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TeaBea

Support for spouses of SSRIs - a safe place to vent

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mylifeisback

hurtspouse that is another hard part of this crap, they do not stop as soon as we find out because it takes a while for the drug to wear off. It's not bad enough what we find out but they still continue.

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hurtspouse

That's exactly it mylifeisback, I really didn't think it would go on this long after the pills. But they are all different I guess. I just feel so sad at the moment. His own brain is causing him to humiliate himself. When he gets his mind back again he will have enough to deal with, without more humiliation. I'm so worried about him. But more so for my 5 year old. She refused to go to school this morning. She's normally the best behaved and sweetest little girl. I'm so worried about how this is effecting her. She said she doesn't want her daddy to collect her from school later and take her to her nans. She wants him to bring her home so we can all be together ????

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mylifeisback

I am thankful that my youngest child was 16 and not home all of the time, he had a girlfriend and she kept him busy. But I can also say that he put my son through h... My husband put us through a lot and he will never know how much damage that he did because he doesn't remember (or so he says) sometimes I just do not know what to do, I am not who I used to be and life surely is not the same.

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hurtspouse

I agree, I feel that I'm forever changed. I bumped into his mother today and she told me if I want to get back together with him, then I'd have to stop bringing it all up! (She's emotionally blunted I think as she's tapered her Prozac from 60 to 20mg) I said I need to have a talk and lay our cards on the table and then move on. I certainly won't be dredging this misery up again! But it won't just be on his (or her) terms. If he doesn't want to talk then I won't be able to get over this. I need him to fight for us for a change. And I need some sort of closure from It all. How have you been anyway mylifeisback? Are you coping better?

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Suzq

Does anyone have suggestions on how to encourage a partner to start tapering? I've tried to broach the subject and discuss the negative emotional and other side effects of taking SSRIs with him many times but like most conversations I try to start with him he just shuts down or gets angry. He doesn't want to hear about it. In his mind this is still a 'wonder drug'.

 

I feel like going to see his GP and tell him everything that is going on and get them to help but im not sure the GP will support it anyway and if my partner found out I had done this I'm sure it would make things worse as he would take it as me interfering for my own gain not as me trying to help him.

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hurtspouse

Hi suzq. I'm afraid that I can't offer any good advice. I tried for years to get my SO to taper off his pills. But he just got angry and called me controlling. It was only when I found out about the dating sites etc, that he realised that something was very wrong. I didn't relate his behaviour to the pills at first and was screaming at him like I never have before. And I'm ashamed to say that I hit him in my hurt and anger. It was his decision to get off the ad's in the end though. And he did the tapering 'his' way as well (too fast, from 20mg to 0 in three months). Stubborn man!

 

In hindsight I wish I had sought help from someone else who could have spoken to him. i think they are more likely to listen to other people as they tend to see us as the enemy. Have you shown him the stories on here?

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mylifeisback

That is definitely what they think (that we are the enemy) that is one of the hard things about these situations.They rebel with anything we say or do.

hurtspouse I am trying to overcome, I have decided to get myself back I have gained a lot of weight so now I am on a diet and ordered some exercise equipment I am excited about getting healthy again.

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hurtspouse

That's great news mylifeisback! Good luck with the diet. I've just been to my bank to arrange a business loan, as I'm feeling ready to push on. Exciting/scary stuff! It feels good to do something for me :-)

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Konjo

Suzq, I convinced my ex to tapper by showing her lot info about physical side effects of SSRI.

She didn't want to hear about any psychological side effects at all.

She was quite obsessed with her health and all bad physical stuff convinced her. I made a list with all stuff that happened to her like dry mouth, constipation, joint pain, easy bruising etc. and told her that this medicine causing that. I also showed some other serious side-efffects and told her that she should check herself for them because it could  occur in near future. 

 

BTW. Worst thing happened during withdrawal (first year of it) and we are no longer married. Last Summer she married somebody else (after handful of other relations after our break-up)

 

But I'm feeling that I did everything to solve this awful situation.

