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Found 47 results

  1. Celen

    Hi I am 43 and have been on numerous psychiatric drugs for over 20 years. I’ve been diagnosed with so many different mental health labels and have been on psych drugs for all. Over the last 8 years I have been basically bedridden. During the past two years I’ve had to fend for myself when I decided I wanted off all these pills. They have only made me worse. 2 yrs ago I came off cold turkey Abilify, Latuda and 20 mg of fluoxetine. I felt great until 3 weeks in the withdrawals set in. I haven’t felt well since but have managed to wean off 70 mg of vyvanse, 1 mg of clonazepam, 15 mg diazepam and 10 mg of fluoxetine. I am now working on the last 10 mg of fluoxetine. After that I’ll start tapering my trazadone or more of the benzos. All-of this has been a nightmare, nausea,vomiting, headaches etc. I can not leave my house most of the time because of debilitating anxiety. I guess what Im looking for here is information, support, and ideas on diet ( no gallbladder and severe GERD) and tips on helping withdrawal symptoms. I feel like I can’t think properly,my memory is shot and right now I really need some hope. Also I’ve gained 70 lbs.
  2. I am new to this site. I was put on paroxetine six weeks ago in the UK but felt strange and discovered this is the strongest SSRI. I stopped cold turkey a week ago and feel awful mostly when I wake up. Can I start Fluoxetine yet or should I wait longer? ( I am abroad so can't get to my gp). Thanks
  3. I've been tapering down from 25mg Diazepam at the rate of 0.5mg a week, and have been making my own water suspension and syringes to micro-taper each week. This has not been entirely comfortable all the way - always an underlying anxiety and tiredness. I realise, though that I've not had some of the more debilitating experiences some people have. I reached 14mg last week and started the micro-taper to get me to 13.5mg. I've experienced more anxiety and depression, along with further loss of energy and increased apathy, weepiness and wondering how I can carry on. I'm wondering if this is possibly withdrawal symptoms from the benzo taper, or whether now that I'm getting lower on the dosages, the other meds I'm on are kicking in and producing added side-effects. Anyone got any experience, or ideas about what could be going on? I'm frightened that I won't be able to carry on looking after myself, or going for walks, or doing the part-time work I've got if this gets much worse. I'm holding the taper for the moment - at just under 14mg - to see if things even out over the next week. Thanks, Neroli
  4. Moderator Note: link to Neroli's benzo thread: Neroli: Could this be withdrawal symptoms How I wish I’d known BEFORE all this happened what I know now, how I wish there’d been more informed consent, more information, more care and that somehow I’d have found my way to Surviving Antidepressants to understand and be forearmed. Thank you to SA for the information and support you give to so many. The “professionals” still seem to be ignoring any hint of these drugs causing damage (in my experience of them anyway). And I, naively, thought they were like taking an aspirin - more or less benign. Started Citalopram in 2006 (for depression) took it for a year, no noticeable side effects (but also a very subtle benefit, if there was one). 2007-2011 on and off Citalopram, some side effects when off it (first anxiety attack ever, hmmm, now I wonder if this was withdrawal). 2011 back on Citalopram because of anxious feelings,
2013 report to doctor that I'm very tired all the time and yawning inappropriately. Doctor suggests trying another a-d. 
 Late 2013-mid 2014, taken through a series of meds.
Sertraline (no improvement)
Effexor (felt like I'd got a heavy flu if I was even an hour late taking the med, gastric problems)
Fluoxetine (panic attack, tension, insomnia, headaches, exhausted), Mirtazapine. BANG - insomnia, anxiety, black circles under eyes, exhaustion, dizziness, severe panic attack, headaches, sore eyes, hot face. Taken to emergency doctor and given Lorazepam, which calmed me down. 
 July 2014 stopped Mirtazapine (cold turkey, didn't know about severe or long-term, withdrawal effects then, but couldn't continue to take them as the side-effects were so monumental.) Went through acute withdrawal, which felt like I was being fried inside. Then began the long-term stuff - dizziness, nausea, anxiety etc. 
 February 2016 - having anxiety attacks, caved in and went to doctor. By this time, I’d started to find out more about the potential effects of these drugs and the possibly futile attempt to stabilise on more drugs and was extremely reluctant to re-instate. But I was in such a state of anxiety I could only think to try it. Re-instate on Fluoxetine - dreadful - bad gastro effects, insomnia, anxiety etc. 
