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  1. Hello. I am a 28 year old woman and I was basically bullied into taking Citalopram when I was 17 as I was told if I didn't I wouldn't get the psychotherapy for the depression/anxiety that I so badly needed. I never did get the therapy and instead ended up becoming dependent on the Citalopram. I kept begging to come off it or come down, but every time I had a mental health crisis, instead of offering talking therapy or other support, the first thing to change was my Citalopram. I ended up on the full 60mg at the worst point. I hated how the Citalopram made me feel, I used to be a very creative person, able to write and draw, plus my feelings have all 'died'. I am autistic too, so feelings aren't something I can understand too well, so losing them has made things much harder for me. A very nice psychiatrist at the private facility where I lived helped me to withdraw from the Citalopram, however I felt that it was too rushed considering I had been on it for about 5 years at this point. By the time I had tapered off to the smallest dose, I was already feeling incredibly irritable, shaky, nauseous and getting horrific 'brain zaps' and convulsive movements. I was put on Fluoxetine liquid to calm the effect off, but again got forgotten in the system and stayed on it. I have now been on the Fluoxetine for 6 years and I hate it. I feel literally nothing except for extreme sadness or extreme happiness. Everything in between just feels really 'meh'. Basically it's got to a point where the side-effects are outweighing the benefits. I am still feeling incredibly depressed, suffering from severe anxiety (which I believe is worsened by the Fluoxetine) and generally feel like I have been run over by a truck most days in pain and tired. Today I read an article about SSRIs and how professionals are finally admitting they can cause severe side effects. I can no longer live my life feeling so lifeless and dead inside. I am not planning to do anything rash, as I know what trying to come off an SSRI too fast can do. What I am most concerned about is discussing this withdrawal with a psychiatrist. I feel like they (the one's I have seen) are reluctant to help you come off medication. They seem determined to not only keep you on it, but to then increase the dose (Oh currently on 40mg). I am also concerned that if we do go ahead with this, my psychiatrist will attempt to rush me through it again. From what I am reading on various mental health support sites, this is not recommended! So hi everyone, I hope I can learn interesting stuff and help you guys while you help me. I will update when I know more.
  2. Hello, this is so hard to type as I feel like I have entered this new world which is so foggy and distressing. It has been two months since I quit Prozac as I felt like I could deal with life now. I was being treated for anxiety and was prescribed 10 mg. I only took 10mg!! I refused to up my dose when my doctor told me and I am glad I did because just this is a huge nightmare. I only took it for 2-3 months. I had some issues such as agitation and irritability but it went away and then the worst (I thought at the moment came) which was anhedonia one month after I weaned off. I had a complete lack of emotions and tried to carry on with life, I honestly don't know what I did, if I ignored it but by 2-3 weeks it went away. I was so happy and free and I thought it was over but last week I had something that I feel like has been ruining me and I don't know if this is withdrawal or something else. I am experiencing derealization, I look at my parents I just see their faces moving. Everything feels odd and bizarre. I've tried doing the same thing but mixing this with anxiety and depression has led me to suicidal ideation because If the whole world is unreal then what is the point of me being here. I find myself not caring about whether If I die or not. I have emotions but I'm constantly questioning if they are real. I wish I never took that Prozac if the whole world really is an illusion than I would rather be ignorant about it like I was before this. The worst part is that I feel so alone. Even when I'm telling my parents and they hug me and try to confront me I just don't feel like it is real. I am honestly so tired and spaced out. I probably won't take my life only because it will happen to me regardless so I guess I'd just rather wait it out and see what happens even though I honestly don't think this mindset will change. Even this textpost feels unreal. I don't know what I need. I need these memories to go away of questioning everything. I have hope that maybe in a few decades they will invent something where they can choose which memories to wipe out and create new ones or wake up and just carry on with life. This state is a nightmare I would not wish it on anyone. All of the derealization started after immense anxiety and stress for a few days when I was sick then I started to freak out about the fact that I haven't had my period for 3 months (another symptom btw), panic attacks and more anxiety and questioning reality led me to this state now. I just don't care anymore. Yes I have had time where I have felt happier during this as you all have described it as Windows during these days where I get motivated to feel better and get some sense of relief but I still see everything as odd and I have a wicked headache. Oh and the best thing... I am only 17 years old I feel like a zombie. Help me. Stuck in this odd world
  3. Hi everyone, TLDR: 1. Is 10mg of fluoxetine a day a reasonable starting dose for someone who's been trying unsuccessfully to taper at 40mg per week? 2. Could the days of missing doses been causing my nervous system harm, considering fluoxetine's half life i.e. is skipping days feasible with fluoxetine tapering? Edit: My longest steady dose (over the 3 years) of fluoxetine was 20mg per day but I am not sure, my memory is hazy. The long story: I've been on fluoxetine for about 3 years. Over the last 10 months, I've had a very disrupted dosing of fluoxetine. My best period was last December when I was happy on 40mg of fluoxetine weekly but my doctor told me to stop suddenly, which I did. Early this year I was back on fluoxetine and taking it for the most part daily. However, I craved the happy balance I had taking it weekly as I had minimal side effects (mostly sleeping too much) but I was able to practise my CBT effectively for my OCD. Sadly, since May I've had a few bad attempts at reducing my dose and this was all before I learned about tapering properly. I had just thought tapering made sense so I tried it my own way but I was not prepared for the horrible withdrawal symptoms I've had recently. Last month I was on as little as 40mg every two weeks but I think I've been feeling the aftermath of that recently. I updosed (again before learning about this site and tapering properly) and I went on daily fluoxetine at 20mg for a couple of weeks. The last month I was on 40mg each week and I found symptoms were bad around day 5/6. So, having found this website, I want to taper properly. Each time I had a withdrawal symptom I always ran back to fluoxetine like a good little addict and up-dosed like an ignorant buffoon. In any case, I am ready for the 10% taper and have invested in a Gemini 20. I will dry cut for the first few months. I am just deciding what my current/starting dose should be because I've made such a mess of things over the last few months and with fluoxetine's long half life, it is hard to know where I am. My proposition is: Starting today, taking 10mg per day (I got tablets from the pharmacy as opposed to pills so I can divide them easily). I'm sorry for my messy post but my record keeping has been regular but erratic this year so I am piecing bits together to get a picture of what the hell I've been doing with this powerful drug. Thank you all for this place. I've read so much the last week and it is nice to know people are going through what I am and are doing so well.
