success ☼ Happy2Heal: Hope I'm doing this right

[Happy2Heal]

On 6/26/2017 at 9:12 AM, ShakeyJerr said:

 

Let's start calling it recovery. The positive spin is helpful!

 

 

This happens to all of us in recovery. Everything is indeed filtered through that lens. But again, a vocabulary/thinking change can be helpful here. Instead of "I am doing these things/thinking this way because of withdrawal" think instead "I am doing things to improve my health, and it really is paying off!"

 

 

Let's go with this being a coincidence. Everybody sleeps in a bad position once in awhile.

 

 

This is a victory! It is a very productive shift in thinking. No more seeking the "magic bullet!" Instead, you are moving forward with a life strategy.

 

How does this sleep pattern compare to before you were on the meds? How about to when you were on the meds but not yet tapering?

 

 

Hooray!!!

 

SJ

 

 

I loved this post so much SJ!!
yes, it's RECOVERY!!

good reframing job there

 

I need to learn how to do this more. I struggle with it at times, but you've given me some good ideas.

thanks

 

regarding my sleeping pattern- I've been on psych drugs for far too long to even be able to recall how I slept before the drugs. Been on SSRi's for over 20yrs and before that various combos including haldol (for 6 mos at age 21, CTed off it) ithium, depakote, lamictal, ambien, klonopin, zyprexa, seroquel and many short trials of drugs like risperdal, lyrica, geodon, prozac, and others I don't even remember, it was so long ago.

 

when I went on the lexapro, I think I might have had trouble sleeping or trouble with anxiety, because I was given sleep meds and then klonopin...

but in more recent years, I was sleeping a LOT, would just fall asleep if I sat still long enough. I have NO Idea why that happened.
I have never had insomnia like this before in my entire life, as I recall I was always able to sleep well except for a few short periods of extreme stress like when I was leaving an abusive husband, etc

 

so yeh, these drugs do a lot of damage. I wish I'd known that before I took them.....

 

but who knew?? they were never tested for long before they went to market and then no one seemed to care what they might be doing to us long term. Too much money being made on this stuff :/

 

but I warn every one who will listen about these drugs, so if I have my way, the drug companies will eventually stop profiting off our suffering. Some day..... we can only hope and dream right??

 

[Happy2Heal]

quick update

12 days now that are more good than bad....

still not "myself", still very much in recovery but this is a good long stretch of GOOD and I'm so grateful for it

 

[ShakeyJerr]

11 minutes ago, Happy2Heal said:

quick update

12 days now that are more good than bad....

still not "myself", still very much in recovery but this is a good long stretch of GOOD and I'm so grateful for it

 

 

Awesome! This gives me hope!

 

SJ

[Happy2Heal]

2 hours ago, ShakeyJerr said:

 

Awesome! This gives me hope!

 

SJ

 

I surely hope that this gives a LOT of people hope, as you can see from my signature, I've got a very long history of psych meds and over 20yrs on just the SSRIs

 

so if someone with as long a history as mine can begin to recover, it makes me personally feel a lot of hope for any one who may not have quite as long as these evil chemicals.

 

I am praying for you SJ and for everyone else too

I hope that twizzler doesn't give you any trouble!
I ate a sweet pastry the other day, so not on my diet but I was ok....

whew

 

[Happy2Heal]

quick update and a question:

 

I'm on a long run of good days (mostly good, very few symptoms and the ones I have are short-lived and manageable and mild)

 

except that the past two mornings I've had been quite light headed bordering on dizzy but not quite... more like slightly off balance

 

I have not changed anything- no change in dose of lexapro nor lamitcal, however the light headedness starts roughly an hour after taking my morning meds (I take the lexapro and lamictal in the morning)

 

I haven't tapered since May 31st.
I am wondering if this light headedness means that maybe I should try to taper a bit now........and if so, which med?? the lexapro or the lamictal?
 

the off balance/light headed feeling is what I experienced when I first started the lamictal (did not have it as a side effect of lexapro) so that makes me think I need to go down in the lamictal,,,,,,,,,,???

 

 

 

Or maybe this is a new WD symptom?