 

Does anyone have suggestions on how to encourage a partner to start tapering? I've tried to broach the subject and discuss the negative emotional and other side effects of taking SSRIs with him many times but like most conversations I try to start with him he just shuts down or gets angry. He doesn't want to hear about it. In his mind this is still a 'wonder drug'.

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mylifeisback

Someday I would like to sit down and put on paper the whole experience of what my husband and I have been through from the beginning to the end. We are still in the going through stage but hopefully almost to the end. This is like no other thing I have been through. I believe I am some better but have a long way to go. I want to reach out and help others.

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mylifeisback

We go through things in life that are natural. This is not natural this is people making drugs that they know nothing about and they put it on the market for doctors to push. This is like an out of the body experience one that is hard to explain howhy and what is happening.

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TeaBea

I agree, mylifeisback.  People in serious relationships need to know of these drugs' potential damage.  Just before I learned it was a "drug" issue causing our marital decline, I had joined a relationship forum.  There were lots of stories there where I wondered if one of the partners might be on meds.  After finding out about our Effexor issue, I would often PM a few of them to ask if their wayward spouse was on SSRIs.  I did find a couple where they said ADs were involved; I hope letting them know how these drugs can destroy relationships helped somehow.  One woman I corresponded with briefly wants to write a book about it--I told her about this forum, but I haven't seen her join yet.  If she doesn't write one, I've been thinking of compiling something.  I've been mulling it over about how to even start......  

 

One thing I'd love to champion is to get doctors to get the Significant Others involved BEFORE a med of this type is prescribed for anything less than a mental, emotional emergency so that they can be informed and told to watch out for out-of-the ordinary behavioral changes (if I'd been told that, I would've questioned in that first year instead of 8 long years later).  I've had a neighbor recently be put on Effexor because she complained about hot flashes and her husband was complaining about her being overly irritable.  My husband tried to talk to her about it, but she didn't seem to care.  She's one of the types who totally accepts the notion that doctors know best.  She went to the ER 2 or 3 times because of "something" that she only later correlated to a 2-day miss of her Effexor meds when she let her pills run out each time.  Another friend has noticed that she's less mentally "there" since going on Effexor (just over a year).  

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btdt

Hello everyone,  lovely thread.  I wish you all well.  In my case I was on effexor, yep end of a near 30 year marriage.   I go through the grief of it every day.    I have been off effexor 3 years, off zoloft 18 months, and as the brain comes back, the old real personality, life is so hard, but I do not blame myself, I blame the effexor.                  So forgive your partners, too late for my partner now, he has moved on.            If you cant live with them, separated, but give them three years if they get off the stuff, the old person does return.

 

As for the drinking, yes, that is ADs nasty little partner, drinking, and blackouts.            Of course the psychs etc, blame the drinking, because they didnt presecribe that one!  They never blame their horrible mind bender pills.   The pills cause suicides.     As for me, I am still going through the grief of loss stage.      Life goes on, a lot wiser.

I picked up on the blackouts as there was once a science article about this but it has gone 404  it was posted fully on sites that are now closed down .. so I took a look around ...found this interesting..

 

"Actually, alcohol is not contraindicated with Effexor but patients taking this medication are recommended to avoid or limit their alcohol intake to light-to-moderate amounts.

Source: Effexor and Alcohol (Venaflaxine) - Drugsdb.com http://www.drugsdb.com/rx/effexor/effexor-and-alcohol/#ixzz3zGFpwxyx

 

followed by this other site

 

 

 
 
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Failure to Warn about SSRIs & Alcohol
  1. 11-26-2004, 01:47 PM#1
    Join Date Nov 2004 Location USA. Posts 16
    icon1.png Failure to Warn about SSRIs & Alcohol

     This is my first message, but an important topic. 

     

    As a criminal defense attorney, I see hundreds of clients annually who obtain medications from their physician for anxiety, sleep disorders or depression, yet are not warned to consume NO ALCOHOL when taking these medications. The synergistic effects caused by combining ANY amount of alcohol and these drugs can be devastating for the patient who is surprised to find himself or herself in jail for DUI-DWI, or even vehicular homicide. Blackout, seizures or major amnesia episodes are common. Effexor is currently involved with three of my clients, with others using various common SSRIs and benzodiazepines.

