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Found 7 results

  1. Hello everybody, First I would like to say that I am new here and hope to be able to contribute well in this forum. I apologize for any grammatical mistakes, I myself come from Germany and translate most via google. Now my story: (please read it, I'll try to be brief) I've been dealing with genital numbness long before I've ever taken a psychotropic drug. I have had pronounced depression and anxiety since around 2012. My first antidepressant was fluoxetine, which I gave myself in the summer of 2015. I loved it at first: it did not make me feel negative things so strong but I was not a "zombie". It also seemed to improve my genital numbness, all worked fine. In conjunction with alcohol, it gave me a wonderful, light feeling that I will never forget. In the spring of 2016, I switched to fluvoxamine, as fluoxetine barely helped me against anxiety, and the effect seemed to be abating in general. I call it about a year until the spring of 2017. Since this also only weakly helped against fears, and also hardly any effect, I put it off. A few days later, I got genital feeling numbness, but at the time I still had a girl and a strong libido. I first came across PSSD but thought maybe my depression just came back and PSSD is a scientific hyphenation. The numbness improved fortunately within 2-3 months, at the end of the year my libido and feeling was more intense than ever. All I had to do was look at a woman's back and was excited. My experience with drugs was rather positive until then. Now comes the misery: In a clinic (where my libido was so good) I had Trazodone prescribed. I had constant sleep disturbances and fears, depression was well under control. I took 100 mg for one week, I got restless legs syndrome and could hardly sleep. My libido was fast in the basement, as I've never known it in my life. I did not know sexual discomfort until then. I still could get an erection, but orgasm was not so intense and my sperm was waterier than usual. I thought (unfortunately) I let the drug adjust something to my system. From the second week on was dosed to 200 mg, I was finally able to sleep. But I became so dizzy and generally uncomfortable with Trazodone. I really felt like a zombie, almost remotely controlled. It felt like acid was eating through my spine, as soon as I took the pills on my tongue she became numb. I also got spontaneous erections, but when I tried to do it on purpose, it barely worked. So I set off Trazodone after 9 days (7 * 100mg, 2 * 200mg). My worst nightmare came true: I got genital numbness, my libido just did not return. I also noticed an emotional numbness. Now I know that PSSD really exists. I hate myself for getting myself into these pills again. All I wanted to do was sleep again and not have any constant anxiety attacks anymore. The withdraw is now soon 3 months ago. I still have almost no libido, and genital numbness. Also sometimes testicular pain. I feel cold and warmth, and pain, but hardly any normal touch. I tried St. John's Wort with Ginkgo and Maca, I had some emotional and libido windows but I stopped because my d*ck went more numb. Now I'm taking chlorella, curcumin, green tea and maca. Sometimes I feel something like arousal again, but it's hardly fun because it feels so numb. I sometimes have brain zaps too, is that a good sign? I want my life back I never thought that my life would be so changed by 11 stupid pills from ******* pahrma mafia. regards
  2. I just happened upon this site and I am really glad for this resource. I am attempting my second taper off Effexor right now. I just started trying to go off 150 mg (I actually decreased from 225 about 2 years ago and never had the courage to try). I started seeing a therapist who practices energy psychology and feel I have the support now to give this another try. Already I feel tired, foggy, off balance and have had a headache for the last 24 hours (only on day two). I am taking 75 mg every other day instead of 150. The Effexor has capsules so it’s hard to cut down so slowly unless you’re a chemist. It feels good to have a place that other people are going through the same thing I am, and it’s good to know other people acknowledge how hard this can be., My doctor certainly did not warn me the first time I tried (going from 225 to 0 in about a month). Wish me luck...
