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  1. I am so glad that I came across this forum! I feel like crying when reading peoples stories and their struggle with coming off the antidepressants! I was prescribed Zoloft for anxiety and Depression which I have been suffering for years! Mainly anxiety and panic disorder! I am otherwise healthy. Zoloft caused PGAD that has caused me so much anguish, I feel like I am living in a nightmare! I only took Zoloft for 3 days 25mg and this happened to me! I wanted to and still have thoughts of suicide! I felt that I was some kind of a freak and pervert! It has been 4 weeks and things have improved but not completely gone! I constantly feel burning sensation, and tingles that drive me crazy! I can deal with the burning sensations but tingles I can not stand! I got better then I took a herbal supplement for anxiety and it has come back today! I am taking fish oil supplement and I wonder if I am now sensitive to fish oil too??? Should I stop or cut back on fish oil? I just don't know what to take anymore! I never could imagine that this could happen to me as I was not aware! The doctor did not mention anything so I had no idea! I am naturally a slim person and my only worry at the time was if I was going to gain weight while on antidepressants, and my doctor reassured me "Very Unlikely". I took her word for it and I took the medication. In did not want to deal with, anxiety, depression and plus weight issues as a result of antidepressants! I told my doctor what happened to me and like many others have reported "she has never heard of it". That made me feel so humiliated and embarrassed. The point is that the doctors are not educated in regards to this issue. I recently went back to her and told her that I am still experiencing issued down below, burning sensation ever since Zoloft and she said that it is a coincidence! I am sick of doctors, they are full of ****! You tell them one thing and they turn it around! I just prey this eventually goes away and settles down! If this does not settle down I would consider removing sensitive part of my anatomy! I hate it! I can't stand it! How is everyone else coping with this? What have you found that helps? I have not felt peaceful down below for the last 4 weeks! I have never heard of this condition prior to taking antidepressants. Please help, Thank you.
  2. Hi all. I have been researching psych med withdrawal for the past couple months, ever since i came off Latuda, which gave me anxiety so bad that i couldnt sleep for days, ended up in the ER, on Klonopin, and finally a week stay in the VA psych ward where they put me on mirtazapine 15mg. I am currently tapering off Mirtazapine. this is my 4th day dropping my dose to 7.5 and i havent felt anything different yet. I will keep posting.
  3. Hello everyone, my name is Nicholas and I'm a 21 years old guy from Italy. I suffered from chronic insomnia from the age of 15 and in mid-February 2017 was prescribed before bedtime the antidepressant mirtazapine at 15 mg and the antipsychotic olanzapine at 2,5 mg. I took them for 2 weeks without improvement. Therefore the psychiatrist increased mirtazapine at 30 mg and olanzapine at 10 mg. Now I believe that he thought I had bipolar disorder type 1 but I hadn’t any mental illnes. I took olanzapine at 10 mg because I think was only a tranquilizer and because I trusted the doctor. Olanzapine made me sleep for 13 hours but I was no longer myself. After 5 days I tried to split the tablet but it gave me a strange effect. So I continued for others 15 days at 10 mg because I really needed to sleep. Then in April 2017 I tapered olanzapine in 1 week because I could not live anymore like that. I took it for a total of 48 days. After this I reduced mirtazapine to 15 mg and 1 week later I stop cold turkey. At that time I took the benzodiazepine brotizolam at 0,25 mg for 2 weeks to help me sleep. The withdrawal symptoms were terrible for 4 months and I have not been the same anymore. When I was on mirtazapine and olanzapine I had eyelids fasciculation 2 or 3 times per day. When I quitted olanzapine the eyelids fasciculation ceased. 2 weeks after withdrawal from olanzapine and 1 week from mirtazapine I started to have frequently intermittent muscle twitching in the left thigh and occasionaly pulsating muscles in other parts of the body. After less than a couple of months they have decreased in frequency and intensity but didn’t stop completely. During this period I was forced to take the antidepressant sertraline and the benzodiazepine diazepam because for the new psychiatrist I had obsessive compulsive disorder with an obsession for the damage of antipsychotics. I did not have anything like that and could taper and withdraw after 3 months in July 2017. Now I think maybe that the muscles twitching have diminished because diazepam is also a muscle relaxant. In August 2017 I started to have continuous fasciculations in the legs when I lie down and less frequently when I sit while I never had them when I move. Few times a day I had pulsating muscles also in the arms and the trunc but never in the face. I never had muscle twitches in multiple parts of the body at the same time. In September the muscles twitching moved for 1 week in the lower abdominals. In October 2017 for 2 weeks the muscles twitches suddenly stopped in the legs and continued in the rest of the body about 10 times per day. When the muscles twitching returned they were milder. Sometimes the fasciculations are so mild that when I looked at my calf I saw them without feel them. In the legs they have become more single rapid muscular contractions than pulsating muscles. Soon after I started to have continuos pulsating muscle in my upper lip. The muscle twitch was very mild and lasted 2 weeks but after it I have sometimes pulsating muscle also in my face. Do you think it is a tardive dyskinesia caused by olanzapine despite I haven’t involuntary body movements? Do you think it could be some other side effect caused by olanzapine or maybe mirtazapine? It’s 8 months that I’ve it. I have been visited by several psychiatrists and neurologists and everyone said it was just stress. Even if I do not have the symptoms of tardive dyskinesia I do not know what else it could be: I’m not stressed and I do not suffer from anxiety, I do not take stimulants, I can sleep, I have had blood tests and I haven’t electrolyte imbalances or hypoglycemia, I did electromyography and had normal results. The thing that worries me most is that there is a very large amount of medical literature that associates tardive dyskinesia with cognitive impairments. If it were to be tardive dyskinesia do you think that the fact that for almost 2 weeks the muscles twitches had almost disappeared means that I am healing? Thank you and greetings from Italy.
