Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted January 14, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 14, 2016 Yeah for the windows!!! This wave will pass! I had a little wave over the weekend precipitated by a trigger, came out of it by Monday, but then had a stressor hit me yesterday, didn't trigger a wave thought, but I do feel nervy raw. Had a really busy day full of physical challenges, and had to be away from home, which made me realize I really hate being away from home! I wasn't anxious, but I always wish I was home. Trying to get on with life :-) SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
joannatm Posted January 14, 2016 Author Share Posted January 14, 2016 It's weird how it comes over you. One min fine next in bad way. But at least your anxiety didn't take hold. I'm like that nothing like being at home. How long ago was your last tablet? Anyone heard from kt38? Hope you coping ok. Xxx May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
KT38 Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 Hi! I am still bad. I have super bad hypersensitivity to everything....it feels like something is always out to get me or ridiculing me. This morning I woke with that feeling like something is ripping out your soul and you just can't go on. I still have it. I get this every once in a while since stopping meds and it is at these points where I feel like there is really really something wrong with me. Do you have that? Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus). Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted January 14, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 14, 2016 It's weird how it comes over you. One min fine next in bad way. But at least your anxiety didn't take hold. I'm like that nothing like being at home. How long ago was your last tablet? Anyone heard from kt38? Hope you coping ok. Xxx Oh, I'm not done! Still tapering! Even during the tapering, though, if I get hit by stress of some kind it can bring up WD symptoms. So, always just under the surface - that is how vulnerable we are in this process! SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
joannatm Posted January 15, 2016 Author Share Posted January 15, 2016 You're doing it the right way. I think I rushed as came off when on 25mg Kt38 im so soery to hear still bad. At lesst you started to have little windows. I dont get that feeling but i get an anxiety tight feeling inside and itchy legs t times. A dread feeling xx May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
joannatm Posted January 19, 2016 Author Share Posted January 19, 2016 Well must say I've had two really good days no anxiety no negative thoughts no tears. Can say I felt 98% good. Then today bang. But two good days is a good window. Let's hope it continues. Can't believe how slow and long it takes. Take each day at a time hey. Thought update u all as it's good to sometimes hear good things. Xx May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
KT38 Posted January 19, 2016 Share Posted January 19, 2016 98% better is amazing!!!!!! Keep that in a journal so on your bad bad days you can go back and remind yourself you are healing. Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus). Link to comment
joannatm Posted January 19, 2016 Author Share Posted January 19, 2016 Are you having any more windows? How's your little one doing? Xx May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
joannatm Posted January 19, 2016 Author Share Posted January 19, 2016 Ps thank u xx May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
KT38 Posted January 19, 2016 Share Posted January 19, 2016 No windows...I am severe but I know part of that is because of my daughter. Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus). Link to comment
joannatm Posted January 20, 2016 Author Share Posted January 20, 2016 What have they suggested about your daughter? X May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
joannatm Posted February 2, 2016 Author Share Posted February 2, 2016 10 months drug free and thought give you all an update. I'm now having lots of good days roughly 90% good. Odd Thoughts come into my head of feeling I on borderline of going backwards and start to feel sad guilty but try to keep busy. anxiety not as bad as used to be but still feel it lingering in background. Still negative thoughts on work and home life for no reason. But generally I feel better than did. How is everyone that I have been in contact with? Keep me posted. May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted February 3, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 3, 2016 HI Joanna, I wasn't in contact with you when you first came on but I just wanted to say YEAH to your 90% improvement and to thank you for giving us a message of hope! You know those thoughts are probably neuro. Just remind yourself that the troubling thoughts do nothing but cause suffering, so observe, step out of them and let them float on by :-)) Don't forget that it's windows and waves, and that the thoughts may be due to being in a little wave, so hang in there and it will get better! SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
joannatm Posted February 4, 2016 Author Share Posted February 4, 2016 Thank you so much for your support and kind words. I'm hoping things will improve but always feel it lingering and thinking about it and how I'm feeling. How are you getting on with decreasing? Jo x May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
