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Found 31 results

  1. Hi everyone, so I had been on Olanzapine for 3months, then tried to quit cold turkey couple times, which was a very bad idea, I developed severe insomnia, and couple other issues, then withdraw with tappering in 2months - too quickly, bad idea tried Trazodon for sleep, it did not help Ended up on Aripiprazole 7.5mg + mianserin 20mg for sleep. Still dealing with following issues: insomnia, but less than before headaches heart pain chronic fatigue I found Pregnenolone 50-400mg to significantly reduce headaces. As a source of my illness i suspect: heavy metal poisoning (my hair test was inconclusive) lyme dissease Borrelia burgdorferi (i had couple ticks) Currently im chelating from heavy metal poisoning using Andrew Cutler Protocol.
  2. Hello, my name is Manny. I was diagnosed 0CD and schizophrenic in 2008, but I been taking benzos and amiptriptiline since 2005. Currently,taking abilify 20mg,risperidone 2mg,cymbalta 60mg,biperiden 4mg. I am tapering klonopin down to 0,27mg from a dose of 1,25mg. I went to see my doctor this week because a blood test that I did. He said my hepatic transaminases are high because of the medication that I take. I am assuming the APs that I take. What can I do to get my liver function well? I know, quitting the APs, but I can t cold turkey. Any advice,please.
  3. Cigarettes at age 11. Alcohol periodically from age 13 to age 30. Valium episodically from age 18 to age 27. I have been on myriad anti-depressants since 1982 for major depression and generalized anxiety. Imipramine, desyrel, ativan. Off drugs from 1984 till 1995. Started Prozac 1995 till 2014 (did well from 1995 to 2011). Tried Wellbutrin, Cymbalta. Abilify and Trintellix from March 2014 till August 8, 2017 (depression free). Had to withdraw due to cervical dystonia and tremors which still persist. Terrible experience withdrawing from Abilify and Trintellix. Started Wellbutrin 150 mg. and Prozac 10 mg. for one week to help with withdrawal. Then increased Wellbutrin to 300 mg. and experienced ringing in ears; stopped the Wellbutrin and increased Prozac to 20 mg. (10 in A.M.; 10 in P.M.) Now on Prozac 20 mg. per day, occasional Propranolol for tremors (doesn't help). I've read that coming off Abilify can take up to 3 months or more, and it has been 2 months so far. I feel like I've spent (wasted) my entire adult life trying to feel better, first by self-medicating, then by psychiatric medicating. I'm 72 years old. I wonder if there is any hope for me.
  4. Hello, all! I've been reading the website for the better part of an hour, now, and it seems to be an invaluable resource, a scientifically-sound one, for this complicated and severely-unstudied process of stopping medication. I've been diagnosed bipolar type 2 some 8 years ago, having been under some type of treatment every day since. My diagnosis came after visiting 4 different psychiatrists (as I would not accept the diagnosis, every time a doctor would say it to me). What I am currently prescribed: - morning - 15mg Aripiprazole - morning & evening - 2.5mg Oxybutynin - morning & evening - 40mg Propranolol - evening - 400mg Quetiapine - evening - 1000mg Sodium Valproate I also have access to Clonazepam, 2mg pills, for an as-needed dosing, but I haven't taken that in a very long time, now. Since this Monday, after an absolutely horrific psychiatrist visit, I've halved all my medication... Each dose, I take at the same time, but would break up the pill in half. I've been feeling great (to be honest, I've actually been feeling, which is an accomplishment), but I want to continue this down to 0mg of each substance. I've read the topics on polysubstance stopping, but it is not clear to me what best course I should follow, given the above cocktail. Can I cold-turkey the Oxybutynin and Propranolol, and after focus on tapering off the mood stabiliser, with an end goal of doing the same with the antipsychotics? My initial train of thought was to halve each week, and I was prepared in a few weeks' time to take a vacation from work, just so I could lay in bed with withdrawal symptoms. This is based on me stopping the Quetiapine in the past (OK, some 4-5 years ago), under doctor supervision, because I had been selected for a medical trial... That process took around 2 weeks, and even if I was prescribed Ambien to sleep, it would only "knock me out" for 2-3hr, after which I'd play video games, as I couldn't sleep at all. It was a painful process, during which I spent about a week in bed, but if the process can be the same this time, I'm ready to withstand all that pain, just so I could be myself, again. Thank you all for any contributions, in advance!