 July 2016 - fast-ish taper off, after trying half dose for some time and still feeling dreadful.
Med free July 2016 - January 2017. Symptoms that persisted throughout all the times I was off the drugs - dizziness, unsteady on feet, blood rush from the head on standing (near fainting), sore stomach, gripey wind, heart palpitations, tiredness/exhaustion, tension, on edge, gripping anxiety attacks (these are the ones that make me feel like I'm never going to feel well again and hopeless), sensitivity to noise, other people and stress, tinnitus, dry mouth, sore eyes. Over December 2017 and January 2018 I had two massive panic attacks, one was after a run; I’d never had panic attacks before. I saw it as part of the long-term effects of the poly-drugging, cold turkey and re-instatement that I’d gone through. Over this period, I’d taken Lorazepam very occasionally and only at half-dose (0.5mg). Then my body collapsed, panic attacks increased, dizziness made me unstable, weak legs meant I could hardly walk, I was unable to shower or shop for myself and had 24/7 suicidal anxiety/akithisia. February 2017 - referred to psychiatrist, who did a 20 minute consultation (including asking what my birth was like???), and who flatly dismissed my proposal that this was the result of adverse effects of the drugs, and said he thought it was because I missed my mum (who’d died in 2012). Mid-February prescribed Escitalopram - felt I had no choice but to see if the drugs would even me out, even though I’d read (through this site and other avenues) that re-instatement didn’t always work. Continued to have acute anxiety - use of Lorazepam increases, although I try to keep it as low as possible. Early March 2017 Nortriptyline added. Mid February - to April 2017 Zopiclone and Lorazepam PRN - pretty regular use. April - August 2017 Prescribed Lithium - dreadful - raging insomnia, completely dried out - stopped after a week. Increased Nortriptyline over a number of weeks to 90 mg a day - insomnia eased, started to get 7 hours’ sleep. Felt weak and exhausted most of the time. Had used up all my annual and sick leave at work. Crossed to diazepam over many weeks - to 25mg a day in order to start a taper off. I began to be able to work from home, thanks to my employers who accommodated this, and have since increased to three days in the office and two days at home. I’m more mobile, can shop for myself and take care of myself. Legs still feel like lead and I have to use walking sticks for balance and help me walk. Have had a CT scan of my head - showed normal brain profile. This is where I’m at as I write - incremental improvement, very, very slow. Reducing Diazepam at 0.5mg a week. Want to taper off Escitalopram as it had no beneficial effect - but now scared that my system is SO messed up, any reduction will send me into a tailspin. Also, I understand tapering two drugs messes things up if there are adverse effects because you don’t know which taper is causing the problem. My life has been turned upside down by medications that the Dr told me would improve my quality of life.
  5. Hello there good people. Nice to meet you all. I am so relieved that I have found folks that know what I am going through. I am 61 years old and have just carefully and slowly weaned myself off Sertraline and Diazepam which I have been on since December 2014. At the moment I have cancer of the larynx so it was imperative I got off the meds so that I can work on getting my immune system fully up and running. I also gave up tobacco and alcohol in December 2014 so my body has a lot to do. And I now have a tracheostomy as a way to buy time as I have decided not to go for chemo or radio. I have a very old dog who is suffering from kidney failure and dementia so between us we present a truly thrilling picture of good health and sanity - she pees on the carpet a lot and I have panic attacks. Most attractive! It will be wonderful to be able to talk about what I am going through to people who know about it. Nobody else I know has any experience of this problem so I feel very alone with it which I know is not a good thing. My son (not living with me) is very supportive but I want to keep him out of this as much as I can as he has his own life to live. I also look forward to being able to offer support to other people when I am feeling a bit less stressed. At the moment I am having lots of fear thoughts which can be quite overwhelming. I have lots of other symptoms but this is the one I am finding difficult to deal with at the moment. I shall stop now before I get carried away. Thank you for your time.