KT38 Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 Wow 90%???? That is amazing!!! So happy for you! When a wave hits hold onto those good days and just remember they will come again. I am sure you will get through this whole mess soon. This whole week I was in Dr appointments with my daughter and was about 60% better, but now it's getting bad again because I'm about to start my period. So, I know the next 2 weeks will be very very bad....curling up on the floor crying not knowing what is happening to my body. Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus). Link to comment
joannatm Posted February 6, 2016 Author Share Posted February 6, 2016 I really do feel for you so very much and no wonder all that extra emotions with your daughter. How is she feeling and what doctor thinks. I'm same as you when pmt starts wow everything goes mad. I'm always fine until comes to end pmt a week after and then I'm in bits. I'm at end now and feeling dreadful today. No reason why so I hold onto those good thoughts, well try to. Keep strong my dear and keep chatting as helps to talk your thoughts and emotions out. Xx May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
KT38 Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Some Drs. still think it is terminal cancer, some other Drs. think it might be something else, so it is all up in the air with my daughter's diagnosis. I got my period 2 days ago and was doing kind of ok an was out and about with my family ok, but today woke with bad electric head like it's trying to rip my brain in half. My windows have gotten better, but my waves have gotten worse. I hope you start to feel better soon! Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus). Link to comment
joannatm Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 That's so frustrating for you my dear. Today ok not great. Can't put finger on just feel down anxious. They do say when get longer widows waves can be harder hopefully less. At least get windows now. We roughly same time so hoping we recover soon. I'm same few days after or sometimes a week and then feel dreadful and so tired. 10 months isn't long they say x May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
joannatm Posted February 8, 2016 Author Share Posted February 8, 2016 OMG do depressing. Was doing so well and now last three days negative thoughts tired extremely anxious and tears Why oh why. It's come to end of pmt and that's all I can think it is hormone change xx May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted February 8, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 8, 2016 I'm in the same spot, Joannatm. Was doing now but in a wave, all that you described. Grrr! I don't even have the homrones to blame! Do you journal everything so you can notice a trend? We'll get through it, yes we will! SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
joannatm Posted February 8, 2016 Author Share Posted February 8, 2016 Grrr definitely. So frustrating. It's kinda always just after pmt starts. Sometimes a good week after I notice. But then again expect another wave and nothing to do with hormones. Can't help getting ya hopes up and then come crashing down. Were u starting to feel better too? How long your wave? We'll get there hey. Xxx May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted February 9, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 9, 2016 I was doing quite well, and hadn't had a wave in a long time. I was just steadily cooking along feeling generally ok, though not perfect. After this morning's good cry - tantrum, and letting my feelings out, not running from them, I felt a lot better. I've gotten on with walking the dogs and did an errand (I hate leaving the house), and working towards doing some weed whacking, so it could be a lot worse. Hopefully the wave is ending, been about five days I'd say. How are you doing now? Are you feeling a little better, I hope? SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
joannatm Posted February 9, 2016 Author Share Posted February 9, 2016 It's frustrating isn't it. I was never like this before tablets. That was more not sleeping and got in mess over it all. I woke up this morning anxious like anything and so tired. One good thing is I slept well. Mine lasts a good week I've noticed and then hopefully a window. Fingers crossed u coming out of yours. Can you feel it lift? X May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
AliG Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Hi Joanna . This process can take a while . This is " windows & waves " . PMT can exaggerate this. If you're sleeping well , that is a good sign . I hope it continues. Ali Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted February 9, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 9, 2016 I think I am out of the wave, feeling fragile but not nearly as in the dumps as yesterday morning. I don't have the fear anymore. Thinking about the things that triggered fear over the last few days doesn't now. So strange. Something to do with the change to liquid, but I think I have adjusted, hopefully. I hope you are feeling better today, Joanna! SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