  5. Hi everyone. Thanks for reading this! This is my first post but I've read a lot. I'm in the south. 28 year old male. around 3 years ago I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder and started seeing a therapist and psychiatrist at the same office. I have a great relationship with both and I really trust them 100% with my care. I currently take 300 Wellbutrin, lamictal, buspar, abilify and cogentin Wellbutrin has been awesome over the years and so has buspar and lamictal. I was not diagnosed bipolar but they are using it as a mood stabilizer and it works well However over the years I've had some pretty bad circumstances and been on and off abilify. It works I guess in the way it can stop my obsessing andrew my mind slow down etc. I had been on about 10mg a year ago or so and then I stopped when I started lamictal. I had a bad turn around October last year and the cycle started again. Right now I'm on 5mg split between morning and night. 2.5mg. Oh and add the cogentin for good measure I have started to be quite foggy and started having some short term memory issues I think. The only thing we have changed in the last while was adding the cogentin and abilify back. I'm so worried my memory will not come back. I also need to talk to my pdoc this week as I want to start tapering off it. Thanks for reading! My mood was up and down and we started
  6. I am currently weaning off from both Wellbutrin and Abilify according to my psychiatrist's instructions, and I'm experiencing fatigue and loss of interest in doing anything. When I drink some strong coffee, my ability to cope and work returns, though I don't want to be dependent on caffeine either. It's my fifth day currently of not taking any medicine at all. I was told by my doctor that to return to myself without medication, it'll take about 7 - 9 days total. I'm hoping that it's just the withdrawal of medicine that's making me feel fatigued and uninterested in things, because I don't want to be like this naturally. These medicines were used to treat depression, but my doctor now suspects that I have bipolar II disorder. In case things go really bad before our appointment next week, he gave me a backup prescription of Carbamazepine -- but I really don't want to take it after reading the side effects. I was hoping that through exercise, I can cure my depressive episodes, just like some people have cured depression through rigorous exercise. I admit I am not exercising every day, but I did manage to run half a mile twice last week. I think I'm getting there, hopefully, and I'll try really hard. Essentially, I'm on a journey now to be medication-free and learn how to cope better without it (and I think I am more emotionally mature now, and all that needs to change is my energy levels and mood).
  7. My question is: How much time (in an average estimation) do synaptic receptors (5-HT/dopamine) need to recover from atypical antipsychotics, such as risperidone or aripiprazole, at the standard dosage after a short amount of time taking them (let's say, 2-3 months)? If anyone has information about this subject, please do share. Thanks.
  8. Jennifer78

    Hello...I'm new to this website and I'm still not sure how this works. I'm looking for some hope I guess that's what you'd call it. I have been on meds for 15 years. Only an SSRI until probably 3 years ago. I was on Celexa 40mg, Abilify 10mg and Wellbutrin XL. I was so over medicated I felt numb and I couldn't function. I didn't know what was wrong with me & then I thought maybe it's to much medicine. I lost my health insurance on 12-01-16 so I couldn't afford all these meds so I stopped taking the Celexa & Abilify on that day. I'm still on Wellbutrin. The reason I stayed on it was I heard it would cause seizures if I cold turkey off it. I did not know I shouldn't of done that with the other 2. It will be 5 months on May 1st that I stopped other 2 meds. The only reason I went on medicine was because I lost my grandmother and I was stressed. My friend suggested I see a Dr so I did. Stupid mistake! I didn't even know Abilify was an antipsychotic until I googled it looking for answers about what was going on with me after stopping meds. I came across discontinue syndrome and then this website. Most psychical symptoms are gone and insomnia has gotten a tiny bit better but the anxiety and I guess it's depression is awful!! I don't have insurance so I can't afford to go back on the meds & go back to not functioning. I'm just wondering if I'm going to make it through this? I'm really worried. God Bless!
  9. Hello. I am twenty years old and had been on antidepressants since I was ten. From then on through my teenage years, all I knew was I needed to take my medicine . Once I was diagnosed with high-functioning autism, my pediatrician referred me to a neurologist. The neurologist then put me on respiradone and strattera. I don't remember if I had any behavior problems or not, but my neurologist told me I would have to be on medicine for the rest of my life. I stayed on those two meds until I got into high school. My first two years of high school, I couldn't stop crying. I cried day and night. My neurologist put me on celexa. When that didn't work, my neurologist told me he could no longer help me and referred me to a psychiatrist. I saw the new psychiatrist my junior year of high school who told me I had depression and anxiety that needed to be treated. I was taken off respiradone and strattera and put on pristiq and adderall. When pristiq wouldn't work, I was switched back to celexa. So it went on, switching back and forth between antidepressants. There were so many different ones I can't remember many of them. Every time I asked my psychiatrist if the next time it would work, he assured me it would. There was no chance to talk when I saw my psychiatrist. It would result in a new prescription every time. During my senior year, I helplessly slept through every class, sometimes falling out on the floor asleep. I had a good school counselor who allowed me to pass because she knew it was the medicine and I got plenty of sleep. I also cried uncontrollably almost every day in front of everyone and it was very humiliating as I would stir up a lot of attention. My senior pictures of me showed a person with a puffed up and swollen face. I was switched to lexapro again and stayed on it my whole first year of college. Then the crying returned. During my second year, I was switched to Abilify for depression. I still trusted my psychiatrist as he again promised me it would work. Out of all my experiences with antidepressants, there is nothing that could ever have compared to this. As soon as I took the first dose of Abilify, my brain signaled to me something was very, very wrong. I began receiving no sleep. My psychiatrist put me on trazadone for that, but when I took it, my body fell completely limp, my heartbeat slowed down to almost nothing, and I went numb while my body shut itself down. I stopped it after two nights. Meanwhile, with abilify, I began spending all my time obsessing over things I would normally never touch. I believed I was an alien