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Coopergirl1

Lost my feelings for my boyfriend and want them back

110 posts in this topic

It's the pills alright. Yes I did mention it.  When I was in poopout before I started tapering I had lost all feelings toward my wife of 32 years.  I somehow knew they were buried deep inside, but they were totally inaccessible and inexpressible.  It was very distressing for both of us.  Over the course of my taper they have slowly returned and I am once again head over heels for her.  It will come for you, trust in yourself and the relationship, keep the communications open and if he's the keeper you think he is things will be fine. 

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Hi, I've just wrote in PSSD thread about this issue. First months with PSSD I felt like a doll... a baby with no sex feelings and libido and drove me crazy really... after that I realized I couldn't "like" guys anymore...this leaded.me to be depressed and the anxiety that brought me to Escitalopram has come back to stay. I had a window in August and I was with my friend... it was amazing I could feel again the attraction ( notbas strong as before but i was extremlu happy becquse i felt human again)but this window is closed since then and I'm becoming obsessed with the issue

 

I can't enjoy life because of the anxiety and feel very down because is so strong that sometimes impaired me to work. The anguish is cruel.

 

I continue fighting with exercise and go by walking everywhere.... I can't be social because I feel uncomfortable with guys around.me or.my friends talking about flirting issues.

 

I need to talk to people who are passing through this... you can send.me private messages to avoid saturate the thread if you want.

 

I hope if you feel some recovery you will post it. Everything is better in companion!

 

Thank you and peace

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By the way. Do you nhappen to dream you fall in love or infatuation?

 

I have had 4 dreams about the topic... they are very lively and I can feel deeply the sensation.of love or infatuation... I wonder if this.means that I still keep the capacity in me and my body when I sleep tries to recover it.

 

When I wake up the sensation is gone absolutely but yeah! I have dreamt it so its a piece of hope...

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I have lost my emotions and libido as well. I'm still on the meds. Something is seriously wrong with my brain, I can feel it, many things are not like they used to be. 

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I feel the same. I am back on 25 MG zoloft and I have been weaning down. I went completely off. I feel like a zombie and just a actress in my life

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There's no reason to worry about if you are still having pills. PSSD is known to be a syndrome that occurs when you stop taking them and the sexual and emotional dysfunction persists after a long time

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I wonder how long..I went off these pills so badly. How long did you taper for if I can ask and what were you taking?

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Coopergirl1 THANK YOU! I really am trying to stick with it, I only see him like twice a week now because I honestly just don't want to be around him and I know that's AWFUL and not true to how I feel. Everyone on here seems to have this issues while taking the medications, but I never had a problem while on lexapro just now that I am off of it =/ Ugh. I hope it fades 

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Can anyone tell me their experiences tapering down and feelings slowly coming back? I just feel so cold and distant and this is not me. Currently tapered down to 20mg zoloft and working VERY slow to get to zero..not going to rush. I do see moments and feel moments of love so I have hope. Is 20 MG zoloft enough to still mask feelings, sorry to bother. I appreciate all of you

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Can anyone tell me their experiences tapering down and feelings slowly coming back? I just feel so cold and distant and this is not me. Currently tapered down to 20mg zoloft and working VERY slow to get to zero..not going to rush. I do see moments and feel moments of love so I have hope. Is 20 MG zoloft enough to still mask feelings, sorry to bother. I appreciate all of you

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I wonder how long..I went off these pills so badly. How long did you taper for if I can ask and what were you taking?

 

Not sure if this was directed towards me but... I did what I now realize was a fast taper. It was a scheduled my Dr and I came up with. I tapered from 10mg to none in 4 weeks. I don't remember EXACTLY but I believe I went straight to 5mg for 5 days, then to 1/4 pill for 5 days, then to 1/4 a pill every other day to no pill. 

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It's the pills alright. Yes I did mention it.  When I was in poopout before I started tapering I had lost all feelings toward my wife of 32 years.  I somehow knew they were buried deep inside, but they were totally inaccessible and inexpressible.  It was very distressing for both of us.  Over the course of my taper they have slowly returned and I am once again head over heels for her.  It will come for you, trust in yourself and the relationship, keep the communications open and if he's the keeper you think he is things will be fine. 

When taking my pills (lexapro) I NEVER felt like this or had any issues with libido or apathy... but without the pills I am completely cold. I tapered (quickly I realize now) but it's been over 3 months now and it's just getting worse. Wondering if it is a sign I should be back on the meds- which I am REALLY REALLY not wanting. 

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Nicole did you get my inbox message?

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Nicole did you get my inbox message?

Yes- I replied- I think hah! 

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Hi Nicole how are you?

Brassmonkey-are you doing OK

XxCoopergirl

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I'm hanging in there- had a decent weekend with family. 

How about you? 