  6. Moderator's note: link to Musk's members-only benzo thread - Musk: how to taper 5 mg diazepam every two days Hello, this is my first post. So grateful to find this forum. I am in Spain, not able to comunicate properly in english, I use googletraslator. My history: since spring 2015, postnatal depression with anxiety and somatization due to extreme fear of diseases, especially autoimmune diseases. Sertraline 100 mg & diazepam 5 mg from June 2016 to August 2017. Right after appendicitis with surgery (28 august 2017) and chronic hip and lumbar pain since 4 months. In consultation of rheumatology I discover that I have a hlab27 gene related to ankylosing spondylitis, which conditions me mentally more and more. But pain has not an inflammatory pattern and there is no sign of inflammation in blood. Now progressively more and more depressed with new symptom really the most disabling: severe insomnia. Medical proposal: return to sertraline. Big temptation, but I refuse. I continue with diazepam 5 mg (ocasionaly). Is this a possible case of withdrawal sindrome? Opinions welcome. In psycotherapy, I had some little epyphany (childhood trauma, obsesive negative thoughts...) Many many thanks.
  7. Some history. I've been on and off Fluoxetine and Citalopram all my adult life. They helped me, side effects were few apart from a few weeks of akathisia 10 years ago that passed during fluoxetine initiation. One side effect coming off fluoxetine that same time was a minor version of what I'm now going through. 10 weeks ago I started getting woken up by very rapid heart rate, an adrenaline burst, at the very moment of falling asleep. Like a hypnic jerk, but not my muscles twitching, instead my heart racing. I also got the same racing while waking up. So a wake-sleep transition thing. I managed to get to sleep eventually and usually got a good night's sleep. 5 weeks ago it got worse, so I went to my doctor and he's arranging a cardiologist to look at me (long waiting times in UK). Two weeks of sleep deprivation later I'm an anxious depressed mess. Dr puts me on Fluoxetine suggests anxiety may be the cause. I get akathisia bad, come off it, the doctor replaces it with low dose citalopram, which I'm tolerating. As well as low dose diazepam and zopiclone. Nothing is helping with the sleep disorder, which I believe is a parasomnia, possibly caused by stress/anxiety, but now the cause of suicidal thoughts due to extreme sleep deprivation. There's anecdote around that AD use or discontinuation cause such parasomnias. Any advice? Thank you, and good luck.
  8. Moderator note: Link to Nikki74's benzo thread: lexapro kindling akasthesia Mirtazipine diazepam Help. i recently stopped lexapro after a short taper from ten to five mg over 9 days. i had been on 20mg since 2011 then tapered quickly in June and stopped. This was a few weeks after stopping pregabalin 150mg v abruptly. all this time I was also on 15mg Mirtazipine. my anxiety went crazy and gp told me to double Mirtazipine dose to 30. I lasted 3 weeks of hellish symptoms and was put on diazepam and Zopiclone. im now off Zopiclone which was tough. 6 weeks ago GP told me to go back to 15mg Mirtazipine and add in 10mg lexapro. This didn't help so now have stopped lexapro three days ago but took 2.5 mg last night as am feeling withdrawal. gp wants me to start tapering diazepam as I'm getting worse akasthesia when it wears off or even a paradoxical reaction to it. i have akasthesia. Insomnia. Severe anxiety. Shaking. Muscle weakness. Obsessive thoughts and suicidal ideation as cannot go on like this. The only brief ride break I get is the 15mg Mirtazipine which calms me for 2-3 hours. How can I go on? i am a single mum and have CFS already for many years. do I stay off the Lexapro now? How do I cope with withdrawals, akasthesia, and tapering diazepam?? I take 7mg a day been on it three months. i can't stop in one place and am smoking (just tobacco) every half hour. i got sober in 2013. this is hell.
  9. Hi everyone, I've been on and off a slew of drugs since having depression starting in March 2016. I'm in the U.K. so was treated by our NHS who initially put me on mirtazapine then when that didn't work they introduced me to prozac at 25mg and my anxiety went sky high. I'd been on and off prozac several times in the last 20 years but the reaction was horrific. To calm me down they put me on Diazepam at 15mg until I became so ill I was hospitalised for 2 weeks in May 2016. Prozac was withdrawn and replaced by Escitalopram which gave me the same severe reaction. To counter this I was put on Lyrica at 300mg and within 10 weeks became suicidal so I've just finished a taper from lyrica and am still suffering withdrawals after 8 weeks off the med. To try and counter my increasing depression lofepramine was prescribed along with Quetiapine at 150mg. The lofepramine did nothing so I tapered off of that but the quetiapine was kept in place by my shrink. My Lyrrica withdrawal was painful and my shrink added Dosulepin as an A/D. All this time I was kept on diazepam. I'm now trying to untangle this mess and am suffering badly with depression and anxiety and none of my medication appears to be helping. I've made the decision to get off of as many meds as I can and am unsure of the order in which to reduce them. I feel I've been the victim of psychiatry and any advice would be appreciated.