  4. I’m new to this website/forum, but I’ve been researching and finding great information about people getting off their psychiatric medication. I’m 46, and I was 20 years old in college when I experienced my first full blown panic attack (official diagnosis, panic disorder without agoraphobia, generalized anxiety disorder, depression). Looking back (after lots of therapy), I can now understand the stress I was under at that time. But the main point is that I was put on zoloft and lorazepam which, combined with lots of “social drinking” seemed to put a lockdown on the panic attacks (though I would still wake up with some varying degrees of anxiety most mornings). I put my head down and just sort of pushed my way through life, graduating from college with honors, holding a job doing community education / organizing / speaking, shifting gears and going back to school, and then starting my own successful business. Jump to about 4 years ago, 2012 and things just seemed to begin falling apart. The successful company I had created was now failing, a relationship I actually felt invested in was failing, and the hangovers from drinking had become really intense. In short, I ran out of steam. I gave up drinking in the spring of 2014, and that summer decided I was going to get off the damn meds. I did it the “right way,” tapering off the benzos first, and then the SSRI. And though the anxiety would increase while tapering and it was tough, by the end of the summer (early September) I was actually med free! Unfortunately, mid-October the panic attacks returned full force. Again, I can see now that this was a particularly stressful period of my life, but of course I was really disappointed when I decided I just had to get back on the meds (the panic attacks were relentless and excruciating). The problem was that the meds no longer seemed to work like they did before. And now I’m on MORE meds (add in remeron and extra 50 mg of zoloft). I have made some changes, doing lots of therapy, ACA support groups (and looking at childhood issues generally), exercising again regularly, EMDR, meditation, etc. And I want OFF the meds! I know I need to do this slowly, and at this point, I cut the remeron from 15 mg to 7.5 (about 1.5 months ago) and I’ve cut the benzo (now clonazepam) from 2 mg to 1.5 per day (just started that 3 days ago). My thought is to cut the benzos first, then the last of the remeron. I know with the relatively long half-life of the clonazepam, I need to take it slowly. I’m thinking .5 mg every 2 weeks. From the information I've come across, it seems like some taper off even more slowly than that? I'm looking for others to share their experiences with their own clonazepam withdrawal schedules (for panic disorder, preferably). I just don’t know what to do about the SSRI (zoloft). I realize this website is about benzo withdrawal, but I’m hoping to find others with experience on panic disorder and SSRI withdrawal too (as well as benzo withdrawal support). I hope this is OK on this forum? I’ve been “working with the anxiety” (trying to “make friends” with it as they say in the meditation circles). I know I’m less scared of it now, but I'm also not experiencing the full blown panic attacks. My concern is that I would get off everything (including the SSRI/zoloft) and then the panic attacks return, and it takes SO LONG for the SSRI to build up in one’s system. Do I just prepare myself to weather that storm? Will that storm really pass eventually without the meds? After years of trying to make my physiology match the lifestyle I felt I should lead, I’m now accepting the idea that I need to make my lifestyle match my physiology. The panic attacks are just so damn awful when they hit relentlessly all day long, day after day. I’m scared. Is there anyone out there that has had any experience with the meds and panic attacks along the lines that I have had? Are there other resources out there I should know about? Is it really possible that I can live a purposeful (and perhaps at least semi-peaceful) life without meds after 25 years of being on them? Much gratitude . . .