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Hi CG-- so far a lot better than last week, but it's still early Monday. Spent Saturday with friends then outside in the cold and rain taking the haunt down on sunday.  How was your weekend?

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Brassmonkey- I wanted to thank you for your help yesterday.I also would like to ask should I be disappointed my feelings aren't coming back right away for my boyfriend. He is so wonderful which is why I can't figure out why they haven't yet. Currently on 20mg zoloft and tapering very slowly. I see and feel glimpses of happiness when I am with him. That is a good sign right and as I heal those will become longer and eventually stick? I pray so. Thanks again superman.

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You're very welcome CG.

 

Getting little glimpses is a wonderful thing, they prove that the feelings are still there.  However, all his wonderfulness is not going to speed up all the changes your brain has to make to recover from CTing the zoloft.  His wonderfulness will make you more comfortable while it's happening.  Trying to guess how long it will take is pretty useless.  With each of us reacting so differently to these drugs we can't tell, from what I've seen it will probably take a while, but as you're already seeing it does happen.  As the feelings slowly reemerge it's like falling in love all over again, wonderful, exciting and frustrating all at the same time.  It also gives you time to explore those feeling and understand them as they popup a little bit at a time.  Quite the bonding experience.

 

With that said, all of your other emotions, that have been hidden by the drugs, will be trying to reemerge at the same time, and will be fighting for your attention.  Heavy mood swings, depression, frustration, anger are all very common in recovery, I'm not saying they will happen, but be mindful if you start feeling things that are not like you.  Like everything else in recovery they will pass with time.

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Brass- I haven't seen a TON of feedback on losing relationship feelings on here but tons of feedback showing proof that these drugs do blunt love and emotional attachment. I am trying not to make any rash decisions..I assume you were able to stay in your marriage because we'll you're married. Did you ever get the urge to leave? I cry thinking about leaving so that must mean somewhere inside I do love this person God has given to me.

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Having a better day today..urge to leave is coming and going but last night I was happy I stayed. Those glimpses of hope and light HAVE to mean something right?

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Coopergirl1, I will give a bad(sad) example, sometimes I see my daughter, and I know I love my daughter and I know it is MY daughter and I know she is a big part why I am hanging on, on worst days.

But the feelings are not there a lot, like it is just a child. And sometimes I don't even know how to behave at home, i am this totally distance from everything person(aside from all other symptoms). It is heartbreaking, heart-wrenching and just totally awful.

These feelings hit, where one is most vulnerable, my daughter is the most dear person to me, any child is to parents, of course!!!

I don't know what your future is with your bf, nobody does but these urges have nothing to do with that future outcome of your relationship. You are vulnerable and it hits there HARD. Don't analyze every single moment what you feel for your bf.

I have cried in the last few months more than anytime in my life that I can remember. When I get very down and desperate I cry because I can't imagine that I missing my child's days growing up, I cry because what if I end up like this for good, crippled with depression, and other symptoms, not having an emotional relationship with her and my family, I cry because I am so preoccupied with my suffering that in some ways I just want to suffer by myself with noone around. I can't bring these months back now but the future what keeps me crying...

Sorry, if this example doesn't resonate with your situation but your feelings are out of place in general.

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This absolutely and completely makes sense. We need to snap ourselves out of this hell hole and be where we are needed to be. We can do this. Life is not over but only on the road to recovery. I needed that extra boost today and i cant thank you enough. I know you will love your daughter again and be like omg that is MY little girl and I love her more than the world. Trust me in time these feelings have to come back and when they do we will cry from happiness and not from sad.

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I am so sorry to hear that others have same problems as I. I ended my latest relationship because of this awful withdrawal. I didn't want to waste my girl's life because I wanted all the best for her because I thought that she deserve good guy who can love her and fill her needs. It was big relief for me because I felt so guilty daily. Maybe I will regret it later but at least that will tell me that I'm recovering.

 

I feel very related to this topic (although I dont have a girlfriend at the moment),

 

Since my second round of prozac in early 2015, I have lost all the interest in getting in a romantic relationship.

 

Before prozac I was the kind of guy who was always falling for girls. Many of my male friends have always been the typical guys thinking first about sex and second about a relationship, However, I had always been the kind of guy who valued much more the intimacy of a relationship than the sex, much much more, my friends used to make fun of me for that.

 

Actually the first time that I had a crush on a girl, I was 4 years old, lol, I was that kind of kid that always liked someone of my school.

 

Now that seems to have dissapeared from my personality,,, and I really hope it comes back some day...

 

This message is like from my pen except this came in my life few months after I quiting Sertraline. I have had many girlfriends because I got crushed very easily but staying together was much harder.


 

Hi Coppergirl-- I was just commenting on another thread that loss of feelings/emotions is one of the most common symptoms people experience on these drugs  Every member here has experienced it in one form or another.  That's how these drugs are designed to work, they don't cure the depression/anxiety or what ever they just make it so you don't care about it anymore, and in the process make it so you don't care about anything.

