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☼ Rockingchaircat: recovery from psychotropic drugs that were prescribed willy nilly.

Rockingchaircat

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Rockingchaircat

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Preliminary Result- I've been taking Amino acids, one at a time, on an empty (ish) stomach.  Tryptophan, Tyrosine, Theanine, during the day. I also ate a banana, which may or may not have anything to do with the good feeling...well lack of a bad feeling I'd gotten today. The anxiety right now is near to non existent. Which, when you get down to it, is probably the best thing.   More on this as it develops.

 

I am noticing that despite it being Spring in the Willamette Valley- my allergies aren't anywhere near as bad as they'd been the last decade and a half. 

 

I was always under the impression that Amino Acids- were the kind of thing that our bodies simply produced on their own. And that anything we ate, couldn't cross the blood-brain barrier.  And yet I was watching a youtube video a few days ago, and I hear about one Doc talking about how Antidepressants = poisons and that they mess around with neurotransmitters. And that folks could only get their neurotransmitters from their diet....?!?

 

So- I've been trying Tryptophan, and a couple others. They might have something to do with the nice feelings I've been getting of late. It's not like they're benzos. Because their cropping up is intermittent, and easily overcome if I work at it. (Which I try not to do). 

I hope this helps, because essentially it's the Neurotransmitter unbalancing created by Antidepressant use. And on that video- the Doc mentioned that if one neurotransmitter (such as Serotonin) is out of whack, it'll affect the others. They're interconnected.

Big surprise. I'm hoping that the aminos I'm taking, might help to get things back into whack. If anything else, if they continue to help me feel better- it'll make the inevitable recovery time a bit easier to bear.

 

No, I don't expect a Panacea. I'm just desperate for something that allows me to do better. As someone/several others have noted- one's attitude can affect how you endure. Well, feeling better for even a little bit helps with my attitude.

Apparently there is a transport biological equivalent of a mechanism that allows amino acids to cross over the blood-brain barrier.

http://jn.nutrition.org/content/136/1/218S.full

 

BUT it can only accomodate a certain amount of Amino Acids at one time. Thus if one takes too much or too many- some of it won't make it across- apparently there is a class system in said transport- some aminos have an E-ticket, whereas others have to give up their seat.

 

Amino Acid Jumpstart?  Taurine is doing me some good, I slowed down taking it and I had a definite increase in Cortisol spikes at night.

 

Like I stated before- Amino Acids are not psychotropic/benzos or such.  They're part and parcel of the building blocks and vitamins/minerals our bodies NEED to heal.  Not like those imposter/psychotropics. 

 

So- if it helps. I'm willing to give it a shot.

 

He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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When someone has recovered and posts a success story we lock the introduction thread, and the success story becomes the one to update with all the joys of recovery. We have shared Rockingchaircat's jo

Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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Sleep last night- fairly good. But it was the usual: wake up every hour or so and stare at the ceiling for a bit. 2 a.m.- the usual Cortisol spike. BUT, no skin burn for much of the day yesterday. 3:30 more or less awake- but no inevitable anxiety. And I actually feel hunger pangs.  I had an appetite this morning. 

I did get a 5 a.m. tide of anxiety, whereupon I took a Tyrosine (500 mg). Immediately. Now, about an hour later- the anxiety seems to have throttled back. And the anxiety/skin burn seems to have alleviated mostly. I just took the tryptophan, and will be monitoring what happens. 

 

Now in a 'normal' window- I don't get any cortisol surges. The fact that I'd gotten one anyway indicates to me that it's not a window per se. But something I seem to have created. Which gives me a bit of guarded hope. Last night the wife noticed the improvement of my mood. And I have to admit I rather liked it too. Now, the nervousness has always been there on the edges in the last 24. But all in all- it's been fairly easy to distance myself from it.

 

No it's going to be a cure. But if, like the Taurine, it makes life a bit more bearable, I shall definitely continue on with my Amino Therapy.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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0700 Nervous energy gone, feeling ok. Took Theanine. 

0747 Feeling good. Ate Banana.

0815- left for appointment.  Slight brain fog in middle of forehead, left upper sinus.

0920- Now headache in same spots as brain fog.

0945.- Headache gone.

1200- Crowded room, slightly overwhelming- feeling weird. But stable.

1300- Checking symptoms. Stuffed myself on free food at meeting. Crowded room. A bit noisy, but I managed it. Some slight fatigue which is fairly easily fought off. No skin burn for several hours.

