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Found 74 results

  1. Kristine: Not alone

    Moderator note: link to Kristine's benzo thread - Kristine: Protracted clonazepam withdrawal? Hello, I am new to this site and would firstly like to extend my gratitude to all the people who have shared their stories and support. I now know I am not alone. My story is long and complex so I will attempt to condense it. I am 43 years old and was introduced to antidepressants 10 years ago after being diagnosed with MDD, GAD and PTSD (l do not feel comfortable with labels) by my psychiatrist. During the first 8 years of treatment multiple antidepressants and other psychotropic medications were prescribed. I will fast forward to October 2015 when I attempted to end my life (I had never been suicidal prior to taking antidepressants). I had to resign from work and was hospitalised for 1 month. At the time I had been taking citalopram for a number of years and had reached the maximum dose. My intuition told me it was not helping. I wanted to stop this medication and my psychiatrist was supportive of this decision. However, it is obvious to me now that she was inexperienced and uneducated with this process. The citalopram was ceased over one week and due to severe anxiety I was commenced on seroquel and diazepam. After leaving hospital I managed to taper off the seroquel and diazepam but became increasingly unwell both mentally and physically. My psychiatrist convinced me that my mental illness had returned and I was commenced on Parnate which was increased in dose over 3 months. Instead of improving my mental and physical ailments worsened and my psychiatrist sort a second opinion. I was hospitalised again in May 2016 under the 'care' of another psychiatrist. This was the beginning of an indescribable hell where I was treated like a human lab rat. Looking back the medications he prescribed were beyond belief and I was the victim of poly pharmacy without adequte professional rational. Unfortunally, like so many others, I was vulnerable and trusted his guidance. He treated me as both an inpatient and out patient over a one year period. Over this time I was prescribed over 14 psychotropic medication some of which were abruptly ceased and crossed over with other medications. If this wasn't enough I was subjected to 15 sessions of unnessaccery ECT. Not surprisingly, I was in a zombified state, unable to function and unable to return to work. My anxiety and depression was not alleviated and I was plagued with tremors, nausea, vomiting, fatigue and migraines. By April 2017 I ceased my appointments with this psychiatrist (he had little belief in withdraw symptoms or side effects of the medication he prescribed - he resorted to blaming me) and returned to my previous psychiatrist. Over the past eight months I have the mammoth task of withdrawing from multiple medications. These include escitalopram (completed reduction), Lithium (competed reduction), clonazepam (partial reduction), bupropion (completed reduction), seroquel (completed reduction), dexamphetamine (partial reduction) and fluoxetine (no reduction). My withdrawal symptoms are horrendous and relentless. My psychiatrist has been unable to advise me along a comfortable path. She appears to be in denial and her support has mostly evaporated. I feel abandoned, alone and frightened. I was forced to seek information independently (for which I am grateful), which continues to be a hideous realisation that for years I was in a constant state of drug withdrawal, side effects and drug interaction. I also feeling very angry about my treatment. I am tapering at the 10% rate now (one medication at a time) but even though I know road ahead will be long and rocky, I feel a sense of empowerment from educating myself. What I am experiencing is common and I am finally breaking free from the clutches of psychiatry.
  2. Hi, SA. Long time lurker jumping in. As it says in signature, I'm still at a very high dose of prisitq and a more reasonable one of seroquel. I don't want to be, but there you go. I don't know if or when I'll get off them, because I'm 21 and juggling studying full time with having a messy head. But I thought I would say hi, because there's no harm in it.
  3. Kimberly''s Intro

    Dx: Bipolar, depression, anxiety, PTSD, treatment resistant insomnia, CFS, Fibro, chronic pain Current meds as of Dec. 2017: Lamictal 200mg bid Omeprazole 200 mg bid Motrin 800mg qam Iron 65mg qam Despiramine 125mg qhs Seroquel 300mg qhs Remeron 30 mg qhs Clonopin 0.5 mg up to 5 tabs a day as needed (can take up to 3 pills at one time) *** I very faithfully take my med as prescribed. Supplements when I remember to take them: magnesium, iodine, zinc, probiotic I attempted to drop Seroquel down to 250mg for a couple weeks and was VERY irritability and awful feeling, so I ended up moving it back to 300mg. I had also recently dropped the Clonopin down from 5 tablets to 4 tablets a day. I worry about being on Seroquel cause diabetes runs in my family. As of now, my HGa1C shows a decreased risk for diabetes. I am about 70 pounds over weight. I have lost 50 pounds since May 1. My main issue is massive insomnia. That is the main reason for the poly pharmacy. I've been dx bipolar since 2005 (I am 37), but on anti-depressants since 2002. Due to my lack of knowledge and horrid docs, was on up to 10 psych meds at a time prior to 2009. Two 3 year periods in my 20s only slept 10 hours a week, even tho I was medicated so heavily I could barely move. I was so exhausted and wrung out I wanted to die. I'm on the seroquel, remeron, and desipramine mainly for sleep but they also help mood. I average 4-6 hours sleep, but it takes me 12 hours to get it. I wake up every 45-60 minutes. So don't typically feel rested. If I nap during the day, my sleep at night is no worse. If I don't take clone pin during the day to nap, I get very irritable and overwhelmed filling. Sensory overload. I've been off work for 2.5 years this time around, for mood issues and pain issues.