 

[ShakeyJerr]

13 minutes ago, Happy2Heal said:

however the light headedness starts roughly an hour after taking my morning meds

 

Do you have one of those home blood pressure cuffs? You might be getting a slight drop in bp, given the timing.

 

SJ

[Happy2Heal]

1 hour ago, ShakeyJerr said:

 

Do you have one of those home blood pressure cuffs? You might be getting a slight drop in bp, given the timing.

 

SJ

 

 

no, I don't... I get my BP checked by the Parish nurse twice a week but it's been pretty good, I've not had any really low readings since May.

 

In spite of pretty decent days, I haven't had much improvement in my nights- sleep is still very broken and I don't feel like I get enough sleep, pretty much ever. Since last Sept, I have had two nights when I got a total of 7 hrs sleep. Pretty sure that was it. Maybe one other time, but for the sake of discussion, it's pretty rare.

For most of this time, since last Sept, I've gotten mostly 2 to 4 hrs, 5 if I'm very lucky, and it's always very broken, lots of waking up and getting something to drink or going to the bathroom or stripping off soaking wet night clothes and changing into something else, or moving from the sofa to my bed, or back... and I don't go back to sleep easily.

 

so, yes, I'm pretty tired all the time.

Maybe it's just catching up to me......?

I have not been able to nap during the day. I've tried several times and more often than not, it ends up making me feel worse. Something about laying down seems to signal my brain to give me a jolt of adrenaline or something to keep me from getting too relaxed.

of all the symptoms, that's my least favorite. I dream about the day when I can lay down, either at night or any other time, and just easily and peacefully drift off to sleep.

 

that's something I just took for granted before, but not any more! It will be pure heaven when that ability returns. And I know it will, it's just waiting it out......

 

I'm learning to be patient. I guess that's the only way to learn, when you really don't have any other choice :/

 

heh.

 

[ShakeyJerr]

42 minutes ago, Happy2Heal said:

I have not been able to nap during the day. I've tried several times and more often than not, it ends up making me feel worse. Something about laying down seems to signal my brain to give me a jolt of adrenaline or something to keep me from getting too relaxed.

 

This appears to be very common during recovery. "Cortisol" has become a curse word in my family.

 

44 minutes ago, Happy2Heal said:

I dream about the day when I can lay down, either at night or any other time, and just easily and peacefully drift off to sleep.

 

Amen to that!

 

SJ

[Happy2Heal]

thanks for your continuing support SJ, I appreciate it so much.

some of your posts have made me cry, not in a bad way but in a good one- partly because I am so touched that you take the time to really listen and respond in such a caring way, partly because I know that you are going thru *H E double hockey sticks* yourself, which makes me appreciate the time and trouble you go to for me, even more, and also because a lot of what you say is just so sensible, positive and so very helpful.

 

you are doing so much to help others here.

 

[Happy2Heal]

just an update to keep a record:

yesterday I had awful diarrhea (sorry TMI) all day- started with nausea and a stomach ache in the morning, felt better as the day went on.

Woke up today with more nausea, heartburn and diarrhea.

This is probably related to what I've been eating... going from eating fatty foods to try to re gain some weight, to probably too many veggies and fruits all at once.....

I still have no appetite in the morning, regardless of how much or  how little I ate the day before.

 

it's very strange but it's been this way thru out all of withdrawal   recovery, I mean so I"m not concerned. Just trying to keep track so maybe I can see what else could possibly be contributing to it.

 

Also feel lightheaded and off balance about an hour or so after morning meds...

I am wondering if I'm taking too much magnesium?? I do an epsom salt soak in the morning and take 125mgs of mag taurate in the AM and PM (that's the recommendation on the bottle and I think it's what the a-fib forum recommends as well)

I was under the impression that you couldn't get too much magnesium from an epsom salt soak but maybe I am... maybe that's contributing to the diarrhea, I don't know.

I'll skip the soak tomorrow and see how it goes.