     

    See my recent article that was published in the DWI Journal, warning attorneys to be aware of this phenomenon. A safe practice for physicians would be to warn every patient not to drink alcohol while on these medications. You should draw up a written acknowledgement for any patient being given these medications indicating that the patient has been told to consume NO ALCOHOL while taking these medications. Have each patient sign the ackowledgement.

     

    The article can be found at either of these two sites:

     

     

    William C. Head

    Attorney at Law

    DUIMAVEN

    Last edited by ddcmod3; 10-20-2015 at 09:28 PM.

    two sites he mentions are not linked but there is quite a discussion that follows 

There were no links listed with the page even though he says there are... wonder where they went

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hurtspouse

Someday I would like to sit down and put on paper the whole experience of what my husband and I have been through from the beginning to the end. We are still in the going through stage but hopefully almost to the end. This is like no other thing I have been through. I believe I am some better but have a long way to go. I want to reach out and help others.

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hurtspouse

Mylifeisback, if you have the urge to write it all down I say go for it! It will probably be very therapeutic to you and once it is all down on paper, perhaps you will be able to move forward

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TeaBea

"Actually, alcohol is not contraindicated with Effexor but patients taking this medication are recommended to avoid or limit their alcohol intake to light-to-moderate amounts.

 

 

Source: Effexor and Alcohol (Venaflaxine) - Drugsdb.com http://www.drugsdb.com/rx/effexor/effexor-and-alcohol/#ixzz3zGFpwxyx

 

 

I've seen both those before in my search for answers for my husband's drinking and issues.  It's easy to say "avoid alcohol" as long as the  @*^#$ Effexor is not causing the COMPULSION TO DRINK!  

 

In the 20 yrs of marriage PRIOR to the start of Effexor, my husband had NO trouble keeping to moderate drinking.  I even made sure he asked his psychiatrist if drinking was okay on Effexor, and he said it was fine to have a "few" drinks.  Of course, I'm sure my husband didn't tell him he had a few most every day (2-3 beers), but I bet you anything that wouldn't have made a difference in the doc's response because it doesn't seem most recognize (then or even now) that SSRIs can CAUSE alcoholism.  Heck, from what I've read, it can cause it in people who didn't previously like alcohol--that's the BIG eye-opener to me about it.  So, of course someone who already likes to drink...... what then?

 

I know my husband never told his psych. about his increased drinking because he didn't think it was an issue, but after about 6 months on the med (getting up to full dose), he was now averaging 9-10 beers a day (WAY up from 2-3).  Of course, NOW we know that he kept drinking more and more for 2 "reasons":  1) the compulsion to START drinking for the day, and 2) he could no longer tell when he was getting buzzed.  That's BIG!  Imagine not being able to tell when you start feeling the effect?  You think you're okay, so you grab another beer....and another....and another.  We fought almost EVERY day about his being drunk, but HE didn't think he was drunk because he couldn't feel it, but I could see it and experience is from him (the telltale signs, duh).  The scariest was his business dinners, full of wining and dining.  He'd come home totally buzzed, and I'd really get mad.  Sober, he'd abhor this behavior, but he didn't experience himself as buzzed because he couldn't feel it, so he just kept having another.....  I did a lot of praying on those nights he was out for dinner.  

 

It took us until spring 2013 for the big event of his worst drunk ever and he kept asking me "how did it happen?" while in the ER for it.  That's when I started researching..... I wanted him to tell his psych. about it at his next appt. 2 weeks out, and he did--but by that time, though, his Effexor'd brain had decided he'd just fainted.  I'm lucky I found some forum discussion about the very way he feels (or rather, LACK of) while drinking and read it to him, and he agreed to come off the med.  It wasn't until he was over 50% off it that he could look back and see that he'd had a problem with alcohol.  He knows now how very lucky he was during that scary time.  He says he can now "feel" alcohol again.  Even if he still drinks more than he used to, pre-Effexor, it's no where near what it has been, AND now he can tell what's going on.  No small victory.