 

When it comes to Skin Burn- I use that as an indicator that I'm anxious or equivalent- because when I don't have it - i'm usually getting close to, or coming out of a Nasty Fatigue.  But usually- Fatigue days = No appetite. I've got plenty of appetite, perhaps too much.

It's much easier to smile and make jokes- which has the result of folks giving me odd looks, it's not something I've been doing much of, of late. 

 

Now my symptoms haven't gone completely away- but it's nice. DAMNABLY Nice, to not feel a constant Anxiety for hours and hours. More on this as it develops. I'm hoping this continues for...well until I heal on my own.

It may be cheating, but  you know- I'm sick of being sick. And I've got a job to attend. 2 years of almost constant Anxiety trying to wean myself off of this is ...ah well y'all know what I'm griping about.

 

Taurine, Tyrosine. Theanine. Tryptophan.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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Day 6 of the Amino Acid Therapy (4T's).

I was awake at 2 in the morning (my usual first Cortisol surge of the night) and I got it anyways. I was awake and it happened. WTF?!

Well anyway- I am feeling better. And I think I've been sleeping a bit better. Wait and see. I hope this continues. Life is much more interesting when you don't have a whole bunch of anxiety weighing you down.  As to sleep- it's intermittent. Last night I went to bed at the usual time (2000 hours). And stared at the ceiling for the first hour- too much energy. I may try staying up later and seeing what happens.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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Day 7. No Cortisol surges last night. Nice. Anxiety attacks and skin burns- are under control still. I went to bed a half hour later than normal and was actually sleepy at that point. I slept in 2 hour increments. Checking in the morning- urine during the night- no cloudiness. Last urination- after that check was cloudy. Strange.

I found a script for some antibiotic I'd used 12 years ago: Tequin. Aka- Gatifloxacin. A methoxyfluoroquinolone.  The quionolone that has been recommended we NOT get.

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6216-non-psych-drugs-causing-psych-symptoms/?hl=quinolone

 

Bastards.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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Day 7 of my 4T's Amino Acid therapy.

Second night of NO Cortisol Surges. I'm still sleeping in two hour increments. It's take a bit to fall asleep but I appear to be having more restful sleep when I do. Yesterday was a going away party for the boss who is retiring. I had several pieces of food- and they ALL TASTED DELICIOUS!  It's good to taste again.  My tongue does go numb now and again- usually after drinking orange juice. But it goes away.  It'd be too easy to keep eating.

 

I will be keeping an eye out for some D-Phenylalanine Endorphin precursor to help with that. I've also noticed that Earworms are no longer quite a problem- it used to be I'd get one song stuck in my head for weeks during the worst of my recovery. Now it's almost impossible to keep an earworm going/much easier to get another tune stuck.

 

I'm still feeling a bit fatigued- but it's improving. I think it's mostly due to the fact that I'm many ways exhausted from this ordeal. So- I'm taking things easy when I can, and when the body demands it.

 

It helps a LOT that I'm not in constant anxiety.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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SquirrellyGirl Newbie

SquirrellyGirl

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RCC, it is so great to hear how much better you are doing!  Would you say that the taurine was instrumental in ending the cortisol spikes?  Anything in particular you feel made a difference to you turning the corner, or is it just "time?"  Whatever it is, I'm glad it's taking you in the right direction :-)

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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RCC, it is so great to hear how much better you are doing!  Would you say that the taurine was instrumental in ending the cortisol spikes?  Anything in particular you feel made a difference to you turning the corner, or is it just "time?"  Whatever it is, I'm glad it's taking you in the right direction :-)

 

SG

Instrumental? Partially.

I would include at least three other Amino Acids to the mix: Tyrosine, Theanine, and Tryptophan.  If I can go another week without backsliding I'll report in more detail.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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Day 8 of Amino Acid Therapy. Night 3 of NO CORTISOL SPIKES!

 

In fact, my sleep is taking on a significant improvement- Instead of a 1.5 to 2 hour increment of sleep, I managed to get in a 3 hour increment.  Quite the improvement.  But I still have a ways to go- when I can meditate without falling asleep.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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Day 9 of Amino Acid Therapy. Night 4 of no Cortisol Spikes. It's a weird feeling to get a halfway decent night's sleep, several nights in a row. I can tell I've still got the underlying symptoms: When I get close to the 24 hours since my last Amino Acid ingestion- I start to get my skin burn again. It doesn't take long for it to go away. So- yeah, my body is still trying to achieve homeostasis, but the worst symptoms (Constant Anxiety & Cortisol spikes) have been placated.