 

 

[ShakeyJerr]

1 hour ago, Happy2Heal said:

thanks for your continuing support SJ, I appreciate it so much.

some of your posts have made me cry, not in a bad way but in a good one- partly because I am so touched that you take the time to really listen and respond in such a caring way, partly because I know that you are going thru *H E double hockey sticks* yourself, which makes me appreciate the time and trouble you go to for me, even more, and also because a lot of what you say is just so sensible, positive and so very helpful.

 

you are doing so much to help others here.

 

 

[brassmonkey]

Hi  H2H-- Sorry to hear that you're having stomach distress the past few days.  No fun at all.  It's very possible to get too much of a good thing with magnesium.  If taker internally. like with tablets and liquids it can cause the symptoms you're talking about.  If taken externally through soaks and oils it will cause an increase in anxiety and panic if you get too much.  This is sounding more like common WD type stomach issues of a stomach bug and should clear up given a little time.  Cutting down on the soaks might help and is always worth a try.  Maybe instead of cutting out the soak, just reduce the amount of salts used.

 

Hope you feel better soon.  

[Frogie]

4 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

just an update to keep a record:

yesterday I had awful diarrhea (sorry TMI) all day- started with nausea and a stomach ache in the morning, felt better as the day went on.

Woke up today with more nausea, heartburn and diarrhea.

This is probably related to what I've been eating... going from eating fatty foods to try to re gain some weight, to probably too many veggies and fruits all at once.....

I still have no appetite in the morning, regardless of how much or  how little I ate the day before.

 

it's very strange but it's been this way thru out all of withdrawal   recovery, I mean so I"m not concerned. Just trying to keep track so maybe I can see what else could possibly be contributing to it.

 

Also feel lightheaded and off balance about an hour or so after morning meds...

I am wondering if I'm taking too much magnesium?? I do an epsom salt soak in the morning and take 125mgs of mag taurate in the AM and PM (that's the recommendation on the bottle and I think it's what the a-fib forum recommends as well)

I was under the impression that you couldn't get too much magnesium from an epsom salt soak but maybe I am... maybe that's contributing to the diarrhea, I don't know.

I'll skip the soak tomorrow and see how it goes.

 

 

Hope you feel better soon. 

 

I answered you on my thread if you get time to read it.

 

I stopped taking magnesium and I wasn't nauseous until everything happened all at once to me. Maybe that's it like Brassmonkey says. Might try cutting it back.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Happy2Heal]

7 hours ago, brassmonkey said:

Hi  H2H-- Sorry to hear that you're having stomach distress the past few days.  No fun at all.  It's very possible to get too much of a good thing with magnesium.  If taker internally. like with tablets and liquids it can cause the symptoms you're talking about.  If taken externally through soaks and oils it will cause an increase in anxiety and panic if you get too much.  This is sounding more like common WD type stomach issues of a stomach bug and should clear up given a little time.  Cutting down on the soaks might help and is always worth a try.  Maybe instead of cutting out the soak, just reduce the amount of salts used.

 

Hope you feel better soon.  

 

 

thanks Tom,
I just learned that one of the things I have eaten daily for the past couple of days has been recalled because of concerns over salmonella & listeria

well ain't that swell LOL

[Frogie]

24 minutes ago, Happy2Heal said:

 

 

thanks Tom,
I just learned that one of the things I have eaten daily for the past couple of days has been recalled because of concerns over salmonella & listeria

well ain't that swell LOL

What were you eating that has been recalled for salmonella & listeria?

 

I'm sure you are fine. You would be sicker than you are if you had that I would think.

 

Feel better soon

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Happy2Heal]

stomach pain is finally gone and the diarrhea is slowing down a bit... I still can't eat anything without it going right thru me, but the time between eating and needing the bathroom is getting a bit longer. It's an improvement

I woke up many times last night, very thirsty and realized I was probably a bit dehydrated and should have been drinking more during the day.

 

another day, another chance to screw something else up, hahaha

[rupa]

Hi H2H,

How are you?Hope your health improved today.

[Hibari]

Glad your stomach issues are clearing up. 

 

I find the medications very dehydrating and cause me to be very thirsty during the night and day.  I thought it would stop when I jumped off Remeron but Lamictal is also giving me dry mouth.

