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  1. Hi everyone, I'm wondering if anyone has suggestions for any books and/or videos on fear/phobia. I have Claire Weekes' book, Hope and Help For Your Nerves and while it has been of great help, I'm looking for something related more to dealing with fears. TY
  2. Hi all, I have been struggling off and on over the last 14 years with what I thought was anxiety the whole time, but am now realizing it was more likely withdrawal from stopping antidepressants too quickly. The first SSRI I was put on was Paxil. I tapered off after 7 months because I never really liked the idea of being on an antidepressant. I started having anxiety a few months later and was switched to 50 mg of Zoloft. I tried multiple times over the next 13 or so years to stop Zoloft, but the anxiety always returned, so back on I would go. In the fall of 2015 I had a return of anxiety after reducing the Zoloft to 25mg and tried to go back to 50, but it wasn't helping, so ended up going to 150mg before I felt relief. I again tried tapering last summer and got down to 25mg and experienced increased anxiety as well as insomnia. My doctor switched me to Lexapro last October, but it only made me more anxious, so after 10 weeks he switched me to Paxil. I got up to 20mg of Paxil for 3 weeks and wasn't feeling any better, so finally decided I had enough and wanted off the antidepressants. I started tapering at the end of January down to 15mg for 2 weeks, then 10 for 2 weeks, then to 7.5, and after about a week and a half at 7.5 started feeling really anxious again. I found this site and decided to go back up to 10mg of Paxil and stabilized for about 2 weeks and then started tapering 10%. Was doing pretty well for a couple of weeks at 9mg and then started feeling a little anxiety creep in. I talked to my doctor about switching to Prozac to make the tapering hopefully easier, so a week ago this Friday I started taking 4.5 mg each of Paxil and Prozac. I have experienced some ups and downs with anxiety since then, and am having a particularly difficult time right now. Feeling quite anxious and can't sleep. I took .5mg lorazepam tablet and am feeling a bit better, but not sure what to do now. I was going to switch to just 9mg of the Prozac and eliminate the Paxil tomorrow, but not sure if I should continue with the half and half mixture I have been doing or maybe even just go back to the Paxil alone? This just sucks so bad. I know I have probably screwed up my system so much with all of these changes and can only pray the damage is reversible. I was feeling pretty good earlier today, but then started feeling terrible as the evening went on. Haven't felt this bad in a while. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
  3. Well, here it goes. I was on Zoloft for 8 years following a year of intense anxiety after my 1st son was born. I generally felt good on Zoloft, though I would have blips in which I would up or lower my dose and I would balance back out. For the majority of the 8 years I was on 50mgs (the "lowest" dose according to my doctor). Well almost exactly a year ago I was doing so well, and figured since I was on the "lowest" dose I would simply stop taking it. Felt a little weird (light-headed, tearing up for no reason, spacey) for about 3 weeks, then I felt normal. Had a great holiday season with my family and so happy to be off meds and doing well. I started to feel a little bit of an anxiety blip at the end of February and figured I would be proactive and resume my 50 mgs of Zoloft for the rest of the winter, then get off again in the spring or summer...then disaster struck. I woke up the next morning with my mind racing, feeling like adrenal glands had been switched to overdrive, and 10 months later, I still haven't been able to turn them down. From the 1st night of taking the Zoloft I have not had a day without a huge wave on anxiety hitting me at some point. For most of these 10 months I have been waking at 4-5 AM with anxiety bordering or exceeding panic. Since I was prescribed the Zyprexa, I still wake feeling "keyed up" but it is not as bad and not as early (usually don't wake til 7 or 7:30AM). I was on the Zoloft for 6 weeks, being told that it can increase anxiety at the start, but then it will subside and I will go back to normal. When that didn't happen at 6 weeks I was told Lexapro works faster and is better for anxiety anyway...so I started it. One week at 5mgs then 10mgs for 7 weeks. When that didn't help I decided "enough of these meds, I have never had anxiety this bad, I will just get off." Well unfortunately my month off of Lexapro was no better, still waking early, still having extreme anxiety, wondering what the heck had happened to me. I was talked into giving Paxil a try by my doctor saying "it was the least activating" of the SSRIs and it could actually help me sleep...I didn't and I really felt no different on it than the other two. After two months of Paxil and feeling no better the doctor decided I just hadn't got to a "therapeutic" dose of Paxil for my severe anxiety, so he recommended going up to 40 and then if no improvement 60 on Paxil, in the meantime he gave me Zyprexa to help sleep and morning panic. To be honest I have been better since August, I am assuming the Zyprexa is calming down my overactive nervous system, but I am far from "stable." I went to 60 MGs of Paxil and felt a little better than I did at 40 for a week or two (probably placebo) then back to how I have felt since August (which admittedly is much better than Spring and Early Summer). Since I don't think the Paxil is helping, and actually may be "activating" and counteracting the Zyprexa (I hate even typing Zyprexa, I NEVER thought I would ever take an anti-psychotic, but here I am, and unfortunately I have to admit it has helped) I want to go lower and off the Paxil. From looking over this site it seems I have attempted what you would call a "reinstatement" of Paxil, that clearly hasn't worked. Seems I have four choices and would welcome and recommendations you could give. 1. Stay at 50mgs of Paxil with the 2.5mgs of Zyprexa hoping I will "stabilize" even though I haven't yet in my two months at both 40mgs and 60mgs of Paxil. 2. Realize the Paxil has never helped me and could in fact be "activating" and further hurting my chances to let my brain heal from my Zoloft CT and simply quit. 3. Go back up to 60mgs of Paxil and stay there until I "stabilize" even though I am two-months at this dose with no sign of leveling out. 4. Slowly wean myself off the Paxil, even though I am not stable as it is just a likely it is doing as much harm as good. I have read on this site that I shouldn't get off the Zyprexa until after dealing with the Paxil as it is a "brakes" medication and could help with whatever has happened to me this year. I really hate that I am taking Zyprexa and honestly the side-effect profile terrifies me, I have already gained about 15 lbs, but noticed this quickly and have been able to maintain my weight at 205 at 6'2", so it isn't a HUGE problem...yet. I welcome any thoughts, opinions, and insights. I have been very impressed with this site and am learning a lot about what has happened to me and what may be the best course of action moving forward.
