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Found 18 results

  1. I am new here as you can see. I need help!! I'm hoping someone can help me get off 10 mg Lexapro. Every time I try to drop to even 9mg, I end up sick to my stomach. I go back up to 10mg and am still sick to my stomach. I have no other symptoms. In my profile is all my information, I don't know how to get it to the bottom of this page. I'm not very good on the computer. Sorry
  2. Hello everybody, First of all, sorry for my poor English. I'll try to write short but correct sentences, so you can understand my case. I'm 21 years old and currently I'm studying Medicine. In 2013 I started psychological treatment for social anxiety (only psychotherapy, without medication). I'm positive that this helped me a lot, but the psychologist thought that I wasn't improving fast enough, so he prescribed me Escitalopram 5 mg/day. I didn't notice any improvement or adverse effect while taking this drug. The summer of 2014, before I started College, was the worst phase of my life. I didn't want to get out of my bedroom, and I only wanted to die. That fall, I visited a psychiatrist for the first time, and he prescribed me Desvenlafaxine 100 mg a day. This drug completely killed my mind. I felt numb, dizzy, emotionally flattened, I had severe memory problems... When the College semester ended (I failed 3 subjects), I withdraw the drug with the help of the psychiatrist. Several months later, I felt better, but I had the feeling that the drug had left some type of "residual damage" in me...I wasn't the same person than I was one year ago, and the memory problems were there. I committed the great mistake of asking another psychiatrist for advice: I wanted to know if the Desvenlafaxine was the culprit of the symptoms I was suffering. The new psychiatrist told me that I was suffering from anxiety and obsessive-like behavior, so he gave me Duloxetine (60 mg/day during the first 3 months, 30 mg/day later) & Alprazolam (0.125 mg. 3 times a day during the 3 first months, once a day later). This time, I got better results than the year before. I felt better, I even obtained A+ in two subjects. When the summer came, I decided to withdraw the drug with the help of my doctor. I suffered a considerable withdrawal syndrome (dizziness,photophobia,tinnitus,swinging mood...It was horrible!). When the College course started, I felt really anxious, I could barely study, so I started taking the Duloxetine & Alprazolam again. However, this time the medication didn't helped anything. I felt worse everyday, so I decided to leave the College for a while and search a good psychotherapist. I found one who is helping me a lot, she encouraged me to withdraw these horrible drugs, so I'm "clean" since December, 2016. I'm going to summarize my drug history and the withdrawal symptoms I'm having: Medication history · March 2014-October 2014: Escitalopram 5 mg/day. · October 2014-July 2015: Desvenlafaxine 100mg/day. · October 2015-July 2016: Duloxetine (Cymbalta) 30 mg/day & Alprazolam (0.125 mg/day). · October 2016-November 2016: Duloxetine (Cymbalta) 30 mg/day & Alprazolam (0.125 mg/day). · 2 and a half months "clean" (since the end of November until today) My withdrawal symptoms · I don't feel anything, I don't enjoy anything in life, my mood is completely flat. I don't enjoy things that I used to enjoy, I have to think "hey, you used to enjoy doing this, so you should be having a good time", but I don't have the "natural" and "automatic" feeling of enjoy. · My memory is not sharp anymore, I have problems remembering what I've done yesterday or some days ago, I have to do great efforts in order to remember things. · I feel mentally slow, I have enormous concentration problems, I feel absolutely useless. That's the summary of my situation. I can't talk about it with anybody (my fathers don't understand what's happening, my girlfriend and friends don't notice any problem and my psychotherapist, although she think I was medicated without reasons and she thinks the two psychiatrists committed malpractice, says that these drugs don't cause any permanent damage and that I mustn't get obsessed with all these symptoms. So, my last hope is this community, while I expect to find people with knowledge of the topic. Is this "damage" permanent? Will I recover my old self? I'm terrified just now, and the idea of not being myself anymore is scaring me a lot...I don't want to live like this, and if this situation don't revert, I'll have to take radical measures. Thank you very much for your time, I hope you can help me with your experiences and knowledge. Best wishes, dav267