hybrid sent from outer space to save the planet. I also believed the human race are all aliens in disguise. Then I started going mad. I didn't want to be a human anymore. I wanted to be a supernatural creature with otherworldly capabilities. This was all extremely terrifying to me, but I couldn't stop myself. I lost my common sense as I believed these nonsensical theories. My mind was overpowering me with racing thoughts such as these listed. I couldn't think clearly. I was almost always in a state of rage. Reasoning had left me. For reasons I do not remember, I stopped Abilify by myself cold turkey. My psychiatrist had told me before that I never needed to worry about tapering because the antidepressants I took were all in the same family. He never mentioned stopping completely. Withdrawal symptoms didn't show up until a week later. My psychiatrist told me they would last 15 days. They were relatively minor, and I didn't worry much about them. However, nothing could have ever prepared me for the horror I underwent next. Every horror I could have never imagined bestowed me over the course of a month. I received no sleep. I was very lucky if I got one hour. The nights soon got from bad to worse. I developed REM sleep disorder. I was unable to tell the difference between being awake and asleep. As my mind was drifting, I jumped up in the air, screamed, swung at the air, and thrashed violently all over. In addition, my head would suddenly snap up and I would shout melancholy indistinguishable language and suck in sharp breaths. I was aware of everything, but I had no control over it, and it was very disturbing to me. Then came the uncontrollable muscle movements. My lips drew up on the sides, my mouth gaped open, my lips puckered and pouted, my teeth bared, my tongue stuck out, my neck extended, my eyes bulged, my eyebrows rose and lowered, my hands flapped, my arms swung, my knees jerked, my head jerked side to side, and my fingers extended. Shouts, grunts, moans, and gasps escaped my mouth. Several weeks went by as more horrendous symptoms appeared. Every day I was a zombie. I could only do basic human activities. I had no awareness of the passage of time. At night while drifting off, a dark shadowy presence swept over me. I was aware of where I was in real time while drifting, but I sensed a sudden danger. I jumped up alert every time. I heard a voice I believed to be God's telling me why I was like this and what I needed to do. It spoke to me relentlessly for days. When this occurred, an otherworldly and overwhelming sense of peace filled my every being. But it was always soon replaced by a terror so surreal I could not function. During this time, I could "see" my brain and I believed I was in control of what I allowed to be let in. After four days of this, I ordered the voice to "Get out!" It did and did not come back. Right after this, a veil suddenly covered my mind and I was disengaged from reality. I had no sense of where I was and I had no connection with my parents. I was always mad, crying most of the time, and my head was always jerking. I saw my psychiatrist for the last time two months ago. The doctor who had been nice to me all this time suddenly turned mean. He told me he refused to see me unless I got on medicine. By this time, I had found this site and many other websites about withdrawal. I knew I wanted to try living a better life and I was not backing down. I never took the newly prescribed anti psychotic he prescribed me. A week later, my parents, exasperated with how I was doing and on their last straw, called my psychiatrist. My dad told the psychiatrist I had read on the internet how long the withdrawal really is and the doctor spoke with me on the phone. My psychiatrist told me that the withdrawal symptoms I was describing were "all in my head" because the medicine would already be out of my system now six weeks later. He told me I needed to get on medicine right now because "I needed help". He told me my quality of life was not as good without the medicine. I was in another rage episode by this time, and unlike me, I confronted him. I said "Well why are a lot of these the same symptoms I experienced during the so-called withdrawal time?" He said he didn't know and preceded to ask me was I on drugs. I was in disbelief that anyone would ask such a thing. I have not spoken to that psychiatrist since. I am dealing currently with a lot of physical and mental symptoms but none I would describe as severe as that horrible nightmare of a month. (That month just happened to be timed perfectly with my Christmas break.) My mouth, head, and fingers jerk, but never as exaggerated as they were the first month. I dealt with extremely numb fingers, feet, and ankles up until two weeks ago. My ankles at times felt like they were hanging by a single nail. My feet, bluish-green, were so numb and swollen I had no feeling and shooting pains shot up my legs. I was extremely dizzy for so long. My gp told me I have low blood pressure. I started having panic attacks. Anxiety crept over me for no apparent reason. I cried a lot. I felt hopeless. I am dealing with apathy, anhedonia, akathisia, and cognitive problems. My memory has not been well during this whole time. I am not aware; I'm just wherever I am. I have lost perception of sight, hearing, and touch. I do things I'm supposed to do because I know that's what I've always done. I cannot connect feelings to memories; I have to rely on pictures and journals from over the years. I had to look back in my journal to refresh my memory of this whole experience which I happened to write down. I have been disconnected with myself...it was worse in the beginning. I would look at pictures of myself and couldn't connect that it was me. The whole first month of withdrawal my face was so puffed up I thought my skin would fall off. Sometimes things look bigger or smaller than they appear. My thinking ability is limited. I went to my gp again three weeks ago and I was low on vitamin D. I am currently on iron medicine, vitamin d supplements, allergy medicine, and multivitamins. Although the numbness has gone away, I am extremely faint and have weak tremors every day. At night I'm miserably exhausted. My heart is always beating fast and hard. I get chills and my body tenses up. I'm not sure if I should be concerned about any of this. I cold-turkeyed Abilify four months ago. I have managed to keep my grades up in college since then and so far have maintained a perfect attendance. Some days are harder than others, but I try to count my blessings as I've heard stories far worse than my own. I am only beginning to understand what I am dealing with. The last thing I would want is to ever take another antidepressant and hinder this process. I feel like I have a real sense of myself now and I feel more in control. I have no idea how long this will last or if it will ever go away but I try to maintain a positive attitude about it as things slowly get better. I have faced the fact that I can't change my past but I can certainly shape my future. I apologize for the long story. It is difficult to get my thoughts together.