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btdt

") he could no longer tell when he was getting buzzed.  That's BIG!  Imagine not being able to tell when you start feeling the effect? "

 

There is a lack of consciousness when your on Effexor awareness goes away that is my first thought the second is how do you know when your stones when your stoned before you start drinking... can't judge a thing.  Like him it took me years to wake up and for him to clue into anything while still on the drug is amazing to me.. I did the cold turkey thing not by choice a doc took me off and I could not go back on when the other drugs failed me too... since then lots of drugs fail... that he is recovering is amazing that he tapered is amazing that he heard of taper before he quit is ... again amazing... and the thanks for that can  be to people who run places like this site I was 8 months into cold turkey before I found a wd site to tell my symptoms were wd not some deadly disease nobody could treat or find... 

 

Tell people your story cause out there some place is some poor soul who is in tolerance or wd and does not know to taper... it could have been worse. 

 

I wish you peace

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TeaBea

btdt-- when I found the info about drinking that resonated with him, somehow I guess he sensed that he needed off the med.  It was either that or me telling him I couldn't continue on with him just getting worse and worse.  The idea of 25 more years of "this" (like it was, and getting worse) was unfathomable.  I was in a deep depression by then myself but hate doctors so I never go, or I'm sure I'd have been offered meds.  LUCKILY, in all my researching for the drinking/Effexor connection, I came across this site (and you!).  I had all this info before his taper.  And you don't know how incredibly grateful I am.

 

When he told his psych. he wanted off the med at his next appt, she suggested he wait awhile until he had his new job under control, so he was leary of starting the taper.  I told him that a PSYCHIATRIST supposedly knew best and got him on the med, but he was listening to ME about coming off it.  He poo-poohed my suggestion of super slow until he got about halfway off and started having issues.  I knew he was only going to get ONE chance to get off "easily"--that if it got botched, his new job might be in jeopardy and then who knows what kind of mess and meds he'd have to get into.  He really didn't want me to tell him the horror stories I'd read because he didn't want the seed planted in his head, so I told him just enough.  He put me in total control of his withdrawal.  We waited a few months like the doc suggested, then started his withdrawal in August 2013.  He's now at half the lowest dose capsule (approx. 17 mg).  We actually got down to 14 mg but his anxiety was so great at that drop (just ONE freakin measly little "bead")--several panic attacks a week that we went back up to 20 and started again, even slower.  

 

Even though I was bringing him down slowly, he wanted to hurry down to that lowest dose pill and I let him because I was tired of counting out beads.  It was only about a 15% drop (had been doing 8-10% at that time) to get him to that 37.5 mg capsule, but it was a doozy.  He drank too much, too quickly, on an empty stomach about 4 days after the drop.  He came in the door, and I could tell he wasn't right.  He sat down in a chair and closed his eyes.  I kept trying to rouse him.  When he opened his eyes about 5 mins later, he said "wow, all the sudden I'm just here."  I guess there was a blackout period for him?  Then he said what sent chills throughout my body--"I don't want to scare you, but I think it would be a good idea if you hid the guns."  He wouldn't talk anymore about it; he didn't want to scare me any more than he already had.  

 

We stabilized him at that dose for several months then began again with 5% drops until he hit 20 mg, and now it's the approx. 1 mg / 1 bead at a time.  

 

He's never visited this or any other website (he's not into "forums" for anything).  He doesn't want to have to think about it because he says he has enough to worry about at work.  I wish he would take some personal responsibility for it because I feel overwhelmed with it sometimes.  Only he knows what's truly going on in his mind.  I know there are times he won't tell me the truth if he thinks it'll scare me too much.  He might could taper a bit quicker if he would take over and monitor his mental health, etc.  But one thing I knew way before Effexor--he's not much into introspection.  He doesn't want to look too deeply inside himself because of all the bad childhood stuff he keeps suppressed.  Every once in awhile I come across a post that sounds like him, and I'll forward it to him, but who knows if he reads it or not.  I think if it were just him, he'd have stayed on the med simply because it kept him from caring about all his old, hidden hurts and fears, but now being able to see that he had a serious drinking problem while doped up on it, he knows that things would've gotten worse for him.  

