☼ ChessieCat: so I'm not the only one (Pristiq / desvenlafaxine)

[Junglechicken]

Hang in there CC.

 

Am really impressed with the work you're doing BTW and your website.

[bromor]

I totally understand about the heightened senses ~ mine is smell & the building I work,in particular, the first floor & elevator have a terrible smell to me! I asked another lady as we were riding the elevator & she "didn't smell a thing". Ugh!

[ChessieCat]

Hi bromor,

 

Maybe it was her that smelled? Just joking.

 

UPDATE:  Decided yesterday to drop another 2.5 mg to 57.5 mg BUT have ended up having to go back up today.  It's been 3 hours since I took my 2nd day of 57.5 mg and I can feel the ear pressure and pain increasing with a bit of jaw tightening and a headache with pain/stinging sensation in the bridge of my nose that might be WD.  A nuisance, but it's giving me a good sign that it's not time to drop.  I am just so thankful that I know what is going on and what to do about it.

 

Wow, if anyone had told me about this 5 months ago I just wouldn't have believed them.  Also seems like I am going to have to keep going slowly.  I don't know why, because I have plenty of capsules on hand, but after being patient over the last couple of months I feel this sudden desire to get to 50 mg.  Time to accept and stick to doing it the best way for me.  At least I have learned my lesson.

[ChessieCat]

Hi JC,

 

I've just noticed your post.  I appreciate the encouragement.  Whoever would have thought that this would be such a long, slow process.  After my research, I'm now wondering how the human guinea pigs on the clinical trials end up after taking these drugs.

 

Thanks for your support and for the compliment about my website.

[ChessieCat]

Just adding this here for my own record.

 

"Chessie Cat, I know what you mean about drs. having you go back on the med.  That happened last time I tried to quit.  He told me at the time I would likely be on it for the rest of his life.  At the time, I believed and accepted this."

 

Ditto, except mine was a lovely, helpful psychologist (and I say that sincerely, she helped me immensely from the therapy side) who gave me the "like a diabetic needs insulin.  I still need to contact her to let her know differently.

 

It's only in the last couple of weeks that I have had a clearer mind that I am start to remember things and being able to fill in the gaps of my drug history.  I had actually go cold turkey off Citalopram for a few months (felt really great for about 2 weeks) before I went back and said I didn't feel like myself.  That was when I was put on to Pristiq.  Months later when I said I had lots of focus (I completed a book with 254 sudoku puzzles without cheating) but wasn't feeling any enjoyment in anything that my dose was increased from 50 mg to 100 mg.  Of course, after what I have learned from hear, the puzzle pieces are starting to fall into place!!!  And I'm very thankful for finding this forum before I got too far into a too quick taper.

[ChessieCat]

UPDATE:  I've made the decision that I'm going to make it 3 weeks between drops of 2.5 mg until I get to 50 mg.  That means I not due for another drop until 24th March.

 

I did notice that I was getting a bit of morning nausea for several days over the last weekend (no I am definitely NOT pregnant!!! so don't even go there thank you )

 

I just wish that Pristiq tablets could be cut evenly.

[Fresh]

LOL @ morning sickness ... now that WOULD be  a scientific anomaly .

 

Don't feel you need to decrease in 2 days if you're not ready to ... the goal is smart , not fast.

 

Congratulations on your moderatorship-ness , good to have you on board.

 

bw ,   

[ChessieCat]

I've learnt my lesson.  Slow and steady from now on.  I'm starting to feel better in myself now so I don't feel like I need to rush now.

 

Thanks   The Behind The Scenes is a bit daunting but I'll just take it slowly and I'll get there.  Like my taper, there is no rush

[Fresh]

That's exactly how I feel about it ... why not allow ourselves to feel good as we go down , rather than unbalance things

as soon as we begin stabilize  .

[SkyBlue]

I've learnt my lesson.  Slow and steady from now on.  I'm starting to feel better in myself now so I don't feel like I need to rush now.

 

Thanks   The Behind The Scenes is a bit daunting but I'll just take it slowly and I'll get there.  Like my taper, there is no rush

 

Let us know how it goes, Chessie. That's this Thursday? 

 

I agree about learning the lesson. I'm going 10% from here on out. 

[ChessieCat]

Hoping you'll be  like the cat who swallowed the canary real soon.

 

I think I might just be!!!

[ChessieCat]

Hi Skyblue, thanks for dropping in and taking an interest in my taper.

 

UPDATE:  Dropped dose on 24 March.  This morning, 26 March, prior to taking dose feeling a bit of ear pressure and a bit of tight jaw.  Plan is to drop 2.5 mg every 3 weeks until 50 mg and then hold for a while, possibly 2 to 3 months.

 

Edit:  Thinking I might make my drops every 4 weeks from now until 50 mg.  Why suffer if I don't need to?