  10. I took Wellbutrin XL for eleven years. The first couple of years at 150 mg, then up to 300 mg. About 5 years ago, 1/2 of a 2 mg Abilify every 3 days was added to the mix. I actually felt fine on the meds for the most part. I briefly went off of the Wellbutrin about 6 or 7 years ago, and then went right back on because I felt like crap. I'm actually only off the drugs now because my insurance changed, and I couldn't afford the drugs out of pocket. So when I ran out, I (FOOLISHLY) quit taking them. Cold turkey. I actually still have some of the Abilify, but I didn't want to take it without the Wellbutrin. It's been about 5 long weeks, but I no longer feel like I'm living underwater. However, I still have days or stretches of the day where I have brain fog, low motivation, and anhedonia. I know I should have tapered, but I didn't. The first two weeks, I ate like a pig--totally uncontrollable, especially at night--and felt like I was in molasses. I gained weight, which has become a problem. I've never had a weight problem my entire life, and then the last 3 years, I've gained 30 lbs. Then, I started taking L-Dopa and Tyrosine, which I think helped. But now, I'm looking to rebalance my brain without more brain altering substances that leave me dependent. For the past week (on tyrosine only, decided to take a break from the L-dopa), I've been unexpectedly tearful at certain moments, which I hadn't experienced since the year after my mother died (6 years ago). These have been prompted by real emotional situations (one friend's father died and we were commiserating about losing parents; another friend's dog died and one of my dogs died a year ago December). I'm realizing that I've been partially blunted by medication for so long, I'm not sure who I am emotionally or how who I am right now will shift as my brain continues to reboot. Right now, I'm trying to focus on eating a really healthy diet and weaning off of sugar and flour. I'm still drinking alcohol, which is my next thing to try to eliminate as I try to get my brain to function "normally" and to lose weight. I fear I may have monkeyed terribly with how my brain functioned and that I may not be able to get back to the way I was 10-12 years ago, which was going through some depression, but otherwise functioning well with eating, weight, motivation, exercise, etc.
  11. I had the psychosis diagnosis in 2011. Takeing Abilify. Want to stop takeing. The next visit to doctors is at 1 mai. And i want to take action now so i dropped my dosage to 15 mg. Plan to stay on it 50 days and the drop again by half. I am a little afraid because i havent told anybody. Im afraid of criticisim and confrontation. I plan to tell my brother when we meet, he is my rock but others to tell it is complicated. I started 4 months ago also family Psychotherapy and it has helped me alot.
  12. Hello to all; I'm John from Spain, I'm currently on withdrawal stage since 3 weeks, I was taking Abilify 15 mg at first; two weeks after I started taking it, it was lowered to 10 mg; finally, after 2 months my pdoc stopped it cold-turkey. I've passed through akathisia and racing heart, but at this moment I think this medication "burned my nervous system" in the sense that these last weeks I find it very hard to do daily activities, I feel very depressed, with lack of the initiative I know I had before taking these meds and a feeling of poor concentration. I entered here in a try to find (at least approximately) how much long the withdrawal symptoms could take and to read about similar experiences (not only in time -just few months, not years- but also on dosage -not 2 or 5 mg like many people took but what it seems the standard dose, 10-15 mg-).
  13. I am new to this site and would like to introduce myself and get some support. I have been on antidepressants for 21 years and have struggled with them and trying to go off of them. I have always followed doctors advice and it has hurt me. Currently I tapered down to 10 mg of celexa very fast over the last year after many updoses to 80mg at one time. I have been at 10mg for 9 weeks and having horrible adrenaline all day and night. This began a few years ago and is getting worse. I was also directed to stop temazepam 15mg 9 days ago after 2 months of use. I didn't know it was so addictive otherwise I would not have taken it. I have had sporatic benzo use over the years but nothing more than small doses used infrequently about 4 times in 20 years. I do not know what to do now. I have been experiencing withdrawal symptoms for so long, should I hold at 10mg and wait for stabilization or up dose the celexa. I am struggling quite a bit and can't write as much as I would like. Any support would be appreciated.
  14. Good morning. I will start by saying that I am a healthy, sober, active woman in a happy supportive marriage and mom to 2 (mostly) wonderfuI teenage boys. Here's my story. I started taking Zoloft 17 years ago to help with postpartum depression and seasonal affect disorder that seemed to be worsening with age. I learned that I could get by with 100 mg in the summer and increase to 150 mg in the winter. A couple of years ago-during the summer- I noticed an increase in my depression. I was lacking joy, lacking motivation and energy, having difficulty focusing on tasks and was often weepy. I was intrigued by the commercials I saw for Abilify which promised to give me the boost I needed to get through the day. I tried talk therapy for a couple of months, but finding no relief, I asked to be prescribed Abilify. I experienced an immediate improvement in my mood and motivation. About a year in, I was discouraged by the inability to make it through the day without napping. Sometimes, I napped all afternoon. My Dr. prescribed Adderall to boost my mood and energy. The cocktail of Zoloft, Abilify and Adderall did seem to help for a while. The symptoms of lacking joy and motivation returned and I eventually concluded that the effect of the Zoloft had petered out. I came to believe over the years that I suffered from a chemical imbalance that would always need medication-it was the only logical explanation for depression considering my otherwise fulfilling life. So rather than increasing the Zoloft, I spoke with my Dr. about switching to a different antidepressant. I had come to believe that the Abilify really wasn't helping my symptoms and was perhaps contributing to the lack of motivation, so in an effort to wean from current medications in order to switch to a new one, Abilify was the first to go. I was running low on the prescription, so rather than refilling, I decided that I could taper with the remaining tablets since I was "only" on 5 mg. I don't know exactly how long that taper was-2 weeks or so. At first, there was no problem. Then about 3 weeks in, all hell broke loose with diarrhea, lack of appetite, crying jags and anxiety. Over the course of 3 weeks the only persistent symptom was debilitating anxiety. I tried eating better, exercising more, yoga, meditation, breathing, vitamin supplements to no avail. Although I suspected the anxiety was related to the Abilify discontinuation, my Dr. made no reference to this and seemed as mystified as me. After 2 months of trying holistic approaches, I conceded to trying new drugs. First she prescribed Gabapentin, 300 mg. With no improvement after 2 weeks, I discontinued. She then prescribed 75 mg of Welbutrin which I also discontinued after 2 weeks. She switched me to 30 mg of Adderall which seems to help boost my mood and energy without ironically, increasing my anxiety. Tired and depressed from the constant anxiety I was prescribed .5 mg of xanax 2 times per day. This does alleviate most of the anxiety. Curious about the root problem and concerned with taking Xanax, I started doing some research and eventually was directed to this site which affirms to me that I am suffering from prolonged discontinuation syndrome (4 months) resulting from my rapid discontinuation of Abilify. I am now more concerned than ever about using even a small amount of Xanax to calm my overactive nervous system, don't know if the Xanax may be prolonging the healing from the original Abilify discontinuation, wondering if reintroducing Abilify at a low dose and doing a 10% taper will work at this point and wondering how long this will last if I just suck it up and suffer the anxiety until it goes away. My ultimate goal was to stop taking everything so I could switch to a different antidepressant to deal with my "faulty chemistry". Now I don't know what to do and it is clear that my Dr. has no idea either.