  4. Hello! My husband was on 40mg of fluoxetine (generic Prozac) for about 3 months. Long story short (I posted most of the story in the marriages ruined by ssri's thread) he started displaying symptoms of a hypomanic state. He agreed to get off the medication. We made an appointment with his doctor and with his therapist. A few days before his dr appointment he started taking 20mg. His doctor told him that fluoxetine has such a long half life that it's basically self tapering. He advised him to skip one day, take another pill and then he could just stop. I'm worried after reading a lot that he's going to experience withdrawal symptoms. He took his last dose 6 days ago. If he starts feeling withdrawal symptoms when will they show? What should I look for? The doctor said all the medication will be out of his system in 30 days. How long will it take for him to go back to his normal self?
  5. Hi, I am new to this forum. I’ve tried to get everything I remember into my signature. Things are really foggy these days. My initial impulse, now that I’m posting an entry here, is to just write: Help! — I’m sinking and I need help. But I’ll try to modulate that a bit and give my history. I’m on Month 5 of Prozac withdrawal, and my second week of no Benzos whatsoever after a few months of tapering off. I only recently discovered this site and I’ve come to realize that I might have not given myself enough time to taper off Prozac. I went off of it over the course of a month too. I have suffered on and off from depression my whole life, with a number of major , debilitating, long depressive episodes. And I have been on lots of SSRIs over the years. About six or seven years ago, after a merry go round of new meds and accompanying new side effects, I went off of psych meds altogether without too much withdrawal trouble . I continued to battle depression but I tried alternative treatments such as nutrition/supplements and neurofeedback along with CBT, which helped me just keep my head above water. Then, 3 years ago, I had a particularly bad spell. I lost my business. Dropped out of a relationship and friendships. In consultation with my psychiatrist, I made the decision of going on Prozac as a last ditch effort. And the prozac helped I think. At the time I remember thinking that it saved my life. Now I'm not so sure it was worth it. No big surprise, The Prozac stopped working after two years or so. And then I was just stuck. I was reluctant to try another SSRI for fear of going through the trial and error test to find something that works without bad side effects. And afraid to go off. Then, this year,l I learned that SSRIs cause the brain to decrease it's serotonin production. Since the Prozac didn't seem to be helping anyway, It seemed the direction to go was OFF the prozac and get through the withdrawal. I didn't think it would be so bad since I had gone off of SSRIs before. I was so wrong. Now I’m in a nightmare. The nightmare many people have written about here. At least after finding this site, I have a bit more understanding of what I’m going through. I have had the leg cramps at night that wake me up. I Simply can’t sleep. I get maybe 2-4 hours a night if I’m lucky. I’m agitated. I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin. I have a continual apocalyptic narrative in my head underscoring everything I do. I despair. I Hate myself and my life. I’m in my 50’s and all I can see are the horrible things about growing old and being alone. I can hardly watch TV because it just offers more material for me to churn through my negative, hopeless perspective. TV used to be an escape. Not anymore. This isn’t like the depression I’ve known most of my adult life. This is like going crazy. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think I can handle more of this. Let alone years more of this. The people on this site are the only ones who have any clue what this is like. I don’t now what to do. Should I go back on antidepressants? My psychiatrist and psychologist think that meds are a necessary evil. I am taking Trazodone for sleep, which I dread getting hooked on so I avoid it if at all possible. And my psychiatrist told that I can take 10 mg of valium a day, no problem, for the anxiety and panic. But I don’t trust that. I’ve gone off of Valium because from what I've read I think that it will just make things worse in the long run. It’s so confusing getting conflicting information from medical professionals. Any advice anyone has about ANY part of this , would be welcome. I have been on the verge of going into an inpatient facility for the last few weeks, but I hesitate because I know they will insist on reinstating some SSRI. Thanks very much.
  6. Hi, I'm writing as the mother of a 21 year old son who was medicated throughout his childhood (age 6-18) for what his doctor described as the most severe case of OCD he had ever seen in a child that age. His life has always been difficult; before he was put on medication, his OCD was so severe he could barely leave the house, eat a meal, or even get dressed without major compulsions taking over. It was heartbreaking to watch, and I have to admit the medication did successfully manage his compulsions for many years. Unfortunately, he really started to degenerate by the age of 17, and the meltdowns he dealt with all his life became more frequent and more severe. The doctor told us the meltdowns were a symptom of OCD, and began to experiment with atypical antipsychotics. We finally took him to an intensive adolescent OCD clinic at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, where they put him on Geodon. It nearly killed him. Now he has been off of all medications for over 2 1/2 years, but of course we knew nothing and he was tapered off everything way too fast. He has been in withdrawal from one medication or another for over 3 years, and is quite disabled. His worst symptoms are inability to concentrate, depression, emotional numbness, sensory hypersensitivity, facial parasthesia, inability to deal with daily stressors, craffing (crying and laughing at the same time) and PGAD. The good news is that he no longer experiences OCD. About 3 years ago (before coming of Prozac), we eliminated gluten, dairy and corn from his diet, and within 10 days he started to sleep through the night for the first time in his life, have daily bowel movements, and a variety of tics he'd had for years vanished. He continued to have meltdowns and panic attacks until this last September when we went on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet. Now he's had only 2 small panic attacks in the past 8 months While my son really does not want to focus his own attention on his situation by reading posts on this website, I've been lurking here for quite a while now and have found a lot of guidance and support. I realize that we made many mistakes along the way, and I'm doing the best I can to not live in constant guilt. I would love to hear from others who have been medicated through childhood and were able to recover. I really need some hope.
