Jump to content
Cipramillion

Cipramillion: Cipralex

Recommended Posts

LexAnger

I'm glad Lexapro didn't impact you badly on that part. I'm like a walking body without a head.

I am supposedly work in office three days each week and from home the other two days. I haven't been able to make to office until like noon time in the past whole year since drug reaction-- too sick physically and mentally to get out, I even pushed to office today, all I did is one simple email of one line which took lots time to draft. Had a 1-1 meeting with one of my direct reports in a total DR and mental confusion, don't know how I made the conversation though, caught up more serious stuff addressing comments from reviewers on a document I prepared a while back-- in a total DR again. Somehow even in severe DR, my subconcesnes took over to talk, work like I did today in the meeting and on the document. It's very Barrier. And that was how I managed to do some work in the past year most of the time. I have postponed a presentation for several months as I am afraid I will suddenly collapse then everyone will know I'm a total crap. I can't go to meetings in person, while dialing in for meetings, it's also my subconcesnes talks.

 

When in severe pain, I still have some confidence, but when my brain is not own, confused and in DR, I lose every bit confidence.

 

I want to tell you that you are an aspiration, strong, determined, calm even in so much pain! Your strength will carry you over this misery!

 

Big hugs!

Share this post


Link to post
Cipramillion

It pains me to hear about the all the suffering you are going through. No sane person would take the risk eating Lexapro If they knew about stories like yours.

 

I feel like Im burning up from the inside. Constant pain and intense uneasiness. Psychic torture is the right word, i think. Mindfullness and acceptence is the only way i can stand this suffering. like a messed up monk, waiting for a small window, which Im sure will come soon.

 

Hang in there, friend!

 

Hugs!

Share this post


Link to post
Cipramillion

One month off Lexapro as im writing this.

 

Im struggling with a sinus infection at the moment, so hard to say whats what, but i def have experienced a lot of WD symptoms since i jumped off. My sleep is improving which is a good sign i guess.

 

4 weeks is nothing in the long run, but every improvement or sign is a blessing these days

Share this post


Link to post
Rain

Nice to hear you are having better sleep! That is really a great news, first step of healing! I am still struggling with my sleeping issue, too, I never experienced these before.

Share this post


Link to post
LexAnger

Hi Cipromillion,

 

How are you doing?

Has the akathesia lessened some? I have been thinking of you today during my most severe bugs crawling -- real hell!

 

Hope you are having more improvement since the sleep got better.

 

Lex

Share this post


Link to post
Cipramillion

Thx for asking me, Lex! Sorry to hear about the akathisia crawling. Nasty stuff! ????

 

Im in a wave with worse akathisia. I've been drinking decaf coffee lately, and was shocked to find out that it actually contains a substantial amount of caffeine! That explains why my akathisia has skyrocket this last week ???? Im so sensitive to food, and lifestyle is everything at the moment. My sleep is still improving and my vivid dreams/nightmares are almost gone completely.

 

Im allergic to pollen, and the season are starting now. Need to take my nasal corticostereoid spray soon. Hopefully my system will handle that smoothly.

 

How are you feeling yourself these days?

Share this post


Link to post
Rain

Hey mate, just come in and say hello, hope you are better today! 

 

Rain

Share this post


Link to post
AliG

Cipramillion.  It must feel great to be drug free. How are your symptoms ? Has anything changed ?  If I were you I would avoid the usual steroid nasal spray and perhaps stick to a saline salt spray which is side effect free.

 

You may want to look into green tea and cacao . They are a great way to come off caffeine but they also have health benefits that are worth pursuing.

 

Have you tried Melatonin for sleep ? I have found it to be helpful in withdrawal at a low dose to start with :  0 . 25 mg.

Share this post


Link to post
LexAnger

I hate to hear you are still in the wave! It's so unfair and heartbreaking after all you did the slow and smooth taper, it still hit badly jumping off this poison!

 

Your strength and determination will carry you over to the other side with full freedom and recovery!

 

Much love and hugs,

Lex

Share this post


Link to post
Happy2Heal

 

 

You may want to look into green tea and cacao . They are a great way to come off caffeine but they also have health benefits that are worth pursuing.