  4. Hi Everyone, I’m glad to find this forum, which I joined because I’m about to try to get off Paxil, which I’ve been taking for 25 years. I’ve tried twice before and the withdrawal was so severe that I ended up in the ER both times. This was before SmithKlineBeecham admitted there was a problem with withdrawal, and no one, including the doctors I saw, knew anything about it. Of course I tried to taper way too fast. I went back on it because the withdrawal was intolerable and because it did work on my depression, from which I’ve suffered all of my life. Now it has quite suddenly stopped working. I’m taking 60 mgs of Paxil and 300 of Wellbutrin (time-release version). Other drugs I’ve tried over the years include Elavil, Triavil, Pamelor, Valium, Effexor, Celexa, Zoloft, Desyrel, Prozac, Remeron, Brintellix, Viibryd, Lexapro, plus (at various times) Klonopin, Ambien, Trazadone. For about six months I also took antipsychotics because a doc thought I might be bipolar 2. It was a disaster—never have I been so terrified of mental illness. Those drugs included Seroquel, Lamictal, Cymbalta, Quillivant, and Latuda, which caused akithesia (sp?). My poor brain has been under the influence of these substances for a total of 32 years now. I’m deeply anxious about discontinuing all meds, but determined to do it. I want to know the truth about what my mind is like without them. I wish I knew of a specialist in my area (upstate NY) I could consult. My doc is great, but I don’t think he knows more than the average shrink about the withdrawal syndrome. I plan to start the taper on May 1st, and lessen the dose once a month by 5% of the previous month’s dose, a schedule that seems to be generally recommended. I’m scared! And that’s my situation. On a more personal note, I’m a writer and teacher. Hobbies are sewing and gardening.I look forward to exchanging info. With others here.
  5. I got up to a dose of Paxil 60 mg for about 2years. I found a new psychiatrist who gave me a psychotropic gene assay via buccal swab. He told me Paxil does not work well in my body instantly reduced to 40 for about 5 weeks. Met with Dr, with gene test results Reduced down to 20mg. and in one week will go to 10mg. I feel dizzy, more comfortable by myself. Keep sending spouse to be with friends. Not laughing and light like i usually am. Some confusion when driving. i dont want to feel this way forever thats for sure.
  6. Ok, so here goes again, I had the unfortunate luck of being thrown into this horror for actually no reason at all. Back in September 2003 got sick and was given an antibiotic never had any problems before with them so i took em. Well, two weeks later not putting 2+2 together I went to the. Doc because I literally couldn't walk and had severe insomnia , like not a wink of sleep for a week also, couldn't hold onto power tools because the vibration was EXTREEM muscles stiff and sore all over and urinated almost black one night. They did tests and found nothing MRI blood. He said it was anxiety and I needed paxil, I was in horrific shape and said ok. Never had anxiety before though. Five years go by and I tapered off in March 08 things are great until I get chest infection in August. I get another antibiotic and after a few weeks, INSOMNIA, HORRIBLE PAIN, CANT WALK, TERRIBLE NIGHT SWEATS, I realize this is what happened 5 years prior and called my doc to find out what he gave me the first time I went nuts. LEVAQUIN!!! the same crap I had just finished. I begged for paxil again to straighten me out because I thought that is what fixed me the first time. Oh, he also said antibiotics can't do that, yeah right, a normal one doesn't but the atomic bomb of antibiotics can and its called a flouroquinolone. I had been FLOXED. Well, after miserable startup effects the paxil worked again and now I knew it was not me that went nuts the first time and thought paxil was harmless and made me more mellow. I read all the horror stories on paxilprogress back in 2003 when I was looking this stuff up and thought these were just weak people and the stuff is fine. I decided in 2011 to come off in one months time from 10mg. And this time weird stuff happened to me , I was reliving my teen life (which was awesome) like a tape playing over and over and songs repeating over and over and hyper excited constantly with huge adrenaline rushes. I had no idea what it was and I just pushed on. Until I found my father dead in his yard a day after he drove my mom to airport for vacation at my sisters. He was in 98F full sun all day and I found him after he failed to pick up his best buddy, my son for tae kwon do . It was not pretty there were bugs and sunken blackened eyes and just not the way you would want to remember someone. Well, in my weakness I figured I'll go back on my 10 mg. again and after lousy startup it went ok but not the same, then I noticed I was not doing all my favorite things and realized that over ten years MANY of my passions left me. So in February 13 one month taper again and 1.5 months later all hell breaks loose with insomnia terrible foot sensations and many other things like anhedonia and no libido , fog and all the usual things people get. Reinstated again and figured I would do it right. Come November 2013'i got stress fracture in foot and was taking huge amounts of NSAIDs and all of a sudden I went into withdrawal with extreme sound sensitivity and everything else. In December I kicked a table so hard it triggered an autoimmune disease which no one in my family has called psoriatic arthritis and I am sure it is withdrawal related and painfull as hell and 1 year later my foot is still swollen and now I have minor psoriasis too that my dermatologist says is rare to start at 46 years old. In January 2014 I began my 10% taper and was ok until sept. When severe withdrawal hit and the great people from PP talked me through not reinstating, I was at about 2.35. I got better but I still have daily or weekly window wave patterns but never feel normal yet. I usually only get 4 hours of sleep per night and twitch all over and no more night sweats in like 8 months. I do. Notice my sensation on fingers and feet are greatly exaggerated and I have become ticklish again ( I used to have to fake it when my little ones tickled me now it really happens). I work full time in construction and I fell exhausted every day but can't sleep, although last night I made six hours which has been extremely rare. The doctors want me on humira for my arthritis but I am holding out hope that my immune system may change when I'm off for good in a few weeks. I am currently on .8 mg and I am very scared of dropping off soon. Sorry for the long post but there it is.... Oh and my taper was lost with the closing of PP but it was generally 10% every 4 weeks or so unless I felt good I went quicker but was at nine almost a year goo and now .8 so I think it was ok.