  7. Hi all, My name is Mona. I was given Prozac in December of 2011, following several panic attacks will palpitations. I was told to gently begin taking Prozac, so I started with emptying the contents of the pill and taking 1/3 a day (approx 4mg). I noticed that when I tried to increase my dose I would feel more anxious. So I never did. For over 4 years I was on aproxx 4 mg a day. Doctors laughed when I told them how much I was taking and would all say 'that's not enough to have a significant effect'. But I know my body and I know it is very sensitive to medication but also tolerates it fairly well. 4 years later, December 2015, I began getting night shifts and day shifts (mix) at work so naturally I began forgetting and skipping doses. I didn't think it was a big deal. In December I noticed 'facial tightness' and like my throats was tight and I was choking. I saw the ENT specialist and he said it's probably anxiety, take more Prozac. Over the next few months, and into the current year, my anxiety began creeping up on me. I kept seeing the doctors and they kept telling me to take more Prozac. I never mentioned my inconsistency with the Prozac but at this point I'd only take it when I remembered. In July 2016, I finally gave in. I slowly increased my dose and by July 15th I was taking an entire 10mg capsule. Think it's too little to make a difference?.....within 3 days of me taking an entire 10mg capsule a day I had my first panic attack in 4.5 years. Heart palpitations and all, couldn't breathe, pins and needles on my lips face and legs. I quit Prozac cold turkey after that. 15-ish days later (August) , I began having very strange sensations I still have as I am writing this. They're not constant but come and go, fluctuate in severity and seem to have no cause for flare and no cure. Numbness and tinglyness of palms, arms, legs Migraines and headaches (never had these in my life prior!) Nausea Stiff neck and painful upper back (chronic) Heat sensations at random points on my arms Brain fog Fatigue and muscle weakness (sometimes so severe I feel I'm being crushed by an invisible stone) Stomach pains Tingling lips Random twitches (of muscles that never twitched before) The fatigue scares me the most. It feels debilitating. My life in the last 2.5 months has been very different than before. I haven't enjoyed or done many things I normally would. The doctors are puzzled. All my tests come back clear, even my heart. The doctors want to leave it all at Fibromyalgia and General Anxiety Disorder. But I believe I have having withdrawals. There's not much on withdrawal symptoms I have found.....not as much as on side effects. Does anyone here, based on their own story, think that it could be the Prozac? Your answers are invaluable to me at this point of my life. I greatly appreciate any feedback, suggestions and encouragement. I cry in frustration and sadness almost everyday. I feel the only anxiety in my life is from these debilitating symptoms. Please help.
  8. Hi All, My name is Alex. I've recently joined this forum to ask for advice and hopefully meet people who have suffered / are going through what I am currently. I was diagnosed with depression & anxiety by my GP 2 years ago. I was advised to start a course of antidepressants, citalopramto be specific. I experienced some pretty nasty physical symptoms with this (sweating, irritability, headaches, lack of sleep) and so my doctor moved me onto Fluoxetine. My dose over the next few weeks was quickly increased to 60mg per day. After two years I finally started to feel better. During a holiday I missed a couple of doses and, foolishly after not experiencing side effects, took it upon myself to discontinue my medication altogether. The first three weeks were fine, so I thought. I didn't notice anything too drastic and though I must have truly recovered. However, over the last couple of weeks I've felt a change, something my friends and colleagues have also noticed. I'm more withdrawn, I'm anxious, I can barely look people in the eye. I'm having some very dark thoughts and can barely see the positive in anything. I'm desperate for recommendations on what to do, should I start taking my medication again? I have little faith in my GP, he's not particularly supportive, nor empathetic. I hope if anything I can get some advice. Really need it. Thanks, Alex
  9. I am in serious need of help. I don't know where to turn. I have to apologize if I am on the wrong thread but my post is out of desperation. I started taking fluoxetine capsules in 2011 to treat my OCD and was on for about 2 years. Throughout the 2 years I was in a difficult place and must admit that I misused the drug, sometimes taking more than I should have. I discontinued use cold turkey because I got pregnant in 2013. In 2014, about 6 months after the birth of my daughter, I was prescribed the same dosage for PPD (no more OCD) and discontinued again cold turkey after about 3 months. In 2015 I was prescribed again fr depression and only took 1 pill before deciding I no longer wanted to take this medication. Here I am about 9 months later and I am having depression, anxiety and headaches as well as extreme fatigue. Is this a result of discontinutation or simply the return of the PPDor depression? wouould it be beneficial to begin taking the medication again and slowly be tapered off? or is that just going to bring me right back to where I am today?