  3. Hi everyone first i like to thank every member of this forum for al their information and Personal story's. Second, excuse me for the incorrect english. It is not my native language. Long story.. and really dont knie where to begin. Had mental problems early in life. Diagnosed depression and ptss. At 18y. Psychiatrist wanted me on ad. IT made me angry, so i left. ANd went on With my life. Age 28. After giving birth to my first child. Thingms went wrong, i got very anxious. Al kinds of crazy thoughts about all things could happen with my baby. After 6 months colours faded. I started noticing things. Startdd hallucinating. Paranoid thoughts.. etc. but still on my feet. Working.. untill my second pregnancy. I collapsed. Deep depression. 20 weeks pregnant started with zoloft 25 Mg. Upped to 50 mg. The only thing iT did for me was giving Some energy to get on my feet. And anxiety dissappeared. Very slowly i crawled out of depression with the help of therapy. Had terrible side effects of zoloft zo tried to taper a little off with the liquid. I couldnt. I got to 10 Mg. At 1 point i called my psychiatrist in agony i could not take iT anymore. He suggested cipramil. So i switched to 10 Mg cipramil. 4 drops. It felt like switching from speed to pot, but for depression and anxiety cipramil it did work just a little bit. Ever since i started using ad i wanted to come of. I lost count of the times i tried to come off it. Currently i use 1 Mg cipramil. And occasionaly alprazolam/temazepam/oxazepam . Appr 1 x week.
  4. ChrisB: Intro

    Moderator note: link to benzo forum thread - ChrisB: New Here, starting tapering soon Hi, brand new and for the first time since deciding to taper off long term/low dose xanax, am not terrified as when reading posts on other forums - more heartfelt thanks for that than I can say. I'm 57, been on .25 xanax for 20+ years but typically only one daily. The past year I've apparently not been holding at that or the stress of returning to school full-time and becoming an empty nester/new house has done me in! Last 6 months or so, have had probably 20 days where I've taken a second pill. The past 25 years I've volunteered as a Search and Rescue K9 Handler, including leadership positions - rewarding but also stessful; I still dealt pretty darn well until, again, just recently. Found a pharmacy that will compound, scared but looking forward to finding me again.
  5. Hello. I need some info on a procedure i found out works for my situation. I am taking Carbamazepine ( or Tegretol ) every third day ( when at work ) to cope with stressful situations. I read about everywhere it needs to be taken each day, but i feel not to take it that often. I control my anxiety at home, but at performing my job my emotions seem to overwhelm me, so i take this drug. I feel fine and in the evening i don't feel depressed any longer while at work ( i used to become very depressed in the evening due to staying late; these are the requierements of the job ). I started taking Carbamazepine so i don't feel the need of any benzo ( they ask for higher and higher doses to be taken to work every time, which is nuisance ). Is it possible to continue taking Carbamazepine every third day and be safe? What are the risks of this way of dealing with this situation ?
  6. Good morning. I will start by saying that I am a healthy, sober, active woman in a happy supportive marriage and mom to 2 (mostly) wonderfuI teenage boys. Here's my story. I started taking Zoloft 17 years ago to help with postpartum depression and seasonal affect disorder that seemed to be worsening with age. I learned that I could get by with 100 mg in the summer and increase to 150 mg in the winter. A couple of years ago-during the summer- I noticed an increase in my depression. I was lacking joy, lacking motivation and energy, having difficulty focusing on tasks and was often weepy. I was intrigued by the commercials I saw for Abilify which promised to give me the boost I needed to get through the day. I tried talk therapy for a couple of months, but finding no relief, I asked to be prescribed Abilify. I experienced an immediate improvement in my mood and motivation. About a year in, I was discouraged by the inability to make it through the day without napping. Sometimes, I napped all afternoon. My Dr. prescribed Adderall to boost my mood and energy. The cocktail of Zoloft, Abilify and Adderall did seem to help for a while. The symptoms of lacking joy and motivation returned and I eventually concluded that the effect of the Zoloft had petered out. I came to believe over the years that I suffered from a chemical imbalance that would always need medication-it was the only logical explanation for depression considering my otherwise fulfilling life. So rather than increasing the Zoloft, I spoke with my Dr. about switching to a different antidepressant. I had come to believe that the Abilify really wasn't helping my symptoms and was perhaps contributing to the lack of motivation, so in an effort to wean from current medications in order to switch to a new one, Abilify was the first to go. I was running low on the prescription, so rather than refilling, I decided that I could taper with the remaining tablets since I was "only" on 5 mg. I don't know exactly how long that taper was-2 weeks or so. At first, there was no problem. Then about 3 weeks in, all hell broke loose with diarrhea, lack of appetite, crying jags and anxiety. Over the course