  3. Hi everyone, I'm new here. Im 19, hoping to one day become a doctor, but right now that seems impossible. I have always been very bad with medicine, i forget to take them, or i just don't care enough to take them. In my junior year of high-school 2015, I had a suicide attempt which put me 2 weeks in the hospital and on prozac, I don't remember the dose. I stopped taking it cold turkey after one week it made me feel fake happy, I felt like I was faking everything. Then I finally got myself a good psychologist, and a " meh" psychiatrist which led me down a road of several antidepressants, , most of the time I just took the medicine for 2 days to a week, and then stopped cold turkey. I would fake symptoms and tell my psychiatrist I was doing fine on them when in reality I was not taking any of them. I did his with Cymbalta, Effexor, and Douloxetine, I think thats what its called. Then I was put on pristiq, again, it made me fake happy, so I stopped after a month, I never had bad side effects from quitting, just starting them was what made me have all sorts of shaking and vomiting etc. This summer, I had another breakdown, turns out I have OCD, well i was put on Paxil, surprisingly I had no side effects coming into it. It was great I was feeling better. I took it for a week and a half or maybe 2 and then i started forgetting to take it. After a week or so of not taking it I started to feel aroused all the time. like the slightest touch or sexual thing would make me want to "have some fun" with myself. It was weird. I felt very odd about it because for like the past month I had been anything but sexual, I was actually very afraid of sex. and the medication had made me numb down there. Then i started getting tingles in my lady parts, they felt inside me, and I was also peeing a lot which made the tingles kinda hurt. So I took a UTI test..... I have a UTI.... but I would get weird throbbing and tingling inside me as well, and in my lower back and in my anus, it was very odd. I searched up what it could be and PGAD came up, I read all the suicide stories and people that had it for years with no relief I was so worried I would soon start having uncontrollable orgasms. I began to check and hyperfocus on my lady parts. I started taking Paxil again, 4 days later it was gone but I was left so worried it would come back, i became hyper aware of my lady bits. for 3 days I was okay.... then i started feeling aroused, I was scared, i didn't know whether it was PGAD or me being me. I cant orgasm at all. then some tingling by my clitoris after I peed sometimes. sometimes its slight twinges inside me, or feeling "stimulated" when i cross my legs even loud noises make me twinge down there....Its not as bad as when I was "withdrawing" but still Im so scared it will come back one day. Anyway . Im stuck. Do I get off the meds? what if the PGAD comes back? I really don't know what to do. Im starting university again in a week and Im so scared.
  4. I have been on Zoloft since 2001 and recently two months ago I stopped taking it cold turkey. Ever since then I have been suffering from loss of appetite? Has anyone else experienced that? I am never hungry anymore and I have lost about 6 pounds since. Also, I have experience the worst acne in my life. Break out pimples all over my forehead and chin. I was recently at the doctors because I was having breast pain for an entire month. She told me that it was because of the withdraw from the Zoloft that essentially my body was going through puberty again? I was wondering if anyone else had a hormonal imbalance after quiting Zoloft? Or is it just me? Thank you!
  5. Hi everyone, I am a 39-year old male. I've been taking bupropion or wellbutrin on and off since I was 26. In college, I was diagnosed with ADD and depression and tried a variety of drugs until the mix of ritalin and wellbutrin worked well (around 26, like I said). I say on and off, because I'm in the habit of frustrating psychiatrists by quitting cold turkey. This usually happens when things are going well in my life, and lasts until I hit a bump in the road. About two years ago, I had a bit of a breakthrough with cognitive behavioral therapy and meditation, though I stayed on the bupropion - 300mg, SR. I'd stopped taking the ritalin around three years ago, after experiencing regular episodes of tachycardia, on top of being fed up with the "speediness." I'm joining this forum and writing this post because I'd like to break this cycle and quit this thing for good. 1.) I'm concerned about the long-term effects 2.) I'm fairly certain I'm mature enough to get along without it, at least mentally. And I don't enjoy the edginess it makes me feel. 3.) Which leaves fear of the physical side-effects of withdrawal as the only reason to stay on the thing, which is a pretty sh*tty reason to take a mysterious substance with unknown long-term consequences every damn day of your life. I stopped again two weeks ago, when my refills ran out. I'm doing ok with the fatigue and my mood is actually better (less anxiety), but the mental fog has been an embarrassing issue at work. In fact the mental fog is my number one concern. It's not all day - there are ebbs and flows to my concentration. But when it's bad, it's bad. To put a finer point on it: I work in a creative field. I've been at my current job for just over six months, and it's a high-powered dream job. I'm doing well - just got a raise and some more responsibility, but I've never been optimal. By stopping the bupropion, I feel like I'm trading anxiety and edginess for spaciness. When my mental fog is bad, it doesn't seem to affect the higher-level creative aspects of my work, but my ability to tackle the linear, administrative, and social side of work suffers immensely (remembering who said what at which meeting, doing quick arithmetic, making small talk). I can also be little bit uncoordinated, and maybe stumble over my words a bit. It all sounds a little like your classic "absent-minded professor" stereotype, except when it's happening, it feels like there's something physically wrong in my brain. Like low-blood sugar or some other deficiency. As I'm writing this, I'm realizing this feeling I'm describing is the reason I was prescribed anti-depressants in the first place years ago. (emotional frustration at these severe ebbs in concentration) I asked my last psychiatrist over and over again what caused this base condition: no good answer, just that bupropion empirically seems to "fix" it. A blood test a year and a half ago showed everything ok but a vitamin D deficiency and I've been supplementing ever since. I didn't expect to write so much, and I guess I don't have a clear question for anyone. But if anyone would like to share, I'd love to hear similar experiences. Please don't beat me up too bad for going cold-turkey.