  5. Hi all , I am 8 months off reinstated sertraline for a month ( by doc) and Aripropazole. History Its around 4 years back when i passed out my college and not get placed even after making to finals in many interviews .. that i decided to write competitive exam for PG. I had taken coaching but just before exam I came back and found myself unable to recall things. My brain is just like nothing in it. I found myself in despair and stopped studying. This fog is happening all the time since my engineering but I managed to get average marks sometimes and sometimes very good . There is more in back history but I ll get to it later. So, my parents took me to a psychiatrist ( family known) and he put me to Olanzapine and one more thing. He diganosed me bipolar2. I got about 10 pounds on it but its not help . Meanwhile after 4 months, with the help of a relative , I got intern in a company and I moved out with fog to a distant city. TThere in a hospital, they put me on floxetine and Amisulpride for 3 months . Then i moved to a private psychiatrist ... where it starts getting haywire . He stopped fluoxetine and Amisulpride . And put me on Venlafaxine and Seroquel... As i was interning, i get usual heat racing in between job times but my doctor convinced me to stay with it . 4 months and I just started feeling agitated due to stress. It happened that I slapped a senior on abusing me and there I left a job I never happened to get physical in my school or college .. but it happened. Doctor told me to scrap the prescription he wrote of raising Venlafaxine. And he put me paroxetine + Oxcarbazepine. In his words , it is best tolerable and has lesser side effects. I managed to get a job by my own and cracking first time. But this time there is lot of work and culture pressure. Its a startup with full of politics . Boss and his boss .. all keep on putting things. Let office aside, I started feeling some well .. overly casual ... excited .. raged .. Iits about 25 mg Paroxetine and 300/600 mg Oxcarbazepine. I had unusual violent acts .. had hit a school friend .. insomnia.. I decided to leave the paxil by asking the doctor . He said half in a week and then other half a week to off. Thats when it all started , i cannot sleep whole night and with day light i start getting a nap. I left going office with fear of state i was in . I cannot wake and even if I .. i was too tired and angry . Doctor then gave me Mirtazapine which didn't help . I resigned job telling muly boss about all and came back home. It was Nov,2015. I start getting yhese uncontrollable rage that I locked myself in a room. Parents took to a local shrink who put me on Venlafaxine+ Mirtazapine(CRF), lamotrigine, resperidal, Seroquel. The NEXT Day I woke up so fresh .. all calm like 12 yrs back .. i was smiling happy.. but it lasted only 4 hrs .. and i am doomed again . I took those meds 10 days and i decided to go off. Physical Damage. I got brain zaps as sounds with eye movement .. While on Paxil I got severe neck stiffness and movement pains - which came out as Osteophytes. Anger , heart race , memory, fog , chest pains , fatigue ... All I beared for 4 months. Reinstatement after 4 months. Father took me to another psych who put me on Sertraline+ Aripropazole+ Seroquel. I started having increases restless legs than before and the doctor asked me not to go over net. After 2 visits and when he said it wslas Aripropazole for restlessness all time.. and he is cutting it . I stopped all meds . Withdrawals in 8 months. All first symptoms with some new like utter sensitivity in teeth. It is while breathe in most of the teeth . Muscles gone from forearms .. My left hands gone ulnar neuropathy and i got surgery done when no hope lived. Right hand has stiffness too . MAnger I am living with .. I have stopped talking .. I have decided to go sit on my Shop but I was unable to understand the talk . In spite anger biuts and memory makes it difficult to adjust. I keep forgetting people faces .. important talks . So i stopped . Now I am muted all the time with burst inside . Read success stories and play CoC. This is the most I can write now.
  6. Hello everyone, At age 4 I developed PANDAS (unknown at the time). It was characterised by extreme OCD and comorbid Tourette Syndrome and ADHD. In my teens I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. At age 7 I recieved my diagnoses. At age 8 I was medicated with Paxil. My OCD improved dramatically. I was switched to Zoloft because of anti-cholinergic side-effects experienced with Paxil. I was maintained at 150 mg of Zoloft for several years. I developed worsening akathisia and emotional numbing. At age 15 I developed severe apathy in the absensce of depression. With the help of my mother over the next 3 years I titrated to 2/3 of a 25 mg pill. I could feel the difference between 12.5 and roughly 16 mg of sertraline, and I could not go lower than 16 mg without side-effects. Due to my lower dosage, some emotional range was restored and I fell in love and started what would become a 3-year long-term relationship. At some point I figured I could do without sertraline. I stopped it and did not notice much. Eventually a creeping relapse overtook me with intense obsessive thinking. I started back up on fluoxetine. It caused bruxism and akathisia. I switched to sertraline after realizing this. It caused me to become hugely dysphoric (with superimposed hypomanic features). I got into a fight and broke several bones in my face. I was sent to a psychiatric ward. I found a study that found that fluoxetine caused an increase in diazepam concentrations by as much as 50%. I decided that I was probably undergoing acute benzodiazepine withdrawal, so I requested to be switched to Luvox, which also vastly increases diazepam concentrations. I have a long history with benzodiazepines which I will not expand upon here, except to say that my GP, who is handling my medication, is always pushing me to go faster on my taper. I got him to approve an Ashton schedule, although I think I would do better if he gave some leeway to hold at a dosage for a while so I can adjust. I stabilized within a few days of the change, and my akathisia was relieved (or masked by diazepam?). I left the ward at 100 mg of Luvox. To achieve further reduction in my OCD, Luvox was titrated up to 300 mg by my GP. This again caused emotional numbing and akathisia. I reduced my dose to 200 mg. I sat at this dose for a while, but by accident, or fate, I started missing a few doses here and there. This triggered intense emotion reactions. Life had me hooked. I had an emotional reaction to a song, and I have told myself that I am never going back into no-where land. I am going to decrease my Luvox to 100 mg, as 200 mg leaves me wishy-washy about wanting to taper. I will request my diazepam be increased to 25 mg and hold for 1 month, and then recommence taper. I have taken an SSRI for the vast majority of my life, and I have a question: Here is what I believe to be one of the enigma's of SSRIs. I know that it is true for myself. I hope to see if it is true of others. At the dose of an SSRI required to stave off withdrawal, the desire to get off of the SSRI diminishes. This can shave years of "living" off of your life. On the other hand, if you CT or cut too low too fast, the withdrawal will force you to reinstate. I have also struggled with intense DP/DR at times. It was at its height when it was 24/7 and I felt like "I", (insert my real name, let's pretend Jay) had died. That was the most excruciating time of my entire life, save brief periods of bash-your-head-in-the-wall akathisia after being given an antipsychotic at a psychiatric ward. Thank you so much to anyone who made it to the end of this post, it means a lot, Peace. EDIT: Also, sometimes when experiencing distress I wonder if it is the SSRI or the benzo, withdrawal from either of these, or just normal.
