Roxyrich: adverse reaction to prozac

[Roxyrich]

It's my sleep that's the killer, to be jerked awake all night just gives me no time to relax . I've had practically had a few broken hours of sleep in 5 days. 

[Colonial]

 

I remember those days of only 2 hours of sleep a night for 6 weeks straight.  It's a living hell. 

I tell people:  "Take the worse flu you've ever had, TRIPLE it, and anxiety, insomnia, and only 2 hours of sleep on top of it..."

A normal flu or illness, you can at least sleep eventually, or sometimes even more than normal.

 

Now we all know why "chemical weapons" should be banned, because this is what happens to you.

 

How is the weather right now?  Are you able to get outside of the apartment for a change of scenery?

 

[Plshelp]

53 minutes ago, Roxyrich said:

I too believe in God, and an afterlife, but I

Wouldn't take any action lightly. I'm just so desperate right now, time has stood still. 

I can relate. 

I'm so desperate, I'm seeing the doctor right now. 

Idk what to do. Go to the hospital and get them to test me and medicate me to the ****? 

I have no idea what to do anymore. 

My circadian rhythm is totally screwed up and my perception of time is altered, I can't feel my bodily sensations, plus so much more. Cognitively I'm barely functioning. I have no emotions, motivation or thoughts in my head. 

Living like this is ******* bullsh*t. I can't do this anymore and I'm too apathetic to commit suicide. I'm trapped in a paralyzed body and brain. This isn't fun anymore. I've been off medication for 3 months, but all these things developed while I was on medications. Nothing is changing and I can barely function and get thru the day. 

[Roxyrich]

I walk a lot of the day, because I can't concentrate on the TV. But I'm in distress most of the day, and suicidal thoughts are constant. 

[Roxyrich]

Moderator note: +Moved from "Help for desperate or suicidal"  PLEASE keep your personal posting in your personal introduction thread.

 

I am currently sick from work, this is my second go at this .

I had a reaction to prozac 6 pills, 2 years ago. it took 11 months of waves and windows to start feeling better. 

In that time my girlfriend of 25 years left me with our dog roxy.

It broke my heart, and am still waiting to come to terms with it. 

After about 6 months back at work, I started getting symptoms again. 

They've got worse to the point where I'm right back at the beginning. 

Nobody can explain why I would be so bad again, because it makes no sense. 

I honestly don't know how to go on.

I feel so ill. 

Edited October 29, 2017 by JanCarol
clean up help thread.

[Terry4949]

On 20/10/2017 at 6:09 PM, Roxyrich said:

I am currently sick from work, this is my second go at this .

I had a reaction to prozac 6 pills, 2 years ago. it took 11 months of waves and windows to start feeling better. 

In that time my girlfriend of 25 years left me with our dog roxy.

It broke my heart, and am still waiting to come to terms with it. 

After about 6 months back at work, I started getting symptoms again. 

They've got worse to the point where I'm right back at the beginning. 

Nobody can explain why I would be so bad again, because it makes no sense. 

I honestly don't know how to go on.

I feel so ill. 

I had a bad spell 12 months ago which was like how I am now , then 8 months ago all meds were stopped , I have been suffering so bad since , yet getting through the day , even managed to work a little , but now I have never been so bad , how do you live with this deep depression and sickness , I can’t do anything even eat ,I have no motivation no will no desire to carry on living , I used to get a break in the evenings but now it’s with me all day , 

 

 

Moderator note:  +Moved from "Help for Desperate or Suicidal".  PLEASE keep personal conversations in personal introduction threads.

Edited October 29, 2017 by JanCarol
clean up help thread

[Colonial]

I try to find ways to concentrate on anything other than the symptoms.

So as not to form a repetitive thought pattern and pro lounge the wave.

Harder on days when your "bed ridden" for most of it from the "paxil flu" but at least the computer helps.

1 hour at a time.

 

[Roxyrich]

It just seems to take forever for the day to pass.and my symptoms are so strong, it's impossible to ignore them.

