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Hi Grace. Just stopping by to say hello. I was just wondering how you were doing.

 

Marie

10/13--10/14 Ambien. Started tapering 1/14  Jumped 10/14.  Done.                                                                              

3/14        7.5 Remeron  still taking this.                              

2/14         75 Trazodone   -    Tapered by dry cutting all the way down.

1/16        4 mg Trazodone  -  Jumped. Bad mistake. Got hit with late withdrawal 6 weeks later. Reinstated.

4/16        Reinstated 1 mg, updose to 2 mg Trazodone

2/19        .04 Trazodone. Walked off.  Done.

10/3/19  Started 7.5 Mirtazapine taper cut to .073 gram weight, pill weighs .076

4/5/20    New Mirtazapine Taper - Compound Liquid 7.35 mg April '20, 7.25 mg May, 7.05 mg June, 6.99 mg June, 6.78 mg July, 6.57 mg Aug, Sept 6.35 mg, Sept 6.24 mg, Sept 6.21 mg, Oct 5.99 mg, Oct 5.90 mg, Oct 5.70 mg.

1/11/21 6.05 mg Messed up taper due to syringe change. Must remember the 1 ml syringe contains 1.5mg! 1/16/21 5.99 mg

2/21 5.75 mg, 3/21 5.6 mg, 4/7 5.45, 4/14 5.30, 5/12 5.15, 5/25/21 4.99 mg, 6/29 4.87 mg, 7/14/21 4.74 mg, 8/5 4.62 mg 8/17 4.5 mg, 8/30 4.38 mg,9/16 4.26 mg,10/9 4.14 mg, 10/23 4.05 mg, 11/6 3.96 mg,11/17 3.87mg.***Jan 22 Liquid was changed/couldn't tolerate***Changed back to pills. Feb 22/3.9 mg, 2/17/22 3.8 mg, 3/23 3.7 mg, 4/7 3.6 mg, 5/10 3.5mg,6/10/22 3.4 mg, 7/4 3.3 mg, 7/25 3.2 mg, 8/20/22 3.1 mg, 9/15 3 mg, 10/8/22 2.9 mg., 12/15 2.8 mg, 1/6/23 2.7 mg, 2/16/23 2.6 mg, 3/9 2.5 mg, 4/4 2.4 mg, 4/29/23 2.3 mg, 5/26 2.2 mg, 6/22/23 2.1 mg, 10/14 2 mg, 11/12 1.9 mg, 11/28 1.8 mg , 12/14/23 1.7, 12/31/23 1.6 mg, 1/20 1.5 mg, 2/6/24 1.4 mg, 2/12 updose 1.5 mg. Taking multi-vitamin, vit. D, cholestoff, psyllium husk, and fish oil.

 

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  • 9 months later...

Hi,

 

I stopped posting last August rather abruptly because I needed to make a change, any change, and that seemed to be the only change I could make.  I hoped it would make me "obsess" less about the hopelessness I felt. (it didn't)   It is not like me to just disappear from a group suddenly, but I have noticed it happens quite a bit here, so I guess I shouldn't have been so hard on myself for doing so.  I really, really cared about everyone here, and especially the people I chose to follow (for whatever reason; not because they were more important, but perhaps their issue was something I was confident speaking to).  That said, if there is anyone left here that I was trying to support, and felt like I was rude "disappearing", I apologize. 

 

I realize that abandonment has been an issue in my life, starting from childhood, so I guess I project my leaving as abandonment of others.  I know this sounds like I am flattering myself, but I got quite attached to those I followed, and it felt mean to not have some closure (not knowing if I was going to return ever).  I did what I needed to do that day.  A few members called me out on being "overly-sensitive" and they are right, and I still am, and I don't think that is going to change.  I AM sensitive, too sensitive, but in acknowledging that, I absolutely know it makes me a better person because I try to treat others as I need to be treated.  I do not mistake honesty with sensitivity.  When I ask a questiion, I will accept that the answer may not be the one I want to hear. 