of 3 weeks the only persistent symptom was debilitating anxiety. I tried eating better, exercising more, yoga, meditation, breathing, vitamin supplements to no avail. Although I suspected the anxiety was related to the Abilify discontinuation, my Dr. made no reference to this and seemed as mystified as me. After 2 months of trying holistic approaches, I conceded to trying new drugs. First she prescribed Gabapentin, 300 mg. With no improvement after 2 weeks, I discontinued. She then prescribed 75 mg of Welbutrin which I also discontinued after 2 weeks. She switched me to 30 mg of Adderall which seems to help boost my mood and energy without ironically, increasing my anxiety. Tired and depressed from the constant anxiety I was prescribed .5 mg of xanax 2 times per day. This does alleviate most of the anxiety. Curious about the root problem and concerned with taking Xanax, I started doing some research and eventually was directed to this site which affirms to me that I am suffering from prolonged discontinuation syndrome (4 months) resulting from my rapid discontinuation of Abilify. I am now more concerned than ever about using even a small amount of Xanax to calm my overactive nervous system, don't know if the Xanax may be prolonging the healing from the original Abilify discontinuation, wondering if reintroducing Abilify at a low dose and doing a 10% taper will work at this point and wondering how long this will last if I just suck it up and suffer the anxiety until it goes away. My ultimate goal was to stop taking everything so I could switch to a different antidepressant to deal with my "faulty chemistry". Now I don't know what to do and it is clear that my Dr. has no idea either.
  7. Hi all, I am posting on behalf of an elderly relative who is 88 years old. I do think that some medications are not suitable for her to be on, especially Alprazolam. What the general physician gave her after a bp spike recently is in the signature. Bp was then 180/100 4 days ago now is stable at 140/83. Waking pulse after 2 days was 60 after Alprazolam. I think the drugs are too sedating and bp could go lower if all doses are not adjusted. She is frail and I am concerned this might be too much for her system. Previously was only on current hyperglycaemia meds and Prazosin 10mg x3, Verapamil x3. We were going through a lot of stress at the time from a bad flu. Now after antibiotics it has cleared up, though she still recovering. Bp is checked 3 x times a day since high bp. I am not sure if the prescribing gp knows what they are doing, they are not qualified in Cardiology or seem to care much about the medications given. Since the worst symptom is bp I asked other relatives to get a second opinion sooner, but they are not convinced. I think the doses should be be lowered paying attention to side effects since there a few new ones prescribed. She has gone to the doc for a long while, I think it is better to switch to a qualified caring doctor who does not give too many meds and is available to communicate with other caregivers since current one does not do these things It is only now that we have begun to check side effects and some meds don’t seem to even treat her conditions at all only giving side effects. She has had high bp for years and probably should be on some but prescribed are not the safest ones, dosages too high, too many drug changes etc. according to research online. It might be tolerated in someone stronger, younger perhaps. People blame solely advanced age for her declining health, but before all these meds I have noticed she was healthier and physically active than she is now. I am concerned that the newest meds might make her feel even worse than she is at the moment if taken in this way. She has not had the care she deserves IMHO. Lesser symptoms are insomnia, dizziness which I’m guessing could have been side effects from Prazosin. All are prescribed for a month till next doc visit. Medicating side effects with more meds don’t make sense. We were going to do the 10% taper before this crises. We were also going to discontinue the said physician and find a better qualified doctor to treat her bp and was overprescribing innapropriately, but in the stress of flu they were not thinking clearly I guess, and rushed too soon forgetting what we agreed upon earlier. They could get better help, yet are not convinced from what online research I show them. Maybe later they will understand and she will get the support she needs. I researched the Beers list and resources for older adults and they do not recommend most of these drugs to be given including antihistamines, dizziness meds when symptom is improved, too many bp meds like Nifedipine which has more side effects than Verapamil which she seems to tolerate better. Is there anyway some of the unnecessary meds can be lowered starting with the benzodiazepine? I am concerned about anticholinergic symptoms and the consequences to her health by the overall drug burden at her age. I would be grateful for your advice. Thank you for reading. Take care.