 

 

just know that green tea is not caffeine free. there is a decaf green tea but just like with decaf coffee, there's still a small amnt of caffeine in it, however it is usually less than what's in decaf coffee.

I think how you brew it/steep it may also make a difference.

Share this post


Link to post
AliG

Thanks Catnapt .  :)  It is an important distinction . I was thinking of it more in a stepping off  fashion -  coming off the caffeine slowly so as not to have withdrawal etc. with the view of phasing it out altogether, eventually.

 

However, for a totally caffeine free tea you could try Rooibos or any of the herbal teas. Rooibos is an African tea that is naturally caffeine free therefore avoiding the chemicals involved in the decaffeinate process.    

 

C. I hope this wave ends for you soon. I understand how tiring this process can seem at times but you are moving in a positive direction and it can only get better from this point on .

Share this post


Link to post
Happy2Heal

Thanks Catnapt .  :)  It is an important distinction . I was thinking of it more in a stepping off  fashion -  coming off the caffeine slowly so as not to have withdrawal etc. with the view of phasing it out altogether, eventually.

 

However, for a totally caffeine free tea you could try Rooibos or any of the herbal teas. Rooibos is an African tea that is naturally caffeine free therefore avoiding the chemicals involved in the decaffeinate process.    

 

C. I hope this wave ends for you soon. I understand how tiring this process can seem at times but you are moving in a positive direction and it can only get better from this point on .

 

oh yes rooibos tea is great, I drink that hot and then for a cold drink, I use a high antioxident tea made with hibiscus leaves (celestial seasons has several like Wild berry zinger) that I cold brew in the fridge

 

 

 

Some brands of tea don't use chemicals to decaf their tea, they use water, but to avoid the expense, you can decaffeinate your own teas by first pouring boiling water over it, just enough to cover, then pour that water off, most of the caffeine is washed off and then you add water to the washed out tea bag/leaves and drink that. A little trick I learned about when trying to find ways to save money :-)

 

Cipramillion, I hope you are doing better.

as Ali mentioned you might want to skip the steroid nasal spray and look into using a saline one or neti pot or something.

I'm going to try to go with out my Flonase this summer, I sure hope the saline stuff works!

unfortunately a lot of allergens can still enter thru other places besides your nose, so we'll see how that goes.

Share this post


Link to post
Cipramillion

Thank you for all the support and advice, friends. I will never forget this! 

 

Been a few busy days so sorry for the late reply.

 

Im happy to say that i`ve been experiencing a few windows this week. My akathisia has improved a lot, to the point that im almost not noticing it at all! Sleep is ticking in at 7-8 hours every night, and i excersise (running) at a regular basis now. I know this probably not gonna last for long, but still im enjoying every second of these windows. It gives me a lot of hope now that i know my CNS is healing. 

 

Started my treatment for season allergy yesterday. Its a nasal spray (avamys). I did take it last year, a point where my WD was at its hight. It went pretty well, so hoping this is the case now also. My symptoms are really nasty. This spray is the only thing that works for me. Without it im just a wreck. Will not use it for more than a few months at the time as corticostereoids might cause som systemic effects, even at small doses. 

 

I have to stay away from all stimulants. No coffe and tea at all. Caffeine turns into havoc in my CNS. But thx for the advice. I will look more into it when im feeling even better later. 

 

Wish you all the best. We will win this battle! 

 

Big hugs!

Share this post


Link to post
Rain

Wow! Such a great news! I'm happy for you mate!

Share this post


Link to post
AmyK

How wonderful with those windows! Believe and put your trust in those, C.

Keep on, many hugs!

Share this post


Link to post
Happy2Heal

glad to hear that things are improving.  :)

who knows, maybe it will be ALL windows from here on. that would be wonderful, eh? :)

Share this post


Link to post
LexAnger

You risks Cipromillion!

 

So happy the wave is tiding down! More bigger windows are on the way!

 

Looking forward to more hearings from you!