 

The mind is a mysterious thing.  Scary, too.  I'm still scared of what lies ahead with the next 17 mgs yet to go.  

 

Peace to you, too!

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Suzq

Thanks Hurtspouse & Konjo for your suggestions.

He's not ready to read any threads on here yet but I've had a small positive breakthrough as at least he's listening now when I explain that the night sweats, restless leg syndrome, muscle aches & fatigue are probably caused by the meds.

I've managed to convince him to take regular magnesium supplements for the restless leg syndrome & high level vitamin B supplements for the fatigue & to give him a boost on the 'low' days. I had already been trying to get him to take theses supplements with no luck but I told him I went to a naturopath who suggested that he take supplements & he listened.

Maybe if he picks up a little bit with better sleep (better sleep for me too) and more energy then I can try talking with him again about tapering.

Has anyone else had experience with restless leg syndrome? I call it that as I don't know what else to call the repetitive clenching & jerking that happens when he's fast asleep.

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TeaBea

"Has anyone else had experience with restless leg syndrome? I call it that as I don't know what else to call the repetitive clenching & jerking that happens when he's fast asleep."

 

Suzq:  OMG, that was the worst for ME!  I'm a light sleeper, but I managed to cope with his LOUD snoring that eventually turned into severe sleep apnea while on Effexor (a sleep study said 110+ episodes PER HOUR!) with sound machines (white noise) turned up high, ear plugs screwed deeply into my ears, and a pillow over my head, but the JERKING LEG SYNDROME chased me out of our king-sized bed!!!  

 

 

He would jerk, kick, and "scramble" around seemingly all night, like he was a kick boxer in a dream or something.  I couldn't sleep with him for a few years because of the constant bed shaking (I am a light sleeper).  Heck, if we'd have had a standard sized bed, I'd have been black and blue from his kicks.  I had NO idea this was a side effect of the med until he started his taper, and within the first few drops, the RLS simply vanished, never to return!!!  Peace returned to the bed, then add the Cpap machine after he'd dropped down enough on the Effexor to care about himself and let me make him a sleep study appt., and we now have still and quiet at night.  Such an amazing difference.  

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Suzq

Definitely sounds like a side effect of the SSRIs then TeaBea. Did your partner twitch randomly or were the ticks often complex & repetitive and you could count down the same number to when he twitched again?

I find than if he's taking magnesium supplements he has less RLS.

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btdt

I think most people in wd have rls and or ticks it is very common epson salt baths might help and search this site you will find much advice about it. 

peace

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TeaBea

Suzq-- You know, I don't remember about patterns of repetition, I just remember it seemed ALL night long (let's say he'd go to bed by 10 pm, and at 2:00 am (if I lasted in our bed that long), he'd still be in motion.  He would also "scratch" the bed with one hand, using his fingernails, when he'd sleep on his side or stomach.  The worst nights were when he'd be drinking close to bedtime, so like most things he did that were "abnormal", I blamed the alcohol, but one night after he'd been sick all day and actually didn't drink (to my knowledge), he still had RLS, so there went that theory.  

 

It wasn't this site, and I don't remember where it was, but one woman whose husband was on Effexor also had RLS.  He did go to the doctor about it and he got prescribed a med for it (some kind of seizure med? don't remember exactly) AND another med to help him sleep.  So now, here's this guy who's getting messed up by Effexor and now with TWO more meds to deal with.  I could probably find her story if I look in my emails because I was always copying and sending stuff to myself about anything SSRI and/or alcohol.  Just sickens me--someone Rx'd Effexor for something that probably wasn't necessary (like mine) then has to keep adding drugs to combat the side effects because either they're not seen as side effects or because the doc doesn't want to try and get him off the Effexor, so let's "manage" it.  