  7. Hi everyone! I'll update my signature later but basically my long story made short for now...is that in the beginning of 2010 Effexor began to poop out after 5 years of slowly increasing dosages. I was having intense anxiety and derealization and the only explanation my Dr had was that it was the effexor and it was time to come off. He tapered me from 262.mg over 3 months while adding a small dose of Celexa a bit at a time. A month after being done Effexor and being on 40mg of Celexa, I had a significant, sudden, awful experience. Massive anxiety, derealization and suicidal awful confused and dark thoughts. Akathesia so bad i could not sit still and had to walk fast, or keep pacing in the house. I cut my dose in half that night and immediately felt relief from the suicidal thoughts and terror. The anxiety and chills, unreality or derealization disconnect, nausea, diarrhea and shakes, lasted for another 7 months with no relief, even while we attempted Ciprolex and eventually Paxil. I lost 30 pounds during that 7 months and truly thought my life and self as I had known it, were over. I finally began to stabilize and then decided it was time to get off all SSRI's. I was originally given meds to combat post partum depression and by now I figured that was in the past and my Dr agreed, it was time to get off everything. I am now tapering my paxil very slowly, and am down from 20mg to 10mg. In the meantime i still get these waves of intense anxiety, akathesia, chills, shakes, diarrhea and nausea, and a sense of profound unreality that come over me. these spells last about 2 months, and then fade and I'm left feeling pretty good, with the exception of dulled emotions and no motivation. I figure that might be from the Paxil, while the stronger waves of symptoms are still from coming off effexor too fast 21 months ago. I haven't had one of these intense waves since July, but since then have had milder versions of them, that are shorter. Considering that I'm 21 months out, maybe it's time the waves are going to get milder and easier to handle now, I'm hopeful for that! I find when I taper my paxil i do have symptoms but they aren't as strong as these other waves I get, and have had since coming off the effexor (even prior to tapering paxil). maybe this will make more sense when I create a signature,lol ...Either way, i feel SO much better now than i did even last year. I have full faith that I will eventually recover 100% and also finish this paxil taper and get back to my life. This has been a very long and frightening 3 years, and i am so looking forward to being me again! If I could change anything I would say I should have reinstated my original medication when w/d hit, and then come off much slower. However, we had no idea what the issue was, so we tried different meds instead, and that was not the answer. But here's to a new year and a new journey, with healing every step of the way.
  8. This site has been a sanctuary for several months and I would like to thank AltoStrata, her fellow Admins and all posting members for the invaluable information shared in the various forums. In this most confusing and isolating phase of my life so far, you have all helped me to feel less alone, less confused, and important teachers. I believe I may have created a meds signature line in my sign-up form, but if not I will correct that shortly. Briefly, I realized I was in a polypharmacy rut in February of this year. Prozac 10 or 20 mg (?) from early 1997 to early 1998. Newly sober, the Paxil caused "speediness" and I was switched to Paxil - Paxil 20mg/day (depression/anxiety) from 1998 to approximately Spring 2007. I simply stopped taking it after running out, was in long-term therapy and did not think twice about leaving such a "small thing" behind. Even though there were large stressors at work. The state of lability, extreme depression, dysphoria, DP, DR (terms I did not know then) were horrendous. I returned to the original psychiatrist who tried me on various other meds for a hellish 2 months, never once mentioning I might be in withdrawal from stopping the Paxil. The last straw was an Effexor trial, which put me in a state of agitation, physical heat, and inability to leave bed beyond imagination. It took months to find a new Psychiatrist, which happened about February 2008. He felt I had simply been on too small a Paxil dose - I had heard about "poop out" by that time but he dismissed it - I had not heard about withdrawal on Paxil cessation and he did not mention it. He put me back on Paxil and built up slowly from 10 to eventually 60mg. Unfortunately I don't remember the timeline for that buildup. However, 60mg became the maintenance dose at which I remained until Feb. 2017 of this year - nearly 10 years. He also became my psychotherapist and had a wonderfully humane aspect to him to which I attribute most of the great healing that happened over the first 3-4 years. My life became strong and rich and fulfilling again - in all areas. In 2010 there was a collision of traumatic stressors in work and family. As well, somatic experience of panic, high anxiety and heart palpitations such as I'd never experienced since childhood episodes of severe abuse became frequent. I made certain decisions in my life. We continued the meds and the therapy. In June (?) 2012 - after months of persistent inner agitation, weepiness, anxiety (following death of family member), he added Ativan 0.5 at night. A year later he added another 0.5 in the am. A year after that he added another 0.5 at noon. I can not know with any certainty but based on everything that I have read about tolerance and withdrawal with Paxil and Ativan, I believe that I experienced pre-taper withdrawal-like symptoms for several years. I wish I had known then - when he began adding the benzo to the Paxil - what I know now. I had trusted him so completely as a person and a professional. Fast forward to February 2017. He announced abruptly that he was closing his practice - in 3 months. We had been working together for about 9 years. The anxiety caused by the announcement led him to increase my RXs for Paxil to 80 and to double Ativan to 1mg 3 times a day. He acknowledged that the 2 drugs did not appear to be "working" or "ideal" anymore. Sadly I think his priority at that point was to get to the end of the three months without liability - so it was easier to simply up the meds and "explore referral options." Two months on the upped