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Found 41 results

  1. Hope?

    Hey everyone, hope you are all well. Well, I just want to pop in and ask something. The last week for me has been rough. I read an article on doctor Healy's site saying that PSSD is most likely permanent and there is no way to tell who's going to get through this or not. I would give everything I have and everything I will have to get my emotions back. All of them. And my ability to feel arousal and pleasure. It's tough because in all the cases of recovery I've read online, they reported frequent windows of improvement that increased with strength each time. Well, as for me I never had a full window of being back to normal. I've had flashes of feeling (last night my heart speed up a bit while looking at an ex's page and it lasted a few seconds) and slight arousal throughout the last 3 years (although one night in 2014, just after I quit the SSRIs, I remember waking up really aroused one night). But other than that one time over 3 years ago, my arousal has never returned to even half of how it used to be. I also noticed that many people who recovered tapered, as opposed to quitting suddenly. Are there any cold turkey recoveries out there? I feel like I'm stuck in hell. My brain wants sex, but my body doesn't commute. Nothing stirs. I want to be positive, but I cant even imagine being restored to normal again. I just need to rant here, sorry if I bum anyone out. I really dont want to. Who here has recovered or improved significantly without experiencing windows for the first few years? I want to be whole again. I feel like I've lost so much. Even my faith. Now I'm dark and broody. I used to be so vibrant, emotional, and excitable. I feel so hollow now and I want the silence inside to stop. It's hard to hope when there are 1000s of people online saying that it's more than likely forever. I'm in my early 20s. I want to be able to relate to other people when they talk about sex. I want to laugh properly again, to feel it in my gut. And I want to love fully and not just flashes of unrequited 'like' here and there. I want to feel joy and I want to be excited.
  2. Hi everyone, just wanted to share my story (and hopefully my eventual recovery). I am 20 years old, and was 19 when I started on 50mg of Sertraline I was prescribed it in Feb 2015 for social anxiety and took it for a month. Quit cold turkey because I felt pretty depersonalised, and cause of the sexual side effects. All of my symptoms came on during my time on the drug or shortly afterwards. They are: Dulling of emotion/Anhedonia - Have felt sadness a few times, and anger a few times. No joy, no passion, maybe some flashes of love but that's it. Unable to relate to characters in books/TV. Dimunition of visual imagination - I used to daydream constantly prior to taking the drug. Since cold turkeying the pictures in my mind are very blurred and I am no longer able to daydream. Loss of creativity - Before the drug I used to read a lot, and when I read I always felt like ideas were constantly popping into my brain. Since I stopped medication this no longer happens. I feel like I am reading the words on the page very superficially.. Physical numbness in brain - Feels like there's a great pressure in the frontal lobe of my head, almost like it is torn (but there is no pain) PSSD - No libido, anorgasmia, difficulty getting and maintaining erections (too much information but I want to be thorough here) No fatigue behind eyes - this one isn't necessarily negative, but since stopping the drug my eyes never get tired regardless of how much time I spend using screens or reading. Possible other symptoms that could be unrelated: Muscle twinges (very mild), worsening of eyesight (20/20 vision pre medication), urine delay (is considerably better now) Improvements - I saw very positive changes when it came to anorgasmia and erections around 6 months into my withdrawal. Unfortunately it seems like in the past 2 months things have gone back to square one. The physical pressure in my head varies a lot, and is definitely much better than it was at the start of my withdrawal (though it still gets very bad). I couldn't read for the first 6 months of this withdrawal because I got absolutely no enjoyment out of it and that was depressing because I used to love reading prior to the drug. Now I read a bit, and it feels nicer than doing nothing I guess, but seriously if that's an improvement in my anhedonia then it's 0% to 1%, because I still have zero positive emotion. General - I feel hopeless about recovery a lot of the time. I have suicidal thoughts but would never commit suicide because of the effect that would have on my mum. I browse through the forums looking for recovery stories, but it seems like most people who recover haven't had this constant anhedonia, and were in a more turbulent emotional withdrawal. If anyone who is in my position, or anyone who was in my position but recovered, could reply I'd be very grateful. Many thanks, Raven
  3. I'm a 28 year old man from Greece. I am suffering from ssri side effects 8 years now. I think that Imight suffering from withdrawal symptom (or Pssd). I don't know also if there is a difference. I was diagnosed with OCD in 2009 and I was on Prozac from 2009 to 2014 daily on 60mg. On this time interval I have noticed that I had weak erections without paying real attention. But when I I had awful experiences with women where I didn't have enough erections then I realized that the prozac may be the cause. I haven't taken it since 2014. Occassionally I was on zoloft to 20mg (the indicated dose for ocd) but I stopped them gradually. Since April 2017 I am not taking any medication but I have to confess that I have to tackle severe side effects such as erectile dysfunction, muted or inability to orgasm I noticed also impaired seven quality and sometimes the quantity was insufficient (almost zero). I am in a bad situation and I feel regretful for taking these drugs. I preferred to have OCD (or whatever mental illness is this) rather than facing impotence and inability to have children. Has anyone an idea about what am I supposed to do?
