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  1. Hello Folks, my name is LNY4ever and i am from Germany In the month of July in 2016 I decided to finally take LSD at a Party in the woods close to the town where I study. A few weeks later i think i had a flashback from this LSD trip and i started to wander around town. I would think that exposure to the outside world would keep me from getting insane, since i think I had some auditory hallucinations as well After 3 Days of roaming I couldnt take it anymore because i was so anxious about everything that I committed myself to the psych ward of our town. Because I freaked out in the ward, people tackled me to the ground and fixated me and sedated me with Haloperidol. I was diagnosed with a drug-induced psychosis and was court-ordered to stay there for 6 weeks, which was alleviated because of the fact I behaved quite nice and commited myself voluntarily. I cannot really recall the first week of my stay there, but i have been drugged with some benzos, Olanzapine and Risperidone. After 3 weeks (in August) I was released from the psych ward and went to my families place ( which is in another town, a few houndred kilometers from where I study). Because I was taking two antipsychotic medications, my mum and me decided to drop the Olanzapine (10mg/day) and just go for the Risperidone (1.5 mg/day at that time). After i quit Olanzapine cold turkey( because i was feeling very strange, very numb), i had some weird feelings when lying in bed, basically like dissolving or continious falling. Waaaay later i learned that quitting cold turkey is quite dangerous. In late August I really got bored out of my pants where my family lives (mostly because of the anhedonic adverse effects of the antipsychotic medication, which at the time i did not know about) and decided to go back to the town where I study, because I thought life should go on now. After a week i became intensly anxious and supposively psychotic again (probably because i quit Olanzapine) and decided to quit the medication because it made me feel even more weird, so i went to another psychiatry (where my family lives) this time for a weekend. This time i really had lost all grasp on reality because I think i was withdrawing from Risperidone. I was given RIsperidone ( this time 4mg/day) and was basically in a dream like zombie like state and I didnt know what the heck was going on. My father visited me and saw the wicked state I was in so my parents, who live apart, decided to take me home again. I stayed at my fathers place for a month and went after that to the place where I study again. I then got an appointment with a psychiatrist whom i told that the medication makes me very resless (akathisia), makes my legs move unvoluntairily ( dyskinesia) and i was feeling dull and not perceiving any form of enjoyment whatsoever(anhedonia). He agreed to taper the Risperidone So I went form 4mg --> 2mg --> 1.5mg-->1mg-->0.75mg-->0.5mg-->0.25mg-->0.125mg(broke Tablets in half)-->0mg from Oktober 2016 to January 2017. I held the dosage for around 2/3 Weeks and then went on a lower dose. Since then i am feeling waaaay better, because in January 2017 i was feeling very socially inapt, emotionally blunt, couldnt come up with a conversation topic because every spark of creativity was removed from my brain,still had to move my legs all he time due to restlessness. I still think there is a good amount of recovery to do since i think i was more inspired and more outgoing and more active before my little tango with drugs and medication. Yet I can feel good feelings again and have more energy to do things. Thats my journey until now, i hope the post hasnt become too long. Are there any other people around here with similar experiences? With best Regards, LNY
  2. Hello. I am twenty years old and had been on antidepressants since I was ten. From then on through my teenage years, all I knew was I needed to take my medicine . Once I was diagnosed with high-functioning autism, my pediatrician referred me to a neurologist. The neurologist then put me on respiradone and strattera. I don't remember if I had any behavior problems or not, but my neurologist told me I would have to be on medicine for the rest of my life. I stayed on those two meds until I got into high school. My first two years of high school, I couldn't stop crying. I cried day and night. My neurologist put me on celexa. When that didn't work, my neurologist told me he could no longer help me and referred me to a psychiatrist. I saw the new psychiatrist my junior year of high school who told me I had depression and anxiety that needed to be treated. I was taken off respiradone and strattera and put on pristiq and adderall. When pristiq wouldn't work, I was switched back to celexa. So it went on, switching back and forth between antidepressants. There were so many different ones I can't remember many of them. Every time I asked my psychiatrist if the next time it would work, he assured me it would. There was no chance to talk when I saw my psychiatrist. It would result in a new prescription every time. During my senior year, I helplessly slept through every class, sometimes falling out on the floor asleep. I had a good school counselor who allowed me to pass because she knew it was the medicine and I got plenty of sleep. I also cried uncontrollably almost every day in front of everyone and it was very humiliating as I would stir up a lot of attention. My senior pictures of me showed a person with a puffed up and swollen face. I was switched to lexapro again and stayed on it my whole first year of college. Then the crying returned. During my second year, I was switched to Abilify for depression. I still trusted my psychiatrist as he again promised me it would work. Out of all my experiences with antidepressants, there is nothing that could ever have compared to this. As soon as I took the first dose of Abilify, my brain signaled to me something was very, very wrong. I began receiving no sleep. My psychiatrist put me on trazadone for that, but when I took it, my body fell completely limp, my heartbeat slowed down to almost nothing, and I went numb while my body shut itself down. I stopped it after two nights. Meanwhile, with abilify, I began spending all my time obsessing over things I would normally never touch. I believed I was an alien hybrid sent from outer space to save the planet. I also believed the human race are all aliens in disguise. Then I started going mad. I didn't want to be a human anymore. I wanted to be a supernatural creature with otherworldly capabilities. This was all extremely terrifying to me, but I couldn't stop myself. I lost my common sense as I believed these nonsensical theories. My mind was overpowering me with racing thoughts such as these listed. I couldn't think clearly. I was almost always in a state of rage. Reasoning had left me. For reasons I do not remember, I stopped Abilify by myself cold turkey. My psychiatrist had told me before that I never needed to worry about tapering because the antidepressants I took were all in the same family. He never mentioned stopping completely. Withdrawal symptoms didn't show up until a week later. My psychiatrist told me they would last 15 days. They were relatively minor, and I didn't worry much about them. However, nothing could have ever prepared me for the horror I underwent next. Every horror I could have never imagined bestowed me over the course of a month. I received no sleep. I was very lucky if I got one hour. The nights soon got from bad to worse. I developed