  10. Hi everyone, I'm new here. I've been searching the internet for days for some sort of support group and I've finally found you. Okay I'll give a brief history. I've been on antidepressants since I was 17, I'm 32 now. My first AD was prozac which didn't work at the time, so I was then put on Venelaxfine which worked but made me slightly manic. I was on Venelaxafine from 2002 until 2006 I think. I was then put on cipralex, then after a bad break up where I couldn't sleep or eat I was put on Mirtazapine which I wasn't on for long, then I was on citalopram and then we did a full circle back to prozac. I was on prozac for around 7 years, it was great stuff for me. I got over my break up, found a job, made friends and have been very happy. Over the last year I have been finding myself become more and more anxious, it felt like an internal anxious that I couldn't control at all. So after a bad anxiety attack over 3 weeks ago I went back to the doctors who prescribed me a double dose of prozac (so from 20mg to 40mg). I took this for a few days but my anxiety was 100 times worse so my mum suggested just coming off them for a few days to see how I felt. The strange thing was after coming off my anxiety went. I wasn't feeling that constant adrenaline feeling that I had been feeling for months or even a year. I went back to the Drs and they gave me sertraline as I was afraid of coming off everything all together. I was given a low dose of 25mg sertraline. I was on sertraline for 2 days and I noticed that my vision in one eye had gone and I couldn't see very well and the pupil in that eye had gone huge, compared to the other eye pupil which was a normal size. So I came off. As I came off on the weekend I couldn't see a doctor for a few days, when I did see a doctor and explained what had happened and that I was really worried because I'd come off cold turkey. He asked how I felt and I told him I felt fine. I had been dizzy, headachey and had odd dreams and the odd little bit of panic before sleeping, but nothing too bad. So I've been off prozac for 10days now and completely off sertraline for 4 days. I'm hoping to stay off the ADs completely now. I am nervous because I couldn't find online any people that had experienced coming off prozac. I'm taking B complex supplements, flaxseed oil, magnesium and l-lysine supplements to see if it will help. I'm so worried that when the prozac is out of my system completely and I level that I will be depressed again, but right now I feel good and positive, just really nervous.
  11. ***Apologies for the length and how disjointed this post is. My brain feels like scrambled eggs lately. ha*** Hi all. I am glad to find a place of support while going thru this as I feel very much alone and afraid. I guess I will start by copying and pasting my drug and W/D history that I had to type up during registration. I do not have the strength or brain power to do it again right now. I will just highlight the recent, pertinent bits of my history. Last 6 years as follows: *2010-2012 10mg Lexapro. Withdrew. Off for 4 months./hard W/d but did ok. *2012-2013 Wellbutrin XL 150mg.Off and on a couple times by itself and later to offset Zoloft side effects. No issues withdrawing, but it increases my anxiety when on it. Otherwise, it was the "nicest" AD ive been on. *2013-2014 Zoloft 50mg.On it a year and a half. Went off due to 30# weight gain and sexual issues. Difficult W/d but somehow got thru. Stayed off A/D for about 4 months again. *Tried Buspar. 2 weeks before I had to stop due to the intense anger it caused. *2015-recently Back to Lexapro 10mg for 10 months. Worked ok but I wanted off meds. Tried to taper from 10mg to 5mg in Late Jan/Feb 2016. Was great for first 4 weeks or so before it hit me. Went thru 3 weeks of bad, cant get off the couch situation before reinstating at 10mg. Helped for about a week or so. Then way back down in depression. Psych put up to 15mg. Same thing. Then 20mg. Which I did NOT handle well at all. Developed RLS type symptoms etc. Went back down to 15. Then 10. RLS type stuff went away.Did a "prozac bridge" to taper the rest of the way off from 10 to 5 to 0 of Lexapro.Been off Lexapro since 5/7/2016 *2016- Prozac 10mg to help get off the lexapro. Started it on 4/30/2016. Seemed to tolerate the 10mg Prozac then bumped it up to 20mg at Psychs suggestion. Did not tolerate well at all. RLS type stuff came back. Heart palpatations, weepiness, excessive tiredness. Went back to 10mg. Then 10mg every other day then 0mg as of 5/31//2016 Still have RLS. *2010-2016 Xanax (anywhere from 3mg a day back in 2010 when I first started Lexapro down to .25 in the am and .5 at bedtime currently. ) *Not sure it is relevent but I went off Prilosec at the same time I started tapering the Lexapro* Symptoms since this started: Major depression Hopelessness Back pains off and on Restless legs/Akathisia? Lethargy Loss of interest in pretty much everything I loved Disconnected from myself Loss of appetite Irritability Personal Info; 45 year old female. 3 kids, 25,22 and 19. Ex military spouse for 20 years. No longer in marriage. In a relationship with a wonderful man. Now thats out of the way, I must say this is by far the worst and longest W/D and mental episode I have ever had. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but mostly am an anxiety sufferer. GAD and Social Anxiety. I thought I knew what depression was before this year. I thought anxiety was worse than depression. I was CLUELESS. This mess over the last 5 or so months has rendered me basically useless and hopeless. I have no hope over anything, no interest in anything. Ifeel like a waste. I have the weird RLS/Akathisa thing going on which I never had before. It makes getting a good nights rest so hard, which in turn makes it all worse. I spend everyday just trying to drag myself thru the day. Which drags on forever. I was a stay at home mom for YEARS and I am currently unemployed. I have lived in my current city for 5 years and I have no friends here and my kids are grown (they live about an hour and a half away) so I am trying to deal with loneliness on top of this other stuff. My boyfriend does not have a big family here either so thats not an option. I want to move closer to my family but cant until he can sell the house here which will be at least another year. I am introverted so usually it does not bother me THAT much but the since I have been going thru this mess, it really weighs on me. I do not want to off myself, but most everyday I wonder why I am even bothering to stay around and go thru this. I feel so ran down.I do not want to die so please dont think that is what I am saying. It is just that even having those feelings scares