 

I wanted to also say I too have been lighted headed and off balance.  I have read that that's a side effect of Lamictal wd.   Like you, I haven't made any cuts recently but maybe small fluctuations in the medication cause it.  I also think, only my opinion, that as we heal, our nervous system fights the drug. 

[PatriciaVP]

Hi H2H - Hope your stomach issues are calming down and you feel much better today.

[Happy2Heal]

3 hours ago, PatriciaVP said:

Hi H2H - Hope your stomach issues are calming down and you feel much better today.

 

 

yes they cleared up over the weekend, I'm fairly sure it was a mild case of "food poisoning" from something I ate on the 4th of July

I realized later that the stomach upset and light-headedness over lapped and were probably caused by the same thing.

 

I've had a couple of really decent days. I'm very happy with that!

 

 

 

[Dan998]

It's a sorry state of affairs when we're glad that we have an actual illness instead of WD. 

 

Anyway, glad you're on the mend and thanks for posting on my thread.

[scallywag]

H2Heal:  The video, a sleeping meditation, that you've posted elsewhere on the site would be a great addition to the sleep topic. Please feel free to add it!

 

Tips to help sleep.

[Happy2Heal]

21 hours ago, scallywag said:

H2Heal:  The video, a sleeping meditation, that you've posted elsewhere on the site would be a great addition to the sleep topic. Please feel free to add it!

 

Tips to help sleep.

 

done!
 

Just a quick update, I've now accumulated 3 full weeks of mostly good days. I have had some minutes to a few hours of anxiety, mostly situational, and some periods of other but mild symptoms, such as difficulty concentrating and remembering, but those things don't upset me like the anxiety and other emotional symptoms do.

 

I am seeing some small improvements in my sleep... The less I stress about it, the better it gets, so that is one reason I don't mention it here.

I want to keep the focus on improvements.

and well, now it is improving.

I am able to get back to sleep a bit faster now, and I seldom have any cortisol spike or racing heart when I wake up.

 

I've read many times that healing is not a linear process, but I have to say, that for ME , at least, it has been linear (knock wood!) in that while I certainly have waves of symptoms, I have not once gone back to an earlier stage of recovery, when symptoms were severe.

 

The overall trend has always been toward healing and improvement. My baseline, I guess, has steadily gotten better. I am very encouraged by this.

 

there are some things that will almost always bring on a wave of symptoms and these are the things I try to avoid:

 

**watching TV (mostly any tv at all now)

**negative or pessimistic people or ppl who constantly  complain!!

**loud noises or crowds or anywhere that there's a lot of confusion- sometimes crowds are ok, but only if they are all enjoying something, like a concert or something like that

**extremes of temperature (not 100% avoidable of course, but I try to limit my time in places that are too hot or too cold)

**reading SA threads of ppl who are going thru a rough time- as much as I'd like to help, sometimes it triggers symptoms for me, and so I will instead read success stories and come back to more difficult threads when, and if, I am feeling stronger. Even then, it helps to limit how much I read!!

 

 

I also notice that low pressure systems make me feel dizzy, off balance and sometimes anxious- but as it turns out, I learned in yoga, low barometric pressure has this affect on MOST ppl.

it can just feel a bit worse when you're in recovery, I guess

 

I have made more big changes to my life, but I no longer fear these changes,I am welcoming them. It is still sometimes uncomfortable adjusting to the changes, but it's a necessary part of life, one that I avoided somehow, all those years of being over medicated.

Now I am learning that I can adjust; that change is not a tragic event, it's normal and natural and most often a good thing.

I used to cling to old routines and ways of doing things that were not working for me but that were familiar and felt safe, somehow

But that was an illusion, a drug induced fantasy.

Now I am learning that I am able to adapt to changing circumstances and that I can initiate changes on my own behalf, that will make my life better.

 

it's a lot of learning, and sometimes I feel like a very old dog trying to learn new tricks HAHAHA but I"m not that old (61) and I've got a half decent mind, so I can do it!

 

 

[ShakeyJerr]

This is all very awesome news! Way to go!