[ChessieCat]

Definitely holding for 4 weeks (note to self ) from now on whilst dropping 2.5 mg.  Most of this morning's symptoms have cleared but do feel a bit of the pain across the bridge of my nose and a bit of a headache.

[ChessieCat]

UPDATE:  Feeling a bit fuzzy headed and tired.  Little bit stressy too.

[ten0275]

ChessieCat, hi.

 

Thank you for the insightful words on my thread, I appreciate it. And I very much agree that expansive possibility lies more within flexibility than within rigidity. Patience and flexibility are such hard-won allies in all of this, but they are of incalculable value.

 

I hope your current fuzziness gives way to clarity, tiredness gives way to calm energy, and that the "stressy" is soon much "lessy"

 

Keep up the great mod work.

 

Hang in there,

 

Dave

[SkyBlue]

Definitely holding for 4 weeks (note to self ) from now on whilst dropping 2.5 mg.  

 

I love that (note to self!). 

 

You bet, Chessie! Keep us posted. 

[ChessieCat]

Thanks Dave,

 

I appreciate your support.  I've decided to copy here what I posted on your topic as a reminder to myself:

 

"It can be so easy to give in to the struggle but I believe that accepting the struggle and learning to be patient and endure it in as calm a way as possible is what can make this journey through tapering and withdrawal more bearable.  Fighting against it only adds fuel to it and doesn't give our brain the chance to do what it is so desperately trying to do."

 

Hi SkyBlue,

 

We need all the reminders we can get.  I think that is why this support group is so helpful because during the tough times we sometimes can't remember or see for ourselves, but others can and it is very much needed on this journey.

 

UPDATE:  Suffered uncomfortable indigestion yesterday from eating hot cross buns and bread for lunch and dinner.  Probably slowed digestion from the latest drop of which I was feeling a bit stressy.  It seemed to take hours for my "meals" to go down.

 

Dog woke me at 4 am with vomiting so of course I woke up suddenly and jumped out of bed.  Let her out the back and then went back to bed.  Had to really focus on deep breathing to settle, was dozing off and something bit me on the ankle, possibly a mossie.  Of course I sat up in bed suddenly and again it took me a while to settle.  Haven't had any issues with settling previously so put it down to recent drop.

[nz11]

Hi cc congratulations on your new mod status.

 

Hey i have now discovered why you are such a speedy cat ..you are a professional typist. Wow that explains it !

 

nz11

NZ into the T20 semi final;  Aussi going home!!

[bromor]

Totally agree with slow and steady. I'm just fine to be a "turtle taperer"!! Glad to see you're doing well.

[ChessieCat]

Hi NZ, thanks for the congrats.  Unfortunately it coincided with my drop in dose which has been giving me previous symptoms plus a new one.  This has meant that I'm dabbling at the moment but I know that I'll be more with it soon and be able to read and respond.

 

Professional typist.  Yes, that's what I call myself now.  When I was young (yes, so much younger than today!) I used to say I was "just a typist".  It took me a while to realise that I'm not "just" an anything.  Mums often say I'm just a mum.  Shows a lack of self esteem and belief in a worthwhile and incredibly rewarding (unpaid) job.  My highest speed was 90 wpm, most recent test typing 75 wpm with 100% accuracy so that's why I have put the "professional" in front of typist.  I am now very proud of my ability and am not afraid to let people know!!!

 

Hi bromor, and thanks.  Yes I agree.  We definitely need to listen to our bodies and I think the really big key to tapering is understanding what is happening.  I've been suffering nausea and indigestion this drop and if I didn't understand about the serotonin in the gut, I would be in the dark and being in the dark creates anxiety which in turn leads to fight/flight which in turn ... vicious circle and reduced healing.

 

Went to my regular doctor's yesterday to collect a couple of prescriptions and left 3 of my cards for the 3 doctors.  I'm hoping that my own doctor will have checked out some of the information before I have a consultation with him.

 

Also went to my local chemist and mentioned withdrawal to them and they (3 of them) all knew what I was talking about.  I gave them a couple of cards and they are going to leave one on the fridge and refer people to SA.  The lady I was talking to is well aware that pharma are money makers.  She made the comment that if a remedy was found that helped depression that it would end up being bought by pharma.  My comment was yes, like the petrol companies and alternative fuels.

 

UPDATE:  Nausea is minimal, ears are little bit blocked and pressure is slightly painful.  Still a tinsy winsy bit stressy.  Just find I am a bit tense, ie not relaxed, when I'm doing things.  Get a little be irritated with minor things.  Having a couple of interrupted nights (dog) hasn't helped.  Slept well last night.  Knowing what it is enables me to accept it and just try and relax and know it will pass.

[brassmonkey]

A professional typist is an amazing thing to watch.  Monica hasn't done it professionally for years but people still stop to watch when she gets cranked up.