Earworms- almost gone. I still get tunes stuck in my head, but it's far easier to dislodge them. Often I can just hear a catchy tune on the radio or someone's Ipod- and it's good. As opposed to weeks of the same song. Fatigue- still comes and goes. But I get the notion that it's more fatigue from dealing with the anxiety for months. I'd love to do nothing more than take a few weeks off and slough off and nap whenever- but I'm still years away from retirement. And it's gonna be a lot longer before I get a vacation again.

Goose Pimples- I actually got them from the anticipation of a movie I wanted to see on DVD. That is a sign (I read) that my neurotransmitters are starting to kick in properly. Of course the fatigue may also be due to the chores I've been working on. Saturday I got done with scraping moss off of the roof of my house. THAT was labor intensive. It's nice to finally start getting caught up with house chores.

Salt- I'm not eating anywhere near as much salt as I used to- which is a good sign. Libido- What's that? I'm much calmer. Something about not being under the constant stress of anxiety. Yeah, and my blood pressure is often at a good level now.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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I had a cortisol surge last night.  I'm awake at 2 in the morning and I can't fall back asleep. 2:30 rolls in and BAM! Cortisol Surge. Just the one. But it's enough.

 

But to be fair- yesterday was a Monday and it was aggravating as all hell. A long standing problem with my pharmacy doing everything it can to not do their job. I hand carried my script to them and they claim they don't have it! They pull this **** every six months when I get a renewal from my doc.  And last I heard, suddenly my insurance needs a 'pre-authorization' to cover it.

 

My coworker yesterday, whom I was supposed to be taught a piece of equipment on, is an incredibly frustrating person to work with. He won't take notes, and he loves going off on tangents. This piece of equipment had developed a fault. Excellent learning opportunity. And I learned quite a bit. I learned that he'll flounder along for hours working in the hot spring sun until he'll finally admit that he doesn't know what he's doing.

 

I could go on, but I'm getting myself worked up into a tizzy just thinking about it all.

Yesterday I had a skin burn. It's like my body is pushing back against my Amino Acid Therapy. That I HAVE to be in a foul mood all of the time regardless. 

 

It's a common enough problem for us folks. We start to feel halfway decent in a window and we start to act like nothing is wrong. And that we can do all of the usual B.S. with impunity.  I'm going to continue with the Amino Acid therapy I devised and try to take things easier today.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

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I've taken all of my Aminos. And I just got done eating a Banana. My anxiety is DETERMINED to hold on. I can feel my right elbow burning like a spearmint lifesaver burn. And the right side of my sternum feels the same. I'm feeling a bit sleepy (big surprise!) the lack of a good sleep in the last quarter of the night might have something to do with that. Additionally- I've gotten diarrhea again.  Why does the body have to be so damnably determined to not let us function?

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

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I've been dealing with Anxiety and skin burn all danged day.  Two hours ago I had a just about full blown anxiety, then 15 minutes later I'm good and no skin burn. Then 15 minutes after that blood pressure goes up and it's hard to breathe. Right now- I'm battling falling asleep. My skin burn is slight, with the occasional flare ups.  I took another Tyrosine capsule about an hour ago. And since I seem to be having an allergic reaction I took an Allegra. Allegra doesn't make me sleepy.  

I've also been clumsy as all heck of late. Stuff I'd normally do with no problem- right now I keep bashing into or knocking things over. Driving back to the office it occurred to me that I should probably have shifted to Park before shutting off the engine. Last night's Lumosity scores- I beat several Top 5 scores. Then later an Orgasm. It may have upset the balance.

 

Just can't win for losing. Definitely a backslide. Today- sunburned a bit. And cranky.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

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The wife pointed out to me- that my symptoms (crankiness all day before, fatigue, etc.) has all the hallmarks of a Nasty Fatigue Day.  Which means that it's THE easiest to get over fatigue day I've gotten.  Which is weird, because until last night I had 4 nights of near totally restful sleep.

Well the symptoms come and go and come and go. I imagine that I'll be getting Cortisol Spikes tonight. And probably for the next few nights as well. It was good while it lasted, but I'm not gonna be all crybaby about losing it.  Who knows? Maybe this is a bump in the road. 

 

I'm gonna stay the course on the Amino Acid Therapy. It does seem to have done me SOME good, even today.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

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Strangely enough- no Cortisol Spikes last night. i did have a nightmare of sorts, it involved the Old Man mouthing off.   But the lack of C/S didn't make for an improved sleep. I'm awake at 2 in the morning, and for one hour I'm awake, and the next hour I surf/doze. Right now I'm dragging. No hunger before breakfast, none now. Still continuing the Amino Acid regimen. No skin burn right now. But I've had a low level anxiety come and go last night. A reflection of yesterday. I'm slow today. Inertia permeates just about everything.

