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  1. I am so glad that I came across this forum! I feel like crying when reading peoples stories and their struggle with coming off the antidepressants! I was prescribed Zoloft for anxiety and Depression which I have been suffering for years! Mainly anxiety and panic disorder! I am otherwise healthy. Zoloft caused PGAD that has caused me so much anguish, I feel like I am living in a nightmare! I only took Zoloft for 3 days 25mg and this happened to me! I wanted to and still have thoughts of suicide! I felt that I was some kind of a freak and pervert! It has been 4 weeks and things have improved but not completely gone! I constantly feel burning sensation, and tingles that drive me crazy! I can deal with the burning sensations but tingles I can not stand! I got better then I took a herbal supplement for anxiety and it has come back today! I am taking fish oil supplement and I wonder if I am now sensitive to fish oil too??? Should I stop or cut back on fish oil? I just don't know what to take anymore! I never could imagine that this could happen to me as I was not aware! The doctor did not mention anything so I had no idea! I am naturally a slim person and my only worry at the time was if I was going to gain weight while on antidepressants, and my doctor reassured me "Very Unlikely". I took her word for it and I took the medication. In did not want to deal with, anxiety, depression and plus weight issues as a result of antidepressants! I told my doctor what happened to me and like many others have reported "she has never heard of it". That made me feel so humiliated and embarrassed. The point is that the doctors are not educated in regards to this issue. I recently went back to her and told her that I am still experiencing issued down below, burning sensation ever since Zoloft and she said that it is a coincidence! I am sick of doctors, they are full of ****! You tell them one thing and they turn it around! I just prey this eventually goes away and settles down! If this does not settle down I would consider removing sensitive part of my anatomy! I hate it! I can't stand it! How is everyone else coping with this? What have you found that helps? I have not felt peaceful down below for the last 4 weeks! I have never heard of this condition prior to taking antidepressants. Please help, Thank you.
  2. KatieDogMom

    KatieDogMom: Withdrawal is rough

    My life is falling apart. I have been off of Prozac for about a month and a half completely and yet here I am with symptoms of what I think is PGAD. The doctor prescribed me amitriptyline and I have increased my desk from 10 mg to 25 recently. It doesn’t seem to be helping at all. I’m terrified that I’m going to have to go back on Prozac. Has anyone experienced this issue before? I’m really trying to keep my life together. The doctors don’t really know what’s wrong. If you have been through this, have the symptoms subsided eventually? What do I do?
  3. Hello everybody, I've been taking antidepressants since 2011, and never had neurological issues from prescriptions until recently. In January I started Lexapro 20mg (took it for a little over a month), and then in late February I started weaning off it fairly fast over a period of a couple weeks, as I wasn't having any adverse reaction to the weaning process whatsoever. In fact, I didn't feel any change in my mind or body when taking Lexapro. It felt like a sugar pill. Then one day in March (about three weeks after I had completely been off Lexapro) I developed mono and had to take Zofran to control the nausea so that I could eat. In early April I started noticing that I was aroused much more easily, and that the lightest pressure on my genitals would cause arousal. It continued to get more intense during that month, and so I decided to quit Zofran after I learned about PGAD and how it can be caused by drugs affecting serotonin levels (Zofran is a drug that works on serotonin precursor receptors). My PGAD symptoms got better, but did not go away. I started taking .5mg Klonopin every day to help deal with the symptoms, and I'm still taking it today. It doesn't really help with the PGAD symptoms, but it helps me not get too anxious about my PGAD (anxiety makes my PGAD worse). I tried Cymbalta, since case studies have suggested it may help, and I already started feeling happier within the first couple days, but it made my PGAD worse, so I couldn't tolerate it. I do have a question for anyone out there about treatment for PGAD symptoms. My urologist prescribed me Elavil (or Amitriptyline), because apparently it has helped people in the past. I've even seen a couple of posts on here about that drug helping. So here is my question: Has anyone experienced symptoms getting worse before they get better when taking a drug that may help PGAD symptoms? I want to give Elavil a good try, but if it makes my symptoms worse initially, then does that mean it will just not work at all, period? My urologist wants me to give it a try for a month, but I don't want to be on it for a month if my PGAD is much worse the whole time I know antidepressants can take up to 4 weeks to fully work, but is that true for alleviating PGAD symptoms? I tried Cymbalta already, and it made the symptoms so much worse that I couldn't take it for more than a few days. But I'm not sure if the "pain" relieving affects of Cymbalta would take longer to kick in than whatever aspect of the drug was making it worse. Please let me know if you guys have any personal experience, or advice in this situation. Thanks for your help in advance!