 

SJ

[Hibari]

On 7/12/2017 at 8:54 AM, Happy2Heal said:

 

done!
 

Just a quick update, I've now accumulated 3 full weeks of mostly good days. I have had some minutes to a few hours of anxiety, mostly situational, and some periods of other but mild symptoms, such as difficulty concentrating and remembering, but those things don't upset me like the anxiety and other emotional symptoms do.

 

I am seeing some small improvements in my sleep... The less I stress about it, the better it gets, so that is one reason I don't mention it here.

I want to keep the focus on improvements.

and well, now it is improving.

I am able to get back to sleep a bit faster now, and I seldom have any cortisol spike or racing heart when I wake up.

 

I've read many times that healing is not a linear process, but I have to say, that for ME , at least, it has been linear (knock wood!) in that while I certainly have waves of symptoms, I have not once gone back to an earlier stage of recovery, when symptoms were severe.

 

The overall trend has always been toward healing and improvement. My baseline, I guess, has steadily gotten better. I am very encouraged by this.

 

there are some things that will almost always bring on a wave of symptoms and these are the things I try to avoid:

 

**watching TV (mostly any tv at all now)

**negative or pessimistic people or ppl who constantly  complain!!

**loud noises or crowds or anywhere that there's a lot of confusion- sometimes crowds are ok, but only if they are all enjoying something, like a concert or something like that

**extremes of temperature (not 100% avoidable of course, but I try to limit my time in places that are too hot or too cold)

**reading SA threads of ppl who are going thru a rough time- as much as I'd like to help, sometimes it triggers symptoms for me, and so I will instead read success stories and come back to more difficult threads when, and if, I am feeling stronger. Even then, it helps to limit how much I read!!

 

 

I also notice that low pressure systems make me feel dizzy, off balance and sometimes anxious- but as it turns out, I learned in yoga, low barometric pressure has this affect on MOST ppl.

it can just feel a bit worse when you're in recovery, I guess

 

I have made more big changes to my life, but I no longer fear these changes,I am welcoming them. It is still sometimes uncomfortable adjusting to the changes, but it's a necessary part of life, one that I avoided somehow, all those years of being over medicated.

Now I am learning that I can adjust; that change is not a tragic event, it's normal and natural and most often a good thing.

I used to cling to old routines and ways of doing things that were not working for me but that were familiar and felt safe, somehow

But that was an illusion, a drug induced fantasy.

Now I am learning that I am able to adapt to changing circumstances and that I can initiate changes on my own behalf, that will make my life better.

 

it's a lot of learning, and sometimes I feel like a very old dog trying to learn new tricks HAHAHA but I"m not that old (61) and I've got a half decent mind, so I can do it!

 

 

This is all good news to read.  I relate to much of your list on what you avoid.    I too have found that who I spend time with and for how long is a big deal.  I now avoid negative people who I used to feel obliged to listen to.  What  relief to let them go.

 

I also like what you wrote about making changes.  I too have been in state of drug induced fear about life and doing different things.  That is now changing and I know it's medication related.  The more stable I feel off Remeron, the more confident I feel.

 

H2H said "The overall trend has always been toward healing and improvement. My baseline, I guess, has steadily gotten better. I am very encouraged by this".

Yes, appreciating the small changes that add up to noticing that things are changing.  

 

So glad to hear you are doing well. 

[Happy2Heal]

6 minutes ago, Hibari said:

This is all good news to read.  I relate to much of your list on what you avoid.    I too have found that who I spend time with and for how long is a big deal.  I now avoid negative people who I used to feel obliged to listen to.  What  relief to let them go.

 

I also like what you wrote about making changes.  I too have been in state of drug induced fear about life and doing different things.  That is now changing and I know it's medication related.  The more stable I feel off Remeron, the more confident I feel.

 

H2H said "The overall trend has always been toward healing and improvement. My baseline, I guess, has steadily gotten better. I am very encouraged by this".

Yes, appreciating the small changes that add up to noticing that things are changing.  

 

So glad to hear you are doing well. 

 

 

thanks, Hibari

 

yes It's a huge relief to let the negative ppl go!! and to feel like we have more control over things. It does help boost your confidence as well.