REM sleep disorder. I was unable to tell the difference between being awake and asleep. As my mind was drifting, I jumped up in the air, screamed, swung at the air, and thrashed violently all over. In addition, my head would suddenly snap up and I would shout melancholy indistinguishable language and suck in sharp breaths. I was aware of everything, but I had no control over it, and it was very disturbing to me. Then came the uncontrollable muscle movements. My lips drew up on the sides, my mouth gaped open, my lips puckered and pouted, my teeth bared, my tongue stuck out, my neck extended, my eyes bulged, my eyebrows rose and lowered, my hands flapped, my arms swung, my knees jerked, my head jerked side to side, and my fingers extended. Shouts, grunts, moans, and gasps escaped my mouth. Several weeks went by as more horrendous symptoms appeared. Every day I was a zombie. I could only do basic human activities. I had no awareness of the passage of time. At night while drifting off, a dark shadowy presence swept over me. I was aware of where I was in real time while drifting, but I sensed a sudden danger. I jumped up alert every time. I heard a voice I believed to be God's telling me why I was like this and what I needed to do. It spoke to me relentlessly for days. When this occurred, an otherworldly and overwhelming sense of peace filled my every being. But it was always soon replaced by a terror so surreal I could not function. During this time, I could "see" my brain and I believed I was in control of what I allowed to be let in. After four days of this, I ordered the voice to "Get out!" It did and did not come back. Right after this, a veil suddenly covered my mind and I was disengaged from reality. I had no sense of where I was and I had no connection with my parents. I was always mad, crying most of the time, and my head was always jerking. I saw my psychiatrist for the last time two months ago. The doctor who had been nice to me all this time suddenly turned mean. He told me he refused to see me unless I got on medicine. By this time, I had found this site and many other websites about withdrawal. I knew I wanted to try living a better life and I was not backing down. I never took the newly prescribed anti psychotic he prescribed me. A week later, my parents, exasperated with how I was doing and on their last straw, called my psychiatrist. My dad told the psychiatrist I had read on the internet how long the withdrawal really is and the doctor spoke with me on the phone. My psychiatrist told me that the withdrawal symptoms I was describing were "all in my head" because the medicine would already be out of my system now six weeks later. He told me I needed to get on medicine right now because "I needed help". He told me my quality of life was not as good without the medicine. I was in another rage episode by this time, and unlike me, I confronted him. I said "Well why are a lot of these the same symptoms I experienced during the so-called withdrawal time?" He said he didn't know and preceded to ask me was I on drugs. I was in disbelief that anyone would ask such a thing. I have not spoken to that psychiatrist since. I am dealing currently with a lot of physical and mental symptoms but none I would describe as severe as that horrible nightmare of a month. (That month just happened to be timed perfectly with my Christmas break.) My mouth, head, and fingers jerk, but never as exaggerated as they were the first month. I dealt with extremely numb fingers, feet, and ankles up until two weeks ago. My ankles at times felt like they were hanging by a single nail. My feet, bluish-green, were so numb and swollen I had no feeling and shooting pains shot up my legs. I was extremely dizzy for so long. My gp told me I have low blood pressure. I started having panic attacks. Anxiety crept over me for no apparent reason. I cried a lot. I felt hopeless. I am dealing with apathy, anhedonia, akathisia, and cognitive problems. My memory has not been well during this whole time. I am not aware; I'm just wherever I am. I have lost perception of sight, hearing, and touch. I do things I'm supposed to do because I know that's what I've always done. I cannot connect feelings to memories; I have to rely on pictures and journals from over the years. I had to look back in my journal to refresh my memory of this whole experience which I happened to write down. I have been disconnected with myself...it was worse in the beginning. I would look at pictures of myself and couldn't connect that it was me. The whole first month of withdrawal my face was so puffed up I thought my skin would fall off. Sometimes things look bigger or smaller than they appear. My thinking ability is limited. I went to my gp again three weeks ago and I was low on vitamin D. I am currently on iron medicine, vitamin d supplements, allergy medicine, and multivitamins. Although the numbness has gone away, I am extremely faint and have weak tremors every day. At night I'm miserably exhausted. My heart is always beating fast and hard. I get chills and my body tenses up. I'm not sure if I should be concerned about any of this. I cold-turkeyed Abilify four months ago. I have managed to keep my grades up in college since then and so far have maintained a perfect attendance. Some days are harder than others, but I try to count my blessings as I've heard stories far worse than my own. I am only beginning to understand what I am dealing with. The last thing I would want is to ever take another antidepressant and hinder this process. I feel like I have a real sense of myself now and I feel more in control. I have no idea how long this will last or if it will ever go away but I try to maintain a positive attitude about it as things slowly get better. I have faced the fact that I can't change my past but I can certainly shape my future. I apologize for the long story. It is difficult to get my thoughts together.
  3. I am 54 years old, and experienced my first manic episode, starting 1st November of last year, requiring a month of involuntary hospitalisation starting 14th November brought on by numerous stressors. I was on Lithium and Haloperidol, from the 15th Nov, then ±900mg Lithium and 0.5mg Risperidone from the 15th Jan . I started tapering the Risperidone from the Feb 16th. My last dose was 0.125mg on 15 March. How long will the withdrawal symptoms last? The reason why I'm asking is I'd also like to know if I am experiencing withdrawal symptoms or bipolar depression? The intense depressive feelings arrive and leave suddenly and unexpectedly, sometimes lasting a few minutes, sometimes a few hours, after which I feel mildly depressed again, which is a general state. I am able to be lifted, for example by gardening, good cooking, humour etc, during this general milder state. I have general anxiety about several factors which triggered the original mania, namely money (increased now, due to difficulty working), accommodation for my and my spouse's ageing parents who are both difficult to work with, those being by far the most major among other stressors. I have found that very carefully-considered and rare - perhaps twice a week - use of Diazepam can also return me to this state from the more intense state. I intended to start tapering the Lithium once I feel more stable and know myself better after this current tapering. I apologise if this has been covered before, but I find reading and writing about my condition extremely stress inducing, which is to say getting to this point has not been easy. I am eternally grateful in advance for the help.