  4. Dear all, I took Sertraline 50 (French name for Zoloft). for only a month and I have developped PGAD (Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder) following a too fast withdrawal. I read the story of some of your members who had PGAD when they withdrew from an antidepressant and their stories looked like mine and gave me hope and I hope they can confort me and assist me because I am in a very dark place. I read the stories of Hopefull anf Broken. Are they still on the forum ? How are they doing ? Until December 2016, I had never taken any antidepressant or a benzo in my entire life. I was leading an happy life with my husband and son in the West of France. We had a chemical accident in december. I mixed 2 products while cleaning my house, bleach and a cleaning product with acid and stupidly burnt my lungs and got a toxic choc on the 27th of december. My doctor thought I was anxious afer the accident and put me on Xanax 0.25, half a pill at night. I took it for a month in January 2017 and was sent to a psychiatrist who put me on Lisanxia 10, a pill a day. I felt suicidal because i didnt understand I was suffering from the Xanax withdrawal the doctors kept changing the pill without any tappering, I stayed on Lysanxia 10, a pill a day the whole February , then another psychiatrist decided to put me on Bromazepan 6 (4 quarter a day). I stayed on Bromazepan the entire March and he put me back on Xanax, all of that cold turkey. And that how I met my worse nightmare, the Sertraline AD: I was feeling very agitated on benzos, my lungs and entire skin were burning and everybody told me it was in my head. I didn't agree so I was hospitalised againt my wish in a psychiatrist hospital. There, they made me stop my Xanax 0.25 cold turkey and put me on Sertraline 50. This happened on Easter monday 2017 (April 17 th). After 2 weeks, I was sent home and started feeling very ill, I had tremors, agitation, fatigue, shakes, flu like symptoms and suicidal thoughts. I went to see a GP who told me I could drop the Sertraline to 25 because I had only been on it for 2 weeks and I could slowly stop it. I went on the 25 pill and then I started having violent withdrawal side effects (I don't know which ones came from Xanax or from Sertraline) : My symptoms : Sensitivity to light and smells, burning skin, hyperacusis, agitation, akathisia, tinnitus and when I thought it couldn't get worse, I started peeing every 10 minutes, got a hyperactive bladder, terrible pains in my genitalias, bladder and pelvic area and the worse of it permanent arousal. Since I have kept the tinnitus in my left ear, the akatisia and PGAD. I was sent to another mental hospital at the beginning of June because I thought they could help me with PGAD. They put me on Risperidone for a week while they made me stop the Sertraline very fast (they made me take it every 2 days for a week then they replaced it with Anafranil 25 that I kept for a week. My tinnitus got worse and my PGAD stayed the same. I was getting sicker and sicker so the psychiatrist stopped the Anafranil and the Risperidone and I was put back on Xanax. I am now back at home, my PGAD symptoms are terrible and I am considered manic and hypocondriac. My doctor wants to put me back in a mental hospital. I can't look after my family and Iam in a very dark place with suicidal thoughts My 3 main withdrawal symptoms : high pitched tinnitus, agitation and PGAD. Pins and needles in my lower back, legs and arms when the PGAD crisis start. . MY PGAD symptoms : Overactive bladder, ongoing arousal sensations in and around the genitals, having to go to the toilets every 10 minutes, pelvic pains, Pins and needle, shaking. It is atrocious and it makes me suicidal. I take 3 Xanax 0.25 a day and a Zopiclone 7 to sleep. I cannot sit because the symptoms get worse and I can barely walk because my bladder hurts. I spend my days crying on my bed with an ice pack on my lower parts. At night I cannot sleep well because of the tinnitus. I went to see an urologist, I had a cystoscopy done and they told me it is not an interstitial cysticis and gave me Lyrica (I am scared of taking it because I fear it will make my tinnitus worse). Nobody knows this symptom in France and people think i am crazy. Thank you for reading my story. Please can you reassure me ? I am terrified and I am suffering greatly. Would it go away ? Is it a withdrawal symptom ? Thank you so much for having this site on the internet. It gave me a lot of confort. Cathyfrench (I am french so I hope my English is not too bad, my apologies for my grammatical errors)