 

 

I guess I got a little too lax in my diet, I realize today- I am in a funk, down and exhausted, almost no sleep last night, and my blood pressure is way up.

I had been feeling so good that I got careless with diet, eating too much fat, sodium and sugar, esp the past week.

 

it's interesting that I did not feel the effects of each wrong food at the time I ate it but only now have an accumulated "crash" so to speak, from these things.

It makes me think of how you can make changes with meds and/or supplements and not feel the effects til some time has passed.

 

i am going back to writing down what I eat-  I don't want to feel like this again any time soon!
it's not really bad, mind you, just fatigue and a very down mood. but I think it could have been avoided if I'd been watching what I was eating more

I had too many sugary snacks at the SR Center and too many high sodium, high fat foods too.

 

bad combo for a person in recovery.

 

 

[Altostrata]

Good to see how well you're taking care of yourself, H2H.

[peng]

That was such bad luck about the food-poisoning episode, H2H.

Doesn't fate realise we don't need this stuff?!  Ha! Ha!

I felt cheesed off the 1st 3 months of this year when I had sinusitis that took all that time and 3 antibiotics to shift.

Anyway, these are both history, hopefully, and we carry on carrying on, yes?

 

Best wishes.

[Happy2Heal]

6 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Good to see how well you're taking care of yourself, H2H.

 

thanks so much Alto

[Happy2Heal]

2 hours ago, peng said:

That was such bad luck about the food-poisoning episode, H2H.

Doesn't fate realise we don't need this stuff?!  Ha! Ha!

I felt cheesed off the 1st 3 months of this year when I had sinusitis that took all that time and 3 antibiotics to shift.

Anyway, these are both history, hopefully, and we carry on carrying on, yes?

 

Best wishes.

thank you Peng

sinusitis, ick! and 3 antibiotics, more ick!! how did you manage all that? did it bring on more waves?

 

I seem to have recovered from the bad food and the sleepless night.

 

I was able to turn things around last night, went to bed as soon as I felt tired, and managed to accumulate enough good hours of sleep in short naps to feel more like myself this morning.

WHEW!

 

WOW, it's just incredible how careful I have to be, how sensitive my nervous system still is!!

I thought it was healthy to relax and let up a bit on things, to not be so super aware of everything I do that might affect my symptoms-  you know, to basically live with less fear....

but it was too easy for me to lose track of how far off my diet I went.

I am still basically eating well but I added in too many "treats".

I do think I'm now able to have a treat maybe once or twice a week, and be ok with that, but it had gradually become more like 4 or 5 times a week, and that's too much.

 

Back on track today!! it's a new day, and it's nice and cool, so I hope to get some active stuff done.

our "dog days" of summer are coming up, and I tend not to want to move around too much when it's really hot and humid.

I must find cool places to go to exercise, because my body does need at least a half hour, usually more like an hour, of walking or something similar.
Without it, I risk getting those cortisol spikes in the morning.

 

I am going to be getting together with a friend to do yoga together, as my budget doesn't allow for me to continue with the class at this time.

 

so that should be fun.

 

 

[Happy2Heal]

only one rough day out of the past 23 days- and the good days continue to get better  YAY

 

mornings are still a bit rough, I don't sleep as well or as much as I'd like to, but as long as i get in a bit of exercise, I sleep well ENOUGH to be ok most of the time.

 

I can honestly say that if I were to be stuck at this level of recovery, where I am now, I would be ok with that. Not thrilled, mind you, I'd still love to be able to sleep better and not have any bad feelings in the morning, but they are so brief, and most nights are not horrible, so overall, I could stay like this and be ok with it.

 

I am starting to feel more "in control" of my life, and less like avoiding symptoms dictates what I do and when. I still have to stick to a good routine, healthy food and all that but I am not so fearful all the time of having symptoms crop up.

 

I did slide down a wee bit in my dose of lexapro since May 31st and am now at 0.16 but plan to stay at this dose for a long time, as I'm coming up soon on what are often rough times for me.  I have trauma related issues that cause me problems from late August into Feb or beyond... with the worst times being Nov. to Jan.  I've always had to be careful during those times to avoid a deep depression, and since symptoms from a drop in dose could be delayed, I just don't want to risk rocking the boat at all. so I am staying at 0.16 and not adjusting the lamictal unless I get symptoms that tell me I need to.