  8. I'm having a bad problem right now involving Remeron, Ambien, Xanax, Benadryl, Anxiety, Insomnia, GI problems, and fibromyalgia. I have a history of ambien use. 2 years ago I used 5-10MG of Ambien every night for 9 months. I started gradually having mild anxiety and depression throughout the 9 months so I decided to quit and then I did a 3 months taper. It was probably too fast because I had terrible anxiety throughout the process and it never stopped after I jumped. I was clean for 4 months. Then 5 months ago I had an incident which has since plunged my life down the toilet bowl and I have been terribly ill ever since, lost 30 pounds, and my anxiety and panic disorder has transformed into full blown agoraphobia. It started when I took an antibiotic for an ear infection. I had an allergic reaction and I had to start taking 50-75 mg of Benadryl every night. The next day I started a 5 day course of a different antibioitic, took corticosteroids, and took 0.25mg xanax to get to sleep. All was fine until 3 days later when I suddenly got chest/back pain, gastric burning, and a panic attack. This started a 5 month cascade of gradually elevating anxiety and gastric symtoms which was misdiagnosed as GERD. I went on many medications including prilosec, zantac, benadryl, antacids, tylenol, an experiment with librax (about 8 pills), and a few doses of muscle relaxer. I was on a cycle of using Xanax every 3 days and Benadryl every night. Every 3 days I would have a panic attack and take 0.25mg of Xanax, which has an interaction with Prilosec so it was probably actually more like 0.5mg. The gastric symptoms would strangely improve whenever I took the Xanax and then deteriorate over the next 3 days until it was time for the next Xanax. My nightly dose of 25mg-75mg Beandryl also helped and I would typically be better in the beginning of the day and then deteriorate throughout the night until it was time for the next Benadryl. At the time I thought Benadryl was just an antihistamine and did not know that it was also an anticholinergic and a mild SSRI. 3 months ago the gastric symptoms went into a constant steady state with no remissions and I started having wierd muscle twitching and electric sensations. So I went on a witchhunt to remove all of my medications in suspicion that one of them was causing my GI symptoms, which had eluded my GI doctor and all of his tests. First I got rid of the prilosec, zantac, antiacids. This didnt help. Then I tried to get off the Benadryl and that's when the **** hit the fan. Muscle stiffness and Insomnia from trying to quit Benadryl drew me back to Ambien. It started with 1mg doses and then quickly went to 2 and then 5 in a matter of days. The first day off Benadryl I had terrible anxiety and I was immediately in a state of having extreme insomnia and after a couple nights of taking Ambien or missing sleep I also had fibromyalgia, which further prevented me from sleeping as I could not find a comfortable position to sleep in. I've never had fibromyalgia in my life. For the next 2 weeks I would flop between different combinations of Benadryl and Ambien as my condition continued to deteriorate. I was averaging 2 or 3 hours of sleep per night. 2 weeks ago I saw a psychiatrist sleep doctor who Prescribed Remeron 7.5mg. I started by cutting it to 3.75mg which worked wonderfully for the first 5 days. I didnt need any Ambien and was getting 9 hours of sleep. However, I had side effects like dry mouth, dehydration, weakness, exercise intolernce, anxiety, suicidal ideation, memory issues, binge eating on junk, and daytime tiredness. Then on the 6th day I was having muscle stiffness, muscle spasms/twitches, and insomnia. I could not sleep on 3.75mg. After a drink (i dont normally drink), a hit of weed (i dont normally smoke), and then another 3.75mg to bring it up to 7.5mg, I STILL could not sleep. I could not sleep until I added 2.5mg of Ambien, and then I slept for 3 hours. This situation might have been amplified by having a steroid trigger point shot and a sedated procedure 2 days prior. Nevertheless, it scared me away from Remeron. I was scared of the side effects, the dose escalation, and possibly Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome. I also quit Claratin 10mg, which I'd be taking for years while going on an antihistamine witchhunt and suspected I had 'Histaminosis'. For the next 4 days I would use Ambien 2mg and then 5mg and then two nights at 10mg, and I was still only getting 3-5 hours of sleep. I was hoping my GI symptoms would go away, if I was on just Ambien for a while. They didnt. Soem of the twitching was still there too. My psychiatrist told