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bubble

I hope this settles soon. Deep breathing should definitely help.

 

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nz11

Hoping these symptoms soon pass for you cc.

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ChessieCat

Hi bubble, NZ & SkyBlue,  Thanks for your thoughts.

 

SkyBlue, Thanks for the link.  Very thoughtful of you.  I think the someone may have been me!!!  ;)   I have it on my webpage:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)

 

UPDATE:  Well it's been 2 weeks on 47.5mg.  I definitely had some anxiety last weekend, which I think was made worse by a trip to see my daughter and grandson.  For 1 hour of the trip there I was supervising my other daughter who is a learner driver.  It was gentle rain so wasn't too bad but then on the drive home the first hour of the trip was in horrible conditions and was tiring and it took me a couple of days to recover.

 

I've noticed the last few days that I have been getting a bit "funny" in the ears.  It's very noticeable when I bend over. More of a nuisance than anything.  I thought at first that it was hayfever, especially since I have been outside except that I have the same thing today and I haven't been outside.  I'm keeping note of how it progresses throughout the day, because I am wondering if the capsules aren't seeing me through the 24 hours. :(  If I have to start splitting my dose it's a bit of a problem because I've had my capsules made up in 40s and 30s so I might have to halve them.  On a positive note, at least I don't have to calculate the dosage.

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SkyBlue

 

SkyBlue, Thanks for the link.  Very thoughtful of you.  I think the someone may have been me!!!  ;)   I have it on my webpage:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)

 

 

 

Hi Chessie, that is hilarious! Great minds think alike.

 

P.S. Do you think the weirdness in ears might be your Eustachian tubes? Esp because they help us with things like balance. I've heard this can be a big thing in WD.

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ChessieCat

"that is hilarious! Great minds think alike."

 

and we both saw the funny side of it!!!

 

"Do you think the weirdness in ears might be your Eustachian tubes? Esp because they help us with things like balance. I've heard this can be a big thing in WD"

 

Alto mentioned somewhere (on this fantastic site!) that withdrawal symptoms seems to target our weakness.  I've always had a problem with my ears, which I had checked as an adult, fairly certain it was pre-ADs, and the specialist said that they were okay and to never get grommets.

 

Right from the start of my tapering my ears have been affected, sometimes more than others.  I suppose it is good in a way because it gives me a hint as to whether I am stabilised.

 

UPDATE:  Been holding on 47.5mg for 2 weeks.  Decided last night to go to 45mg this morning, regardless of the ear discomfort.  I've put on a lot of weight so I'm hoping that as my dose lowers it might start shifting a bit.  I'll see how things go before deciding how long to hold on this drop.  It will definitely be 2 weeks though.

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ChessieCat

Over the last couple of days I seem to be experiencing very mild brain zaps.  They are barely there but have been happening throughout the day and often enough for me to take note of them.  It seems to be in the top front half of my head and seems to involve my eyes.  Different from brain fog and the ear pressure.  I have had extreme brain zaps in the past when I've forgotten to take my tablet.  One time I forgot 2 days in a row, and just moving my eyes would bring it on and I would have to lie down with my eyes still until the drug started working.

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SkyBlue

Have the zaps improved at all?

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ChessieCat

Yes, the "zaps" feeling disappeared after a couple of days.  Thank you for asking.  From 4 Oct I started taking my 40mg capsule whole but breaking open the 2 x 2.5mg capsules so I would get an immediate dose.

 

I feel like I've had a breakthrough this week.  I've gone from not caring about any of the things that need doing around the house and only doing the absolute minimum, to noticing that things needed doing but not wanting to do them, to wanting to do things but not being able to, and now I'm actually doing some of them.

 

I'm also starting to feel more creative and wanting to be creative, however because the house is in such a mess at the moment, there are things that need to be done before I can get back to doing the creative things that have been on hold.  But what is good about that is it gives me an incentive to tidy up and clean so I can do them.  The 2 projects I have in the wings at the moment are a town play mat for my grandson, which I started a couple of years ago, and a patchwork quilt which I want to make.  I've got all of the materials for both projects but have a lot of cutting out to do for them.

 

It's a relief and a really good feeling.

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reachingforthestars

Hi ChessieC!

 

You mentioned in your signature that you had serotonin toxicity in 2015. Did serotonin toxicity made you anhedonic? And more if it did it affect the way you love your closest people? Have you gotten the ability to feel love strongly back since then? I ask this because I believe i had some level of serotonin toxicity about an year ago and it made me anhedonic and I'm desperate if i cannot ever love my child again...

 

I hope you very fast healing!

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AliG

Hey Chessie.