prescriptions saw me living like an outpatient in a chemical straightjacket - as a full on zombie. I found my way to Mad in America and the literature on iatrogenic psychotropic drug injuries, the psychiatric profession's blind faith in the hypothesis of the "chemical imbalance", and the frightening stories about withdrawing from SSRIs and benzodiazepines - especially the 2 I was prescribed. This was all quite frightening and overwhelming. I was able to find a wonderful and sympathetic therapist. The zombie straightjacket was too much. I decided to taper myself back to my "baseline" though no-longer-working (even according to the Psychiatrist) polypharmacy of Paxil 60mg and Ativan .05 3 times a day. I did that from April to August. Symptoms ranging from extreme loss of appetite, acute DP/DR, extreme and sudden heart palpitations and anxiety, and a slow-motion hyper depressive grey movie in the background looping "this is the end of the road for me" movies - but always behind a screen. The gestalt in terms of doing anything is a 1000 mile distance between a flourishing idea or thought and any action to carry it out. Including washing dishes! The search for a meds doctor who is sympathetic to a patient wishing to taper off psychotropic drugs that no longer work and are causing is still on. I will be meeting one next week, and I believe his name does appear on a list of potentially knowledgeable providers somewhere on this site. I will report back. He appears to be familiar with tapering patients off psychotropic drugs and he is also a holistic treater with experience in acupuncture, something called "functional psychology" (?), and other holistic practices. Thanks to SA I shall have with me a lot of information to discuss - very calmly - with him, including the formula of tapering 10% (vs. last dose), listening to the body even within a tapering protocol, and the question as to whether the Paxil or the Ativan should be tapered first. (I saw a psychiatrist one month ago who wrote out a taper schedule for Ativan that was very aggressive - I modified it and have "held" at an early stage after feeling my body rebelling and reading here about the 10% recommendation. Same psychiatrist was ready to have me start tapering Paxil simultaneously until I mentioned perhaps it was not a great idea and he very quickly agreed. Those fancy degrees, Research Hospital affiliations, decades of experience .... That's another story.) I wish to thank you all from the bottom of my heart - for being here.
  9. KaterTot3

    KaterTot3

    Hello, i hope im doing this right. I'm the spouse. My husband (married 10 years) has been on Paxil for years. He’s a combat veteran who struggled with re integration, anger and anxiety. The VA first out him on Zoloft, a rather high dose, and he was a zombie. Finally got him to request they change it, and they put him on Paxil (I think 60mg but I could be wrong). They didn’t give him any information about side effects. He wasnt angry anymore, which was nice. But he would get shakey, irritable and anxious if he forgot to take just one dose. He slept a lot, getting him out of bed was impossible, he just *couldn’t* then came the sexual side effects. We tried everything, and I internalized his inability to finish. I would softly cry while we tried and tried. He decided it was too high of dose, and began every other day cutting his dose in half, and right now I believe he is on a half dose daily. The last two years were especially rough. He was laid off from his well paying job and unemployed for almost a year. He started another job, but it’s seasonal so he was laid off all winter. We also have children in very busy travel sports. He finally started work again, but they sent him 6 hours away. He’s been living on his own there for about a month. He just goes to work and comes home. A week after our ten ten year anniversary, out of the blue he called and asked for a divorce. He said he loves me, he just isn’t in love, he feels happy alone. He doesn’t believe his PTSD is real, believes I cause his anxiety. i was devestated. We met when we were 18, I was there through boot camp, two deployments and 3 children. He’s my world. I immediately thought it might be his medication, an extension of the inability to finish in the bedroom. I started researching and I *think* I might be correct. I told him that he should consider his meds May be partially responsible for how he feels. We do have things to work on, but I don’t think it’s ubruptly marriage ending worthy stuff. He’s so, detached. Nothing phases him, it’s like everything that happens he could take or leave. He’s always been a quiet, reserved person but this is...different... it’s made me create my own distance, if he doesn’t care about anything why would I continue including him? He said since he feels “happy” alone, that it can’t be the medication. But he did agree to taper it off, very slowly. Hes been very distant, so I can’t ask him if he has begun tapering or if he still wants to. Since he doesn’t feel the medication is actually the problem. But I guess he wouldn’t, would he? He said he still wants the union to send him back home, and he will live in the house while we figure stuff out. He agreed that if we work on our individual stuff that we might have a chance but just doesn’t feel it. I have no no idea what to do right now. I don’t know how to best support him (regardless of the outcome). I don’t know if presenting him with the research will be helpful or anger him. Leave him be and hope for the best? If he tapers will his “real” feelings, good or bad, return? I can’t let our family implode without considering this, trying every avenue to bring him back to us.
  10. Gidday everyone. I am an ex-Paxilprogresser and when it closed I was very sick of the long horrible process, so I didn't join everyone here back then, but I finally paddled over to the U.S. from Australia. I have to keep reminding myself that the turtle got onto the ark by just keeping going, one step at a time! I started to have some decent days because I found a herbal remedy that has brought my headaches and migraines from 20 a month to 2 over a 12 month period. This means I can actually DO SOMETHING and is a wonderful relief. On those good head days, I always wonder how my old friends are going, so I intend to look you all up! I have decided to put up my history, a bit at a time, or it would be too laborious to read, so that's where I will start.
