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☼ Happy2Heal: Hope I'm doing this right


Happy2Heal

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  • Mentor

thank you SO much SJ and Andy

 

Andy, I have yet to see any clear pattern.  My waves and windows seem to be about as random as they come, except that I do notice that weather has a pretty big effect on me, although I'm trying to over come that, as I'm sure it's how I *Think* about the weather for the most part, and not the actual weather.

I was promised cognitive behavioral therapy but so far that is not what I am getting, I may need to ask for a new therapist or a group.

 

I will try to be kinder to myself. I mean, I *will* be kinder to myself.  ;-)

thanks again

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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Hi, Cat!

 

So frustrating having those unpredictable waves and good/bad days. Im totally with you when it comes to reaction on the weather. Low pressure is one of the best predictors for worsening of my WD symptoms now. 

 

You are so close to the finishing line. Keep up the good work, you will get out of this mess!

 

Warm and supporting thoughts to you.

 

Cipramillion

<p>Sept 2015: 5 mg Cipralex for 3 weeks. Lots of side effects. Reduced to 2.5 mg for 2 weeks. Experiencing withdrawal and side effects still after dose reduction. Quit after almost 4 weeks on 2.5 mg because of adverse effects. Experiencing withdrawal symptoms still. Reinstating 1mg after 3 weeks. Reduced to 0.50 after 2 days due to sensitive reaction (dysautonomia) and trip to ER. January 2016: After 14 months of tapering from 0.5 mg im now down to 0.08mg. Planing on one more drop before 4-8 weeks healing, then jump to zero. 14.03.17: Lexapro free!

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  • Mentor

thank you Cipramillion

well we've got a whole bunch of low pressure days ahead, lol, so I'm rummaging around in my tool box for ways to deal with any anticipated down days.

 

I feel very lucky that overall, my symptoms have improved dramatically from the crash back fall, but I guess part of me thinks that I should never have any more waves... only more improvement. I know that's silly but I guess it's only human to get "greedy".

 

I am finding that the same sorts of issues I was dealing with before, are circling back now, only in much milder form. So mild, in fact, that I often don't recognize the symptoms til they fade away.

 

I'm having some DP/DR, some more cognitive issues, memory issues, some mild agoraphobia and fears of things that by themselves aren't the least bit scary (the corner of the rat room for example)

some mild depression, and some PTSD issues that I need to work thru, and am hoping to find a CBT therapist to help me with; just an assortment of mostly mild stuff.

 

I did get some decent sleep last night, and spent a couple of hours this morning listening to meditation/hypnosis videos such as this one:

 

this is such a long journey, it's really no wonder we get weary along the way and want to speed it up somehow. I am working more on acceptance.

Funny thing, I feel like I was much more accepting while I was on the lexapro, but that's just a distortion of my memory I think. what I was, in fact, was in a fog, and so there was no bad (also no good) feelings to have to accept, I just lived in my own little world, deep inside my mind, and the outside world barely existed, except where it intersected with mine in a way that I had no choice but to engage with it.

now that world is wide open to me, and it's scary and overwhelming at times. It takes a lot more work and energy to master being out in the world. it's exhausting but more often than not, it feels good or at least "not bad".

 

I'm having a day when I'm still not sold on this being worth it, I mean, tapering off the drug. It's easy to forget, when things get rough, that it was no picnic being over medicated either.

 

acceptance.

Must work on that more.

I get these wants and desires in my head, and think that things "have to" go that way, and when they don't, it throws me off.

 

in writing this, I am realizing that what bothers me most is the unpredictability of not just this journey, but life in general. I want things steady and predictable and safe.

I've lost that feeling of safety and of having things, routines, that I could rely on.

 

so much has changed, that my old routines do not work for me now. And establishing new ones is hard and unfamiliar and not feeling very solid yet.

I know I'll get there in time, but it's this time of waiting, that's so tired and taxing.