  7. Hi, I have been Remeron since April 2014 reaching a dosage between 37.50-41.25 I also have been on Lamictal since September 2014 reaching a dosage of 200mg. I began a taper of the Remeron with my psychiatrists knowlege, I think at the end of February/March? Hard to remember with my somewhat foggy brain. I am now down to 28.125-tapering at about 10% for each cut. My withdrawal has follwed a specific pattern. I make the cut, feel some nausea but okay, then after about 2-3 weeks have a crash, depression, crying, and anxiety. Then I pop through and move into a more stable period. I think I let myself stabilize for about 10 days and then make another drop. My question is about starting a slow Lamictal withdrawal at the same time. I may be overeacting but when I read about what Lamictal can do to the brain, along with other antidepressants, I want to start the taper now. I do have some professional obligations happening over the next few months but I don't want to stop my progress. I like many others I have read am very impatient about getting off these medictions. They served their purpose to help me after a long stressful period of caretaking-7 years-and then the death of my mom 2 1/2 years ago. Any thoughts or experience about taper from two drugs at the same time. Thanks. Hibari 28.125 Remeron 200mgs Lamictal
  8. My first post here... I have been taking Remeron (Mirtazapine) for 16 years. I tried to come off of it in October, but I weaned too fast and have had problems ever since. I tried to taper off of 15 mg. I ignored my doctor's fast tapering plan and tapered from 15 mg. to 10 mg. The first part of the month was fine, but then a delayed withdrawal hit with horrible symptoms including insomnia. At that point I was only sleeping about 4 hours a night. I reinstated so that I could continue to work... back to 15 mg. In hindsight I realized now I shouldn't have been changing doses so fast. After having reinstated now for about a month, I am still waking up every night in the middle of the night wired! Why??? Could I still be having withdrawal symptoms even after I've been back to my original dose that I was sleeping well on? I want to try to withdraw again, even slower but I don't know how I'll do this if my sleep is already so poor! Thank you!!!
  9. Moderator note: Link to Nikki74's benzo thread: lexapro kindling akasthesia Mirtazipine diazepam Help. i recently stopped lexapro after a short taper from ten to five mg over 9 days. i had been on 20mg since 2011 then tapered quickly in June and stopped. This was a few weeks after stopping pregabalin 150mg v abruptly. all this time I was also on 15mg Mirtazipine. my anxiety went crazy and gp told me to double Mirtazipine dose to 30. I lasted 3 weeks of hellish symptoms and was put on diazepam and Zopiclone. im now off Zopiclone which was tough. 6 weeks ago GP told me to go back to 15mg Mirtazipine and add in 10mg lexapro. This didn't help so now have stopped lexapro three days ago but took 2.5 mg last night as am feeling withdrawal. gp wants me to start tapering diazepam as I'm getting worse akasthesia when it wears off or even a paradoxical reaction to it. i have akasthesia. Insomnia. Severe anxiety. Shaking. Muscle weakness. Obsessive thoughts and suicidal ideation as cannot go on like this. The only brief ride break I get is the 15mg Mirtazipine which calms me for 2-3 hours. How can I go on? i am a single mum and have CFS already for many years. do I stay off the Lexapro now? How do I cope with withdrawals, akasthesia, and tapering diazepam?? I take 7mg a day been on it three months. i can't stop in one place and am smoking (just tobacco) every half hour. i got sober in 2013. this is hell.
  10. Hi folks, First of all I'm new to this site, so feel free to tell me I'm in the wrong area or redirect me.. But here's my story... I currently have what I think is severe anhedonia. Last July, I was a bit depressed (I stress a bit, not majorly).......doctor gave me lexapro 10. After taking this, I vomited on the first night and developed sleep problems. Later in the week, I was given 25 seroquel which apparently would help balance out adverse effects of lexapro.......by the end of the week, I wasn't sleeping and I was suicidal. I subsequently was admitted to hospital. In hospital, I got more and more meds thrown at me and my mid august I was on 125 seroquel, 30 mirtazapine, 20 lexapro, 20 Olanzapine/Zyprexa....My main problem was the medication ripped my stomach apart.....the docs didn't believe me and just gave me more and more meds. I left hospital anyway on the concoction I mentioned.....I spent the following four months on these meds. During those four months, I felt no emotion whatsever, nothing. I felt suicidal, and that I would never recover. I had no desire to do anything. I just stayed in bed until late in the day, even though my sleep did not feel like real sleep. By mid November, i realised that the medication was messing me up, I demanded that I gradually come off everything. On that day, the doctor dropped the mirtazapine, and cut everything else in half. There was a quick taper, maybe too quick, and by christmas eve I was off everything. There were brief windows of emotion during the taper but still 95% anhedonia. Days after I went off everything....I cried for the first time in six months.....days later I laughed for the first time in months... I'm now 6 weeks off everything, I had huge headaches up unitl last week. My stomach started to improve after going off everything and is on the mend. However, I'm still worried about emotions/desires/thoughts etc.....over the last six weeks....I've had maybe 5 occassions where I felt strong positive emotions...and maybe 3 times where I've been sad/angry to the point of proper crying. outside of those 8 occassions, there's still an awful amount of flat feeling, apathy etc... I'm worried and wonder how long or if I will recover at all. Feedback welcome!!