I'm sorry to be so negative, just so scared of tomorrow. 

[Roxyrich]

Moderator note: +Moved from "Help for desperate or suicidal"  PLEASE keep your personal posting in your personal introduction thread.

 

I can't believe in this day and age, science can't find anything to take the pain away. I guess as far as the brain is concerned, science can only see obvious damage. 

Edited October 29, 2017 by JanCarol
clean up help thread

[Colonial]

Don't be sorry for where you are, Brother..

That's why I'm here...

Its why we're all here..

 

I got as far as going over and putting a pumpkin on my Brothers fresh grave at the cemetary..

Not buried 2 weeks and the grass is growing nicely already..

 

Took everything out of me in only 90 minutes...

 

Is there something you have to do tomorrow, or is it just the generalized fear of the symptoms?

 

 

 

[Roxyrich]

Sorry for the loss of your brother colonial. 

[Roxyrich]

I live in fear of my symptoms. 

They start with early morning cortisol, then get worse as day goes on, but start settling down late afternoon. 

No sleep again last night, doesn't help either. 

[Colonial]

The early morning cortisol gives me nightmares right before I wake up... 

I do ok for a bit...rough afternoons..

Then better the last few hours of my day....

Although it's 3:30am and I'm still up too

 

[Roxyrich]

Sometimes if im up early hours I sit it out till 5.30 am then I get 2 hours of dreamy sleep. didn't work this morning. 

[Colonial]

 

yup...

 

[Roxyrich]

This afternoon, fatigue turned into a really strong depression. it's 7pm now and it's still there.

It's like a really dark dull ache , right at the center of my brain. 

Hope it lifts soon. 

If you don't mind me asking, how did your brother die colonial. 

[Colonial]

Well, after they took Him off the respirator, He died within a few hours....

He had had a heart attack a few days prior,  and had been in kidney failure..

But that was most likely brought on by a host of other chronic health issues..

 

Do you ever get the sensation that the inside front of your forehead is numb?

Like not the skin area it self, but actually a bit further in?

Like it's cold and numb at the same time?

I call it "Paxil head freeze"..

Like what you would get if you drank something too cold really fast..

Except its further inside the head, cold, but numb at the same time...

 

 

 

[Hellbutrin]

1 hour ago, Colonial said:

Well, after they took Him off the respirator, He died within a few hours....

He had had a heart attack a few days prior,  and had been in kidney failure..

But that was most likely brought on by a host of other chronic health issues..

 

Do you ever get the sensation that the inside front of your forehead is numb?

Like not the skin area it self, but actually a bit further in?

Like it's cold and numb at the same time?

I call it "Paxil head freeze"..

Like what you would get if you drank something too cold really fast..

Except its further inside the head, cold, but numb at the same time...

 

 

 

Hi Colonial,

 

I've had this feeling persistently since I started my taper. I'm wondering if the frontal lobe has a lot to do with emotional reactions and personality, because since I started my taper I've had this persistent dull ache in the frontal area of my head and I haven't felt like myself at all. I actually haven't felt totally like myself for almost two years since I started on Wellbutrin, and it feels like more than depersonalization and anhedonia, its almost like I lost a huge part of my personality from being on the drug. I can deal with the windows and waves part of depersonalization, but I really hope that the feelings of joy that I used to get out of life will return soon. I feel like I'm just walking through life without the ability to be totally engaged and genuinely interested in anything. It's so hard to explain to people how it feels unless you're talking to someone who has had a similar experience. I have seen some slight improvement in my depressive symptoms, but I haven't noticed any change in my ability to be interested in things like I used to be. Do you think that part of the recovery from withdrawal is learning to live with the changed person that we are now after going through the experience of withdrawal, or do we eventually get back to feeling like the person we were before we started the drugs only stronger because of the experience? I'd like to get back to feeling like the old me, but I'm starting to feel like that person might be altogether gone. I know from all of my research and all of the forums on SA that the brain is an incredibly resilient organ, and that it can go through a tremendous amount of trauma and manage to create new pathways to repair the damage that it has been through. But when these near pathways change in our brain I'm wondering if it has an influence over our personality and can change us into different people altogether. 