  4. Hi, I'm new to the forum, I have some questions I want to ask. My doctor prescribed effexor for depression, in 2009. Now I'm free of symptoms and I managed to come off with withdrawal symptoms though. That's with the antidepressant. Now I'm on Risperdal consta from November 2013 and seroxat 10mg. My doctor prescribed with risperdal consta 3,3mg/day long acting injection every two weeks. From February 2015 he lowered the dosage to 25mg/every 2 weeks equals 1,66mg/day. I tried to lower the seroxat 10mg but after 40-45h I have withdrawal symptoms vertigo, dizziness. Is it possible to cut down seroxat? How about the Risperdal consta (long acting injection). Has anyone tapered off completely without withdrawals? I read about the 10% harm reduction procedure to taper off and I'm going to tell my doctor and follow. thanks in advance
  5. Hello, Im 24 years old, in february i had an psychosis and was put on 6mg Risperdal a day. In the first month i felt nothing from the medication but in the second month i experiencend wirred conditions like my brain was melting.... since this time i lost all my Feelings interests and sexuality.... i cant even watch tv or read a book, the only thing i can do is starring at the wall all day...its awful. its the 4th month im off risperdal and still there is no change in my condition.... im thinking about suicid all day and had a lot of attempts. I really need a recovery story beside charliebrowns because i think his symptoms werent as bad as mine.
  6. Hello, im from eu, sorry about my english. i'm going to taper my medication which is risperdal 1mg. I have had it about 1,2month. I have been taking 0,5mg for few days now so.. My earlier meds were abilify, zyprexa, truxal and levozin. I had my boozepsychosis about 7 months ago. how slowly do i need to manage with risperdal?
  7. My brain going into dream condition but not into sleep condition every night or day when ever I attempt to sleep I have believed the information about remote neural monitoring in all over internet and browsed internet 2 years heavily which resulted heavy thought process ,doubts and suspicion over near and dear. So I went to a psychiatrist and requested to bring me out of heavy thoughts.He made me use lorazepam for 10 days ,risperidone and trihexyphenidyl combination drug for 30 days.After 30 days my thoughts reduced so I did not go to doctor again.What a mistake ,I was ignorant of how psychiatry medicines work and slow tapering nor my doctor warned me while prescribing an anti psychotic.It is happened in july 2016. From then my brain going into dreams when ever I attempt to sleep.In october 2016 again I went to the same doctor and reported about the condition I am in.He prescribed olanzapine silently.I started using olanzapine ignorantly and innocently.When i was experiencing stomach upset that is when I researched in the internet about risperidone and olanzapine. Now this is june 2017 I have tapered risperidone and olanzapine safely and became drug free safely.But the thing is my brain still into dream condition and not allowing me to sleep when ever i attempt.My querry is what risperidone and trihexyphenidyl and lorazapam [10 days]did to my brain?what chemicals they blocked.Now stopping them cold turkey did what on my brain?what chemical i should take to get my sleep pattern back.?If I wait patiently with time will the brain correct its condition naturally?Any brain researcher please help.
  8. How to taper less than .01mg at a time

    I am tapering liquid Risperdal and am trying to make a smaller cut than .01mg at a time. I am currently at 1.10mg. This is what I usually do: 1. Measure out 1 mg with a 2 ml syringe and at it to 1/2 cup water per directions from medication insert 2. Measure out .10ml with a .50 ml syringe (1ml of liquid = 1mg of Risperidone) 3. Stir then drink right away Is there a way that I can measure out an amount of liquid and then pull an amount that will give me a .005ml/mg cut? If so, can anyone provide he water to drug ratio as to how to go about making a cut this tiny? the smallest cut I can make with the .50ml syringe is a .01ml. Thank you all for your help!!
  9. hello guys, that's my story (coming from Italy, sorry for bad English): I was suggested in October 2014 to take Risperdal 1mg/day for my social anxiety and paranoia...took it for 23 days from November, that day I suddenly felt a great fear of death and a 'strange void' in my head. From that moment (23 November 2014) to present day I have had no emotions, I have lost all my interests, my mind is empty now (very slow thinking), I speak few times only to answer a question, I have no energy or motivation so I'm lying down on my bed all the day. Before taking Risperdal I had some issues with social anxiety and paranoia, but I loved going to gym, walking, thinking freely, reading and gaming. Now I don't have any desire, I also experience discomfort when eating or taking a shower. I read many posts about this like-being dead existence after taking risperdal. Please help, also jim24 your story is similar to mine, please update me on your situation...I will do the same.