 

So after 10 months off SA,  lo and behold, I started getting emails  from SA about topics I had been following and I find myself right back here, because some of those posts have really struck home with me. (I read them without signing in)  I notice that there have been some format changes since I left, so I have to learn to re-navigate, but I am anxious to share some of my progress (?) and also some insights about my own situation that might help some people that are currently struggling with their tapers.  Most of the insight has to do with poly-drugging, which doesn't apply to many here, but poly-drugging is a HUGE problem for tapering, and I hope that what I have learned over the past 3 years will help someone else try to sort out their situation.

 

I will share my 10 months of long dark tunnels of waves w/ bright spots now and then, in shorter posts with narrowed topics. Meanwhile, I will see if sharing what I have learned/hypothesized can help someone like me, who always feels as though there is nowhere to turn...

 

Grace

 

 

 

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi,

 

i am back, perhaps asking the same question, hoping someone, anyone has a thought on how I should proceed.

 

If you look at my signature you can see my approximate tapering history.  I realize I have been on psych drugs for more than half my life now.

 

I just saw my psychiatrist this week.  He knows how poorly I am doing and has known for a very long time.  He also knows, and allows me to continue to be in control of this mess, because, frankly, I think, he doesn't know what to do, and won't acknowledge what WE all know to be true.  I am sick because of these drugs.

 

To re-iterate as little as possible, I started tapering trileptal after I hit a wall tapering the benzo about 3-4 years ago.  I had cut about 25% of my highest dose of valium, but I became suicidal and completely dysfunctional if I tried to keep tapering, even the slightest amount at the slowest speed.

 

I studied up on the three drugs I am taking and learned that trileptal was likely speeding up the clearance of remeron and valium.  So I used some logic, and thought perhaps if the valium and remeron were not cleared so quickly, I would get some sleep and could handle all the other w/d symptoms.

 

Though it has not been easy, it seemed to work.  Don't get me wrong; I have not been well...just able to function at a very low level.  However, for the first 100 mg. I tapered over two years, I did sleep better which helped me cope with all the other physical/mental symptoms I have.

 

I wasn't doing too well last August; looking back I can now see more clearly that that is when I should have stopped tapering trileptal and tried something else.  However, sleep is my number one huge problem, and without it, I am suicidally depressed and dysfunctional, so I was really afraid to try tapering one of the other drugs.  I had waited 4 months from the last cut and I wasn't stabilizing at all.  I came on this forum and was given the options of updosing ( unpalatable at the time), doing nothing, and or cutting a different drug.  Which drug to taper next seems to be a matter of opinion but I decided to keep tapering the trileptal to 150 (Half of a 300 mg. pill and easier and cheaper; I take name brand) and then try to taper the remeron.  I chose to go very very slowly, as always, and try to feel as stable as I can feel before making a new cut.  I think I was at 217 mg. last August.

 

So, weighing all the options, I decided to give it another month and see what happened.  I didn't get any better.  If you know my history I am very ill, with things caused by these drugs an dthings I have suffered w/ all my life. (also damaged by other drugs like anti-biotics which I took for chronic sinus infections for 20+ years and PPI's for ? years) Just choosing to stay on the drugs (or adding anything else to the mix, was not, and is not an option)  In September 2016 I made another cut of less than 10%.  All in all since last September I have cut down to 172 mg. of trileptal.   I cut in January and then May again (less than 10% of current dose) and waited 4 months each time.  I never stabilized, I actualy felt worse, but I thought this was just evidence that my brain was still adjusting to the trileptal withdrawal.   However with the last two cuts, in January and May, all of my symptoms have gotten much worse.  The cut I started 8 weeks ago has eroded my sleep so much that I am sleeping 2-3 hours at best and then I may piece together a few minutes/hour.  I awaken feeling like I have been run over by a truck.  I feel that way all day and then I go to bed for more torture.  I am getting worse by the day...I have become housebound and nearly bed-bound.

 

My thoughts/questions are....has the almost 50% decrease (in almost 3 years)  in trileptal increased the side effects of remeron and/or valium?  Should I stop what I am doing right now (8 weeks into this cut) and up-dose some and see if I sleep better?  Is it too late for this?  My gut tells me this is not my brain stabilizing from the last cut.  I have not had any windows with this cut.  I have had two decent nights sleep in 8 weeks.