  11. GirlfromD

    GirlfromD: Insomnia

    Hi im new, I will update my storie when I am feeling better than now. At the moment i can't sleep, i fall a sleep in the morning at 7 or 8. the other day i tried to change it by staying awake for 25 hours straight. And i got a little bit of sleep last night. But today im feeling odd, like i haven't slept for 3 days or something, could the insomania return, in that case me staying awake for so long is a total waste of time!? Should i just go with the insomania and sleep when I can not try to force myself into a better sleeping pattern. Please help! And sorry for my English.
  12. Hi Altostrata thank you for this info. I have just discovered these forums and had not heard of the 10% rule until now. I was on mirtzapaine for about a year and got up to a very high dose of 60mg. It did not help me and I should have been taken off it much earlier instead of increasing the dose higher and higher. Over the last few months I've been trying to taper off it by increments of 7.5mg. Since then I've been getting this horrific feeling of being electrocuted just as I'm about to fall asleep, and am punched awake again. It's left me desperately wanting to sleep but afraid of sleep at the same time because that moment when you're about to nod off then ZAP. I reduced my dose lower and lower and towards the end I sped up my tapering rather than slowing it down as I couldn't stand the zaps and just wanted this toxic **** out of my body. It would have been well over 10% of that dose. I had nobody to guide me through this and didn't realise that at lower doses you need to taper extra slow, not faster. I realise I've been showing all the signs of somebody who's extra sensitive to dose reductions. Now my sleep is even worse than before I started taking antidepressants. I have lost the ability to sleep altogether. No matter what I do, I'm awake all night, and am still getting the zaps. I've been feeling so hopeless I want to die. I often have to take sleeping pills to get any sleep at all, but they usually only give me about 3 hours, a little less. I don't want to get hooked on another drug and then go through this nightmare withdrawal thing all over again. I don't know what to do. What would you suggest? Is it worth getting back on it or just trying to ride this out? Have I done permanent damage to my brain? I need help
  13. Hi I'm new here although I have been lurking for a couple months. Long story short, I ended up on Remeron this past February after my brain went 'tilt' and I went into a severe depression brought about by severe insomnia brought about by my body going into perimenopause. I am one of the ones who truly needed medication and I am fortunate that the first med they put me on was successful in curbing the depression. But I've put on over 30 lbs and I am tired of not feeling 'myself' and having no motivation. I started tapering in October. I am now down to 24 mg of Remeron. The only W/D symptoms I've had so far was, twice I was woken up from a sound sleep from early morning cortisol surges. I am doing the 10% of your last dose method that I found on this forum. Only problem is that my scale goes down only to .01 grams instead of .001 grams. I'm hoping my taper goes well enough that I won't need to purchase another scale but I will if it becomes necessary. Today is the first time I feel more 'normal' than I ever have since this whole ordeal started. I actually baked some pumpkin bread. And I actually feel like doing some house cleaning - something that has gone by the wayside since this past February. So I thought I'd post here that way I can kinda keep track and have an anonymous journal of sorts. Thanks to those who have contributed all of the valuable information in this forum. I wouldn't have felt comfortable starting a taper without it. I probably would have asked my Dr. who most likely would have had me taper much too fast.
  14. Starboy17

    Starboy17

    took 1mg finasteride for near 8years albeit, I did take breaks, additionally I lowered the dose and only took it couple times a week, this is known as a maintenance dose. However just over a year ago I decided to take a generic versions of propecia and like a shot of lightening I then noticed mood swings, moments of crying spells, it took a couple months to realise that it wasn't university studies and a personal fallout with a friend (although I bet it contributed) however it wasn't until I completely stopped taking finasteride that I experienced insomnia for the first time in my life! I kept having panic attacks after being asleep for two hours I would wake up gasping for air, I also had close to 15 panic attacks during the day, followed by general anxiety disorder, and a feeling of dread that was unlike anything I've ever experienced, that seemed unbaiting I would have to say hands down it was the worst mental breakdown of my life this lasted for at minimum of three months and progressively got worse. To complicate matters I quit dexamphetamine 30mg a year earlier as I had been naughty on it as I only took it whenever I felt like it for over 3.5 -4yrs unfortunately I have ADHD and still do as an adult, yay lucky me! I also loved alcohol, was often considered the life of the party,(not my own assessment) however I have since decided that I self medicated with it and it only compounded my already fragile mental health, so I'm no longer drinking at all. I discussed the mood swings etc with my GP in Sydney Australia and was given Lexapro tablet (can't recall the dosage) the morning I felt great, by afternoon a sense of dread crept up on me followed by suicide ideation, whilst driving with my partner down the motorway I had intrusive thoughts about crashing my car, anyone who knows me, would agree that is the polar opposite of my personality, in the end I had no choice but to go to emergency the next day after I couldn't sleep and explain my symptoms, I was given 10mg Valium which did nothing except have a paradoxical effect, I felt more lively instead of relaxed I