  4. ADMIN NOTE See ang's Intro topic with her earlier history here ☼ ang: help and confidence needed Hello Altostrata and friends. I now believe I am a success story. I am working, contributing and ENJOYING life again. I am 58, so I am grateful that I can enjoy maybe a few more years of my life. From the amount of drugs I was on, this is a miracle. Took me I would say, many years. Mistakes I made, so, so many, ........then in desperation .......... I found this wonderful lifeline Surviving Antidepressants. The pharma fraud, and psychiatric fraud, and $$$$ made destroying lives on these poisons, I can never forgive. I have not been able to update my own timeline, as I have been so happily busy. I do, however, wish to write my survival story, maybe in 6 months, when I am permanent in my job, and will update with all the things I have done in the last 6 months. Just wanted to say, is hard to revisit this site, remembering how ill and desperate I was. But I will, and I will contribute when I can. Yes, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, for me the agony waxed and waned for a couple of years. Keep up the fight, never give in. Happy Easter Everyone. I am so hoping you may be able to enjoy, but I know how ill I have been, and family and friends were just too much to cope with. This easter, I cant WAIT to see my grandkids and family. Yes the brain recovers from these poisons. Cheers Ang
  5. I am trying to wean off of seroquel and it’s breaking my heart the depression is killing me and the weight I’ve put on is very depressing
  6. Hi folks, First of all I'm new to this site, so feel free to tell me I'm in the wrong area or redirect me.. But here's my story... I currently have what I think is severe anhedonia. Last July, I was a bit depressed (I stress a bit, not majorly).......doctor gave me lexapro 10. After taking this, I vomited on the first night and developed sleep problems. Later in the week, I was given 25 seroquel which apparently would help balance out adverse effects of lexapro.......by the end of the week, I wasn't sleeping and I was suicidal. I subsequently was admitted to hospital. In hospital, I got more and more meds thrown at me and my mid august I was on 125 seroquel, 30 mirtazapine, 20 lexapro, 20 Olanzapine/Zyprexa....My main problem was the medication ripped my stomach apart.....the docs didn't believe me and just gave me more and more meds. I left hospital anyway on the concoction I mentioned.....I spent the following four months on these meds. During those four months, I felt no emotion whatsever, nothing. I felt suicidal, and that I would never recover. I had no desire to do anything. I just stayed in bed until late in the day, even though my sleep did not feel like real sleep. By mid November, i realised that the medication was messing me up, I demanded that I gradually come off everything. On that day, the doctor dropped the mirtazapine, and cut everything else in half. There was a quick taper, maybe too quick, and by christmas eve I was off everything. There were brief windows of emotion during the taper but still 95% anhedonia. Days after I went off everything....I cried for the first time in six months.....days later I laughed for the first time in months... I'm now 6 weeks off everything, I had huge headaches up unitl last week. My stomach started to improve after going off everything and is on the mend. However, I'm still worried about emotions/desires/thoughts etc.....over the last six weeks....I've had maybe 5 occassions where I felt strong positive emotions...and maybe 3 times where I've been sad/angry to the point of proper crying. outside of those 8 occassions, there's still an awful amount of flat feeling, apathy etc... I'm worried and wonder how long or if I will recover at all. Feedback welcome!!