 

Side note...I take my 3 drugs together at night but split the valium dose between evening and early morning.  Does it make any sense to take the trileptal during the day? (acitivating?) Updose to the last dose I was sleeping on. (that would be going back about 30 mg. and 6 mos)  Take all the valium all at once at night?  Any other options?  Start tapering either of the other drugs?

 

I know I am a difficult case. I know only I can choose.  I am painfully aware that there is no good choice here.  I just wonder if there is something obvious I am missing here...

 

I realize I have posted this same series of questions before but maybe someone new will have a thought?  Up until May, I thought I had been choosing the right path and was  going slowly enough with small cuts.   I was never stable before I started tapering any of my drugs but I can't remember EVER feeling this bad for this long.  I don't think I am going to go anywhere but downhill w/o doing something different.

 

I am scared and desperate.  I know poly-drugging is the most complicated issue there is here.  There are no absolute answers.  I would really appreciate some feedback.  I am beating myself up pretty badly right now for coming on here and asking the same questions again, but I have nowhere else to go, and the situation gets more dire by the day...I have tried hard to listen and learn from SA, and have been appreciative and grateful for any ideas anyone has to offer.  I feel so alone, even w/ my husband who remains by my side. 

 

Thank you, anyone, who reads this.  I think so many of you here know how I feel.  I feel like all I am doing right now is dying a very very slow and painful death.  I am wondering if I should post this on "Tapering multiple drugs" because that really is the complicating factor.  Otherwise, I would simply choose to wait or up-dose but I have two other drugs being affected in this toxic mix.

 

Grace

 

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Grace, nice to "see" you. :)

 

I have no answers for you.

 

Have you tried smaller decreases in trileptal, less than 2%? Once your symptoms from the last dose drop settle, you could try experimenting with much smaller dose reductions of trileptal and see what happens.

 

It's possible that you fall into the group of people who have a crummy experience while tapering regardless of what they do.  The only choice may be between crummy (small or micro-decreases) and really crummy (5-10% decreases).

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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Thank you, Scalliwag. I don't know when I checked last, but I believe you are nearing the end if your taper. Congrats!  

 

I have been in the really crummy taperer category since I began, because it was way too late to Updose to a higher dose. 

 

Yes, I can definitely try smaller cuts of trileptal, but when do you think I should consider that. I am so far from stable...hard to know when to do anything. This is hell. 

I realize no one has THE answer so I appreciate even an opinion. We try to be logical but I fear logic has stopped working. Should I infer you think updosing would do no good or even harm?

 

Thank you for trying to help, Scalliwag. 

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Grace, let your symptoms guide you. Did your symptoms worsen after previous decreases? If yes, use that as a comparison to how your body reacts to smaller decreases.

 

Are they stable, i.e. the same level of crummy every day for week after week? If yes, then try a tiny decrease and monitor your symptoms.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

Link to comment

Yep, same crummy week after week. One good day in the last month, I think because I slept out of pure exhaustion. Otherwise, it has gotten worse progressively. The other drugs really complicate everything. 

 

I can never stop hearing Rhiannon in my head...talking about giving our brain time to remodel/adapt to the change, which is why I have tended to wait longer, which worked, until this last cut. 

 

Dang, this should not happen to anyone! 

 

Thanks you Scalliwag,

Grace

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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  • 1 month later...

Hi,

 

How do you know when you don't have time for a slow taper any more?

