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  1. I had been on Ziprexa 5 mg for about 4 years. Believe it or not a Dr prescibed this to me to help with chronic fatigue syndrome. I stopped taking it over 3 months ago cold turkey. Call me naïve but I new nothing about tapering off or withdrawal. I am learning the hard way. I am having horrible insomnia since I stopped the medication. It is now that I am learning that my insomnia is a result of stopping the medication. Sleeping pills are not working for me. I have tried prescription and non prescription from Ambien, Temazepan, Xanax etc to benadryl and the likes and all king of natural remedies. I found taking 600 mg of Gabapentin helped me sleep a little bit more but it stopped working after a few days. I am scared. I don't know what to do at this point to get well again and if it is ever going to happen. I have lost my job because I can no longer function. I am too exhausted from the lack of sleep. I read that is too late for me to go back into taking the medication to relieve the withdrawal symptoms. What can I do at this point to relieve my symptoms? Please help. I hope to find some guidance on this forum. Thanks
  2. Hi. I was at psyc ward after psychosis and my sleep was not perfect so i was put on zyprexa. I accepted to get out of there. I was on 20mg 2days then 10mg for 10days until i was released. When released I stopped cold turkey and and waited 3-4weeks before withdrawals came. Worst was my complete insomnia.. didnt sleep for 7 days so i had to reinstate. I went back on last dose 10mg. Immediately i felt it was a bad idea but i had to sleep. i tried to taper it off over a month. I had all side effects you could think so finally I just stopped again and used sleep pills to beat insomnia. Problem now 6months later(stopped oct2015) is that i still have insomnia. barely sleeps at all(1-4hrs) What advice do you guys have? From what ive read, this forum advice me to start on a small dose and taper from there am i right? I really dont want to reinstate since it slmost killed me but i dont know how to solve this either..
  3. Well, here it goes. I was on Zoloft for 8 years following a year of intense anxiety after my 1st son was born. I generally felt good on Zoloft, though I would have blips in which I would up or lower my dose and I would balance back out. For the majority of the 8 years I was on 50mgs (the "lowest" dose according to my doctor). Well almost exactly a year ago I was doing so well, and figured since I was on the "lowest" dose I would simply stop taking it. Felt a little weird (light-headed, tearing up for no reason, spacey) for about 3 weeks, then I felt normal. Had a great holiday season with my family and so happy to be off meds and doing well. I started to feel a little bit of an anxiety blip at the end of February and figured I would be proactive and resume my 50 mgs of Zoloft for the rest of the winter, then get off again in the spring or summer...then disaster struck. I woke up the next morning with my mind racing, feeling like adrenal glands had been switched to overdrive, and 10 months later, I still haven't been able to turn them down. From the 1st night of taking the Zoloft I have not had a day without a huge wave on anxiety hitting me at some point. For most of these 10 months I have been waking at 4-5 AM with anxiety bordering or exceeding panic. Since I was prescribed the Zyprexa, I still wake feeling "keyed up" but it is not as bad and not as early (usually don't wake til 7 or 7:30AM). I was on the Zoloft for 6 weeks, being told that it can increase anxiety at the start, but then it will subside and I will go back to normal. When that didn't happen at 6 weeks I was told Lexapro works faster and is better for anxiety anyway...so I started it. One week at 5mgs then 10mgs for 7 weeks. When that didn't help I decided "enough of these meds, I have never had anxiety this bad, I will just get off." Well unfortunately my month off of Lexapro was no better, still waking early, still having extreme anxiety, wondering what the heck had happened to me. I was talked into giving Paxil a try by my doctor saying "it was the least activating" of the SSRIs and it could actually help me sleep...I didn't and I really felt no different on it than the other two. After two months of Paxil and feeling no better the doctor decided I just hadn't got to a "therapeutic" dose of Paxil for my severe anxiety, so he recommended going up to 40 and then if no improvement 60 on Paxil, in the meantime he gave me Zyprexa to help sleep and morning panic. To be honest I have been better since August, I am assuming the Zyprexa is calming down my overactive nervous system, but I am far from "stable." I went to 60 MGs of Paxil and felt a little better than I did at 40 for a week or two (probably placebo) then back to how I have felt since August (which admittedly is much better than Spring and Early Summer). Since I don't think the Paxil is helping, and actually may be "activating" and counteracting the Zyprexa (I hate even typing Zyprexa, I NEVER thought I would ever take an anti-psychotic, but here I am, and unfortunately I have to admit it has helped) I want to go lower and off the Paxil. From looking over this site it seems I have attempted what you would call a "reinstatement" of Paxil, that clearly hasn't worked. Seems I have four choices and would welcome and recommendations you could give. 1. Stay at 50mgs of Paxil with the 2.5mgs of Zyprexa hoping I will "stabilize" even though I haven't yet in my two months at both 40mgs and 60mgs of Paxil. 2. Realize the Paxil has never helped me and could in fact be "activating" and further hurting my chances to let my brain heal from my Zoloft CT and simply quit. 3. Go back up to 60mgs of Paxil and stay there until I "stabilize" even though I am two-months at this dose with no sign of leveling out. 4. Slowly wean myself off the Paxil, even though I am not stable as it is just a likely it is doing as much harm as good. I have read on this site that I shouldn't get off the Zyprexa until after dealing with the Paxil as it is a "brakes" medication and could help with whatever has happened to me this year. I really hate that I am taking Zyprexa and honestly the side-effect profile terrifies me, I have already gained about 15 lbs, but noticed this quickly and have been able to maintain my weight at 205 at 6'2", so it isn't a HUGE problem...yet. I welcome any thoughts, opinions, and insights. I have been very impressed with this site and am learning a lot about what has happened to me and what may be the best course of action moving forward.