was later discharged and given 30mg of mirtazapine, I'm a small bloke 65kg but Wow that knocked right out of the water. Since April 2016 I've been stuck on mirtazapine. Through the haze that is my mirtazapine experience I knew that the dosage was far too high for me and regularly checked in with my GP and advised him, I've never been on an antidepressant before, only dexamphetime, I told the Dr there's no way i'm taking 30mg of mirtazpine!, he agreed to and I lowered the dose to 15mg although this was still sedating throughout the day along with memory issues, which I never had experienced in my whole life, I've always been a remarkable person for memory so that was really scary for me, eventually I started my own research, why not I'm a tertiary student, thank God I found this site and Dr Joseph Glenmullens book! I even had to take a semester off study and reduced to part time. Guess that law degree can wait. I'm currently on 2.8mg of mirtazapine and can't wait to be off this, however through painful experience the withdrawals are debilitating and that's putting it kindly, I saw a Psychiatrist last month and he mentioned that I must be ultra sensitive, I'm reminding myself regularly that I'm strong and that every day i'm healing and everyday I'm getting stronger. I'm not one for mantra's but this does actually help Sorry Alto if I raved on or if I didn't put this post in the right place, I've been reading and following your advice for months, quite studiously I will add and been wanting to post my experience so badly but have been so incapacitated by all that I've experienced over the last year. So days I feel I'm holding for dear life, the tapering can be so demoralizing at times and then out of nowhere I get tiny glimpses of gaining my old sense of self again, there's so much more I want to say but for now, i'm amazed I've been able to type what I have. Peace
  15. Since my Intro thread seems to have disappeared, this is my new one... What led me to this world of AD's and Benzos was a panic disorder, more than 10 years ago. And the PD was triggered by anxiety and depression. I'm not sure even by these days if that anxiety brought depression, if depression brought anxiety, or both came at same time. But my better guess is that anxiety showed up first and triggered all the rest. Anyway, after many drugs taken such as Paroxetine, Venlafaxine (both caused me severe adverse reactions), Moclobemide, Mirtazapine, Alprazolam, Midazolam, Mexazolam, Diazepam, you name it, eventually I could stabilize with Escitalopram and Ethyl Loflazepate. Two years ago I started to take Mirtazapine to helps me sleep. I had some problems at work and my sleep was affected. Last November, due some problems (also in my job, but there was more...) I started to feeling more anxious and I can´t sleep...and the whole thing started again. I took Levomepromazine to helps me sleep and my former Psychiatrist told me to stop Mirtazapine. Didn´t work since I felt numb all day long. So I came back to Mirtazapine and started to take Clonazepam. When I knew this site I still tried to drop off Clonazepam, but it was very thoug. However, I already reduced Clonazepam from 2 mg to 1.6 mg as well Escitalopram from 10 mg to 9 mg and now I'm holding, as you can see on my signature. That being said, let me continue with my journal... I´ve been noticed one thing, first I didn´t pay attention but now I thought it could be interesting: in the morning I feel more depressed, with all regrets I have, all intrusive thoughts, stuff like that... Later in the day I start to feel better, despite becoming a little bit more anxious since about 5 p.m until I take Clonazepam at night (as discussed on my benzo thread). Let´s say, my best time in day is in the range 1 p.m - 5 p.m. and the mornings always are more complicated. When I just awake all seems to be hard... Is there any explanation for this?
  16. Diehard

    Diehard: tapering

    Hello I am a 70 year old male! After 20 long years on Paxil 20mg and 3 years of Mirtazapine 15mg, for Dysthymia, I feel the need to start weaning off one of them, but which one? On comparing common side effects it appears the Mirtazapine could be the gremlin. It was prescribed to help me sleep but I still struggle so what's the point! I take both meds after my dinner at 7pm, but continue to snack till midnight. I feel emotionally and physically flat with all artistic passion out the window. I'm hoping my body would be better coping with just one poison! Any advice would be gratefully appreciated!
  17. Hi, I started my tapering journey from mirtazapine, which I've taken for almost eight years, on mid January of this year. After reducing to 25% and feeling awful for two days I found on the internet that 10% is what people recommend reducing. Tried a 10% reduction and after two weeks depression and anxiety manifested and went back up to 100% for a day. I'm on a 5% percent reduction and AM very happy to Say that WD symptoms now practically have disappeared. My current challenge is during PMS. Even with taking a full dose, PMS has been challenging. WD symptoms appear (a wave) and I find that taking one 100% dose makes me get back on track. Has anybody dealt with PMS and WD symptoms? I want to thank Altostrata and all the people who collaborate to keep us informed. I'm learning a lot from this forum and hope to keep learning and finding hope for this journey.
  18. Peculiar

    Peculiar

    Thank you for accepting me to your forum.I am about to start a taper off mirtazapine . I have been taking it for 7 weeks. I had previously been tapering Prozac every other day 40mgs for one week then reducing to 20mgs every other day for two weeks. Then I started Mirtazapine 15mgs for two weeks then upped it to 30mgs a day. I dropped the Prozac completely 2 weeks into the Mirtazipine (on my drs instruction) so needless to say I am in a bit of a state! I need to get off the Mirt and then am thinking about taking Prozac again and commencing a slow steady taper. I am not sure what to say to my Doctor?