 

I feel like I've had a breakthrough this week.  I've gone from not caring about any of the things that need doing around the house and only doing the absolute minimum, to noticing that things needed doing but not wanting to do them, to wanting to do things but not being able to, and now I'm actually doing some of them.

 

 I can so relate to this !   It's amazing how everything can change as one's perspective shifts and recalibrates in proportion to the withdrawal . Sounds like a lovely window. I hope it keeps up. :)

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ChessieCat

Hi RFTS, I must admit that I am having difficulties remembering how I was feeling during last year and the year before (2014 & 2015).  I can remember the physical symptoms but not the mental symptoms.  I don't think it was until I started reducing my dose that I realised that I was starting to feel different from how I had been.

 

Hi Ali, Yes!  I've actually managed to do some vacuuming this morning.  Just a bit here and there but it's a start after not having done so for (ugh) at least 4 months (my face is screwing up as I type that :blush:).  It's only me, and the cat, who have to put up with it.  My kitchen floor looks so much better, although I am fairly certain that I did sweep and wash it a couple of months ago.  And what is good is that once you do a bit and it makes you feel a bit better then it makes you want to do more.  I'm thinking that it's not just getting lower on my dose, but also with the warmer weather.  I don't think I could have moved during winter anyway because of how many clothes I had on!

 

UPDATE:

 

Dropped to 42.5mg this morning.  And guess what?!?  My ears are uncomfortable again this afternoon.  :(   Not too bad but I hope it doesn't get any worse.

 

Just checked my taper time line and it was 11 September that I started dropping from 50mg.  So that is 7.5mg after 1 month.  No.  Too much too quickly.  I've decided I will go and take another 1mg.  Just not worth it.  So my dose is 43.5mg.

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ChessieCat

Changed my mind.  After taking a 1mg capsule I decided that I should stay on 45mg for longer so took another 1mg plus split open another and took half so I can take my usual capsule combo tomorrow.  At least it's all been on day 1 so shouldn't cause an issue.  I did split all extra capsules.

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doggiemama

Oh how I wish a knew about a slow taper after stopping in less than 2 months and not knowing what was going on with me . Wow you one brave cat

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ChessieCat

"Wow you one brave cat"

 

Not brave, just very fortunate (and thankful) to have found SA and being given the information and support I needed about 2.5 weeks after dropping my dose by 1/2.

 

BTW the ear pressure/pain cleared not long after taking the additional 2.5mg.

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ChessieCat

UPDATE:  Just want to record this here for my personal record.  Had a busy 4 day weekend (14, 15, 16 & 17 Oct) doing things around the house (mowed, washed, vacuumed, changed loungeroom light).  Thought I had paced myself carefully.  However the last couple of days (18, 19 Oct) I have been very tired and have had to have a sleep both afternoons.

 

On Monday (17 Oct) I commenced Headspace meditation online (one year subscription gifted by work), and have done the first 3 x 10 minute lessons for the last 3 mornings.

 

Not sure what has knocked me about.  I suppose it doesn't matter what caused it, I just need to accept that this is how I am for the time being.  At least my house is a bit cleaner and tidier than it was.

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brassmonkey

Even with the careful pacing it can all catch up with you that way. I found that after a couple of days for recovery I was able to do it all again.  Pushing that way is a good way to retrain the mind and body who's in charge.  The mind and body will fight back but if we keep pushing we can move that rock a little further uphill over time.  Being able to do so is a sure sign of an improvement in WDnormal. Plus it's nice to have the house cleaned up.  I can't wait for the workmen to be done so we can reclaim those two rooms.  Right now we are confined to a chair and couch surrounded by packing boxes in the living room.

 

The meditation course sounds interesting, let us know how it goes.

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ChessieCat

Thanks Brass.  What you said it very encouraging.  After having naps on the last 2 days and still sleeping well at night, it will be interesting to see how I go today.  Actually, I've just remembered that I was a bit manic/excitable on Tuesday (18) morning which in the past has been linked to being tired.  Thankfully I did pace myself otherwise I probably would have been wiped out for 2 weeks instead of a couple of days!

 

"Right now we are confined to a chair and couch surrounded by packing boxes in the living room." - It will be worth it!!!

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ChessieCat

UPDATE:  Decided to drop to 42.5mg last Friday (21 Oct) even though I was still feeling tired.  Had a restful 3 days.  Today has been day 4 and I've been feeling fine.  I went on a picnic lunch with my BFF girlfriend and was able to sit outside in the sun (with sun cream on) and not sweat like would normally have done.  It makes a nice change.

 

My planned drop to 42.5mg was 6 Nov so I'm a bit ahead of schedule.  Next drop will be to 41mg so I can still open 1mg capsule.  I have marked it on my calendar that I will not drop before 4 Nov so I don't get confused.  The days are slipping away so quickly.  I think that means that I'm living life more than I was.

