• Announcements

PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP: #TweetingMyRecovery 140 Characters is all I got

343 posts in this topic

I'm exhausted but I can't rest. I'm restless, but I can't move. My brain just won't shut up. Going over and over the most useless things. I'm agitated, anxious, sick to my stomach. For the past two weeks, I've just been getting worse and worse, and now I can't remember feeling this bad.

I read somewhere that the worst waves often precede the greatest leaps forward. All this pain is simply a harbinger of healing. More healing than I have yet to experience. I am choosing to believe this is so. I am determined to let it run it's course as the anticipation of new birth strengths me through it.

Hi PatriciaVP:

 

I'm sorry you feel so lousy.

 

But if you feel this bad, you will leap so far forward that you will forget all of this.

 

Feel better soon. :)

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

Share this post


Link to post

I'm exhausted but I can't rest. I'm restless, but I can't move. My brain just won't shut up. Going over and over the most useless things. I'm agitated, anxious, sick to my stomach. For the past two weeks, I've just been getting worse and worse, and now I can't remember feeling this bad.

 

I read somewhere that the worst waves often precede the greatest leaps forward. All this pain is simply a harbinger of healing. More healing than I have yet to experience. I am choosing to believe this is so. I am determined to let it run it's course as the anticipation of new birth strengths me through it.

 

 

Yes, you are probably going to experience a good window soon!  :) and I bet it will be a really great one!!

 

also remember that you were without your lexapro for several days, and it's only been about  10 days since you were able to get back on it. :/

I shake my head every time I think about how careless your NP is. He needs to get a taste of what WD is like, then maybe he would be more responsible and responsive.

 

 

hang in there, kiddo, you're healing, all the WD symptoms are proof of that :P

Share this post


Link to post

Thank you Frogie and Catnapt. Yes, I'm sure a window is right around the corner. It just can't get here fast enough.

Share this post


Link to post

Past week and a half were torture. Relentless withdrawal symptoms had me wishing for an accident or some kind of deadly disease to come and end the suffering. I was drowning in anxiety, akathesia and ruminating and intrusive thoughts. My dog was sick early in the week waking me up every hour and a half or so. That might have been what set it off. Wondering what to do if it happens again.

 

Finally started to pass yesterday leaving me feeling exhausted, fatigued and listless, but I'll take it. So much better than the turmoil I've been in.

Share this post


Link to post

((((Hugs))))

 

so very sorry that things have been rough for you.

you are due for a good window, I hope you get a good LONG one!!

Share this post


Link to post

PatriciaVP:

 

I hope you are starting to feel better.

 

You deserve it. :)

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

Share this post


Link to post

Had a pretty good weekend. Went clothes shopping with my daughter, out to the movies and took her back to school. Much busier than usual. This morning I woke up really sick to my stomach and exhausted. I haven't been able to rest at all though. Agitation and akathesia have ruled the day so far. Tried a little lavender oil and that did seem to ease the symptoms a little. My dog has been getting me up at 4 am out of a deep sleep again.

Share this post


Link to post

Hi Patricia - glad you had a nice weekend . Sounds like a window perhaps ? That is a lot of activities and it is great you were able to do them even though you were tired afterwards . Whenever I do social things I feel accomplished and almost like a 'normal' person . I also try to remember the good days when I hit with nasty symptoms, that helps .

Share this post


Link to post

Hi PatriciaVP:

 

Haven't seen you on for a while.

 

Just thought I would drop by and say, and see how you're doing?

 

Hope well. :)

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

Share this post


Link to post

Feeling stable for several weeks now. Only experiencing fatigue and sleepiness which were the side effects that started me on this journey.

 

Tapered by .5 milligrams this past Sunday 4/9 to 6.5 mgs. Monday and Tuesday felt more energetic and happy. Wednesday I felt tired again and slightly depressed. Today still tired, but depression is gone. I felt quite dizzy at the gym this morning. Dizziness seems to be a recurring theme with each drop for me.

 

So far symptoms have been very mild and totally manageable this time. Here's hoping it continues.

Share this post


Link to post

that's great news Patricia! I hope it continues to go as well for you, or even better, if possible.

 

:)

Share this post


Link to post

Well, it's hit. Depression, anxiety, cog fog, even akathesia especially in the morning. This irritating driving force descends on me as the sun rises but moving feels impossible. Fortunately that passes as the day goes. Perhaps more quickly than it has in the past? Maybe just wishful thinking.

