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megb

megb: 3rd time attempt to get off Paxil

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Survivor1

Hey Meg,

 

Don't hurry, it's not worth it.  You're at the end.  make small drops (can do them more frequently) instead of large.  And great news about the sleep!  

 

All the best.

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brassmonkey

Hi Meg-- I'm glad to hear that things are going so well at the moment. Please don't give in to the temptation to speed things up, it will end up causing problems in the long run.  The dose range you're entering 14-10mg has been a tough one for many people and needs to be handled carefully.  I don't see a need to really slow things down any, but a different approach to your drops might prove helpful.  I am a huge fan of the Brassmonkey Slide Method because I've seen how well it works for a lot of people.  I suggest that you give it a try.  I think the standard slide of 2.5% a week for four weeks and then an additional two week hold should work quite well for you.  I makes the symptoms from each drop even more manageable and gives the added benefit of making weekly decreases so it feels like you're being more proactive in getting the stuff "out of your system".  If 2.5% (10% per slide) seems too large a cut then 1.25% (5% per slide) a week is very workable too. 

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megb

Thanks for the reality check y'all! I will continue to drop small in increments. I might do a slide but I am SO worried about accuracy... it's a big time commitment. How do you make sure it's correct every time??

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Miko789

Hi Meg,

glad to hear that  you are doing well. How do you make reductions ? To measure liquid If you use  1ml syringe then every 0.1ml has concetration.1 mg.  Paxil liquid (prexat) has 10mg/1ml

All the best.

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megb

Hi Miko, I don't make the reductions myself. Right now I use a compound pharmacy to make all my doses. I'd like to avoid liquid if I can and use crushed pills; the only reason is that I've seen many folks mention they absorb the liquid much faster and have trouble adjusting to it. 

 

Do you use liquid? I see you are on Paxil as well and at a very low dose, well done!!

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SkyBlue

Hi Meg!

 

I'm tapering Paxil as well. You asked about accuracy -- I know a lot of people use a digital scale, and there are recommendations on this site for brands that people find effective. They crush up the tablets and weigh them out. 

 

I am using liquid and have been for a year and a half. I can decrease whenever I need to and the flexibility has been really important. 

 

Looks like you're down to 12.75 -- that is great! Keep up the great work. :)

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megb

I've noticed as I decrease I am more and more emotional the week before my period hits. Last night I felt super annoyed at EVERYTHING. Literally I could not even make dinner without being upset I had to open certain ingredients...WHAT. I told my husband I was super sorry but I needed to have a moment. Later, I was watching a touching TV show and started bawling at a certain part. Could not get it together! Luckily it was a good moment to grieve for my dad and I did so for a good 30 minutes. Crying is so therapeutic! 

 

I felt much better after that cry-sesh :) I do enjoy feeling more emotion. Will have to remember that when I feel over the top annoyed it might be because I need to let out a little more feelings! 

 

This drop to 12.75 has gone well, so I think next I will drop to 12mg. Very grateful. 

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MollyN

LOL I share this! Last time, I was sitting at the table with the family eating dinner and suddenly all I could hear was their loud chewing!! I announce they were too loud and flounced off to sit on the couch by myself to eat... I'm pretty sure they were all eating at the same volume as normal.... lol

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megb

Molly, haha, I'm SO glad it isn't just me : ) How are you coming along? Any memory improvements? 

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MollyN

I so wish I could say my memory has improved, but just this afternoon I started to tell my daughter "some exciting news" and she interrupted saying "you've told me that twice already" and gave me that quizzical look people shoot you when they're not quite sure what to make of your lack of functioning!

 

It's quite disturbing, sometimes I'll forget things I've known for ever, for instance the names of the Beatles, or I forgot the lead singer of the Rolling Stones. I try not to focus on it too too much otherwise I can become very distressed that I have some sort of early onset dementia - lol that would be blimmin typical, here's me, writing everything off as antidepressant related and miss something important lol.

 

I loved what you wrote about crying! I've only just realised that I shouldn't be fearful of crying, but kind of embrace it and know that it brings relief xxx I read somewhere years ago (yay I didn't forget) that our tears are full of toxins - although that could be rubbish - but I liked the sound of it :)

 

Looking forward to your next update and whatever it brings xxxm

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megb

Molly, sorry it took me so long to reply, it has been a busy summer so far! I'm sorry to hear your memory issues are still ever-present :( I've heard nutrition can play a big role in regaining it. Haven't tried anything specific myself except fish oil supplements. I have to write everything and anything down or I cannot remember. My 63 year old manager jokes that I am young and shouldn't have these issues. Haha I KNOW, I definitely did not want them that is for sure. 

 

I love your wording 'blimmin' ! and just noticed you are located in New Zealand!! I've ALWAYS wanted to visit there... it looks breathtaking from the internet photos. 

 

Well today is my first day on 12mg and I do hope it is a smooth transition as the last few have been. We go to Colorado on vacation next week and it would be great to be feeling somewhat normal. 