  5. rnnstr91

    rnnstr91: PGAD

    I have developed PGAD 8 times in my life while on a variety of antidepressants (Prozac, Zoloft, Pristiq, Lexapro, Seroquel, Lamotrigine, and most recently Amitryptiline). On Prozac it was severe and lasted 2 years. The other times it went away within days/weeks of stopping the drugs. I’ve currently had a mild case caused by Amytripline for 3 weeks now. I stopped the drug two weeks after starting it as soon as I felt the pgad begin. I am worried this time it won’t go away which is terrifying because there isn’t really a successful treatment for it. This is my fear every time I get it. My issue is that I have severe depression, anxiety and depersonalization disorder and feel I cannot get better without psych meds. Each time I try a new psych med it either gives me PGAD or doesn’t help my depression/anxiety. I am at a loss for what to do. I have an amazing life that I can’t enjoy and since I can’t seem to tolerate any drugs even a partial recovery seems hopeless. Any advice would be appreciated! Not sure what to do anymore.
  6. Hello I am a 1st time poster and am very frightened by my symptoms after withdrawing from 10 mg Paroxetine from September 2015 to December 2016. After 2 months at 0 mg I developed PGAD and intense anxiety. I reinstated 1mg at the end of January 2017 but it didn't help and gave me bad diarrhea; then I increased to 2.5 mg in June 2017, but I now have had akathisia, numbness and pain in feet, and worsening depression. I am spending more and more time in bed and I am frightened to go out. Please could you give me any advice as to whether I should taper again or hold to stabilise? I am also suffering badly from insomnia and take benadryl quite often.
  7. Hi folks, Just looking for a bit of advice. I'd been on Prozac, 25mg a day, for 9 months, for depression and wanted to come off them. I was advised by my doctor to take a 25mg tablet on alternating days for 1 month and then stop completely. I did this and have now been off for 4 weeks. Asides from some rather severe depression symptoms my main withdrawal issue has been PGAD (Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder), something which I suffered with 2 years ago. What I'm wondering is, does this mean I tapered off too quickly? I should also mention I have M.E. and tend to respond strongly to drugs. Is the best plan of action to just ride this out and hope the symptoms go or to go back on the Prozac and taper off again much slower? (my doctor did tell me if I go back on the Prozac I'd have to stay on for 2 years but I really don't want to do that.) Any advice appreciated, Thanks
  8. FayM

    FayM: PGAD

    Hi Everybody, I registrated because i have been sufferig from PGAD. I tried a couple of ssri’s, first was Lexapro but i was doing oke at that time and it wasn’t worth the side affects because i could function without Lexapro. So i stopped that (only took it for 2 weeks) after about 3 months i tried Zoloft because i was functioning but i still had a lot of anxiety problemen. When i started taking zoloft i noticed symptoms of PGAD, after 2 weeks i stopped with this ssri as well. But since then the PGAD stayed and it is really wrecking my life, i am sorry. I only took this for 2 weeks and now i have had PGAD for almost 5 months and there is not a lot to do about is. I was wondering what other people are doing for the symptoms. If you take medication what kind of medication. Does anybody think that starting with an ssri again can make a difference? I take clonazepam (rivotril) 0,5 Mg but it doesn’t do much. Also my anxiety is through the rough right now so i think i do need to go on some medication again (especially for social anxiety). Please let me know what your experiences are. Xxx Fay