  10. Hello Everyone, I am relieved to find this site, because I have been dealing with problems from my medications alone for a long time, and it's a relief to find a support system, and a place where I may be finally be able to be helpful. For context, I grew up in an unstable home. My parents were upper middle class and had no serious problems (like drug abuse), and were caring in many ways - but not in others. My mother withheld food for every reason in the book (misbehavior, being too busy, not believing I was hungry, trying to teach me a lesson about different things, like patience, and making sure I stayed super thin, and making sure I enjoyed the food she cooked more) and I was hungry all the time, though never became too unhealthy because I never exceeded 24 hours without food. But it made me extremely hunger phobic (which I still am today.) I developed insomnia and generalized anxiety at the same time. And no one in my family took it seriously - they were all disappointed in me. However, when I developed depression, my parents constantly took me to doctor's and tried numerous medications - Hydroxyzine, Prozac, Lexapro, Zoloft, Clonidine, Welbutrin, and Abilify - all to no avail. During my depression, both parents became extremely emotionally distant from me, which made things worse. Finally, my doctor prescribed Mirtazapine and convinced my parents to feed me more regularly, and my depression and insomnia went away. However, I was also prescribed Risperidone. I was told that its mood-stabilizing effects would be beneficial in helping regulate my emotions and would prevent me from overindulging in my internal fantasy world (that became a crutch for me during my depression. I was not psychotic or bipolar - my official diagnosis was major depressive disorder and I never had mania or hallucinations. Risperidone was at a low dose, .5 mg, although I was only 14. She also wanted Risperidone to be a short-term drug. However, we had to abruptly switch to a new doctor (my parents had split up, and we had to find a doctor closer to their new houses). He seemed to think Risperidone would be fine as a long-term drug; I suppose he thought it was needed to keep my depression at bay alongside Mirtazapine. Here's when the trouble began. Mirtazapine was fine (I'm still on it.) However, with Risperidone, I had to fast regularly to test for insulin resistance. This aggravated my hunger phobia, but my parents didn't take it seriously. It also exacerbated my anxiety tenfold. I became so afraid of bugs that by the the first year I was on it, I was too afraid to leave the house during the summer. Sleeping was hard because I was terrified a bug would crawl into my bed. Some of my childhood fears came back and became huge an irrational - I was terrified of vomiting and lound sounds, to name a few. My family didn't take this seriously - they didn't believe it had gotten worse; they told me I was always this anxious. My doctor mostly believed them and gave me Xanax rather than examining my medications. After six months on the drug and for the rest of my time on Risperidone, I began waking up twice during the night by extreme hunger, unlike anything I ever felt (around midnight and again between three and four in the morning) which was disastrous for my mental health because of my phobia. (I think the only way I survived was because the hunger was so extreme that it felt fake, but it hurt like hell.) I couldn't go more than two hours without getting extremely hungry, and became afraid of taking standardized tests in high school (because food wasn't allowed) and couldn't go to social outings because I was afraid my friends wouldn't stop for food. Sometimes, no matter what I did, I couldn't feel full. I stopped doing the fasting blood draws because of my phobia, despite the potential consequences. I started cutting to deal with the constant threat of hunger. My family still didn't take my deteriorating health seriously and even threatened not to feed me to get to do what they wanted, and mocked me for being scared all the time. The only thing that stopped them from not feeding me was my doctor. He told them to feed me, but he didn't take me off the drug despite the hunger-induced insomnia and anxiety. I had prolactin troubles. It gave me an intense sex drive. However, it stopped my puberty almost entirely. I had menstrual periods once every three months, but when I did have them, they could last for two weeks and were very heavy, though I had no cramps. I also began to look different - I look younger in my senior yearbook photo than I did in my eighth grade middle school photo. People who saw me around high school who didn't know me well enough asked if I was a freshmen all junior and senior year. My parents blamed me for some reason - they just said I should wear more makeup and said I got bad "genes" from the other parent. After three years on the drug, I started having serious problems with my gut. For the first three years, I had bad constipation on and off, getting progressively worse as the years went by. After the third year, I had an episode where I was constipated for ten days and had to use powerful laxatives four times to finally get some relief. After that, I had to use those laxatives regularly. I also developed an immense, cramping pain in my gut. It would get so bad that sometimes, during class I couldn't do my work at all. I had to sit there, motionless, for the full hour because the pain was so bad I couldn't move. I had trouble standing for this same reason. This was my senior year, and the intensity of and the frequency of which the pain occurred and the need to use laxatives increased. At the same time, I started having psychotic episodes. I would switch between "positive" episodes, where I had delusions that the teachers and students in one of my classes were forming a conspiracy to humiliate me, that everyone I knew was trying to collect information about my weaknesses (hence my refusal to tell anyone about the pain in my gut), that other teachers were reading my thoughts, and so on. I became terrified of small noises and believed that whispering people were always talking about me. I had a perceptual difficulty where the world looked too shiny and glass-like. In between were "negative" episodes, where I couldn't make facial expressions, everything looked gray, and I moved very slowly and either felt immensely sad or nothing at all. teachers and friends tried to help me but I was scared of them and wouldn't let them. My family be angry with me. I was living with my dad, and would accuse me of abusing my Xanax drugs when I had negative episodes, and would yell and once hit me when I got scared of him during positive ones. I didn't live with my mom at all because her abuse was worse. After graduation, the laxatives just weren't effective anymore, but I kept using them, more and more, to try and get their effect. This caused bizarre symptoms (I think.) I slept for 14 hours a day, and had trouble moving after I took one. My heart would go extremely fast for hours after taking them. At the time, I started to worry they were killing me. I knew that both Risperidone and Mirtazapine caused constipation. The hunger was bad as it had ever been, and I was having delusions based around that, and I knew that Risperidone and Mirtazapine caused increased appetite. I finally decided that I needed Mirtazapine more because it had relieved the depression symptoms first, and Risperidone was only ever supposed to be for emotional regulation help anyway. Deciding I could do without it, I quit it cold turkey. I wouldn't have done this if I was thinking straight, but I was psychotic and no one was offering any help. Within hours, my constipation was relieved and NEVER came back. My appetite dwindled within a few days, as did my anxiety about bugs. For the first time in years, I walked out into the summer heat without fear of bees, and slept without hunger. I had a wonderful feeling in my body that I can't even describe. My psychotic symptoms being to ebb immediately, and were gone entirely after a month. However, other troubles popped up. First off, I've been mildly depressed and isolated since what happened. I feel awful about how I treated my friends and teachers when I was psychotic and thought I had to protect myself from them (which usually meant rudeness or shutting them out). I reconnected with some of my friends, and they really understood. However, not with others. Also, my family is the most distant they've ever been. They don't understand what I've been through, what I'm dealing with now, or why I treated them the way I did. They think I over-exaggerate and seem to regard me as unstable and don't have a sense of the recovery I've made, they only see the shortcomings I still face. I feel like a burden to everyone - I always need something, like money for doctor's visits or emotional support. I haven't yet been able to offer much in return, and it's profoundly upsetting. There's always something going on with me and I just wish I could help others for once. Two moderate shortcomings are communication and driving. Talking has become very difficult - I'm always forgetting what I should say (like "have a nice day') and am frequently lost for words - I either stare off into space or say "um" multiple times when asked a question. My words come out jumbled. Only a couple of friends have been patient enough to learn how to communicate with me. My family says I'm less intelligent than most people my age, and my peers and professors tend to think I'm weird or rude. I'm getting better though and my writing has