  10. Hi all I was going to attempt to do this slowely by dropping to 1.25 an extra day each week but i felt more unwell after the first attempt. So i decided to see what would happen if i just dropped to 1.25 from 2.5. I did this last night. I am thinking if i can manage it then great if not i will reinstate at 2.5 and drop more slowely. I have asked my psychiatrist for liquid to do this but not got a reply. I really need of this med as my menstral cycle is totally off and i need to lose weight for surgery. Also i feel unlike myself alot. It is hard to tell the cause of the later as i am on 3 other meds but i have been on these longer so cannot remove them fastt particularly the diazepam. Ive been on olanzapine for 5 months at 2.5mg. Am desperately hoping that because if short duration of use,low dosage and the cushion of other meds this may be possible to do relatively fast. Any advice or experience is very welcome.
  11. William: Hello!

    Good morning people! Just wanted to introduce myself and share my experiences with fellow like minded antidepressant survivors! Was first prescribed SSRI's in 2012 due to severe anxiety and suicide attempts (lucky to be alive) Took Mirtazapine for a year or so. Made me a bit drowsy, didnt notice any improvements so came off it, cold turkey, but no symptoms/side effects A year later went back to my GP (big mistake!) and he decided on prescribing Zoloft. I had a very severe reaction to this medication. Its difficult to remember all the side effects i had but i'll try to list them. Depersonalisation. Erectyle dysfunction. Sensitive CNS. Tinnitus. Insomnia. Sickness. Diarrhea. Feeling dreadful all day. No energy. No happiness. Anger. Could not talk. It will be 3 years this XMAS and i am still nowhere healed. I still have tinnitus. Sensitive CNS and feel awful every single day I have seen 12 doctors during this period. No one really believes me A Neurologist at the hospital basically kicked me out my appointment and said its all in my head I am so angry with the medical community I traveled the world and worked in financial services prior to this reaction, now i am on the sofa being cared for by my girlfriend I read the success stories on this forum and they give me hope, but its difficult to carry on when i have little improvement I bet your wondering, why are you only posting now? This forum scared me when i saw people say it took years to recover. When it happened i thought i would be one of the lucky ones who would heal in 3-6 months. WRONG! I currently take 5mg Valium on a as needed basis. But the last time i took some was months ago. I save them for when i need to be somewhere and acting normal (e.g. funerals/xmas time etc) I spend my time on the sofa, in bed or in the bath. It is a tuely miserable existance. So, here I am. My name is William and in live in England. From reading these forums i have all the answers i need. Patience and time are my friends. But happy to connect with people currently suffering through the lies of Big Pharma Have a good day all Will
  12. Hi all, just been given a prescription of Gabapentin today to help me with pain/sleep as Diazepam/Temazepam/ higher doses of Seroquel doing nothing for the latter - have histamine intolerance though, thus came across this site and these posts [in undiagnosed1's introduction topic]. May I ask does Gabapentin decrease or increase histamine? It's unclear. Look forward to hearing from you. Kind regards. S
  13. Hi everyone, My shrink recently did not get my Lamotrigine refill to me on time, so I was forced to suddenly stop taking it for 6 days. It messed me up a bit, but not too much. I decided I was going to begin tapering off the Sertraline and Lamotrigine (all info in signature). More recently, she did not get my Diazepam refill to me on time, so I was again forced to go cold turkey, but this time on a benzo. After feeling like total crap for the first 2 days or so, I began to feel better, so I decided to continue the cold turkey of the diazepam. i am 6 days in and the severity and number of withdrawal symptoms are growing. I want to continue and be done with it. It's awful, but not unbearable. Hopefully it won't get to that. I understand that Diazepam (Valium) has a long elimination half-life and that the worse may be yet to come seeing that the w/d peak at about 2 weeks. Still, i want to keep going. I am at a place in my life where I am able to stay home, and ride it out. I know i need a new shrink and i should be doing this under medical supervision. I know this was probably not the most ideal decision. However, it is what it is. I wanted to begin tapering down anyway since my sleeping had stabilized for long enough and this was supported by my therapist (psychologist), but since the 2 "hiccups" with the shrink (total negligence, really) I decided I would bite the bullet and take the plunge with all my meds. I am fully aware that you guys are not medical professionals. I came here to get some support and advice, and to hear your thoughts and experiences to help me get through this. Real stories from real people are so much more valuable than a medical professional's opinion, who very likely has no idea what we're going through. I know going cold turkey is not recommended but what's done is done. For the record the meds are Sertraline (Zoloft SSRI), Lamotrigine (Lamictal - mood stabilizer), Oxcarbazepine (Trilpetal - anticonvulsant) and Diazepam (Valium - benzodiazepine). Thank you