 

So, I may not be around here much (or I may be around just as much LOL every time I say I'll be away, I do the opposite, so who knows LOL)

but if I don't post much, assume that things are going along well and that I"m just busy living life and enjoying it. For a change!

I still have ripples of waves, but I look at them as just normal ups and downs of life now. It helps to do that, so I don't get fearful of an increase in symptoms. It just really helps to re-frame things and to be careful how you label things, as many of you, like SJ and others, have learned.
Don't call it withdrawal, as SJ says, call it recovery. 

Put a positive spin on things and it will train you to look more and more for the good and focus less on the not so good.

 

it really is a good practice for "life in general".

 

it's certainly not going to hurt us in any way to try to stay hopeful, upbeat and positive. 

 

I am so grateful to everyone here who has helped me thru these difficult times. Someone just popping in to say Hi was a lifesaver to me on those really awful days. Just knowing that we are not alone in this, it's such a big help

 

 

 

[brassmonkey]

Hi H2H-- It looks like you've had a nice improvement in your WDnormal baseline.  This should be the new norm for a while, until you notice that things have improved again.

 

(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

[direstraits]

Hi, Happy

 

this is so inspiring to read!

 

very happy for you....hope it just gets better and better for you.

 

best wishes,ds

[Happy2Heal]

thanks Brassmonkey and direstraits

 

 

well, into every life a bad day must fall, I guess LOL

crappy day- my brain refused to work this morning, causing me anxiety and embarrassment

 

feeling anxiety off and on and absolutely no motivation to do anything when I'm home (I try to be out as much as I can, because I feel a lot better when I'm around other ppl most of the time)

 

now I'm crabby and tired and just want to sleep but it's way too early to go to bed (only 7pm)

too tired to do anything, too

 

tomorrow is another day, right?

 

at least this day is NOT nearly as bad as  my days even just a few months ago, so for that I am grateful but still very crabby about having a bad day, hahahaha

 

hey, being positive is easy on a good day, right? when I can be positive on a BAD day, *then* I will know that I've truly arrived at acceptance

 

 

not there yet, heh.

 

 

[Happy2Heal]

heh, I amuse myself

 

in the category of "be careful what you wish for".... I wanted to sleep.

 

well, I did sleep. Usually It's hard to tell, because there's so little difference between being awake and being asleep- it just "happens'.

but I know i slept some last night, because I had a terrible nightmare. Woke up anxious, thinking the dream was real.

Still a bit anxious but I know I can shake it off in time.

 

life is funny like this, sometimes.

What you believe you want and "need" may turn out to be not all that great, hahaha

 

I am still working on acceptance.

 

Found a book called "Loving what is: Four Questions that can change your life" and ordered a used copy off amazon- I hope it arrives quickly, it looks like it may be a big help to me. I know that a lot of my thoughts  are causing me problems now, and not really my symptoms.

 

For example, I rarely have any physical symptoms of anxiety. Sometimes I do (esp at night and early mornings), but its' more often a mental kind of anxiety, a "thought" anxiety. I don't know if this is recovery related or not, but does it matter, really? I need to find a way to work on my thoughts, regardless of the cause  ;-)

 

I've already started to do some of that work, as there is  some stuff online by the author.

If you are interested you can  check it out here:

 http://thework.com/sites/thework/downloads/little_book/English_LB.pdf

 

and here:

http://thework.com/en/do-work

 

have a great day everyone.

 

[miT]

Good insights h2h, you gotta know your enemy. Observe your thoughts. At times (definitely when being anxious) your mind just wants to pull you down. 

 

Here's my tip: observe the energy in your body, feel the pain. Do NOT transpose the energy to your mind in the form of repetitive negative thought processes. When you stop doing that you are rewiring your own brain for the better. You have a "use it or lose it" brain, so eventually the negative thought paths will lose strength and will eventually be replaced.