 

Lex

Share this post


Link to post
LexAnger

Omg, just found the many bad typos in my previous post above. Apology cipromillion!

 

How are you doing lately?

Share this post


Link to post
Cipramillion

Omg, just found the many bad typos in my previous post above. Apology cipromillion!

 

How are you doing lately?

Dont worry about typos. My english is far from perfect ????

 

Im feeling better and enjoying a holiday in spain. A week in the sun cant hurt. I was attacked by a swarm of mosquitos last night. Almost 30 bites! Got some pretty nasty reaction, and my skin has swollen a lot. Feel a bit weak from that, but nothing i cant handle. After the experience with akathisia i feel i can handle whatever comes at me at this point.

 

Ive noticed the Weather really affects me more than i first thought. Low pressure makes symptoms much worse. This week the akathisia has faded out almost completely. Gotta love the sun and high pressure weather!

 

Im an optimist again ????

 

How are you feeling? Hope you are doing Ok.

 

Hugs!

Share this post


Link to post
AmyK

I love your optimism. Deep (really deep...) down I am an optimist myself, it´s just hidden somewhere :)

 

Enjoy the sun! I long for it myself. Sweden has been so cold this spring.

I hope the mosquito bites calm down quickly. Compared to akathisia I bet it's nothing.

Hugs!

Share this post


Link to post
LexAnger

You are a true warrior cipromillion !

It gives me lots hope and streghth to continue and look forward!

 

Sorry about the bites. My body always reacts to mosquito bites in a huge way, oh mine, 30 bites can be very distressing. But like you said, after experiencing akathesia and the nasty issues caused by these drugs, everything else is not a big deal.

 

Enjoying the sun in Spain, what a great way to mark the milestone of freedom from this poison!

 

wish you all the best,

Lex

Share this post


Link to post
Cipramillion

Update. 8 weeks off Lexapro. 

 

Im happy to say that my symptoms have improved a lot over the last couple of weeks. My akathisia is almost completely gone. Its such a huge relief, and i have to pinch my arm sometimes, just to remind myself this is real. 

My sleep is also better (7-8 hours every night). I can tolerate caffeine and sugar now, and it wont trigger akathisia like before. I`ve gained some weight lately because all those lovely deserts and chocolate  :P

 

The fatigue is still present, but comes mostly in short waves (usally a few hours), and then it will pass again. The corticol spikes are less intense, but still a problem in the morning. I need my sleep mask every night, and it helps a lot with this problem. The vivid dreams/nightmares are present, but less intense than before.

 

I still dont feel like myself, and that bothers me even more these days. Its hard to put my finger on it. Just feels like im a different person than i was before i took the drug. It makes me sad to thin about this fact, and its hard to accept. It also makes me angry and scared sometimes. Seems like the psychological symptoms are creeping in on me more than before.

 

Im just gonna focus on the positive side of things, which is a huge improvement from where i was one month back. This window sure feels good right now :) 

Share this post


Link to post
AmyK

Thankyou for the update, C. It is so good to see that you are doing better.

Dont be scared, you are still recovering and is going in the right direction. Things will continue to change for the better. You are doing so right to focus on the positive.

Hugs!!

Share this post


Link to post
LexAnger

Cipromillion, this is such a wonderful update! I'm truly happy for you and hear your declaration of freedom from this most dangerous poison!

 

Your determination and streghth is an aspiration to all of us!

 

I have full faith that you will get your emotion back like scottly999 did.

 

I wish we can throw a big celebration for you for winning this horrodous war! Hats off to you!!

 

Lex

Share this post


Link to post
Cipramillion

Thank you so much for those beautiful and encouraging words, friends. I will never forget this. I dont even want to think about where my life would have been without the support and information i found on this site. A difference that makes a difference!

 

I see now how important the micro taper was. The last part is hard, but on a regular or higher dose, this would end up a disaster. I consider myself lucky at this point, even tho my symptoms are not fully healed. 

 

You are in my thoughts and i will support you all the way in this battle. We`re gonna win!

Share this post


Link to post
AmyK

<3 Stay strong.