[Colonial]

 

I think the sensations are part of the healing process and actually a "good" sign!

 

I think it's that part of your brain coming back to life again.  Even if it "feels frozen", which is a seeming contradiction, I think it's a sign the endings in the frontal lobe are either growing back or coming out of stasis.

 

That's what these drugs are designed to do:  they are "chemical lobotomies" by "freezing", it seems, the parts of the brain that they are trying to control, which is the ones that are responsible for either feeling poorly, or "unsocial behavior"..

 

I got my sense of humor back about a year , 14 months, after not being drugged so high in the paxil.   When I'm not having physical syptoms I actually enjoy life again much more than when I was on the paxil.  That's the trade off, you don't  feel bad while your on them, you just don't feel ANYTHING.  You don't care one way or another.  Then as a result, you see how people get label a sociopath or someone who doesn't fit into society.  Because the meds deactivate the part of the brain that, in reality, make you a human being. 

 

So, yes, the loss of interest in life is part of the negative side effect of the drug, which, then, ironically, gets turned around and used as 'PROOF" your actually depressed and need to "STAY" medicated.  That's the evil genius of what these drug companies have done.  The meds designed to "treat" something give side effects that "mimic" other mental illnesses. 

 

I can't say for sure how long 2 years of wellbutrin use will take your brain to "bounce" back from, but I was only on it 6 months before I tried to get off it and I had a rough go of it.  However, I think your biggest issues were how fast you tapered, reinstated on an "over dose", and then re tapered too fast again.  

 

The good news is this was the ONLY drug that tampered you brain.  You may bounce back faster than someone who was poly drugged 5 or 6 times.  

 

You are only 11 weeks into being off the med.  In hindsight going completely off wasn't the best move considering you were on such a high dose for 2 years,  and keeping trace amounts could have prevented the worst of your symptoms, but what's done is done, and only time is gonna heal at this point. 

 

I know this seems like forever, but 11 weeks is too soon to be expecting major improvements.  Hopefully in the spring at the 6 month mark you should be doing better.

 

So if I can get my personality back after 20 years of paxil, that's a good sign.  As to whether we "become" different people because of the drug, I think that's up to us.  Many people can develop a sort of PTSD from the brutal process, but it's how you "choose" to go forward after any trauma, and only you can decide whether you will "allow" this to make you a better person ( more compassionate, etc) or a worse person (bitter, angry, etc).  

 

Edited October 22, 2017 by Colonial

[bheb]

How's your agitation doing today?

[Roxyrich]

Agitation has been replaced by fatigue, not sure which is worse , but when I've got one I pray for the other. 

Fatigue has been with me every day this week. 

If I'm lucky, it eases in the evening. 

Tinitus is so loud , a lot worse than back at the beginning. 

My soul is exhausted, I'm so scared, and quite frankly, suicidal most of the day. 

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow, I'm gonna ask to speak to a specialist. 

I'm getting to the stage where it's life or death. if it means going on something, I honestly don't think I'll make it by waiting. 

I know this site absolutely against this type of thing , but any advice is welcome. 

I've read on here and considered lamotrigine, low dose ,it all depends on the specialist. 

Just existing at the moment.

Sorry for some of my choice of words, I don't come here with intension of scaring anyone, it's still the only site with real world advice and support, and for that I am grateful. 

[Colonial]

You have to do what you must, Brother...

No one can estimate the intensity of suffering at any given time to judge another..

You have to stay alive first, Brother..

Otherwise what good does drug free do you if  you snap and your dead?

No one is your judge, Brother..

We love you..

 

 

[Roxyrich]

I'm going to properly research everything before pulling the trigger, pardon the pun. 