  7. Hey, everyone. Here's my introduction (I hope it's not too long): In 1994, at 19, I suffered panic attacks from being bullied in school and having cognitive errors in my thinking (perfectionism, negative self talk, etc.) My parents took me to a psychiatrist who told me I had a "chemical imbalance in my brain," prescribed me 80 mg of Prozac a day, and kicked me out the door. I received no therapy and from that day forward saw myself as a mental health patient. This diagnosis changed the course of my entire life. My Prozac took six weeks to kick in, and it brought with it a slew of side effects: generalized anxiety, hypervigilance (constant surveying the world and my body for signs of panic), stomach cramps, and irritable bowel syndrome. Like the proverbial boiling frog who doesn't notice the raising temperature, the side effects eased in to my life so slowly I thought they were a part of me and my "chemical imbalance." In essence I had a paradoxical reaction to the drug: it amplified my existing struggles but I had no idea my medication was the source. I was never told this was possible, nor was I told about the danger of trying to come off. The side effects made work outside the home, socializing, and dating extremely difficult because I was always afraid of the next wave of anxiety that would send me racing to the washroom. I watched my friends grow up and have careers, partners, and families, while I tried to buoy what was left of my self-esteem with self-help books and different therapists, none of who ever questioned the drug or the dosage. After two years of cognitive behavioral therapy to untwist the errors in my thinking, I tried coming off the drug under the supervision of my doctor in 2006 but the initial reduction of 20 mg every two weeks proved to be far too steep. When I reached zero I had a few days of bliss, then an absolute mental collapse. I developed akathisia and was unable to sit still and paced relentlessly and lost control of my emotions. I felt completely hollow and cried for no reason, all the while suffering from unspeakable anxiety. My parents debated admitting me to a hospital but was told that the doctors would check my medication levels then ask me to leave as there would be nothing they could do. I went to my psychiatrist who misdiagnosed my condition not as withdrawal but as depression and anxiety that the Prozac had been treating. Desperate not to lose my mind, I restarted the drug and lost another ten years to side effects. Two years ago I lowered my dose from 40 mg to 30 mg. Three days later I was to meet friends for dinner for as long as my anxiety would allow. I braced myself during the meal for the inevitable tsunami of mental anguish but what I felt instead was a mere ripple. I was stunned, then perplexed. When I realized what was happening and that the drug had been the cause, I burst into tears. Instead of racing home after the meal as I so often had in the past, my friends and I went to a movie. Over the past few months I've been easing off Prozac at 5 mg every six weeks. My quality of life improves with each reduction. My hypervigilance and anxiety all but vanished at 20 mg. At 15 mg I have become more social than I have ever been, and at 10 mg I feel like myself again - sort of. I've been on 10 mg of Prozac since May 9th, and I'm also on 50 mg of Seroquel. I want to get off the Prozac completely but I'm going to stay at 10 mg for at least three months until I know I'm stable. Though most of my anxiety is gone, I had a panic attack last week. I had an appointment with my psychiatrist yesterday over how much I've missed out on from the medication and cried through the whole thing. Naturally she was concerned that this might be a relapse of depression/anxiety, but I honestly feel better now than I ever did on the higher dose. So...that's me!
  8. Thank you for accepting me into your forum, im so grateful to a member Cheeky who introduced me to this site... I have been on zoloft for 13 years. The first few years were fine, then I started to become addicted to drinking large quantities of alcohol, mainly wine. I asked my doctor about this drinking thing, she said there was no evidence of such thing. My drinking got so bad I had to go to rehab. I'm not a drinker I drink occasionally a glass or two of wine. I could not believe what was happening to me. When I was in rehab I also decided to go cold turkey on zoloft, the rehab centre knew this. But, no one advised me against it, I had no idea of the implications. This was last June 2016. When I got out of rehab I felt a little teary, after seeing my doctor he advised I should go back on Zoloft so I did. I started to feel better, after4 months of being back on it I asked my doctor if I could reduce from my dose of 50mg to 25mg, he was not too keen on the idea. I told him if I started to feel bad I would get back on my normal dose again. I felt OK. I left my job in April because it was very stressful. I went back to drinking i could not believe it! I was thinking all the time how could this behavior be me it's so not me! Then one day I started to feel not so right. Went to the doctor he said go back up on 50mg which I did, this didn't work so he said go up to 75mg. I felt I wanted jump out of my skin I thought I was going insane it was the scariest moment of my life. I had to rush to an after hours doctor because I felt so bad he prescribed a beta blocker medication because my blood pressure was through the roof! I felt so ill on the blood pressure medication i had to go backto the doctor and they took the beta blocker off me, I felt a little better. The nightmare was just the beginning of a roller coaster ride that went on 4 months. I was feeling so anxious it turned into feeling so scared and full of terror! I started to become very aggressive my doctor said I had to taper off zoloft to get off it all together because it was not working. It became worst I tapered within 2 months, I believe it was too soon. No doctor or psychiatrist really knows how to work this through. I was in hell, I was medication free and things were not improving. I had to check myself in a rehab clinic to get back on medication safely. Once I was at the clinic they put me on a different anti depressant which didn't agree with me I was so ill. Eventually they put me back on zoloft because I requested it was the only medication I knew. I was so scared and in despair! Now I'm on 75mg of zoloft and Quitepine at 25mg in the morning and 75mg at night, its so crazy !. I still don't feel 100%, Zoloft has taken away 13 years of my life. Please, please do not touch antidepressants it will change your life forever not for the good! I have now started to taper my Seroquel med from 100mg down to 87.5mg on 10/11/17 i hope all goes well, im very scared! I have been on this wretched med for just over a month. I woukd like to eventually get off Zoloft but i still feel i have not stabilized after having to back on it in October. Zoloft 50mg 2004 - June 2016 50mg Aug 2016 25mg Feb - Jun 2017 75mg 13 Oct 2017 Seroquel 100mg 13 Oct 2017 87.5mg 10 Nov 2017
  9. How do you know if what you're feeling is withdrawal related or not? I was on 400 mg and once I got to 100 I got a compounding pharmacy to make 5mg pills and the. 2.5 mg pills. It's still been tough but manageable. I did brain optimization that DEFINITELY helped with sleep. I used to have insomnia every drop but since getting that it's SO much better. Since going from 5mg to 2.5 mg (the biggest drop I've ever done) I feel like something is broken inside of me. And next I'll stop completely which is scary. I'm hoping it won't last long and I'll feel better. I'm so weary of the roller coaster. I cannot believe I'm feeling this bad when I went so slow.