  4. Moderator note: link to benzo forum thread - Miko789: Xanax withdrawal/tapering Hi, I'm new to the forum, I have some questions I want to ask. My doctor prescribed effexor for depression, in 2009. Now I'm free of symptoms and I managed to come off with withdrawal symptoms though. That's with the antidepressant. Now I'm on Risperdal consta from November 2013 and seroxat 10mg. My doctor prescribed with risperdal consta 3,3mg/day long acting injection every two weeks. From February 2015 he lowered the dosage to 25mg/every 2 weeks equals 1,66mg/day. I tried to lower the seroxat 10mg but after 40-45h I have withdrawal symptoms vertigo, dizziness. Is it possible to cut down seroxat? How about the Risperdal consta (long acting injection). Has anyone tapered off completely without withdrawals? I read about the 10% harm reduction procedure to taper off and I'm going to tell my doctor and follow. thanks in advance
  5. Hello I recently withdrew from two psychiatric medications, Zoloft (Sertraline)and Zyprexa (Olanzapine) after a 15 year forced dependency which started when I was court-ordered to take them in 1998 for depression. In Feb. 2014, I finally quit the pills for the 4th and final time. The withdrawal symptoms were quite severe, probably similar to those of heroin, only instead of the people who care for you trying to help you get off the drugs, in the case of psych meds., everyone is dead set on you continuing to stay on them. I went about 6 straight days without sleep while trying to get off the pills, constantly throwing up all over my apartment (my parents had to bring over a steam cleaner to clean up all the huge piles of vomit, while at the same time admonishing me to go back on the meds.) I developed extreme lightheadedness. When I would turn my head to look at something it would take a moment or two for my field of vision to catch up. I suffered from those brain shocks which I thought might be some suppressed memories of the many rounds of ECT that were administered to me, against my will, back in the mid 1990's. I nearly died on a couple of occasions during the withdrawal as my blood sugar levels plunged so low that I was forced to crawl to my kitchen and shove wadded-up pieces of white bread soaked in either oyster sauce, fish sauce or salad dressing (for proteins and sugars) into my mouth to avoid collapsing on the floor, but somehow I did it, I got clean. I had kicked the pills cold turkey three times previously (twice in 2004 and again for 10 months in 2005-6) only to be put back on them. The last time in 2005-6, I had been given the choice of either taking the pills and being given a bed in a local group home on a 0° F January evening or else to go rough it in a snowbank (I had been evicted from my apt. after falling a month behind in rent). The pills (Zoloft originally at 200mg that on my own advice I scaled back to 100mg at the time of my withdrawal. Zyprexa originally at 17.5mg that I had reduced to 10mg) basically ruined my health. Within a couple of years of starting on the meds in 1998, I had gone from a lithe and slender 6' tall 160 lbs man to a portly 230 pounder,, with all the weight gain going into my belly and thighs (Blech!). My cholesterol and triglyceride levels tripled. I had copious amounts of diarrhea daily. My blood pressure was absolutely wrecked. When kneeling down or squatting on my haunches, at say a grocery store or maybe a bookstore, to look at something on a low shelf, upon rising I would start to nearly black-out or swoon due to massive head rushes and would have to hold on to shelving for about a minute or so until I regained my vision and sense of balance. And from about 2006 on, I became no more than some sluggish, gorging hibernating animal that slept between 12 and 16 hours a day, sometimes as much as 20 hrs a day (watching T.V. was my only other occupation) where I would hardly more than move from my bed to the couch only to fall asleep 3 hours later for upwards of 4-6 hours, sometimes for as much as 10 hours. I was sleeping so much that when I woke, I often had no idea if it was early morning or late evening. I would have the most awful and depressing nightmares of being strapped into a dentist's chair while doctors would be cramming every conceivable pill down my throat in an attempt to kill me. The sedative-like effects of the drugs, combined with a horrible and untreated case of sleep apnea due to smoking and a severely broken nose as a teenager, left me completely fatigued all the time. I usually only left my apartment once a week to stock up on groceries. Since the harrowing experience of withdrawal, my health and spiritual well-being have greatly improved. I began a 4-6 mile a night brisk walking regiment and starting biking between 10-20 miles a day which resulted in me losing 45 lbs in 3 months. While before on the pills, I could hardly stay awake, now I can barely get to sleep. My insomnia is sometimes so bad (3-4 hrs of sleep a day, often none) that I resemble a real live? zombie (I call my condition, Inzombia) but considering how low my spirits had been on the pills, I'm just happy to live an active life again, even if I do suffer bouts of sleeplessness. I've spent several hundred hours since early last year either volunteering picking up trash from local parks and lakes or else helping out at a local thrift store and my creative spirit has flourished. I have filled something like 15 fifty page notebooks full of my poetry (both of a serious and humorous nature) and have written many short pieces of memoir, one of which is entitled In Servitude to the Devil, and is about my nearly indescribable and entirely hellish experience in 1995-1996, when for six months, I suffered from brain damage and akathisia brought on by the forced administration of Resperdine, Prozac and Paxcil. I thought I might end this piece with two short poems of mine The Psychiatrist His pills amount to fool's gold; his lab-coat: starched and anti-sceptically white He professes to be a doctor, but he's a neuro-nazi in my sight. A Reflection On Our Times So much lust and vanity under the sun Surely God is our pariah as we have our fun.
  6. Hi, I have been on olanzapine since December 2014 (2.5 years). I started at 10 mgs, then went to 5 mgs after 2 months. I then dropped to 2.5 mgs. Last August, I started 1.25 mgs day and stayed there until July 2017. I am now doing .625 mg/day since July 6. I am cutting this from a 5 mg pill. I am on no other medications. I stopped seeing my psychiatrist last Aug. I lost my insurance then. I have been doing really well and feel like I will be ok coming off. Even when I was seeing the doctor, I told him I could not stay on this forever as I've gained 30 lbs and I am afraid of diabetis, the dulled effect to my personality and other side-effects. I lapsed into a depression that lasted a few months when dropping under 2.5 mg. I felt with absolute certainty that it was caused from tapering down the medication and not a return of any illness. The depression lifted suddenly back in the spring and I've felt more like my old self than I have in years. The only side-effect I seem to have right now from the taper is difficulty sleeping some nights. It's not every night...probably 3 nights a week that I wake up several times in the night. I don't know where to put my question but I'd like to know if anyone has successfully come off olanzapine (Zyprexa) and when they did the final jump. I am taking such a small crumb of pill that I don't think I can cut it anymore. I am thinking that my next step will be to do .625 every other night. I feel happier today than I ever did while on olanzapine. It depressed the heck out of me and blunted my emotions greatly. I look at this tiny crumb I take every night and wonder if it is doing anything at all. Can anyone direct me where to go to post my questions? Thank you!
