☼ Junglechicken

[joy2730]

Good 

 

Joy 

[Flowers]

Phew! That is good news.

 

and breathe................

 

 

Love Flowers xxx

[apace41]

Good to hear, JC.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Frogie]

JC:

 

Your message came over my email.

 

I'm taking a break from the forum for a few days, but wanted to tell you your dad will be in my prayers. I'm glad he's doing well.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[manymoretodays]

Hi Jungle,

 

That's good news.  What's happening with your new house/home?  I was wondering on that as well.

[Junglechicken]

Mother rang again this evening, bizarrely detached from it all. 

 

I passed her over to hubby when she launched into wanting a "cash injection" from me and my brother.

 

Again she said "Dad is on the way out, he's going to die soon, this will be his last Christmas".

 

She was also extremely callous, saying in so many words, that she will be relieved when he goes because then she'll get her life back.

 

My gut has been unhappy since Friday when she rang to say he had been admitted to hospital.  He will be discharged tomorrow apparently, because I spoke to the hospital ward directly.

[Junglechicken]

Just offloading BTW.

 

Both my mother and MIL are extremely callous people.

[joy2730]

Having an insensitive mother causes a lot of distress.  Mine is so unloving.  My father died when I was 4 - I think I lost my best parent then.

 

You have enough to think about without more trouble. 

 

Oh dear - wouldnt we all like a cash injection - Christmas brings out the worst in people. 

 

Joy

 

 

[Junglechicken]

Thank you Joy,

 

My aunt rang about an hour ago (she and my mother are twin sisters).  She is very different to my mother, and has said my mother is very difficult to deal with.

 

I have been experiencing random pains around my body, especially under my rib cage.

 

My gut always gets hit the worst though with stress.

 

My father is "out of it" now, and each hospital visit (there have been 3 this year) has coincided with even more deterioration, as that's the nature of Parkinson's.

 

Neither my aunt (who trained as a nurse), nor my mother think he has much longer now.

 

My hubby forced my mother to step up and take responsibility for the finances.  Her drinking has screwed up her ability to do anything useful in looking after my father, and so long as she can continue to have "her routine", she just blindly carries on as she always has done, and is not fit to look after my dying father.

 

It has been suggested to her, that my father goes into a hospice for his final days.

[Flowers]

So sorry JC.  Do you sometimes feel like you are the 'parent' and she is ' the child'  depending on you to sort out her responsibilities?  You have so much on your plate at the moment.

 

Keep strong and remember to look after yourself too.

 

Love from Flowers xxx

 

 

[Junglechicken]

17 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi Jungle,

 

That's good news.  What's happening with your new house/home?  I was wondering on that as well.

 

Hi MMT,

Thank you for your message.

Its good news to a point, but Dad is dying, and Mum can't look after him anymore as he needs full-time specialist care.

I will be following up with our solicitor re: the house purchase today.

I have a couple of interviews again so......

TC,

JC xx

 

[Junglechicken]

10 hours ago, Flowers said:

So sorry JC.  Do you sometimes feel like you are the 'parent' and she is ' the child'  depending on you to sort out her responsibilities?  You have so much on your plate at the moment.

 

Keep strong and remember to look after yourself too.

 

Love from Flowers xxx

 

 

 

Thank you Flowers,

 

Hubby and I are in the same boat in regards to our mothers (and my father). 

 

We have been the parents to our parents as soon as they could off-load all of their responsibilities.

 

Am trying to keep strong, although I lost it last night after going to bed 

 

Lots of love JC xxx

[Flowers]

25 minutes ago, Junglechicken said:

 

Thank you Flowers,

 

Hubby and I are in the same boat in regards to our mothers (and my father). 

 

We have been the parents to our parents as soon as they could off-load all of their responsibilities.

 

Am trying to keep strong, although I lost it last night after going to bed 

 

Lots of love JC xxx

They are lucky to have children like you. 

 

Thinking of you.

 

Flowers xxx

 

 

[Junglechicken]

On 9 December 2017 at 4:20 PM, Frogie said:

JC:

 

Your message came over my email.

 

I'm taking a break from the forum for a few days, but wanted to tell you your dad will be in my prayers. I'm glad he's doing well.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

Thank you so much Frogie, he is doing well in as much as he is still alive.  He should be in a hospice.

 

Its good to take a break sometimes from the SA forum.

 

The laptop has completely crashed, so I'm stuck with our iPad which is getting slower and slower.

 

Hope you are ok.

 

TC,

JC xxx

[Junglechicken]

Very frustrated, laptop has crashed and I can't seem to resuscitate it.

 

Did a botched phone interview this morning 

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LAPTOP NOW FIXED!  Didn't use my brain.