  4. I used to take two kind of antidepressants for 2 weeks. Prozac (Fluoxetine 10) and Clomopramine 10. I stopped taking them as soon as I found out they have negative sexual side-effects. It's been 60 days I haven't taken them but my libido is not like it was in the first place before taking them. I am too worried about it. I have been suicidal over it. I have read that it can be a permanent effect which drives me crazy when I think about it. I talked to my doctor but he rudely refused to give me a straight answer since I stopped taking the pills he prescribed me. I talked to other doctors too. They said my libido should have returned in 3 weeks but I can't see any improvements since then. So, my question is, if you have any experience of taking such pills, tell me how long you took them and if your libido returned after stopping taking them or not, if so, how long did you wait till your libido improved completely. Am I suffering from PSSD (Post-SRRI Sexeual Dysfunction)? if so, won't I ever get my libido back? Is there any treatment for this?
  5. SadDoll

    Hiya, I'm Laur I dont know where to start. I'm new, kinda. I've been a lurker on this site on and off since 2015 but I've never joined until now. I'm a 24 year old woman from Ireland who was put on antidepressants when I was 18/19 for OCD, depression and suicidal tendancies. I was first given 20mg of lustral in late 2011 and it didnt affect my sex drive or emotions in any way. I didnt take them everyday though, I forgot a lot of the time. Then in late 2013 I was switched to 150mg of lustral. I dont think I took them every day either until I made an effort to take them regularly only to quit them one day out of the blue cold turkey sometime in early 2014. Stupid, I know. At the time I was constantly either stoned and/or drunk so I wasn't very responsible, to say the least. On top of this, I was binge drinking a lot, a few nights a week, and smoking weed nearly everyday from late 2012- 2016 as well as being constantly dependant on a dangerous recreational drug for about a year in 2013. Oh and I wasnt eating properly, so my nutrition was bad on top of this. Anyway, I haven't touched an antidepressant since Spring of 2014 but I have absolutely no libido to speak of, as well as no pleasure 'down there'. Sex for me feels like nothing at all every single time. No arousal. No sensation. I think maybe once or twice I had some slight sexual feeling with an ex boyfriend sometime last year. But it wasn't anywhere near my sexual function pre PSSD. On top of this, I worry so much that I wont be able to fall in love, that I'm incapable of romantic feeling. This bothers me the most because that has been my fear for about 5 years now. And I read online that antidepressants destroy your romantic feelings forever. I dont know how true that is, but it makes me want to die. Ironically, that is what my OCD focused on. The fear of never falling in love. So the doctors presribed me a higher dose of a new pill. I feel like I'm trapped in my own worst nightmare and I feel anhedonic and dead inside. I'm reluctant to post here as I dont want to make anyone feel hopeless from my story. And I'm afraid of other people's stories making me feel even more hopeless. I'm down in the depths of hell here. I feel empty and broken and incapable of love and feeling anything positive at all. Please, can someone offer me some hope? I feel like the fact that I was on a very high dosage (150mg), constantly high for the best part of 4 years, dependant on alcohol, plus a history of past substance abuse, PLUS the fact that I quit cold turkey means that I dont have any hope of recovering. I cant recall what it feels like to feel aroused and I cant imagine ever getting better. Please no negative comments as I'm very suicidal as it is
  6. Another Sterilising the Mentally Ill Interview

    A New Sterilising the mentally ill Interview! from the Everyday PsychVictims Project.-Leon was kept in hospital for almost 2 years. There is not much space on a cramped ward and they inject the patients with permanently castrating anti-psychotic drugs. Most often forcing people to keep taking the drugs on legal extensions of hospital orders called Community Treatment Orders (CTO's).There is no compensation for those subjected.Also referred to as PSSD
  7. Hi Ive suffered from depression in the past and have been on various antidepressants, been admitted to hospital and had ECT...this was all in the early 90s. In the intervening years I have suffered depression on and off and was happy to take Fluoxetine 20mg, I'm not sure if the Fluoxetine kept the depression at bay or I would have been OK without it, but as I was feeling well I kept taking the Fluoxetine as a prophylactic. During this period I went cold turkey several times for various reasons...I suffered absolutely no withdrawal symptoms at any time...I consider myself very lucky. Ive only just discovered the danger of CT via this website and others. So far so good, but in 2015 I was diagnosed with cancer and endured gruelling chemo and radiotherapy and was given the all clear in April 2016...one line of text...so much pain! After the treatment finished I began to suffer from depression again, a kind of post trauma effect, my doctor recommenced increasing my Fluoxetine to 40mg, which I agreed to. This didnt really make much difference...my doctor then suggested switching to Sertraline 50mg, I agreed and started a very steep tapering to come off the Fluoxetine (one month)...I did actually feel quite well at the end of the taper and did not start taking the Sertraline. However some months later in December 2016 the anxiety and depression became so severe I OKed it with my doctor to start the Sertraline. I took the first tablet and in a very short time I experienced some terrible side effects, dizziness, headache, confusion and a level of anxiety I did not believe was possible, I went to bed for the rest of the day. I knew it would take a while of the side effects to settle, so took the second tablet the next day, again the same effects plus the start of the sexual side effects. I took one more tablet the next day and decided enough was enough and stopped taking the Sertraline…(Just 3 doses!) I assumed the side effects would subside soon after stopping…how wrong I was! Its been 7 months and the effects below are still with me: Tinnitus Cognitive and memory problems Insomnia...1.5 sleep per night PSSD, no libido, poor and difficult to achieve erections, reduced semen volume and a kind of emotional disconnect with the opposite sex. One effect which did remit was the sensation of looking down on myself from above...a very disturbing experience. So here I am in a bit of a mess. I wonder what the best way forward is? I seem to be very sensitive to any drugs or supplements...Ginkgo Biloba and Maca root caused havoc after one dose! Ive tried Acupuncture and Homoeopathy with some limited success...at least nothing negative! Im finding this very difficult emotionally, especially the sexual side of things. Ive been following similar cases here (and the PSSD forum) and there seems to be quite a bit of despair often with the OP just vanishing...I find this worrying. Trying to keep positive Regards
