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dalsaan

Why do we reach for quick fixes?

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dalsaan   
dalsaan

Why do we look for quick fixes?

 

From my perspective, there are no quick fixes for psychopharmacological injury in the sense of the one big thing that is going to solve withdrawal. The best that we can do is gather together all the little things that can contribute positively to the conditions of healing. Everyone’s collection of things is unique in its totality (with many individual things being shared with others).

 

Slowly weaning yourself off medication is one of the 100 little things if you are still on medication. It is also a collection of things aimed at fuelling your mind and body, resting your mind and body, gently alleviating symptoms and promoting functionality, self soothing, avoiding stressors, creating opportunities for joy, pushing comfort zones and challenging harmful thought patterns.

 

Looking for the one thing, particularly in the form of a pill is heading away from recovery rather than towards it because it is an act of desperation that invests in drama, generates anxiety, tension, hopelessness etc. This weighs very heavily on your disregulated nervous system. Too heavily, your system cant carry that burden and do the work of recovery at the same time.

 

Searching for a cure in something we swallow reproduces the mindset that made a contribution to us being here (alongside the rank ignorance of medical practitioners and exploitative greed of big pharma). It also takes energy and will away from the thoughtful, courageous and conservative experimentation and exploration that holds the potential for you to find your 100 little things.

 

We are not responsible for the situation we are in but we are responsible for getting ourselves out of it. No one can do it for us. If we are not ready, willing and able to be our own recovery leader then we have to invest all our energy in accepting our current state and accepting the fact that we have condemned ourselves to stay there.

 

I put this into the finding meaning section because I think going through withdrawal has the potential to find a stronger sense of our own capacity to take up much greater space as authors of our own life's.

 

I'd like to hear others views on this

 

All healing to you

 

Dalsaan

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Skyler   
Skyler

The most troublesome quick fixes seem to be those we take in or otherwise express orally.  Okay.. I tend to be cryptic, but alcohol, cigarettes, pills, and food, or loquaciousness and verbosity..  our desires for oral gratification have not gone unnoticed by Big Pharma. 

 

We all have primitive needs that were not met early on, and too often these can carry over into the present.  Thing is, do we want to blindly continue on this path (or support others who do the same), and derive comfort by putting things in or otherwise using our mouths, or do we choose to develop insight, and learn lasting strategies to self-soothe.

 

edited

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MollyN   
MollyN

This is a fantastic post Dalsaan, thanks so much for posting it. KarenB wrote something similar in my thread recently... great minds.. :)

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KarenB   
KarenB

I think going through withdrawal has the potential to find a stronger sense of our own capacity to take up much greater space as authors of our own life's.

 

 

Hammer, nail, head... :)

 

I feel stronger all the time and I also know myself more deeply since being in w/d.  Obviously it's a crap situation to be in, but what strands of gold can we find while we are here? 

 

I wrote the following back in Feb when I was experiencing adverse effects from Effexor, and in a horrible, long, deep depression.  It is these ideas, and the things you wrote at the top, which are helping me get through this without reaching for the quick-fix.  It's the building up of those 1000 things you mentioned (I think of them as feathers in my nest) which give us the stability to not need a quick-fix.   

 

I want everything.

I want the Moon and the Sun.

I want to drown in my tears.

I want to feel the wind and rain start, and still stay outside.

I want to blunder my way through to every soft part of my soul.

I want to get a thought that is beyond everything I know, and that I don’t try to think of.

I want a child to point out to me a hidden place, or a flower.

I want to soften my skin so the truth can soak in.

I want to be right here; as and where and who I am.

I want to tip myself out and see the strength in my own soft self.

I want to be hungry, tired, lost.

I want to be awake in the night.

I want to hear noises and voices that have no explanation.

I want to know things in my bones.

I want to become part of the beach, the paddock, the water-hole.

I do not want to ‘get on with it’ and lose my precious self,

And the things that might be.

 

 

Thanks so much for taking the time to put your thoughts here Dalsaan - I love your perspective. 

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Mort81   
Mort81

I think we reach for the quick fix because we are desperate for relief. Many of us dont know whats happening , its like being blindsided by a truck and we will do anything to stop it. Its once we come to a realization of whats going on that we settle in and buckle up our seatbelts  and prepare for the bumpy ride with the hope the somtime soon it will abate. It does however provide a path for a greater appreciation of life. When you have weathered the storm and are able to live again  than you truly have it all.

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oskcajga   
oskcajga

This was a very good post, Dalasaan.

 

There's so many different answers for "why do we seek a quick fix" - but in my opinion - the common theme in all of these explanations leads back to our upbringing and western society.

 

The situation we're in is a symptom of a very very dysfunctional society.

 

I think we're trained to be "more than human" in our lifestyles.  Instead of just being good enough however we may be - we're always taught to be BETTER, and BETTER, etc - whether it's to be a better parent, a better worker, a better husband/wife, a better X Y Z, blah blah blah.

 

The truth is:  we're all perfect just the way that we are, regardless of our afflictions and circumstance. 