[manymoretodays]

Yay on laptop.  And good.......I'm glad you are going forward with the possible home purchase.  So sorry about your Dad(and Mum). 

 

I've been fortunate with active siblings in my parent(s) care.  My dear Dad passed in a hospice setting(freestanding facility) on December 23, 2010.   It was difficult......very difficult, as I had one sibling who disagreed with NOT going full medical care, at that point........after I had helped my Mum make decisions.  He had dementia and a movement disorder in his neck(maybe parkinsons.......it was never conclusive, the testing).....and Mum had just barely arranged for getting him into a "home" when he worsened.   I don't think it was Alzheimers, as it didn't progress as quickly as that sometimes does, but I don't know.  Neurological deterioration. Tough times, for you, and especially at this time of year.

 

May THIS job be the perfect one then, and all your worries melt like snow.  Hope you find some Joy today.

 

Best Junglechicken.........lot's of self care, or as much as you can squeeze in.........if that's keeping busy, then that is poifect!

 

mmt

Edited December 11, 2017 by manymoretodays
grammar

[Junglechicken]

3 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

Yay on laptop.  And good.......I'm glad you are going forward with the possible home purchase.  So sorry about your Dad(and Mum). 

 

I've been fortunate with active siblings in my parent(s) care.  My dear Dad passed in a hospice setting(freestanding facility) on December 23, 2010.   It was difficult......very difficult, as I had one sibling who disagreed with NOT going full medical care, at that point........after I had helped my Mum make decisions.  He had dementia and a movement disorder in his neck(maybe parkinsons.......it was never conclusive, the testing).....and Mum had just barely arranged for getting him into a "home" when he worsened.   I don't think it was Alzheimers, as it didn't progress as quickly as that sometimes does, but I don't know.  Neurological deterioration. Tough times, for you, and especially at this time of year.

 

May THIS job be the perfect one then, and all your worries melt like snow.  Hope you find some Joy today.

 

Best Junglechicken.........lot's of self care, or as much as you can squeeze in.........if that's keeping busy, then that is poifect!

 

mmt

 

Thank you MMT for your support, it means a lot. 

 

So sorry you lost your Dad not so long ago 

 

I'm struggling with it all TBH, and the interviews keep coming (which would be great if I could "land that job").

 

Listening to a hypnotherapy CD daily now to try and "brainwash myself for the better", lol.

 

Best,

JC xx

[Scorpio]

Hi jc

have just seen the news about your dad, I’m so sorry and hope he is comfortable. 

[Junglechicken]

10 minutes ago, Scorpio said:

Hi jc

have just seen the news about your dad, I’m so sorry and hope he is comfortable. 

 

Thank you Scorpio, I hope he is comfortable too.

 

He is still in hospital having had a CT scan for his head, and he has been moved to another ward.

 

I hope my mother will take some responsibility now that she knows we're not going to do everything for her.

 

TC,

JC xx

[Flowers]

Hi JC

 

I guess the hospital have to check him out to make sure all is OK and if he needs treatment or is well enough to go home. 

 

I hope your mum steps up to the mark and takes some pressure off you. 

 

Tough times for you - you are in my thoughts.

 

Hugs from Flowers xxx

 

 

[manymoretodays]

It's S'okay on my Dad......I can't believe it's been 7 whole years though.  I was more worried about Mum fading after she had no one left to take care of.  She didn't........and just amazes me.   And the spirit of Arnie(my Dad) lives on.  

 

Maybe your Aunt can pitch in a bit........and good on you.........bbbbabahboundaries are hard but worth it for your sanity.  So good on you Jungle.

 

 

[AliG]

Hi JC. I'm sorry to hear about your father. Don't forget to take very good care of yourself also, through this most stressful time. My thoughts are with you.

[Junglechicken]

Thank you Ali and MMT (and everyone else),

 

Stress is my BIG enemy at the moment.  

 

Saw my therapist this morning, who is trying to get me to walk away from the whole situation, as it completely affects my health - I get sick.

 

Have ANOTHER interview first thing tomorrow.

 

Want to hibernate.

 

JC xx

[manymoretodays]

Knock them off their feet in the interview, and then..........hibernate Junglechicken.   Just a bit anyway.  Tis the season.  Be like a bear or something.......  Turn off your phone even.

[Junglechicken]

3 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

Knock them off their feet in the interview, and then..........hibernate Junglechicken.   Just a bit anyway.  Tis the season.  Be like a bear or something.......  Turn off your phone even.

 

Thanks MMT, I'll try!

 

I have to, as I just don't have the energy to spare for all these interviews.

 

My gut has had enough, and its telling me every day.

[manymoretodays]

May your gut guide you then........ 