  15. Hi, I'm glad to be here, I have been here before, had to do withdrawal way too many times before. I could really use your encouragement and support, I feel so alone, not too many people understand this nightmare. I'm now tapering Abilify, I was on 5mg now Im on 2mg, for almost one year now. Im also on 50mg Amitriptyline and 20 mg buspar. I went on these meds because of a con man pharmacist, that told me I could take high doses of progesterone to help ease withdrawal from a muscle relaxer I was tapering off of. My story is long and complicated, in a nutshell, progesterone in high doses can act as a benzo, with my 20 year history with benzos, that wasn't good. I was on 800mg of progesterone cream. Then I was cold turkeyed off of it,estrogen and the muscle relaxer (zanaflex). I was a complete mess!!! I wound up in the hospital, where they put me on amytriptaline, then later the buspar and abilify. Anyway, Im now tapering the abilify, I feel very anxious,nauseous, morning adrenaline surge and depressed, its horrible! I may have tapered too fast. I have read your posts on tapering to go at a rate of 10% per month. I know all to well about this, with my benzo history and all. I cut the 5mg pill, in half, and was at 2 1/2mg for a couple of months, now Im down to 2mg, been here for about 15 days. Its weird, I had a couple of good windows while on the 2 1/2mg dose, but it was up and down though. Now at this 2mg dose, I'm REALLY struggling. What do you think??? Any advice would be welcome. I know cutting is not the best way to do this. I now have a gemini scale, and plan on taking it down much slower. I would titrate with water, but I don't think abilify is water soluble. I sleep really good, the amytriptaline help with that. I will eventually taper that and the buspar. I don't think buspar has done much for me. Thanks for reading, look forward to hearing from you.
  16. Recently my psychiatrist upped Abilify to the max dose 30mg. I am also taking Celexa 40 mg. Have been taking psychiatric drugs for 10 years now. Have tried to withdrawal by myself in the past and schizoaffective symptoms come back worse. Now I am scared of taking the drugs because my tongue keeps moving back and forth in my mouth, and I am afraid of making it worse. Can I just stop the medications and when I start experiencing withdrawal symptoms, just take a smallest dose possible to alleviate the withdrawal symptoms, as I wean off them? I have a family history with lots of schizophrenia, and it seemed to help with somewhat, and people said I seem better on them. But now want to try to go off and try alternative therapies/natural diets.
  17. My journey started 23 years ago when I had postpartum depression and my doctor told me I was bipolar. In and out of hospitals for the next 23 years and a barrage of medications. At one point I was on seven antidepressant two mood stabilizers and two anti-anxiety pills. I was still trying to kill myself or find a way to do it everyday. I was locked in my own mind of a living hell. About four years ago I decided to wean down from the medications to just Abilify and Effexor. The Effexor stay because everytime I try to wean off of it I never could because of the side effects. August of 2015 I was faced for the first time with not having insurance. I was unable to afford my effexor. I was forced into a withdrawal. For the next 4 months as most of you know I was in a living hell of vertigo throwing up aches and pains like I've never had before. As the vertigo and other symptoms subsided my pain became more and more excruciating to the point of intolerable. Now after a year-and-a-half at times I am unable to lift my arms. I have constant pain in all of my joints and muscles. Not just flu like pain but excruciating debilitating pain for I cannot function. I cry all the time because it is so intense. I have been to Mayo Clinic and all my test came back inconclusive. I'm actually extremely healthy. I've always let a healthy lifestyle and used to be a bodybuilder. Now I have pain everywhere everyday. So I asked the doctor if this could be a result of being on Effexor. He said absolutely. As I left that answer resonate I knew I had a friend who was a psychiatric nurse. I asked her the same question. Could I be experiencing this horrendous pain because of taking Effexor for so long. Her answer was the same. Yes. So for the last year of being off Effexor I have never been happier. I smile everyday. I had 23 years of my life taken away from me because of a misdiagnosis bipolar 1 and actuality it was just hormones. Now I'm free from trying to kill myself every day. Trying to survive everyday. Weaning off of the Effexor. And now I am faced with living the rest of my life with no quality of life period excruciating pain where I have to go to the emergency room constantly to get relief. Dilaudid Percocet Oxycontin nothing works for the pain. And I know it was due to the Effexor. I don't know what to do now. I don't know how to go on. But I will tell you I have never had one day and the last year of depression or suicidal ideation like I did when I was on Effexor. I'm so happy finally.