  7. Evoldnahturt

    Evoldnahturt

    The relevant facts of my life: - I've had trouble sleeping all of my life, I'm usually sleep deprived. - I'm anxious off and on, usually on. Often times the anxiety gets bad. I've been like this for at least 15 years. Probably, at least to some extent, most of my life - I believe I may have been depressed most of my childhood. It got bad in my late teens and has improved, but remained. - My diet has been terrible all my life. No fruits or veggies. Just processed junk. - I was put on Ritalin when I was a kid and took it for many years. It caused me to develop ticks that have gotten better, but pop up sometimes, especially when I'm stressed. - I became suicidal in my late teens and was put on a lot of different medications. None of them worked and I didn't stay on them long. - I took between 2.5mg to 5mg (because I was too lazy to cut the pill in half at times) of Zyprexa for about 14 years starting when I was around 19. - I took Prozac for many years starting at around age 19 and quit CT with no problems several years ago. - I used alcohol off and on over the years. I quit for a long while before it quit getting me high. I noticed that it started working again after I quit Prozac. I started drinking again heavily for a few months, and then once or twice a week off and on after that. - On rare occasion I would pick up a small batch of pain pills. I usually used 5mg-10mg of Hydrocodone, but a couple of times I went overboard. - I used other miscellaneous pills on rare occasion in my late teens. - I smoked marijuana daily for many years and slowed down to a few times a month over the past few years, near the end it was usually just when I was out in nature. I recently quit smoking completely. I don't believe it was causing problems, but I've decided it's not worth the risk. - I was bulimic for over a decade and quit over a year ago. Summary of my withdrawal: 1.25mg weighs 47.5mgpw (mgpw = milligrams pill weight) when weighed on a scale (I use a GEMINI-20). I dropped to 47.5mgpw (1.25mg, quarter of a pill) for somewhere between a few months up to a year. I started quickly tapering sometime around or soon after September 2015. At first I was able to cut my dosage quickly, but things got rough at times and I ending up having to jump back up almost to where I was before I started reducing my dosage. I kept lowering my dosage, often getting to zero, and then raising it again when things got too difficult. I did this for about five months. My first symptoms were pressure in my head, a loss of feeling throughout my body, and fear. Sometimes, I believe, the fear was caused by the other side-effects. However, sometimes I experienced the sensation of fear out of nowhere without being afraid of anything. I usually would then become afraid of the sensation of fear getting worse. In retrospect, I believe these and other effects were triggered or worsened by my taking (at different times) Xanax, Omeprazol, Hydrocodone, and alcohol during Zyprexa withdrawal. It quickly became clear that alcohol was causing me to become fearful, because the effect was immediate. I haven't used alcohol directly since near the beginning of this process. I did, however, use it in the form of Zzzquill, which caused hypnic jerks with the sensation of fear while drifting off to sleep all night. I ended up realizing that Xanax was also causing problem, after using it throughout most of my withdrawal. I later tested using Hydrocodone to see if I could at least handle pain meds. It caused me to feel the sensation of fear while falling asleep that night. Things got really difficult the days leading up to 2-14-16. One of my step-brothers drove me to my mother's where I stayed for a week and a half. I ended up increasing my dose to 142mgpw (3.75mg, 3/4 of a pill). While I was at my mom's, I saw her doctor to get some lab-work done as well as a neurologist. The neurologist did an MRI scan of my brain. A benign lesion was found, but nothing else. The lab-work all looked fine except for the fact that my good cholesterol was low. My mother has been very supportive, but my family has had a hard time believing that these issues were caused by the medication, which baffles me, but I'm very grateful that they're supportive. I've been surprised by how unsupportive many families can be. I have reduced my dosage by 10% a month (calculated from the previous month's dosage) since then. I held for two months initially. My symptoms quickly got better at first and have slowly continued to improve. I can't tell if they're still improving or not. I'm holding at my current dosage for at least another month next month, probably longer. I was initially eager to get my dosage down, I now realize that I should probably slow down to be safe. I'm currently at 104mgpw. I've decided to avoid all other medications for as long as possible. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if something happens where I need medication. I'm also not sure how long I want this taper to last. Stories like Mapleleafgirl's (4 year taper, got very sick 20 months after the taper) make me want to take longer than my body tells me to, like six or eight years. I'm very grateful that I'm doing as well as I am and that reinstating Zyprexa has made things much better, but I got past my breaking point in just a few months with much less severe issues than what many of you are dealing with. I don't understand how you can take it. I have a stronger will to live after going through this, but not strong enough to suffer like that for years. I would have to kill myself and I can't stand the thought of doing that to my mom while she's still alive. The stories on here, what's happened to me, and the fact that I'm still not fully healed after four months of taking a larger dose really scares me. I'm a lot better and what's persisted is manageable, but I figured I would have healed by now. I promise that however this turns out, I'll provide you guys with updates over the years. Symptoms I've experienced: - Pressure in head - Burning sensation throughout my body, especially in my thighs and legs - Arm, leg, upper body, finger, or hand jolts (especially when falling asleep) (Hypnic jerk?), I've had this, to some extent, for many years, but it got worse during withdrawal - Tingling, numbness - Pins and needles (especially when falling asleep) - Knots and frequent noise in stomach - Extreme difficulty swallowing food (briefly before I increased to 142mgpw) - Irregular heart beats - A very hard heart pump that makes me tense up (not as frequent now) - Ringing in an ear (not very often these days) - Pressure in an ear - Tachycardia, especially when getting sleepy, falling asleep, and twice while asleep (woke me up) - Blurred vision when waking up as well as dizziness (this persisted throughout the process of weaning off of Zyprexa, it stopped when I increased to 142.5mgpw (3.75mg)) - Burred vision and dizziness outside of waking up in the morning, this wasn't very frequent - Muscles twitching, like after a workout, but more frequent - Akathisia - Insomnia, I've always been an insomniac, but it got much worse in the beginning and then got back to normal early-in - My mind has been slipping. I'll say things that don't make sense. I'll say I'm hot when I'm cold. I take a long time to come up with a response. This has been the case for years - Other things that I couldn't describe. I've found that if I can't describe something, I forget about what it was like eventually.
  8. I am posting this on behalf of my husband who is quite unwell. I am in a very vunerable place watching my husband deteriorate so please be kind. We are in our 60's and have never experienced anything like this. My husband was administered antidepressants for depression over 30 years ago and has remained on antidepressants all this time. I cannot recall what they started him on but maybe 8 years ago he was moved to Effexor XR 75mg. When it was increased to 150mg - we noticed a lack of feeling and low libido. We discussed the idea of coming off the Effexor XR and did this with the aid of high quality supplements - tapering by reducing the beads over a year. There were horrible side effects - nausea, high anxiety and then the concentration started to be impacted. After six months of being off the Effexor XR he deteriorated very quickly to the point where he became Psychotic and he couldn't get his brain to think how to get himself into the shower. It was like his brain had frozen. He kept saying I am losing it! Unfortunately he was admitted to the Psychiatric Ward where they administered 10mg Olanzepine and 75mg Effexor XR then increased it up to 150mg. He was released after three weeks. He was on Olazepine for about three months and the Psychiatrist reduced him off that. Because he is still not stable the Psychiatrist was not sure whether to increase or reduce his medication. He has gone for the latter and we are administering 112mg every other day at around 10am this is our 3rd day (eg 150mg one day 112mg the next and so on). I am monitoring him closely and notice that he is so much more responsive in the morning and quite normal, although says he feels really tired. His memory and concentration has been affected. He has blurred vision. After his medication is given I notice he begins pacing, not as responsive to talking and becomes quite anxious. The Psychiatrist says he has had a relapse and has major depression. I don't know who to believe anymore but I just want my husband well again. Please help?