 

Seems like 1/2 mgs may have been too much of a drop. Staying at 6.5 for now, but next time will try 1/4 mgs. Of course that probably won't be for a while.

Share this post


Link to post

oh ugh, sorry you're dealing with this again.

 

I hope that it fades quickly; do you usually have a few bad days when you taper and then level off?

Share this post


Link to post

Hi Catnapt,

 

Yes, I'm noticing a pattern when I reduce a bit. No change for a couple of days followed by several days of increased energy and a lift in my mood. Then I start to get dizzy for a few days and the anxiety, depression and akathesia descend shortly thereafter. The good news is that I seem to be cycling through it more quickly this time. The anxiety and akathesia have receded already. I felt much better upon waking this morning than I did yesterday. Now struggling with depression, cog fog and irritability mostly.

Share this post


Link to post

oh I sure hope that it continues in this pattern, til you don't have any WD effects at all, that would be great eh?

I have to remind myself, when the symptoms hit, that it means my brain is making the necessary adjustments to get me back to my "factory default" hahaha

 

and to try to be, if not happy, at least, somewhat relieved, that my brain is doing what it needs to do to recover from the chemical assualt

 

nice day today, I hope you can get out and enjoy it!!

Share this post


Link to post

Thought:

 

Taking drugs to improve your mood is like wearing high heels to improve your posture. It might work for a while, but the damage it causes can be catastrophic.

Share this post


Link to post

Thought:

Taking drugs to improve your mood is like wearing high heels to improve your posture. It might work for a while, but the damage it causes can be catastrophic.

PatriciaVP:

 

I couldn't agree with you more.

 

Hope you are doing well. :)

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

Share this post


Link to post

My balance is improving. Today, at the gym, I was able role my glutes on a foam roller balancing on one hand. I totally didn't know that was possible for me. I'm sure working out has increased my balance, but I think the psych meds were impairing me more than I realized.

 

In general I am doing much better. All serious symptoms have dissipated and I am feeling more energized. Cognition is also improved.

Share this post


Link to post

Psychiatry should be considered a faith-based initiative.

Share this post


Link to post

Where's the like button! :D

Share this post


Link to post

Felt awful this morning. Anxiety, akathesia, uncontrollable crying, racing thoughts all came on me so suddenly. It felt like a sink hole had opened up beneath me and swallowed me.

 

At 10:00 am I realized I had missed my dose of Lexapro last night so I took it then. Everything started to calm down within 20 minutes. I just hope I didn't screw things up by taking it at such an odd time.

Share this post


Link to post

If I miss my dose, I take it as soon as I remember. I also take the next dose half way between that one and the time when the next one is due. I somehow feel skipping a dose entirely would cause more disruption.

 

Things settle down quickly so you shouldn't have any problems except for a potential uneaseness over the next few days.

Share this post


Link to post

oh that sucks!! I hope that this doesn't rock the boat too much. you'll probably be fine

Share this post


Link to post

I hope today is better!
(((hugs)))

Share this post


Link to post

Still feeling awful. Can't believe how much that one missed dose has messed me up. Seems like it's thrown me into a terrible wave. Anxiety, agitation and racing thoughts terrorised me all morning. It's finally calmed down, but now I am so listless.

Share this post


Link to post

Learned a new word - credulity. According to Wikipedia it is the state of willingness to believe in something in the absence of proof or knowledge. Most psychiatrists must be constantly in credulity.

Share this post


Link to post

Learned a new word - credulity. According to Wikipedia it is the state of willingness to believe in something in the absence of proof or knowledge. Most psychiatrists must be constantly in credulity.

boy you got that right!!!!

Share this post


Link to post

Weekend before last I went to stay with my close friends for the weekend. Saturday morning I woke up feeling better than I had in a while. Sunday was a whole different story. I woke up feeling extremely anxious. Akathesia and uncontrollable crying soon set in. Everyone sleeps until noon or so so I was on my own while all this was happening.

 

I realized after an hour or so that I hadn't taken my magnesium the night before. I took it and felt better within half an hour. It's hard to believe that missing one dose of magnesium could have caused so much distress.

 

We had Chinese the night before. I know the place we went doesn't use msg, but my friend wondered if they used some other seasoning that didn't agree with me.