me to go up to 12.5mg of Ambien CR. Hell no. I was already possibly getting addicted to Ambien and didnt want to cement that with a long course of high doses and cement this addiction after everything I went through over the past 2 years. Over the last 2 nights I did an experiment where I 'reinstated' Remeron at 1mg and used 1mg of Ambien. One to initiate sleep and one to maintain sleep, instead of using an unnecessarily large dose of a long acting drug to initiate sleep or an unneccessarily large dose of a short acting drug to maintain sleep. Miraculously it worked. On only 1mg of remeron and 1mg of Ambien I have gotten 9 and 10 hours of sleep during the previous 2 nights. However, today I am again having some issues with minor twitching and electric sensations throughout my body, which I woke up with, and after thinking of it too long I am having bad anxiety. I don't know whether I am having a withdrawal from Ambien, a withdrawal from Remeron, side effects of Remeron, a withdrawal from one of the previous drugs (I havent had Xanax in 2 weeks), etc. After having only about 10 or 15 doses of Ambien at an average of 3-4mg per night, am I already addicted? Am I KINDLED? Do I need to taper Ambien in order to avoid seizures or brain damage, regardless of Remeron? For how long - a week, a month, months? Am I having some rare side effect syndrome of Remeron and need to go back on just ambien? Do I need to taper the tiny dose of remeron I took for a week? Do I need to go back on Benadryl or Xanax? Did I get addicted to the Xanax every 3 days? I feel like I urgently need a professional to work all of this out and tell me which doses of what I need to take over what time frame in order to avoid harm or seizures and assure me that I'm not having Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome or something like that. I want my life back. I know these all look like tiny doses and time frames to you guys but I feel like I'm going insane, or I'm going to die. What do you guys think?
  9. Hi all I'm new to this forum and really in a bad place currently. Last year I was using 20mg valium + 1mg xanax a day for a few months and decided to come off these over Christmas, without having researched the proper way. I tapered off the Xanax by splitting the pills over the course of a week or two and with the valium, tapered again over a few weeks by splitting the pills down. However, this didn't work and left me feeling utterly awful, so on the 3rd of Feb, I web to see my local GP who recommended I start tapering over 3 weeks, starting with 7.5mg, then 5mg, then 2.5mg then nothing. The end result, a few weeks later, is that I have lost my ability to concentrate almost entirely, my sleeping is pretty terrible and anxiety at a very high level. I am due to go see the doctor again in a couple of hours to decide on what needs to be done next. My current biggest fear is that, because I work for myself, I am going to have to declare bankruptcy both personally (I have a 6k credit card debt) and via the company, along with moving out of my rented apartment - to where I don't know, possibly my brother's place as he's the only person in my family with a spare room - and having my entire career and life collapse around me. Having read the Ashton manual (and even showed this to my doctor) I understand the need to taper slowly, but: having tried the doctor's recommendation of a fast taper and finding this doesn't work, is it worth trying to reinstate and then carry out a slow taper? I'm at my wit's end and really cannot see a way out of this: if I wasn't self-employed, I think things would be less bad but at the moment everything seems insurmountable I simply do not know what to do. Any suggestions?
  10. I am really scared and confused; because I don´t know what to believe,am I in protracted withdrawal or relapse? Besides my aprehensivness, my phyisical symptoms are: ANXIETY,opression in my solar plexus, tiredness, diharrea, lack of apetite, due to anxiety, disrupted sleep, flu-like sensation, powerfull emotions, (neuro-emotions?) I think I´m producing a lot of cortisol, is it because temporary brain damage? Phosphatydilserine can help? I don´t have an exact record, but my last dose of Effexor was around July 26th, August and Sptember were awful, October was quite good, and this month bad again; maybe, maybe nuero sensations had lessen also anxiety but I´m getting disrupted sleep, worse. Profesionals tell me to start with ssri again; I feel trapped, in a dead end, very very scared. Please help me, tell I´m not going crazy. I´m also under a lot of pressure due to money problems; is this a triggering issue? I´m in dispair.