remained fine and is a good communication tool for me. I also still can't drive. On Risperidone, I was too afraid to drive. Now, my nutrition is bad (I'll talk about that more below) and so it makes it hard to focus on different things at once (like car speed and lights) but I'm working on it. It's slow going though because I need to get away from my family. One of those is my menstrual periods. They are regular now, but the cramps they give me are intense. So bad that they make me sick to my stomach. Sometimes so bad that I almost faint and/or see stars. The cramping extends down my legs. I experience some of the psychotic symptoms I had on risperidone, along with confusion and sometimes even hypomania (like rapid talking and over-spending.) I now take Xanax exclusively for this because it's the only way to drown out the pain. Worse, I have terrible problems with my gut. I had acid reflux for a year after quitting Risperidone, though it's now mostly gone. Risperidone may have increased my appetite, but when I quit it, I lost my appetite almost completely. I became at one point nearly ten pounds underweight. I usually ate one small meal a day with a snack. I became so underweight that at one point I had problems breathing and climbing staircases. I had strange pains in my legs and made very poor decisions. I got sick all the time. I was cold all the time too - I had the space heater running in the summer. My felt pain in my bones all over my body and sitting on hard floors was excruciating. My family noticed none of this. At one point, I had to go to the urgent care once for dehydration. But of course, the doctor and my family wrote it off as anxiety, though the doctor mentioned I needed to put on some weight. I can't eat breakfast anymore I have symptoms of severe IBS daily, and used to vomit if I didn't get enough sleep (though this has since lessened to heartburn.) I still have malnutrition problems on an off. I alternate between a week of eating normally, eating less, and then eating almost nothing at all. Doctors and family say it's anxiety, but my anxiety has been virtually gone since quitting Risperidone. On that note, I HAVE made improvements. My anxiety is the lowest it's ever been my whole life (I can pick up spiders in my bare hand!). My hunger phobia, for better or worse, is more manageable now that my appetite is unreliable. I am in college. Socializing is hard and my roommate also became verbally abusive, making fun and belittling my health problems more actively than my family. However, I've made some light acquaintances and am helping a professor with research. I'm in the honors program at my school and I have a job. Despite my pain and eating problems, I go to class and have learned to be tough about it. I'm thinking of writing a book about my experiences with Risperidone. I'm keeping hope and positivty. But to be honest, it's hard. I don't have anyone to talk to about what I've been through. The nutrition problems are bad, and no one takes them seriously. I have a better doctor now, prescribing Mirtazapine and Trazodone (for sleep), and does recognize my weight issues are a problem, but I have trouble paying for her on a regular basis, and she can't do much for me when it comes to helping the nutrition/weight problem - I need a nutritionist, which I also can't afford. And so my poor health continues to get in the way of a lot of things, but I don't many solutions and sometimes the only thing I can do is hide them and manage them the best I can without guidance. And so, I am so grateful to anyone who has read this long and personal post, and I greatly appreciate any support and want to offer all I can in return.
  11. Quick general question: What is the advice in the case of someone who has only been on 2.5mg Risperidone for a week? The conundrum is if they do a standard 10% / 3 week taper it'll take almost a year to reach 0.5mg, or two years to reach 0.05mg. During this time the duration may outweigh the risk of doing a much faster taper now. I am anticipating actually advising someone, and hopefully they won't delay much longer in asking for the schedule which may change the longer they're on it. So generally speaking I'm curious about the sliding scale of relative risks and tapering advice in this regard. At the lowest extreme someone who has only taken it once could probably safely stop cold turkey, or something approaching it, the next day, right? At the other end, at what point does the 10% / 3 week guideline become applicable?
  12. New to the community. Joined after reading Schizor's (forum member) story. I'll try & make this short. Hospitalized twice. (For "psychosis"). Once for a month in psych ward (Oct - Nov 2016), second time for a few weeks. (Feb 2017) For the first time, forced to take Risperidone & Abilify. Approx 10mg. After complaining it was gradually decreased down to 1mg. Upon release from ward, through trial & error, stopped one drug, tried the other & vice versa. Eventually went cold turkey off both drugs. Second hospital stay was given a shot of Invega. It seems you guys know the drill .... Zombie like feeling, loss of balance, stomach pain, pounding headache, face numbness, involuntary muscle movements, aches, sore eyes, insomnia etc ... After constant arguments, battles & calls to local pharmacists ... Decided to go off the drugs cold turkey. Again it seems you guys know the drill .... After constant nights of bad withdrawals ( a few weeks or so), kinda - sorta made it through only to still have major insomnia, lack of motivation, no energy, weird thoughts, sensitivity to lights & noise, jerky movements, aggression, a bit of sexual dysfunction & so on. Ladies & gents ..... What now ??? I feel exactly like Schizor did. Only wanna sleep but can't really, only wanna eat but don't feel satisfied, lack of emotion & stone cold thoughts, loss of character etc ..... On top of all this I have legal issues & may face jail time. A nightmare is almost an understatement when it comes to these drugs. It's also caused me to become completely paranoid of any doctor diagnosis, (psychosis !?? ... More like psychosis induced) psychiatrist, hospital, medical help of any sort. Thanks for reading (if ya did).
  13. Greetings all. This is my very first post by the way. I have been reading a lot of the posts on this site and there is a wealth of information regarding tapering. However, what I would really like to know is why should I taper at all? I am currently taking the following drugs daily 187.5mg venlafaxine 150mg pregabalin (Lyrica) 2mg risperidone Sometime I take zopiclone to sleep but most nights I don't need it. I don't drink alcohol or take any other substances. I meditate and I eat reasonably well. I get moderate exercise. I am enjoying my work and in general I am feeling well. I was very ill in 2008 requiring hospitalisation though. The diagnosis was psychotic depression. I had a relapse in 2012 and I made a suicide attempt at that point. Since 2012 I have been reasonably well and I am getting better all the time. I can suffer from anxiety at times but it's very manageable. Sometimes I feel a little depressed but who doesn't. I have managed to taper the venlafaxine down to the current dose myself. I was taking 300mg not so long ago. Tomorrow I plan to taper it another 10%. I see a psychiatrist regularly and I told him that I was tapering. He just wrote my a prescription for the new dose. I will be back to see him next week. To be honest, I would like to be eventually free of these meds entirely but I worry that I may have a relapse of some sort if I stop taking them altogether. So far the tapering has been going well though. I keep a diary to monitor my mood and there has been no significant change since I started reducing the venlafaxine. I just don't know though. I feel as if I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I want to be free of the drugs but perhaps they are keeping me well? But, in the long term, from what I have been reading they could be doing permanent harm. I just don't know. Please advise
  14. Hi all. I have been on a combo of Risperdal and Zoloft since 2012. I reached 3mg risperdal and 200mg zoloft in early 2016, tried to taper off both starting in June of that year, and had a bout of insomnia in November, at which time I reinstated along with an additional 15mg remeron. Adding the remeron, I've learned, was a huge mistake and most likely unnecessary. Since then I've slept at most 6 hours instead of my usual 8. For the first 2 months on remeron I avoided caffeine and tobacco. Then, after picking up both again, my sleep suffered, and I eventually had nights with 2-3 hours. I've since learned that caffeine and tobacco induce the enzyme CYP1A2, which metabolizes remeron, explaining this. By abstaining from both, my sleep has returned. I have also tried shaving a sliver off my 15mg pill with no luck...getting a full night without sleep. I would like to be able to drink coffee and smoke again. That leaves me with 2 options, get off the remeron (seemingly impossible) or tolerate the lack of sleep. If I do the latter, will my sleep eventually not recover even when abstinent due to repeated withdrawals? I had been planning to use coffee and cigs only sporadically, letting my sleep return before using them again, or using only on the weekends. If I that is not sustainable, then how do you recommend I get off the remeron, given my sensitivity to even a small dose decrease? My doc has suggested trazodone as a replacement, but that med interacts with my other meds and a post about it here scared me away. Thank you so much for your help.
