Jump to content
lavendertealatte

lavendertealatte: Hello and hello

Recommended Posts

lavendertealatte

Well, this is my introduction of sorts.  I'm not sure I'll be on here much, depends on how useful and encouraging this place ends up being.  I was advised to stay off the internet because hearing all the negative experiences could create a new anxiety of its own.  And I agree with that.

 

So my story.

I've been on Lexapro, 15mg, for about three years now.  I went through a difficult time of depression and anxiety and I'm glad that I had the medications to help me out of it.  Situations changed, and now things are much better in my environment.  I'm hoping the feelings I had were more situational than anything and that I can come out of this stronger and calmer.  Now I'm going to try weaning off on a taper, and hopefully be off of them forever.  I'm definitely nervous though, having heard all about the potential withdrawal symptoms.

 

In the meantime, I'm definitely looking for more support in the absence of the SSRI for my mind.  Yesterday I went on a mini run with my husband, and it was a relief knowing I can still run!  I look forward to getting some of my creativity back which I felt was blunted by the medication.

 

Also, I love lavender tea lattes, although the caffeine makes me jittery sometimes.  But anyway.  Delicious.

Share this post


Link to post
Altostrata

Welcome, lavendertealatte.

 

Good for you, to gather info about tapering before jumping into it! You can start with a gradual taper that will minimize problems coming off Lexapro.

 

Please read Tips for tapering off Lexapro (escitalopram)

 

Before you start tapering, you may wish to support your nervous system with fish oil and magnesium supplements, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

and low-dose B vitamins (see how you do before increasing the dosage). While people who have already stressed their nervous system with withdrawal syndrome often have difficulty with B vitamins, if you start when your nervous system is stable, you will have fewer problems.
 

Share this post


Link to post
freespirit

Welcome LT. Best of luck with tapering. In addition to the recommended supplements and a slow taper...my suggestion would be to start implementing more self-help strategies. That means you'd already have some things in place to deal with any difficulties that might arise during tapering. For some people, the reductions don't cause a lot of problems..but personally, I find it helpful being prepared and able to handle things as they arise. There are many good suggestions in http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/8-symptoms-and-self-care/

 

You'll hear this over and over on here....but try things slowly and cautiously..preferably, only 1 thing at a time. That way you have a better sense if something is helping and if your nervous system becomes more sensitized, you are treating it more gently. Less chance for supplements or something else stirring things up. Patience is key around the whole process.

 

I love lavender....but have never tried a tea latte from it....I had lavender chocolate cookies a long time ago..they were heavenly.

Share this post


Link to post
lavendertealatte

Thank you all for your responses.

 

So day one of the taper.. yesterday, 10mg.  I felt anxiety in my tummy the entire day, but I did feel more energetic.  The anxiety though.. I don't know how long I could deal with that, and I don't know how to make it go away.  

 

Last night, I accidentally took 20mg of Lexapro!  I forgot that I had already taken the 10mg.  Today I don't feel anxious which is nice, but I'm definitely groggy and sleepy.  I'm torn.

Share this post


Link to post
lavendertealatte

Yes I saw that..  makes me nervous!  But will my pdoc be receptive to this?  Also don't know if liquid form will be covered as I am on state insurance.  Maybe.

Share this post


Link to post
starburst

Hi Lavendertealatte Welcome. I started off on 30mg Lexapro seven years ago. I weaned myself off without any knowledge of how to do it correctly and am currently down to 5mg. Basically I went from 30-25 then 25-20 20-15 and so on and so forth. I wouldn't recommend it! I didn't get a lot of symptoms that people have described but I did suffer with terrible rebound anxiety which lasted for about a month each taper. The only thing that I think I did right was staying at the reduced dosage for a long time, longer than most people would. For me it was about twelve months! I think the rebound anxiety put me off from doing it any sooner. In June of this year I reduced from 10mg to 5mg and then for some strange reason I decided to try and reduce that to 2.5mg only two months later. It kind of hit me in the face and I reinstated the 5mg. I am going to try and get liquid lexapro and continue my very very slow but steady withdrawal which at this rate might take me two years! I wish you well.

P.S I'd love the recipe for your lavender latte :-)

Share this post


Link to post
brassmonkey

Hi lavender-- welcome to the group.  We have found that most doctors are totally unknowledgeable about how to withdraw from these meds, so I wouldn't expect too much help/support from him/her.  In many cases, mine included, members have used their doctor only as a source for the medications and then handled the taper on their own. 