  8. hi everyone, I have been reading posts on this website for a while and decided it's time to join and tell my story. I was diagnosed with Anxiety, depression at 14. I didn't go on meds till about age 19. I first took Paxil for about 6 months when I was severely depressed then stopped because of the side effects. At that time I wasn't taking it regularly or every day so I didn't have or notice any withdrawal symptoms. I started taking wellbutrin around age 24 for about a year or so from what I remember. I stopped that as well because of the side effects. No withdrawal symptoms from what I remember. Then I read about 5htp(5-Hydroxytryptophan) on the internet. Which was what I thought a "natural" anti depressant. I read that 5htp is a replacement for tryptophan which was no longer sold in Canada or US. I took this for about 4 years and took 100mg a few times a week with food. I remember reading somewhere that this should only be taken short term and not long term. But of course I didn't listen. I recently stopped taking 5htp about 2 months ago. Since then I've had some sleeping problems, headaches and pain in my stomach. But nothing too major. However the main reason I am here is because of PSSD(Post-SSRI sexual dysfunction) if that term even applies with 5htp. I first noticed problems last summer when I met a girl. I had problems with getting an erection hard enough for intercourse. I never thought much of it at the time because I didn't really like her too much. However I met someone I did like about 4 months ago and had the same problem with my erections. I also had problems getting an erection when I masturbated which started about 4 months ago, and was getting delayed ejaculation, premature ejaculation and loss of feeling which was a real alarm for me. I wasn't too much into porn when I did masturbate before and just used my thoughts(hot women etc) when I did masturbate. But once I started having problems with my erections I started watching porn thinking that it would help. But it didn't really help that much or if anything made it worse. So I went to the doctor got blood work done, urinalysis and check for low testosterone and he said everything was fine, it's just Psychological. Since I stopped taking 5htp 2 months ago and all supplements my erections have improved somewhat and get the "morning wood" on and off but it's still a big challenge. My question to everyone on here is do you think 5htp can be the cause of my sexual dysfunctions? I've read posts from other members that have had pssd but again that was from taking prescribed anti-depressents and not 5htp? Sorry for the long read and I hope this was the right place to post this. I don't know what else to do. Thank you all for reading.
  9. Hello, After a couple of months of reading some of the posts on this forum, I have decided to join, because basically it seems that I have PSSD. As you will see from my signature strip, I have been on escitalopram at various doses for just over 7 years (finally came off in January of this year (2017)). My history on this drug probably looks a bit confusing. Basically I went on the drug late in 2009 for anxiety that I was suffering. I only intended to be on it for a short time – maybe 6 months – whilst I made some important decisions about my future. But my doctor at that time provided no guidance on coming off the drug. I came off very quickly and crashed. It basically took me about 3 attempts like this to finally realise I could not come off it quickly. In the end it has been a long and slow process with some bumps along the way, but finally I am off the drug – but it took 7 years. I am male and now in my mid-thirties. Anyway, whilst on the drug I suffered from sexual side effects, which from what I have read is very common. But it was in late 2013 that I found out just how much the drug was affecting me. I started a relationship with a girl who although I liked much, I could feel no deep emotion with. Basically I could not fall in love with her. At first I could not understand what was wrong with me, but one day shortly into our relationship I suspected the drug. After a simple ‘Google search’ I had the answer. This combined with the sexual side effects of the drug just made it impossible for me really and in early 2014 we split up. It was at this point that I realised no matter what, I had to get off the drug. It took 2 further attempts of slow tapering but finally I have managed it. I am now almost 5 months off the drug, but seems I have PSSD. At the end of December 2016 I reduced from 10mg every other day to just 5mg every third day. A few days after doing this I could feel something changing sexually – more normal feeling was coming back. And about a week later I had a couple of days of what I would say was completely normal function returning. However this only lasted a couple of days. Shortly after this I took the last tablet. I was now off the drug. About 2 weeks later I once again had a couple of days of everything returning to normal sexually. Again this only lasted temporarily. Then a period of 3 weeks of the numbness and erection difficulties. Then - 5 weeks after taking the last tablet - I again had a period of 2 days of normal functioning – this time I thought it was going to be for good, but unfortunately not. And that was the last time I experienced what I consider everything being normal. Since then I have returned to the numbness, lack of drive and erection difficulties that I had whilst on the drug. I have had the odd day or two in recent weeks where the numbness reduces a bit and there is a little bit of sensitivity, but only a very tiny improvement for a day or so. Then back to full numbness. Also I have developed a ache/pain in my testicles that radiates at times into the top of my legs and buttocks. I can’t remember exactly when this started but I think it was around 6 weeks after being off the drug. I also feel emotionally flat – I don’t think I could fall in love with somebody. I think that issue is still there. I can cry at times, but can’t feel any real happiness for anything. I guess like so many people here I feel the most desperate I have ever done in my life and just looking to talk with others in a similar situation. These past months have seemed like an eternity and every day is such a struggle. I am hoping somebody can give me some hope, because right now I can’t feel much of it. Also I do have a few questions which if anybody can give some sort of an answer to I would be so grateful. 1) Why did I have 3 separate periods of normal sexual function in the immediate period of coming off the drug (first 5 weeks) and then nothing further? 2) the ache/pain that I feel in the testicles – is this part of PSSD? 3) one of the things that really worries me is the fact that I noticed a change to my sexual function after taking just one tablet (God only knows why I did not stop taking them there and then) but as I only planned to be on the medication for a short time, it did not bother me too much. Does this immediate reaction to the drug combined with my long-term use of it mean it more likely my recovery will be a very long time, or worse still that I never recover? Thanks very much for reading.