the crap out of me. This hopeless disinterest scares me. As I said, I have never felt like this for very long (maybe a week or 2 max) and never this intense till I tried to get off the meds this time. The other W/Ds i went thru were a cake walk compared to this. My psychiatrist is no help. He pretty much asks me what I want to do. So I have lost all faith in him. I did CBT for a year. From 2010 to around 2011. Then I moved 800 miles and lost my therapist, of course. I currently live in a very small rural town and would have to travel at least an hour to see a therapist and that is not possible. That is all I have to the energy to write at the moment. Again, my apologies for being so scattered. I hope this is just withdrawal. This is NOT me, this is NOT how I usually am. It is so scary right now. I am telling myself to just hang in there awhile longer and let the W/D do its nasty thing and it will get better. I feel like I am dissapointing my family because 5 months out, I am still a wreck. I just want to be me again. I want to do the things I loved and be loving and make jokes all the time. Not be trapped inside myself, feeling like I am being held hostage and drained of happiness and energy and life. If anyone has anything to say, any advice, ANYTHING, PLEASE please please feel free to say it. I just feel so alone in this. And HUGS to all of you that are going thru this too. I hope we all feel better soon. Thanks Jujube
  12. I have been on 23 psychiatric medications over 20 years, some more than once, and endured many uncomfortable side effects as a result (ended up in the ER once where I was approached with disdain and told I should have just stopped taking the medication and “rode it out” at home). The few times I havd tried to stop to say I felt horrible would be an understatement (ended up in the ER here too where I was just provided with the very medications I was trying to stop taking). The longest I lasted off of medication was 3 months before going right back on them to alleviate what I was feeling. It did not occurr to me that what I was feeling might be “discontinuation ayndrome” or “protracted withdrawal”. I just assumed I was unable to function without medications and doctors did not say otherwise. The few times I went off of medications there were minimal instructions, no talk of what to expect or how to alleviate what occurred…even when I asked I recieved vague ambiguous answers. Two months ago I decided, “enough is enough”, after experiencing unpleasant side effects on 100mg of lamictal. I had started at 25mg in the beginning of April 2016 and was up to 100mg by the end of May 2016. So in July I began tapering. At the time I started a new job and my insurance hadn’t kicked in. I could not afford my doctor’s fees, but I knew it was the lamictal causing me to feel ill and was very uncomfortable, so I went about it myself. I tapered for one month and experienced some withdrawal, but nothing horrendous and was off of it entirely for 3 weeks with little trouble. Last week I began to feel worse than I have ever felt. My brain is in a fog…I can’t remember things and keep zoning out. I feel deeply lost in my head…almost as if I were zapped with electricity. I am highly emotional and agitated. I just want to be alone. Everything annoys me…lights, sounds, people. Having crying jags, quick mood swings, a slight tremor, and weakness in my extremities, paranoia, hopelessness, absolute terror (keep waking up sweating and terrified), heart palpitations, slight cough amd flu-like feeling, restlessness, stomach issues,just want to sleep, weird sensations, the list goes on. I’m not sure of how I can continue to work like this. I sit in my office and either cry or nap, then pull it together when I have to interact with someone. I am not sure of how to determine if this is just mee off of medication and I really do need to be on medication or if this is me experiencing “withdrawal”. My insurance only covers “typical psychiatrists” who will probably suggest the next med. I would love to see a holistic psychiatrist because they would look ay my whole being…test my hormones, genetics, etc among various other things that typical psychiatrists don’t take into account, including reccomend supplements/diet changes to ease withdrawal. However, the cheapest I have found so far asks $650 for consultation and $450 each visit after. I do not work in a field that is lucrative and I can't afford this. So basically now I feel like it’s just another experiment on my body to contend with only I have no guidance. I am reading about supplements and started taking ashgawanda, but without fancy testing how do I even know what to supplement??? There are so many options (5-htp, SAMe, l-tryptophan, licorice, gaba, st. John’s wort, vit b, vit d, ltheazine, fish oil to name just a few I have read about) and I don’t want to keep toying around with my body. Basically I feel lost and angry and just needed to vent. I joined Kelly Brogan’s Vital Mind Reset program yesterday so I am hoping that helps somehow. I am so jittery and unfocused I can’t seem to get started. I just wish I had a little more guidance. I hate our psych system with a passion today. I’m scared that this will last forever and wish I could afford the treatment I need.
  13. Hi All, I'm feeling so fortunate to have stumbled upon this site. I've read several books, research papers, and blogs over the past two months. I haven't had a chance to do a signature or proper intro yet, but will get to that as soon as I can. I'm tapering prozac and lamictal and down to 20 mg and 150 mg, respectively, and so far so good. There are weird symptoms that I wonder if others have experienced and will get to that later. Right now I'm wondering if anyone has found something to ease the alcohol cravings? While the prozac was at 40 mg beginning of August, and it's down by half, I feel like such a lush still. While it is a relief to know it's probably due to the bleeping prozac, I don't want to keep drinking a 6 pack of 9% beer on weekend nights...sometimes during the week too. Thank you in advance for any info you can provide.
  14. Hello, warriors! Thanks for having me. I've been perusing this site for years, and the HOPE it offers is priceless. I have a few questions. 1. It's over now, but I'm curious: I tapered 10 mg from March 2015-Nov. 2015, at 1 MG a month. Was that too fast? 2. I've tested for high cortisol at noon, evening (6 PM), and bedtime, making it nearly impossible to get normal sleep. How long did your raised cortisol last after you withdrew from your SSRI? I have read that this issue resolves itself eventually; I'm just wondering how long it took for you. I appreciate any insight you have.