 

Today is the first day I've done anything really physical since my 4 day weekend of doing things around the house a week ago.  Just a nice gentle stroll around a nature park.  Had a really lovely time.

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peng

Happy to read this CC!  Best wishes for more good stuff.

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ChessieCat

Thanks Peng.  It was fantastic having the window of wanting to do things around the house.  It surprised me when I felt a bit wiped out but probably not too surprising.  After Brass's post, I made sure I looked after myself and didn't try and push myself or get too down about it, because I knew what it was.  However, having experienced it I am looking forward to another one, hopefully before what I got done needs doing from scratch again.

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manymoretodays

Hi Chessie,

 

that's the thing though on doing stuff around the house...........it always needs repeating.  Take dishes, laundry, cleaning the floors and toilets............  So mundane if you ask me...........so I try.........to just do it, cleaning and such when I am in a particular room or area...........rather than make a big production day out of it all.........and risking exhaustion.  Maybe that's not what you meant above.  The "starting from scratch" statement.    I just want to make changes though and time gets scarce for that........re-dos and all that in rooms, get rid of some stuff.

 

luckily winter's coming here and more dark and hard to see the cobwebs anymore........ :)

 

I had to take a break as well from the physical exercise thing, which btw, is often my best meditative time.  Hopefully back to it this week.  It sure helps with any body aches subsequent to decreases for me.

 

anyway........keep up the good work.

 

best,

 

mmt

 

oh, I like the lighter grey font color sometimes..........well, most times.........as it is easier on the eyes against the white white background.  I saw where you darkened it on some posts of mine........maybe it's the opposite for you??

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ChessieCat

Well I've been a member here for a year now.  And it has flown.  Thought I would do a graph of my taper.  It's amazing how it seems clearer when it's visual.  Well to me anyway.  I'm pleased to see that on the whole I've managed to be fairly consistent after my first minor hiccups.

 

I've also remembered recently that a few months after my dose was increased to 100mg, I had what I thought was tetanus/lock jaw.  Over about 2 weeks it got worse and to the point where if I opened my mouth too wide, I had to literally push my lower jaw back up.  It was more of an issue on the right side.  It did go by itself so I never went to the doctor about it.

 

This is my graph as at 14th July 2017:

 

1 minute ago, ChessieCat said:

 

Chessies Graph July 2017.jpg

 

 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
Updatedgraph

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peng

Nice one, CC.

Yes, graphs are always better than mere text for this sort of thing.  I am biased of course, I did hundreds of 'em at work.

 

(If that is an excel type graph, on the original, you can possibly give more space to the graph itself by eliminating the term "Column B" - right click the term in its text box and delete.)

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Happy2Heal

just stopping by to say  hi and to thank you again for your help with my 'stuffs' lol

 

I like your graph!

 

glad to see you had a good window. hope you have many more!

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scallywag

Great progress!  It feels good to see the picture, no?  And also to know that you made it. ;)

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ChessieCat

Thanks for stopping by "guys".  Thanks for the tip about getting rid of the label.  I've done that now!  Yep of course I'm hoping for more windows.  And pics are great!

 

I've been taking magnesium citrate for several weeks now.  Had previously taken chelate.  I'm fairly certain that the citrate is working much better and I don't seem to be getting stiff leg muscles like I had been.  Interestingly I tried fish oil and after a few days I developed a back weakness, below my waist.  It felt familiar and I recalled that I had it when I was taking fish oil and chelate late last year.  I had thought it was the magnesium causing it but now think it may have been the fish oil.  So I've stayed on the magnesium citrate and stopped the fish oil and I'm feeling okay again.  Would like to know it if is the fish oil, but not willing to test the theory, at least not at the moment.

 

Today I have been getting dizzy spells.  I thought it may have been that my blood pressure was too low after reducing my AD but staying on the same BP med dose.  However I have checked it twice during the afternoon and it's in normal range.  After reading the topic about dizziness, I recalled that I felt weird and unstable when I got on and off the train last Thursday.  I just couldn't seem to adjust to the motion of the train.  However, today is the first day I've noticed it again.  It's happened when I have got up from a chair, but also when walking, my eyes just don't seem to be able to focus.  I hope it doesn't last too long.

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grandmaD

I was doing a search on muscle aches and weakness and found your posts. 

 

I have been quite beside myself when these problems got really bad, especially in my legs, then started in my shoulder, knees and hips!  It is very frightening, to say the least and when it goes on for months on end, you begin to worry that is will never change!  It is encouraging to read all the other posts I found that it sounds to be very common. 

 

The last 2 days I feel like I might be improving, so hoping that is the case as this gives me some hope. 