  10. Hello everyone, this is my introduction. I was prescribed an SSRI. Yes I know it makes you feel worse before you feel better but I felt terrible so after a few days I gave up on it . Over the next two weeks I felt worse and decided to start it again as I was having panic attacks, something I had never experienced in my life. I again felt really bad. I couldn’t get out of bed, not that lying in bed made me feel any better, I just couldn’t let anyone else in the house see me in such a state. It was after about a week that, yes, you’ve guessed it, PSSD. I had religiously read the information leaflet in the packet and saw that this could occur but not that it could continue after you've stopped. It was then that I searched online and discovered PSSD. I was horrified. I had never been warned of this. After 10 days I stopped again. I then hoped and prayed that all my functioning would return. After about ten days of stopping I was feeling particularly bad. I have all the classic symptons of PSSD. My anxiety and depression has gone through the roof. Lately I feel absolutely exhausted and depressed in the mornings. There is no way in the world I would of touched SSRI’s had I known the possible consequences. I am determined to beat this and get back to the happy man I once was. The impact of this condition on me is immense. I have found these forums a great help. I’m looking for any support out there as at this rate I’ll end up back on antidepressants for which I’ve now got a phobia. I’m also looking to support anyone else where I can and keep a record of my progress.
  11. Hi everyone! I'm new here, I'm an 18 year old girl, will be 19 soon, and I took Zoloft from when I was about 16 and a half to when I was just about 17, so a year and 4 months. I've been clean of the poison since August 28th, 2016, so ten and a half months now. Since I don't think the drugs were good for me to be on to begin with because they caused a whole host of strange behaviors and feelings, like sedation and mania at times, as well as periods of complete apathy and feeling sick, not to mention the sexual problems, I decided to get off of them. Here's how things went: Felt better when initially coming off Zoloft. Much better. Perhaps more negative, but more energy, felt more normal, looked better, etc. Less headaches and other side effects. Happier...almost manic sorta. Sex drive increase and no problems with prolactin overloads. Continued like this (with adaptogenic herb, B6, inositol, and other supplementation) until December 2016. Sometimes wanted to "crawl out of my skin" also and getting more frustrated when my best friend wouldn't call me, less worried about what he thought. December 2016, my life crashed. My best friend and I had a falling out and he was distant for a while. Worst depression I have EVER felt for 2 weeks straight. I was stuck in my body, it was the worst feeling I have ever EVER had, profound depression, profound pain, I could not deal with it..so incredibly horrible. Definitely would not have been nearly as bad if I weren't only 4 months off Zoloft. Probably wouldn't have been bad at all if I were still on Zoloft..scary. Extreme disconnection from the body. This scared me because the issue was generally pretty mild--a friend being distant. The fact that it caused such a terrible horrible depression made me realize how hard this journey was going to be for me...my ability to handle stress and emotions have been greatly diminished. January--February were blahhh. He texted me again, didn't switch schools, we were friends. I also started taking tryptophan for serotonin deficiencies and the pain went away but the horror of what had happened still lingered and left me exhausted and terrified of another episode. I felt extremely out of control of myself and my life. Never would have felt this way on zoloft. March was terrible. He ignored me again, again intense anxiety, worse than I could possibly describe. Literally horror. Started taking ashwaghanda which, along with him reconnecting with me, made April and May more bearable. Sometimes felt GOOD in those two months..other times not, but it was really not horrible. A couple periods of intense pain, usually from relationship stress, but I recovered when things went back to normal. June..was fine. I'm living. In college now. Was pretty intent on committing suicide a couple of days ago..thoroughly convinced myself that I would do it and that I need to do it. Didn't do it. Probably won't this week. Can't take the unbearable social pain any longer though..it's putting a hole in my heart. I refuse to go back on those meds. Ever. They're awful and they still are affecting my sex drive..PSSD is there. Realizing that I'm at the end of adolescence and never had a true, hormonal, exciting sexual experience and the ability to experience that kind of thing will go away when teenage hormones go away. I may never be normal again. I'm incredibly upset and worried and cursing myself for taking those pills. Also feel really alone because nobody understands and I can't talk to anyone about it. If I weren't in a fine mood, I'd be ready to pull the friggin plug. All of my sexual experiences are awkward and bad, make guys feel like rapists, never result in orgasm, always lose excitement once any touching of the genitals is involved, and end up very VERY bad. Masturbation is 100X better but it still takes longer and isn't as easy to cum.. I feel hopeless and screwed, scared and worried. The same mechanism affects your ability to fall in love..I need hope. When will these things get better? Note: One thing I can say is the intense feeling of being disconnected from my body or wanting to crawl out of my skin has gotten better, which makes me realize that my brain is normalizing itself. I'm just worried that things will never be the same again, because of receptor problems or permanent brain damage, especially in the sexual department... Help?
  12. See journal articles about PSSD in Papers about Post-SSRI Sexual Disorder (PSSD) Please note that SurvivingAntidepressants is a site for tapering and recovery from withdrawal syndrome. While we see PSSD sometimes as an aspect of withdrawal syndrome (and we see gradual recovery from it as well as withdrawal syndrome), this site is not specifically for discussion of treatment of PSSD or its neurological origins (which at this time are highly speculative). If you wish to discuss symptoms, theories, and treatment of PSSD, please go to these sites: PSSDforum http://www.pssdforum.com/ Yahoo group SSRIsex (log in to http://Yahoo.com to join) Various pages on Rxisk.org
  13. PSSD chemically castrating another 'mental patient' interview Ali from Denmark was castrated for life at the tender age of 21 with 'psychiatric' castrating drugs known as 'antipsychotics' and 'antidepressants', when he was imprisoned by the standard pseudo-scientific mock trials of the fascist 'mental health' industrial-complex. At the behest of his family and his government.He managed to free himself, but has found out the eugenic drugs of the state carry permanent harms. Ali hopes to return to university maybe.
  14. PSSD Woke Up With Numb Genitals From Hospitalization Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction. Christian was unsuspectingly given PSSD from forced treatment and imprisonment at 'the mental hospital' from 'antipsychotics'. A regular occurring not spoken about, human rights abuse. At 22 years old, this has ruined his life. He has no legal rights. Amnesty International 'Don't do mental health'.
  15. Sterilized when Young in UK by Psych Drugs

    I was interviewed on the everyday psychvictims project. Share if you care.
  16. Hello everybody i am 22 years old male i am sorry about my English it is not my mother language i have taken Luvox for about two years not continuously the highest dose i had is 250 my Symptoms i have no arousal , weak Erection i get Erection when i watch porn , i have no penis sensitivity , and my big problem is that i have to get married soon and that is my final chance to get married , can any body who has pssd get married ?? i did not say that i have stopped ssri before two years without improvements on my Symptoms i have heard about many drugs that may care pssd i remember buspirone , betahnecol , cyproheptadine and mianserin i did not try any of them i want your advice any body try any of them ? and what was the result ? and what about marriage can i do that ?
  17. Hello all Forgive me if this should have been an intro topic, I couldn't decide whether to post it on the intro forum or here. This mainly focusses on my PSSD, one of the last parts of my withdrawal to abate, but I will eventually post a broader story that covers all aspects of my withdrawal success. This was originally posted by me on PP about a week ago - I had just joined, and then it was shut down. TheAutomator's PSSD Recovery Story: Hello all. I’ve always been a lurker on various forums, but never one to make a post. However, I feel that I owe it to everyone going through the same things I have been, to share this story. I took Lexapro, followed by Zoloft, for about 8 months in total, back in 2011-2012. I was 24 at the time, and had always had a raging sex drive. Not to give you waaaay too much information here, but I easily masturbated 3 times a day, every day! The most subtle of sexual thoughts could put me into heat. My sex drive was a strong part of my identity, and I never imagined anything could temper it. Well, as the familiar story goes, within a few weeks of starting on SSRI’s (for long standing issues with depression and a new job in a horribly toxic environment), My sex drive began to fade (amongst a whole host of other side effects). Physical sensation was significantly diminished, and the ability to have or maintain an erection was marginal at best. It was entirely impossible without direct physical stimulation as well. Orgasms felt like almost nothing. In my mind I was still sexual, but my body no longer functioned. It was hell. After 8 months, I quit over a 1-2 week period. Lexapro had crapped out, and Zoloft was now doing the same. The side effects (including the one in question here) were too much. I had tried various other ADs before starting these two meds to no avail, or with serious side effects. I decided I was finished with meds. The next 6 months were emotional hell. I slipped for a week and started Zoloft again, but quit promptly. Months passed and my sex drive wasn’t coming back. After reading about PSSD online, I became terrified, and angry at myself for ever trying these horrible pills. I had flatlined – maybe a 10% improvement since a quit and that was it. A year had passed. I tried every supplement under the sun (as I’m sure many other desperate sufferers have) and soon learned that I was sensitive to many of them, often feeling worse in a variety of ways. I developed a new rule – if it’s not in normal food, I won’t take it. Fish oils yes, Rhodiola no, for example. I tried licorice root once and had the worst two weeks of anxiety and insomnia in my life. I wanted to die. In the end, no supplement really did much for me, with the exception of inositol. Inositol, while doing nothing for physical sensation or arousal, restored my orgasm to pre SSRI levels in a matter of days. It also made me drop the 25 pounds I had gained *after* quitting ADs (with absolutely no change in diet). I had been unable to stop the gain, no matter what I tried, how much I controlled my calories. I had given up. My metabolism was screwed up – another lovely gift care of SSRIs. Inositol has been a god-send here. In the second year I started to experience the “windows” that people talk about. It first started over a weekend. I felt, overnight, almost 75% back to normal in every way (sensation, drive, erections). It was amazing. The sceptic in me feared it wouldn’t last, and he was right. 2 days later I was back to my old new self. Over the year, I had 2 or 3 more such events, lasting up to a week. I felt hope… I wasn’t broken, just malfunctioning. Toward the end of that second year, which is about 3 months ago, I had what I thought was another window. But this time it didn’t really go away. Instead, the entire pattern started to invert. I was mostly functional, but had windows where I’d lose my sex drive for a few days! I was again skeptical the first month, but it has persisted, for 3 months now, and all the while getting better! I quit all my supplements (just to try and figure out if anything was helping and anything wasn’t) and I felt even better! It seems as if some were making matters worse, not better! I now consistently wake up with morning erections every night (I forgot how annoying those can be!), and can become physically aroused without direct contact (just thinking, or with visual stimulation). Women and sex drive me crazy again. I’m not 100% of my old self yet, maybe 80 or 90, but after what I’ve been through, this is heaven. I’ll be sure to return in a few more months for another update. I hope anyone who reads this will keep hanging onto hope. It was the other success stories that I read online that kept me sane. My PSSD lasted longer than I took the freaking SSRIs for, but it eventually started to remit. I think yours will too! It wasn’t a gradual recovery, but a lot of flat-lining, false starts, and eventual rapid change. It’s been like trying to start a car that doesn’t want to crank. A lot of nothing, the occasion where you alllllmost get there, but then the engine goes off again, and then finally that one good turn of the key that gets you over the hill! Keep cranking
  18. Hey Everyone! I'm Ghost, A 19 year old College Sophomore. Some people may recognize me as an Admin from pssdforum.com. I am indeed the same "Ghost". For anyone with enough time, I will link my Intro to that site, which follows some updates throughout the months leading till now (10 since my last pill). http://www.pssdforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=179. Otherwise, I'll leave a shorter version below: Following a period of anxiety last summer I was prescribed 10mg of Escitalpram, 50mg Trazodone, and 1mg Ativan. I fought hard to not take the meds, but when I went away to college I was unable to sleep the first night and I reluctantly took 5mg Escitalopram for 4 days. I stopped because I noticed insomnia, delayed orgasm, loss of sex drive, and genital numbing. I assumed that they would go away after stopping, but it has been 10 months so far without taking the medication, and some symptoms remain. Delayed orgasm cleared up within a few days, and there have been occasional waves slight improvement, but each has been met with PSSD returning. Most of the improvements have been brought on by taking something for PSSD. (Zinc, St. John's Wort, Curcumin...I've tried a lot). I always had a really high sex drive, and now I'd say that It's lower than average. Maybe 75% of what it once was. I'd also say that my genitals are about 20% numb. I can't tell for sure/ remember exactly what it was like before. My entire skin feels slightly numbed. Even scarier is the feelings of being emotionally dulled, although this has seemingly improved a bit with time. I currently am in a relationship that makes me quite happy. She's the best, and I feel awful that I can't always feel emotion for her, and that I still have sexual problems. But when I do feel love for her in a window...damn it's strong. I found this all extremely devastating at first. I cried every day, and hated myself every second. I woke up every morning feeling like I had gotten no good sleep. I was always tired. Another thing that Escitalopram left me with was severe depression. I never had that before the drug. It also destroyed my anxiety, which has luckily never came back like it did before Lexapro. These were the darkest days of my life. It's why I call myself "Ghost" online. I literally felt like a shadow of my old self. Luckily I am feeling a bit better now, although I miss my old self dearly. This whole thing has taught me a lot. I am a pre-med student that is very involved with the chemistry of PSSD/ AD withdrawal. I hope to someday become a doctor that is aware of the dangers of these drugs. I really love helping people. I'm extremely devoted to my recovery. I care about other people struggling with this, and that's why I joined this forum. It seems like a great community, and one that has a different viewpoint than the one that I help lead. I like keeping my mind open, and learning new ways to get back to being the old me. I hope to meet some friends along the way, Ghost
  19. A produced video explaining how child psychiatry has cured me, not:
  20. Hey there. This is my first post, but I have a success story that I’d like to share. I’d like to preface by saying I had been on 75mg of sertraline (Zoloft) for approximately 7 months. I quit last year and have successfully made it through the withdrawals! I see more horror stories than success stories on SSRI discontinuation. My hypothesis for this discrepancy is that people who successfully quit the drug don’t really have that much of an incentive to post their stories, while people dealing with the terrible side effects are more likely to seek out information. I knew there were millions of people on SSRIs, and I refused to believe that my discontinuation symptoms would be permanent. Of course, there are always exceptions, but I found out quickly how unhealthy it was to hold this mentality of permanence. I tapered off a too quickly (~2 weeks). I believed that since I had only been on the medication for a few months, I could get away with tapering off at that rate. Consequently, I ended up having over 6 weeks of hellish withdrawals. The first 2 weeks had the most powerful physical symptoms: brain zaps, fatigue, nausea, etc. These symptoms seemed to go away around week 3, but then came another wave of symptoms: anxiety, paranoia, depression, and a lot of overthinking. I didn’t realize it till week 5, but these feelings were more powerful than when I had them before starting sertraline. Week 5 was the worst; all these terrible feelings went into overdrive. I remember a few specific days of this week were particularly dreadful. I had been reading up on SSRI discontinuation online and freaking myself out reading people’s horror stories. I was afraid that I permanently removed what it was to be human. I was terrified I’d never feel joy, sexual desire, or ambition in my life ever again. I was angry at myself that my choice to try anti-depressants fucked up the rest of my life. I was broken, and I just wanted to be normal again. These are unhealthy thoughts, and I was wrong. My life did start coming back. I slowly felt what it was like to be “me” again. Small steps every day reminded me. One day something would make me laugh. Another day I’d notice a cute girl. I appreciated and cherished every step throughout the way. And slowly but surely, old joys started coming back to me: I started feeling ambition, I was looking forward to future plans, I was dreaming again (I could sleep well again!), and I was feeling love again, both for myself and others. I believe there is a strong psychosomatic component during these withdrawals. It’s difficult because your brain doesn’t allow you get past these negative thoughts while its readjusting, but you have to keep moving. There isn’t a quick solution, but your brain is powerful and adjusts to your current circumstances. That’s why exercise, a healthy diet, a support network, and a positive outlook are so important; you want your brain to re-adjust in an ideal setting. So, don’t blame yourself or hold a grudge for trying SSRIs; you actively did something to confront your inner demons. From one stranger to another, you will survive this. Good luck.
  21. I am new to this board. I'm 24 years old now. I took Zoloft for 5 years or so - it seemed to help my depression - then eventually quit after some off and on stuff. I was given no warning whatsoever about withdrawal side effects (or any negative side effects) when the doctor prescribed it or else I would've never taken it. Starting around six months after I quit, I woke up one day in early December of 2015 with no libido (after a very healthy libido for all of my years) and very little feeling down there. It happened almost overnight. This bothered me tremendously and I went through a series of tests and online researching to see what the problem was, but only until about six months ago and no help from the tests did I begin to realize that this was probably related to zoloft/pssd, which I had initially dismissed because it started so long after I had quit. It occurred to me because I realized how unfeeling I have become emotionally. I accidentally and unintentionally offended a good friend of mine, who despite my efforts at reconciliation renounced our friendship and has never spoken to me since. I noticed when this happened that I didn't seem to care much despite the fact that he'd been my good friend for a few years now, which astonished me. I thought I cared, but I didn't feel sad. I felt almost nothing. I knew something was wrong. When I realized this, I began to notice it in other areas too, like I wasn't happy when I should've been and had no depth of feeling. Since I had lost my libido, I have become almost entirely food-oriented as that is the only thing that gives me any real pleasure in life, something which I just finally consciously realized about six months ago. Things that used to give me joy now give me very little joy. I don't feel sad, or angry. I feel nothing, except a burning desire to feel something/anything. I feel like I'm completely numb, sexually and emotionally. It's extremely difficult for someone who is supposed to be finishing up his last semester in college (and an utterly unfair handicap on my efforts), and these last few weeks I've really started to despair. Up until this point I've always striven to look at the positive and to be optimistic, but I have woken up day after day for the last 15 months longing for an emotional or even sensual experience and it hasn't come. From what I've read it seems like the FDA and big pharma have left me/us for dead - damn them both - with little research going into treatment to help people like us. What is the doctor going to tell me? I can't continue to live this way. What this is, what I am, this is not living. It's been 15 months since these withdrawal symptoms started and I've seen no improvement, sexually or emotionally. This is supposed to be my prime, but instead I'm just a numb zombie. Sure, I think it's unfair that my sexuality was stolen away from me one morning and that's extremely frustrating but really I just want my emotions and my depth of feeling back. I simply and absolutely refuse to live the next 60 years of my life like some livestock animal who's only purpose and pleasure in life is eating. When I realized that zoloft was the problem, I vowed to never to touch the stuff again in hopes that I'd recover. But that's not happening, at least not 15 months in. So that leaves me wondering... despite it all, would it be worth it to just take the damn drug again? Of course I hate the idea of being dependent on it for the rest of my life, but has anyone ever got back into it? Did your libido and emotions come back? If my options are 1. continue living like this for the rest of my life (which really isn't living at all and wouldn't seem to be worth it) or 2. be dependent on zoloft to feel anything at all, I'll take the lesser of two evils which is the latter. I'm sure some of you may suggest waiting longer to see if anything improves, which may be worth trying. But I don't know how much longer I can do this. It feels like I'm not very far off from trying anything, including zoloft again. Anything is better than this. Also, I apologize for any perceived negativity in this post. I am not someone who likes to bring other people down to my level - that's why I haven't told several friends and family members about this nightmare of a life I am living (or not living, since I don't feel alive). Sincerely, up until the last few weeks I had somehow maintained my optimism. It's definitely waning now though.
  22. If you are from the UK, and particularly if you're a woman, please follow this link and contact the guy who posted this link on the email he provided: http://www.pssdforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=956 Right now we just don't have the numbers, and it'd be a damn shame if they ditched the segment considering the fact that there are so many of us.
  23. Hello everyone , At first i would like to introduce myself. I am a 24 year old boy from Italy and have been taking citalopram for several months. The exact time you can see in my signature. Already during the intake of citalopram I noticed a strongly sunken libido and I could not hold any strong erections anymore. As many of you were told me that these side effects disappear at the settle. Now I have stopped the drug since june and the sexual dysfunction have become worse. I still can get only a lacking erection. Genital numbness is present throughout and the libido is equally very low. So I unfortunately suffer as many others of PSSD and have already tried various supplements, but I could not see any improvement. My next try for a cure would be bupropion(150mg daily) and inositol (18mg daily). I have read that different people have noticed with these medications improvements. Now to my question: Can I take these 2 supplements (bupropion and inositol) together? My psychiatrist said it would not be a problem, but he can not imagine that inositol would change anything. I would take 150mg bupropion in the morning and in 18g inositol in the evening. So would you say that its Okay if i try a medication by connecting this 2 supplements together or would you rather to took first bupropion for 4 weeks and maybe after inositol if nothing changes. Im sorry for my bad english and i hope to get some advice! Greets, jescowhite
  24. ME: 37 y.o. female STORY: In escitalopram 1 year and two months: low dosis (10 mg per day) from Jun 2013 to May 2013, then I low to 10 gr every two days. eventually quit on September 2013 WHY STARTING WITH IT? I had the drug because I experienced a great general anxiety. It really cure my problem. Other drugs you are having or gone back to this one : NO SIDE EFFECTS: - Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. - I have noticed that my breast don´t get swollen before menstruation - Lack of vaginal discharge - Barely absence of vaginal odour Any improvements since then: NO Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014 "if you come up with any good ideas, please let us know"
  25. Hi guys, I'm a 24 year old french guy suffering from what I believe to be PSSD. Here's my story: Late 2012 - I was diagnosed with depression and went on citalopram for 1 month, followed by Cymbalta for 1 month. The meds slightly numbed my penis, even after discontinuation. 2013 - I went on different meds that made no impact on my depression nor sex drive, as they don't target serotonin (Abilify, Valdoxan, Solian, Wellbutrin, Lamictal). Only spent a handful of weeks on any given one of these. My penis was still slightly numbed by mid-2013, from the initial S(N)RIs. I then took an old MAOI antidepressant called Marsilid(Iproniazid) for around 4 months. The numbness in my penis got noticeably worse. I still had a libido but orgasms were very weak, it was harder to maintain an erection. I decided to quit psychiatric meds in december 2013. April 2014 - the penile numbness was still there and orgasms were still weak, no sign of improvement. ENTER THE THYROID MEDS. I took some thyroid meds (Armour thyroid) without a doctor's consent to see if it would help with my depression, although I had no thyroid problem. Looking back it was stupid, but I was depressed and desperate, plus I had read somewhere that T3 hormones were sometimes given as treatment for depression.That's when my libido took a massive dive, along with my ability to achieve erections, feel pleasure in life, and focus on mental tasks. I only stayed 6 weeks on the thyroid pills. Since discontinuation of everything around 18 months ago, the PSSD hasn't gotten better. I had to drop out of a prestigious university program because of my lack of an ability to focus on mentally-demanding tasks 9 months ago. I used to be an intelligent student with a great memory, but now I feel dumbed down. Paying attention to what people say during a conversation has become a little challenge in itself. Dropping out was devastating for my self-esteem. Concerning the sexual SEs, I am unable to be turned on by naked women like I used to be. I require heavy physical stimulation to even start feeling a little tingle of pleasure. Orgasms are pleasureless, and I've lost all ejaculatory strength. The semen just seems to slowly come out and dribble nowadays, whereas it used to to be propelled with great strength before. The numbness is crazy - I have a harder time even just feeling my own urine flowing inside my penis when I take a leak. Concerning erections, I am unable to keep them up during sex. As for pleasure in life in general, it's like it has been turned down. Watching movies used to make me thrilled, but now I no longer feel any sense of amazement during cool action sequences. Music doesn't move me like it used to. The touch of a woman no longer excites me, as if my skin had become less sensitive. I saw some PSSD posters on some website mentioning their skin felt like "rubber" and I think I get the feeling. I did some blood tests to see if my hormones (thyroid, testosterone, DHEA, and other stuff) were out of balance, but the results came back just fine. My theory is that the serotonergic side of the thyroid meds, on top of the previous SSRIs and MAOI screwed something in my brain, and I will need time to recover. I've seen a couple hormone specialists that have told me that thyroid meds don't bring these nasty effects on their own, and whatever effect they bring should disappear upon treatment discontinuation. I saw the Admin Altostrata mentioning time and time again that experimenting with meds to cure PSSD was dangerous and could potentially make matters worse, so I'll stick to taking nothing. Plus, the fact that thyroid meds made me a lot worse can serve as an example to illustrate the argument. Anyways, the past is the past. I hope I will get better, and will post every once in a while to update my progress (or lack thereof).
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