joannatm Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 So pleased you've come out of wave. I find the fragile part very weird. Where I think a lot how am I feeling, and feels like it lingering in background. I always been having lots of outer experiences where I look at my family and feel they not mine and feel sad. Weird. Onwards and upwards I hope for you. You're saying liquid changed I presume that's the antidepresent liquid form? X May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted February 10, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 10, 2016 So pleased you've come out of wave. I find the fragile part very weird. Where I think a lot how am I feeling, and feels like it lingering in background. I always been having lots of outer experiences where I look at my family and feel they not mine and feel sad. Weird. Onwards and upwards I hope for you. You're saying liquid changed I presume that's the antidepresent liquid form? X I don't know what that is, derealization or depersonalization? I've had fleeting moments of that and it is very unsettling! This time it was more spikes of anxiety and feeling a raw-nerve fragile overall sensation. Yesterday, I did a lot of stuff outdoors and wanted to do more, but had the pang of anxiety and thought, I'm done, gotta go inside and rest. Even now I have pangs of raw nerve skin sensations. I started making my own liquid with mirt powder and the Ora-Plus suspension liquid because I had gotten to 14 mg and was tired of trying to break off a bit of the 15 mg pill and get it just right on my scale - so tedious! Maybe it's because it is powder rather than chunks, that I'm absorbing it differently somehow, or the dose is a little less than 14 due to powder sticking to the lid or something. I find it hard to get the powder fully into the liquid because it is so insoluble, it clumps. So, if I use something to try to stir....grrrr. I just got the SolTabs so will see if they dissolve and mix more easily. How are you today, Joanna? You are totally free of the meds, now, and that is wonderful! I was 10 months out when I reinstated Effexor last year, not realizing what was happening to me. I hope you can push through this period since it seems like a lot of people start to have longer windows and lesser waves past a year. I wish I knew what was happening, found SA and had pushed through, would be so nice to say that I'd be 1.5 years out from coming off at this point if I had! Hoping for a better day for both of us! SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
joannatm Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 It is so lovely to be in touch with people like yourself who totally understand where you coming from. So you went back on after 10 months cause you felt so bad still? That must be hard work sorting meds into liquid. When you thinking coming off completely? I still can't get it in my head its WD even now. Today had real moments of derealisation and it frightens me so i get tearful and anxious as feel I'm not here and family not mine and where has time gone and why we here. Strange feeling. I was doing so very well for nearly a month and this happens again. You get your hopes up and then get kicked down gutted. How you feeling now? Do you work? Got kids? X May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted February 10, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 10, 2016 Well, I didn't know I was in withdrawal! I was suffering all that you are, but didn't understand what was happening and none of the five doctors I had seen put it together with my coming off Effexor the summer before! I was so scared and miserable that I was desperate. My husband thought it was the Effexor, but wasn't thinking withdrawal but that I just needed it (relapse). However, I have NEVER experienced any of that prior in my life, and my depression before meds was very situational and about low self-esteem, perfectionism, procrastination, never feeling good enough, etc., so what I was experiencing was 1000 times beyond that. I know the fear you are feeling, and had all of what you described, though the not feeling real was sporadic. Definitely felt lost in life and where did the time go and what had happened - I felt hung out in a world that was terrifying. I wish so much that I knew why it was all happening as maybe I could have pushed through. Not knowing just left me desperate and terrified. That whole experience left me with PTSD, so I don't even know when I'll get off completely. I am desperate to be free but know that going too fast would be disastrous. I am focused on getting the mirt down with the 10% taper, though I've been holding since the liquid threw me off. I know I am not supposed to taper two meds at once, but I did initially taper the ven last summer and then have been sneaking it down by 1 mg gross weight at a time when I weigh out my two weeks' worth. I didn't do that on the last batch, held at 27.38 mg. I am in the danger zone, where each small cut opens up a lot of receptors and can cause destabilization, so I think it will be the Brassmonkey slide when I turn my attention to ven and hold the mirt for awhile. I think in all honestly it's going to take a couple of years. I started last July. I just want to be sure that my system really is kicking in for itself before I ever drop that last bead. I really feel for you, Joanna. What you describe sounds so familiar, and I just want to say that you ARE healing, and you are very brave to sit with what you are experiencing. It won't stay like this, that is for sure! It WILL pass. When you find yourself experiencing the scary stuff, just try to say "there it is again, those neuro-emotions - this is withdrawal, and it will pass!" Big hugs to you!! SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
