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PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP: #TweetingMyRecovery 140 Characters is all I got

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Happy2Heal   
Happy2Heal
50 minutes ago, PatriciaVP said:

Very tired today, but at least I can rest. No adrenaline rushes or heart palpitations as I start to relax. Still with the crazy incontinence same time each morning.

 

 

glad you can rest without adrenaline rushes and such.

yeh the incontinence is a weird symptom. thank goodness for what I call "old lady pee pads" although you are far from an old lady

 

it will get better.

 

 

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PatriciaVP   
PatriciaVP

Turns out I spoke too soon. This afternoon as I was dozing adrenaline rushes continued to plague me. I couldn't tell if it was happening just as I was falling to sleep or as I was waking up.

 

Either way, it looks like it will be quite some time before I resume my taper. I know that the rushes are definitely withdrawal and not side effects.

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Happy2Heal   
Happy2Heal

damn.

sorry!
(((hugs)))

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Flowers   
Flowers
10 hours ago, PatriciaVP said:

Turns out I spoke too soon. This afternoon as I was dozing adrenaline rushes continued to plague me. I couldn't tell if it was happening just as I was falling to sleep or as I was waking up.

 

Either way, it looks like it will be quite some time before I resume my taper. I know that the rushes are definitely withdrawal and not side effects.

Hi PatriciaVP

 

I am struggling with similar symptoms too so can sympathise. The bladder problems I get some mornings but never again during the day. Has got to be related to WD hasn't it?

Today I am feeling dopey but these feelings of agitation won't let me rest and if I do manage to nod off I awake with a start!

 

Holding and waiting is all we can do.

 

Flowers xxx

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PatriciaVP   
PatriciaVP

Today I decided to stay home and rest. Yesterday I was quite busy (Even after having a meltdown in the morning because I couldn't figure out why something wasn't working). Tomorrow, I plan to spend the day out with my family. To avoid overdoing it, I figured I'd do as little as possible today.

 

Problem is, every time I start to relax, I have a panic attack. Not the adrenaline surges and shock sensations I was experiencing a few days ago. This is distinctly different. It's so interesting the way these symptoms morph and change. I an taking this as a sign of healing and trying to remain hopeful.

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PatriciaVP   
PatriciaVP

I feel awful today. Anxiety and akathesia are ruling me. I'm still on my period and feel very sick to my stomach. I have to go see my med provider in an hour, and pretend to be OK so he doesn't try to foist more poisons on me. Woke up this morning just wanting this all to end so badly.

 

I was sick all weekend. Even threw up Sat morning. I think it was just really intense cramps mixed with a green smoothie = bad idea.

Was actually OK on Thurs. Woke with only mild anxiety and spent the whole day out with family. Went on the Mt Washington cruise. Things went downhill quickly after that.

 

Just want a break. Not sure how many more days like this I can take.

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ShakeyJerr   
ShakeyJerr
1 hour ago, PatriciaVP said:

Just want a break. Not sure how many more days like this I can take.

 

Hang in there, PvP!

 

You're in a wave. But hang on to the good memory of that glimpse through the window you had on Thursday.

 

I have learned through my research that one of our biggest foes is our own limbic system - where memories are processed and our body reacts to cortisol and adrenaline. The only way to heal the limbic system is to rewire it by bringing up good memories and doing things to form new good experiences. This article might help you. It definitely helped me!

https://www.thebestbrainpossible.com/how-to-help-depression-by-healing-your-limbic-system/

 

SJ

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PatriciaVP   
PatriciaVP

Thanks SJ. It only makes sense. Power of positive thinking and all. I do try to practice much of what was in the article. Some days are easier than others.

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PatriciaVP   
PatriciaVP

Woke up this morning with knots in my stomach, feeling agitated and anxious. What gets me is that I used to feel this way often when I was on all the drugs. Strange thing was that the Adderall would often quell the sensation. So that brings me back to the question of how much of this is side effects.

 

What I'm feeling right now is manageable so I think I might try a tiny drop (.25 mg)

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PatriciaVP   
PatriciaVP

Much better this morning. Very little anxiety. Felt pretty good at the gym. Was very tired after. Slept through lunch. Ended up sleeping all afternoon, but was very groggy and a little depressed upon waking. Thankful that the anxiety and agitation have subsided for now.

 

After talking to my husband, I've decided to hold off on tapering. The next few weekends are quite busy, and it wouldn't hurt to let things settle out a bit more.

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Happy2Heal   
Happy2Heal
13 hours ago, PatriciaVP said:

Much better this morning. Very little anxiety. Felt pretty good at the gym. Was very tired after. Slept through lunch. Ended up sleeping all afternoon, but was very groggy and a little depressed upon waking. Thankful that the anxiety and agitation have subsided for now.