 

so that's my morning musings LOL

 

thanks to anyone who had the time or interest to read this far.

 

let me know if you have any suggestions on dealing with any of the issues I've mentioned, I'd be happy to have more tools for my kit

 

;-)

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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Im sorry, but i dont think i have much advice to give you. Seems you are finding good ways to help yourself and got lot of experience with how to deal with your symptoms. i also find acceptance to be the hardest part, but i think it is very important. Mindfulness has helped me in some situation. I also use a lot of exercise to distract myself when akathisia is high. It has helped me a lot.

 

Best wishes!

 

Cip 

<p>Sept 2015: 5 mg Cipralex for 3 weeks. Lots of side effects. Reduced to 2.5 mg for 2 weeks. Experiencing withdrawal and side effects still after dose reduction. Quit after almost 4 weeks on 2.5 mg because of adverse effects. Experiencing withdrawal symptoms still. Reinstating 1mg after 3 weeks. Reduced to 0.50 after 2 days due to sensitive reaction (dysautonomia) and trip to ER. January 2016: After 14 months of tapering from 0.5 mg im now down to 0.08mg. Planing on one more drop before 4-8 weeks healing, then jump to zero. 14.03.17: Lexapro free!

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Hi Cat -

 

Curious (see what I did there?  :D ) - are you still using the glycine? If so, what does, when, and how is it doing for you?

 

SJ

Main thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14472-shakeyjerr-say-hello/

History: Prozac & Lithium from 1999 to 2003. Ended up back on after 4 months because taking a beta-blocker caused immediate depression (just 2 doses - turned out I didn't even need it; I had no other withdrawal symptoms - I might have ended up med and withdrawal-free otherwise :(). - Switched to Effexor (75mg 3/day) and Seroquel (50mg 3/day) in 2010. - Did a self-taper during 2016. - Developed Discontinuation Syndrome 02/17.

Supplements: Magnesium-Glycinate 400mg split into 4 100mg doses throughout the day. Vitamin C 500mg - once per day. Fish Oil 1360 mg (950 mg Active Omega-3) - twice per day.

I'm not a doctor. I use the internet, experience, and trial & error. Seek medical advice if necessary.

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  • Mentor

Im sorry, but i dont think i have much advice to give you. Seems you are finding good ways to help yourself and got lot of experience with how to deal with your symptoms. i also find acceptance to be the hardest part, but i think it is very important. Mindfulness has helped me in some situation. I also use a lot of exercise to distract myself when akathisia is high. It has helped me a lot.

 

Best wishes!

 

Cip 

 

thanks Cip

I guess I will just work on fine tuning my skills, heaven knows I need to do that. Acceptance is very hard for me some days.

Exercise I'm doing plenty of, so thankful for friends who like to go walking with me!

 

but I need more practice with mindfulness for sure

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment
  • Mentor

Hi Cat -

 

Curious (see what I did there?  :D ) - are you still using the glycine? If so, what does, when, and how is it doing for you?

 

SJ

 

heh, cute!!

 

yes I still use the glycine, but since I was concerned that maybe it had turned paradoxical for me, I skipped taking it one night but around 2 am, after some very restless sleep, I took one tablet and then took two later that morning.

My usual dose has been one tablet (1 gram each) in the morning and 2 at night.

I've been switching that up a bit lately, using one at night, one in the morning and then maybe, one mid day if I'm having a lot of anxiety. I also try to skip the morning dose if my anxiety level is pretty low that day.

I want to try using it as a PRN (as needed) It seems to kick in about an hour after I take it.

I have not tried taking any more than 3 grams per day, I've got so many bad experiences with large doses of things, I don't want to risk it.

 

I think it mostly helps with anxiety, and I *think* I sleep deeper when I take it. It does not seem to have any effect on how long I sleep.

so far, it's been the most helpful supplement for me. It seems to work better than the clonazapam I was given in the past, and never makes me feel groggy or drugged.

