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lavendertealatte

lavendertealatte: Hello and hello

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lavendertealatte

Interesting on the  histamine thing. Don’t know if it’s related to the AD but have had rash issues on my stomach for months now I think. 

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Rosetta
16 hours ago, lavendertealatte said:

but why would I be having chills now and no more dizziness?

You will notice that one symptom disappears or lessens and another pops up.  It's very upsetting in the beginning, but after a while you will not be as disturbed by this.  My chills have been gone for a long time, but I'm still very sensitive to cold weather.  I have muscle tension that comes and goes.  It might be intense for hours or days, and then it's suddenly gone!  

 

Good luck with the doctor.  Be wary if he offers you a new drug!

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lavendertealatte

Doc said rule out any medical conditions cause he thinks that’s more likely

 

thanks Rosetta that’s somewhat comforting I guess?? Hehe

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mammaP

Hi Lavendertealatte, love the name but I only just saw it properly, I saw lavendertartlette !  

 

I think you might be a little unstable because the doses are not exactly the same. How did you measure with the syringe?  It is much more accurate than other methods but tricky at very small doses.  You could dilute it with water so it is easier to the the dose right.   I believe liquid is 1mg to 1ml on

drugs. com.  You could dilute it  1ml solution with 9 mls water making 10 ml, then either take 6ml or remove and discard 4ml.  You can get 10ml oral syringes at the pharmacy or Amazon. I have syringes from 20ml to 0.5 so I can make any amount and now prefer to use the larger amounts because it's easier to get the right dose. Doses need to be precise in order to stabilise.  Chills are also a side effect of lexapro. It takes 4 days to reach a steady level normally but if you have found it hard to get the dose correct the level will not be steady yet.  Hang in there, it is good that you are improving in other things, that is a really good sign. 

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Altostrata

LTL, how are you feeling now?

 

I agree with mammaP, she covered it completely. When reinstating, you need to keep constant in your dosing. Ask your pharmacist to show you how to use an oral syringe if you are confused.

 

Look at the label on the liquid Lexapro that you have. How many milligrams are in one milliliter?

 

Most psychiatrists don't know anything about tapering or withdrawal syndrome. They might not even know how to use an oral syringe or liquid medication. Generally, they will recommend taking much higher dosages of drugs than a sensitized nervous system can handle.

 

You may be feeling side effects of Lexapro. Or you may be getting the flu, it's going around right now.

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lavendertealatte

Hi there, I'm feeling much improved. I'm kind of low energy and cold, but much better than before, I feel a lot more stable.  I went back to using my 1/8 tsp measurement.  I couldn't seem to get the syringe thing accurate, seemed there was the potential for bubbles and I wasn't sure how to make sure to get the same amount as what I was using before.  Dropped it for now, I'll have to figure it out eventually when I start tapering down again.  Makes sense that it would be easier at diluted larger doses, I didn't think of that!  I had purchased 1ml syringes and it was a pain to use.  

 

1 mg is 1ml for my lexapro.

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lavendertealatte

Forgot to take medication yesterday.

Had a breakdown yesterday and just like that, it seems the walls are crumbling again after they had felt stable.

Should I take my missed dose now, or skip it?

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brassmonkey

If it's been less than 12 hours since you missed it you might try taking half a dose to help tide you over, but if it's been longer than that it would be best to just wait until the proper time.  If you are feeling the missed dose then it is going to take several days for things to restabilize so don't panic.

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lavendertealatte

Feeling more stable.  Moved my medication to my sink so I won't miss it.

 

Wonder how long I will need to stay on this dose before I can start tapering again.

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AliG

Hi Lavender :  Can you set your phone alarm, as well, just to make sure ...  Just take it slow, for now and don't stress about getting off completely. You are at the pointy end of this and it pays to take it very gently.

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lavendertealatte

AliG :) Thanks for the encouragement.

... this past week I've been having bad anxiety.  Closer to what I felt before I started taking meds, which was scary.  This weekend I went with a bunch of teens to a camp to help be a counselor, and I was so worried about many many things, I felt nauseous at the smell and appearance of a lot of foods and I was exhausted.   I haven't had anxiety that affected my appetite for years.  At first I thought it was sickness but as it got better as the weekend progressed, I think it may have been the anxiety.  Writing this is triggering it now too.  Fear of how much to say, what kind of judgment I will get, what kind of response.  Sometimes random things would trigger the feelings of being overwhelmed and panic.  Other things didn't seem random, which discouraged me even more, thinking perhaps I can't get off medications, maybe I need them in order to function more in life to the degree I feel I need to.  My stomach symptoms haven't been letting up since I started on this taper.