Last night- it was minor gastritis. The last couple days- my left elbow feels like I've got tendonitis. Left knee and left leg muscles around the knee have been giving me problems. Can't win for losing.

 

Eventually- the good days will be back. 

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

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Most decidedly a Fatigue Day. As just sitting here I'm wanting to take a nap. Yet if I get up and walk or do something constructive- I can keep going almost as if I'm 'normal'. But with a few minutes of taking it easy... 

The skin burn is almost nonexistent. Though i have had a flare or two.  

 

Yet, I have to admit- it has gotten easier to withstand lying down for a nap or calling in sick. Much as I'd love to, I know it wouldn't really do me much good. I'd just end up the day after staring into space like a zombie. Better to feel the fatigue now and get some time on work instead of off. I cannot say the Fatigue day is because of rest that I'm overdue on. As the four or five days prior to this Fatigue day I was sleeping rather well and the closest I'd felt to feeling refreshed.

 

When I'm healed, i look forward towards regular sleeping like I did last week. I'd quite forgotten what that was like.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

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I managed to stay awake until the desired bedtime. And got about 7-ish hours of sleep. Lots of dreams. Still dog tired upon getting up. Now two hours later- I'm still fatigued. It may have something to do with my nausea I'm feeling this morning. Skin burn felt much more intense today. Minimal anxiety after tyrosine, just took my tryptophan.  

It appears that I get nasty fatigue days along about every week and a half to two weeks. I was able to push through yesterday and not fall asleep for the most part. The afternoon 'meditation' cum nap was about 20 minutes. And then I stay awake until three and a half hours longer.  It's amazing that the internet helps out with that. I managed to do a workout- even though I take far longer to rest up between sets. The day feels like ANOTHER nasty fatigue day.  It's like my body is DETERMINED to punish me for this withdrawal. 7 hours of sleep and upon awakening you feel like you didn't sleep at all. Crap.

 

Ode To Sleep
SWEET Sleep! that unsolicited to all,
    In night's dark robe descending from the sky,
Soft as the dews upon the meadows fall,
    Dost shed thy poppies o'er the languid eye!

By me alone! too long, too vainly sought,
    While all around enjoy thy sweetest flowers!
While dreams illusive gild the shades of thought,
    Thou doom'st me still to watch the number'd hours!

Why heaves the sigh in this unruffled breast?
    'Tis not the past can tinge this cheek with shame;
No fury stings, no envy gnaws my rest,
    And love, to me, is but an empty name.

What though yon moon so pleasing lures the gaze,
    (Mild image of the mind serenely fair,)
Have not these eyes drunk in its glorious blaze
    Till their tir'd orbs, unglutted, seek repair?

Come then, kind pow'r! whose eyes in darkness roll,
    And stop the circuit of quick fancy's flow!
Benumb the sleepless energies of soul,
    Till the bright morn shall bid my Muse to glow!
Let dreams of friendship ling'ring night beguile;
While fame upon my pillow deigns to smile!
 
-Emma Lyon

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

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More doom and gloom.

Yesterday was the Nasty Fatigue after day. Mostly tired all day, fighting to stay awake. I lost out a couple of times. Looking back, it seems like ALL my life I've been sleep deprived. Seldom, very seldom, do I ever seem to get enough sleep. Even after Basic Training and getting some days off- I'd get some sleep, and then within a couple of weeks- it's straight back to poor sleep.

 

Post dinner meditate/nap- high blood pressure, nausea.  Still I sleep for about 30 minutes intermittently.

Bedtime 8. Fall asleep eventually. Sleep hard. Wake up at 9. Feel confused and lost. Sleep past midnight- halfway decent. Wake up around 2 hunger pangs. Intense hunger pangs. Sleep/doze until 4. No hunger pangs upon arising. Make myself eat. 

 

Last week was so very nice....someday....

 

Blood pressure rises due to high Serotonin. High serotonin due to antidepressant. doc wants me to take high blood pressure pills to counter. BP pills turn my bowels into water. Result- fatigued due to lack of nutrients. Result- way too much eating.  Weight Gain.

 

I've noticed of late that my clothes have become looser. Which would be a good thing if it weren't for the long term generally feeling like crapola all of the damned time. Last week's window- increased appetite but not like I was on A/D. Skin burn was next to nonexistent. Improved sleep most of the week with 4 days of no Cortisol spikes. 