joannatm Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 You will get through this but it's going 5o take time. You're doing it the right way. I rushed by looks of things. I do think like today is this going to happen all my life up and down. Am I bi polar. Today slight tearful but okish. Wave been 6 days now. Then I think maybe I always been like this and not noticed if u know what I mean. I get very negative and try perk self up. Off to work now. Xx May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
AliG Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 You are going fine , J . Keep it up ! Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
joannatm Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 Thank u so much. X May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
joannatm Posted February 17, 2016 Author Share Posted February 17, 2016 Having a weird feeling today. Can't put my finger on it. Just don't feel right. Feel like not on this planet and real fed up. How's everyone doing lately. Not heard anything for a while x May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted February 17, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 17, 2016 Hi Joanna, Oy, that sounds awful! I hate feeling that way, a disturbance that isn't really related to anything! What to do for self-care? Perhaps some meditation? I went through a bad couple of weeks because I made liquid mirt, made too big of a batch and I think it lost its potency. It wasn't super bad but I'm a weenie when it comes to experiencing anxiety, especially those "pangs" that hit out of nowhere. I guess I have PTSD from my protracted WD last year! So, I went back to dry-cutting and that fixed me up Monday and Tuesday, but today I felt depression in the background. Depression has been my solution of choice over the years, particularly surround not feeling in control of external forces and blowing things out of proportion. I realized that was what was happening so did a "cycle" with a check in buddy, moved out a lot of emotion and felt much better afterwards. Well, this type of thinking has been with me throughout the years of being on meds and before. Kind of discouraging to know it is still there waiting to ruin my day when I am finally free of meds. But, I'm recognizing it better when it happens and using the "tools" to deal with it, which is what I should have been doing all along. I gotta wonder why I kept taking the danged meds even though I was still having depression?!! D'oh, isn't that insane, to keep taking a substance that is supposed to "fix" depression but isn't working?!!! I hope you can move that energy out! SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
joannatm Posted February 17, 2016 Author Share Posted February 17, 2016 So you have most of life had depression? Like you, I took sertraline but felt same on it as off it. Why oh why stayed on it 5 years. Gutted waves windows all time. Hate distance and outer body experience. You think you be same off as on too x May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals. December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child. January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much. July 2010 taper off within a month. Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still. Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg. December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted February 18, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 18, 2016 So you have most of life had depression? Like you, I took sertraline but felt same on it as off it. Why oh why stayed on it 5 years. Gutted waves windows all time. Hate distance and outer body experience. You think you be same off as on too x I would say yes, that before meds I had depression throughout my life, but it's hard to explain....I mean, I would say by definition that anyone with an eating disorder has depression, but at the same time I was numbing out. it was about low self-esteem, perfectionism, never feeling good enough, and frustration about not being able to control things leading to a depressed state. But I think I functioned much better before meds than on! I definitely had spells while on where things seemed a much bigger deal to me, big blow-outs, friendships ended, because I went into an extreme state that I don't think I would have before the meds. Well, working on the "issues" finally in a concrete way, so hopefully when I'm off I'll be able to cope with myself better :-) I can honestly say that I never liked myself before and during, but have finally learned to love my Self, not judge myself, beat myself up, etc. I hope tomorrow is a better day! BTW, I always find playing my favorite upbeat music on Pandora lifts me up, one of my best "self-care" techniques! Take care, Joanna! Tomorrow brings new opportunities, and beyond that i will try not to overthink about the future! SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
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