  11. Moderator note: link to benzo forum thread - Miko789: Xanax withdrawal/tapering Hi, I'm new to the forum, I have some questions I want to ask. My doctor prescribed effexor for depression, in 2009. Now I'm free of symptoms and I managed to come off with withdrawal symptoms though. That's with the antidepressant. Now I'm on Risperdal consta from November 2013 and seroxat 10mg. My doctor prescribed with risperdal consta 3,3mg/day long acting injection every two weeks. From February 2015 he lowered the dosage to 25mg/every 2 weeks equals 1,66mg/day. I tried to lower the seroxat 10mg but after 40-45h I have withdrawal symptoms vertigo, dizziness. Is it possible to cut down seroxat? How about the Risperdal consta (long acting injection). Has anyone tapered off completely without withdrawals? I read about the 10% harm reduction procedure to taper off and I'm going to tell my doctor and follow. thanks in advance
  12. Thank god for a site like this, I feel like I have been going crazy for the last few years . I'm going to try to keep this short and sweet. I was put on Paxil when I was a teenager as my doctor thought it would help me get through some difficult years, counseling would of been a much better approach. I was sexually abused as a child but never told anybody so when I was a teenager I dealt with this by using recreational drugs to ease the pain . My parents thought it would be a quick fix being on an antidepressant to help me out. I used Paxil for years upping and lowering my dose from 20mg to 50mg as needed , thinking that I had to take them because I had a chemical imbalance . I never thought once coming of them or did I know the bad effects they can do to you. Only up until I had my last child three years ago everything changed. I was taking only 30mg of Paxil which my psychiatrist told me it would be fine for the baby . I had to have an emergency cesarean and had complications. I got a servers infection and that brought on my first panic attack and severe aniexty. My baby was going withdrawal from Paxil shaking and wouldn't sleep . The nurses was giving me strong painkillers that I think was making me worse , after 2 weeks in the maternity hospital I was then put in a mothers and baby unit at mental hospital . I only lasted a day as didn't won't to harm myself or my child , I just wanted this aniexty to stop ,I was constantly worrying and looking at it now my hormones would have been all over the place. I upped my medication to highest dose under my psychiatrist advice. I felt better in a few weeks. A year later I thought I was doing fine and lowered my dose and I crashed, couldn't eat waves of aniexty , agitation, dizziness, insomnia ,derealization and night sweats the list goes on. My psychiatrist then put me on Seraquel at night which seemed to work, but I was getting up in the middle of the night eating like crazy and then couldn't get up in the morning. So I stopped taking the 25mg of Seraquel. Back to my psychiatrist I went and he told me that he thought it would be a good idea to change to another antidepressant, his chose was Cymbalta and he wanted me to tapper my Paxil in 5 days and 3 days with nothing then start with 30mg of Cymbalta for 1 week 60mg for two weeks then 90mg for 2 weeks. I crashed very bad into my 2nd week in Cymbalta and went to see my psychiatrist again, who told me its my aniexty and depression coming back, which now I know is bullsh*t. I think I was having withdrawals from the Paxil . I went to a new psychiatrist who told me it was Cymbalta that was doing it to me and tapered me off Cymbalta again in a week and started me at 50mg of Zoloft for 3 days 75mg 3 days and now 100mg as well as still taking my 50mg of Seraquel. I feel like I won't to come off all of this and I know my family and friends aren't going to support me, as they don't understand. I halved my dose of Seraquel to 25mg 4 nights ago and my waves of aniexty are getting worse . I would love meet people on this site who can help me out with this. I have two beautiful children that are my life and I just want to be normal again and I think I would be better if a gave my brain a chance to heal itself but I'm very scared.
  13. serrj

    serrj: Paxil

    Hello, I'm serrj I'm 35yo ukrainian expat living in Netherlands. 4 years ago I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and hypochondria. Things wend bad very rapidly, during few months I was turned from a normal healthy men to a miserable clot of nerves with no ability to eat, sleep, work, and live. Stupid Dutch healthcare system threw me from one GP to another with no help. The only medicine I was prescribed was Oxazepam during the day and Temazepam for sleep at night. Non of them helped me with depression, so after a months of struggling I ended up at specialist in special clinic for mental disorders. This is where my Paxil road begins. I started with 40 mg/day, though doctor insisted I need 60. It started to work almost immediately: most symptoms went away in weeks, I tappered from benzos and I felt totally "cured" after around 3 month. There were side effects as well, but I could live with that. In june 2015 I made a first attempt to tapper. At dosage ~5mg/day I started to have severe heart arrhythmia, I even ended up in ER once. So I returned to 20mg and stayed on this dosage until beginning of 2017. During whole 2017 I gradually reduced dosage by 5mg: 20,15,10,5,2.5.. I've been on 2.5 mg/day for few month now and last week decided it is time to stop. So 20 of March 2018 for my last intake. Surprisingly, I felt totally fine 6 days after, which made me confident that there will be no withdrawals at all. I was so naive. It hitted me on day 7: mood swing, anxiety, confusion, lost of appetite, stomach and chest pain. Last night I didnt sleep at all, despite all effort and right now I feel myself just horrible. The worst nightmare, hell on earth. Totally depressed, pain in whole body, anxiety, fear, you name it. And and have a full-time job that I can easily lose if it will continue like this. This morning I even had suicidal thoughts. I'm desperate Should I return to last working dosage? (2.5mg/day) Or is it too late? And sorry about my English, I'm not native speaker and obviously cannot concentrate now..