  14. Moderator note: link to jenthorz's members-only benzo thread My name is Jennifer. Been on some form of antidepressants and/ or benzo starting off and on since age 16. I'm 45 now. Life's been challenging non-stop. Some because of poor decisions, some from trauma, and some from just being an anxious and fearful person. Married too young. Must be all my Daddy issues. Had baby at 18. Divorced that guy. Brother died around then at age 14. Was hit by two drunk drivers December 12, 1989. Married again later to someone I knew was good for me and son. Thought I would learn to love him. Sure you know how that ended up, but during that time 3 more children. 1 girl and a pair of twin boys. All wonderful. My oldest has Severe Autism and scizophrenia. First 7 years were difficult but manageable and his intermittent explosive disorder was dealable. I love him very much. Age 12 hit him and then whammo!! Rapid growth and his episodes became so violent I usually ended up looking like hamburger after. He bit hard you see. Doing that for 21 years gave me PTSD. I'll spare you the details. Anyway, I'd have to write a book to explain all the heartbreak, so I'll just end it here with my current med situation. Depression/Anxiety Disorder and PTSDZoloft 75 mg. And Valium 15 mg a day, but tapered to 1.5 mg. A day over the course of months. Keeping Zoloft at current dose until well off Valium. Valium also assisted with vertigo not just panic attacks. Most bothersome withdrawal symptoms during taper: night sweats, zaps, eyesight changes, insomnia, queasiness, nightmares, concentration issues, and extreme fatigue. Thank you for letting me join. Besides all that above, I'm a pretty insightful, intelligent, kind, and funny gal. Nice to be here.
  15. Australian Valium Recall by TGA

    Valium 5 mg recalled - suspected Tampering
  16. Over the course of 6 months I was rapidly tapered by my psychiatrist from 60mg to 20mg of paxil. April of this year I was told to stop taking the 20mg paxil as my psych thought it was making my benzo withdrawal symptoms worse. It's been over a month now and I'm having horrible anxiety, fatigue, nausea and insomnia. My psychiatrist doesn't think that my withdrawal symptoms are coming from the paxil withdrawals. He said that my body should be past that. But at the same time he's rapidly cut my dose of valium too from 60mg to 30mg in one month. I don't know what to do. If I should reinstate the paxil? Check in at a behavioral center and try to stabilize. It's been hell and I'm not sure what to do. I have since been prescribed Seroquel 200mg, lamictal 25mg, remeron 15mg, and I'm currently on valium 30mg. Please give me advice. I already know that this psychiatrist sounds like a horrible one, but I wouldn't be able to see a different one in at least a couple months. Thanks everybody! --sorry, forgot to mention that I was on the paxil for over 3 1/2 years and over the course of the 6 month taper I was switched between a lot of different ssri's. More than I can remember.
  17. I'm new to this site. I visit benzo buddies but I'm left feeling confused. I am currently on 4.5mg of liquid concentrate diazepam. I am holding because I cut a little too much a few weeks ago and am really feeling symptoms. Does anyone on here know about the "daily micro liquid taper" how should I go about doing this? I have a 1ml syringe with .01 increments but if I follow what people tell me and cut .02 a day that seems like a lot and it seems like it would catch up to me and I would get hit! any experience or advice would really be appreciated.
  18. Hi, I am feeling rather desperate with increasing symtoms. Here goes: I have been microtapering Valium since 2012 without major problems. Also on Sertralin 25 mg since 2007. In september 2016 I accidentely missed a dose Valium, 0,30 mg and went into withdrawal. Continued microtaper (tital 0,03mg) until Feb 2017. Was symptomatic. Then started new batch Sertralin (same dose 25 mg) and the day after developed new symtoms - very dry burning mouth, dizzieness, derealisation. New symtoms for me. Called manufacturer who confirmed that new batch was 1% more potent. Waited two weeks for stabilisation which did not happen. Developed nightly panicattacks and agitation. Decreased Sertalin 1%. Better for one week. Now increasingly more severe symtoms by the day with occasional windows. What is happening? What should I do? Thanks for you advice.