  15. I've been off of this drug for about 8 months now. I was on 3mg for 4 months I have no drive, passion, or interest in anything. The zest of life is gone and I'm simply existing. I can't start a conversation much less contribute to one someone else has started. I'm trying to "fake it till you make it", but it's getting old. I don't remember the last time I truly laughed. Love and joy are things I see other people display and I am yearning to experience those emotions again. I have no sex drive. I hate to sound like I'm throwing a pity party, but I feel like my quality of life is ruined and I see no hope. Like, I'm afraid I'll be like this for the rest of my life and I'm only 29. How LONG does it take for you to get your emotions back? If ever? Someone give me some hope....please?
  16. Fair warning: my journey revolves around PMDD (my menstruation cycle). If this is not your cup of tea, turn back now. Hi! I'm so happy to be here! Here's the short version of my story... I was misdiagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder when in fact I had PMDD. At first, the symptoms were bearable, but after my last child, everything changed. Suddenly, I was not able to make myself or my children food, not showering, not able to pick my kids up from school. Not only that but my self-esteem was shot and anxiety soaring, and I had about one week a month where I could gather myself back up and try to heal before everything started all over again. This went on for over three years. I was completely broken. During all of this, my Psych started throwing meds at me to see what would stick. Unfortunately, nothing would work, and I ended up on 6 meds for depression and anxiety. Finally, I had had enough and approached my Psych and my Gyn about a full hysterectomy and BSO (ovary removal) to stop the fluctuation in my hormones. By this time I had tried all methods of care ranging from DBT to exercise, birth control to relaxation techniques, and so much more. Anyway, I had the surgery, and I felt (and feel) amazing. Like I had been missing out on living. Unfortunately, I was still stuck on all six meds. And so began the titration. I began titrating risperidone at the beginning of 2015. It is important to me to get off this med because I believe it to be the most dangerous. I started at 1 mg, and currently, I am at 0.18 mg. I am taking a break on my titration but intend to jump after my summer vacation and be done with this demon of a drug once and for all. Here is a list of my other meds: Morning: Zoloft 200 mg Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Lorazepam 0.5 mg and 0.375 mg ( also take around 3 pm) Night: Clonazepam 1 mg Trazadone 50 mg Risperidone 0.18 mg (liquid) StuckOnMeds
  17. I have been on 3 mg of Risperdal for 13 years due to drug induced psychosis for meth. I decided to finally try to get off the med and have been tapering since December. I did 0.25 mg per month for 4 months but when I hit 2 mg insomnia kicked in for a couple weeks so I waited it out for 2 months and this time went down 0.10 mg for this month. It has been 5 weeks since my last taper and my only real symptoms are fatigue, feeling completely brain dead, and occasionally my vision feels all strange kind of like a very mild acid trip. I am sleeping 9 hours a night and everything is calm I just feel completely flat emotionally, brain dead, and tired for the most part. Would it be better to continue the taper or just hold since my symptoms aren't unbearable but they are just frustrating?