 

Since then, my med and supplement intake has been steady, and I've been steadily OK. Just constant fatigue and occasional mild anxiety. One really annoying thing I've noticed is constantly needing to pee and having a hard time holding it especially when I'm anxious.

Share this post


Link to post

sorry you went thru a rough patch, glad things are steadily improving.

 

oh I had that problem too, with needing to pee all the time, I ended up getting what I called "old lady pee pads" lol but it helped me to relax knowing I had back up in case of an accident.

I tried period pads first, but they don't work nearly as well as like the "depend" or "poise" brand pads.

 

 

lexapro is a strange drug, it seems when coming off it, many people go thru stages with similar symptoms, that change as the dose gets lower.

 

I hope that you have smooth sailing from here on out!!

Share this post


Link to post

It's been over 2 months since my last tiny drop, and I've felt just awful the past two days. Anxiety, akathesia, agitation, depression, crying - I'm in constant turmoil until late in the afternoon when I finally get some exhausted peace. I keep wondering how much of this might still be side effects. I also think that if I'm going to have to go 3 or more months between every tiny drop, I'm  never going to be free of this poison or this process. I'm rapidly losing hope.

Share this post


Link to post

Patricia, nice to see you. Sorry to read that your symptoms continue to be difficult. 

 

JanCarol recently posted in another member's intro about genetic liver enzyme profiles:

On 2017-06-16 at 3:29 AM, JanCarol said:

... genetic liver enzyme profile.

 

It is becoming fashionable in the US to get a liver enzyme genetic test done to see if you can metabolize a drug before they prescribe it.  It's called "personalized medicine," and really, it's just an excuse to find something on the chart to prescribe.  It does, however, prevent harm, as toxic reactions to these drugs can be disabling.  I am beginning to wonder if you might be in that category.  

I just looked up - and I'm having trouble finding out which enzymes, and I don't normally recommend this, but it might be something you can investigate.  If you do find out you have a CYP/liver conflict, then that will change how you should approach your taper.

 

There's more information here:  

 

Is this something you've had done, or would consider?  If you do it and discover that you're lacking sufficient enzymes to metabolize your medications, then you'd have an explanation. If you discover that you do have sufficient enzymes, then you can rule that out as a cause of your symptoms.

 

Of course, this may not be an option due to insurance and out-of-pocket costs.

Share this post


Link to post

Thanks Scallywag. That may help guide my taper a little better.

Share this post


Link to post

 

It's so hard to just keep swimming when you are hit with a couple of bad days in a row.

 

but try to hold on, a good day is just around the corner. 

 

I don't know what to say about your taper. Mine was done all wrong, so I'm no one to give advice there, for sure. 

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post

Feeling much better today. Woke up with very mild anxiety and only a slightly upset stomach. Hoping for the beginning of a window. 

Incontinence is still an issue. While I was brushing my teeth I suddenly had to go. Tried to hold it, but started peeing anyway. It's not a muscle issue because at other times I have to go badly and have no problem holding it. This seems to happen about the same time most mornings, and it's as if the message to hold is not getting from my brain to my bladder muscle. It has to be one of the more bizarre withdrawal symptoms.

Decided not to bother with the genetic testing. Wasn't sure what difference knowing if I had the gene to metabolise the drug would make. I'm getting off the drug anyway, and I don't think speeding up the process is a good idea at this point. I really can't go any slower than I have been.

If this is actually a window and it lasts maybe I'll be able to resume my taper again soon. It's just been so long.

Share this post


Link to post

so happy to hear that you're feeling better!! I do hope it's the start of a long, wide-open window!

 

I had that awful incontinence issue for most of last winter and into spring.

now sometimes I have almost the opposite issue, my bladder doesn't tell me when it's full and I'll be stunned by how full it is when I go. I should have gotten the "urge" probably hours sooner, but never did.

it's some mis communication between that part of the body and our brains.

amazing how many things these damn drugs effect, eh? :/

 

anyway, I hope you are able to resume your taper soon! it will be good to have this done and over with, but rushing it just seems to backfire, so you are smart to take your time and adjust your speed of taper to your symptoms

 

 

Share this post


Link to post

Very tired today, but at least I can rest. No adrenaline rushes or heart palpitations as I start to relax. Still with the crazy incontinence same time each morning.

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now