 

I think maybe it works so well for me because I don't eat much meat, and I think the main dietary source is meat. Let me check, ok:

 

"Plant-based sources include beans; vegetables like spinach, kale, cauliflower, cabbage and pumpkin; plus fruits like banana and kiwi. Other than bone broth, glycine can also be found in “complete sources of proteins” (animal proteins), including meat, dairy products, poultry, eggs and fish."

from: https://draxe.com/glycine/

 

I was on magnesium long before I went into WD so I can' t say for sure how that effects me. I have to take it for my heart, so I'm not likely to find out what happens if I dont' take the magnesium unless I run out and can't afford more.

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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  • Mentor

I made a decision that has greatly improved my outlook and my level of depression and anxiety:

 

I've been waiting and wishing to have 'my old self' back.

I realized that that is not possible.

 

I was on and off pysch meds from the age of 18. I was on SSRI's pretty much continually from 1996 to the present, over 20yrs.

 

My old self is #1 so much younger, a lot has changed over the decades LOL that person does not exist any more.

#2 my old self was probably not as happy as I think, it's most likely nostalgia and distorted memories that are making me think that I will feel 'at home' with myself if I get that old self back.

#3 I don't like change, and one thing SSRI's did, was put me into such a self involved fog, that I didn't even notice the things that have been changing all along. I was stuck in a routine that I repeated over and over again, in spite of the fact that it wasn't working out well for me. Now that I am waking up, I am seeing that there's so many other possibilities. It's scary and exciting all at the same time. I will refine my skills to deal with the scary parts, but oh my! exciting!! that never happened in my drugged state!

 

so, now that I've accepted (and am still working on fully accepting) that there really is no going back, I am having an easier time when I wake up and I don't feel like "myself" still.

 

I am trying to make friends with the new me, and find out what I like about her, and what I wish to change or work on, to be the person I want to be.

 

it's really interesting.

some days I don't like myself a lot, I am finding that I have a hard time dealing with differences of opinion, for example LOL

if someone doesn't think the same way that I do, it really upsets me in a way that seems a bit over the top... I don't know what to think about that, but it gives me something to work on.

 

I still have trouble making transitions, and I still have some memory loss- I will forget from one day to the next what happened.... it's like, without my old routine, I have to be much more observant of what is going on, and what needs to be done, appts and errands and what not.

 

but it keeps me busy and keeps my mind from slipping into any dark places. it's been raining and cool, and in the past, I'd be very upset about the weather and sort of depressed or at least, anxious and upset about it, now I just take it as it comes.

 

acceptance. it's really a huge part of this whole journey and probably a big part of life in general.

that, and gratitude

and being present in the moment, in a non judgemental way.

 

that's my morning musings hahaha

 

have a good day all! :)

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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Very interesting, Catnap. I feel stuck in this narrative as well, the story of how the medication has changed me in a negative way. But is this narrative really helpful in making my life better? I think challanging this pattern is important, and acceptance is the first step in a process of moving forward."You cannot step into the same river twice" Heraclitus. Its easier said than done tho. When the waves com crashing, it sure is hard to accept the situation. I think this is the hardest part in recovering from WD.  

 

<p>Sept 2015: 5 mg Cipralex for 3 weeks. Lots of side effects. Reduced to 2.5 mg for 2 weeks. Experiencing withdrawal and side effects still after dose reduction. Quit after almost 4 weeks on 2.5 mg because of adverse effects. Experiencing withdrawal symptoms still. Reinstating 1mg after 3 weeks. Reduced to 0.50 after 2 days due to sensitive reaction (dysautonomia) and trip to ER. January 2016: After 14 months of tapering from 0.5 mg im now down to 0.08mg. Planing on one more drop before 4-8 weeks healing, then jump to zero. 14.03.17: Lexapro free!

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And im really happy for you experiencing this realization! Just one of those really important moments in life  :D

 

Hugs!

<p>Sept 2015: 5 mg Cipralex for 3 weeks. Lots of side effects. Reduced to 2.5 mg for 2 weeks. Experiencing withdrawal and side effects still after dose reduction. Quit after almost 4 weeks on 2.5 mg because of adverse effects. Experiencing withdrawal symptoms still. Reinstating 1mg after 3 weeks. Reduced to 0.50 after 2 days due to sensitive reaction (dysautonomia) and trip to ER. January 2016: After 14 months of tapering from 0.5 mg im now down to 0.08mg. Planing on one more drop before 4-8 weeks healing, then jump to zero. 14.03.17: Lexapro free!

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  • Moderator

Congratulations H2H. That is a huge move forward and a major milestone in your recovery.

 

(((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))

 

Brass

 

Edited by ChessieCat
changed member name

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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if someone doesn't think the same way that I do, it really upsets me in a way that seems a bit over the top... I don't know what to think about that, but it gives me something to work on.

 

I'm also like this catnap I'm working on it myself

PB

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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  • Mentor

thanks so much for the support everyone

 

funny thing, I was looking for books about rats at the library a couple of days ago, and this one popped up called "Who moved my cheese?"

 

turns out it's not about rats, it's about CHANGE and how to anticipate and deal with it, how to not let the fear keep you from moving forward, etc

Such a timely discovery!

 

I know that having a daily routine can be a big help in managing your time, and getting things done, and I do miss my old routine, I've had a hard time making a new one, as I work around the WD symptoms

 

but I also need to keep an eye out to adapt to other changes and to be aware of when things are not working for me. Also need to accept that changes that I don't have control over are going to happen, and learn to not get so upset by them.

 

it's all a balancing act.

but acceptance goes a lot way toward getting rid of some of the roadblocks that keep you stuck.

 

this forum has been such a huge help to me, all of you, my dear fellow travelers, who've had the courage to share your journeys and how you dealt with the challenges along the way

I am so grateful to you all.

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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  • Moderator Emeritus

Yes a really good little book.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • Mentor

hi all, I've got a question about pain and WD

 

last summer, after I jumped off at 2.5mgs (then later reinstated to 0.3mg)

I had a lot of pain, but it was all over and came in obvious waves

 

I now have pain that is primarily on my right side,lower half of my body- except for the SI joint, that can be on both sides.

The pain seems to be bone pain or something other than muscle pain.

 

It's not constantly horrible, but it's always there in the background, and I'm wondering if I should do something that I now find very um, shall we say, distasteful?

and see a dr to find out what the cause of the pain is, so that I can do something about it. if possible.

 

I do have prior injuries to my right side, I was hit by a car when I was 18, my pelvis was broken in several places and is now deformed, I sustained injuries to my SI joint, my knee and also broke my tibia/fibula

I've sprained my ankle on that side badly several times as well, plus I was told that the trauma of the car hitting me, left my entire body messed up- one side of my rib cage is higher than the other, for example

 

so, there's old injuries, for sure, but the pain seems to be deep in my bones.

I think I understand why so many of us in WD end up with health anxiety- I think it's partly because we now have so much distrust of the medical profession (and rightly so) that we are worried that if we have a real problem that needs to be fixed, the medical establishment will either mis- treat us (I mean, give us the wrong treatment, not be mean to us hahaha) or they'll make things worse, or they won't know what to do... or a combination of all of those

 

I have had physical therapy in the past, but it's only been recommended when I had some kind of lack of mobility in a joint or muscle group. I am able to move normally, I just have pain, and exercise or the lack of exercise doesn't seem to make any difference.

 

I do have some celebrex- I used to take 200mgs of that each day, now I am taking only 100mgs of that as seldom as possible.

 

when I take it, I will bruise so easily, it scares me (read the black box warnings for these drugs, it's scary as h*ll)

I can't take tylenol so that doesn't leave me with many options (not going to take any thing stronger, like narcotics either lol, I have a paradoxical reaction to those anyway- at least I did in the past. dont' know if that's due to being on the psych meds or if I'll always have that reaction)

 

what would you do, if it were you?

I would like to be evaluated by a physical therapist again to see if there's something that can be done

I am also wondering if I have a stress fracture in my hip, I've had pain there since I took a 2 block run a few weeks to a month or so ago

 

I guess I just want to know, do I have to learn to live with the pain?

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment

Hi H2H- 

 

The pain could be related to your prior injuries since it is on the same right side.  I would say it is probable that it could be the actual past injuries causing the discomfort and not necessarily WD.  If I were you I would go to have that checked out so that I have that peace of mind.  And yes, I completely agree how WD makes us all hypochondriacs.  Just my two cents  :)

 

Hope you are doing well 

 

B.  

 

Edited by ChessieCat
changed member name

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
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  • Moderator

If it worries you, get it checked out.  That's always a good idea, but be aware that they will probably try to put you on more medication.  

 

Physical pain is a very common part of the tapering process.  We have many,many reports of it here.  It was a very big part of my taper, feet, legs, back, arms and hands.  It came and went with no seeming pattern.  I got some relief from aspirin, but not much else helped.  Each episode would ast several weeks and then clear up or change to another location.  As I slowly decreased my dose  the  episodes became less intense and less frequent.  Now that I' drug free I have very little problem with it. I did find that it would concentrate in areas that I had old injuries, particularly my hands and back.  Constant massage and stretching seemed to help along with heating pads.  For the most part it was one of those things that needed to be adapted to and lived through.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Mentor

Hi Catnapt - 

 

The pain could be related to your prior injuries since it is on the same right side.  I would say it is probable that it could be the actual past injuries causing the discomfort and not necessarily WD.  If I were you I would go to have that checked out so that I have that peace of mind.  And yes, I completely agree how WD makes us all hypochondriacs.  Just my two cents  :)

 

Hope you are doing well 

 

B.  

 

thanks Blondie

I am thinking it may be half and half- because there doesn't seem to be any obvious trigger, no activity that brings it on, and  having a day where I don't move around much doesn't change the amt of pain I have.

While there's a background level of pain most of the time, it only gets really bad in- well, frankly, waves :/

 

well this is not fun, hahahaha

but it does help keep me grounded in my body so for me, wiht my PTSD and dissociation, it's not a totally bad thing. Not that pain is ever fun, but it has a mild side benefit for me.

 

how are you doing B?

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment
  • Mentor

If it worries you, get it checked out.  That's always a good idea, but be aware that they will probably try to put you on more medication.  

 

Physical pain is a very common part of the tapering process.  We have many,many reports of it here.  It was a very big part of my taper, feet, legs, back, arms and hands.  It came and went with no seeming pattern.  I got some relief from aspirin, but not much else helped.  Each episode would ast several weeks and then clear up or change to another location.  As I slowly decreased my dose  the  episodes became less intense and less frequent.  Now that I' drug free I have very little problem with it. I did find that it would concentrate in areas that I had old injuries, particularly my hands and back.  Constant massage and stretching seemed to help along with heating pads.  For the most part it was one of those things that needed to be adapted to and lived through.

 

yes I know, drs will turn to pills first. For my spinal stenosis, they are all ready to give me spinal injections. Sorry, no, not yet. Maybe never, if yoga can help with stenosis (no clue if it can, but it's something I'm going to look into)

 

I have had pain in the past during WD and knew it was WD. No question in my mind.  I guess because most of my past symptoms, when they have returned, have been so much milder than before, I figured this was not WD pain. because it's not mild, it's pretty bad.

 

and it could be a combo of things, of course, so I think I will get it checked out just to know.

 

I'll see if aspirin helps, too, instead of the celebrex, which is apparently a very dangerous drug.