  18. I'm new to the forums - currently taking 225mg Effexor, .25mg Klonopin, and .25mg Risperdal. My psychiatrist noted that the Risperdal is temporary (will be taking it for about 3 months), but after reading about withdrawal from this particular drug, I'm wondering if I shouldn't begin going off it sooner than that. It's worth noting that the depression and anxiety that I was experiencing even with Effexor and Klonopin did subside almost immediately after beginning Risperdal. At any rate, I already know I'll be beginning a taper off Klonopin soon, after successfully dropping from .5mg to .25mg without any side effects after 4 weeks - I think I got lucky there. I've been on Risperdal for 28 days, so my natural question, given that withdrawal from psychiatric drugs can occur for anyone taking them for "1 month or longer" is whether I should just stop immediately, since it's been just shy of one month and my dose is low, or if I should taper. I understand that I shouldn't expect a definitive answer to this, but I'm very interested to hear what others think and, quite frankly, very scared about what I'm about to face, given the need to taper from two different drugs. My psychiatrist will undoubtedly tell me to just stop taking it after I've been on it for 3 months, as she seems to believe that there are no withdrawal symptoms from any psych. drugs. So I kind of have to go it alone on this decision without guidance from her. Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
  19. i was given 6 mgs intravenously of risperodine for 20 days and then was told to take 4 mgs orally but it was giving me insomnia and constipation so i decided to stop, cold turkey. A week later i started to feel anxious and started to sweat so i started taking it again, but it then gave me the bad side effect where i could no sit still, day or night, so i again stopped cold turkey. It's been 8 weeks since then, i started to get anxiety right away but was able to deal with it, and also insomia, but that instead of getting better with time got worse, where i don't sleep at all, have the anixety where i cant even stay in bed, that also got worse, instead of better with time andnow i also have irritable bowel syndrome which i read is also a withdrawal symptom and yesterday my arm moved involuntarily, which i also read is a withdrawal symptom. Is there anything i could do at this point? and why are the symptons getting worse with time and new ones are showing up with time, instead of everythning going away, it was only for 20 days after all!! i'm scared!! any advice would be highly appreciated!! Thanks
  20. It has been years since I took medications, I was 16 when I took them in 2009, and went through a few different brands. I have copied some of my introduction story to make things easier for me. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5232-%E2%98%BC-hello-charliebrown-script-free/#entry67166 Starting with Fluoxetine 10mg for 1 month. Then Venlafaxine for 1 month at 75mg then, 3 months at 150mg. 1 month of Clonazepam 0.5mg as I was tapered off Venlafaxine and onto Sertraline 50mg. Then I took Sertraline 100mg for 4 months. Still experiencing panic attacks, agoraphobia and paranoia. I went to the hospital during a panic attack and was given Lorazepam 1mg for 1 week. This is when my psychiatrist added Risperidone on top of the Sertraline. Risperidone started at 0.25mg for 3 days, then 0.5mg for one week, raised to 1.0mg for one week. After two weeks I had a check-up I told the Dr. I wasn't feeling anything and I believe he may have misinterpreted that as "no effects" but when I said it I meant that I felt no emotions. My dose was raised to 1.5mg daily. After 3 days of 1.5mg I began experiencing Akathisia with no relief of anxiety. With no options in perceived sight I took all of the remaining Risperidone. Approx forty 0.5mg pills. My Parents caught me and called 911. At the hospital I was given charcoal and passed out, waking hours later. After being discharged I continued to take Sertraline as prescribed for 2 months. With no reduction in my anxiety and my emotions being basically non existant I decided to "take the good with the bad" and feel some kind of emotion. Over the next month and a half I slowly weaned myself off Sertraline. Popping open the capsule and throwing away 3-5 tiny XR beads a day. So that's my age, meds and taper strategy. How long it took to regain all my emotions and bodily functions is a hard one to answer. It took about 6 months before I felt much of anything. Then the bad emotions came back, sadness, anger. Slowly over the next two years I had many days that were blank and void of anything, days full of sadness, but also days where a light would shine and I would be happy. Feelings were coming back in waves and leaving again. I joined this website in late 2013 and at that point I had some emotional range, a libido but no sexual pleasure. So i guess it took about 3 years off medications to regain a good emotional range and my youthful lust. I'm finally writing this success story because in the past year the lack of sexual pleasure and anhedonia are not a problem for me anymore. The feelings slowly came back in waves, sometimes weak, but getting stronger and stronger. Now I feel great when I hug someone or see a friend smile. Sometimes the feelings can even be overwhelming. Like my heart is ready to burst. I don't know what else to add except, it's been almost 7 years since I took medications and I am a whole new person! Don't give up hope! Things are constantly changing, even if you don't notice. I didn't notice the change until it was right in my face!
  21. Hi, I was prescribed Risperdal .25mg, Klonopin.50mg and Trileptal 300mg all at the same time in September 2007. By 2013 a new psychiatrist had upped my doses to R 1.50mg, K .50mg and TRileptal 900mg and added Saphris 10mg. The original psychiatrist did not provide a diagnosis and I presented with what he called "Compulsivity Contol Issues". I didn't know this until requesting my medical records from this original psychiatrist from the state I used to live in. I requested the records May of 2016 after being completely disabled by the drugs. When I asked my then psychiatrist what my diagnosis was she said Bi Polar based on the drugs I told her I was taking when I came to her in 2009. I was blown away. Nowhere in my history before or after these drugs did I ever experience Bi Polar symptoms. The only thing that I ever told my psychiatrist was that my job was stressful and I wasn't coping and I didn't think the drugs were helping me but rather hurting me. She said I needed higher doses and upped all of my meds except the K. At that point I decided to taper off the drugs. I tapered myself off of the Saphris which took me from May 27th 2016 to November 19th, 2016. I didn't tell her what I was doing. When I asked her for help getting off of the rest of the drugs she told me to just stop taking them. I gave myself a break from tapering and started doing research on tapering correctly and am now reaching out to a forum. I found a psychiatric nurse who I told my story to and she agreed to help me get off the drugs. I had her prescribe the liquid form of risperidone and began my taper on Jan 5th 2017. I have 2 questions: 1. I know that tapering more than one drug at a time is not recommended but I have been reading the user Rhiannon's posts and looking at their signature and saw that they tapered more than one drug at once and was wondering what their method was. I'm not investigating this to get through the withdrawls faster but rather having to take all these poisons every night is causing me so much anxiety knowing that I can only knock one out at a time and I like the idea of working on all of them a little bit at a time (these would be micro cuts on all the drugs) 2. Does anyone know what happened to Rhiannon? I tried to send them a message and it gave me an error message saying something like they are no loner accepting messages. I just wondered if they finished and are no longer in the forum...? Any help greatly appreciated!!