  10. I have been tapering of seroquel. I took 1/8 of a 300mg tablet for a while, then more recently I made a 20% cut on the span of 1week and a half, I realized I went a bit too far, too quickly, this gives me around 30mg of active substance. I've pushed a bit too far because I've not been sleeping well for about 2 weeks, These last days I'm only getting a good night sleep after about 3/4 nights sleeping badly (I guess I become too tired and then it's easier to sleep better). It took me about 1week and a half to get kind of used to a 15% cut (that was 3weeks and a half ago) but then trying to speed up the process I've cut 5% more which led me to not sleeping well for these 2 weeks, not sleeping well means sleeping 4/6 hours. About a year ago when I started tapering I was sleeping an average of 12 hours and still waking up tired, and wanting to sleep more. Then after tapering a bit I started to be comfortable with 10h of sleep. Now these past 2 weeks I've been sleeping 4-6 hours, I feel like I now can endure sleeping for a low quantity of time much better but still feel like sleeping 4-6 hours isn't enough for me to be on my normal self. I have been using a digital scale to measure the taper: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00NGBQGOY/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 I cut a 300mg (active substance) seroquel tablet until it gives me around 123mg (approximately 30mg of active substance) I have two questions: - I cut the tablet until it gives me around 123mg, I'm not using capsules, I just swallow the small pieces with water. Is there a problem with this? Is it necessary to be using capsules? - Should I back my taper to 15% again?
  11. CherylH

    What is brain optimization? Is it the same as neurofeedback? I'm on seroquel and have gotten down to 75 mg from 200 but and stuck. I got on Seroquel for sleep to begin with and am having trouble with the sleep as I decrease the dosage. Were you saying you were going down to 2.5 from 5 mg. or reducing by 2.5 mg increments? (This question is related to this post: hopefulness-tapering-seroquel) Thanks Cheryl
  12. Hello, I did a relatively quick taper from Lexapro using 1 mg per week water titration from 10mg with my final dose mid-November. Acute withdrawals lasted a couple weeks then subsided. Around Christmas the weeping and depression set in with a vengeance. At the same time insomnia started. I could not sleep unless I took 50mg of Seroquel. i am still battling the insomnia but ironically last night I slept 7 hours without having to take meds. Today is my 5th day of reinstatement on 5mg of Lexapro. Seroquel as stopped a week ago and replaced with Ambien, which I have not taken for 2 days. The insomnia is taking it's toll on me. My T3 thyroid is starting to go low, I am having cold temperature intolerances, hair is falling out, strange "feelings" in my hands and legs from time to time, and inability to relax or make myself comfortable. It's like I am always in a restless state. Since I have reinstated the weird feeling in my hands and legs are subsiding and are more flair up in nature. I felt relaxed when I woke up this morning and when I layed down last night. I do have the typical startup anxiety/tiredness that is all too familiar. the head fog is very bad also. How long will I know whether or not this reinstatement is going to work? Also, how long should I stay at 5 mg before I go to 10 mg and plan to hold there? I did not want to reinstate but the insomnia will put me to an early grave if I do not get it under control. Dr. Shipko's blog also scared the crap out of me. If I would have read that back at the end of last year, I would have never goin off in the first place.
  13. Hello to all you brave souls out there who want psych off drugs. I have been in the mental health system for 10 years, and most of it was because of akathisia related problems that doctors will throw shade at as not happening. The only drug that has allowed me to live akathisia free that I have tried is Seroquel. I haven't been successful at tapering, and started going down by percentages only in the last few years. I have to go 3% because 10% is too fast. I have got nutritional tests (NutrEval and spectra cell) for the past two years that confirm what this article is saying: http://www.optimallivingdynamics.com/blog/7-important-nutrients-depleted-by-psychiatric-drugs-antidepressants-antipsychotics-stimulants-benzodiazepines-induced-guide-vitamins-medications I am going through all my old hospital records to look at what I have forgotten. In 2008 I was put on Celexa and they gave me Inderal for my "presumed" akathisia. I have forgotten most of 2008, but these records are making me mad. They are so arrogant deny the torture that is right in front of them. I respond very badly to these drugs. I will eventually have a list like most of you have that details your med history. If you are tapering off Seroquel or have been tortured by akathisia please message me. If you are going through akathisia right now, please, DON'T LET THEM DRIVE YOU CRAZY!!! It is really happening to you and it has to be stopped. I don't know what else to write right now. I hope you look into basic nutrition as a way to feel better.