  11. Michael: What to taper first?

    Hello,my name is Michael.I would First like to thank everyone for having me.I hope this group can help with my tapering off of psych meds.I know to go slow and 1 at a time.I take Xanax 3mg,Cymbalta 60mg,and Depakote 1000mg daily.Which drug would be recommended to taper first.Any help or feedback is greatly appreciated
  12. ☼ dowdaller: Hello

    Hi everyone my name is pete I am from Ireland, I am currently med free for the last 8 months I was on a cocktail of meds before that including zanex, olanzaipine, and Effexor I weaned off these meds over a two year period under supervision. I found this tough but I made it, I am currently finding it tough at the moment hence I joined the forum. I suffer from anxiety ocd and depression.
  13. I have been off of lexapro for 2 years after being on it for 20 12 years. The withdrawals were horrific! Jello legs, migraine every day, rage, anger, insomnia, body pains. I was still on wellbutrin but waited to taper off of it until the lexapro withdrawals were tolerable. I have tapered completely off of the wellbutrin from a 450 mg dose and it took about 6 months. I had to rush the tapering process because the manufacturer quit making the brand name in my milligram strength and the generic put me into immediate withdrawal. There IS a difference between generic and name brand. I thought I had made it through all withdrawals. For the past month, I have been experiencing insomnia, severe anxiety, rage, anger and headaches. My husband made me go to the doctor yesterday and the doc has prescribed prozac, 10 mg. to be increased to 40 mg. a little later on. I do not want this at all, but my anxiety is through the roof. I am non-functional. My question is this: Is it possible to experience lexapro withdrawals after being off of it for 2 years or could it be from being off of the wellbutrin for 6 months, or both? I thought I was better, but I don't know if I'm experience a relapse in anxiety or post withdrawals. Thoughts? Thank you so much! JackieLouBlue
  14. I was originally placed on Lexapro 20 mg, Klonopin 1 mg and Seroquel 100 mg in December of 2011, 3 month's before my mother passed away to help with depression, sleep and anxiety. I stayed on these for 2 year's when I decided I no longer needed to be medicated. I tapered all 3 at the same time by cutting them in half, waiting a few month's and then in half again. I stopped Lexapro in December of 2014. Then as per an incompetent doctor stopped the Klonopin in May of 2015. I ended up in the E.R followed by signing into a detox facility. I had no clue what a benzo was let alone that I had been on one and felt as if I was going to dye from what they said was benzo withdraws. Since then for the past year and a half I have tried to taper off Seroquel about 4 times. Each time was horrible and I was put back on the original dose of 100 mg. Through research and what a couple of doctor's have told me I was tapered to fast. I am a 21 year federal employee and have now been out of work since this January. I am at risk of losing everything I've worked so hard for including my home. I signed into another detox facility in February because they promised to get me off Seroquel and regain my sleep. It was a waste of time and money, I was lied to. So the doctor I am currently seeing has placed me on 2 benzo's to try and help with sleep and anxiety. they only help with my anxiety. One is Xanax .5 mg and Flurazepam 15 mg. She has tried many different meds trying to regain my sleep enough that I can function and go back to work but nothing is working. I feel as though I a m going through pure tortuous hell. Everyday is a battle and I am at my wits end!! I am currenty tapering down to 75 mg's one night 1st week then 2 night's 2nd week until I am down to 75 mg's every night which will take 7 weeks. I can't function, have no appetite, feel nacious, no energy and just feel like death warmed over. I can't push through much more as my day's have turned to weeks and my weeks to month's. I have so many reasons to live and so many thing's to look forward to but all I do is pray to God to just let me die in my sleep. I have no more push left in me. This has been like a never ending nightmare!! I would go to a detox facility in a heartbeat if they were ligit but the past 2 were horrible. I need my life back. I feel Seroquel has destroyed my life and I may even end up losing my job of 21 years. Is there an easier way to get off this or a detox facility that REALLY does get you off and help you??