  14. I was on a medication for depression,anxiety, and panic attacks for 2-3 yrs than I went off the med , but 2 yrs later I relapsed, than I started to take 30mg paxil. - On Paxil 30mg for 15 yrs than I tapered it off around aug 2013 went down to 20mg for 3 month than 10mg for 2 month than 5mg for 2 month than 5mg every other day for 1 month than 5mg every two day for 1 month than 5mg every there day for 1 month than 5mg every four day for 1 month than 5mg every five day for 1 month than 5mg every six day for 1 month than 5mg every 7 day for 1 month than 5mg every 8 day for 1 month July 30 2014- Went on vacation- I took a 3 day bus ride, then a wk later, i took an 3 day bus back. On the way back all I was very anxious and had very negative thoughts. I had a panic attack on the bus so I took a 5mg of paxil. When i get back home, it didnt go away and havent slept in days. Anxiety, despression panic attacks got worse. Went to go see family doctor, now i am back on paxil 20mg daily. Aug 10, 2014 - 5mg (on bus) Aug 11, 2014 - 10mg (at home) aug 12, 2014 - 20mg (after seeing dr) so here I am taking 20mg of paxil again daily. I think I tapered down to fast, because i didn't know better. -This is the second time I try tapper off Tapper off 20mg for 11 months went down to 10mg right now. when I was on 11mg I was ok but I just start the 10 mg 10 days ago April 25, 2016 Right now I having anxiety attack and depression. what Should I do. go back up to 20mg or Stay on 10 mg. I am doing this on my own I don't have a doctor and should I go see a psychologist or a doctor better. If you have any suggestions or advice, please feel free to post. thx
  15. hi,all been on &off antidepressants for 20 yrs but never felt this crummy.since stopping Paroxetine have had flu-like symptoms ,then fatigue loss of appetite,taste changes,eye problems(excessive blinking actually started while on it,that's why I quit).depression,anxiety,just miserable,wondering if I should reinstate or just try & hang in there.I was on it about 6 mos.stopped May 4 after about 7 wk taper.thanks for any suggestions
  16. I'm another refugee from PP....I was so shocked when I logged in and found it gone! Very upsetting. I found a few people whose names I recognized from PP so that was nice. I'm currently in month 14 of my cold turkey WD.....I was too far out when I found out I should have tapered....PP was a wealth of information and support for me and reading the uplifting posts that "This too shall pass" was so encouraging in the thick of things. I am here if anyone needs an ear, wants to ask what my experience has been like, etc. My name is Gina and I am from Canada
  17. Hello, I have started taking 10 mg paxil in the morning and 2.5 mg rexapin (generic for zyprexa) at night after bankruptcy followed by a break up. I have used paxil for 4.5 months and stopped along with rexapin ( fast taper for paxil and cold turkey rexapin). I had terrible anxiety. It was so bad that i was shaking inside all the time. I have survived for a month and than after talking to my dr i started takinng olanzapine at 5,5 months mark. I immediately started to feel better, now its been a little more than a month on only olanzapine. Last week i started tapering after consulting with my dr who is not a fan of drugs(wants me off this drugs asap) but fast tapering is his favourite i guess. He recomended 3/4 dose for a week , 1/2 for a week and 1/4 for a week and than stop. I started taking 3/4 dose for 4 days now, mentally i am not so bad but i started to feel really tired that i can not leave my bed. Is this a common withdrawl symptom ? BR Gonzi
  18. I came off Paxil over the last 3 months and was doing well. I started Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (rTMS) rTMS is a safe, alternative and effective, non-invasive neurostimulation treatment for patients suffering with depression who do not respond to antidepressant medications OR who cannot tolerate medication side effects. i change my diet completely. I exercised every day , but I think like many I was over confident and went too fast. I reluctanly decided to reintroduce ri and small dose of 2.5 mg of the 50 I was originally taking. I hope to see some success as my symptoms are nailing me like a truck hitting a stop sign. I will post my results positive or negative going forward. Eugene
  19. Hi you all! I am Athena. So my tough journey begins in 2001, when I am diagnosed with depression. I am then prescribed Effexor, which instantly gives me huge side effects: vomiting, tremors, sweats... But I am a tough warrior and I put up with them, for a year and a half. In 2005, depression comes back, and here starts the trial-and-error of many, many AD's: Celexa, Zoloft, Effexor, desipramin, Wellbutrin, mirtazepin, Lamictal, Remeron, Abilify, nortriptylin, Cipralex, Cymbalta, and others I don't remember. They all give me side effects that are almost as bad as the disease in itself. When I would try to stop them, I would have really bad symptoms of depression, so I began to believe that that was going to be my life, which is quite depressing in itself! Last summer (2012), while being on Cymbalta, I developped really bad sleeping problems: I would sleep maximum 3 hours per night, and only with a med called Imovane. So I started to be addicted to that in order to sleep. But I was so tired that I decided to stop the Cymbalta, so my doctor prescribed me Paxil. I was already on Wellbutrin as well. Paxil made me SO sleepy, that I tried to quit in Sept. 2012, first from 20mg to 10mg, which went well, and then 2 weeks later from 10mg to 0. Outch. That's when I found out about withdrawal symptoms, which I had never heard of before for AD's. It was awful, but it might have been my revelation, because they were really PHYSICAL symptoms. I started to read a lot about the subject on the internet. I have learned a lot, and I have started to think that the depression symptoms I have been having when I tried many times to stop my meds were maybe in fact WITHDRAWAL symptoms. My doctor didn't think so. Even so, I started to taper slowly from Paxil and to take good care of myself in other natural ways. So here I am now, on 7mg Paxil, 100mg Wellbutrin and 2.5mg Imovane. My doctor keeps telling me to try and taper Paxil faster than I am now... so he can be able to prescribe me something else... a MAOI (?).I am not really interested in trying a 20th (?) medication. All of the previous ones have given me really bad side effects that have put my life on hold for 10 years... Why would this one be different? He claims that I am going to have a depression relapse if I don't take any medication... So here is my first question: do you guys think what I have experienced as "depression relapse" when I was trying to stop the AD's many times in the last 10 years, might have been in fact withdrawal symptoms? And that if I taper them a lot more gradually, I might not have those "depression symptoms" forever? And therefore, I wouldn't have to take the so-called MAOI? My second question is: which one do you think I should taper first? Paxil or Wellbutrin? I wanted to get off Paxil as fast as possible because it was making me so sleepy, but right now, it seems like the side effects from Wellbutrin are more disturbing. It has always affected my breathing, like I have to make an effort to breath completely, and it has given me some joint pain. But right now these seem to be worse, breathing is more difficult and it makes the breathing muscles become too contracted and sore. Plus I know that breathing right is important during recovery... Also, the problem with Wellbutrin is that you're not supposed to cut the pill, since the covering is doing the "slow-release" job... Well this was my story! I know it's a looong and boring story but it's mine... If anyone would have any input or advice on one or both of my questions, I would be SO grateful!! Also, please forgive my English mistakes, it is not my mother tongue. I really wish a full physical and mental health to everyone here, and I am looking forward to know and discuss with you all!! All the best. -Athena
  20. Ozil

    Ozil off Paxil

    I have been in this paxil drug for 3 year and quit it cold turkey. And has been sober for last 3 year,. But these years were like a hell to me. The mood swings insomnia stomach pain panic attack rest leg syndrome etc made my life miserable. Still these especially insomnia hit back and feel miserable. I wish never have taken this paxil.