  19. Hi everyone, I've been on and off a slew of drugs since having depression starting in March 2016. I'm in the U.K. so was treated by our NHS who initially put me on mirtazapine then when that didn't work they introduced me to prozac at 25mg and my anxiety went sky high. I'd been on and off prozac several times in the last 20 years but the reaction was horrific. To calm me down they put me on Diazepam at 15mg until I became so ill I was hospitalised for 2 weeks in May 2016. Prozac was withdrawn and replaced by Escitalopram which gave me the same severe reaction. To counter this I was put on Lyrica at 300mg and within 10 weeks became suicidal so I've just finished a taper from lyrica and am still suffering withdrawals after 8 weeks off the med. To try and counter my increasing depression lofepramine was prescribed along with Quetiapine at 150mg. The lofepramine did nothing so I tapered off of that but the quetiapine was kept in place by my shrink. My Lyrrica withdrawal was painful and my shrink added Dosulepin as an A/D. All this time I was kept on diazepam. I'm now trying to untangle this mess and am suffering badly with depression and anxiety and none of my medication appears to be helping. I've made the decision to get off of as many meds as I can and am unsure of the order in which to reduce them. I feel I've been the victim of psychiatry and any advice would be appreciated.
  20. How I taper Mirtzapine: I put my Mirtzapine pill in 300mL's of water. After it dissolves, I shake it up and use an oral syringe to pull some water out and discard it. Pulling out 1mL more each night means the taper will take 300 days.
  21. Hi, I hope to be a regular contributor. Here is a bit of background: Throughout high school I was mildly depressed and anxious, which turned into a pretty horrible social anxiety and moderate depression in first year of university. Eventually I left school and was pretty depressed for eight months. I started Paxil when I was nearly 20 in 11/06 and immediately my anxiety and depression seemed to vanish. I returned to school and withdrew my Paxil six months later with no noticeable withdrawal. Two and a half years later when I was 22 I began experiencing some horrible anxiety triggering some gastro issues. I took one dose of Paxil and woke up that night with some sort of terrible panic attack. I ceased taking the Paxil but the panic attacks (flu-like symptoms) continued and lasted hours at a time. I feared that I was dying. Eventually I was hospitalized and put on Cipralex and Olanzapine. My anxiety eventually halted and the Cipralex gave me more energy and motivation than I typically have. Eventually I was labelled bipolar ii because of the initial but short lasting activating effects that some antidepressants have in me. The Cipralex pooped out in three weeks and I was polydrugged for the next four years, including two more hospitalizations in that first year for depression. Eventually my mood and anxiety stabilized for two years on Cymbalta, lithium, and Alertec; however, the fatigue was unbearable. In 08/13 I came off Cymbalta and my mood started to deteriorate (I probably experienced about a month of withdrawal syndrome including insomnia, irritability, brain zaps, and flu-like symptoms). After more polydrugging, I decided that the drugs may be making things worse. At nearly age 27, I came off of Pristiq and lithium. Pristiq brought on a similar syndrome as Cymbalta. I came off of both antidepressants too quickly, however, usually in a matter of a month. I also came off of lithium way too quickly, in about six weeks. As I was coming off lithium I began to feel normal again for the first time in four and a half years. About three weeks after my last lithium dose (02/14) I woke up vomiting. I then had severe anxiety for a couple of days but it lifted in a week. It was replaced by a mild or moderate depression that was, for the most part, quite manageable. I was actually hopeful, had normal energy for the first time in years, and beginning meditation and psychotherapy and thought I might recover. Unfortunately, some bad life events happened: there was conflict in the house that I live in and I ended up living on my own for a while (not a good thing). Worse, however, is that I injured by back. It remains injured and I am now getting some tests done to try and figure out what is wrong with it. I can't walk more than five minutes without it getting quite achey and knotty. Eventually this bodily stress had me thinking thoughts that I was dying again and that my back will never heal. This lead to me to being in a constant state of panic. I was losing lots of weight and my body had been in panic mode for nearly a week. I was terrified. I went to a community crisis centre who I thought might help me without psych drugs -- but they basically told me to go get drugs. I ended up hospitalized (06/14) and was immediately put on mirtazapine and then Lyrica. A few days later the anxiety left and I entered the most severe depression of my life: it was incredibly painful, I could barely move, my voice had no emotion, and I was asking my parents to kill me. The depression would occasionally lift at nighttime and I would be normal again. The depression lifted one morning and was replaced by a depressive/anxious hellish state that did not lift in the evening. Defeated, uncertain how the pain would go away, and pressured by my nurses and my psychiatrist, I upped everything and began lithium again albeit at a lower dose: mirtazapine 30mg, Lyrica 100mg, lithium 600mg. I was discharged from the hospital last week. I feel incredibly discouraged. Before I found this site (and the 10% rule) I tapered 25mg off of Lyrica so that now the Lyrica fog is much more bearable during the day. My biggest questions at this point are: after tapering off of drugs or during the taper for some people, how does one deal with severe panic anxiety or with severe, profoundly painful depression? I am beginning to browse these forums looking for these answers. I fear that there may not be answers and that people just ride through it which takes a lot of courage. I tried to ride out depressions when I was younger but they it went on for over a year and a half before I took Paxil. It is especially challenging as I live in Toronto and I cannot find much support here for tapering off of psych drugs or for dealing with a crisis that comes during or post taper. I am in the process of finding a new psychiatrist, which is quite difficult, as my psychiatrist is as biology-based as possible (he wanted me to have shock therapy in December which is partly why I came off drugs around then as I realized he didn't know what he was doing.) Unfortunately, I still had to see him when I was recently in hospital, which is another trigger. I just never imagined I would be back on psych drugs. The injury to my back is also depressing me. I've gone from hopeful to hopeless in a matter of months. Right now my anxiety is not too severe and neither is the depression. I've read that Mirt has a habit of pooping out early, which is partly why I think every minute is invaluable in determining tapering and eventual crisis. The crisis pattern for me seems to be severe anxiety followed by depression, then maybe a mixed anxious/depressed state. Anyone with similar experiences, advice, or encouragement? The scariest things for me are how to deal with severe panic anxiety and a physically excruciating depression. Thanks for reading.