 

After talking to my husband, I've decided to hold off on tapering. The next few weekends are quite busy, and it wouldn't hurt to let things settle out a bit more.

 

 

Glad the anxiety and agitation are gone- hopefully for a long time!

 happy that you got some sleep too.

 

I think your plan is a good one, to hold a bit for things to settle more, esp with busy times ahead.

 

keeping you in my thoughts, you are an incredible strong woman, who could really use a break!!

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PatriciaVP   
PatriciaVP

Woke this morning with far less anxiety than usual. Almost none really, and my stomach felt fine. Was able to organize my brain well enough to make a quiche in spite of spending most of the day out yesterday and getting back late last night. Have not experienced any incontinence this morning which hasn't happened in a long time.

 

Hopefully this is the beginning of a window that will allow me to taper in a few weeks.

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Frogie   
Frogie

PatriciaVP:

 

I'm so happy that you are feeling better.

 

I hope it lasts a long time for you. :)

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

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PatriciaVP   
PatriciaVP

Thanks, Frogie.

 

Felt decent again this morning. Little to no anxiety. Stomach fine. No incontinence. Had eggs for breakfast because on Friday I had gotten nauseous at the gym during a fairly intense training and thought the extra protein might help me avoid that. Instead of nauseous, I was really dizzy this whole time.

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Frogie   
Frogie
27 minutes ago, PatriciaVP said:

Thanks, Frogie.

 

Felt decent again this morning. Little to no anxiety. Stomach fine. No incontinence. Had eggs for breakfast because on Friday I had gotten nauseous at the gym during a fairly intense training and thought the extra protein might help me avoid that. Instead of nauseous, I was really dizzy this whole time.

Sorry you got nauseous at the gym. And dizzy today.

 

I'm nauseous this morning, but mine is nerves. I always do when I go to the dentist.

 

Hope we both get over it soon. :)

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

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PatriciaVP   
PatriciaVP

I was so much better last week. Finally seeing enough light to start looking forward to another drop, but that seems to be ending now. Woke up yesterday sick to my stomach and exhausted. Spent the whole day on the couch. This morning I've been very anxious with racing thoughts, akathesia and agitation. Can't get myself to do much of anything.

 

One thing I've found helpful at times like this is to imagine what I would tell someone else experiencing the same thing. These distressing symptoms are a sign of the brain further healing itself. The best thing to do is to let it be; calmly observing the symptoms without getting upset or trying to control them in any way. For some reason, thinking of offering someone else this advice or something like it makes me feel more calm.

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Flowers   
Flowers

So sorry you are feeling poorly again.

 

Seems like you may need to wait a while before doing another drop?  Are you usually able to do intense training at the gym with no symptoms? I  have to be careful that I don't overdo exercise or symptoms flare up!

 

I like your idea of what you would tell someone else in WD with troublesome symptoms. As long as we feel there is healing going on we can bear it.

 

Much love

 

Flowers xxx

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Frogie   
Frogie

Just wanted to stop by and say hi.

 

I hope your nausea goes away soon.

 

You have the right idea, just take it easy and you will feel better. :)

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

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PatriciaVP   
PatriciaVP

This month marks two years since I started withdrawing from the meds. Down from 4 to 1 and at a fraction of the dose. Suppose I should be glad I'm as functional as I am, but I just feel stuck. Not able to do much. That's not entirely true. It's actually been my most active summer in years. Gone somewhere almost every weekend. It's just still hard to figure out what to do with myself when I'm alone. Still cognitively impaired.

 

Felt much better two weeks ago. Seemed like major breakthroughs. Slowly headed back downhill. Though it was mostly due to my period. Period ended, continued to get worse. Yesterday plagued with adrenaline spikes. Couldn't relax but couldn't be active either. Uncontrollable crying. Today much better, but exhausted. Slept most of the time.

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PatriciaVP   
PatriciaVP

Woke this morning feeling "normal". What an odd sensation. Calm, clear headed, no stomach problems. Was actually a little hungry. Haven't been hungry before 3 PM in months. Lasted about 1.5 hrs then the panic, stomach knots, cog fog, etc came rushing back. My new normal. Really have no idea how bad you feel until you don't.

 

Took the last of my liquid Lexapro last night. Only had about 3 mg left. Wondered at first how much that had to do with it. Thinking that most of my more recent symptoms were side effects and not withdrawal. Guess not.

 

The night before I had cut from 6.5 mg to 6.25 even though I wasn't feeling great. I was just so sick of holding and I was hoping a tiny cut might give a little lift. I should be getting my refill in the mail today and will remain at 6.25.

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