  15. Ηello everyone. I have severe anhedonia, emotional anesthesia, severe PSSD, extremelly fatique and dizziness due to cold turkey of paxil(60mg!!). I tοοκ it for 6 weeks and I am free 8 months now. The issue is that I am on benzo (xanax) 3 years(!) in doses 1 - 1,5 mg and now I am on hell in other words :( because I have dependence and tolerance (maybe) to xanax. Ι was never warned that ssri will cause me so terrible side effects such as anhedonia and PSSD. Therefore, I was concentrated to cut the xanax gradually this year. Now I have so many nightmares and nobody doctor believes me, because, as you Know very well, all these situations aren't recognizable. Also I am very confused because I don't Know if it is W/D or adverse reaction. Although I got a huge dose, I Think 6 weeks is a short exposure to develop W/D. I don't have waves and windows. Every day is the same.I keep thinking that is permanent and I have intense suicidal thoughts. It' so unbearable ... I feel so EMPTY. I can't feel love even for my parents and I haven't substantial support because they ALL think that I am simply depressed. Ιt's a sick joce....Do you think that I must taper the xanax now? My brain is in chaos and I am afraid for W/D from xanax now, but maybe I have not other choice. Keep in mind that I had not these effects (anhedonia, emotional blunting,PSSD) 2.5 years while I was ONLY on xanax. Any advise would be highly appreciated! Sorry for my bad English. Greetings
  16. ***Apologies for the length and how disjointed this post is. My brain feels like scrambled eggs lately. ha*** Hi all. I am glad to find a place of support while going thru this as I feel very much alone and afraid. I guess I will start by copying and pasting my drug and W/D history that I had to type up during registration. I do not have the strength or brain power to do it again right now. I will just highlight the recent, pertinent bits of my history. Last 6 years as follows: *2010-2012 10mg Lexapro. Withdrew. Off for 4 months./hard W/d but did ok. *2012-2013 Wellbutrin XL 150mg.Off and on a couple times by itself and later to offset Zoloft side effects. No issues withdrawing, but it increases my anxiety when on it. Otherwise, it was the "nicest" AD ive been on. *2013-2014 Zoloft 50mg.On it a year and a half. Went off due to 30# weight gain and sexual issues. Difficult W/d but somehow got thru. Stayed off A/D for about 4 months again. *Tried Buspar. 2 weeks before I had to stop due to the intense anger it caused. *2015-recently Back to Lexapro 10mg for 10 months. Worked ok but I wanted off meds. Tried to taper from 10mg to 5mg in Late Jan/Feb 2016. Was great for first 4 weeks or so before it hit me. Went thru 3 weeks of bad, cant get off the couch situation before reinstating at 10mg. Helped for about a week or so. Then way back down in depression. Psych put up to 15mg. Same thing. Then 20mg. Which I did NOT handle well at all. Developed RLS type symptoms etc. Went back down to 15. Then 10. RLS type stuff went away.Did a "prozac bridge" to taper the rest of the way off from 10 to 5 to 0 of Lexapro.Been off Lexapro since 5/7/2016 *2016- Prozac 10mg to help get off the lexapro. Started it on 4/30/2016. Seemed to tolerate the 10mg Prozac then bumped it up to 20mg at Psychs suggestion. Did not tolerate well at all. RLS type stuff came back. Heart palpatations, weepiness, excessive tiredness. Went back to 10mg. Then 10mg every other day then 0mg as of 5/31//2016 Still have RLS. *2010-2016 Xanax (anywhere from 3mg a day back in 2010 when I first started Lexapro down to .25 in the am and .5 at bedtime currently. ) *Not sure it is relevent but I went off Prilosec at the same time I started tapering the Lexapro* Symptoms since this started: Major depression Hopelessness Back pains off and on Restless legs/Akathisia? Lethargy Loss of interest in pretty much everything I loved Disconnected from myself Loss of appetite Irritability Personal Info; 45 year old female. 3 kids, 25,22 and 19. Ex military spouse for 20 years. No longer in marriage. In a relationship with a wonderful man. Now thats out of the way, I must say this is by far the worst and longest W/D and mental episode I have ever had. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but mostly am an anxiety sufferer. GAD and Social Anxiety. I thought I knew what depression was before this year. I thought anxiety was worse than depression. I was CLUELESS. This mess over the last 5 or so months has rendered me basically useless and hopeless. I have no hope over anything, no interest in anything. Ifeel like a waste. I have the weird RLS/Akathisa thing going on which I never had before. It makes getting a good nights rest so hard, which in turn makes it all worse. I spend everyday just trying to drag myself thru the day. Which drags on forever. I was a stay at home mom for YEARS and I am currently unemployed. I have lived in my current city for 5 years and I have no friends here and my kids are grown (they live about an hour and a half away) so I