  15. Hello I'm new to this site. I was on Prozac since I was about 28 recently over about six months tapered off with the help of my doc. When I was on them I was like a machine and became quite professionally successful, was this sparky but 2D version of myself. But then I think something clicked about five years ago and I was like the medicated and depressed but also really angry and irritable in the mornings. Sometimes I think I had a couple of bipolar episodes of doing things like cheating on my husband etc without really being aware what I was doing or the consequences and (I'm not blaming the meds but...) I look back and think how did I not think through some of the things I was doing? I wonder if I couldn't feel negative emotions as red flags that signalled 'CONSEQUENCES AHEAD..' Now, I am terrified of all the emotions am feeling as I haven't felt any real emotions in so long. The only things that help for me are running for 30 minutes in the morning followed by ten mins mindfulness meditation and a little yoga. Even then, whenever I get under some work pressure or feel a little down, I instantly think 'OMG I need to get on those pills as I will get depressed again.' But it does pass. What I love is not being tired all the time, not being apathetic about anything other than work and not having those awful night sweats I also take 5-HTP which I really think works. I have more happy days than not and my husband said I seem so much better off them, more fun, less tired and less angry all the time (so strange, all my anger has gone since stopping the ADs). Also, sex drive and ability to orgasm was very low (from being very high in my 20s), now all that is back I REALLY don't want to go back on those medications and lose it again. I just find these negative emotions so overwhelming and find dealing with them so very difficult. Though I never, ever feel suicidal (like I did in my 20s) and am always so surprised that eventually they all pass if I just distract myself. The worst is work when I have a deadline or when I feel lonely. I'm just scare one day it will all build up and I'll get depressed again and wonder if being on a pill to stop that might be better. Almost like a preventative. Any thoughts more than welcome or if there is another similar post I could read that would be great.
  16. I took Prozac 20m for anxiety and had to stop after a week due to severe side effects . MybMD suggested a stop cold turkey since it was affecting me and had to stop working . I asked him it was ok to stop cold turkey sice I had read that it should be done slowly and he said it was fine that I shouldn't have any issue . I asked to be lowered to to 10mg and see if I will been a bit better since I had heard it took a few weeks for my system to get used to it . I got my prescription for 10mg and took it that night and next day was horrible. I decided not to take anymore . It's been 5 weeks and I'm still feeling severe weakness some day more that others, fatigued, I feel off balance and sensitivity to light and sound . I know its withdrawal syndrome now . Been going to see the MD almost every week since then and of course he tell me it has nothing to do with the medication . I've had blood work done and everything comes back fine . He even did a toxicology test and the results came back saying I have to trace of Prozac in my silly stem and that it usually leaves your body 2-3 after you stop . I don't believe that but oh well . I'm able to work part time but still have a hard time especially in the mornings because I was up with burning skin and a feeling of nervousness in my stomach and shakyness . Usually feel better in the afternoons . I just want to know if anyone has taken it for a short time like I did and how long it might take for this to go away ?
  17. I'm reaching out to see if these symtoms are familiar to anyone and if so, will how long before the go away?Prozac 60 mg a day for 30 years. A psychiatrist gave started my on Prozac for anxiety after I experienced my first panic attack explaining that anxiety was a form of depression. My life has gone quite well given the typical ups and downs it can bring.My primary care doc retired and I was having problems getting an appointment with my new one so I decided that maybe I should just wean myself of of Prozac which I did taking 60mg every other day, then 40mg every other day and finally 20mg every other day and when it ran out, I was done. This was about 3 months ago. Today I am living in my own private hell wondering if I am going through the change of if this is Prozac withdrawl. I wake up feeling fine but then getting ready for work the fog rolls into my head, I feel dizzy , like I'm looking out of someone else's eyes and I cry. I cry in the shower and focus on my breath until I can finish getting ready and can go on to work. Work is such a fog. I can not think to answer any complex questions and it is a struggle to get through the day trying to appear "normal". Thoughts of unworthiness course through my head and I cry and I cry. It seems like all I do is cry. Because I am trying to cover this up by going in the bathroom to focus on breathing or finding somewhere else to get it together, by the time I get home, i am exhausted....and by the way I have never been someone to cry at the drop of the hat...I am going to make an appointment to see my new doc next week..sometimes I feel like I might have a brain tumor or something... could this be Prozac withdrawl??
  18. My doc had me taper to aggressive, and withdrawals have hit. Do I go on a low dose and stabilize or continue with the withdrawals symptoms and hope for the best. It been 4 months since last dose.
  19. I took Fluoxetine (Prozac) 10 mg for a little over 4 months for mild depression and anxiety (should have went to couseling instead). I've not really had any real mental health issues. In hindsight, it was a mistake. Started taking it in January, stopped beginning first week of May. I did not take it consistently. Only when I remembered to take it. I stopped taking it cold turkey about 5 weeks ago. When will my withdrawal symptoms fully subside? I still have a bit of mental/physical fatigue, dizziness, mild anxiety, blurred vision, neck pain/stiffness and dull headache. My symptoms are worse in the morning and lessen around evening. Also, I'm not quite able to fully experience true emotion--other than sadness, that I had previous to antidepressants. How long does this go on, and what can I expect? This was my first antidepressant ever. So I have no other experiences to compare it to and no one else to ask about this stuff. Doctors kind of brushed me off I have improved slightly since the withdrawal began 5 weeks ago. But, the remaining symptoms linger and I'm wondering how long this all might last? Please help me if you can? I need to hear from people who understand and can provide insight, comfort, and hope. Please help. What can I expect? Also, right now, I only take vitamin B complex to help with my energy levels and D3 for a deficiency. Nothing else. My diet has improved nutrition wise, and I've lost 20 pounds in a litle over a month as a result. But no worries there, I had a little extra to spare. Fruits, veggies, chicken, fish, water, and the occasional granola bar when I catch a sugar craving. That's my daily diet since this all began. I'm 31 years old.