 

My husband takes Magnesium Malate each day.  When he takes it at night, he says he feels he gets a better sleep.  Epsom salt baths are soothing in addition to the Magnesium sulfate of it that gets absorbed into the skin.  Something called "Natural Calm" is a powder  Mg you mix into a drink that is also relaxing, but you have to start off low and build to bowel tolerance (lol, ask me how I know).

 

Can your husband reduce his Effexor dose at all?  I don't recall fully (been 2 yrs), but it wasn't too much of a decrease in it that my husband's RLS vanished.  

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mylifeisback

This truly has been the fight of my life.

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btdt

I am off effexor now years ok I will count... can't do it in my head... 

8 years and 4 months 

 

I still get jerks not often but I get them... I don't notice restless legs so much but I have one leg that is not working right same one that was dragging when the neurologist said I needed to stop effexor... lately it has been a  bugger with hurting behind my knee and other just not wanting to work properly issues. 

 

what is the difference between malic mag and citrate do you know?

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TeaBea

What's going on right now, mylifeisback?  I guess you're still struggling about wanting to stay in the marriage?  How's your husband's mental state?  Can he talk about it yet?  

 

Btdt:  Here's the difference in the types of magnesium.....

 

Magnesium citrate: A commonly used form that has a good bioavailability compared to oxide. It is also very rapidly absorbed in the digestive tract but it does have a stool loosening effect.1 This form is found in many supplements and remains a solid option for delivering magnesium into the body.

 

Magnesium malate:This less well-known combination has been studied for use in fibromyalgia. Since malate is a substrate in the cellular energy cycle, it can help improve ATP production; there is some preliminary evidence that it may reduce muscle pain and tender points in fibromyalgia patients.

 

Magnesium aspartate helps with fatigue, and magnesium glycinate for calming and relaxing.  

 

​Magnesium oxide is poorly absorbed with laxative effects (Milk of Magnesia).

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mylifeisback

I am having such a hard time again. I do not understand or believe that when you love someone as much as my husband loves me how do you cheat on them? How can a medication from a doctor do this? I can't take the pain anymore.

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TeaBea

I'm sorry, MLisB....I got busy with taxes (and life) and forgot I'd asked you how things were going and just didn't check in.  When things are going good and the med / withdrawal isn't causing any issues, one tends to try and forget all this stuff.  

 

How are you now?  

 

I don't know the answer to your question.  Only you can figure out if you can deal with the memory of it all or not.  All I know is that what did happen is NOT happening right now.  It happened while he was "medicated", with his NORMAL goodwill / good intentions stripped from him by the fact that the drug lowered his ability to care about right/wrong.  Even if he could say "yes, I knew it was wrong", his next likely statement would be "but I couldn't seem to care".  Just like any drunk having fun at a party, his inhibitions were stripped.  Except that on the med, he wasn't "drunk" acting--and therefore seemed like he was still a functioning good husband--BUT, his inhibitions were as compromised as if he had been intoxicated.  

 

If he's returned to his normal "morals", he IS being a good husband....now.  So, again, it just goes to your own mindset at this point.  Forgive and move on (and let him off the hook) OR keep it in the forefront and dwell on it and keep on making yourself miserable about it.  

 

I read this somewhere (paraphrased):  it's not so much an event that makes us unhappy, BUT rather it's our thoughts about that event that make us unhappy.  

 

Can you get help just for yourself?

 

It's been a nice, even few months for us because my husband hasn't had a step-down in the med since right before Christmas.  He had a huge, stressful project at work that he needed to be totally alert and focused on for a few months, and he couldn't afford any mess-ups.  It will be wrapping up in the next month or so, then I would like for him to be able to enjoy a less stress-filled time before starting the roller-coaster of withdrawal again.  It's been nice not to have much irritability coming from him because I have no more patience for him.  I've dealt with, 1st, the way he was ON the med for 8+ years, then 2nd, the way the withdrawal made him.  Luckily in the middle of the w/d, the "old" self started returning, so that ameliorated a bit of his withdrawal crap for me.  