I still find it so very interestingly, odd, weird.........the neuroreceptor thing in the gut, if that's the right way to put that.  I don't feel much of the cortisol stuff anymore.........the intensity that that was.......I do get weird "butterfly stomach" though now when fearful/anxious.........I guess it's a good cue to do some relax or meditation or breathing, etc. and sometimes just pause for a few.

 

I liked your hypnotherapy CD comment......"brainwash for the better"...........excellent!

[Junglechicken]

44 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

May your gut guide you then........ 

I still find it so very interestingly, odd, weird.........the neuroreceptor thing in the gut, if that's the right way to put that.  I don't feel much of the cortisol stuff anymore.........the intensity that that was.......I do get weird "butterfly stomach" though now when fearful/anxious.........I guess it's a good cue to do some relax or meditation or breathing, etc. and sometimes just pause for a few.

 

I liked your hypnotherapy CD comment......"brainwash for the better"...........excellent!

 

I'm actually listening to the CD now!!

 

Its a battle in my mind between the effect my mother's phone calls have vs trying to build my shattered self-esteem.

 

I'm going to buy a couple of books on the mind-gut connection and work at giving my poor gut a break.

 

[Junglechicken]

Gut continues to be unhappy - it needs a spa break I think, poor thing.

 

Had interview this morning, and had to get up 2 hrs earlier than normal - was not happy at all 

 

I take all the right supplements, so its stress that's upsetting it.

 

 

[Junglechicken]

Really "under the gun" at the moment.

 

My gut was extremely sore (IBS) last night and yesterday evening - just horrible.

 

Have pressure from my brother to go and help my mother (who doesn't like me) with the finances.  He lives in Canada, hubby flat out at work.

 

Apparently she hasn't eaten for 2 days and hasn't got a clue what's going on / what she has to do even though she has been told 100 times (and some). 

 

Sorry, but if the bloody woman just stopped drinking and kept a clear head, she would be able to handle this all no problem.  

 

Am also trying to get the financing sorted for our property purchase in 2 days flat.  Pressure from the solicitor to exchange contracts before Christmas - 3 days notice?!!!

 

Lets just say I'm feeling "overwhelmed".

 

 

[Scorpio]

Hi JC

 

so sorry you are going through this horrible time. Maybe if your brother is so concerned he should get his backside on a plane and come and sort his mother’s many problems out. I’m not surprised your ibs is playing up you are far too stressed.  Fingers crossed for the finance on your new home. 

Hugs

scorpio

[Junglechicken]

1 hour ago, Scorpio said:

Hi JC

 

so sorry you are going through this horrible time. Maybe if your brother is so concerned he should get his backside on a plane and come and sort his mother’s many problems out. I’m not surprised your ibs is playing up you are far too stressed.  Fingers crossed for the finance on your new home. 

Hugs

scorpio

 

Thanks Scorpio,

 

I am calmer now 

 

My brother is flying over end Jan/early Feb, but all of this was left up to me to sort out single handedly for years.

 

The financing is up and running now, bank meeting set up for sat, then 10 days for paperwork to go through.

 

Yes, I HAVE been too stressed and YES it has caused the IBS.  Having had thorough tests done, there is nothing "sinister" going on.

 

Hugs,

JC 

[Scorpio]

Hi JC

well one less thing to worry about knowing the ibs isn’t anything nasty just not very pleasant to have to endure. Hopefully once your house move is all sorted and your brother takes on some of the responsibility of your parents it will ease for you. 

[Junglechicken]

15 hours ago, Scorpio said:

Hi JC

well one less thing to worry about knowing the ibs isn’t anything nasty just not very pleasant to have to endure. Hopefully once your house move is all sorted and your brother takes on some of the responsibility of your parents it will ease for you. 

 

Scorpio,

 

I alerted my parent's local surgery as to what's happened, and also spoke to a Health Care Worker based there and given her all the details.  They weren't aware that Dad had been admitted to hospital.

 

Hopefully, some progress can be made as to their care by the local authorities; as the Health Care Worker acknowledged that my mother is not proactive on getting anything done.  Its a risk to Dad's care which is complex.

 

Have also told my brother, who should back off now.

 

 

 

 

[Junglechicken]

For some reason that hygienist visit this morning has made me anxious?

 

They're not very good with the water, as it sprays all over my face (they give you glasses to wear), but they don't do a lot.

 

Or maybe, its just everything going on 

 

 

[Junglechicken]

So, have had 3 interviews this week and have one next week!

 

Nuts 

[Frogie]

1 hour ago, Junglechicken said:

So, have had 3 interviews this week and have one next week!

 

Nuts 

Good luck!

 

How's the family going?

 

I hope you are doing well.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx