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I am ashamed of how I've been acting in the last 3-4 months. My emotions are like a ping-pong ball, and I find myself trying to make big life decisions (changing careers, moving countries, breaking up a relationship, withdrawing from friends, OCD) even though I do not really have any capacity to. I need help and advice to self-soothe and not "dump" this all on my beloved boyfriend. At the moment, the only thing that works is when I work really hard at my job. It's the only time I am able to achieve some reprieve from the mental rituals in my head. Also, how long should I wait before I can reasonably expect to be in my "right" mind again to make life decisions? I have been drug-free for 4 months (yay!).
My husband of 30 years, 3 adult boys, has had panic attacks in the past 5 years. He was on and off escitalopram at different times. His sister, a pharmacist and naturopath (!), convinced him to take it indefinitely to help him with his serotonin levels. That has been about a year now. He gets his prescription from the family doctor who does nothing but bloodwork. He previously took 10 mg, but just told me he moved it down to 5 mg. He has taken business coaching seminars and now finds himself a well-adjusted expert. His aggression levels toward me have gotten worse. He definitely, IMHO, has emotional blunting. He is in denial. All of my concerns and problems are brushed aside with the comment that I require coaching. I actually have consulted with 2 psychologists, both which confirmed that I am fine and yes, we need therapy together. We are now going to a therapist together, just having had 4 sessions. I mentioned his SSRI and the possibility of discontinuing it. He went through the roof, threatened to leave the room, said I was wasting money on therapy, it was not up for discussion. I am very glad that he lost his composure and the therapist got to see a little of what I deal with. It took the therapist close to 10 minutes to calm him down. I don't think DH realizes what he demonstrated. On the down side, the therapist is not medically trained and thinks he should continue with the SSRI. We live in Europe in a non English speaking country. The therapist does not read English fluently. DH does speak fluently - but I have a feeling, he won't even look at this information I have prepared. His new friends from the coaching seminar (3 months training, 1 year ago) are very important to him. Which makes sense to me because he needs new input and kicks to feel positive. He is very indifferent to me, has stopped verbal aggressiveness since the therapy, mostly by avoiding me at home. The agressiveness was bad and could have been for very trivial things like an empty carton. He has been unemployed for >2 years, previously being at a high level position. Age 55, very athletic, dynamic and younger looking. However, I wonder if other people can see or tell that he may be on an SSRI - albeit a small dose. The fact that he has always been very sports oriented was always a little suspicious to me. If we went on a hike together, the goal was to hike as fast as possible. In his other sports, I cannot keep up with him and we do not even attempt it. I also have found my own therapist. A previous medical doctor that got into psychotherapy. It is good to have someone to talk to but I have yet to find a benefit to it. So what am I looking for? Basically a forum to discuss having a family member with this problem. I really don't know how long I can put up with this. If he would recognize the problem, it would make a big difference. If he could get a job that would help me some temporarily. Interview upcoming. Thank you for this informative website. Any comments?
Hi everyone, I was wondering if anyone had any experience dating while being in WD? I am still not feeling great and have long way to go but I am better than where I was a year ago and was thinking about trying to go on a date and meeting someone special. It gets lonely and I am in my early 30s and get worried that the clock is ticking and I will end up as a lonely woman with 30 cats and dogs. I struggle with fatigue, anxiety, dizziness and some dp/dr. I got an advice that I should try to live as of a normal life as I can and get myself out there. Of course easier said than done. Maybe it can help to take my mind off things, but then I worry about how do I explain to that person that I cannot hang out bc I am not feeling well and going through WD or that I cannot drink? Maybe it is better to wait until I am much better, but at the same time I do not know when this will be. Any experience and advice will be greatly appreciated. B.
Hello All, Not sure if I am posting in the right section, so apologies in advance. I am feeling quite lonely within no one to turn to on the same wave length.. I've been trying to get hold of a shrink I started seeing a few months ago. Left 3 messages asking him to confirm our regular sessions after a holiday break but he has not responded. I know that he is around, as I dialled his number by mistake yesterday and he did answer it. Unfortunately, I couldn't talk as I was not calling him. Anyway... The very sad is that the fact of him not calling me back, makes me feel,.for some ridiculous reasons, inferior and a bad person! My worth depends on whether he calls me or not! I KNOW it's ridiculous and probably due to my general feeling down and out of sorts but this awareness doesn't makes much of the difference... I also feel like a "bad " person, this feeling I'd experienced even before taking the meds so it's not a withdrawal..Probably, this badness has some routs in my childhood, whatever, now it feels real as ever... Sorry for putting it out there, I don't know who to turn too. After all, my psychotherapist is ignoring me (probably I've done something wrong, "bad girl "). Anyway, thank you for reading it and any thoughts, words of the encouragement would be appreciated... F47 PS Really, getting disappointed with the psychoanalysts here in France..