 

I do know that a loong discussion is coming for us.  He won't be happy about it, but I have to be able to get a ton of crap off my chest or I think I'll burst.  I've held on as long as I can for him to get to a steady place in his own life/mind, but the longer I go, the worse my depression gets.  Right now, I basically take care of daily stuff and anything else just seems to overwhelm me.  I know if I let myself tell someone (doctor), the first thing they'd suggest is meds, but after knowing what all I've read and witnessed first-hand, there's no way I'll go down that road.  Too risky.  

 

Anyway, hope things are better for everyone.

T

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btdt

I am having such a hard time again. I do not understand or believe that when you love someone as much as my husband loves me how do you cheat on them? How can a medication from a doctor do this? I can't take the pain anymore.

I have watched other struggle with this it seems for a time they do well then it comes back this is the process I suspect. I wish it was not this way but it seems to be maybe part of the problem is how unknown this all seems to be if the doctor said to you yes that was a drug reaction or even that it were possible maybe it would be less hard to believe... as part of this on and off issue could be lack of belief.  

here is a link that may be helpful

http://grahamhancock.com/phorum/read.php?3,6This is a most interesting research contemplating the similarities between symptoms of schizophrenia or schizophrenic psychosis and SSRI-AntiDepressant induced perception changes, altered states of consciousness, disturbed sense of reality and out of character behaviour in severe cases. As a direct result from the actions of the SSRI-AntiDepressant (disruption of the natural serotonin cycle), serotonin levels in the Pineal Gland76342,676397"

 

maybe seeing it in print will help. 

I had altered states of consciousness and have recently found what I wrote about it years ago but can't figure out how to post it... as I can't open the file in a way I can copy it (computer illiterate) I also had an extreme personality change... acted very out of character.  I did not have a spouse at the time but when I read stories on this topic I am a 100% believer. 

 

I keep hoping for more work on Helen Fisher I check every now and then to see if she has done a follow up but she seems to have deviated from the path just now maybe some day she will do more work on this. She is worth keeping an eye on. 

I wish you peace

"

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kaydb

Did any of your spouses stop taking SSRI's? How long were they on them originally? How long did it take them to return to their "normal" self?

 

I'm so scared my husband isn't going to be the same. He was only on Prozac for 3 months. Currently it's been almost 2 weeks since his last dose. Just playing the waiting game now. His doctor told us that it takes about a month to be completely out of his system. But I'm wondering after that, does his brain need more time to heal?  

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Konjo

Did any of your spouses stop taking SSRI's? How long were they on them originally? How long did it take them to return to their "normal" self?

 

I'm so scared my husband isn't going to be the same. He was only on Prozac for 3 months. Currently it's been almost 2 weeks since his last dose. Just playing the waiting game now. His doctor told us that it takes about a month to be completely out of his system. But I'm wondering after that, does his brain need more time to heal?  

 

 

My ex wife's last dose of escitalopram was mid April 2013. She had some windows that year but changes seems to be  permanent. Last year she got married.

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kaydb

My ex wife's last dose of escitalopram was mid April 2013. She had some windows that year but changes seems to be permanent. Last year she got married.

How long was she on it?

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hurtspouse

Hi kaydb. My partner took his last dose of Paxil almost 16 months ago. He was on 20mg for 4 years. From what I read everyone's experience is different. He is still not completely himself as he still goes through waves and Windows. He is more loving towards me and the children again most days, but he still shows no remorse for the way he treated us while on meds.(I caught him on dating websites and texting and emailing numerous women inappropriately). When he was a teenager (only about 16) he felt such guilt over kissing a girl behind his (then) girlfriends back, that he felt it was best to end the relationship, that's how strongly he felt about any sort of cheating. But we just keep plodding along while we wait for his brain to heal. I'm just scared that after I've been hanging in there for so long, that he will feel it best to end our relationship eventually and all my waiting will have been for nothing. Because I know he will eventually realise what he did. I still worry about when that time comes. I'm terrified that now I have started to move on, that he might confess more things to me.

 

How long was your partner in meds for?

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kaydb

Hurtspouse, he was only on meds for 3 months.

 

I can't even imagine how waiting that long much feel. You are strong!

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mylifeisback

Minebwas on for 5vyears and off now for 4 years and he is still messed up

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