  14. Hi, I am currently withdrawing from Seroquel. I have slowly gotten myself off a large cocktail of drugs, the most recent being lithium and diazepam (off lithium since early last year, and diazepam about November last year) I did not realise it would be a bad idea to go off the last 25mg of Seroquel all at once. I thought that would be a small difference. It I only recently that I have realised that I was experiencing withdrawals at all. I have been a bit ill as well and had an operation for stage four endometriosis last year. It is hard to tell what symptoms are from that and what is the withdrawals. Looking at it now, I tapered too fast. I do not think it is a good idea to go back on now. It has been two months, so I guess I have to push through it. I am looking to connect to people in my area, (CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA), to start a support group, or for someone to talk to. I feel very alone and scared. I think that perhaps if I can talk to others who are experiencing something similar it would help. Thank you for reading this! Tammy
  15. Hello all, just found this site and was looking for some advice on tapering off antipsychotic's. It all started about 11 months ago when I was prescribed saphris for depression by my pdoc to augment pristiq, (I know I should have known better). All was fine until about three months in when I started slowly developing anhedonia, just a complete lack of interest in life, it messed up my endocrine system, and destroyed my short term memory. Having successfully quit seroquel cold turkey in the past I thought saphris would be a breeze.... Boy was I wrong, only managed to make it there days in before the overwhelming anxiety (which I've never had before)and insomnia drove me back onto it. After three failed attempts to taper off(lowest dose is 5mg and couldn't cut sublingual wafers any lower), my pdoc suggested switching to 10mg zyprexa for two weeks then stopping that cold turkey, well that was a mess again, had anxiety from hell and insomnia. Again we tried switching over to seroquel which failed.So now I'm back on zyprexa (with a whole new set of side effects)with the plan of tapering off at a rate of -1.25mg every two weeks, currently I'm down to 7.5mg with moderate anxiety, intermittent insomnia and an insatiable appetite. Just wondering if this is too aggressive a taper, I only have tablets available so I'm just relying on cutting them into quarters. Just want off this pharmaceutical merry go round, feel as though I've been lobotomized.
  16. Hello; I am happy to have found this forum. I am am currently in withdrawal from Seroquel 25 mg. I was told by a psychiatrist that I should just be able to drop the dose since it was so small -- but I suspect that I am experiencing withdrawal regardless of the dose. I feel anxious, I'm experiencing chest pain and an increased heart rate, and my husband keeps asking me "what is wrong." I am not aware of behavioral changes but I guess he is. This forum looks like a wonderful place to find information about medications. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of it.
  17. Hi everyone, I'm new here. I figured I needed some support through this journey of exploration. I am currently on - Quetiapine/Seroquel 300 mg XR and 25 IR (used to be 300 XR + 100 IR half a year ago, I've been on it, just like the other meds, for more than three years) - Fluoxetine 40 mg - Dexamfetamine 3dd 10 mg I've been on psychotropic meds for 5 or 6 years now (I'm almost 21). I've been on different meds before this combination. The side-effect have taken it's toll on me (No matter how long I sleep, I wake up tired, tachycardia, tremors, constantly out of breath, I feel like an old lady) When I was prescribed my psych meds I was in a very bad place, I was suicidal. However, I feel like most of the reason I was in a bad place was bc I was living at home. Things weren't going well there, and I've had depressed symptoms and an eating disorder that went unnoticed since I was 13. I've had many diagnosis, it started with adjustment disorder, ADHD and asperger, adjustment disorder changed to depression NOS, then came the borderline and eating disorder diagnosis and now I finally have a diagnosis of PTSD and major depression and ADHD (which I agree with). I was originally given the antipsychotic for my "autism and hypersensitivity". anyway the new psychiatrist just coppied that medicine regime and now I figured I'm done with it. It helped me through **** times, but I've been living in a different place for 2 years now and that allowed me to make some process. The whole tapering of Seroquel isn't going easy though. The first 50 mg (in 25mg per 3 months) gave me pretty bad anxiety. I lowered 25 mg again 4 days ago, I've been able to get the anxiety under control with magnesium (3 times a day, 600 mg in total). Beside the mental discontinuation problems, the first 2 days it made my tachycardia go haywire and my tremors go nuts. It was quite funny, but not if that will happen with every 25 mg decrease. 3 and 4 day I was nauseous, vitamin C, camille tea and lemon juice made it slightly better. Anyway, I'm thinking about lowering and eventually quitting (if possible and healthy for me) my other medication. Also, I wonder if it's best to take 200XR, 50 XR and 25 IR or 200 XR 50 IR and 25IR for example. I'm not sure about what's better. Anyway, I'm gonna keep you guys posted. Ask questions if you feel like it, -E
  18. Heather Rose: Hello

    Hi. My friend referred me here. She is concerned about all my medications and bad side effects I have been having for a long time such as forgetfulness, trouble concentrating, shaking and dependency. I am on many medicines and have been taking various meds for almost 26 years to control my mood disorder. I have had times of shaking problems. I also have trouble staying focused and concentrating. I used to be a big reader but now it is hard for me to read a whole book. My attention just drifts. I am dependent on them for sleep especially. I wanted to see what this was all about so perhaps can come down off of them without serious consequences.