 

Having the liquid version makes the taper easier, but it is not necessary.  It is also possible to make your own.

 

How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules

 

Using a digital scale to measure doses

Share this post


Link to post
lavendertealatte

Hi everyone.  It's been awhile since I've been here, because I was doing okay.

 

Until today, this week, rather.  It's been a couple months since the taper began.  I think by the end of October or November I ended up on 5mg, and then stayed on that for awhile.   I was a bit scared of going beyond that, so I'm still on 5mg.  However, I'm starting to feel sadness for no reason recently and crying for no reason.

 

Was my taper too fast?  I'm afraid of a relapse in depression.  Is it just withdrawal symptoms?  Am I doomed to forever be on antidepressants?

 

I'm thinking I may need to go back to see the pdoc, but I'm afraid of him just upping my dose again.  I'm not sure if that's the right way to do it.

 

What now folks?

Share this post


Link to post
brassmonkey

Hi lavender-- It's good to hear that you stabilized so well.  For some people there is such a thing as holding for too long.  It might be time to try a small drop.

Share this post


Link to post
lavendertealatte

Still feeling stuck.. didn't know that last post made it through.  I guess the forums were down the last time I checked in here.

 

Anyway, I stopped seeing the pdoc, I think back in December, before our honeymoon.  Now, it's February, the end, actually, and I've been struggling more.  I'm afraid of what I think many of us weaning off are afraid of, that these feelings mean that we have to live with the medication for life and that we weren't supposed to come off.  So feelings of anxiety and sadness (I can't quite call it depression, but it's scary cause it feels on the edge of a cliff) and fatigue, though I've had trouble with fatigue for much of my life.  But the other week or so, I went on a run and I actually felt this immense nausea afterwards and threw up.  That was new.  I think the last time I've thrown up like that after a run was when I had to do a timed mile in high school and I ran really hard.  

 

Where to go from here?  I don't want to go back to see that pdoc, but I'm surprised you mention that there is such a thing as holding for too long.  How can this be?  I thought slower was better?  It's an interesting thought if it is true, then I wonder what I would feel like on less, which I'm afraid to do now.  

 

Because of insurance change too, I will see a new pdoc in March, who I'm hoping can help with the rest of the weaning process.  Part of me feels like I am in the middle of an ocean though, wondering if I should turn back for shore.  That maybe weaning is not for me.   Because at least when I was on that dose, I felt okay and didn't have to fight?   Yet at the same time I'm hopeful these are just withdrawal effects and will pass.  I'm not sure what's what...

Share this post


Link to post
lavendertealatte

I wish I had a good recipe for lavender latte, but I'm afraid not!  I like this earl grey lavender tea, and you can add milk and honey to it.  :)  

 

Hi Lavendertealatte Welcome. I started off on 30mg Lexapro seven years ago. I weaned myself off without any knowledge of how to do it correctly and am currently down to 5mg. Basically I went from 30-25 then 25-20 20-15 and so on and so forth. I wouldn't recommend it! I didn't get a lot of symptoms that people have described but I did suffer with terrible rebound anxiety which lasted for about a month each taper. The only thing that I think I did right was staying at the reduced dosage for a long time, longer than most people would. For me it was about twelve months! I think the rebound anxiety put me off from doing it any sooner. In June of this year I reduced from 10mg to 5mg and then for some strange reason I decided to try and reduce that to 2.5mg only two months later. It kind of hit me in the face and I reinstated the 5mg. I am going to try and get liquid lexapro and continue my very very slow but steady withdrawal which at this rate might take me two years! I wish you well.

P.S I'd love the recipe for your lavender latte :-)

Share this post


Link to post
lavendertealatte

Heart kind of aches.  Surprised that I'm here.  I guess it's been awhile since I felt somewhat dare I say it depressed.  Don't know what to do for dinner, but husband will be home soon.  Wish I could have cooked, but not a lot of heart right now.  May be able to pick myself up after this.

 

Initially wanted to get off the medication so I could find some other means of supporting myself and being healthy, in case husband and I want to have a baby in the future.

 

Do I reinstate the medication since I'm having a hard time now?  Will it just make it harder to go back down?

So many questions, no sure answers.  Wish I could cry, but do not feel like crying, just feel kind of numb.  Tried to nap, couldn't nap.  