  9. Around sept 2012 I stopped taking Zyprexa 15 mg cold turkey. I did it because I gained 30 pounds in around 4 months. When I quit Zyprexa, I started with a lot of crying, anxiety, panic attacks, lack of appetite and insomnia. I did not sleep for three days in a row and then I slept for about three days, after that I never ever slept again naturally. I am never sleepy, never tired, never hungry (the other symptoms disappeared). I am always wide awake even after sleeping 2 -3 hours a day and some days just 1 hour. I have tried geodon, trazodon, clonopin and other medicines that I can't remember now, nothing helps, some of those meds helped me sleep some hours and then stopped working. Gabapentin was the only medication that made me sleep around 5 - 6 hours . I started with 600 mg, but after some months on that dosis, it stopped working. Now they put me on 1200 mg of gabapentin, but I have not noticed any improvement, I am only sleeping 2 -3 hours (very irregular). The only change on all these months is that now I am not dreaming so much as the beginning of the nightmare, I am having more hours of deep sleep. In 2012 I was feeling so bad and I was so ignorant about psychotropic drugs that I trusted my doctors when they told me that my insomnia and all the symptoms were for the chemical imbalance and not Zyprexa related. I took the new medications (lamictal and geodon) without complaining After two years of this nightmare I have read a lot looking for answers, help, support and a cure for my insomnia. I have found a lot of people describing the same thing, going through the same nightmare. I have not found a logical explanation or a cure. Some people have started sleeping better without help of any medication after some months, some after 22 months, there are other that have been like this for 6 years already. Some have been put back on very low dosis of Zyprexa (for some this worked, for others it didn't). My plan is: zero coffee or chocolate, a balanced diet, I try to eat turkey, bananas, do exercises. I always go to bed at the same time and take the gabapentin at the same time. I try not to use the computer or electronic 2 -3 hours before bed time. I take a warm bath before going to bed, read a book, drink warm milk. I read in other forums that a scientist at Harvard found that there is still Zyprexa binded to receptors after 6 months that the person has stopped taking it. Maybe I just need more time, my brain need time to heal and recover. Could be possible that Zyprexa permanent damage my brain? Could be possible that the anxiety and stress response went haywire on my body? Why I am never sleepy or hungry? sorry for my English skills, English is not my first language
  10. hi, Alto I went to a local pharmacy and they helped me to compound 2.5mg pill into 2.mg. but they changed it into a capsul form. would that make a difference. now my son is taking 2.5 pill and 2capsule. what you think. the pharmacist said it is fine.
  11. Hello I always wanted to return to the site and thank all that helped me in the dark hours and also the forum owner and originator for the tireless work that has helped so many people Heres my thread when I first asked for help http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6865-andy-hello-tapering-from-zyprexa/ I wont go into how I finally quit the drug because it wasnt the normal 10% approach although I tried 5 times and failed miserably.I found a good understanding doctor who helped me reduce and more than anything listened to me without prejudice.This helped enormously,I finally jumped off at 1.25mg and to be honest it wasnt to bad,by far the worst reduction was going just under 2.5mg,I had severe migraines ,nausea,heart palpitations,sickness,depression,mania,mood swings and relentless insomnia.The insomnia was by far the worst symptom as it made me anxious and very irritable ,all this while trying to be a good father and holding down a very stressful and demanding job.Of all the drugs I was put on Zyprexa was the hardest to quit,it was hell and back but it can be done I have recently started my Taekwondo training again that I practiced for over 15 years but couldnt while I was on this terrible drug,I now feel calmer and sleep well.I put on over 3 stone while on zyprexa even though I ate a well balanced diet,I felt lethargic and had no interest in life,that has all changed and the weight is coming off steadily. Excercise has been the most helpful tonic for me and even when I had had zero sleep I went to my class and worked out.It slowly but steadily improved my sleep and made me feel confident again that I could get over all of this,when you start to see improvements you start to see light at the end of the tunnel Things are heading in the right direction and my outlook on life is positive once again.I feel good Once again thankyou for all your help and for people just starting the journey dont ever give in it can be done,god bless you all Andy
  12. Hello: I am new to this forum. I am tapering zyprexa. I was put on 10 mg in the hospital at the beginning of December. In the first week of January, I cut down to 8.50, then 7.5. for 10 days. Right now I am at 6.25 mg, and have been at that level for 1 week. They decided to put me on zoloft in the hospital as it "works fast" the doctors said, and is being used "until the zoloft kicks in". I am very impatient to get off zyprexa, and figured if I join your group, I would get support from people to help me be patient and wait enough time between cuts. Still figuring out how to do the signature. Will add it when I do. I am also on a whopping dose of 200 mg Zoloft, also given in the hospital. Before that, I had been 6 months free of Zoloft after tapering it for at least 3 years or even more. It was a huge disappointment to end up in the hospital and to have to go on it again.
  13. Quit zyprexa and an antidepressant at the end of 2016, felt hell since then..im not healed yet tho but im better physically ..my emotions still numb somehow..i would give it a year or so to feel my emotions back..this drug was a big lesson wich im willing to share with my descendants.
  14. Hi everybody. I never joined a forum before but now it's time. I've been on AD's for about 20 years now. Always resistant to staying on them, because of flat affect and just a lot of fear of side effects. Started on maprotiline (yeah, nobody's heard of it) a tetracyclic, then tried St John's Wort, SAMe, TCM, before getting prescribed Celexa. My pattern was to stay on until I felt OK, than go off, probabl;y way too fast for my sensitive system, and crash. Aside from sadness and lack of energy/motivation, my main symptom was horrible insomnia -- I have atypical PTSD symptoms from a major trauma that included pretty much not sleeping for three weeks. Sleep is a big deal, not sleeping gives me really bad anxiety. So I went up and down on Celexa at the advice of my GP, pretty much staying below 20mg, and at one point on 5mg for quite a while and doing well. Used lorazepam periodically for sleep, and went off that really slowly without too much difficulty. Unfortunately, when I decided to go off Celexa (at the advice of a TCM doc who was supposed to be brilliant and said I didn't need it) I ran into a major stressful life event (my 19 yr old learning disabled daughter got pregnant and decided to have her baby) and crashed. In addition to the stress, it was again probably a mistake to stop 5mg cold. I didn't know. After a few weeks of hell and lots of acupuncture, I went back on but it took too long to start having an effect and... I eventually went to the ER, and was advised by the doc who advised not to go to the psych ward, and prescribed more lorazepam. Two days later I saw a PDoc for the first time. She prescribed a small dose od Zyprexa to "augment" the Celexa, and help me sleep. Which it did -- three days later I felt better and could function again. 20mg Celexa and 1.25 Zyprexa. A couple of months later when I was still up and down she added 50mg of lamictal to help me with "stability". So now on three drugs, sleeping, relatively stable. Over the next couple of years, I was able to bring the Zyprexa down to about .35mg, but couldn't get off without crashing. My PDoc called it a "homeopathic dose" and didn't try to get me off. REALLY sensitive to this stuff. Three years into this, a year ago, I had another stressful stretch, and incrreased to 1mg Zyprexa. Then I developed a tremor in my right hand. I freaked -- my dad had Parkinson's. After being in denial for 4-5 months, I finally went to a neurologist and after several tests told me it could be Parkinson's or it could be the Zyprexa. She suggested I try to switch to Seroquel that is supposedly less likely to have this side effect. Oh my, here comes the really bad part -- my PDoc said I could just do a switch of Zyprexa for Seroquel at "equivalent" doses. She knows how sensitive I am and this was a BIG mistake. I switched, and totally crashed. I was supposed to then increase the Seroquel until I felt better. That lasted about two weeks when I developed akathisia. Was given Cogentin and UGH, I couldn't think, my hands trembled, I couldn't have a normal conversation and my memory went downhill. PDoc said switch back to Zyprexa so I did but now at a higher "equivalent" dose (2.5mg). Akathisia didn't go away. Tried to drop Zyprexa to 2mg and BOOM, more depression. Back up, more akathisia. My PDoc then gave up and passed me on to another PDoc (not a bad thing at this point, but I felt abandoned). Since then, I'm titrating down on Zyprexa by .05mg per week. At 2mg now and akathisia is somewhat better but I still can't relax at all, and I still don't know if the tremor is drug induced or Parkinson's. I get the 10% per month and I plan to follow that as closely as I can. I've had enough of these meds. It makes me really sad that I know it's a long road ahead to get back to a semblance of normal. I wake up every morning trembling and depressed. I eat really healthy and walk 6-9 miles a day. By mid-day I feel a bit better but can't stop obsessing about the tremor. Can't concentrate much or I get really tired. Afraid to go outside my routine because it's more stressful and the symptoms get worse. I'm looking into TMS as a way to support this process. Whoever reads this thanks for listening, it gets really lonely sometimes, I'f you're here, I'm sure you know.