  18. It has been 8.5 weeks since I ct'd off 30 mgs of generic lexapro and 2mg of Abilify. I was depressed because my father who lived with us had died and marriage was getting rocky from the stress. I had been taking the generic lexapro for 2 years. This doctor added Abilify in Jan '16. I trusted her. I was depressed over life issues. I have no previous mental health diagnosis other than some anxiety which I had taken Xanax over the past 5 years. Most .5 three times per day. varied in usage - often less. I quickly became dysfunctional and family doctor prescribed .5 Ativan twice per day or I would have died. I have only become a bit more functional. but barely. I don't know what to do. I am very scared.
  19. Hey everyone! My name is Cat and I've been taking antidepressants since I was 13. I'm now 19 and I've been on more medications than I can remember, as I say in my signature. I'm currently coming off of abilify , but taking viibryd and lamictal to keep my depression /anxiety combo at bay. I'm also taking ritalin for ADHD. I really hated the side effects of the abilify - at a higher dose (15 mg) it was making me extremely fatigued, and it's made me hungry all the time at pretty much all doses, leading to significant weight gain (Over the course of taking, if I'm remembering correctly, I've gone from 150ish to about 190). I kind of quit it cold turkey do to some pharamacy mix ups and for the first few days I didn't feel any adverse effects so I asked my psychiatrist how she'd feel about me coming off of it. Her response was that she agreed that I could continue off my dose of 7.5 mg and then we'd see how I felt when it was totally out of my system. Now, however, I'm feeling like my brain is fried and foggy. Concentrating and motivating myself are becoming hard, I'm worried that I came off the drug too quickly and, as I'm in college, I'm really worried about the effects this might have on my ability to learn, do homework, and get good grades. I don't really know how to approach this site, so I guess I'll just go exploring and see what I can find! On another note, I definitely want to look at my medication history now. It's probably huge and I think it'd be interesting to share it with you all.
  20. I am new to the site and actually have never used an online site for anything before so I hope I can figure it out:). I am down to 50mg lamictal from 200 and it's tough. Then I'm going to see if my psychiatrist will prescribe liquid abilify to get off that, I'm only on 2mg.
  21. Hey! My info: (I'm new here - little apprehensive to share but here goes) History is albify for 2 years with 1-2 month break early this year and recently Sertraline for the past 6 months I have tapered off my Albify @ 15mg as follows -> From 15mg for 8 months down to 7.5mg for 7 day 5mg for 7 days PLUS From 100mg for 6 months down to Cold turkey. This is a very emotional subject for me because I really never wanted to be on the medication but felt constricted to being on them. However now I've taken my destiny into my own hands and decided to taper down. Please note that I gave myself the opportunity to live medication free for a little while early this year but could not believe the severity of social anxiety that I had while my body adjusted to life without albify! NOW I want to give it another go and a chance for my body to completely adjust to life again normally but I'm starting to get weird withdrawal symptoms such as: SneeZing Restlessness in bed in middle of night Light headed Ultra sensitivity to noises Weird body pulsing due to the noise Heart almost feels like it skips a beat Slight social anxiety I am a strong and clever girl, please give me honest feedback to the question I posed in the subject of this thread. Note. I have support from therapist and family to try this again and would really like SA's help into deciphering which it is please. If it does sound reminiscent of withdrawal to anyone do you have any advice please (I'm trying to be as good to myself as can be at the moment) as i don't want to work myself up! I am happy to answer anyone's questions. Thank you.
  22. Hi everyone. I'm new to this forum. So I was on Abilify back in May for 3 weeks and then I went off of it. Everything went down hill so I went back on it for 3 more weeks then went off of it. It's been a month since my last dose. I wake up every morning crying for no reason. And feeling depressed for no reason. Is there anything I can do to help the healing process? I'm feeling really hopeless. PS I was on 2mg
  23. My doctor said I was Bi-polar and started me on different drugs. Began Abilify, 10 mg in 2004 after the traumatic brain injury. I reduced approx. three mths ago from 5mg to 2.5 mg for 10 days then half again for 21 days then stopped. For the last few months I have had headaches. I have been told I was more fun to be around while on Abilify. Now my doctor wants me to cut the 50 mg of Zoloft to 25 mg. to give me some anxiety relief. She said that she wants me to start Abilify (generic) if reducing the Zoloft does not help. I'm afraid to do this because of possible sensitivity from already tapering Abilify (brand) too rapidly. I suffered from depression from approx 1984- 2006. PTSD sexual incident in 2001. I attempted suicide. I was in shock. I had an auto accident in April of 2004, as a pedestrian, and have a traumatic brain injury. Dr. diagnosed me with bi-polar after this incident. My symptoms are headaches, irritibility, anxiety, difficulty with concentration, poor memory. Should I begin taking 25 mg of Zoloft and possibly Abilify (generic)? I do not want to be on medication. I appreciate any help that you can give me so very much. Here is my history: Generic Zoloft tab 25 mg approx 8-15-15, began Zoloft brand, 50 mg on 7-22-16. My symptoms have worsened since increasing the dosage. Synthroid tablet100mcg,began 1-2010. L-Theanine double strength200mg veg Capsules by Now, Magnesium high potency 400 mg softgel by Nature Made, D3 maximum strength2000 IU by Kirkland Signature, Ultimate Thermofit by It Works(thermogenic weight loss), Biotin fast dissolve 5000mcg extra strength tablets by Natrol, Fish oil 1400mg vegetarian softgel 900mg Omega-3 enteric triple strength, and AbsorbMax by BioTrust veggie caps advanced digestive enzyme complex.