  22. Hi I am new to this forum and this is my first post . I am currently on 30mg mirtazapine and 200mg of pregablin , I have been on these mess for about 3 to 4 months . I have just cut my mirtazapine from 30mg to 15mg and in the space of 4 days I have have horrible side effects , anxiety through the roof , shaking , lack of appetite poor sleep crying spells and the general feeling of feeling crap . The reason I have started to withdraw from the mirtazapine is that after 3 months I feel no benefit only get awfull side effects . No help with my anxiety and depression if anything it's made me more depressed . I have gone through withdrawing from Effexor and that was really tough , however just the drop for a few days of the mirtazapine has left me crushed , my doctor told me that mirtazapine was a easy drug to withdraw from , but after 4 days it has left me house bound . Has anyone got any idea on how I get through this or any experience in mirtazapine withdrawals
  23. Hi everyone, I'm free of drugs for 10 monthes now. Withdrawal has been very difficult. I followed my psychiatrist instructions october 2014 : 150 mg venlafaxin + 30 mg mirtazapine : mirtazapine reduce to 15 mg November 2014 : mirtazapine stopped. Symptoms : I felt quite nervous, sometines crying about nothing but it disappeared within a week. December 2014 : 150 mg venlafaxin reduced to 75 mg. Symptoms : return of my libido (great ! ).. but this lasted only 15 days January 2015 : 75 mg venlafaxin 1 day and nothing the other day. Symptoms : short term memory problems, reduced ability to keep focus on my job. Increased appetite ( ). Sensitive to stress at work. Brain zaps and headache that disappeared within 2 weeks. February 2015 : drop down to 37,5 mg venlafaxin. Symptoms : the precedent, but increased problems of focus, increased sensitivity to noise, felt very irritable, brain zaps again as well as headache but disappeared within 3 weeks. March 2015 : drop to 0... nightmare ! So back to 37,5 mg after 7 days... April 2015 : start a drop down but more slowly : 37,5 mg to 27,5 mg. Same symptomes as previously. May 2015 : down to 17,5 mg Same symptombs as previously. June 2015 : down to 7,5 mg July 2015 : down to 0 mg. Symptoms : very irritable, flu-like symptoms and fever, diarrhea, mood swings : happy then crying about nothing 5 minutes later for no reason, anger crisis (I destroyed a door by punching it), brain zaps, headache, sensitivity to noise and light... it lasted 4 weeks before getting better. September 2015 : felt better but when back to work (I'm a teacher) : anxiety, irritability. I had a panic attack. My GP adviced me to rest and I stayed at home for 1 month. After that : felt much better. Could sport again. Happy because no more muscle and joint pain (that came with the medication and force me to stop my hobby : violin player and horse riding). I was very happy to be able to play violin again. But started to have migraine from time to time. Then a strange feeling with the muscle of my face : just like if my face became heavier and tended to "dangle" But then everything went wrong : mid january 2016 I was given a medication for my stomach, a proton pump inhibitor, to cure an antibiotics induced gastritis. I did not understand what happens but I was strucked by a deluge of severa symptoms : severe anxiety which turned into panic attacks, fever, tremors, extreme weakness, tingling in hands and feet, instable blood pressure, heart arythmia, abdominal pain and diarrhea, stomach pain, pain in the chest, shortness of breath, weight loss (10 pounds within a month), tons of gaz, excessive burping, reflux (that I did not have prior taking this drug)...I thought I was having a heart attack and went to ER but ECG was normal. Those symptoms has been described by some people who were given the same drug but my doctor don't believe me and say I'm depressed . It appeared that I have now gastroparesis (stomach which won't empty quickly enough) Now (march 2016) it's been more than a month that I'm unable to work. My mood is not depressed but I still feel very week, have arrythmia, muscle fasciculations, tinnitus, headache and strange feeling with the muscle of my face that seems to be "weak". Now I'm just wondering if the withdrawal could cause autonomous system disorders. I could read SSRI withdrawal do cause imbalance in sympathic vs parasympathic system. Don't really know what to do. My psychiatrist said I need to restart venlafaxin and add a medication for bipolar disorders (because of my mood swings). I believe I'm not bipolar : I never feel high. I just feel normal (I can go to school and teach, sport 3 times a weak) or completely disabled by anxiety issues... I tried to introduce the prolonged withdrawal syndrome but he told me it's just nonsense : withdrawal never last more than 4 weeks... which is not at all why I could read according to so many patients records.. I'm lost now and feel like a crap, miserable and alone. Does anyone had a similar bad experience several monthes after stopping SSRI ? (very sorry if english mistakes, it's not my mother language).
  24. I am very glad for all the help I have found on this forum! I am now taking a very small dose of mirtazapine--only 0.28 mg, and I still have bothersome side effects (which are always present) in addition to withdrawal symptoms (which diminish with holds). Has anyone else been unable to stop at such a low dose? I have read that some people can never get off. How will I know if this is true for me?
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