I think I may be able to get some lidocaine gel,

I had some before for my knees, can't recall how well it worked but it's worth a shot.

the pain is always the worst at night and is now making falling asleep difficult. This is new for me, since I have had no trouble falling asleep, just staying asleep. Now I've got both, oh joy. and I am back to sleeping fewer hours before I wake up and can't get back to sleep.

 

meh, this will end eventually. it's a PITA and  in a lot of other places too LOL but it will end.

 

that much I am sure of, so it makes it a lot easier to get thru it

 

 

thanks Brass, gotta hop on over to your thread and see how you are going ;-)

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment

Cat. My mum was told by doctors 40 years ago that she needed a back operation. Long story, short - she refused and did back exercises every night instead.The "cat "was one exercise where you arch your back upwards and then contract the other way. She has done that every night since then and is now 85 years old with no problems at all. I do think exercise is needed in our little toolkit of healing.

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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  • Moderator

With my fiancés sciatica, he uses bio freeze. It works really well. He sprays it on in the morning, and can do his job all day.

 

Might try that.

 

Feel better soon. :)

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

Link to comment
  • Mentor

Cat. My mum was told by doctors 40 years ago that she needed a back operation. Long story, short - she refused and did back exercises every night instead.The "cat "was one exercise where you arch your back upwards and then contract the other way. She has done that every night since then and is now 85 years old with no problems at all. I do think exercise is needed in our little toolkit of healing.

 

wow that's very encouraging AliG, and good for your mom for doing those exercises every night. I do the cat and cow, but not every night. I think there's more exercises and yoga poses that would help, but the mat yoga class I was going to ended and I haven't been able to find another one that within my price range.

I've tried you tube videos but have a hard time following them. I guess I'll try them again.

 

I just came back from a short walk and discovered that walking IS causing at least ONE of the various aches and pains I"m dealing with. I've got a bulging vein (vericose vein) in my right thigh that hurts like the dickens when I start walking. After I'm going for a bit it eases up but not a whole lot.

I think I might be able to get the vein closed off... They used to strip them but now they have new procedures to help with vericose veins. They seem to "run in the family"- my mom and her sisters had a terrible time with them too.

 

meh, I'll deal with it. It sure beats some of the other symptoms.

 

how are you going Ali? hope all is well.

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment
  • Mentor

With my fiancés sciatica, he uses bio freeze. It works really well. He sprays it on in the morning, and can do his job all day.

 

Might try that.

 

Feel better soon. :)

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

thanks Frogie, I'll have to look into that.

works all day, that's great!

 

how are you going?

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment
  • Moderator

 

With my fiancés sciatica, he uses bio freeze. It works really well. He sprays it on in the morning, and can do his job all day.

Might try that.

Feel better soon. :)

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

thanks Frogie, I'll have to look into that.

works all day, that's great!

 

how are you going?

Doing good.

 

Have had my granddaughter since Friday. I'm worn out.

 

She decided she wants to stay 1 more night, so I have to make the drive by myself again tomorrow, but we've had lots of fun.

 

Dollar stores twice, Shopko 3 times, swimming Friday, then night swimming from 7-9 last night, and since my fiancé is on city council, we had to go to the ribbon cutting of the new park. Hot dogs (which my stomach isn't used to), but I'm ok, lemonade and all the kids got ice cream, a frisbee, bubbles, tattoos, and sheriff badges. She had a lot of fun. She got me on a jumper thing, boy did I get a workout on my legs.

 

Today is laundry and hanging out. She spent all my money lol...

 

Hope you get better fast. Quit running????????????

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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  • Mentor

Frogie

so glad you're getting to spend time with your granddaughter, I remember how much you said you enjoy seeing her.