You've always shown me kindness and wisdom, I love you too.

 

[ChessieCat]

21 hours ago, Colonial said:

So if I can get my personality back after 20 years of paxil, that's a good sign.

 

For me, I've got my personality back after 25+ continuous years on an AD.

 

See this topic for what the various areas of the brain does:  What is Happening in Your Brain

[bheb]

I feel you rich. I've got a couple different modes of suffering through this and I always wish for the other when I'm in one. Also desperately searching for something to try though antidepressants wouldn't be a good solution for me since I've had an adverse reaction not wd. But yes let us know what you're considering 

[Roxyrich]

I too had an adverse reaction to prozac. 

But was on it previously, no problems. 

My thoughts are like this, after the initial reaction I was really bad , I mean a few hours sleep in the first 5 weeks.

Then small improvements, really small. 

Then I settled into a routine,and when bad waves came I was aware of what was happening , and fought through it.

Over 11 months this was my life , and then the next wave didn't come, but I always thought it would. 

I went back to work, and was fine for over 6 months. 

Then , and this is where it's different. 

I started getting attacks, that lasted a couple of days, and these attacks went on over 4 months, getting worse and worse, until I hit rock bottom again. 

It's been suggested that I stopped talking propranolol too quickly  , and maybe it's destabilised me again, but that's just a theory, what if there's something else that's caused it.

My point is, even right at the beginning of this, I actually had days with some relief, so I knew I could take a break from it at some point. 

Now my symptoms are just bad most of the day,  walking twice a day for about 2 to 3 hours ,to try and distract myself till after 5 pm where I can eat again and symptoms become a little more bearable. 

I have started talking propranolol again, which has helped with the anxiety, but after 2 weeks no real change , on average 3 days sleep per week and out of those 1 good night. 

My thinking is the damage from the prozac had healed , and this is different .so maybe a small dose of ad might help stablise me.

I know it's risky , but I'm desperate for relief. 

Any alternative theories are welcome. 

 

[Terry4949]

roxyrich , I know where you are coming from , our stories are so alike in our suffering , I have been thinking seriously of trying another med to help me just get some sort of stability ,, it’s a case of do I , or I will be dead , the lack of sleep and depression is killing me , the apathy is so bad , just have that awfull feeling all the time where I have no interest in anything , just can’t feel anything other than sadness , I fall asleep for 20 minutes at night and wake like someone has injected me with poison , my head mouth tongue all burn and it’s like acid flowing through my brain , my body burns all day , I can even taste a metal taste in my mouth all day , crippling fatigue , I also walk twice a day with my dogs and it makes me so sick just doing this when I get home I have to rest or I will faint , I know what your going through , I have had suicidal thoughts for 2 weeks now 

[bheb]

I also had an adverse reaction after being fine on Prozac for 1.5 years. It seems pretty rare and also confusing in itself and there aren't many explanations. Which also makes it tricky moving forward 

 

like you, i also had pockets of relief before I hit rock bottom again recently. My spiral is due to clonazepam withdrawal (which I was giving to combat Prozac induced akathisia and agitation). But I still wonder if there's anything I can do on the SSRI end since my symptoms feel exactly like they did when I first had my reaction.

 

i think sometimes the waves come and we can't explain them. And it might be the case for you. Which I know is the worst thing to hear. What you're going through still seems Prozac related to me, and not something new. But of course, no medical expertise here. Just my own experience of having a Prozac reaction last for a very long time.

 

im still very confused and distraught myself with the fact that an adverse reaction can last this long. The agitation is relentless and confusing to both me and my psychiatrist. Sorry I can't give more insight 

 

 

[Roxyrich]

I don't think anyone really knows how the brain really works. 

The only thing with waves was ,they did get smaller and easier ,and this is more like the original reaction, I actually had a good night last night, and didn't have the cortisol waking this morning. 

But head is aching and I feel poorly , like when you have a bad cold.

Like I said before, even if I'm prescribed something, I'll only take it if I have to.