Not sure if I should call old pdoc, as I'm certain he would want to up the meds...

Share this post


Link to post
lavendertealatte

So on Friday I went to go see a new pdoc.  I was hoping she would give me some more holistic ideas.  

 

A new med student did the intake for me.  The pdoc got the report.  She felt my anxiety/depression were coming back and that it wasn't withdrawal that I was feeling.  So she suggested I go back up on Lexapro.

 

I felt okay about this, although initially disappointed.  She seemed to know what she was talking about though.

 

However, after starting up on 10, I noticed all these side effects that I remember from the very beginning.  I am sleepy, my feet and hands are kind of clammy, and I am getting cold sweats at night.  The sleepiness is very bothersome, as I started a new job with little kids, and I am exhausted afterward.  I find myself sleeping a lot even though I don't work that many hours, and yesterday I even had my husband wash my dishes.  

 

I'm feeling a little discouraged.  Has anyone else experienced this upon reinstating their SSRI?

Share this post


Link to post
lavendertealatte

Is it normal to feel side-effects during reinstatement that were felt only when first going on the drug?

 

For example, when I first began Lexapro up to 15mg, I experienced a lot of cold sweats and sleepiness as the dosage went up, which gradually went away over time.  However, after reinstating to 10mg, I am experiencing those side-effects again.

 

Is this an adverse reaction to the drug, or is it normal and will it go away with time?

Share this post


Link to post
ChessieCat

Hi Lavendar,

 

From what I can see this is your timeline for Lexapro:

 

28 Sept - 15 to 10 mg

end of Oct - 10 to 5 mg

today? or a week ago? gone back up to 10 mg (and are experiencing side effects)

 

It would seem to me that having been on 5 mg for 4 months, your brain has started to adapt to having less of the drug.

 

Are the symptoms you had before going back up to 10 mg unbearable?  Being on ADs can actually make people depressed.  If they were bearable you might do best going back to 5 mg OR maybe it's time for another SMALL drop.  My suggestion would be to NOT take 10 mg again but stick to the 5 mg and wait for one of the mods to assess your situation and make a suggestion.

 

These might help you to understand what is going on and why a slow taper is recommended:

 

Video: Healing from Antidepressants: Patterns of Recovery

 

Brain Remodelling

Share this post


Link to post
Altostrata

Yes, you can feel side effects. If I were you, I'd take less Lexapro, perhaps 5mg, those symptoms indicate that 10mg is too much for you.

 

Note: I responded to LTL's question posted in the Reinstatement topic without reading her Intro topic. I should have moved her post here first so I could see her context. This demonstrates how important it is to keep all such questions in the Intro topic.

 

I see Chessie asked the right questions.

 

Lavendertealight, why did you change your dosage to 10mg?

Edited by Altostrata
added note

Share this post


Link to post
KarenB

Hello Lavender,

 

Just reading your last few posts - sorry things have gotten harder.  Chessie has some good thoughts really - if life was bearable on 5mg then returning to that would be the best idea.

 

It depends on which path you choose to take:  A life using drugs to cope, or a life into which you build strength.  Most doctors don't offer holistic suggestions.  But you can!  We have many ideas here, and I'm sure you'd be able to find things which would begin to give you a more supported life. 

 

This second option is what I've been doing, and I find it has made quite a difference to me.  Non-Drug Techniques to manage emotional symptoms. 

 

Time to take the reins :).

Karen

Share this post


Link to post
lavendertealatte

Oops, thank you each one for the responses.  I am surprised by the kindness of strangers!  I lost touch with this forum since I gave up on my taper at that time.

 

But I'm back!  I can't even remember what I did.  I think I did end up staying on 5mg.  At least I had been on 5 mg for at least more than a year, and then I finished tapering off in January.  Felt like I was at a good place to do it, pdoc agreed, although a therapist I saw did not think so.  Therapy is another topic, not sure what y'alls experiences are with that, but I cannot seem to get on board with it, they seem judgmental and sessions are anxiety-inducing but as for tapering--

 

I did it over the course of a month, which might be considered fast on these forums, but my pdoc wanted to taper me off within a week, and I decided not to follow his guidelines after experiencing really annoying dizziness while doing very normal things like shopping.  So I told him I was going to slow things down.  I finished my last dose on the last day of January, and seemed to be doing okay.  Whether or not that was too fast, well it's too late for that, but maybe that would inform how long it will take me to feel normal again?