Heh, I guess being a grandma can take a lot out of you, eh? but I bet it's all a good kind of worn out. My sister says the same thing about spending time with her grandkids <3

 

haha, well I only ran for 2 blocks that ONE time oh, about a month ago or so? can't remember. but I'm taking it easy, just walking for now, and trying to remember not to cross my legs cuz that makes the veins worse. ;-)

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment

 

Cat. My mum was told by doctors 40 years ago that she needed a back operation. Long story, short - she refused and did back exercises every night instead.The "cat "was one exercise where you arch your back upwards and then contract the other way. She has done that every night since then and is now 85 years old with no problems at all. I do think exercise is needed in our little toolkit of healing.

 

wow that's very encouraging AliG, and good for your mom for doing those exercises every night. I do the cat and cow, but not every night. I think there's more exercises and yoga poses that would help, but the mat yoga class I was going to ended and I haven't been able to find another one that within my price range.

I've tried you tube videos but have a hard time following them. I guess I'll try them again.

 

I just came back from a short walk and discovered that walking IS causing at least ONE of the various aches and pains I"m dealing with. I've got a bulging vein (vericose vein) in my right thigh that hurts like the dickens when I start walking. After I'm going for a bit it eases up but not a whole lot.

I think I might be able to get the vein closed off... They used to strip them but now they have new procedures to help with vericose veins. They seem to "run in the family"- my mom and her sisters had a terrible time with them too.

 

meh, I'll deal with it. It sure beats some of the other symptoms.

 

how are you going Ali? hope all is well.

 

 

I'm going great, Cat.

 

With the yoga - even if you do the simple " Salutation To The Sun " each morning - it is enough. Have you tried that? 

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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  • Mentor

I'll have to look up how to do that sun salutation, Ali, it's not one I remember from the mat yoga class, thanks

 

I realized that I may have been dooming myself to poor sleep by repeating to myself and others, that I "can't sleep" during the day and that I "almost always wake up at 4am" and then have "a lot of trouble getting back to sleep".

 

this may be true for the past, but I think in trying to accept it, I've gone too far and now EXPECT it, and so it may have made it more or less self fulfilling (gah, don't mind me, the right words won't come, I'm still half asleep lol)

but you know what I mean, right?

so now I am telling myself that there's no reason why I can't sleep past 4 and there's no reason to think I cant' get back to sleep and that there's no reason I can't nap during the day if I need to.

 

I also decided to spread the glycine out- I take one at night, one if I wake up in the middle of the night, and the last one I take when I get up.

this seems to be working out well, and holding the anxiety level down to just short bursts of less than an hour, or the time it takes for the glycine to kick in

I"m reluctant to take more than the 3 pills though so I deal with any minor anxiety during the day in other ways. I am getting better at it....

it seems if I don't nip it in the bud, It will spiral out of control, so regardless of what else I may be doing, if I start to get anxious, I go straight to deep breathing and mindfulness and then try to work with staying positive, changing the channel, affirmations, or whatever else seems to best fit the situation

 

gah, this recovery can be a lot of work, eh? LOL

but it's all worth it to get to the other side, and these are def skills I'll need and will use for the rest of my life

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment
  • Mentor

interesting note, although I'm sleeping better (afraid to jinx it by saying so) I am having more emotional spirals, where a tiny bit of annoyance turns to anger very quickly.

In the past, I only had issues with anger when my insomnia was severe, at the very start of a too fast taper, when I was cutting down by 50% at a time.

 

I am trying to reduce the amnt of time spent with esp annoying people, but it seems that there's things that annoy me that I could not have anticipated.

 

I need to find better ways to deal with anger without saying  hurtful things.

 

any suggestions?

 

I need some way to extract myself from the conversation or the person, and if I can't get away from the person (for instance, in a vehicle) what do I say to get them to stop talking?

 

some of the ppl I spend time with know about my withdrawal, although only a tiny fraction really understand it. I think most of them would be respectful if I asked them to basically shut the h*ll up, but I need a much better way to say that, obviously!! LOL

 

I spend some time with someone else going thru WD  and this person has been a terrific support and has never done anything to upset me. This person also has excellent social skills that I hope will "rub off" on  me ;-)

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment
  • Mentor

ack dealing with some health anxiety- I had follow up blood work done because it keeps coming up with a high billirubin level and now they say, some high liver values, I don't know if that's new or what- I thought my liver values had been ok the past couple of years...?