 

At the same time I had incredible fatigue - more than the usual tiredness and lethargy and that too was frightening.  It was good to read you couldn't vacuum or do your floors as well!  I've also had a bit more energy the last few days, which is a relief and encouraging also.

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ChessieCat

Hi grandmaD, thanks for dropping by.

 

UPDATE:  Very pleased to report that I am have now been on 37.5mg for the last week and have not had any issues.  I did have 1 week on 38.5mg prior to that.  When I started on the 37.5mg I started including 1 x 5mg capsule which were compounded 1 year ago.  I have been told that the efficacy of them cannot be guaranteed after 6 months, but it would seem that they are still usable.

 

I continue to open 1 capsule (2.5mg or 1mg) when I take them so that I get a fairly quick top up of drug.

 

Mentally I have noticed a big improvement and in mid November I started learning Hebrew.  I have been extremely amazed and thankful about how much I have been able to learn as well as enjoying it.  I'm still struggling with doing physical things.

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baroquep

Great new ChessieCat, good to hear that your recent reduction is going well and that you are noticing a big improvement after eliminating 12.5 mg, gives the rest of us hope!!!  All the best, BarouqeP. 

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ChessieCat

Well so much for me saying slowly but surely.  I've tried to go down a bit too quickly and have developed mild ear pain and jaw ache on the 2nd day so have had to updose by 1mg.  I'm still amazed that this has been a recurrent sign when I drop too soon.

 

My reason for trying to go a bit quicker is my limited supply of 30mg capsules.  When I get my Pristiq compounded I have to get a minimum quantity of 100 made up of each dose.  On a couple of positive notes.  When I get my next batch compounded I'll try and allow for being able to combine different doses to make up extra 20mgs if needed.  It's also proved that I still need to go a at steady and slow pace with at least 3-4 week holds.

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scallywag

I've often thought that taper packs should come in doses like currency denominations, 1 mg, 2 mg, 5 mg, and 10 mg. Of course making sure one has enough of each is the trick.

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AliG

Chessie.  It always amazes me how difficult this all is even when you know what you are doing. 

 

You're doing great !  At least you have a few " sure signs "  where you know if you have gone too fast .

 

I hope it all goes well from hereon in.

 

Ali

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ChessieCat

Detailed Pristiq dosing history:

 

50mg mid 2012

100mg beg 2014


17 Oct 2015:                   50 mg         (head fog)

1&2 Nov:                       100 mg         (4 hrs "with it")

3 Nov:                             75 mg

30 Dec:                        67.5 mg

1 Jan 2016:                     70 mg         (ear pain)

21 Jan:                         67.5 mg

4 Feb:                              65 mg

19 Feb:                         62.5 mg

3 Mar:                              60 mg

12 Mar:                         57.5 mg

13 Mar:                            60 mg        (ear pain)

24 Mar:                         57.5 mg

21 Apr:                            55 mg

19 May:                        52.5 mg

16 Jun:                            50 mg         tablet

11 Sep:                        47.5 mg         all caps (5mg old)

25 Sep:                           45 mg         (40+2x2.5)

4 Oct:                              45 mg         (open 2x2.5)

21 Oct:                         42.5 mg         (open 2.5)

9 Nov:                             41 mg         (open 1)

25 Nov:                        38.5 mg         (open 2.5)

2 Dec:                          37.5 mg         (5mg old, open 2.5)

26 Dec:                           35 mg         (5mg old open)

6 Jan:                           32.5 mg         (2.5mg open)

7 Jan:                           33.5 mg         (2.5mg open)

15 Jan:                         32.5 mg         (2.5mg open)

20 Jan:                            31 mg         (1mg open)

 

post-5985-0-89181700-1485729649_thumb.jpg

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scallywag

Love the graph, Chessie!

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ChessieCat

Thanks Scally.

 

I'm actually very proud of, and thankful for, my taper and seeing it in a picture is extremely satisfying.  And I am really excited to be on less than 2/3 of my original dose.  After the first few months of itching to get tapering, the time has gone really quickly which really helps.  In fact there was one time I held for an extra week because the time flew past.  If you look carefully you can see about 4 tiny dips.  The last one is hardly visible.  These are when I tried to drop and then had to increase a tiny bit.

 

About a week ago I stopped taking my magnesium and noticed that my anxiety came back.  It was only just there but I noticed that I was just a little on edge.  I've restarted it and have noticed a difference and believe that it is helping.

 

Because I am working 3 days, I make a drop on the day after so I have a few days to settle before going back to work.  I've noticed a big difference in my enthusiasm for things and my ability to comprehend (this varies and some days it's harder than others).  It's not all rosy though.  I'm still having a hard time getting things done around the house.

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