  19. Hi Guys, I had a difficult childhood but rather not common! I have wonderful and spiritual parents but I was born a worrier with intense fear of the world. Who knows, maybe genetics, etc… The fears made me feel different and I didn’t develop like the standard child in the 70’s. I avoided social gatherings, had no real friends but otherwise healthy as per my pediatrician. I was aware of my fears but thought that some threats are forever when they were not and threats that I had, everyone has, which was also not the case. I kind of managed to get through life while being chastised by my parents that I was lazy, had no self-confidence, low self-esteem, etc… It came to a point where I just couldn’t see eye to eye with my parents nor with the world around me! This caused lots of anxiety, more fears, and a disconnect. Doctors, herbalists, or anything under the sun in the 70’s, 80’s and even 90’s were tried but everything seemed to point to my mental distress although people didn’t give any credence to these kids; either you were a top performer or you were down in the dumps, I guess. To get to the chase, at age 18, I had a panic attack in the summer and then another in the winter at age 19, followed by anxiety symptoms, which at that time were physical and left me worried as a hypochondriac… At age 20, I was becoming convinced I’ll never marry, I’ll never make it in life, and nobody really needs me. My father hates me and my friends are moving along, leaving me behind. At a cousins wedding, I had a horrific anxiety attack, which left me pacing and twitching, not knowing what the morrow will bring. Of course, my parents at that time took me serious and tried to console me, without success. To make a long story short, I was introduced to my first Psychiatrist/Butcher. After 45 minutes, I had a prescription for Prozac and Zanax, being promised I will heal and that the drugs were not addictive. His psychotherapy was worse than no therapy and after a while, I was introduced to the new phenomenon of being drugged for life. Change of meds to Paxil made no difference. I was encouraged to get married (bad advice!) while taking all the drugs. Although I was not comfortable, somewhere down the line my parents convinced me to cut medication. Off with the Xanax (too fast, of course) and tapered the paxil to 10mg (too fast, of course!). I was doing well (so to speak) until I collapsed into a more horrible depression with suicidal ideation and urges. Well, I think you can guess the rest and I won’t bore you with 10-15 useless years. Changed and added new meds. Ranging from: Paxil, Klonopin, Lithium, Zyprexa, Lamictal, Ritalin, Trileptal, Effexor XR. I was separated and made the mistake to get back before I was ready, pushed by a psychiatrist with an agenda! Started with worse anxiety, I ended up seeing a psychiatrist that introduced washout in Cornell at Westchester, NY. What a slam of a deal! Stupid people tapered me off all the drugs in a 3 week range, leaving me with panic attacks that hit the roof. Sleeping was damaged, so was I. I complained, so they reinstated Klonopin, added: Depakote, Ambien for sleep, Lexapro, Seroquel low dose for sleep, and Wellbutrin XL. I was one big mess. This happened in 2013. I was separated, to be divorced, after that incident for good. Living in my parents’ house was hell and the doctors and parents started blaming me for being not motivated and a weakling. After a few months of torture, I started seeing a psychologist that works with the “system” suggesting a new, best in the world psychiatrist for meds and he’ll do the therapy… Now my regimen has changed to: Cymbalta, Wellbutrin XL, Klonopin continued, Viibryd, Seroquel increased, and Deplin. I wasn’t doing too great and my parents suggested holistic medicine. A cortisol test confirmed the highest level of cortisol 24hr a day. I was given supplements, a diet plan, and Seriphos. The Seriphos worked like a charm and after a couple of months, I was read to even think about withdrawing from drugs. I started with Wellbutrin and went down to 75mg Regular release (from 450mg), Cymbalta to 60mg (from 120mg). Still stuck on Seroquel 200mg, Klonopin 2.5mg, and Viibryd 20mg. This is where I crashed and had to stop the withdrawal, for now. I can’t seem to break below 60mg of Cymbalta and was told by people on this forum, outside of forum that I need to go slower. I guess this is where I’m now. A short and sweat hell. After the Hospital event, where I stayed for a month behind locked doors and fortress like walls, I seemed to not respond to the drugs the same way anymore and have constant mood swings and other withdrawal symptoms. I’m working in NY as a Database Reporter and trying to keep my job despite the difficulties… I have two wonderful kids and I’m hoping and praying to G-d that things will turn around and get better. Maybe this forum will allow me to learn other people’s experiences so I’ll heal smater! I am seeing a new holistic practitioner and taking lots of supplements. I also took the 23andme genetic test showing some defects. Did multiple testing and I guess it’s a hit or miss; sometimes I’ll feel better, other times not!