Love, Amy

Share this post


Link to post
Happy2Heal

you're doing great! you've got this!

;-)

Share this post


Link to post
Cipramillion

Update:

 

Im 3 months off Lexapro now. Its clear to me that this medication has been giving me terrible reactions even at microscopic doses. The worst WD after jumping off 0.04mg has faded, but the waves are still there (more mild). Some neuro emotions. I can tolerate coffee and sugar now :D Have not tested alcohol yet, but prob will try a glass of wine soon. I actually think my WD mostly is related to my first CT episode, and not a consequence of the final jump now. All in all i have improved a lot after my last dose. Hope this is good news to all of you suffering on ultra low doses. Just know the reaction could be far more significant than you think. Hopefully the WD after the final jump will not last for that long. Im amazed how strong this drug is.

 

Share this post


Link to post
LexAnger

Cipramillion, this is so wonderful to hear!

happy tears in my eyes for you getting your life back!!!

 

May I suggest to hold a bit longer for alcohol?

enjoy the rich flavor of a warm cup of coffee with sugar:)

 

lex

Share this post


Link to post
Cipramillion

Thank you so much, Lex! Your words always cheers me up, friend :D 

 

You are completely right about the alcohol. I tend to get excited when im in a good window. It has made me do some stupid things before, so i need to learn to hold back until im ready. Thank you for reminding me! The taste of coffee in the morning sure is awsome! I appriciate the small things of everyday life even more now than before. Being in WD- hell for many months/years sure gives us some perspective on life.  

 

What is your current dose?

 

Im gonna cheer on you all the way to the finishing line! Stay focused and stick to your plan. I believe in you!  

 

Big hugs!


 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Happy2Heal
On 6/10/2017 at 5:05 AM, Cipramillion said:

Im amazed how strong this drug is.

 

 

I hear you on that!! It's shocking to me that a tiny reduction has such a huge effect.

 

I am so glad to hear that you're doing better. May things only improve from here on out!!

 

Share this post


Link to post
Cipramillion
1 hour ago, Happy2Heal said:

 

I hear you on that!! It's shocking to me that a tiny reduction has such a huge effect.

 

I am so glad to hear that you're doing better. May things only improve from here on out!!

 

Thank you, Happy2heal. Im fairly optimistic when it comes to further healing from this terrible drug. It just takes a lot of time to get there. 

 

How are you doing these days? You still in Lamictal 12mg?

 

Best whises!

Share this post


Link to post
Happy2Heal
10 minutes ago, Cipramillion said:

Thank you, Happy2heal. Im fairly optimistic when it comes to further healing from this terrible drug. It just takes a lot of time to get there. 

 

How are you doing these days? You still in Lamictal 12mg?

 

Best whises!

 

 

Boy does it take a lot of time!! It's taking far longer than I ever expected- but I've decided that it's time for me to face the fact that I need to slow things down even more.

I had this idea early on that I'd be one of those lucky few who could breeze thru this, If I just had the "right" attitude and "believe" hard enough, like believing it would go fast  would make that happen. Wishful thinking is all it really was. I was banking on "mind over matter"- but the "matter" (chemicals) in these drugs are just too freaking strong.


I think I need to hold for a long time, maybe 6 mos or more. I have "decided" this in the past, and then after a few good days, gotten reckless and gone down in the dose, only to go thru a bad wave. Like the one I am just now getting over. :P

What gets me confused is that I believe that the improvements I've made have to do with having less of the drug in my system, so I am eager to get to the point where I'm totally off it.

 

but rushing it, it's just not working out that well.

 

I am doing ok today so far, thanks for asking! going day by day, sometimes hour by hour or minute by long agonizing minute, on bad days :/

 

yes, I am still taking 12.5 mgs of lamictal. I don't plan to stop that til after I'm off the lexapro completely, UNLESS I notice that I'm having issues with it. It's a tiny dose and I do believe it's not anywhere near as strong as lexapro is, plus it's not an SSRI.  it's an anti seizure med so I guess it's just slowing down electrical signals in my brain.......? I don't know. I bet the drug manufacturers and doctors don't really know 100% what it's doing, either :(

but it's made the past few months bearable so I"m sticking with it for now.