  9. MOD NOTE: contains content which may be triggering for some members Hi, I have been "stalking" this website for a while now, I saw a couple stories that were a lot like mine. I never knew how much harm these darn medications could do, moreover, I was so glad I found that I was not alone in this. I felt like crying tears of relief when I found this community. Im not sure where to start so I will just give a basic "run-down" of my history; I came from an abusive background. My father abused me when I was younger, and my neighbor "took advantage" of me when I was 8, repeatedly. Im thankful I am not in that situation anymore, but those experiences did leave me with some "battle scars." I was diagnosed in early 2014 as having OCD, Anxiety, Depression, Panic Disorder, PTSD, and ADD. I knew I had some things from childhood, like the OCD, Depression, Anxiety and of course the ADD (That one is a bit hard to miss) But I was so shocked to find what had happened to me did give me PTSD. It was such a shock. I was hospitalized in late 2014 for a suicide attempt and that was my first introduction into the Antidepressants. To be honest they never really helped me. I was put on Prozac, not sure the dose, but I quit cold turkey after 3 maybe 4 weeks on it now that I think back to it. No side effects. No nothing. Then I was prescribed with several things back to back, Zoloft, Cymbalta, Effexor, I would only take 1 or 2 pills before not taking them anymore as I just felt the medication just masked the problem without actually fixing it. The only one that really did help a bit was Effexor but I got so jittery it was ridiculous I stopped after 2 days of use. again, no side effects, I was blessed. I was given Xanax for my panic attacks, i took it sparingly. Then I was given medication for my ADD, I thought "why not" and gave it a try since I was having trouble focusing especially in the workplace. I was given focalin. It completely destroyed me. I had a OCD flare up like no other. I ended up hospitalized from early May to late July/ Early August. It was a nightmare even though it did make me perform better, it was OCD hell. I recovered in a few days and was put on Paxil. 40 mg. and Trazadone for sleep which was switched with another type of sleep medication. I would take a combination of Trazadone and a cocktail of other sleep medications on and off. The doctor never warned me of the side effects of these stupid medications. I started having Nervous sweats, shaking which I believe to be called "akathesia", hypersensitivity, more panic attacks, PTSD episodes, OCD episodes. and weird sensations in my private parts that from what I have been reading, is called "PGAD" , horrible insomnia, sensations that are not there, so severe somatization, tinnitus that comes and goes, depersonalization, less able to focus, and an increase in paranoia. I ended up worse than when I started with this mess.. I have been though enough. Since I have been stalking this website I have been following a few stories that were a lot like mine and trying to mimic them in their withdrawal. I went from 40mg of Paxil to 21 mg. Probably too fast. I have been following Hopefull, ASkyFullOfHappy, MamaP, Gentle Steps, Petunia, MollyN especially since some of their stories really mirror mine in one way or another. Im sorry for stalking ya'll, I am actually very embarrassed, but I was recently given the courage to make my own account since I feel like I still don't know what I am doing sometimes, and honestly my symptoms, although they have improved a slight bit, they are not where I need them to be. I hope with some guidance I can get on the right track here, and maybe help a couple people out as well.