  20. So I've been on Seroqoil nightly for about 3-4 months. I started on 100mg and that only lasted one night. Went to 75mg and that lasted for a couple of weeks then 50mg. Last month I went down to 25mg. And about 4 wks ago I've been on 12-14mg (cutting the 50 in 1/2 then the half in 1/2.) I'm also taking Lunesta 3mg at no hr and about once a week ill need Klonopin.25 bc I have a hard time falling asleep. I've also started Celexa for anxiety during the day. So question and problem! How do I get off this Seroqoil?!? Like is aid I haven't even taking it long to begin with and I've taped to 12-14mg fine but it seems to mess with my sleep when I try and cut that in half. Don't believe I have the EXtended tablet. Help!!! If it messes with my sleep, is it only temp? I don't want to switch this to get hooked on Klonopin bc that's a nasty drug too!
  21. Hello everyone! I joined this forum because I'm in trouble. I really am. My life took a turn for the worse and I'm stuck into a real nightmare that keeps torturing me in the same fashion, every day. I started taking psychodrugs in order to deal with a strange insomnia that actually hit me out of the blue. The only apparent cause I was able to find was a recent antibiotic therapy with a drug (Levofloxacin) known to cause symptoms of anxiety and mental hyper arousal in predisposed people and mimicking benzo withdrawal. Such an unexpected side effect would have taken a toll on me if it hadn't been for sedative drugs, so that's why I started taking them. I am relying on them to lead a somewhat normal life. Or something that resembles one. Just pointing this out, I never had any mental issues before. I was prescribed a benzo to deal with insomnia and was on Klonopin for six months. I successfully withdrew from it with a slow taper, since it became ineffective in just a couple of weeks... I have been on 80 mg of Trazodone for about one year and 17.75 of Quetiapine for five months now. I'm on the combination of both now since Trazodone alone wasn't providing me more than 3 hours of sleep. And Quetiapine alone causes me a helpless depression... If I take them together at nighttime I actually can sleep for 7 solid hours. However, something is definitely wrong with these drugs. I'm scared of what they are doing to my brain and my body. I have chronic strange vibrating feelings all over my body, but mostly in my legs. They ache, all day long. My body feels hot and I'm very heat intolerant. My joint aches a lot, especially my ankles, and when I use them a lot my wrists. My feet tingle, burn, sometimes are numb and I have mild pin and needles sensations. Not to mention the strange vibrating feelings in my mouth, in the gums, like someone is trying to electrocute me! I get them with no apparent reason, and prevent me from relaxing spontaneously. Like I was always on an adrenaline rush. And, of course, taking the drugs is the only thing that stops them... I can't relax on my own, I always need a chemical help. It's virtually impossible to stop these vibrating feelings if I don't take the meds. I'm almost comatose in the morning, I just can't think straight and it takes me hours to be able to 'think' and reason again. I sleep well but I always have very vivid dreams when the drugs are wearing off. It's hard to tell if I'm awake or just dreaming, it feels like I'm thinking at an unnatural speed. I have no control over my thoughts, anyway. In addition, I always been very smart and with Quetiapine I just feel retarded. I can't think it straight. Then, all of a sudden, in the late afternoon, I feel like someone came to unchain my mind, and I start thinking so fast i can't focus on anything, I feel like thins are moving too quickly and my body aches even more. I've always been taking the drugs at the tiniest effective dose and I don't want to take more during the day. I start easily, I can feel a rush of electricity in my body at every sound and I just can't calm down. It's not even anxiety. I never got a panic attack. Sounds more like hyperactivity and restlessness! I've tried to withdraw from Trazodone but taking less than 50 mg caused me to burst into tears and feel absolutely hopeless. I'm on a paleo diet right now, high in berries, fresh fruit and organic lean meat, I take zinc, magnesium, potassium, as well as probiotics and colostrum since I have been diagnosed with a bad form of leaky gut and chronic body inflammation, but they proved to be unable to prevent these relapses and these odd pains. Is really such a tiny dose of Quetiapine causing this? It shouldn't even affect my dopamine receptors at that dose, should it? Are my issues caused by noradrenaline instead? I'm I'm only 25, I don't want to spend the rest of my life on drugs that are doing more harm than good.