Checking research- it looks like we're trying to balance out our serotonin and dopamine levels. Mine balance of same is most definitely out of whack.  Which appears to be the culprit behind my nasty fatigue days in some manner.

 

Today's Amino Acid therapy- I'm holding off on the Tryptophan- based on the notion that perhaps I'm getting plenty of Serotonin.  I'm trying to figure out if perhaps my Nasty Fatigue days are a result of my body boosting the Serotonin output too much. To some a Normal Dopamine level coupled with a High Serotonin, leaves the body with a 'relative' feeling as if the Dopamine level is low. As I recall last night while falling asleep at one point I had a very low level restless leg event- instead of the left leg it was the right and it involved my foot spreading the toes. Weird stuff.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

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Today May 6, 2015 is 293 days since my Antidepressant Jump off. (July 18, 2015).

452 days since Ativan jump off.

 

Man I really want to mess up a Pharmaceutical Person right now.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

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Same as always. Never enough sleep to feel rested. Half the night is stare at the ceiling and rolling over in bed. I took the Taurine at the usual time, and then again in the middle of the night.  No Cortisol surge, but still no sense of refreshment.

When I picked my daughter up- she wasn't there, but she left her stuff lying about near her usual wait spot. Including her purse. Not smart. I took my friend some lunch to her at the Riverbend Hospital. She had stayed with her husband since his surgery the day before. Apparently he's been coughing and hiccuping so hard everytime he was awake- that he tore his staples. While I was there, he was taken back into surgery for them to repair that.  Mildly hot day. A bit of stress, but I'm trying to manage it. I don't need another Nasty Fatigue day again.

Last night I had a bit of a restless leg again. Very mild. Quite warm, and it took forever for the room to cool off.  I took a nap an hour ago. The result of which- I felt slightly less tired after. No Cortisol Surge- which is an improvement.

Discipline is what keeps me going. The memories of last week are still fresh enough to savor.  Seven and a half days. That's the longest window I've had EVER. I may have triggered it, I may not. Four nights of which I slept pretty damned well.  I imagine that within the next 6 months. I might be getting more windows than waves. But that's probably wishful thinking on my part. 

No tryptophan today.  I'm thinking that the Nasty Fatigue is due to too much Serotonin, not enough Dopamine.  High Serotonin- No Libido. Low Dopamine- No Libido. Amazing coincidence that.

 

Last week gave me a tasty of 'normality'. I will have it again. I will be normal. I just don't know when. 

Two Hundred Ninety Four Days of not taking an antidepressant. That's a good track record.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

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Day 295.

I started taking a taurine in the middle of the night as well. It seems to help.  BUT taking a tyrosine and going back to bed for some dozing doesn't. As every doze dream was a nightmare.  Well- now I know. 

I visited friend in hospital again, and brought her some breakfast- Cheese Bagel + Cream Cheese from Bagel Sphere. Apparently it hit the spot for her in her vigil. Some days are more worse than others- today is one.  It's the realization that when I manage to find someway of managing one symptom, another crops up or flares up worse. It's like I'm being punished for trying to make things easier. "It's not allowed" apparently.  I've been getting moody again. I realize that I do have the energy to do things.  Just not much motivation. I just allowed myself three M&M's. And see what happens. Right now- I'm fighting falling asleep. The hospital trip, dealing with the kid, dealing with the wife, and dealing with the shopping has me close to being stressed out/burned out. Perhaps the chocolate will help.

Reviewing my blogging- it's just been a round robin of anxiety attacks in the morning, fatigue, ennui, and hopelesness- for months. Same Spit Different Day. It's just that some things are less intense. I can't really say if my depersonalization occurs of late. Today's low blood sugar comes closest.  The skin burn comes goes. Ah hell, it migrates- but stays near my right elbow.

I got some goosebumps listening to Katy Perry's Roar- it's been months since I've gotten any.

I had an olfactory episode during my week off. The smell of mold around a spot that I'd passed a dozen times since that doesn't smell like it after. 

Getting on the internet helps with staying awake.

 

----

 

Half hour later. Not quite so sleepy. But still not up to driving. Of course last night's nightmares may have something to do with my watching Ghost in the Shell. For an animated movie they sure knew how to portray creepy.

It's gonna be a while before I'm up to watching scary movies again.  But I shall.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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Day 296. I flipped out.  I went to bed at 8. I got woken up 40 minutes later by the neighbor pounding away at some project of his and he continued on for an hour. I tried shouting to him but he wouldn't listen. 9:40 at night- he finally stops. My cortisol surge occurs again at 2 in the morning. And I am completely unable to get back to sleep. I even took a Taurine at midnight- I may as well have taken a water pill. I decide to call in sick for the day. As I felt it was better to try and do SOME sleeping than attempt to drive in that condition.  It kinda helped. But every single doze resulted in my having a cortisol surge. Not even trying to meditate helped.