  10. Hey guys First of all I’m astounded by the amount of compassion members give to each other on this site. You’re all very beautiful people and I thank you for doing what you do. My drug history can be found in my signature but basically I've been on Zoloft/Sertraline 150 mg for OCD for almost 2 years now and I've experienced very mild side effects, namely increased sweating, yawning and eyes watering. My condition had improved tremendously - before then I was constantly plagued by my worries and could not function, so I decided to begin tapering off. In November 2017 I reduced my dose to 125 mg (on GP's advice). On December 14 2017 I masturbated for the first time in years, then felt extremely guilty afterwards as I have read online that people have developed PGAD due to sertraline. Ever since I stumbled upon stories about PGAD in the 8th grade, I've been afraid of this disorder. I hoped that the feelings of arousal would go away in a few minutes, as they always did in the past after I 'entertained', so I tried to calm myself down and distract myself by playing video games. To my dread the feelings were still there. There's a constant urge to urinate, throbbing, pulsing sensations in my genitals, clitoris whatever it is. I just graduated from high school and I'm still a virgin so I have no idea what an actual orgasm is like, but after that incident I just randomly experience the 'climaxes' I get during masturbation. I believed it was nerve related because if I tried to do an activity that was more intellectually stimulating, the arousal feelings would become stronger. It was very difficult to concentrate. However I noticed that the arousal feelings were weaker at around dinnertime, before I take my daily dose but came back after I took the sertraline. These symptoms arose just as I was on holiday overseas to a third world country where psychiatry isn’t really practised safely if at all, so I couldn’t see a doctor. Distressed and desperate to do something about it, I skipped my meds for a day (NEVER DO THIS) and the feelings disappeared, which confirmed my theory that sertraline was causing the PGAD-like sensations. On 27 December 2017 I stupidly reduced the dose to 100 mg without a doctor’s consultation, not knowing it was likely a symptom of withdrawal. This in itself did not make the sensations go away, but I was able to change my ‘mindset’. January 2018: Seeing as the feelings were less noticeable when I was under pressure to socialise, I began to force myself to ‘think quick’ and pretend that I was under that same pressure. With this mindset, the PGAD feelings were completely gone and I was ecstatic. However on the plane ride back home, this mindset caused me to have migraines, so I no longer adopted that mindset, yet the PGAD did not come back! Another win! However this was proved wrong as after a few days it returned and with it, the hopelessness and depression. My GP suggested that I go back up to 150 mg and I was so down and suicidal that my mum and I agreed. I felt weird and uncoordinated on such a high dose so I went down to 125 mg which I am currently at. I’m going to see a new psychiatrist soon hopefully. Applying a different mindset doesn’t keep the PGAD at bay any longer. Before I even started the meds I’ve had almost constant migraines which is most likely anxiety related. Recently I’ve been able to make the PGAD go away by thinking about my headaches in a different way (it’s really complicated and difficult to describe), so it is probably due to the meds changing my brain chemistry, changing nerve pathways. I’m currently more emotionally stable. I want to ask does staying at 125 mg for another month sound like a good plan, then tapering off veery slowly (I didn’t know about the 10% rule back then)?
  11. Hi everyone, I'm new here. Im 19, hoping to one day become a doctor, but right now that seems impossible. I have always been very bad with medicine, i forget to take them, or i just don't care enough to take them. In my junior year of high-school 2015, I had a suicide attempt which put me 2 weeks in the hospital and on prozac, I don't remember the dose. I stopped taking it cold turkey after one week it made me feel fake happy, I felt like I was faking everything. Then I finally got myself a good psychologist, and a " meh" psychiatrist which led me down a road of several antidepressants, , most of the time I just took the medicine for 2 days to a week, and then stopped cold turkey. I would fake symptoms and tell my psychiatrist I was doing fine on them when in reality I was not taking any of them. I did his with Cymbalta, Effexor, and Douloxetine, I think thats what its called. Then I was put on pristiq, again, it made me fake happy, so I stopped after a month, I never had bad side effects from quitting, just starting them was what made me have all sorts of shaking and vomiting etc. This summer, I had another breakdown, turns out I have OCD, well i was put on Paxil, surprisingly I had no side effects coming into it. It was great I was feeling better. I took it for a week and a half or maybe 2 and then i started forgetting to take it. After a week or so of not taking it I started to feel aroused all the time. like the slightest touch or sexual thing would make me want to "have some fun" with myself. It was weird. I felt very odd about it because for like the past month I had been anything but sexual, I was actually very afraid of sex. and the medication had made me numb down there. Then i started getting tingles in my lady parts, they felt inside me, and I was also peeing a lot which made the tingles kinda hurt. So I took a UTI test..... I have a UTI.... but I would get weird throbbing and tingling inside me as well, and in my lower back and in my anus, it was very odd. I searched up what it could be and PGAD came up, I read all the suicide stories and people that had it for years with no relief I was so worried I would soon start having uncontrollable orgasms. I began to check and hyperfocus on my lady parts. I started taking Paxil again, 4 days later it was gone but I was left so worried it would come back, i became hyper aware of my lady bits. for 3 days I was okay.... then i started feeling aroused, I was scared, i didn't know whether it was PGAD or me being me. I cant orgasm at all. then some tingling by my clitoris after I peed sometimes. sometimes its slight twinges inside me, or feeling "stimulated" when i cross my legs even loud noises make me twinge down there....Its not as bad as when I was "withdrawing" but still Im so scared it will come back one day. Anyway . Im stuck. Do I get off the meds? what if the PGAD comes back? I really don't know what to do. Im starting university again in a week and Im so scared.