 

so now the dr wants me to get an ultra sound of my liver (had one before some years back, showed I had a fatty liver, that's all) and wants me to see a hepatologist.  It's probably all fine, it's probably nothing but I'm a bit anxious about it all. wish I wasn't.

 

seeing the dr today for the bone and joint pain, will try to ask some coherent questions, assuming I can calm myself down enough.

 

:/

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment

Hi H2H,

It is probably nothing but better be safe than sorry .  Have you scheduled your ultra sound yet? I know SSRI messes up with liver but times .  My blood work last year showed some liver issues but nothing major .  

Good you are going to see a doctor for joint and bone pain .  Hopefully everything checks out okay and the doctor can recommend some physical therapy that will help with that .  When I get nervous going to the doctor I write my questions down and then read it to them .  That's what I did last time .  I was so freaked out I wrote like an essay lol 

even though this is frustrating and is making your nervous I think it is good you are taking preventative measures and going to check everything out .  

You will get through this step by step .  And we are here for the support ! 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
changed member name

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
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  • Moderator

Hi H2H:

My bilirubin and my liver levels are a bit high because I have a fatty liver. It was found through my ultrasound and CT scan last year.

Im sure you have nothing to worry about. :)

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

Edited by ChessieCat
changed member name

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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  • Moderator

My granddaughter can wear you out, but it's worth it. She made me laugh exercise that's for sure.

But worth it. I miss her already.

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

Edited by ChessieCat
removed quote after member name change

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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  • Mentor

NOTE TO SELF:

don't be an idiot!!

short version- two of my rats are on meds, they take tiny doses as they are tiny animals

 

I confused my dose of lexapro with the rat's dose of antibiotics and took 0.13mgs instead of 0.18 mgs

when I realized my mistake, because I'd been feeling so well and because another member had jumped off at 0.2mgs of lexapro,

I thought I'd try staying at 0.13mgs and see how that went.

 

Nope!

just no!

 

I need to stop trying to push the taper faster, any time things are going well.

I'll get there, eventually.

 

I had a rough couple of days, today seems better so far, knock on wood-

so yeh

no more being stupid!!

 

will update the other stuff later, it's basically no news-good news.

 

HOLDING at 0.18 til JULY 1st

(if I have any sense at all- hmm, where have I said that before? :P)

 

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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  • Mentor

ps I was only on the 0.13mgs dose for 2 days

 

the increase in symptoms was hit the second day and lasted into the next day, even when I went back up to 0.18

 

when will I ever learn?

 

I get this idea that I'm super woman or something and can just rush thru the end of the taper and be fine

 

I've been on SSRIs for around 20yrs total (3 different ones)

I'm lucky I'm doing as well as I am, considering the history of previous CTs and fast tapers, sheesh,

I gotta ease up!

 

(talking to myself, trying to talk some sense into myself, hahaha)

 

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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Please be careful. I think you have probably been feeling well because of the HOLD, not the cut. After a mistake like that, it would be a good idea to hold a bit longer.

 

   

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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  • Mentor
1 hour ago, AliG said:

Please be careful. I think you have probably been feeling well because of the HOLD, not the cut. After a mistake like that, it would be a good idea to hold a bit longer.

 

   

 

you mean hold even past July 1st?

I think you're right.


I have this split brain thinking sometimes- I know that I'm super sensitive to tiny amounts, but then on the other hand, I know I've CT other drugs with little or no problems in the past (distant past!) and I know of ppl who came off the same drug at a much higher dose than I'm at now,

so I think, why not go for it?

 

and now I know why not!! :/

 

I'd love to just wake up and not have to think about WD, you know?

but I guess we all want that!!

 

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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