  15. I used to be very happy and funny guy who loved dancing and enjoyed going out with friends until one night I got drunk and someone put drugs in my drinks.I still dont know what that drug was but I felt like my legs were burning and I became very agressive and delusional.I got locked up for trying to brake into a house and send into a mental hospital. I was forced to take zyprexa for 3 months and after that zoloft for 2 months. Since then I lost all feelings and emotions. For all I mean: fear, love, hate, envy,everithing.I've Lost all my friends. No desire to live, I feel like an empty shell. Complete lack of creativity, lack of social skills Lack of empathy, lack of motivation and a sense of accomplishment. 5 months ago I stopped taking zyprexa but I have no improvement and Im beginning to think that my brain is permanently damaged by these drugs. Is there any hope that my brain will recover?
  16. Hello everyone, my name is Nicholas and I'm a 21 years old guy from Italy. I suffered from chronic insomnia from the age of 15 and in mid-February 2017 was prescribed before bedtime the antidepressant mirtazapine at 15 mg and the antipsychotic olanzapine at 2,5 mg. I took them for 2 weeks without improvement. Therefore the psychiatrist increased mirtazapine at 30 mg and olanzapine at 10 mg. Now I believe that he thought I had bipolar disorder type 1 but I hadn’t any mental illnes. I took olanzapine at 10 mg because I think was only a tranquilizer and because I trusted the doctor. Olanzapine made me sleep for 13 hours but I was no longer myself. After 5 days I tried to split the tablet but it gave me a strange effect. So I continued for others 15 days at 10 mg because I really needed to sleep. Then in April 2017 I tapered olanzapine in 1 week because I could not live anymore like that. I took it for a total of 48 days. After this I reduced mirtazapine to 15 mg and 1 week later I stop cold turkey. At that time I took the benzodiazepine brotizolam at 0,25 mg for 2 weeks to help me sleep. The withdrawal symptoms were terrible for 4 months and I have not been the same anymore. When I was on mirtazapine and olanzapine I had eyelids fasciculation 2 or 3 times per day. When I quitted olanzapine the eyelids fasciculation ceased. 2 weeks after withdrawal from olanzapine and 1 week from mirtazapine I started to have frequently intermittent muscle twitching in the left thigh and occasionaly pulsating muscles in other parts of the body. After less than a couple of months they have decreased in frequency and intensity but didn’t stop completely. During this period I was forced to take the antidepressant sertraline and the benzodiazepine diazepam because for the new psychiatrist I had obsessive compulsive disorder with an obsession for the damage of antipsychotics. I did not have anything like that and could taper and withdraw after 3 months in July 2017. Now I think maybe that the muscles twitching have diminished because diazepam is also a muscle relaxant. In August 2017 I started to have continuous fasciculations in the legs when I lie down and less frequently when I sit while I never had them when I move. Few times a day I had pulsating muscles also in the arms and the trunc but never in the face. I never had muscle twitches in multiple parts of the body at the same time. In September the muscles twitching moved for 1 week in the lower abdominals. In October 2017 for 2 weeks the muscles twitches suddenly stopped in the legs and continued in the rest of the body about 10 times per day. When the muscles twitching returned they were milder. Sometimes the fasciculations are so mild that when I looked at my calf I saw them without feel them. In the legs they have become more single rapid muscular contractions than pulsating muscles. Soon after I started to have continuos pulsating muscle in my upper lip. The muscle twitch was very mild and lasted 2 weeks but after it I have sometimes pulsating muscle also in my face. Do you think it is a tardive dyskinesia caused by olanzapine despite I haven’t involuntary body movements? Do you think it could be some other side effect caused by olanzapine or maybe mirtazapine? It’s 8 months that I’ve it. I have been visited by several psychiatrists and neurologists and everyone said it was just stress. Even if I do not have the symptoms of tardive dyskinesia I do not know what else it could be: I’m not stressed and I do not suffer from anxiety, I do not take stimulants, I can sleep, I have had blood tests and I haven’t electrolyte imbalances or hypoglycemia, I did electromyography and had normal results. The thing that worries me most is that there is a very large amount of medical literature that associates tardive dyskinesia with cognitive impairments. If it were to be tardive dyskinesia do you think that the fact that for almost 2 weeks the muscles twitches had almost disappeared means that I am healing? Thank you and greetings from Italy.
  17. Spideygsm

    Spideygsm off zyprexa

    I'm brand new to this forum. I'm not real social so I generally only read and don't write. However, I feel the topic of letting people now that it is possible to get completely off Zyprexa (olanzapine) is so important that I had to share. I'm bipolar with an extreme depression and an anxiety disorder. I was put on 5 mg of Zyprexa in 2003 when I went through a very bad down cycle. Since 2003, my body kept building up a tolerance to the Zyprexa so my Doctors kept raising the dose all the way up to 30 mg/day starting in 2015. That's when I really starting having bad side effects such as high blood sugar, high liver panels, high cholesterol, testical issues, a 25 lbs weight gain, and my right breast started drooping. My family has a zero history for any of these things. I don't eat any junk food, very little meat, I swim 1 plus miles 5 days each week, and I have kept the my weight off (I'm 6'-2" and currently weigh 180 lbs, don't smoke). In November 2017 my Doctor said I needed to quit taking Zyprexa. She wasn't the Doctor who put me on the drug and told me all along she wasn't a fan of it but since it worked, keep using it. My Doctor initially said to taper by 25% every 10 days. I did some online research and told her I would rather start at a 10% reduction and see how it went. When I did my first reduction, within 2 days I was having just about every withdrawal symptom you've read about. The worst were the headaches, insomnia, anxiety, high pulse, twitching, zero energy, and sweats. People are always going to say that a 10% reduction was too much of a taper. In my convoluted mind, I thought, why prolong this agony. I went ahead and dropped by by 25% every 10 days. My last dose of Zyprexa was 11 weeks ago today. At week 4 my symptoms got even worse. My doctor gave me Ambien for sleep and Valium for the anxiety. Neither did a thing so I stopped. I had to withdraw from Klonipin in 2003 and know how tough Benzo's are to stop taking. I even swore back then I'd never take another Benzo. However, the Zyprexa withdrawals were so bad I was willing to try anything. One thing that I did notice right from the start is that on days when I swam, I always felt better after the swim. The harder I swam, the better I felt. This is similar that Andy has been telling people. I'm not talking about a mild sweat lifting weights. I'm talking about a kick ass workout where I am completely worn out. This is something my Doctor also told me. After stopping Pshyc meds, your brain has to readjust. One way of getting the brain to adjust quicker is to do something natural that releases the endorphins. At week 8 my doctor put me on Trazodone for sleep (little help, 2-3 hours instead of 0-2 hours). I still take 150 mg Trazodone each night (Trazodone isn't a permanent answer either. My Doctor told me 150 mg is a low dose and easy to stop. She used to prescibe up to 1000 mg when Trazondone was used as an antidrpessant). At week 9 I started taking 20 mg of pure CBD oil each night. I don't know if it's the CBD oil, a placebo effect, or I'm getting better with regards to sleep