  24. I have been depressed most of my life and most of my childhood is completely blank. I can't remember it at all. Often times, I have wondered if depression ran in my family and I have a suspicion that it does. My sister suffers from it, I can just tell my mom does (though she would not admit to it), and I know my dad did (before he passed away in 07). I am a Christian and have been most of my life. But a large number of people within the Christian community, and my family, feel like Antidepressants and any type of mental illness means you aren't praying hard enough, your life isn't right with God, you need to work harder, you are doing something wrong, etc. However these same people would have no problems with taking medicine for heart problems, antibiotics if you have an infection, etc. It is idiotic to believe that people can have this mindset but it is very real. After my dad passed away suddenly in 2007, my depression got much worse. I finally reached out to a General Doctor to talk about sleeping issues and depression. He refused to give me any medication and just told me I needed to get through it. Not really a good thing to say to someone as depressed as I was. I sought out help from another General Doctor and the Nurse Practitioner, in the office, put me on a variety of different pills to try and help me. I don't recall all of the medications except the last one: Paxil. Whatever dose of it I was on, it made me ANGRY. I had extreme road rage and any little thing could set me off. I recall being so mad one day that I tried to punch through our front door. I am surprised I didn't break my hand. Looking back, because the nurse Practitioner would keep me on the medication for a short period and then take me off, cold turkey, if it wasn't working, I could have been going through some sort of withdrawal symptom when I began Paxil. After this experience I gave up on trying to resolve this issue until I had an experience with God after reading a book called The Shack. I don't know if you, reading this, are a Christian or not. So you may discount what I just said. My religion is an integral part of my life and impacts me in all I say and do. After having this "mountaintop experience," I knew I couldn't continue living with depression. I sought out a Christian Counselor and we spoke for many weeks before he suggested I see a psychiatrist. I found a local psychiatrist as there doesn't seem to be any Christian psychiatrists around. This may be due to the mindset Christians have on this issue that I spoke about above. When I saw the psychiatrist, I remember specifically telling him that I was willing to try medication again, after describing the problems from the past, but I did not want to be on anything that would change my mind or cause me to lose any type of spiritual connection I had with God. I now know that to him, and most psychiatrists that practice, they don't feel any of these medications do anything to your brain. You have minor "discontinuation syndrome" for a few weeks max after ceasing the medication. For a few years, we tried a combination of different medications that included: Wellbutrin, Pristiq, and Cymbalta. I don't recall the specific dosages of each but they either quit working or had so many side effects, that I couldn't live with it. Finally, we landed on Lexapro. We started with 10 MG and moved that up to 20 MG. After a few years on Lexapro, I noticed that the medication was not making me feel good anymore. My psychiatrist suggested that in some cases adding the drug Abilify would help things work better. We added in a 5 MG dose of Abilify to go along with the 20 MG of Lexapro and I was on both of those for several years--until January of 2016. After appearing to "be cured" by my psychiatrist, he suggested that I stop taking Abilify immediately because he says there are long-term health issues if you are on the drug for extended periods of time. Because Lexapro alone made me have this feeling I would describe as "dead head," where my mind just feels empty and everything feels off, I told him I didn't want to take Lexapro alone. He suggested I shouldn't need it anymore and had me cut the dosage in half for two weeks and then quit the medication completely. To summarize: I stopped years of Abilify 5 MG use on January 13 cold turkey I cut my Lexapro 20 MG in half to 10 MG on January 13 I stopped Lexapro 10 MG on January 27 I never had any sexual side effects or anything noticeable while on Lexapro and Abilify. After I stopped both, I slowly noticed changes. within a week or two, things got bad--really bad. (I am going to list out the symptoms on separate lines.) I had the worst headaches of my life that would just last for days with no relief from anything. Complete loss of appetite. I would get hungry for maybe one meal a day. If I ate anything, I normally had to force myself to eat something. My libido vanished completely. I wasn't attracted to anyone or anything. Even my wife of 15 years, who I am very attracted to, suddenly was not attractive to me. In addition, sex, is just a lifeless act that has no physical/emotional connection at all. I also showed many others signs of PSSD which I know is not the focus of this forum. I can go into those in detail if anyone is curious or think they can help. I have lost all sense of spirituality. It is like my soul has been sucked out of my body. I can't read my Bible, pray to God, or even worship at Church. I go and sit and it means nothing to me. I was extremely angry almost all the time. Almost any little thing could set me off. I am not an angry person and it takes a lot to make me mad. I have never experienced anger like this. I started experiencing insomnia. I could not sleep at all no matter what I took over the counter (more on this later). My personality seems completely different. I have no compassion for people. I don't care what their opinions are. I seem to want to cause arguments, fights, etc. I have a hard time concentrating and remembering things. I made an appointment to see my psychiatrist to follow-up about all of this. While I was waiting for the appointment I started doing research on SSRI Withdrawal and learned that psychiatrists don't believe in withdrawals from SSRI drugs and believe once they are out of your system, your withdrawal goes away. I also learned that I should have weaned off both Lexapro and Abilify over a longer period of time. Anyway, when I saw my psychiatrist, he told me that he has been practicing for 40 years and there is no proof that