 

Hope that gives a little perspective.

 

 

It scares me that I got this emotional numbing and PSSD after I ended Sertraline as I have mentioned earlier, not when I was using it. So for me Sertraline worked different way. Hopefully my feelings will return too even if I lost them for different reason.

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Hi everyone! Down to 18mg of zoloft ( and as my mom will laugh at me for saying wow im at 18 now! ) - as she thinks 18 mg of zoloft is far too little to make me feel any different. I believe it is. The lower I go on my dosage the less I want to up and leave my partner. I am wondering should I be worried that my feelings havent fully returned yet? Is there hope for the future. I believe and hope once I am fully off and my brain heals I will return to me. Does this make any sense? Thanks alot!

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"the less I want to up and leave my partner."  That statement speak volumes.  You have switched thinking from not wanting to loose my boyfriend to not wanting to leave my partner.  It's bringing tears to my eyes so I gotta be careful as I'm at work.  You're going to be fine.

 

(((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

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Thanks for your reassurance..I can be such a baby at times and need that little extra knowledge! <3

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Hi guys- had a great 2 days with my love. Feeling very connected and then last night and today feeling distant and just like I was before..can you tell me are those 2 days where i could feel connected to him windows? I will be happy if that is true! Thanks so much! It will help me ride this next wave if so!

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That sounds like a window where your feelings came back!,  Dont get discouraged if the windows are far away though, I had a window some weeks ago but I feel emotionally flat again since then.

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If not for these waves and windows theory I probably wouldve given up by now! It is nice to hear that this sounds like a window..onto ride the next wave......hoping its a short one!

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Sounds like it was a lovely two day window to me.  Make note of it and remember that it happened because it is easy to forget when you get caught up in a wave.

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Hi all.....i am living the same problem. I am in a long relationship(8yrs), survived through wd. But now i am tapering again...no feelings. I have also obsession with other guys with no reason....dont want to mess relationship problems with tapering but yeah, it's a mess. To be onest sometimes I wish i can be single. Do you feel the same?

Hugs!

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Yes Marta- tons of people feel how you do! You are not alone. It will pass. I have a question also for whoever has gone thtough this. Is it possible to fall in love on ssri and then eventually lose feelings? I'm confused as to how I fell in love on them and lost feelings on them? Thanks x

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I am not interested in any relationships right now. They are all so tiring and I am not "me" in them.

 

I am currently with someone but am less and less interested in being together. Even sleeping together is a no for me right now, its so much easier alone! Every touch HURTS, if I just want to spew if I open my mouth, so kissing and talking are a no go, I dont really have a sex drive and hurt for days after any activity together (even shopping). More and more I want to be alone.

 

In saying this I was confident alone and enjoyed being alone before this relationship. Maybe it has run its course. I feel more supported alone.

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I feel so relieved for finding this thread.

 

I have a similar issue, the only difference is that I've lost my feelings in a platonic relationship instead of a romantic one. There was this wonderful guy who used to be like a brother to me. I basically spent the past 6 months of my life almost exclusively spending my time with him. It was wonderful, he was the first person who I ever loved and I could feel the love when I was talking to him, when I was thinking of him, etc. I loved him immensely, but the reason why we were not in a relationship was because it was basically more confortable and pleasant for us to consider ourselves "siblings", rather than partners. He was really like my big bro, always there to help me when I was feeling depressed and make me smile.

But everything happened so sudden, and one day I woke up with no feelings for him. He was still willing to spend his time with me, talk to me, support me. He used to say how much he loved me and that only made me feel more and more guilty because I lost my feelings for him. It's been 3 months now and my feelings for him haven't returned. I am trying not to ignore or upset him but it's so difficult. Any interaction with his feels PAINFUL, because I am constantly depressed for the fact that I don't love him anymore. Lately he is starting to lose his patience, but I don't want to let him go. I want the good old days back. I want my feelings and interest for him back and I don't know what to do. I find myself crying to sleep every night because of this.

I was thinking that maybe it could be caused by the medication from my past? I took Xanax for like 3 years, mainly because of anxiety, but I never knew it had these symptoms. I' ve never been emotionally blunted until now.

Can taking Xanax for a long time cause loss of feelings? If so, what can I do tp regain my feelings back? I have to mention that I also lost my appetite, my interest in people, hobbies and life in general.

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Wow. Hell is a tough place to HAIL from! What meds are you on now ?

 

 

That would be helpful in determining what's causing your dead emotions for your friend and why you're not interested in life.

 

I was like that on Lexapro and still suffer from it somewhat on Zoloft.

 

I'm tapering now and it's getting better.

 

We are here to listen Tioya. Tell me more.

 

Steve

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