  21. Dear all i am happy im not alone, i have read many posts and see that at least in this world i am....not alone. 3rd attempt to taper 20mg paxil.... almost 2 years now and stuck at 3.6 using liquid paxil. my way was 0.2mg every week till now is great but as i reached 3.4 for a few days anxiety creeped , insomnia and waking up sweating and panic . my problem is even updosing 0.2mg which i did makes me feel a different worse.( agitation weird thoughts half the day. immediately updoased 3.5 and was back to normal only 2 days but still not enough so went to previous ( 10 days back 3.6 mg and hoping to stabalize here somewhere. then hold 2 weeks if im ok and then resume slower starting from this dose as i know SERT occupancy is telling my brain whops here is another drop ( had 1 same enstance at 9.2mg ) aggressive running, getting a cold or any fever makes me need to wait and gives WD symptoms. i have no physical WD just panic anxiety and insominia mild depression... usually only feeling down on day3 of a drop and first 2 days sleep is crappy. im interested in the cortisol thing i truley believe its the cause that WD symptoms i have ( awaking in panic and sweating and anxiety waves and windows) this past week trying to stabilise..... so...... vit C 1g and baby ASpirin at bedtime as the pubmed mentioned . an endocrinologist told me L-carnitine too. will start aspirin first and see it lowers in after a week of use ( 1.5mg per kilo so maybe 2 aspirins in 1 week if it didnt work. i get scared when i read some people have extreme trouble after 1mg .... if my experiment works ill still go slower and listen to my body but it feels like im crossing 2 building roofs on a thread holding a pole in my hands to balance.. cant go up or down right now without feeling it big time. any suggestions???
  22. Hello everyone, Glad to find this forum as I have been lost without advice and the GP is clueless. I am also a health care professional myself. So I was started on Seroxat/Paxil in 2001( 20mg ) and have been on it for over 16 years. Altering doses but hovered around 10mg on the liquid form for majority. I then decided this year to taper and went too fast. I went from 10mg to 2mg in around 4 months. I then kind of crashed only a few weeks ago. I then upped my dose to 8mg and have been on that dose for 5 weeks. I still feel crap and all the initial ssri side effects of when I originally started. Horrific. My question is how long do I wait at 8mg to feel better or at least balance? My plan is to wait until week 8 and if no improvement up my dose to 12mg but its taking me in the wrong direction. I want to come off this drug. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated??
  23. Hi everyone, So glad to have found this forum in my journey weaning off Paxil. Because of severe withdrawal symptoms during my doctor's recommended tapering schedule, I'm weaning off Paxil painstakingly slowly (liquid prescription, with a syringe). I have a question about tapering at smaller doses. I accidentally missed a dose (just 1.2 mg.) on January 17. Anyone who has taken Paxil knows that you do. not. skip. a dose. I don't know how it happened, but I forgot to take it one night (for the first time in about ten years). For the next TWO WEEKS, I was nauseous, had trouble eating, had mood swings, and worst of all, had some very scary depersonalization (feeling like I was in a dream or on LSD). Very scary. So, this can really happen from just missing a tiny 1.2 mg. dose? I called my doctor and they said this "isn't because of Paxil." Lol. Thanks so much! (This is why I'm so grateful for this forum--people actually dealing with the reality of tapering off these medicines.) Wouldn't tapering get easier as I get down to lower doses? ? What am I going to do at lower doses? The 10% method sounds good in theory, but yikes -- it will take forever just to get off 1.2 mg. My eventual goal is to get off Paxil and Zoloft, but my primary goal is to stay alive. I appreciate your thoughts and opinions! Thanks! I ran out of room in my signature for my quite-lengthy history, so I am expanding it here since this is my intro post: On Paxil since 1996--anxiety and depression. It worked for a while, but had to keep increasing it. 20 mg --> 40 mg --> 60 mg. For years I've wanted to get off it -- it wasn't working anymore, but very difficult to come off. Early 2013--Getting treated for sleep apnea (with CPAP) eliminated about 75% of my anxiety. Who knew?!?!? How long had I had sleep apnea, but treated anxiety with meds? March 2013: Feeling so good with CPAP treatment that I started weaning off Paxil about 10 mg/month: 60mg to 50 mg to 40 mg (NO negative effects whatsoever--if anything, I just felt better and better.) July 2013-- went from 40 mg to 30 mg. Some dizziness; nothing major. Starting a new job; paused taper. June 2014, began Paxil taper again, going from 30 to 20 in one week. (I can't believe that a medical professional actually advised me to do this.) This was very, very bad (dizziness and suicidality--the first time in my life--very scary), so went back to 25mg. Stayed at 25 mg. for another year. Not looking forward to going back down and continuing taper! In June 2015 started a cross-taper while adding Zoloft--went from 25 mg. Paxil to 20, to 10, to [this was the most difficult one] 5.) The cut from 10 to 5 mg gave me akathisia; nausea; suicidal thoughts; rage; and severe anxiety. Most of my time was consumed in dealing with Paxil tapering effects. August 2015 -- obtained a prescription for liquid Paxil. September: 4 mg Paxil October 2015: Suicidality -- doctor advised me to go up on Zoloft; I did so to save my life. Now at 100 mg Zoloft. (But it's not working -- my exercise, eating, meditation, acupuncture, and supplements are.) October to December 2015: 4 mg Paxil --> 3 mg --> 2 mg --> 1.6 mg. Symptoms are tolerable at this rate; the worst is a feeling of being intoxicated for several hours a day. But going this slow makes me feel like it will take forever to get off! ! ! Currently: 1.2 mg Paxil. Also: Vitamin D; Vitamin B complex; magnesium; plenty of protein; exercise; acupuncture; meditation/mindfulness; working with a naturopathic doctor.