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lavendertealatte

I don’t like to write this on a public forum as it just feels it must be impossible to understand or most people simply choose to leave or change their belief system but much of my anxiety which has been quite bad recently is related to church/God. I have wondered about therapy but my experience is that therapists will try to change something about my belief system that I can’t change or say something that seems can’t coexist and that makes me feel hopeless and depressed. 

 

I have read Clair Weekes’ work before, not that particular book... my problem is that floating seems to be just a coping mechanism. ... like after the fact. To me the fact that anxiety is happening in the first place is an indication that something is wrong in the way I process certain triggers which do not bother others. 

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Gridley

I understand your point.  But consider that you are in withdrawal and are not able to process triggers that do not bother others with undrugged brains. The fact that anxiety happens in the first place is caused by the drug and is not real.  It is what is called a neuroemotion.  I don't want to change your belief system, but it seems to me there is nothing wrong with using a technique to cope with something that is caused by the drug and is not coming from you.  

http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/14397-neuro-emotions/

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AliG

Hi Lavender. Gridley is right : your emotions are probably heightened right now ~ and you also recently missed a dose which may have exacerbated matters.

 

Would you mind very much updating your signature? It seems unclear. Just to be exact ~  what dose are you now on ?

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lavendertealatte

Hi gridley thanks. That’s comforting what that link says. The emotions feel so real and rooted in real experiences and thoughts :(  On a faith “religious” level it is frightening.  I think I can make an analogy to something less abstract. Like I’ve been hating my job lately. There are real things that I want to change and things that have been driving me nuts but it’s possible it’s the heightened emotions and that I wouldn’t be bothered in a more normal condition. The fear is that what if it’s not just heightened emotions. What if my “truth” is that I have to get out of this job to be not stressed anymore? Or that I have to adjust many things? Because it’s x y z that’s triggering me and if I get rid of those i could feel okay? But i want to be able to live with x y z.. like others are able to.  Or  I want to be able to do x y z. What if it’s the environment and not me that has to change cause i can’t change?  Then bam anxiety.....   I have traditionally strayed from things that seem too hard for me because I just don’t think I could handle those things. Like career wise. Maybe being a doctor could have been cool but I can’t handle the stress. But it feels like right now my circle of things I can handle is getting smaller. 

 

Im on a 1/8 tsp dose as reinstatement.  Not sure it was enough but not sure I should make any changes either. 

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AliG

 Hi Lavender : You're welcome.  :)  Thank you. 

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Gridley

Lavendarlatte,

 

 Withdrawal is a time to be kind to yourself.  My circle of things that I can do is also getting smaller.  I make an effort to do things not at the expense of my well-being.  It has been said more than once on this site that going off these drugs is the hardest thing you will ever do, but on the other side you will be better than you were before you started the drugs.  I feel this is true.  Remember, it is the drug and withdrawal that are causing the limitations, not some lack in your character.  

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Songbird
On 3/28/2018 at 6:19 PM, lavendertealatte said:

To me the fact that anxiety is happening in the first place is an indication that something is wrong in the way I process certain triggers which do not bother others. 

 

Quite likely there are many situations that "trigger" people, but usually the response is a very small burst of adrenaline which is not very noticeable and that is why it doesn't seem to "bother" people.  In a sensitised nervous system, the response is exaggerated, so we get a much larger burst of adrenaline which produces noticeable physical sensations (i.e. anxiety symptoms) which feel uncomfortable and unpleasant to us.  To put it another way, the nervous system is over-reacting.  The point of Claire Weekes' techniques is to learn not to fear the anxiety symptoms, which makes them worse, but instead observe them and realise that they are just a set of uncomfortable physical sensations caused by adrenaline.

 

 

14 hours ago, lavendertealatte said:

What if my “truth” is that I have to get out of this job to be not stressed anymore? Or that I have to adjust many things? Because it’s x y z that’s triggering me and if I get rid of those i could feel okay? But i want to be able to live with x y z.. like others are able to.  Or  I want to be able to do x y z. What if it’s the environment and not me that has to change cause i can’t change?  Then bam anxiety.....   I have traditionally strayed from things that seem too hard for me because I just don’t think I could handle those things. Like career wise. Maybe being a doctor could have been cool but I can’t handle the stress. But it feels like right now my circle of things I can handle is getting smaller. 