but I'm getting 2-3 nights each week of 6-7 hours of sleep. On the other nights I'm getting 3-4 hours sleep. This is something I can easily deal with. At week 9 is when I noticed a significant improvement. I went 2 days without any symptoms other than feeling tired and zero energy, and having insomnia. Then I had 2 bad days and since that, I've had no other symptoms other than a tired feeling, zero energy and I'd say moderate insomnia (tolerable compared to how I was feeling). The tiredness could be the sleep hangover from the Trazodone. I see my Doctor next week. I'm probably gonna start cutting back on the Trazodone and see how things go. I would say I'm a success story. I still take 150 mg Wellbutrin SR for depression (down from 450 mg), 1800 mg Gabapentin for anxiety and back pain, and the 150 mg of Trazodone for sleep. I don't think I'll ever be able to stop taking all medicines because of my mental health illness. I have to be a realist. By the way, my Doctor gave me a prescription for Abilify which I HAVE NOT taken. I'm gonna see how things go before I ever take another antipsychotic again. If I tried to put a number on how I feel, I'd say I'm at 75%. I've never felt completely normal in my life, but I'm definitely feeling A LOT better. Zyprexa does have it's place. It saved me from a very dark time when I tried to kill myself 2 times. It also helped with other issues. However, I wish the Doctor's at the Mental Hospital told me about all of the dangerous side effects, the drugs addiction, and the pure hell it is to stop taking Zyprexa. I'm not 100% better. The insomnia is miserable (I'm not gonna lie), I still feel tired with zero energy. However, all of the other symptoms are gone, my blood work is well below normal, and my physical symptoms (******** problem, saggy right breast) have pretty much resolved themselves. Is this a coincidence? I don't think so. If you do internet research, all of these are side effects from Zyprexa. I can testify that everything Andy has told people is correct. Exercise helps the most. CBD oil has helped (I'll keep taking it if it keeps helping, otherwise I'll stop). I don't know about the diet because I've always eaten pretty healthy. I want to tell people it's not a pleasant experience to go through. It's taken about 6 months from the time I started my taper to where I am now (11 weeks Zyprexa free). It really is mind over matter. When you're going through the withdrawal, it feels like the misery is never going to end. I always thought forward. Things may get better tomorrow and then one day, it unexpectedly did. My recommendation is this. Exercise hard, don't take any Benzos (you're trading one difficult addiction for another and they did zero for me), don't take a real sleeping pill like Amien (another very addicting drug that didn't help), and exactly what Andy said, don't use the internet. People only write about their misery getting off Zyprexa. Reading these stories will only make you feel worse. There are probably more success stories out there that you don't get to read because I think these people don't post their stories. I think the majority of people who post are miserable being at the beginning or in the middle of the withdrawal and don't see a positive outcome. As an example, if you read the horror stories about getting off Zyprexa, most people who post these stories are either beginning the taper, or a few weeks or month since the last dose. I've only read a few posts where somebody shares their story and is a few months off their last dose and all of these stories have been positive. That's why it's dangerous to read the misery stories. I think that it can make things worse because you can get a feeling of panic or anxiety about how bad it's going to be. It's not easy. It will definitely get better. Andy outlined his story perfectly and I've tried to do the same. I've told everybody what worked for me and what didn't. Everybody's timeline is going to be different. I took a very high dose for a very long time. Just hang in there and look forward to the day when you'll start to feel better. Good luck to all. Hang in there. It really does take willpower and a strong mind. Kudos to Andy for sharing his story. I'm not trying to hijack what he's shared. Only let people know I've had a similar experience.
  18. Hi, I have a long history (18 years) of psych drug usage and have been on antipsychotics, antidepressants and mood stabilisers. I recently (1 month ago) started Zyprexa again because I had a crisis, and this time it didn't really work as well as it had in the past. I took 10mg and I passed out and felt awful and later was admitted to a private hospital, where various other drugs were added. I am now on 2.5mg Zyprexa and would like to get off it because I am pre-diabetic. Given that I have only been on it for a month, is a 25% reduction per week ok? I have withdrawn off it before and I am petrified. I feel in general that my mental health has declined quite a bit this year, so I am not sure if I could handle the withdrawal. Having said that though, going off it gives me hope that I will feel better and have my cognition back. Is this a realistic expectation? Zyprexa withdrawal is very rough. And unfortunately Zyprexa has affected my memory quite a bit. I am quite confused too at the moment, because I have seen too many shrinks and they all have different diagnosis and views for me. My shrink of 18 years pretty much gave up on me recently because I discharged against his advice from a private hospital where he consulted. I only did this because he wanted to start me on Abilify to replace the Zyprexa and after one dose, I had horrible side effects which he didn't believe. My life is in a complete mess at the moment and I am very sad at what psych drugs have done to me :__( Thanks Rico
  19. Hi folks, First of all I'm new to this site, so feel free to tell me I'm in the wrong area or redirect me.. But here's my story... I currently have what I think is severe anhedonia. Last July, I was a bit depressed (I stress a bit, not majorly).......doctor gave me lexapro 10. After taking this, I vomited on the first night and developed sleep problems. Later in the week, I was given 25 seroquel which apparently would help balance out adverse effects of lexapro.......by the end of the week, I wasn't sleeping and I was suicidal. I subsequently was admitted to hospital. In hospital, I got more and more meds thrown at me and my mid august I was on 125 seroquel, 30 mirtazapine, 20 lexapro, 20 Olanzapine/Zyprexa....My main problem was the medication ripped my stomach apart.....the docs didn't believe me and just gave me more and more meds. I left hospital anyway on the concoction I mentioned.....I spent the following four months on these meds. During those four months, I felt no emotion whatsever, nothing. I felt suicidal, and that I would never recover. I had no desire to do anything. I just stayed in bed until late in the day, even though my sleep did not feel like real sleep. By mid November, i realised that the medication was messing me up, I demanded that I gradually come off everything. On that day, the doctor dropped the mirtazapine, and cut everything else in half. There was a quick taper, maybe too quick, and by christmas eve I was off everything. There were brief windows of emotion during the taper but still 95% anhedonia. Days after I went off everything....I cried for the first time in six months.....days later I laughed for the first time in months... I'm now 6 weeks off everything, I had huge headaches up unitl last week. My stomach started to improve after going off everything and is on the mend. However, I'm still worried about emotions/desires/thoughts etc.....over the last six weeks....I've had maybe 5 occassions where I felt strong positive emotions...and maybe 3 times where I've been sad/angry to the point of proper crying. outside of those 8 occassions, there's still an awful amount of flat feeling, apathy etc... I'm worried and wonder how long or if I will recover at all. Feedback welcome!!