I really do want to live, my life wasn't perfect ,but id love to have it back. 

[bheb]

2 minutes ago, Roxyrich said:

I really do want to live, my life wasn't perfect ,but id love to have it back.

 

Me too, me too. So badly. 

 

Im glad you had a decent evening and some improvement with the morning. Good signs.

 

4 minutes ago, Roxyrich said:

Like I said before, even if I'm prescribed something, I'll only take it if I have to.

For sure, do what you need to. Take care of yourself.

[Hellbutrin]

22 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

 

For me, I've got my personality back after 25+ continuous years on an AD.

 

See this topic for what the various areas of the brain does:  What is Happening in Your Brain

I know it is possible, and I have gotten to look into that link that you posted and it has some great information. I just wish there was a solid indicator for when I will start feeling like myself and seeing more of the old me emerge, but I know that it's different for everyone. How long into your withdrawal did it take before you started to feel like yourself again? It is encouraging to know that it has happened for you and you were taking them for a long time. 

[Roxyrich]

Has anyone tried walnuts , and did they help.

Internet says there good for the brain, omega 3 and other benefits, too scared to try them without some advice. 

[Colonial]

Walnuts are just a regular food and not a supplement so they shouldn't give an "interaction reaction" like a regular supplement.

 So unless you have a nut allergy I don't think it could hurt.

 

[Colonial]

 

PROZAC does seems to torment for a long time..

This is a 2 YEAR story..

 

https://rxisk.org/complex-withdrawal-model/#Protracted_withdrawal_syndrome

Case D — anxiety, anger, fog, tinnitus

I’m now two years off Prozac and I can’t believe how much Prozac’s affecting me still. I’m so used to having numb emotions and poor cognitive abilities now that I sometimes forget that this isn’t the real me. Now and then I have days when underneath my “drugged state” I can feel strong anxiety and anger “bubbling” inside of me because I know that my emotions and my view on life isn’t my own.

I have a constant annoying fog in my head, I have constant tinnitus and I have head pressure and headaches still that come and go.

I meet no friends any longer, I have no interest in boys and little interest in sex. All this is very unlike me. Even if I had bad days as well before Prozac happened, I then snapped out of my low mood pretty quickly if I met a friend or took a shower or something.

I can function normally in conversations, but I know that I’m not “in” the discussion. My mom asks me often how I can seem so content with the very uninteresting life that I have. I tell her that I know that in reality I’m not content with my life but that my emotions aren’t “real”. I also tell her I’m sort of “stuck in the moment” and unable to think of the future.

I’m starting to worry that I’ll have to live with this foggy, empty head for the rest of my life. This total lack of motivation and interest in anything (but food really, I still crave carbs in a insane way, and I’m still forty pounds heavier than pre-Prozac), is making life feel really pointless. It also feels strange being 26 and having very little desire and motivation for getting a career and a partner. (Amongst other things).

Before Prozac I sometimes felt low sometimes felt happy, but I always got energy boosts now and then during the day when I did what I needed to get done. Nowadays I never feel really happy and never really sad but just content, and I’m always tired and I can’t think or feel clearly if my life depended on it.

WHEN will I start to care about things again? Is there a way to force forward motivation? Will I be completely recovered and free from my cognitive issues again?

[Roxyrich]

Thanks colonial, it makes for interesting and disturbing reading.

I'm going to try walnuts because there high in omega 3.

Don't want supplements. 

[Roxyrich]

Was having an ok day today , until I had a chicken sandwich from kfc. 

I know, it's junk food,  but up till now I've been ok with kfc.

About half an hour after eating it ,I came down with awful fatigue, lasted about 3 hours. 

I'm constantly juggling food to keep my symptoms as calm as I can,it's just so tiring. 

I can eat porridge for breakfast or before bed but in between, bam.

I can only eat protein 11am till 5pm and only small amounts. 

I spend most of my day hungry and weak.

It's a full time job , and mistakes come with huge penalties.