 

This turned out to be my "truth" - I did end up getting out of my job and changing careers.  I look back now and realise that perhaps the universe was trying to tell me something!  My career was causing me a lot of stress, making me unhappy, and I needed to be somewhere else doing something else.  It took me a long time to work out that I was always trying to live up to other people's expectations, instead of going with what felt right to me.  These kinds of life lessons can be very painful, but they can also be very valuable if we're willing to learn from them. 

 

Try not to judge yourself harshly for not being what you feel like you "should" be, or compare yourself to others. Now is a good time to learn to be kind to yourself, listen to your intuition, work out what is right for you, and give yourself what you need.  If that means having a smaller "circle" of things to handle for a while, then maybe that's the right thing for now.

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lavendertealatte

I realized mornings are the worst, and so everything I do in the morning seems to be associated with the anxiety.  

 

I really cannot get out of my job and objectively I have it quite good.  I suspect that in a normal condition I would be okay with this.  

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lavendertealatte

Yesterday I was quite happy with myself for having a pretty normal day.  Today though I am suddenly exhausted and feel myself having chills again.

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Gridley

I'm glad you had a good day.  Mornings are bad for many or most of us.  

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lavendertealatte

I am exhausted today, overwhelmed.  Had to see many people because of church and anxiety began to creep up on me as it always does when the time is over and folks are just mingling with one another.  I feel so tired and want to quit from many of my responsibilities but I don't know who to talk to.  I am too ashamed.  And I don't want to complain when I know many people are suffering or have suffered terribly.  I don't know if I should go back to see the psychiatrist, as he mentioned having a follow-up appointment, but what could he possibly do?  I feel like the contact with people has drained away all my strength.  Yesterday I spent the whole day by myself except I did see my mom, and I had the strength to try out a new recipe and bake and practice singing which often makes me feel better.  But today I feel like I am aching.  

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Rosetta

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling worse.  Can you take a bath?  That makes me feel better especially when I am aching.  It's a great sign you were able to bake!  That takes concentration and motivation.  I understand feeling overwhelmed when you have to socialize.  Overall, I think it can help with healing even if it's very uncomfortable.  I've been so achy lately.  I hope you can relieve it.

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lavendertealatte

I wonder do you all cook?  Cooking has been exhausting for me lately.  I have anxiety surrounding germs and wasting things so it makes the process probably a lot more taxing than it should be.

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Rosetta

It's hard for me, too.  The germ issue subsided as did the waste issue, but I'm confused and exhausted.  It's getting better.  

 

I use frozen dinners for myself and a lot of snacks: fruit, raw carrots, nuts, spinach dip from the store, hummus from the store -- anything that doesn't require cooking.  Do you have a Trader Joe's?  You can get healthy stuff there.  Try frozen berries with cream, apples or celery with peanut butter.  It's best to eat many small meals in WD, I have found.  Crackers and cheese, a hot dog with no bun, oatmeal, popcorn.  Cereal with milk is easy.  

 

Rosetta

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lavendertealatte

We do have a TJ's-- not close to us though, so I don't really go.  Thank you for the suggestions though for food ideas :):)  I am not used to snacking, but I do think I do better if I eat snacks throughout the day.  Cereal and milk is the best!

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lavendertealatte

I wonder how late do you all wake up?  What kind of jobs do people have?

I've always struggled waking up in the mornings, and can sleep 12 hours easily before feeling like it's time to get up.    

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Songbird

I am exactly the same and have been that way all my life.  As a kid I was always in trouble running late for school because I was so bad at getting up in the morning.  I think I am a sleep addict because I really really love to sleep.

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lavendertealatte

Me too, with being late.  X_X

 

I just got a bunny yesterday.  I've wanted a pet for awhile and have done a lot of research but now I'm super anxious.  (wow)  I'm anxious about what its personality will be like, will I ever get to bond with it, will it potty train, was this a big mistake, what if it gets sick, and dies.  When will this anxiety tone itself down, it's crazy and irrational and yet I am having stomach pain.  

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brassmonkey

I love bunnies.  We have a family living in the back yard. Five all told, three older and two little tiny ones.  I love watching them through the window or when they come to graze while I'm working on the back patio.  They are very clean animals and will box train themselves quite quickly.  Let the bonding happen and you'll have a lap bunny in no time.

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Songbird

I've never had a bunny, as we've always had cats.  I'm a bit of a softie for all small furry animals.  I bet you have fun with your bunny.  Enjoy!

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