The wife went ahead and visited our friend in hospital, and he's in good spirits- of course he's also on an epidural that he is expected to push a button for pain relief every 15 minutes.

Visiting them yesterday freaked me out for some reason. 

I'm just feeling a bit strung out- the one opportunity to get even a modicum of restful sleep and the freaking neighbor...

 

Tomorrow I go to work, I've got to get out of the house.  

And the wife talked to me concerning having a better outlook. I can try. I shall. I will. Today's workout- I channeled some anger into it, and got done much sooner.

Strangely enough I've been trying to up my dopamine levels through the tyrosine, banana, and sniffing coffee grounds and M&M's.  I had a bit of libido today that the wife and I took advantage of. Strangely enough the week of good I had a bit ago- my libido was nonexistent.  Dopamine = Libido according to the Internet.

 

And neurotransmitters. One site says that Taurine is a precursor to Gaba, another says Glutamate is.  And it appears that there are quite a few neurotransmitters with many variations of such. Serotonin alone has 7 known ones. Each with their own function.

So it's more than just boosting serotonin; it's the way they interact.  Nerve damage takes the longest to heal. 

 

My wife needs me, my daughter needs me. I will be there for them.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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Day 297. I managed to get some sleep last night- as a result- I'm feeling a bit less exhausted all of the time. My attempts to bring up my Dopamine level seems to be working- I got hungry last night, and still was upon dragging myself out of bed.  Most of the night spent imitating a fish. 

A bit of a window yesterday- sexual desire. 

 

Time Sense.  The vast majority of the last 2 years- during withdrawal, Time Crawls. In the few windows- Time Flies. Ain't that a pisser? It's an uphill climb trying to fight the bad mood.

Currently: skin burn, fatigue, hopelessness, a bit of brain fog. Hungry without really being hungry. A spurt of Hyperosmia. A coworker came in and I could smell the stale cigarette smoke on him 10 feet away. But not now, a couple of minutes later.

Now is trying to fill up the time until the next opportunity to sleep.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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I appear to be developing tolerance to the scent of M&M's but not to the smell of third hand nicotine from a coworker. Lucky me. On the flip side- I had a bit of a window today, lasting a few hours. I'm feeling a bit slow/fatigued, but no where near as bad as a Nasty Fatigue Day. Like that time, I just have to push through.

 

And apparently I've lost enough weight that other folks are noticing it as well.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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298

Toe twitches. Last night it was toe twitches that eventually turned into full blown restless leg. Joy. And I got it all through the night. So last night was not the most restful even for what I've been getting of late.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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I've just been feeling weird all damnable day. Well weirder than ...'normal'.... like there is something ....'broken' within me. I'm afraid of losing my humanity to this. This relentless barrage of negative sensations. And I most certainly don't want to go back to the old ways of being on the pills.

 

Of all the symptoms- the anxiety is the most steadfast in holding on, after the Cortisol Spikes.  All of the others, including the skin burn, the fatigue, the cycle of no hunger/ravenous hunger, Blood pressure spikes to blood pressure lows.

 

I went onto the Depression pills upon the advice of a doc. As a result of the pills I developed strange conditions that allowed GERD, then after that went away- esophagael clampsia that eventually turned into my getting my trachea botched up because of an idiot who didn't know how to intubate. Result- I'm on a CPAP if I want to breathe at night. 

 

I'm venting. Pay me no mind.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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Day 299. 

I've been attempting to work on being more positive.  Attempting on thinking good thoughts. It may or may not have worked so far- last night was a good sleep. As usual the last hour was intermittent. Also the last couple of days I've been eating a bit more meat for meals. That too seems to work. Go Figure.

The usual spot of skin burn is off. But a more generalized location appears to be occurring- in my arms, off and on. I've been smelling chocolate with the occasional coffee for the aromatherapy.  And I've been working on my forgiving myself for chores and trying not to be so hard on myself.

Less the destination than the journey.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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I'm still doing the Amino Acid Therapy- but I've chosen to hold off on the Tryptophan- upon due consideration it may have been battling my tyrosine. 

 

Today was unusual. It started out 'normal', anxiety attacks and the like. But I've been battling (uphill) with a positive attitude to things. Tired? Go ahead and give myself time. Anxious? Deep breathing techniques and attempt a positive spin. Relax and try to get the anxiety to a less than dull roar.  Bad thing happen? Ignore it or Spin it.