  22. Hey guys. I found this site from a person on Quora...first time posting here...not sure if this is the right place since Adderall isn't an Antidepressant...but here I am. If there is another site I should go to I would appreciate if someone could link. I made a topic on there asking if I could really still be going through Adderall withdrawal even 2 years later. He told me he could see it... but the only thing that REALLY scares me is the fact that I wasn't on that high a dose (20 mgs along with Vyvanse 40mgs, even though I would abuse it some times). Plus I was only taking it every day for maybe a year and a half...maybe a little bit longer. I've been prescribed these meds since I was 6, but I never really took it consistently until I started working in June of 2014. My symptoms are so weird. I've posted on other drug forum sites and literally no one could relate to me...these are my symptoms: Depression (obviously that's a very common one), fatigue, tired a lot, sometimes have trouble sleeping, but the most crazy ones I have: I feel these CRAZY sensations in my head. It literally feels like there's a giant bubble on the right side or the back of my head. Not so much the left side, though... Bubble, pins and needles, liquid running through my head...that's the best way I can put it. A lot of people would say that maybe it's brain zaps, but these sensations occur constantly and not just out of nowhere. They never go away and sometimes I do feel 'zaps' but it literally feels like bubbles/pins and needles/liquid is running through my head. There were some very few occasions when the sensations got SO exacerbated that it felt like my head was exploding. To be more specific it literally felt like a hose was being run through my head and all this water was just running through it. I know that sounds crazy weird, but that is the best way I can put it. I seriously thought I was gonna die or that I was having a seizure or something. I should also add that during this moment I was going through a lot of weird and crazy emotions and I literally felt like I was going crazy, which makes me think that perhaps it's just brain chemistry... This particular instance only started occuring maybe 5 months ago and only occur maybe once a month or once every 2 months or so....last time I had an episode that crazy bad was mid December. All the doctors that I've seen say that it's just anxiety....to be honest I guess I don't blame them I've gotten both an MRI and a CT scan and they both came back normal to my surprise...so I guess it can't be anything too serious. So maybe it really is just extreme anxiety? Idk. If there is anyone that can relate to what I've gone through it would REALLY put my mind at ease.... I've read some of other peoples stories and I guess that even if you didn't take it as long as you're having withdrawal you can still be going through it. For example, not sure if anyone has heard of Brian Baxter? He's the guy who posted on YouTube about his horrific Benzo Withdrawal experience...apparently he only took Xanax for about 1 year but it took him 2 years to fully recover. Also read another story on another website of some person taking Paxil for only 9 months but taking maybe 2 years to fully recover...I don't know. Whatever you guys have to say, let me have it....
  23. Hi all, just been given a prescription of Gabapentin today to help me with pain/sleep as Diazepam/Temazepam/ higher doses of Seroquel doing nothing for the latter - have histamine intolerance though, thus came across this site and these posts [in undiagnosed1's introduction topic]. May I ask does Gabapentin decrease or increase histamine? It's unclear. Look forward to hearing from you. Kind regards. S
  24. Hi. I heard this forum will help with other meds besides anti-depressants. I got off of those years ago but probably did myself some damage in the process. I put in a signature so you can see how I got here and where I am. I was so tired from lack of sleep that I was just taking whatever the nurse or doctor said without thinking it through. Now I'm sleeping 5-6 hours and can think well enough to know that I'm in a bad place from these drugs and need to get off. My biggest problem now is sedation/depression. I cannot drive most days. I've lost my job and most of my friends. I used to be much more active but now can't even walk around the block. I also have a lot of anxiety but not sure if it's life circumstances or meds or both. I can't figure out where to start. I'm losing hope that I will ever get better. I do think I got much worse when I started the gabapentin. Actually, I'd say the anxiety got better but the sedation and depression and feeling hopeless got worse. I don't know where to start but I figure I'm not going to ask my doctor for a plan given what happened with the anti-depressant taper he gave me. I wanted to rip my brain out of my head, it was that bad. Don't ever want to experience that again. But can't stay like I am, either.
  25. I have started the process of tapering off several medications, so that I can see what my baseline feels like. I have been on medication in one form or another since I was 23, for various health reasons, primarily chronic migraine and major depressive disorder. The list of current medication is as follows, 3600 mg Gabapentin, 150 mg Wellburtin, 25 mg Sequorel, 120 mg Cymbalta. I started my journey of getting clean on July 1/17. Currently I am at the following medication levels, 1800 mg Gabapentin, 150 mg Wellburtin, 90 mg Cymbalta. I have transitioned off the dosage of Sequorel in the last two days. I will be staying on the 150 mg Wellburtin and 60 mg Cymbalta, until I stabilize. How do I feel? Quite terrible, headachy, body aches, extreme nauseau and anxious.
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