  19. Hi! I am 28 year male. I´ve suffered for some years a general dizziness, insomnia and lack concentration. Let me apologise for any future grammar mistake as English is not my first language. Just to mention, although I don´t think is relevant, when I was 18 I took venlafaxine ( Vandral) for 1 year and a half or so in order to cope with depression I was suffering. A relative died and everything went messy. Anyway, I quit it. I remember I followed more or less the withdrawal instructions doctor gave me. This was long time ago, and I am not sure if it gave any side effect but don´t think so. so: Then from 18-19 to 25 I was taking methylphenidate which helped me with my assumed attention deficit. And when I was 23 I had to take Diazepam (benziodiazepines) for 1 month or less. Unfortunately I don´t remember all the details. To summarise, more or less after quiting diazepam / or ( maybe after so many years of methylphenidate) my mental skills worsened a lot Last 3-4 years I´ve been having a severe dizziness and the hell out of problems with short term memory. Also when there´s a some of stress, I forget everything and become impulsive, as if I was a little bit neurotic. It takes me 1 to sleep if I am relaxes, otherwise I could be awake for 4 hours. I visited several doctors (Nuclear Magnetic Resonance Imaging, blood tests, etc), but nothing came from that. No need to mention that it affects my performance at work. I work in an stressful environment and I belive I have to change because my "blackouts" / forgetful phases are troublesome, specially during the morning ( i wonder if anyone knows why). I already quit coffe but still there. 1. Does anyone know if benziodiazepines or maybe the interaction between them and methylphenidate could cause you any side effect? 2. Is there any reason why my black outs are stronger in the morning until mid afternoon? It was good to find this forum as most people and doctors didn´t believe me at all. If you have read it all, many thanks.
  20. I'm shaking as I write this. Long story short, went on antidepressants about 9 years ago for disthymia, GAD, and Panic Disorder. Started on Lexapro. It worked fairly well and had no startup side effects. PDoc added Welbutrin. It worked well too. Switched from Lexapro to another SSRI briefly without problems. Switched to Zoloft and stayed on it for about 8 years. Smooth sailing aside from the sexual side effects, which caused me (stupidly) to quit cold turkey in November of 2016. From then to January 2017 I felt fine except for brain zaps. Those eventually went away and haven't returned. February 2017 I started getting weird chest tightness and heaviness, accompanied by a stinging in the mouth and tongue. Had EKG, echo, chest xray, all fine. Saw a new PDoc on March 3rd who said chest symptoms were anxiety and put me on Trintellix and Klonopin. Was hesitant to start these drugs so I waited awhile. Took a friend's 0.25 Xanax on occasion during March to combat relatively mild anxiety from chest symptoms. Anxiety was getting worse so I decided to try the Klons. Was prescribed 0.5 to 1 every night before bed. Started doing that about March 16 with varied results. One day it seemed to work like a charm while the next day not at all, or even seemed to make anxiety worse. March 24 decided to try the Trintellix. March 25, 26 went by without side effects then BAM on March 27 I began what I can only describe as an unending and unrelenting panic attack that has only ceased briefly a few times since. I kept taking it anyway until March 29 when I called PDoc who told me to stop taking it and take something else. I told him F that, I want to go back to Zoloft and Welbutrin, at least I know that works. Been taking the Zoloft and Welbutrin since then. Saturday April 1st, 10:00pm I took 0.5 Clonazepam and fell asleep for 4 hours. Sunday April 2 2:00am awoke in a state of severe anxiety, about a 9.5/10, worse than I had ever felt. 5:00am went to the ER. 9:00am given Ativan at ER. Did not help. Voluntarily admitted to psych ER. In holding area until 11:00pm then transported by ambulance to a psych ward an hour away. Psych ward was a nightmare and drove my anxiety even higher which I didn't think was even possible. Monday April 3 evening, anxiety at 9.5. Blood pressure 177 systolic. Nurse gives 0.5 Xanax. Blood pressure drops to normal. Anxiety drops to 7.5. An hour later, anxiety up to 10!!! Nerves feel like they're on fire, heart pounding fast, muscles very weak, brain feels like it's being electrocuted. Given Hydroxyzine. An hour later, still 10. Given 2mg Xanax and wheelchaired back to room, or rather empty jail cell. Passed out. Tuesday April 4 awoke feeling drugged and anxiety at 5. Discharged at 1pm. Anxiety drops to 3. Arrive home, anxiety drops to 2. I was hopeful that the nightmare was over. Nope. Yesterday Wednesday April 5 morning, anxiety at 3. By noon anxiety climbed to 7. Is fluctuating between 5 and 7. Called PDoc in a panic. PDoc says keep taking Zoloft and Welbutrin and also prescribes Neurontin and Valium to be taken 3x per day, 2x dosage at bedtime. Picked up scripts that evening and took the bedtime dose. About a half hour later started feeling weird but good. Didn't last long though. Had a rough night. Today April 6 morning I felt very weird, but not in a good way. Tremors in my facial muscles, derealization, slow thinking. Looked up Neurontin on the Internet and learned how bad it is. Decided not to take morning dose and called PDoc and left message. I did take the morning Valium though, and that helped for a few hours. Took the afternoon Valium and it seemed to increase my anxiety and make me dizzy. PDoc hasn't called back. This is HELL. There's no end to my anxiety attack. I cannot function. I'm going to lose my job, my health insurance. Please tell me there's an end to this suffering. Please give me some hope. Some advice. What is happening to me? Is my life over?