  6. Which "me" is the real me?

    SEE ALSO: identity-crisis creating-a-new-self-after-withdrawal Today I saw my therapist, who is very wary of my desire to go off of Prozac. She reminded me of how much I suffered the last time I withdrew from an SSRI. She reminded me that I cried every day, felt incompetent at work, and couldn't find joy in any of the things I normally find joy in. One of the driving forces behind my wish to be free of antidepressants once and for all is my strong sense that I am not my true or "real" self when I am medicated. I find myself thinking that my emotions are blunted and somewhat numbed. My libido is gone. I rarely cry. Who is this woman? I am easy to get along with. I am confident and relaxed at work. I am a patient, loving, fun mother. Is that the real me? If it's not "real" because I am taking a drug that changes me, then is it better than the real me? I think my husband likes me more this way. I think I like myself more this way. So why would I choose to alter myself by going off of the drug again? There is a big part of me that believes that in my previous attempts at discontinuing my drugs, I never gave myself enough time to get beyond the withdrawal. My therapist pointed out that three months after I went off of Lexapro, last year, I was still suffering. She thought that was a long time. She doesn't want to see me suffer, and I appreciate that. But since visiting S.A., I see that three months wasn't long at all, in the scheme of things. I still wasn't the "real me" after three months. I was "withdrawal me." That "me" without meds was also not "real", because I was still under the influence of the medication, or loss thereof. I also started drinking, in the past, when I was suffering from withdrawal. That me isn't the "real" me. Drunk isn't real. I want to go forward with this, but I am really pondering these questions, and wondering what other people here think. Are you more "real" without a drug? Is it better to be real, even if you are less happy, struggle more with relationships or work or self-esteem? Is there virtue of some kind in being real?
  7. Hello, I came across this site and im hoping I can just vent to you guys and get to know some people who may be going through something similar to what I am going through. So, a little about my situation: I'm 23 years old, I was in an abusive relationship for two years, in this relationship I was physically abused, sexually abused but most importantly, I was psychologically and emotionally abused. I FINALLy grew the courage to leave. I was in therapy after that to deal with the aftershock of everything that happened to me. One day I went to my family doctor and told him about what happened to me and that I had panic attacks and anxiety. He prescribed Lexapro. After five or six weeks of being on the drug I noticed I was starting to look like a cow. (and after FINALLY having reached my goal weight before going on lexapro, this was heart breaking) I went to my doctor and told him I wanted to go off of the drug... He told me to take half of a pill (5mg.) per day for five days and to go off of it entirely after. Well, five days of 5mg. and then two days of nothing and on the night of the seccond lexapro free day I tried to commit suicide by cutting myself and overdosing on a bunch of different drugs. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SUICIDAL! Never, never, ever! I have always been able to handle things. I dont want to die! I have never wanted to die! I was in the hospital for 4 days and I didnt feel better untill they put me back on lexapro. I am not suicidal! It had never even crossed my mind! So what in the world happened to me!?!?!? They quickly diagnosed me with depression... and so ive been back on lexapro for another 7 weeks... and getting fatter by the day! im trying to keep an eye on what I eat, and im trying to excersize! im trying everything but I keep getting bigger.... its making me so depressed... Im going to talk to my doctor tomorrow and ask him to take me off of it and put me on something else... I know I should be happy that im better menatlly and to just endure the weight gain but its just so heart breaking to me because I have been struggling with my weight since I was about 12 years old! If I had never gone on lexapro, I would probably be in a better place than where I am today. I should have just done things how I am used to doing them and that is medication-free and just by being tough... Lexapro made me such a coward.... I tried to end my life! so pathetic!!! I FINALLY was able to wear a bikini and feel amazing in it... well, that feeling didnt even last a week... because I went on lexapro the same week I reached my goal weight. I hate lexapro, I want to go off of it ASAP. At least now I have a good doctor who is actually a psychiatrist and not a family doc.) Ive learned to ALWAYS see a PSYCHIATRIST if you are taking ANY psychotic drugs. I hope and pray I can loose the weight.... its a huge deal for me... Ive gained almost 30 lbs in 3 months. xoxo Kayem

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