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Cipramillion
7 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

 

 

Boy does it take a lot of time!! It's taking far longer than I ever expected- but I've decided that it's time for me to face the fact that I need to slow things down even more.

I had this idea early on that I'd be one of those lucky few who could breeze thru this, If I just had the "right" attitude and "believe" hard enough, like believing it would go fast  would make that happen. Wishful thinking is all it really was. I was banking on "mind over matter"- but the "matter" (chemicals) in these drugs are just too freaking strong.


I think I need to hold for a long time, maybe 6 mos or more. I have "decided" this in the past, and then after a few good days, gotten reckless and gone down in the dose, only to go thru a bad wave. Like the one I am just now getting over. :P

What gets me confused is that I believe that the improvements I've made have to do with having less of the drug in my system, so I am eager to get to the point where I'm totally off it.

 

but rushing it, it's just not working out that well.

 

I am doing ok today so far, thanks for asking! going day by day, sometimes hour by hour or minute by long agonizing minute, on bad days :/

 

yes, I am still taking 12.5 mgs of lamictal. I don't plan to stop that til after I'm off the lexapro completely, UNLESS I notice that I'm having issues with it. It's a tiny dose and I do believe it's not anywhere near as strong as lexapro is, plus it's not an SSRI.  it's an anti seizure med so I guess it's just slowing down electrical signals in my brain.......? I don't know. I bet the drug manufacturers and doctors don't really know 100% what it's doing, either :(

but it's made the past few months bearable so I"m sticking with it for now.

 

 

 

 

 

I think you are doing the right thing not rushing it. The fast route is not worth it If the price is prolonged WD. Always smart not to taper more than one drug at the same time. The world is not black/white, and sometimes even a small dose can be helpful for many people. 

 

I was in the same boat, stuck in the reaction and WD-chain. I jumped from a ultra low dose (0.04 mg), and even then WD did hit me pretty hard. The symptoms subsided after a couple of months, so hopefully that might be the benefit of tapering down to microscopic doses. 

 

What is your current dose of Lexapro? 

 

Keep up the good work. Lokking forward to follow your journey towards Further recovery! 

 

Hugs! 

 

Share this post


Link to post
LexAnger

Just to chime in, happy2heal, using cipramillion thread.

 

You said:

What gets me confused is that I believe that the improvements I've made have to do with having less of the drug in my system, so I am eager to get to the point where I'm totally off it.

 

from your signature, you were on and off Lexapro a few times with breaks as long as 5 months before RI in October 2015. I read many who RI or updosed lex often face the risk of drug reaction. How much did you RI initially? It says 0.05 ml what is the mg in it? 

 

Giving that you were around 20 mg about two years back, and now at 0.18mg, it's a good idea to stretch as long as possible for the brain to catch up. I found even a tiny dose 0.01 mg can make a huge difference. I had similar experience that when I drop more, often times I felt better overall even with WD worsening as the reaction symptoms are the ones really tourturous and debilitating. But again, WD can be bad too. So a dance between the two evils is what we are dealing with.

lex,

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Happy2Heal
15 hours ago, Cipramillion said:

What is your current dose of Lexapro? 

 

Keep up the good work. Lokking forward to follow your journey towards Further recovery! 

 

Hugs! 

 

 

thanks Cip, hugs to you too.

my current dose of lexapro is 0.18mgs

 

one thing I will not do is go up in the dose, I tried that back in the fall and it only made things worse.

so I'll hold for now and try to see if that smooths out the remaining WD symptoms. I'd love to be able to sleep more (now still only getting 3 to 5 broken hours per night) and I'd like less daytime anxiety, and I think I have some mild depression...? not sure. just not feeling too great, but not really bad either.

I have no motivation to do things and no interest in my old hobbies. Sometimes I get racing thoughts, other times, I can't concentrate. It's an odd mix of symptoms, all fairly mild, but annoying in that there seems to be no break from them.

 

It's a ton better than severe symptoms with no break but it's draining, you know?

:/

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.