  22. Hi! I'm from Philippines, 20 yrs. old, female. 3 yrs. ago I develop depression due to severe stress. It lasted 6 months. Now, again because of so much stress, I develop Mania, got delusions and psychosis. So I was admitted at the hospital and got injected that make me sleep.That was Feb. 2016. When I wake up, I feel nothing. I lost my personality, got anhedonia, lose focus and concentration! I wonder if anyone got there emotions and their normal life back. It's so frustrating cause Here I was, “The Joy Engineer” of all things, who could not feel joy! It was the ultimate irony. : (
  23. has anyone had an anti psychotic (or any drug) induced hyperprolactinemia AKA high prolactin? if so, how did you recover (what drug/supplement/vitamin did you use, diet, etc) or what are you doing to recover? for those who don't know, high prolactin causes infertility in both men and women causing women to miss periods and men to have erectile dysfunction. i assume my high prolactin was caused by risperidone because i haven't felt the same fertility wise ever since i took it. to treat my high prolactin, i am currently using an over the counter supplement called "vitex" which was recommended by John Gray. John Gray link:
  24. Hello friends, I am a 33-year old soul from Canada. I am biologically male and identify socially as such. English is my native language, though I have near-native fluency in French and some Spanish. A little over a year ago, I had posted a little bit about myself, including my horrific experience on Risperidone and other neuroleptics and the hellish place that I was at back then. It is with irrepressible elation, then, that I would like to tell you all what is now my wonderful story: Currently, I am nearly six months free of the scourge of Risperidone and other anti-psychotics and junk meds, I now drink alcohol less than I ever have at any point in my adult life, and I am 13 months clean of marijuana. Furthermore, by finally being able to discover and manage the devastating health condition that had crippled me for the first 33 years years of my life – namely one of the most severe cases of sleep apnea to have ever been diagnosed -- I have also overcome the cruel demons that had spent over 30 years not only sapping my cognitive strength, but also devastatingly undermining my emotional, social, spiritual, and physical well-being. I now feel better than I ever have: I feel happy, energetic, focused, and optimistic, all without the delusions and the manic or psychotic symptoms that I experienced the last time I felt this way. But the path that I took to reach this point and the anguish that I've had to endure for far too long to get here have been so relentlessly torturous that they are not something that I would even have wished on Adolf Hitler. For not only did I have to contend with severe undiagnosed sleep apnea for almost all of my life, but the changes that my CPAP therapy for the condition caused to my body and my mind led me to a severe episode of manic-psychosis, in spite of my only previous history of mental health problems having been a few months of intermittent panic attacks in 2005 that went away after my treating individual attacks with Lorazepam (ativan) for a few months. This condition, which is understandably difficult for psychiatrists and mental health professionals to understand and diagnose, occurs in some people upon getting treatment for severe sleep apnea and is known as CPAP-induced mania (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4208920/). While it is more common among patients with a prior history of bipolar disorder, the study that I just linked to shows that it has been observed on occasion in individuals with no prior history of severe mental illness. The psychotic attack led to my being hospitalized and put on meds that may have initially been a necessary evil given the acute severity of my condition, but the consequences of my having taken these meds and my having to deal with their corresponding side-effects led to a severe episode of depression, the complete decimation of my energy, motivation, libido (risperidone and then latuda), and sense of pleasure or fun, a case of Cotard's Syndrome that had lasted for over a year (I thought that I was dead and in the afterlife of Hell and that this was my punishment for the all wrong I had done in my life), and constant delusions of reference that kept feeding the Cotard's Syndrome. All of this led to a second hospitalization and a misdiagnosis of Bipolar 1 with co-morbid alcohol and marijuana dependencies. It is only by quitting all meds in June that I have been able to come out the other side in these past months. That said, I am grateful for the years of torment and, even more so, for the most acute suffering that I particularly endured this past year and a half: For if I were to have been blessed with the gifts with which I have been bestowed without first having had to suffer being constrained by the chains of misery, I would be sorely lacking in the empathy, in the perspective, and in the sense of justice that make me who I am today. Without the past year and a half, I would still be far too petty, far too angry, and far too weak and easily-rattled to achieve anything close to my potential. If I may plagiarize Stan Lee, I would have this great power without also having the awesome sense of responsibility that must come with such incredible strength. With this preamble out of the way, let's move on with the bulk of my story. It is probably quite long and taxing, and I'm not sure how much value it will have for others, but it's a story that I nonetheless desperately need to tell.
  25. Hello everyone I'm currently tapering Respiridone for the second time. The first time in 2013 in ignorance and without proportion guidance I tapered too quickly from 2 mg and I ended up relapsing with psychosis. My relapse was diagnosed as due to stress and insomnia but I experienced really strong withdrawal effects. I got better quickly and was on 1 mg Respiridone for about a year, my Dr wanted me to reduce earlier but I was moving house. for some reason I had been able to reduce from 1.5 mg to 1 mg without any problems but I hadn't been taking it for very long. I decided to try to taper in March 2015, switched to liquids and began my taper following advice I'd read on here to do things gradually. I was taking 0.5ml twice a day. I decided to try and reduce my morning dose in steps of 0.1ml. I know this is more than 10% sometimes but I find using the 1ml dosing syringe fiddly sometimes. Anyway I found the tapering ok but the main thing I suffer from is terrible insomnia, so often I'm exhausted and really struggling to go to work and concentrate. Sometimes sleep was worse around the time I made the cuts. Once I was convinced I heard a police car outside my house in the morning and was worried about psychosis relapse, but it didn't reoccur and had happened when I'd had no sleep for ages and had made a cut. I also sometimes dream when I'm awake, but not very often. Anyway sometimes I took much more than 4 weeks in between cuts. Finally got down to 0 5 ml a day this month. My periods stopped completely on Respiridone and although my Dr wasn't sure I was convinced it was due to the drugs. They thought I'd gone through the menopause- tests show I've got a menopausal profile. Anyway since tapering to 0.8ml day periods have restarted and are regular. I'm now facing tapering the last 0.5ml but am really nervous about it. Not setting a timeframe for it and will be making 10% cuts but it involves going off the drug completely if I tolerate it. I know it's not much to reduce from compared to the struggles people have faced here.Some friends have expressed concerns about me getting ill again. But I just want to be free of the drug if I can and try and get my sleep back on track naturally. I feel I can't cope with the insomnia for another year- it's been bad since I took 1 mg before my taper. I used to be very sociable but I'm much more withdrawn now. Been prescribed promethazine hydrochloride 10 mg for sleep which I take occasionally if I'm desperate, often it doesn't work.I've thought of asking my Dr about oestrogen but am worried about how that might interact with Respiridone.I now take fish oil and I've bought some vitamin B complex yesterday B6 and other B vitamins not B12 because I've read it can help insomnia but I'm a bit nervous about trying it because I've read on here it can be very activating. I don't want to be prescribed sleeping pills and get addicted to them. That's my story anyway thanks for reading and sorry it's so long. I've really enjoyed reading other people's posts on this site,it's an amazing site and everyone is so supportive. I don't feel I can talk to friends about this as they wont understand about withdrawal and most have never taken any meds. My Drs are very nice but they don't know much about it either and I can't see a psychiatrist over here because they class me as recovered and think the psychosis was due to stress and severe insomnia. So I've researched everything myself and my Dr just gives me the scripts.
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