  20. hello there. i registered here to search for help for symptoms that are bothering me and that came after 15mg of olanzapine for 7-8 months. generally, i've been taking olanzapine for like a year or something, i started with a 5mg dose at 2015, after some time they upped it to 10mg, and then i've had a full-blown psychotic episode and i began taking 15mg. i was hospitalized and there they gave me high doses of 5 different medications. when i came back home, things just weren't the same. okay, that didn't bother me, i was still thinking that it's only a phase. then, month after month, i realized that that "phase" is actually... something deeper, different. so i searched about it on the internet; and saw that "antipsychotics destroy brain". i stopped taking olanzapine cold turkey, which was DEFINITELY a very bad idea. at first, i was very depressed, i don't know if it lasted long enough to be called a major depressive episode, but it was severe. i was full of guilt... but, the worst of it all - i couldn't feel a damn thing. i couldn't enjoy a damn thing. i was on a winter holiday and i'm a skier, but i didn't feel anything while i was skiing. yes, i could leave a bed, but i was doing it only because i felt like the world around me would judge me and criticize me if i didn't. people are supposed to feel happy, free when they're skiing, even scared. i didn't feel anything. i realized that i stopped caring about everything, so, you could tell me a good thing - i would feel nothing (sometimes it was even hard to fake a smile, because it was even hard to move my face). you could tell me a bad thing - i would feel nothing. i had a fear of being criticized, but now, that faded too. but that's okay, to be honest, it's much easier to live without the guilt and at the same time energy to do anything about the guilt you're feeling. and i wanted to feel things. i wanted, and not only wanted, but i still want to feel things. deeply. so i started faking reactions to things... i was like - okay, imagine you're a normal person who didn't go through this kind of situation. how would a normal, rational person react ? and then i reacted that way. i still do that tho, it became some kind of a habit. my concentration is very bad. my will is very bad. i have anhedonia and apathy. my cognitive abilities are awful. but i just can't seem to care. and you know, sometimes you feel bad for not caring about things. i don't even feel bad about not caring, i just don't feel a damn thing. i had a period where i was doing better and was motivated to recover. i still want to recover, but i feel like nothing makes sense and i don't know how to get out of this nonsense. if any of you found sense, can you please tell me how ? i know it's an extremely hard and long process, but i somehow believe that it's possible. WHY ? i went to the neurologist and spent a lot of money on some neurological tests, for example magnetic resonance imaging of the brain. guess what ? IT'S NOT THE BRAIN. IT'S PSYCHE. mind. mental. !!!!!!!!!!!! at least for me. tests can't and don't lie. i believe in those tests, even tho i have all the symptoms of brain damage, i surely don't have a brain damage because i have an evidence. the tests have shown that my brain is perfectly healthy, despite my mental disorder. i don't know about you, but i can recommend checking yourself just to be sure, it can ease the pain, even if you do have a brain damage or if you don't. if you don't have enough money, there are local hospitals where you can check yourself. so that's why i accepted medications and i'm currently using 10mg of escitalopram and i started few days ago aripiprazole 5mg. i'm willing to try things. i just feel so brain-foggy and that's stopping me from doing anything. and now, i'll go and search the forum for some advices from you guys, i will write here again. thanks if you read this. ...and yeah, sorry for a really bad post, i'm not so well right now. i'm glad that i became the part of this community, the feeling that i'm not alone makes me feel better. and it's hell.
  21. Tomash

    Tomash

    My psychological issues started in high school - I experimented with halucinogens, for a higher knowledge. However, later on I started to participate in techno parties and this destroyed my sensitive psyche. First depression, then toxic psychosis. I was hospitalized 6 months, for schizophrenia, then addiction treatment and received several diagnosis since then. My self-esteem lowered quite a lot. From my childhood, I am a personality and anti-authoritarian, I did art and so on, which made psychiatrists always confused (literally, they often didnt know completely what to do with me). During hospitalization, I tried to stop smoking, doing sports and learning, I felt quite well soon. But later on I started to smoke, started to drink alkohol as proposed by my psychiatrist to go to parties to have social contacts. It was a very renowned doctor, however today patient himself. However, I started to study at college, though not realizing i am completely dump on antipsychotics, always not understanding where the hell my creativity and inteligence from high-school disappeared. Of course - the diagnosis was to be blamed. I ve been always interested in religion. in 2006, i tried to do yoga, and from 2007 i started to do daily. I really feel I was completely closed and dump in that time, didnt realize how diet, good company etc. are important as well. But in 2008 I started to do social work with autistic persons, which made mi stronger and forced me to start to travel, go to mountains, do sports etc. In 2010 I enrolled in a prestigious social work Master program. I didnt enjoy, but it definitely re-thought me how to use critical thinking and real scientific approach. In 2011 i did a research in India on ayurveda, social work and autism, which i accidentelly succesfully completed by skipping my doses for 7 days, when my brain started to work for a while. Going back home, I started to experiment with ayurveda myself. Soon, I lowered the dose from "therapeutic" doses to 5 Mg of Zyprexa and Wellbutrin 150. I started to have conflicts with my psychiatrist, my colleagues and my profession in general. By ayurvedic life-style, good job etc. I came to decision to withdraw in 2015. I had some knowledge of recovery movement, but I did a plan which was complete failure. I thought that ayurveda and yoga would help me, and only that. I underestimated the rebound and all these things. I did quite a bad panchakarma in India, which happens to a lot of westerners, but for me it was disaster. I started to meditate, do pranayama, on my own, which made me terribly ungrounded. In autumn 2015 i felt enthusiastic, I was completely off medication. I felt my inteligence, creativity, clarity came after 15 years. But, I stopped to sleep, and few days later i had visions or quazi-spiritual content, started to have depression, all rebound symptoms and finally some symptoms from my original toxic psychosis. I left my home and job, to protect clients and spouse and have less stress. In that time, I was without any contact with psychiatrists etc., didnt believe them anything. But in my state of mind I succumbed to suggestions of people around me that psychiatry changed. I couldnt, however, find any that "new psychiatrist" which was another sign of "not able to have a safe therapeutic relationship and therefore paranoid". Because I didnt have safe home, too, I was finally hospitalized in a very modern hospital in Prague. However, very soon, I realized that psychiatry hasnt "changed", rather, it is quite worse then i used to be. So I did everything to be realesd from the prison. I found a new flat, and started to meet my spouse again. I tried a psychotherapeutic program, which was "new", but same patterns again. Finally, my yoga teacher recommended me a private psychologist, and I am in that process now and it helps. I started to very cautiously do yoga again. I found a physical job - gardens and ecological agriculture. This makes me grounded and gives time to plan everything. I am going to do social work only part-time, to reduce stress. Last 3 years I worked with refugees, and you know what is happening now in Europe... I am preparing to have a house with a garden, to stay grounded during the next year. I am discovering a healing power of nature and physical work, which is well related to ayurveda philosophy. I know now that yoga is powerful tool, and in India usually corrupted. Its a tool, which can helps but also harm. I try to focus my attention to my body, which is grounding yoga technique, not to think much. I am not looking for "spiritual" fantastic experiences, rather for true and the Earth, and rebuilding my life. I also strive to find new supportive friends and I am partly succesfull. And I read this forum, because these information are gold, and no psychiatrist in present state of affairs will do this job for me, unfortunatelly.