  12. Hi, my name is nadia and I'm 16 , I've been put on zoloft 25mg and I've taken about 8 days worth and I am experiencing PGAD. If I mention this to my doctor and get put off zoloft, will my pgad go away? I was already very suicidal before this and the PGAD is making it worse, I don't think I can live with this forever. Also, if it is something that will go away if I get taken off zoloft, what can I do to manage it in the meantime? Any help is appreciated
  13. Has anyone else here experienced sudden unset pudendal neuralgia symptoms after being on an SSRI for a period of time? I was on sertraline for ~2 weeks (1 week 50mg, 1 week 100mg) when I began to experience moderate to severe pelvic burning and discomfort characteristic of pudendal neuralgia. Since the onset of the symptoms, I have tapered off the sertraline. Yet my PN-esque symptoms have not gone away (aside from an unexplainable 5 day period). It has been about a month since I began to experience these hellish symptoms, and although I've only been in pain for about 3 weeks, it's been one of the most uncomfortable things that I've ever experienced in my life, and I can't imagine living this way for the rest of my days. I'm only 18, and I just want this **** to go away. I want my life back. Hence my question: has anyone else ever had PN or PN-esque symptoms only for it to spontaneously go away (as mysteriously as the symptoms came about?
  14. Hi everyone, I'm new around here. From looking through the archives, it seems like a few of you have had the unfortunate experience of PGAD that began shortly after beginning SSRIs. I'm in the same boat. I begin Lexapro (escitalopram) 5mg in November, and after 4 days, I experienced a sudden onset of PGAD. I immediately stopped taking the Lexapro, and now (3 months later), the PGAD has definitely lessened, but it's not totally gone. It's manageable at this point, and I feel like it will probably continue to fade over time, but man it was really, really awful when it was at its worst. Difficult to function with it. The problem is that the depression, anxiety, and OCD for which I was originally prescribed the Lexapro are slowly worsening. I've tried everything. Cognitive behavioral therapy (been going steadily for 2 years), exercise (intense exercise 3-5 times a week, every week, for the last 2 or 3 years), meditation/mindfulness, yoga, "positive thinking", clean eating, no caffeine, no alcohol, etc... and despite it all, I can feel myself slipping deeper and deeper into the darkness. The doc who prescribed the Lex gave me Wellbutrin to try when the Lex didn't work out, and that was a nightmare for me. I was on it for about a week but I experienced anxiety, panic, depersonalization, and obsessions so bad that I really thought I might harm myself just to escape the hell. I knew you're supposed to wait those things out for 2 weeks to see if the initial side effects "settle down", but I was truly worried about my safety. My question is, has anyone ever experienced PGAD from an SSRI, and then tried a different SSRI with success? I'd like to try a different one to see if it can help lift this depression, but I'm terrified of the PGAD coming back full force. At this point, I'd be willing to put up with most of the crappy SSRI side effects and the possibility of discontinuation syndrome to have the anxiety and depression fade somewhat, but the PGAD made it impossible to sleep or focus on work. I know everyone here is generally anti-pharmaceuticals, which I totally get, given how bad some of the drug experiences can be. I'm just feeling totally out of options. Thanks for your help and support.