 

I think we put way too much pressure on ourselves in western society, and as a result we tend to seek quick fixes to make ourselves BETTER - rather than accept how we actually ARE.

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manymoretodays   
manymoretodays

 

I think going through withdrawal has the potential to find a stronger sense of our own capacity to take up much greater space as authors of our own life's.

 

 

Hammer, nail, head... :)

 

I feel stronger all the time and I also know myself more deeply since being in w/d.  Obviously it's a crap situation to be in, but what strands of gold can we find while we are here? 

 

I wrote the following back in Feb when I was experiencing adverse effects from Effexor, and in a horrible, long, deep depression.  It is these ideas, and the things you wrote at the top, which are helping me get through this without reaching for the quick-fix.  It's the building up of those 1000 things you mentioned (I think of them as feathers in my nest) which give us the stability to not need a quick-fix.   

 

I want everything.

I want the Moon and the Sun.

I want to drown in my tears.

I want to feel the wind and rain start, and still stay outside.

I want to blunder my way through to every soft part of my soul.

I want to get a thought that is beyond everything I know, and that I don’t try to think of.

I want a child to point out to me a hidden place, or a flower.

I want to soften my skin so the truth can soak in.

I want to be right here; as and where and who I am.

I want to tip myself out and see the strength in my own soft self.

I want to be hungry, tired, lost.

I want to be awake in the night.

I want to hear noises and voices that have no explanation.

I want to know things in my bones.

I want to become part of the beach, the paddock, the water-hole.

I do not want to ‘get on with it’ and lose my precious self,

And the things that might be.

 

 

Thanks so much for taking the time to put your thoughts here Dalsaan - I love your perspective. 

 

 

 

Quick fixes.  There aren't any.  What a great thread though.  Definitely society.  I think historically.........but maybe it's a lie, but from what I hear told of my own family history....... is that........people were just accepted, when they were off their game so to speak.  And the other people around at the time just took up the slack a bit, gave care, and all that, or found someone who could.  Some country bumpkin doctor would come around too.......but they didn't have any curative medicines even then.  Worst case though was premature death........such as the grandpa I never met........ paternally.  Obviously.......he kept it all inside........the effects of his recent life horrors.......just kept on keeping on faking it until he couldn't stand it.  So......that part is bad.........it doesn't have to be that way.  Even if he wasn't so isolated......being a farmer..........it's doubtful he would have talked to anyone..........it just wasn't done.........that breaking of the facade that everything is alright.

 

Sooo......maybe my moral of the story is talk about it.........while it's eating you up inside.........surely someone will just listen.  Maybe you have to pay them to listen and then even still.........it's not a quick fix.  No, not by any means, but it might save the future generations from the same end.  I mean the survivors of suicide(the ones that live after losing someone to it, especially a parental figure to a mere child).......that would be my Dad, get pretty messed up by it.    And keep busy.......I can't believe I am saying that but keeping busy helps.  When you can.  Even if you don't get paid for it.  Better if you get paid for it though.  I think that's pride.  I digress.  Maybe not.  I mean busy can mean a lot of things.  Forms of expression going outward rather than inward?

 

There is a poetry section Karen B.  It's right here in the finding meaning.  This is a good place too.  What a beautiful writing.

 

I like Dalsaan's line too!

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KarenB   
KarenB

So true MMT, about the facades people have.  It's so damaging to have to hide who we are, and so 'splitting.' 

 

Talking and relationships are so healing, but they are so far from being a quick fix that people often leave them till last as options. 

 

Maybe we reach for quick fixes because our whole lives are so fast, too fast, and we have forgotten how to go slow.

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AliG   
AliG

Great post Dalsaan.

 

So true , life is so fast & furious these days. We have forgotten how to live with grace. Of course we are going to reach for those things ( quick fixes )  that we think will  " soothe the soul " quickly. We don't have time for anything else.  " Being busy" , is seen as a badge of honor. The more you can " multi- task " , the better person you are. Real high achievement  ! ? Maybe ?   I think, it is this " sad state of affairs" , that has contributed to where we now find ourselves. Drugs are the ultimate " quick fix". We all got conned. Take a pill. It will make you feel better quickly ,so you can get back to your " busyness". You won't miss a beat  !

 

However now that we know and can see the " insanity " of it all , if we can  just take a second or two , to stop and breathe , listen to ourselves  and step off the "merry go round ", we can see that instead of going for the " busyness " high , we should be reaching for something a whole lot deeper. Maybe , a rich ,vital and meaningful life . The key problem is not that we have problems but that we tend to put choices necessary for living a valued life on hold ,while we are distracted and entangled by all sorts of other things.

 

Participation in a rich and meaningful life , requires being open to and accommodating of all the pleasure ( and pain ) that is part & parcel of being human while at the same time ensuring that overall , your action choices  move you towards living a life of your choosing.

 

Living a vital engaging life is built around " freely chosen values " based on what you want your life to be about . That is the direction to head for : value choices.   What is important for you, in the moment. The choices we make , predict the outcome . We do indeed , ultimately  choose our destiny. 

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Bam   
Bam

We reached for a quick fix to our problems in the first place which was basically the start of all our suffering.

 

The culture these days is you want big muscles take a pill , cant sleep take a pill , need to loose weight take a pill etc etc

 

We want instant results plain and simple.

 

Unfortunately there are no quick fixes to withdrawal no magic pills that will take it all away its a horrendous long haul of will power and coping strategies and when your going through it if someone waves a magic pill that will make it all go away in front of you its not surprising we grab it with both hands.

 

Personally I have tried almost everything to get me through the hell and I will be honest nothing worked it may have calmed things down slightly but cured withdrawal not a chance in hell.

 

How do you get through it? its down to support and advice from those who have been there and not in a bottle

 

Make no bones about it withdrawal is a living nightmare but can it be beaten without pills etc YES

 

And I am not talking out of the top of my head either I have had 6 years of protracted withdrawal and certainly know what works

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compsports   
compsports

I will be brutally frank with this forum.   After finishing my taper of 4 psych meds in 2010, there was no doubt in my mind that I wold eventually recover and go back to leading a productive life.    

 

Unfortunately, horrific insomnia wouldn't abate.   But once I was diagnosed with sleep apnea, I thought being on pap therapy would be the answer which proved to be totally wrong even though there is no doubt in my mind that I have sleep apnea.

 

Anyway, the quality of my life had deteriorated so much that if I had found a med that would have kept me asleep on the machine, I would have taken it in a heartbeat.   Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your point of view, I didn't find one and am now looking at viable alternatives such as surgery.

 

But my point is based on my experience is that the issue of taking taking meds is not always a black and white situation of someone looking for a quick fix.  I agree that it occurs way too often in this society.    But sometimes, meds are the best option of some not too good choices.

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Rockingchaircat   
Rockingchaircat

Why our quest for the Quick Fix?

 

Because we know it exists.  Do you have a headache? Take some aspirin. Does it usually go away within the hour after taking it? There ya go.  Do you have hunger pangs? Eat something- it goes away right quick. Feeling a bit sleepy? Guzzle some coffee or Red Bull- it'll keep you jittery for a bit, toot suite.

 

For me the desire for a panacea ties in with the windows. For it is in the window that I feel most like me. When I can appreciate life and what it has to offer. For when the window inevitably closes- I lust for it again. And I want to be 'normal' again so very desperately- every time. 

 

It was on the antidepressants (Celexa for the last one), that I'd realized that I didn't know if I truly loved my wife or not. Now, getting off/going through W/D's, I know now that I do. But I cannot appreciate her quite so much during W/D. I feel now that I can and do appreciate her and my life, I cannot due to the W/D's symptoms. 

I suppose that's Irony eh? On the A/D's I can somewhat appreciate life, but I cannot because they blocked from feeling them. Off of them, I do learn to appreciate life, or at least I do when I'm capable of it. Which isn't for very long anymore I'm afraid.  I can feel life passing by. 

16+ years of not properly appreciating what little I had, and now it's a torment to watch more of my life slip by with my wanting to be there and enjoy life- and STILL not being able to.

So yes- we're desperate. We want a quick fix. We've all wanted a quicker fix.  Because we all feel that we've paid enough to get there.

 

Narcotic/Oxycodone- weaned off of in about 2-3 weeks.

Benzodiazepine/Ativan- Weaned off of in about 4 to 4.5 months.

Antidepressant/Celexa- Weaned off of...8 months now and counting...

 

What a Ghastly Joke Life has played upon us. Deep down I know there isn't a quick fix. Can't hurt by trying anyways.

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btdt   
btdt

Trust in doctors nothing else offered completely brain washed by media.  Complete lack of knowledge and any true form of informed consent as we are lied to. 

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mjk1970   
mjk1970

Beautiful sentiments, everyone--and poetry, Karen! :)

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MaryDavid   
MaryDavid

Hi everyone, i was reading an article last week about how the 'depressive' mind works and one of the things that i found interesting is that, we have or develop a certain way of looking at things, which is different to those who do not have a 'depressive' mind.  Basically saying, that it is the way we view things that causes us to become depressed.  

I also heard one counsellor say that if the exact same things happen to two different people, one sees their situation different (processess it differently) to another and one becomes depresses and one does not.

 

In the recovery process, could it be about changing the way we view things/situations/events by having an alternative realistic way of seeing things. :)

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btdt   
btdt

marketing is why we reach for the quick fix and we don't have time to be less than perfect and accomplishing .... brain washed by marketing and social strain placed by the 1% to keep us moving like live stock if we buy in that is... 

 

everybody's doing it 

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ShakeyJerr   
ShakeyJerr

I search for the quick fix for relief from the pain - physical and emotional. And I want to take pressure off of my wife and kids. I look for the quick fix because I am weak. I pray to God for strength, but sometimes His answer is that I must go through the pain. So my desire for pain relief and God's desire to grow me come into conflict. Sadly. I hear and feel the pain so acutely that it is drowning out God's words. I know I need to flip the wcript, but the pain is so big.

 

God pleae help me hear you over and through the pain.

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