  24. Hey, I want to intodruce myself on this site because I´m suffering a lot from the Paxil withdrawal even though I have not taken Paxil for a very long time. I was prescribed to Paxil in January 2016 because of a Burn Out / Depression. While Cipralex has not taken the huge panic from me when my Depression/Burn Out started my Doctor said we should try Paxil. My mood was very quickly a lot better with the help of Cipralex but the panic was huge. I´ve never experienced a depression in my life so it was very frigthening to feel such a huge impact in such a negative way. Anyways after about 1 Month on Cipralex my doctor decided to switch on Paxil because "he made good experiences" with this drug. I asked him on which dose I should take it whereon he answered that 40mg should be fine. At this time I had no experiences with Antidepressents so I completly trusted his words and I took my first pill. I remember the first day on Paxil I woke up in the middle of the night and my whole body was tingling and I´ve sweated a lot. There were a few more symptoms but I can´t really remember this time. So after 5 month on 40mg I decided to quit Paxil. (See from my signature) As the symptoms from my depression slowly dissapeared I felt more and more that new symptoms are getting stronger. At this time I thought that I still suffer from my depression and that it will never ever end although I was doing sports at least 3 times a week and going to the psychologist once a week to talk about my problems which really helped me in a way. It´s hard to put my thoughts and epxeriences since 2015 in proper english so I hope you guys can understand me. So in October 2016 I found a german forum for problems with antidepressent and they were very helpful with me and my symptoms. This was the first time someone told me how dangerous Paxil can be and how tremendous the effects to some people on paxil are. They also tried to convince me to taper the drug really slowly off but I thought the earlier my body is clear from this drug the earlier I get my old life back. The impact when I stopped taking Paxil 6 month ago were massive. While tapering it off it was really hard sometimes as well but the time I reached 0mg felt like the hell on earth. I wake up every morning with the feeling I just came out of a night club where I drank a bottle of vodka and snorted 1 g of cocaine. These are the symptoms I suffered the whole time on paxil. Some became stronger the lower I got, some started to fade away and some dissapeared. I copied some from a success story because it is exactly the same hope its okay: Dark depression, anxiety, paranoia, obsessive compulsive, panic attacks, intrusive/obsessive thoughts that tortured me, hopelessness, irrational thinking, suicidal thoughts, brain zaps, intense organic fear, severe inner-body tension that felt like my whole insides were clamped up, sexual dysfunction, severe tension, terrible shoulder and upper arm pain, mania, nausea, dizziness, vertigo, feeling like my brain was on fire, feeling like a part of my brain was missing, lots of preassure in my head, floating head feeling, body temperature regulation problems – being super-hot or cold, constipation, dehydration, lack of appetite, feeling dead, anhedonia, akathisia, mood swings, insomnia, terrible brain fog and inability to think clearly, sensitive vision and hearing, inching and burning skin, cold like symptoms, head congestion, phantom smells, constant tinnitus, severe fatigue and exhaustion, health anxiety, my brain was not able to give the "command" watch left before you cross the street even though I know how to do it ?!, derealization, feeling of never getting healthy again, feeling quite healthy for a few days and then feeling like dying again, intense nightmares, waking up in the middle of the night sweaty with delusions and disorientation, sometimes things seemed to moved very slowly or a street looked like it never ends or I was walking treadmill. As I said some dissapeared but some like the derealization or the dizziness, mood swings, ear buzzing, brain fog and so on are still there. But I´ve the windows and waves which is a good sign, right? I´m writing you because I can´t find something similar in the german forum. Next to the symptoms above I´m suffering a lot from Injuries. Almost every month I have a new injury and today I´m not able to do any sports because of the inflammation of my muscles and tendons. Sport was the only thing besides meditation which helped me to cope with the symptoms. A few days ago I was at my doctor again and we did a full blood analysis. He called me one day later and told me that my blood is totally fine but my CK-Level is very high (1200) normal is ca 200. I called a neurologist which checked me at the same day with a few standard tests. They were all good as well. Last year I checked my thyroid & my brain with MRT everything completely normal. Do you have experiences with injuries during wd? Is it normal to suffer a lot from Paxil even though I´ve taken it only for 1 year? I read that Paxil can cause damage on the immune system? Is this the reason for my injuries? If my immune system is damaged, is it for ever or can it heal like the brain? Best regards, Maggie
  25. Hello everybody. I'm not a native english speaker so excuse me in advance for the errors. I started taking paroxetine 20 mg at the end of 2010 when I was 21 years old. My doctor prescribed it because I was a little depressed at that time due to university stress and I was having also some psychosomatic distress, especially in the digestive system. Paxil worked fine, made me happy and relaxed but erased my libido and made me emotionless and numb. My doc said it wasn't addictive (bull****) when I CT'd in 2011-2012 I lasted 8 months feeling like ****, almost completely disabled (didn't know what was going on). When I reinstated the 20mg everything cleared up so I realized that all the nightmare had been withdrawal from the paxil. Now after another year of use (end of 2012 till June 2013) I'm gradually tapering but I crashed when reached the 10mg (anxiety, lack of appetite, terror, nightmares, nausea) so I realized I have to do it more slowly and updosed to 14mg about 2 weeks ago (last stable dose) hoping to get better soon. What is scaring for me is all the journey I have still to face down to 0, but I hope that tapering slowly will not be like when I ct'd and suffered so much. Thank you for your time, hoping to find wise suggestions and support.
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