  15. Hi. I began suffering from pgad last week. It's quite awful. I arrived at this forum looking for information on this, and it seems many on here have had this problem. I am not currently on or coming off of antidepressants. I was on them as a teen (a long time ago). I'm 33. I was also on ativan and/or clonazepam, and temazepam, up until about a year and a half ago. I wish I could get back on one of these as I wonder if it wouldn't help--I saw a couple people on threads who I *think* were saying clonazepam helped. However, I don't think I could get one of these anyway, as doctors are so reluctant to prescribe them now. Any thoughts on this? Another question I have is could my recent lortab usage have anything to do with the onset of this? Should I stop using this med; and if I do, might it go away, or have I started something that will now stay with me (I realize no one can answer any of this for sure; but I'm interested in your opinions)? Finally, has anyone used topical anesthetics to help with this condition and had any success? I'm considering buying some EMLA or tattooing anesthetic to see if it will help. It's hard to find info on if these are safe for genitals--but one would think so since these are also made for alleviating body-piercing pain and some get their genitals pierced (ouch). Oh and I have had restless leg like some others with this (as does my mother). And this does *feel* a lot like restless leg!! I wish like hell it was in my legs now. I also have been experiencing bladder trouble. In fact, the bladder trouble came about a week or two before the pgad. I have had bladder trouble in the past, however, on and off again in my life (like the restless leg, which has also been off and on again). I hope the pgad will follow suit and be on again off again. . . I'll be ever-grateful for *any* advice and opinions! And I know this is an anti-med site. I totally applaud everyone for getting off the ssri merry go round. I am glad I am off of these and never intend to go back on them. But please if you know of any other kind of med that might help at all, please please let me know. . .
  16. Hello everyone, I'm LemonBerry and I'll tell my story here and will also try to help others hopefully. Also I'm from The Netherlands so sorry if I make mistakes in the sentences or that some medicine has a different name here. It all started when I was 16 and got sick, my heart was beating 180 and I was diagnosed with 'supraventricular tachycardia'. Though this was quickly fixed by a surgery except I kept thinking after the surgery I was going to die of heartattacks and what not. So for over 4 months I struggled with anxiety and atleast one day a week I was at the emergency department because I really thought I was having a heartattack. After a while the docter decided to prescribe me Venlafaxine.I don't remember the dose anymore, it's too long ago. This didn't work out quite well, I woke up in the middle of the night from nightmares with a tingling tongue and ******. Also I was extremely angry sometimes. The docter decided this wasn't the right medicine for me. So they put me on Sertraline, 50MG. In 2014 I ended in the hospital twice. First time was when they increased the dose of Sertraline to 100mg (which they did because they thought I was depressed). I was having my school final (loads of stress probably) I was twitching on one side of my body. The hospital said they couldnt find anything wrong with my body but it could be a side effect of the Sertraline. In the end atleast I still got my diploma when I re-did my final. A few months later I was a weekend alone and also ended in the hospital because I couldn't stop thinking I was having a heart attack. In the end it was also because I had alot of stress about deciding wether I want to continue studying or find job. After this was figured out and everything was taking the right turn I decided to quit Sertraline. Everything was going well the only withdrawal symptom I had was the 'electric shocks' (not sure how to describe it). At the start of 2015 things were quite alright except the fact I was quite down being not able to find a job and broke up with my boyfriend. I went to a person to talk to every week but this didn't really have much effect. Things were clearing up though because I found a really nice job so I decided to stop going to the psychologist since I didn't have much time as I'd be working fulltime from now on. Things were going great till people got fired left and right, my manager was leaving and everything got really busy. This was were the anxiety started comming back. First all I thought about was work 24/7 after that when I felt something like a little bit of a sore throat I thought I had the worst things. I started going to the docter almost every week. They said it was stress (which it was) and I should try to relax a bit