  21. Going through various tests for bodily ill health. Had an endoscopy which caused MORE physical symptoms, plus anxiety. After standard blood tests all clear, told new symptoms down to Panic Disorder, after the endoscopy, (I personally dont agree, but gave it a shot). Given Mirtazapine 15mg one at night 10th Feb. (plus x15 5mg tabs of Diazepam for emergencies). Took for 2weeks, no change at all. I stopped it by taking 1/2 tab for a few nights. Was in A&E 29th March, tests done for physical symptoms, told its probably anxiety. Prescribed Buspirone 5mg x3 times a day, from 29th March evening to last night 1st April. I've had the most awful side effects which really are causing me to be anxious. The short half life makes it very difficult to get the timing right & the symptoms are horrendous; not able to concentrate, confusion & irrational reactions to stimuli, like sounds, visual stuff etc & unwanted thoughts. I'm not sleeping properly either & I'm having random muscle spasms. I do not want this drug in my system. This morning, I've not taken it. I feel like I'm going crazy when it happens & it makes me panic. Is it safe to take 2.5mg Diazepam to help cope with the withdrawal symptoms? Not constant use, just when it becomes too much. I dont want a protracted tapering withdrawl if I can avoid it.Last time I took a Diazepam (5mg) was a week ago I think. I've posted this in the Benzo forum aswell.
  22. Hi I'm Kat At last after 25 years and after much begging my Mh team have said I can gradually withdraw from the cocktail of drugs I am taking. Starting a week on Friday. They have decided that the first med I should taper is the 30mg of Mirtazepine. They didn't explain why this particular drug should be the first to start with. They also didn't tell me what the lower dose will be. I take Diazepam, Risperidone, zopiclone and prn tamezepam. Any help would be appreciated so that I can make a decision whether to do what why MH team want me to do.
