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  1. Need stories of hope for marriage

    Hi everyone, My husband, the love of my life, has been on SSRIs since he was 15. Last year at age 35 he told me he no longer loved me, hadn't for some time, and left me within weeks of the birth of our third baby. It has been agony. I've been researching this phenomenon for the last year and can see so CLEARLY the ways he became more and more emotionally disabled the longer he stayed on the meds. He became a TOTALLY different person spring 2016 when his dose of Lexapro was doubled from 10 to 20 mg. - hypomanic, cold, hostile. By the GRACE OF GOD he has reduced down to 5 mg, though too quickly. His personality is beginning to surface, the windows getting bigger, but the ability to feel his bond towards me remains asleep. I await the man I married to return to himself. For this uncaring thing he has become to wither and die. He has lived with such distortions for so long . . . my hurt and frustration and sometimes anger over his apathy, loss of affection, lack of participation in our LIFE has been viewed by him as unreasonable, overly emotional, bullying, controlling . . . Thanks to the resources on these forums I have understood it was not HIM doing this, and have facilitated him being as involved in our home, with our children, as much as he'll allow. He never bailed on the kids, though he has complete apathy for the pain he's caused them. I would LOVE to hear stories of people, both spouses who were left and the drugged spouse who did the leaving, coming home to one another. What was the process like? How long did it take for the fog to lift and those romantic feelings to become accessible again? Was it like one morning you were back, or was it a more gradual process? I've read lots of stories like this, but would love to have MORE. I crave uplifting stories to help me as I wait. God has told me every day to have hope, and my love only grows stronger as the memories of past hurts from his apathy heal with the compassion I gain knowing what I now know about these terrible drugs. Thanks in advance for all that is shared.

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