 

Got a bit done. But I also chose to make it a good day, but I've been allowing myself to not get things done and forgiving myself for it.

 

At least one banana. And if I'm feeling tired I try to sense my blood pressure- possibly low? Drink. Liquids. A lot if need be. I guzzled a quart of Gatorade earlier- and I didn't need to pee any more than usual. Hmmm.

Eating extra animal protein.

And keeping myself busy as a distraction.

 

Talking to myself out loud- and if folks look at me odd- tell them why.  I'm being my own cheerleader- I'm just being a bit louder about it.

 

I did notice on my work out a bit ago- something unusual. I was resting in between sets. I was staring off into space, and I noticed a flicker of movement in my peripheral vision. Upon due study it was my head shadow on my arms. Apparently if I let myself gaze too long and then blink, for a few heartbeats some of the shadows darken/lessen- looking as if there is movement.  Which would explain a lot of the observation of peripheral movements I've noticed.

 

Earlier today- I was scared (not anxiety) for about 15 minutes. I talked myself through it.  Later on, I was angry, for about 15 minutes. I talked myself through it. Neither of those I could give as to a reason why.  I just counseled myself through.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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Day 300. 

I think I'm going through a bit of a change in my symptoms.  Last night- I was feeling well. ALMOST close enough to thinking i'm going through another window. (This just a couple of weeks after the previous). But it's more of a window/wave combo.  Things have been getting a bit easier as the day goes along.  But in the morning or late at night things get weird.

 

Instead of the restless leg- which comes and goes- instead it started out with toe twitches (in my right leg). Then it went to both legs (just the middle three toes on each foot). Then a bit of restless leg. For several hours- intermittently. Somehow I managed to get some sleep- don't ask me how. I was wired last night after the initial sleep nap after going to bed.  

 

When I did sleep- I slept well. And I had quite the appetite yesterday, and to some extent still do. But no cortisol spikes last night.  But instead of fully restful sleep, instead I'm getting more bouts of insomnia.  

 

But- instead of a constant anxiety through the day- instead I get spurts, short sessions of it. Relaxation/breathing techniques- seem to be able to bring them down. My emotions are weird too. Last night I play acted some anger upon meeting a bully and I got a berzerker rage for about 15 to 20 seconds. I calmed down a bit after that. But mostly I've been going through the negative emotions with the occasional positive one.  

 

The skin burn, comes, and then goes. It's almost as if the healing homeostasis has been kicked up or changed a notch or three. I'm still doing what I can to be my own best cheerleader.

 

And last night- the urine was dark, but not cloudy.

 

I've noticed that I've been developing a taste for extra animal proteins, and for Beef and Bean, or Chicken and Bean burritos (no cheese). They're ....satisfying.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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LemurLover Newbie

LemurLover

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Heya RCC,

 

I read your intro and a good chunk of your posts. You mentioned Testosterone therapy had been a bad deal for you. Would you be willing to write about it? You can PM me if it's not fit for public, and you feel OK talking about it.

History of health anxiety, diagnosed with MDD and anxiety

*Nefazadone for 6 months in 2009

*Pristiq 50 mg from 2010-2011. Had high bp on it, so I switched to

*Viibryd 20mg from 2011-2014. A new Pdoc suggested I quit it and use

*Deplin 15mg and NeuroScience supplements. Worked to avoid Viibryd withdrawals, and it stopped working after three months

No meds between late 2014 and now. Recently started Brintellix 5mg. Developed numbness, then tingling and burning, plus genital numbness. Tapered quickly off over two days (2.5mg each) and developed more burning in more places. Unsure if it's a side effect of the drug or breakthrough of health anxiety.

Pdoc wants me ot start Celexa, and I'm holding off for now.

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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Day 301.

 

Oops. I'm still mildly allergic to dairy. I think I MIGHT be ok. But I'll have to wait and see. I picked up a burger from Dickie Jo's, and despite requesting a hamburger (not a cheeseburger) I got the cheese anyways. I scrapped off most of it and tried to enjoy the rest. 

 

Oh and I'm officially calling this a Second Window- in as many weeks.  Last night, damned good sleep. Yeah I'm still getting plenty of symptoms of recovery, but the anxiety and the cortisol spikes are at a minimum and none- respectively. 

 

Second window, in two weeks. Methinks this Amino Acid Therapy is doing me so good- so far.  Previously- I'm lucky to get a window a month at most. First window a couple of weeks ago- was the longest window I'd had ever. More on this as it develops.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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Day 302.