 

We had a good event going on, and people staying at our house the first week so I felt like that protected me, but these past couple days I have been bursting into tears and so irritable/upset with people close to me for things they say that I take offense to like innocuous questions or annoying but rather trivial comments (like that they found I have a couple white hairs, for example).  People don't know about withdrawal symptoms except my husband, so it's like they're being caught off guard which I feel a little badly about but don't want to defend myself by explaining.  And I also feel insecure in general about whether friends can notice, like old friends I'm becoming reacquainted with that never knew about the ssri and depression/anxiety.

 

I'm also a Christian so sometimes well-meaning friends who are also believers will hear something about me being "anxious" and suggest a spiritual treatment,  and I don't know what to do with that.

 

So the question is, how long is this going to take before I become a bit less sensitive?  I've always been sensitive, pre-depression, but this is embarrassing, really, and I prefer not to burst into tears if I can help it!  Are there things I can do to help?  I thought maybe exercise, but the dizziness is not very motivating in that department.  So those are my two main symptoms, irritability and dizziness.  My friend suggested St John's wort tea?  Will that help or hurt with the normalization?  

Share this post


Link to post
ChessieCat

The only known way to reduce withdrawal symptoms is to reinstate the drug.  You might find that 0.5mg or 1mg is enough to reduce the withdrawal symptoms to a bearable level.

 

Please read Post #1 of this topic:

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?


Dr Joseph Glenmullen's WD Symptoms Checklist

 

Keep Notes on Paper

Share this post


Link to post
lavendertealatte

Oh dear I think I forgot I actually started from 10mg and then went down to zero. 

 

How would i go about getting medication again? I think I am plumb out.   :/  Don't think pdoc would understand if I asked for 1mg of it O_o 

 

Ok reading post #1 ..  I hope I'll be okay after a few weeks.. this is week two...

Share this post


Link to post
ChessieCat

You could just say that you want to go back on and let him decide the dose.  You can then create your own dose.  You don't even need to mention that you are tapering:

 

How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?


What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms?

 

I am assuming that you are talking about Lexapro:  Tips for tapering off Lexapro (escitalopram)

Share this post


Link to post
ChessieCat

You can get a prescription from your regular doctor, you don't need to see a psychiatrist.

Share this post


Link to post
lavendertealatte

I messaged my doctor already, and he said yes to giving me a prescription for Prozac.

 

Is this okay?  It's a totally different medication though so I'm kind of worried about that?

Share this post


Link to post
ChessieCat

Here is Alto's comment on switching to Prozac:  

 

Share this post


Link to post
lavendertealatte

oh dear, that sounds too complicated.

Ok I'll try to ask him about liquid form again.. and if it's a no go.. I'll just wait things out I guess.  I read another online post that said it could take 3 months.

Share this post


Link to post
lavendertealatte

Ok he said he would prescribe me liquid form!  So how do I do this .. try going back up to 1mg and then go down from there again?

Share this post


Link to post
ChessieCat

Are you talking about Prozac or Lexapro?

Share this post


Link to post
lavendertealatte

Lexapro.

Share this post


Link to post
ChessieCat

Okay, so you are wanting to reinstate Lexapro.

 

Q:  What was the last dose of Lexapro you took?

 

Q:  When did you take your last dose of Lexapro?

Share this post


Link to post
lavendertealatte

2.5mg roughly 

1/31

Share this post


Link to post
ChessieCat

You could try 0.5mg or 1mg.  It may be enough to take the edge off your symptoms.  It is better to start with a low dose and if after 2-3 weeks the symptoms are still unbearable you could updose by another very small amount.

 

CAUTION:  Check the mg/ml ratio on the bottle.  Sometimes 1ml of liquid is more than 1mg drug.

Share this post


Link to post
lavendertealatte

K. Won’t be able to get liquid form until Tuesday ... hope I’m not too dizzy until then! 

Share this post


Link to post
lavendertealatte

Does anyone know why dizziness is part of withdrawal symptoms and how this all works? Husband is asking cause he doesn’t get it. :/  

 

also how long should I be on .5mg before I start tapering again? 

What if reinstating doesn’t work? 

Share this post


Link to post
Altostrata

Dizziness is a very common withdrawal symptom. See What is withdrawal syndrome?

 

You would stay at the low dose until you stabilize, which can be some months.

 

If reinstating doesn't work, you'll be in the same situation you are now.

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.