  22. I was really stressed out after a breakup with a manipulative ex boyfriend and had a psychotic break in November 2016,I thought he was tracking me and was I was taken to hospital by my parents. While there, I read some material and then thought my ex was going to harm me. So they put me on Risperidone 1mg, saying it was going to help me get better. I think I took that for a week, complaining that it was too strong, they reduced the dose to 0.5mg for 2weeks. I hated the stuff and had leg twitching at night, so they took me off and gave me Ativan and Seroquel for 2 days. I then switched to Latuda 10mg for a week and one day, on the way to the hospital, I jumped out of the car, completely scared and was admitted again to the psych ward. (I think it was the meds b/c I felt confined in my seatbelt in the backseat and felt restless, plus I was feeling extremely suicidal). I was readmitted and given paliperidone (invega) which turned me into an emotional zombie and was taking 6mg for 2 months, I went up to 9mg for a week and they lowered it back to 6mg b/c it blunted me severely. I started to develop restlessness, so they switched me onto abilify (aripiprazole) 10mg for 1 1/2 months to try and get rid of the restlessness. It didn't work, but I did become more of myself on it. I was then switched onto 5mg olanzapine (zyprexa) and have been on it for about 1 1/2 months. It has made me gain weight, I haven't had a period in 5 months (I had a period when I was switching from abilify to olanzapine),I feel less motivation, less joy, thoughtless, constipated, etc. I am a 36yr old female and I used to be vibrant, funny, thin, centre of attention, outgoing, active and now I'm none of that. The doctors say I have schizophrenia and I have to be on these meds for 1-2 years b/c I had only one psychotic episode and you can try to come off the meds at that time (which scares me from hearing all the horror stories and I don't want to have the doctor put me back on these meds for the rest of my life). I had no mental illness before this and now all of a sudden I have this b/c I had a psychotic break and delusional thoughts for a brief period of time.
  23. Hello fellow withdrawers (if that's a word), I'm Bokart and I'm here on a journey to quit my medication of Olanzapine. Down to 7,5 mg at the moment (see my signature). My story short: back in February 2015 I got admitted in psych ward due to psychosis (due to my destroyed sleep because of my night-shift work). There began my involuntary medication of Olanzapine, which pulled me out of a psychosis, so at least it did some good. I was released from the hospital after two weeks of being there. Now, after jojoing with my olanzapine dose (see signature), I'm finally set to quit it for good. I found this community after searching for succesfull withdrawal stories on the internet and found this community to be great, people being helpful and supportive and giving good advice... I know it can get rough when I approach smaller doses so I do know I will need support. And hopefully I can give support too and offer people hope after and during my taper. I know lots of people are in the same boat as me. Why I want to quit? I got no sexuality anymore, my motivation lacks big time, even personal hygiene is suffering because of that. I can't memorize things like before - learning is difficult. I have very little emotions left in me, basically I'm a dumbed down version of myself nowadays with this drug. I have little social skills - which I would badly need because I plan on working with children in school so some situational awareness is needed (I might have to quit my studies due to me making no progress in my studies... due to this drug). No happines, no enjoying things, lethargy and demotivation... About my psychosis, after it was gone I haven't had any symptoms of it returning (like delusions, paranoia, hallucinations), even after trying to quit my drug cold turkey once, which I see as a good sign. Now I don't want to slip into psychosis again so I need to be extra careful with my taper. After I hit 5,625 mg I will go on tapering by feeling, so no reductions until I feel stable enough. My main concern is sleep. I have a prescribed medication of temazepam (a benzodiazepine), which I can use when my insomnia has hit a threshold of needing immediate attention. I'm trying to limit my use of it to every three days to prevent tolerance and dependence (I know benzodiazepine withdrawals can be bad). But the thing is, lack of sleep led me to psychosis once, so it is a big deal to me. I need at least one night on a while to hit at least 4 hours of uniterrupted sleep, which 40 mg of temazepam does. I've tried many other sleep aids such as low to medium dose of quietiapine (no effect), low to medium dose of levomepromazine (didn't help), low dose of doxepine (no effect), even melatonine and l-tryptophan and 5-htp and none of those helped. One thing that helped me though was phenibut combined with temazepam - I slept 13 hours with that combination! So I know I have an emergency brakes on my train now (assuming that combination works again, haven't taken phenibut in 2 months to avoid tolerance and dependency), but I'm planning on limiting the use of this combination to once a month. On this dose of 7,5mg I'm currently having 2-3 hours of good uninterrupted sleep plus 3-4 hours of bad, constantly waking up kind of sleep So, thank you all for being here! And I wish a speedy recovery to those who are withdrawing from their drugs, we are all here together.
  24. Hello Everybody from the community, I would like to share my story where I was diagnosed with drug induced delusions. I was put on anti psychotics Zyprexa and Invega for 8 months starting January until September. I have quit cold turkey about 2 months ago after suffering from emotional blunting, social withdrawal anhedonia and lost my ability to communicate and socialize. Since then I have not really suffered much withdrawal effects except anxiety which has significantly decreased. However, I still suffer from anhedonia and emotional blunting and cannot enjoy things that I used to in the past. I cannot enjoy music, alcohol, and simply conversations with friends. I used to be very outgoing and enjoyed meeting new people but now I simply do not have the motivation to do so. Will this ever go away? Is two months off anti psychotics enough to judge or must I wait for some more time? Thanks to all
  25. Hi, I am currently on 15 mg of remeron. I tried to stop when tapered sucessfully down to 3.75. I had withdrawals with anxiety that made me sucidal and I had to go to the hospital. I have come off all other drugs sucessfully in the past. I am scared to death about ever coming off and wondering if I ever should come off. I keep wondering what happens in the future if some reason I can't get the drug. I constantantly obsess now about getting off the drug to the point I've had to go back on tranxene to keep the anxiety down from worring about coming of this drug some day. Should I just stay on it. If it permantly damages the receptors and they don't repair in your brain would it be best to just stay on it. I have GAD so I may need to stay on a drug for life. I got off prozac some years ago and lived symptom free for 4 years until a bad life trauma caused me to have debilitating anxiety for months. I could not work and could not eat. I dropped down to 100 lbs and had to be hospitalized. I have been stabilized on remeron now for over 2 years. Should I try to stop or would it be best for me just to stay on? If I stay on I'm just going to worry about it until I crack up. Right now I found a doctor in Ashville NC, Dr. Daniel Johnson who specializes in helping people safely withdraw from these meds. He has not returned my calls at all. Maybe he is on vacation or something. I even tried contacting Dr. Peter Breggin.. I'm so scared that if I try to come off my brain will be damaged permantely and will not recover. I know I should think like this but even the slightest anixiety can make me suicidal. I don't know if I can ever risk a withdrawal. I had to go to the hospital for my first attempt at this withdrawal. Some of it could have been extra anxiety by worring about the withdrawal rather than the withdrawel itself, but I don't know. Help, I'm scared to even try. Cheryl
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