  20. I need help. I am struggling and need some reassurance that what my second doctor has done is right. About 6 weeks ago I went to the Doctor and told her I was ready to get off of antidepressants. I was feeling good and also suffering some side effects such as memory loss, lack of libido and anger. I had been on Pristiq 100mg for 3 years and Lexapro 20mg for 7 years before that. I am in a new area and did not have a good relationship with this Doctor. She was very brisk and said the first week I should drop to 50mg Pristiq and then stop. There would be some uncomfortable withdrawal effects for a couple of weeks, but it would be okay after that. I did that and for about 3 weeks suffered the horrendous effects it seems many people get such as shaking, back pain, sweating, insomnia, depression, rage and nightmares. It was awful, but I was counting down the 2 weeks thinking it would get better. At around week 4 the physical symptoms were gone, but I was hit by the most intense anxiety and despair that I have ever experienced. This continues today. I went to a different Doctor who put me on Lovan 20 (fluoxetine) as she said it would be much easier to taper off of when I was ready. It has now been 9 days on Lovan and I still feel so desperate and anxious. She said the Lovan will take 2 weeks to work, but shouldn't I have felt something by now? I still can't stop crying. I was also given valium 2mg, which I hate taking, because I wanted to be off meds, but I have no choice because i feel so bad. Yesterday the valium didn't work (I took 3 tablets). I cried all day and called Lifeline twice. The only relief comes at night. I am not sure why this is happening now as night used to be my worst time, but around 8pm is when things feel better (and when my husband is home). I need constant company to feel better, but my husband is at work and I think I am ruining his life. He is so wonderful, but really stressed at work and I am adding to it hugely. I am now wondering if the answer would have been to go back on Pristiq rather than a different med, but now I suppose it is too late to do that. I don't have confidence in my Doctors and I have been to 4 now. The latest one is very kind and says this should work in 2 weeks, but what if it doesn't? Please can anyone help? I am so desperate and afraid of how to get through today. I have a counselling appointment, but my mind is so all over the place I don't know if it will help much. It is as if I am not myself anymore.
  21. Hello all I am so grateful to find this site. I’ve been vacillating about joining, but now here I am. I feel kind of silly posting because when I read some of your heartbreaking stories mine aren’t as bad, but still, here I am and I’m suffering in my own way and would be honoured to get help or insight from those who have gone through this (going through this!) before me. So, I’ve had life long anxiety, which I never got help for (say, 25+ years). This all came to head after I had my baby late 2012 in about March 2013 with an EPIC nervous breakdown after months and months of gruelling anxiety and depression. I was in a terrible state. Psychiatrist convinced me to take Lovan 20mg and I reluctantly started and I honestly had such a huge relief of my symptoms within a week or two, which was a shock to me. My psychologist didn’t believe that my improvement that quickly was real, which was a weird situation to be in. I stopped seeing her after four sessions and haven’t had therapy since. My psych was happy for me to stay on meds and started talking about coming off about a year in. She just said skip days until you’re off and left me to it. I stayed on meds another year because there was a lot going on in my life and I was terrified of doing it without the medication. Once that settled down I started the ‘taper’ in about June last year (2015) and was off in a month. I honestly don’t think I had withdrawals but there was a time about six months in that I got those old familiar anxious thoughts and feelings and terrible anxiety. I found this site and was so shocked to find out about withdrawals and tapering. That helped me push on and not seek out medication again. But here I am another six months later in the same position. I feel like such a damn mess. No motivation, crippling anxiety, family life falling apart. Not working well in the office. Not reaching out to friends. Hanging around in bed or at home glued to the internet or tv while my husband and child are out living life. Creating a terrible wedge between my husband and young child - them against me. I try to put on a happy face to the outside world but inside I am such a jumble of tangled up mess. I have some physical symptoms too - migraines, back pain, weird burning fevers, insomnia. Not sure if this is real illness or withdrawal symptoms. When I’m golden I have a pretty great wellness program for myself. Exercise, supplements (including a bunch for MTHRFTHR gene), a great diet at 50/50% gentle carbs/fat-protien, no alcohol or any other prescription medications. I do meditation (Headspace) although it sometimes annoys the heck out of me for some reason. I’ve read up on reinstating and I think I’m too far from tapering off to do this, which is kind of devastating. I’m at a lost and not sure where to turn. Is it withdrawals, is it relapse and if I leave it will I spiral into a hideous breakdown again and ruin my already fragile life. Thank you so much for listening.
  22. Hey guys! I stopped taking Prozac 15mg last September, so about 9 months ago already. Things were kind of rocky at first, but smoothed out with time. Now, ever since May, I've been hitting a rough patch after rough patch, and cannot get out of this rut. Does anyone know how long it actually takes my brain to function normally again after taking Prozac for 3 years? I heard it could be different for everyone, but this is getting a little ridiculous. I have never experienced this before, and nothing horrible has happened in my life. It seems that after a couple months of not being on Prozac anymore, my mood dropped and I started feeling horrible again. I read online that the brain is not used to producing so much serotonin because the pills did it for me, so I am wondering just how long it could take for my brain to patch this up. This has been ruining my relationships with family, loved ones, and friends. It is affecting my school work, my job, and how I am living my everyday life. I feel down all the time, and rarely experience happiness and joy. My mind seems slower, and it takes me a long time to understand and comprehend things sometimes. If anyone has any information that could help me get through this and/or understand what is happening, that would be great!