 

Another night of fairly decent sleep. I held off eating any dinner under the notion that I'd been gorging (relatively) myself to keep this amino acid therapy working. The result of which: Insomnia and feeling cold for two hours upon going to bed. After that I got up, munched, and went back to bed- slept well the rest of the night feeling warm.

It appears that my internal body temperature control and blood pressure controls are still out of whack, which when I consider it, shouldn't come as a surprise.

 

I fully believe that I've found a way to ameliorate the worst of the withdrawal symptoms. But such confidence remains to be proven. However, the dairy products I ate yesterday left me unaffected.  Which is a good sign.  Today I will be going to the movies- Captain America, Civil War. Which would've been unthinkable not too long ago.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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Day 303

I had about 20 seconds of a very mild anxiety attack at 0355 this morning. It was ok in that I was staring at the ceiling at the time. But still.

I saw the latest Captain America movie- very violent, lots of innocent folks getting hurt- yet I'm unaffected. Right now I'm not sure if that is a good thing or bad....

 

Appetite wise- I've noticed a difference. I can avoid eating and notice it, but I'm not 'super hungry' as I would've been under the SSRI. I'm staying up later before going to bed, and this seems to result in a better night's rest. I'm still experiencing all of the healing symptoms of homeostasis- but it's at a level of much more manageable and tolerable. 

 

In short- I get to live my life during my recovery instead of being a recluse. The biggest thing for me to work on: Emotional swings. I could easily allow myself to get and stay cranky. If I did such- then guaranteed that I'd end up getting stressed out and having a relapse.  So, relaxation techniques and emotional management are the ticket for every day.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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Day 304. I got a min anxiety attack at 2:30 a.m. this morning. Then basically sleepsurfed till it was time to get up. But in the last 24 hours it was either fight falling asleep at work or stare at the ceiling when it's time to fall asleep. Late afternoon- I got the skin burn but this time it was in my chest. Right now I've got some skin burn on my shoulders. I get the notion that the body is annoyed that it cannot make me suffer with the anxiety/dread so it's attempting to find another avenue to torment me with.

I've also been quite ravenous food wise. But then I've also been trying to limit my caloric intake as well.  Salt craving comes and goes. I do some libido interest, but never at a convenient time.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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Day 305. Another minor anxiety attack at 2:30 in the morning. And sleepsurfed till it was time to get up, but I did manage to start to fall asleep heavily- 5 minutes before get up time. Typical. 

Yesterday I was ravenous- today I'm not. I had a minor anxiety attack this morning after brekky, along with some generalized skin burn. Deep breathing helped.  I definitely get the notion that the anxiety symptoms are pushing back against the amino acid therapy- determined to make me suffer. I've gotten a slowly migrating headache. It started on the left side of the forehead and now it's on the right. It feels like every little ache and pain has been magnified. I got a super stuffy nose on the way to work, and then 5 minutes later it's fine.

I cannot get a decent night's rest, but I drag all through the day wanting to sleep. God D**N the pharma companies! God D**n the Medicos! I've lost my trust for so many.

 

Today marks the start of my 11th month off of the Antidepressants. Urine the last 3 nights- dark, but not cloudy.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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Rockingchaircat Newbie

Rockingchaircat

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Day 306.

5 hours of sleep, maybe. It's the same spit every night. I wake up at 1:30 at night, stare at the ceiling/surf-doze till it's time to get up. No restless leg upon going to bed, but what the heck. A nap with the meditation after work. I'm dragging this morning (big surprise). I look forwards to the day I get refreshing sleep, even more sleep on a regular basis. The skin burn on the elbow(s) is gone, now it's just the occasional shoulder burn. The anxiety comes and goes away with relaxation techniques. I'm so very tempted to call in sick more often. But I've got a small pool to draw upon. 

 

Someday I will take vacation and be able to enjoy it.  I met a friend at the Pancake House for dinner. It was a nice change of pace, but in the end I don't think we'll be doing that again. Yesterday and today- not much appetite so that's a nice change. It's extremes with that- either ravenous or nothing.

 

Dang it's so tempting to find some Ambien and sleep with that. But in the end that's just another Z drug, and it'd be way too tempting to keep taking it until I hit tolerance.  Of which I get the notion that it'd not take very long.

 

Low day. Big surprise.

 

one hour later- I fell asleep on the john. Only a few minutes. But I'm feeling a bit better. I wish I could've fallen asleep in my bed instead at 2 in the morning. 

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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