[ChessieCat]

Hi Brass,

 

Even though I have seen other people touch typing, I don't think I have ever really taken notice.  However, recently I was watching a movie and there was a lady touch typing and I thought Oh so that's what I look like when I type.  When I was studying IT at college in 2001 there were some school leavers who were amazed and kept saying How can you do that.  The funny thing is people used to ask me at the age of about 12 what do you want to do when you leave school and I always answered A typist like my sister (she is 10 years my senior).  I love typing and believe that it is my natural talent.  Monica can probably remember finding the middle of a page and back spacing for every second letter of a heading to centre it!!!  And of course carbon paper!

 

You can understand why I knew something was really wrong at the start of all of this withdrawal stuff when I wasn't able to type.  Even now I find I sometimes look at what I've typed and wonder how I got it.  At least I know what is causing it so I don't let it worry me.

[brassmonkey]

She was a paralegal for many years so became an absolute whizz with a Selectric.  Could take a page out, put it back change one word in the middle of the page and you couldn't even tell.  I think we still have a box of carbon paper somewhere.  We use it every once in a while for art projects.  How well I'm typing is one of the indicators I use also.  Some days I'm 40wpm by touch and others I can't get two letters in a row correct.  I never liked actual typewriters, although I used them for years, but give me a word processor and off I go.  For serious writing though I still prefer a pen and paper.  Typing isn't quite second nature enough to do while composing a plot or dialogue.  It works great for technical writing but not fiction.

[SkyBlue]

 

We need all the reminders we can get.  I think that is why this support group is so helpful because during the tough times we sometimes can't remember or see for ourselves, but others can and it is very much needed on this journey.

 

 

 

Definitely, Chessie! It's like holding someone's hand in the dark sometimes.    Hope you are doing a bit better.

[ChessieCat]

WARNING:  Trigger alert.

 

Unfortunately I had to get my dog euthanased this afternoon. Not sure how I'm feeling at the moment.  At least I'm able to cry and have been doing a lot of self talk and controlled breathing.

 

Dropped into the shops on the way home to pick up some easily digestible food because I know I still have to eat.

 

Thankfully I have lots of good memories that I can actually remember!!!  That is a bonus.

[Fresh]

Awww , that's so sad , I'm sorry for your loss CC..

 

What happened?

[ChessieCat]

Thanks Fresh.

[SkyBlue]

Oh, I am so sorry to hear that, Chessie. <<< hugs >>>

[AliG]

Sorry. CC.   That must have been hard .  I'm so sorry .  Hang on to those memories.  They will get you through this .

Hugs,

Ali

[apace41]

I'm so sorry, CC.

 

They are great to have and hard to lose.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[KarenB]

Oh CC, I'm really sad for you about your dog.  What a hard, hard loss that is. 

[ChessieCat]

Thanks everyone.  I appreciate the thoughts.  It helps (a bit ).

 

I agree apace, pets are great to have but so hard to lose.  My dog and cat have helped to keep me going after losing my job mid-2011.

 

I slept well last night and have been able to eat.  I've allowed myself to cry and have sobbed at times but been able to keep myself from having a complete melt down.  I realise that it would be sensible to hold off tapering for a while.  I'm about to start a second volunteer role so that will help to keep me busy.

 

Freckles was a rescue dog who was 4 months when we gave her a forever home.  I was hoping to do therapy pet visiting with her because she was so cute but she turned out to have psychological issues so we ended up being her therapy humans.  She was 13 years old and she developed what appeared to be minor health problems in the last few months.  When I took her to the vet yesterday about what looked like a haemorrhoid he said it was a growth.  She had recently become incontinent and also had a deteriorating knee joint so together we decided on the kindest option.  Thankfully in the last couple of weeks one of my daughters and I had been discussing her health and had decided what to do if things didn't improve so it wasn't a total shock.  I'm obviously very upset but part of me is also relieved.

 

I still have my Burmilla cat who is 17 years old to keep me company when it suits her.  She's an indoor cat and her health seems to be okay (at the moment).

[brassmonkey]

We had to do that seven years ago, I still miss him terribly.  I'm so sorry you had to do this.

 

((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))

[apace41]

Even in the midst of 20+ years of Zoloft use when very little moved me, I remember sobbing uncontrollably when I put down our first Yorkie. He was a great dog and that was as hard as anything I've ever done.

 

It gets better, CC.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[ChessieCat]

Yes I agree it is hard.

 

Thankfully I've managed to keep busy today getting washing done so have been outside in the beautiful sunshine.  Had a lie down and dozed before lunch.  I know my grieving isn't over but I feel like I've got over the initial shock.  Now I just feel sad.  I know I did the right thing so I don't feel any guilt.

 

I appreciate your support.  It's nice to know that people care.  Thank you.

[bubble]

I'm very sorry for your loss Chessie but glad you are finding ways to grief.

 

I hope you can take enough comfort in the knowledge that Freckles had a beautiful and long life at your side.

 

Hugs