more. But having problems with anxiety you don't even believe the docter anymore. Then my legs started to cramp up and I started googling my symptoms. NEVER google your symptoms, this only makes things worse. I started to think I actually had the worst things like MS or ALS. This was when the docter decided to rpescribe me antidepressants again, This time Escitalopram, 10MG. I did not react well to this. I was feeling super happy and super horny right after the first day I took it. After I took it my whole skin was turning red and I had difficulty breathing. Yet the docters at the emergency place told me to keep taking it since you can't just quit antidepressants. Plus people find it harder to believe you since you have anxiety problem. After 2 days I couldnt take it anymore, this was also in the weekend so I couldnt contact my own docter but the emergency docter agreed I took half of it. So I took 5MG and called my own docter right away monday. She didn't really know what to do since on one side Escitalopram is known for bad side effects in the beginning but on the other side these were quite severe. So she called a psychiatrist, which I could see and talk to the next day. The next day he told me to quit the Escitalopram as it seemed to make manic. Also being super horny doesn't really fir the image of anti depressants as it seems most do the opposit. Also since I was dealing with great anxiety still he advised me to take sertraline as I took it before and take some more intensive therapy for my anxiety. I thought this was a good idea since I don't remember having very bad side effects from Setraline. Even on 12,5MG the 3 days were horrible. I couldnt eat a thing and I barely slept. Also I was having a weird feeling in my ****** again. So I quit this aswell perhaps without the approval of my docter but I was done with all the medication. and my therapy starts the 8th of september. This is where the whole meberassing thing starts. After a few days of quitting Sertraline, I didn't sleep anymore and so I was having extreme anxiety of never being able to sleep again and dieing of lack of sleep. So I took 5mg of Oxazepam in the morning to calm down but I collapsed/fainted an hour later. Perhaps because of lack of sleep or worrying so much or the combination of it. So we (me and my mother) went to the emergency room again, the docter told me to take the other half of the Oxazepam and a Temazepam to sleep. I slept like a rose that night atleast so the worry of never being able to sleep again was gone. The day after I went to the docter and she advised me to take the Temazepam for a week so I could get a nice sleep rythm. When I got home I realized my ****** was feeling weird so I started googling thinks about anti depressants and the ******. This was also not a good idea. Like I said before googling things makes things worse and I get to the point I believe I have it. So I found an article about the relation between PGAD and SSRI's AKA the medicine I took the past 2 weeks. So I completely broke down. Atleast I took the courage to go to my mom and talk about it and asked her if she'd never stop believing me. Which she atleast agreed to do. When I got home I decided to take a look at my ****** and noticed it was white. So my rationality pulled me back to the earth and I realized I might just have an infection from all the stress. So I called the docter and she prescribed me some kind of cream. I have been using the cream for a week now but don't really notice an improvement. My lower abdomen and back also hurt like hell. They also tested if I had Cystitits, which I did not. So Now I'm scared I have PGAD which is an insult to people that do have it if I don't and if I just have a stupid infection. Yesterday I felt a weird feeling in my ear and got super dizzy. I nearly fainted and got super workedup. I started googling (again, why do I even do that) about extreme low blood pressure and found things about Septic Shock and was convinved I was going to die from that. But here I am, still alive the next day. Worrying about PGAD again instead since the cream doesn't have much effect and the stupid cramps in my abdomen are unbearable. So this is my story thus far. If anyone has any questions I'd be happy to answer them if I can. Any advice is also very welcome. I really really really do hope it gets better with this stupid anxiety. Atleast I have a supporting mom and a loving boyfriend (we got back together again). But wanting the anxiety to go away and being done with everythign is appereantly not enough to solve it. I also have NO intention to suicide or whatsoever. It's more the opposit, that I'm paranoid of death. Also sorry about the censoring and everything and I don't know if I put it in the right forum but it's certainly not meant sexual in any way.
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