions to them and whose nervous systems probably are not compromised by previous drug use. This is very important to remember: If your nervous system has been sensitized by withdrawal, whatever psychotherapeutic effect supplements, herbs, adaptogenics, and hallucinogenics might have DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU. Experimentation with psychoactive substances is for people whose nervous systems are stable. If you do it, you could make yourself a lot worse, and the only remedy is to cope with your symptoms until they go away. We don't have any magic potions for you. If you have a bad reaction to a psychedelic or other street drug, since you hurt yourself despite our warnings and we probably can't help you, you may be asked to leave SurvivingAntidepressants.org. SurvivingAntidepressants.org is a site for going off psychiatric drugs. If you feel compelled to discuss experimentation with psychoactive substances in depth, please join a site such as http://www.bluelight.org/vb/content/ We take no responsibility for anything you might learn there or any encouragement you might get to experiment with drugs.
  22. For U.S. members: The Western Mass RLC, located in Massachusetts, has a wonderful peer support line. Toll Free: 888.407.4515 Hours are Fri-Mon, 8p.m. to midnight EST (but in June 2018 will expand to daily from 7pm-10pm, yay!). It is staffed by peer support specialists who have "been there." I have called to discuss and get support for my withdrawal experiences. They know about and recommend SA too--they usually say, "Have you ever heard of the site, Surviving Antidepressants?" : ) From their Web site: As opposed to a crisis line that is answered by a clinician and focuses on whether or not you may qualify for hospitalization or respite, a peer support line is answered by a trained peer worker who has their own lived experience (with a psychiatric diagnosis, trauma, extreme or altered states, etc.) and who is there to talk and offer support. I can personally highly recommend this resource.
  23. Frogie

    ☼ Junglechicken

    Congratulations on the "sun". You deserve It! Take care, Frogie xx
  24. Frogie

    When to end the taper and jump to zero?

    Thanks Brass: Like you said, I thought that would be a good place to start thinking about it. I don't want to get into where I'm going down to like .00045 and numbers like that. I can always go down to .08 like you did. I'll just need help getting that number in liquid if and when the time comes. But I'm looking at another 6-7 months before I'm even there. I hope you will be around to help me when the time comes. Have a great weekend. I'm putting one foot in front of the other and trying my best. Still sad though, but it's only been 2 weeks and I had her in my life 16 years. Haven't been on the site much, but saw this thread and it interested me. Take care, Frogie xx
  25. Waterfall

    Waterfall: Introduction

    Had trouble settling last night. Lots of anxiety and panic yesterday. Fell asleep about 11:20. Woke up again just short of 6:15 with a horrible cortisol spike. Worst I've had in a long time. First thing I was aware of was my heart pounding. Then my chest hurting. Then I was hot and my feet were burning, then my hands. So then it was a fight to lay still and calm. But there was no going back to sleep this morning. I did manage to get up and do a little bit of tidying. I didn't get anything done yesterday. Thankfully my husband has been able to do the bus run. But I'm frustrated that I didn't do it yesterday aft, or this morning. Today is sports day for the kids, and I'm missing it. After I got a few things done, and ate a slice of toast with egg for breakfast, I took a nap in my chair. It really is hard for me to hold still. But it seems that if I do, I fall asleep. Anyway. Now I have to try get lunch for me and the little dude. Did I mention that I am bummed to be missing sports day? For the skinny dude, it's his first. The dudette would love it if I was there. The big dude? Well, he just wishes it wasn't sports day at all. If anything, he's glad it's today, so that it will be over by tomorrow. Silly guy. I used to love sports day, myself. Back when I could actually run... Not that I ever had a lot of stamina, but I came from a small school, and did okay. My best was the triple jump. And I was okay in a sprint too. My worst was the endurance runs, and the arm strength stuff, like shot put. I was always better with accuracy and with things that involved my legs, more than my arms. Though I used to be able to lift 50 lbs, at least. When I used to have a production job, running machines. But I can't do any of that now. I can barely do the dishes and the laundry. And supervise my kids. I wish I could have more kids, but getting pregnant again would probably do me in. I can barely survive doing almost nothing. Sigh. At least I'm not panicking non-stop today. The nap was nice. Except the crick I got in my neck. And the fact that my chest and legs still hurt... But on the whole, I'm a bit better than yesterday. I was dreading having another day like yesterday. The whole last three days have been pretty rough. I just have to see if I can catch up on laundry and dishes. And I have to remind myself that my parents weren't always at MY sports day, and there aren't picture records of everything that -I- did, and I still have good memories of those things, and I'm none the worse for wear from missing what I feel my kids are missing today. I'm sure they'll tell me all about it when they get home. Stiff upper lip, girl. Life will go on. And I -will- feel better again. I will. I will. If I keep saying it, maybe I'll believe it. And if I make it through today. And tomorrow. One of these days, I get a window. And then I get another one. And then more of them. And they get longer, and better, and more frequent, until someday, it's not what I think about every day. And life goes on. So there! Take -that- doldrums! (Man, listening to me, you'd never know how often I wish I could quit, or that I was laying in bed, dreaming up plans to go to the ER, dreams where they would actually find something wrong, and they would fix it, and I'd finally feel better, and... then I'd run into the fact that no, they won't even test me for anything, they'll say it's all in my head, and it's just a chemical imbalance, and clearly I need drugs, and... then it becomes a nightmare, and.... yeah.) So hey, here's hoping you're all having a better day out there! Even just a tiny bit better than yesterday, one little bit better at a time, at a manageable level, until we find we're living life again. Without thinking about withdrawal all the time. Look out world! Here I ... hobble!!!
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