  23. Hello everyone. I found this site a few months ago but only now do I feel I have the mental strength to write anything remotely coherent. I am in no way recovered but I hope my story offers some encouragement to those in acute withdrawal particularly those who cold turkey. As a teenager I suffered anorexia, I was hospitalised several times and things got pretty serious. This was back in the 90s and there was not the specialised care available that there is today. The professionals tried there best but did not know really what to do with me. This went on for years I would put weight on to loose it again, my poor parents suffered terribly. Eventually some bright spark suggested a antidepressant, I was 5 stone and eating nothing and I believe I did not metabolise the drug properly. I became a zombie which frustrated me more as I could not exercise. Roll on 2 years and at 18 I started to improve I gained some weight went back to college but I could fine no happiness in life, I felt flat, empty with little enthusiasm and basically wanted to sleep constantly. Looking back I did not feel depressed I could still work and function I just felt flat and lonely. Anyway on my Drs advise I began seroxat I think it was 20mg but not sure. I took this for 4 years, I have to say it did help I became less withdrawn and got more joy from life, but I had regular periods of unexplained illness, I would became almost chronically fatigued for days on end unable to do anything but sleep. I'm trying to cut this shorter so I will summarise. Seroxat was hell to come off, I tried several times and ended up doing a cold turkey which was rough very rough ( although my standards on rough have recently widened ) It took but 6 weeks to get any improvement but even then I cried constantly and My Dr put me on prozac and lorazepam for the sleeplessness. A week later and I mean a week I had gone from crying all day everyday unable to do much at all to, up at 7am In the gym then off to work, the change was unbelievable and my Dr was slapping his self on the back and I was beside myself with happiness. Roll on 5 years.. I'm still doing great Iv cut down to a prozac every other day and changed lorazepam to diazepam but I only take very small amounts of this maybe 5mg a week. Roll on another 3 years I'm in prozac 20mg every 3 days and same amount of diazepam. I'm ok but get more anxious and worried about stuff but I'm working and functioning ok. 2014 I decided the prozac is done I'm happy I'm working I have 2 kids I don't need 7ish mg of prozac. My Dr says just stop your virtually off it anyway worse you will get if flu like symptoms. So I do. I remember a few days after stopping feeling fantastic so relaxed happy and full of joy. Roll on 2 months and I start to get very stressed with the kids I tenner throwing a plate at the wall and just standing there and crying. I felt angry all the time and I'm the most placid person in the world. Roll on another 2 months and things start to get serious I can't sleep I toss and turn all night, I'm stressed and angry 24-7. 6 month after stopping prozac the sh@t really hits the fan. My whole world turns. I won't go into all the symptoms as from reading on the site I know you have felt them. These are the top 5 though # fear ( I will not use anxiety as it does not convey the true horror of this feeling. A word has yet to be invented to describe it) # severe agitation ( maybe akathesia ) # severe insomnia nights on end without sleep and massive muscle jerks # severe depression and it brought it's friends DP DR and SI # severe neck pain, ear pressure, jaw pain To basically stop you all dropping off I got no breaks for 5 months. I narrowly avoided involuntary hospital admission. I also had a massive reaction to another AD I think it was cirtralopram. After 7months after acute and nearly a year after CT, Im starting to see some improvement and you cannot wipe the smile of my face when i do. It does not last long, the max I have had is 5 days and I still have very poor sleep but I genuinely thought I was the one that would never get a window. There is hope all you have to do is wait.
  24. Hello Today marks three years off antidepressants. I took Prozac for 16 years at 20 mg. My taper was 4 weeks at every other day, the psychiatrist said this was fine. I know now that it was ridiculous. I slowly went down hill and at month 4 I hit rock bottom. Words have not been invented for what happened. A year later I would still regularly be found screaming and bashing my head on the floor. Two years later I still had horrendous depersonalisation I would find it impossible to look at everyday objects without completely freakimg out. Three years on I'm still severely debilitated. My main symptoms are Chronic fatigue Fibro type pain especially in the neck and upper back. Muscle pain and twitches Vision problems constant blur and a film feeling over my eyes that I can never clear Headaches Ear pain Jaw pain Vertigo Dizziness Insomnia chronic Constant eye twitch Restless legs Agitation Anxiety Severe depression especially am The only medication I have taken in 3 years in clonidine which I believe helped but it made my bp so low I would faint several times a day. I had depression and anxiety before Prozac and was medicated at a young age so I don't really remember it too much. I know I will be the exception on this site and I respect everyone's beliefs but I do think there is a place in the world for antidepressants I just think they are hugely over prescribed hugely misunderstood and should only be prescribed for the sickest of the sick the ones with no other choices and it should be short term of possible. I feel very let down by Drs. I have seen 7 psychiatrists in the last 3 years including Dr Healy, who is an extremely nice man.All but dr healy and one other diagnosed serious depression and anxiety. I have taken magnesium glycinate for 3 years but can go months without it and notice no difference. I can't tolerate fish oils they make me very anxious. I would appreciate any thoughts/ advise
  25. im so pissed i was told that i would have no withdraw from prozac. yet here i am 3 months in and i feel worse than ever. I use to be an active person and now i can barely get up the stairs I'm so weak..when i try and talk to my friends first question i always get is why did you go off your prozac? And maybe you should try another anti depressant.. I am never going back on any of them i thing they are another way for big pharma to control us and get our money.. Anyways i did read a book called the mood cure by julia ross and have been taking supplements she recommends. Mostly it is the tryptophan that has helped me with my insomnia that i appreciate them most. But its really scary to be a completely different person than i was a few months ago and no-one really understands.. they just say you probably have a serotonin deficiency and need to be on meds..And i want to say to them do you know what its like to go 7 years without being able to achieve an orgasim?? From what i can tell there is no real solution for what i am going thru.. or any kind of timeline.
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