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SkyBlue

Hope the transition continues to go smoothly, Meg! Have a great time in Colorado; that sounds amazing. <3

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megb

Well Colorado started out roughhh. My husband and I both got some sort of intestinal bug the day before unfortunately, and so the 15 hour road trip was not the best. We were sick for the first couple days of the trip but it was still a good time! Toward the end started feeling better and went on some very fun adventures! :) The scenery was breathtaking!! Mountains are unreal. 

 

We decided to try some legal substances while in CO to see if it would help me sleep. (Even though I have been sleeping fine) It was okay for the first night. The second time I took much too big of a hit by accident and it caused an 8 hour horrifying panic attack and suicidal thoughts. Never again! Could it be that it interacted with the Paxil?? I will be staying far away from now on that's for sure. Not worth it!

 

The drop to 12 has been good and I will be dropping again on July 11th. 

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Survivor1

Our CNS is so destabilized that it be best to not add anything (unless in crisis).  Glad you had a good time on vacation.  Am going to the mountains too next week (Banff, Canada), and hope that I am able to enjoy it as I am in the thick of WD.  Hope the scenery does me good!

 

You seem to be doing well wit the tapering, good for you!  All the best.

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megb

You're so right about the sensitive CNS. Ever since I tried MJ I've felt weird and slightly nauseous most of my day. I will stick to magnesium in the future :) Survivor, Have so much fun in Canada! That is on my bucket list for sure! I think the great outdoors will be soul-medicine for you. It's always good to get away from it all and refocus. How has sleep been?

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Survivor1

Luckily sleep has been OK.  With the fatigue from WD, the other meds seem to have an increased soporific effect.  Will be interesting to see how they work after I stabilize ... Cheers!

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megb

Glad to hear sleep has been okay! Much better than terrible :) We reach a new level of 'good' and 'okay' in WD. 

 

For my own documentation purposes: For the last 1.5 weeks I've had daily waves of nausea (no actual vomiting) sometimes lasting for hours on and off. I did have some sort of stomach/intestinal bug a few weeks ago which has been a bear to get rid of, so it may be residual sickness. It could also be WD as I have def had nausea as one of my symptoms last time I did a taper. Since it is still happening I am nervous to drop again in a few days to 11.25mg. I've already gotten the dose made at the pharmacy so I will probably continue to make this drop. Sometimes these feelings motivate me to continue to get off this poison and sometimes they cause fear of going forward. 

 

 

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megb

Dear SA diary, 

 

I haven't been nauseous for awhile which has been nice! The drop to 10.5 has been fairly easy and not felt. Until last night I hadn't had any major anxiety, just very small moments that passed quickly. My heart was racing while in bed last night and it took a long time to fall asleep, which has thankfully not been my norm for the last 6 months. It may have been the INTENSE amount of sugar I ingested all day....so so bad. But also it was so delicious. 

 

I've recently added dairy back for a food allergy test I took this past Tuesday. The amount of ice cream, cheese, and chocolate I've consumed has been significant for sure :) SOOOO good! I'm sure my gut is like WHAT IS HAPPENING. I did not enjoy the anxiety so I'll be taking it easy today and my taking my magnesium. Will need to breathe and keep in mind that this is PART of the process to have anxiety while tapering. It is not the end of the world and doesn't mean I will slide back into a black whole. 

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Altostrata

megb, sounds like you've gotten the hang of it. Thanks for updating!

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ChessieCat
10 hours ago, megb said:

It is not the end of the world and doesn't mean I will slide back into a black whole. 

 

That's a really great attitude to have!

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megb

Thanks Alto & Chessie! Also, I meant *hole instead of 'whole.' Oops :) Had a much better night last night. Hope y'all have a great weekend!

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Altostrata

:)

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megb

Dear SA Diary, 

 

It's been 3 days since I've decreased to 10mg from 10.5mg. I feel normal at the moment, which is good. I switched from the compounded drug to the regular pharma pill and was slightly nervous I would react - I guess there is still time for me to do so but hasn't happened yet. It's really nice to be paying $4 instead of $45!!! I'll hold for 6 months I think. Last time I did a long hold on 15mg I did have a rush of anxiety and insomnia toward the end of the 4 months - maybe the WD caught up with me? I was also very stressed at the time and in another state. Who knows! 

 

These next months will be a focus of diet; getting rid of all processed and inflammatory foods. My thyroid autoimmune disease is affected by food so I've gotta do better with it. Sleep is still very good, praise God! It's my 30th birthday today and I just feel terribly grateful to be on the path I'm on, even though it's been hellish at times. The future looks bright today :)

 

Praying for the rest of you going through the same or worse. 

love, Meg

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brassmonkey

Happy Birthday  Meg.  It sounds like you got yourself quite a present.

 

(((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

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Survivor1

Happy Bday to you Meg!  Wow you are the poster girl for patience for holding so long!  Hope the rest of your taper goes well.  Cheers.

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Miko789

Hi Meg,

 

Its nice that you switched to the pharma pill and been paying 4$ instead of  45. You can save money.

 

Yes diet is important as can affect us feel worse or better. Make us sleepy etc.

 

keep going!!

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