am trying to deal with loneliness on top of this other stuff. My boyfriend does not have a big family here either so thats not an option. I want to move closer to my family but cant until he can sell the house here which will be at least another year. I am introverted so usually it does not bother me THAT much but the since I have been going thru this mess, it really weighs on me. I do not want to off myself, but most everyday I wonder why I am even bothering to stay around and go thru this. I feel so ran down.I do not want to die so please dont think that is what I am saying. It is just that even having those feelings scares the crap out of me. This hopeless disinterest scares me. As I said, I have never felt like this for very long (maybe a week or 2 max) and never this intense till I tried to get off the meds this time. The other W/Ds i went thru were a cake walk compared to this. My psychiatrist is no help. He pretty much asks me what I want to do. So I have lost all faith in him. I did CBT for a year. From 2010 to around 2011. Then I moved 800 miles and lost my therapist, of course. I currently live in a very small rural town and would have to travel at least an hour to see a therapist and that is not possible. That is all I have to the energy to write at the moment. Again, my apologies for being so scattered. I hope this is just withdrawal. This is NOT me, this is NOT how I usually am. It is so scary right now. I am telling myself to just hang in there awhile longer and let the W/D do its nasty thing and it will get better. I feel like I am dissapointing my family because 5 months out, I am still a wreck. I just want to be me again. I want to do the things I loved and be loving and make jokes all the time. Not be trapped inside myself, feeling like I am being held hostage and drained of happiness and energy and life. If anyone has anything to say, any advice, ANYTHING, PLEASE please please feel free to say it. I just feel so alone in this. And HUGS to all of you that are going thru this too. I hope we all feel better soon. Thanks Jujube
  17. I have finally decided to begin my taper off xanax and zoloft. I have been on these meds due to panic attacks for 20 years. After educating myself and taking care of myself holistically in every other way, but this one, over the last few years, I have found that my symptoms have become worse. Then, in March, my now 7 year old started having panic attacks. I knew that I never wanted her to suffer as I have and have been getting her through them with meditation and dietary changes. Currently I take 1.5 mg of xanax nightly and anytime during the day when I need it. That can be anywhere from 0-2. I am on 100 mg of zoloft. I was on 50 up until my daughter experienced her attacks and her therapist suggested I up my dose to get through the stress. My (somewhat) functional doctor agreed and upped my dosage. So, here I am. Glad to have the support!
  18. Long story short, my primary doctor had some sort of medication plan for me, then due to a family emergency moved upstate and left her practice. Now I'm stuck dealing with several doctors who have either given me medication that had harmful side effects (100mg of Trazodone on top of my other medication spiked my blood pressure so high it nearly killed me), or doctors who want to completely take me off of the medication I'm currently on (no tapering) and switch me directly over onto something in a completely different drug class. It seems the best course of action would be to just taper off of my medication and see where I stand psychologically after that. Due to my line of work I know enough about medication to know that what they want me to do at this point is dangerous, but I'm positive this forum knows more than me, and at this point I'm not sure where else to turn. My insurance isn't leaving me with many options unless I want to pay a ton of money out of pocket just for a doctor to give me advice. Here's where I'm at right now: I'm currently on 450 mg of Wellbutrin XL once daily and 1 mg of Xanax three times daily due to some psychological problems apparently due to PTSD. I've been on this medication for four years. The Xanax I won't discuss here, I just thought that would be important from a drug interaction standpoint. I figure tapering off of the Wellbutrin FIRST would be the best option, however I can't get any doctor to change any of my current medication. They're "afraid to mess around with it." To be more specific: I take a 300 mg tablet AND a 150 mg tablet every morning. I'm figuring, not being able to get a script for a different release type of Wellbutrin, two differing dosages of pills could at least help, I've just been on it for so long I'm not sure about the time frame in which to drop the dosage. Any help would be greatly appreciated, this has been going on for months now. (Also, apologies for posting this in the wrong sub-forum. Was in a rush and didn't notice support right above this)
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