SSRI Drug Withdrawal exists for any period longer than two weeks. Anything I found online in forums or wherever was not scientifically proven and has no basis in reality. He refused to look at any links I had or entertain the possibility that I was experiencing a real withdrawal to SSRI Drugs. I saw him in March of 2016--over a month since I stopped all drugs. He also offered to put me back on Lexapro and Abilify to prove it wasn't causing these problems. I told him I would throw the bottle at him if he prescribed them to me. I said these drugs are dangerous and should not be taken by anyone unless they are fully aware of what they can do to your body. Finally, I did ask the psychiatrist to answer a question for me. "Do I seem like the same person you saw a few months ago?" He said no. The transformation of personality was that different even a skeptic to see it. The only thing he offered me was a drug called Lorazepam 1 MG to help me sleep. Due to laws, I have to see him about every 3 months in order to get refills. Since taking 1MG of Lorazepam, I can finally sleep again. With no hope from the medical industry, and knowing I am not crazy, I sought out natural help. From a Chiropractor I have seen for the last 5 years, who also does acupuncture, I asked him for any help he could offer. He researched some acupuncture points, which we have just started doing later, on April 3, and also suggested I get in touch with a Naturopath. On April 1, 2016, I first saw a Naturopath. The Naturopath started me off by doing a full panel of bloodwork and they looked at any areas of concern. It showed a few problems but nothing that would cause the current state of emotions found above. She put me on a Gluten, Soy, and Dairy free Paleo Diet. She had me take some supplements, which were really expensive, and start a 8 week full body detox. I am currently waiting on a follow-up with her and in the midst of the diet changes and taking these supplements. I also am going to see a massage therapist, from the same office, who is going to do a Raindrop Technique (I believe that is done with essential oils) and a lymph node massage. In addition, I have seen another lady, in the same office, who does Emotional Freedom Release. This is something like voodoo to me. She taps into my "energy field" to figure out what emotions are plaguing me and tries to get my body to release them. In the first visit, she told me several things about me she would have no idea of knowing about by tapping into my "energy field." Supposedly I need to recite a phrase: “I willingly and lovingly release all that no longer serves me in a positive and productive way.” In addition, I have been diffusing specific Essential Oils my body says it needs and using them on my skin. I don't know if I buy into this Emotional Freedom Release or not. It seems a lot like getting your palm read (though I have never had that done before). Sadly, a Naturopath and acupuncture is not covered under my insurance and this part of my journey is getting really expensive--especially with all of these supplements and diet changes I have been asked to make. I am roughly 10 weeks out since I stopped all antidepressants. Symptoms now listed below: The Anger seems to be better but it varies what sets me off. The headaches are still present just don't last as long. My appetite is better on this new diet but has started to go away again in the last week, April 11, 2015. My Libido is still completely gone. I am still not attracted to my wife or anyone else. I still cannot have a physical/emotional connection in sex. I still have various other PSSD symptoms. I still have no sense of spirituality. This and my PSSD are the worst symptoms. I sleep only with Lorazepam 1 MG with the exception of 1 night. My personality still is completely different. I still have no compassion for others. I am slightly better in terms of wanting to cause conflicts or hearing other opinions. I still have noticed it is hard to concentrate and remember things. In the last few days, April 11, 2016, I seem to be developing the worst depression of my life (much worse than anything I experienced above) In the last few days, April 11, 2016, my mood can swing from normal to completely sad in moments. Today, April 15, 2016, I started experiencing slight tremors in my hands making it difficult to do things like crack an egg, wipe down a pan, etc. That is my story so far. I am hoping it gets better but, to be really honest with you, I am pretty hopeless. As a Christian, that believes the Holy Spirit is inside of me, having that vanish is pretty hopeless. This and the lack of a physical/emotional connection with my wife are very hard to live with. Can anyone relate to what I am going through? I have read in places that SSRI withdrawal takes place in an initial phase and a Phase 2 that is much worse. Supposedly Phase 2 comes anywhere from 6 weeks to a few months later after you discontinue medication. Any truth to this?
  25. Dear all, I am currently coming off abilify, I am on 3ml of abilify liquid titration. 2007 August- voluntary patient in a private clinic abroad- fro 3 months- turning point for me for the better- prescribed abilify..and lorazepam...took abilify for 7 years but not the benzo as luckily, when I returned my GP took them away from me saying they were highly addictive.... After returning to university and graduating .. It was then I decided to face events from the past and ask questions.. which were never answered at the time. In 2013 I decided to come off them, a withdrawal plan was set up and my brain went like a yoyo- after taking 15 mg for 6 years.. psychiatrist prescribed 15 for a month, 10 alternating days, 10-5 mg for another few months alternating days... my delicate CNS was in so much pain.. I stopped at 5 mg in 2014 around June..but I went from 10to 5mg big drop.. ..from September 2014 to January- the most horrible pain ever.. January 2015- now 2.5mg also half. It was when I went on holiday in spain after going to A&E that in september 2014 after not being able to cope for months with these headaches..that I was told not to decrease so rapidly, or on alternate days, or more than 15%- news to me. ..In august 2015 decided to go back to 5mg- I had to make the decision to increase the meds and face pain and improve memory than have more memory loss and also pain...I will get there but don't know how long it will take..hoping..can someone please advise.. all I seem to be getting is guesswork
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