  23. Moderator Note: Link to Maresat's benzo thread Posted 15 March 2017 - 10:08 PM Hi , I'm new here .... I've read a lot of posts and found some great advice and wisdom relative to WDs . I started my Valium taper at 10 mgs June 2016 , after a very difficult cross from klonopin that was pretty horrific. I kinda wished I had been more informed and had tried tapering direct from klonopin , but I only knew the Ashton method at that point and thought it was the way to go. Anyway , since June , I don't know if I was ever really stable on the V. My nervous system was so messed up from the crossover, ( and I think from my steroid CT ) but I thought I could just go ahead and begin the V taper at the Ashton rate. After the first mg things got really bad. ( mostly bed bound, terrible burning flesh and skin, stomach pains , concrete head, memory issues, difficulty walking , zero stress tolerance, hypersensitivity to sound and more) By September I had to hold my taper at 81/4 mgs V. every time I have tried to cut the tiniest amount ( liquid MT), I get thrown back into crippling WDs . I am hypersensitive to everything , cannot work or even socialize in any way, a lot of pain and constant burning skin and flesh. I hate how sedating the V is , I dose three times a day. Most of my symptoms are physical . I have managed to get down almost to 8 mgs Since the end of September, just making little reductions here and there, but they always hit me really hard and take weeks to recover from. I don't know how to proceed. It seems my only option is to keep holding and trying to cut little bits when I feel I can. I was only on benzos daily for 6 months , and can't believe this is so hard. Is anyone else THIS sensitive ? I have reduced my gabapentin from 900 mgs to 415 mgs , I'm not absolutely sure when I started that , sometime in 2016. I have been advised that for now it would best to hold tapering the gabapentin , as even though I haven't felt any particular WDs from it , it could be influencing my Valium taper. I definitely feel the Valium cuts very specifically though. I do want to get lower in dose on my Valium , that I feel is my first priority. I haven't been non symptomatic since the start of this taper. I'd really like to find a way to taper where I can have a bit of a life while I do it. I just wonder if anyone else has similar experience . I will feel 1/30th of a 1/4 mg cut of V! At this rate it would take me 6-8 years to come off.... i suppose I wouldn't mind if I can live a life in the meantime. Thanks in advance for any experience or encouragement you may have. Maresat Ps , I couldn't fit my supplements in my sig, so here they are- I do take magnesium in a liquid sea mineral form , and know to take it 2 hours away from gabapentin - about 100 mgs day Milk thistle, biotin-1,000 mg, Pantethine-300 mg, ester c-100mg, krill oil-1000 mg,saffron-88 mgs, lactium-167 mgs, citicoline-300 mgs,niacinamide-500-1,000 mgs, l-lysine-500 mg, zinc piconolate-15 mg
  24. Hi all I'm new to this forum and really in a bad place currently. Last year I was using 20mg valium + 1mg xanax a day for a few months and decided to come off these over Christmas, without having researched the proper way. I tapered off the Xanax by splitting the pills over the course of a week or two and with the valium, tapered again over a few weeks by splitting the pills down. However, this didn't work and left me feeling utterly awful, so on the 3rd of Feb, I web to see my local GP who recommended I start tapering over 3 weeks, starting with 7.5mg, then 5mg, then 2.5mg then nothing. The end result, a few weeks later, is that I have lost my ability to concentrate almost entirely, my sleeping is pretty terrible and anxiety at a very high level. I am due to go see the doctor again in a couple of hours to decide on what needs to be done next. My current biggest fear is that, because I work for myself, I am going to have to declare bankruptcy both personally (I have a 6k credit card debt) and via the company, along with moving out of my rented apartment - to where I don't know, possibly my brother's place as he's the only person in my family with a spare room - and having my entire career and life collapse around me. Having read the Ashton manual (and even showed this to my doctor) I understand the need to taper slowly, but: having tried the doctor's recommendation of a fast taper and finding this doesn't work, is it worth trying to reinstate and then carry out a slow taper? I'm at my wit's end and really cannot see a way out of this: if I wasn't self-employed, I think things would be less bad but at the moment everything seems insurmountable I simply do not know what to do. Any suggestions?
  25. Hello everyone. I had been on this forum many times before reading all the posts, usually in the dead of night when feeling so desperate and alone with insomnia but did not sign up until now as hoping I would be feeling a bit better by now. I don't. I came off Duloxetine/Cymbalta, 60mg,in June 2016 cold turkey, probably a huge mistake to do it this way but I had been in touch with my doctor and he suggested to change antidepressant to Citalopram 20mg which I tried for a week and felt strange so ended up ditching both. I went through a terrible time of adjustment for the first 100 days but then seemed to manage slightly better, although it was tough I had hope for a while apart from the no sleep. After another few weeks all kinds of symptoms came at me like an express train and these now remain. I feel generally unwell all the time, depressed, no interest, no zest for life and just not functioning very well. I do have Citalopram tablets, 20mg, here in the house and feel tempted to take them but unsure of what to do. I also have Diazepam which I have taken on and off for 8/9 years 2mg. The Diazepam does not help me sleep at all but does calm me down a little but I feel it is not helpful to my withdrawal off the anti depressents and may be making symptoms worse. Would like to ask advice as to whether or not to reinstate antidepressents for a while as struggling so badly with suicidal thoughts and of little hope in recovering. 8 months of feeling so ill everyday is such hard work and is like living less than half a life. All hope I had in feeling better has gone, I cant believe I can feel this bad and still continue to try and get on with the days activities. I keep thinking that I should be in a hospital being looked after but of course any doctor would just dose me up, seems appealing today. Any suggestions would be appreciated very much.
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