 

 I have followed all the protocols for a slow and steady taper, perhaps I have even gone too slow and given myself too long to hold.  I have been lying in my bedroom for nearly a week now, too sick to do anything. (well, i go let my husband drag me around outside for a bit to get some sun and a little movement, but I feel like the walking dead.)  My doctors are now starting to admit my drugs are making me sick.  I have severe, severe GI problems...gastroparesis, Barrett's esophagus and IBS.  My eye glands have stopped producing the oil they need so they hurt and are " beat up" in the opthamologist's words.  I have severe allergy and sinus symptoms, I can't sleep more than 3 hours/ night.  Recent blood work showed very deficient vitamins, particularly D and B, low thyroid, very very low hormonal activity, worsening blood sugar control.  My bones, joints and muscles ache, sometimes all of them at the same time.  I am starting to get headaches which I have never had before.  I am seriously dizzy when I change positions.  I have dangerously low blood pressure.  My body temperature is out of control.  The 8-10 foods I have lived on for a year and a half are now making me ill. I have severe spinal stenosis and degeneration in my back and neck. Supplements, eye drops, ANYTHING different, causes extreme reactions... shortness of breath,  electric shocks and sometimes severe chest pain,  rashes,  worse insomnia... you name it.  I can't go anywhere or do anything.  My last cut of trileptal was almost 4 months ago...8% of current dose.  My plan had been to hold this for a while...a long while and then try to micro-taper remeron or benzo.... I don't know, but I have just gotten sicker the longer I hold.  The trouble is I am on 3 drugs and no doctor, no moderator, no friend, no book has the answer for me.  I am lying here half-propped up in bed, with an ice pack on my head, a hot water bottle on my belly, and warm gel packs on various muscle parts and this is NORMAL for me, except that I just feel sicker and weaker every single day.  I am only depressed because I am sick.  I get panicky when I get so ill and I can't do a single thing to ease my pain, make me sleep, give me comfort of any kind.

 

What I know is that my nervous system is shot.   It is over-sensitized.  I understand that.  I also know my gut is likely very very ill w/ leaky gut, candida, whatever you want to call it so I am not getting the nutrients my brain needs.  What I also know is that I have tried everything to help myself, EVERYTHING, and there isn't enough time left in my life to get off these drugs.  I am dying an excruciatingly slow, excruciatingly painful death.  I am sorry if this sound  over dramatic.   I know all of the above could be said by many people here when they were tapering and post-withdrawal, but i was never stable (while on the drugs)  before I started tapering 5-7 years ago.  I had been sick for many years before I started tapering.

 

When is it time to throw in the towel and turn myself over to the system?  My family and friends don't understand why we aren't seeking more help.  They don't understand that it is the drugs causing much of this. (some of it was in place before psych meds)  They don't understand that this isn't drug addiction. The thing is I know the answer...the system will just cause a rapid withdrawal and/or  cold turkey and then they will  put me on other drugs because I am so hyper-sensitized to change my brain/body will freak out.  I know I have some genetic abnormalities as far as drug metabolism go and many others.  I am not one of the lucky ones that can do a slow, steady reasonable taper.  I was too sick when I started and I am too old. Yes, I stupidly trusted my doctor 15 years ago when he mixed this drug cocktail for me, but now I can't just choose to stop drinking it and go to meetings. I am not sure why I am even writing any of this.  I have been painted into this corner for  a decade and a half now.

 

How do you know you must go off your drugs now?  So many doctors have told me my drugs could be causing this or that. I know my drugs are causing this and that!   How do you know that tapering and suffering an excruciatingly long taper that will likely last until you die is the best course?  I am 63....a micro-taper of 3 drugs...don't think there are enough years left...

 

Coping strategies?  I have used them all for 15 years or I would have killed myself 15 years ago.  I fear I have lost my ability to cope.  It is not normal to think death is a better alternative to life, but I have felt that way for a very long time.  I have no will to live any longer.  I just want the torture to be over.

 

Can someone please tell me if I am doing the right/wrong thing by trying to keep this under my control?  Sorry if this should be under my intro but I can't help but believe there are many others that wonder if they are too sick and too old to have time to taper.  BTW, longevity is not in my family.  My dad died at 39 and my mom was 72.  I know I don't have 30 years to do this.

 

Grace

 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
merged with Intro topic
  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

Link to comment
  • ChessieCat changed the title to Do I have time for a slow taper?

 

You could try a small reinstatements if the situation is unbearable.

Or wait for symptoms so decrease in intensity.

Or even stay on meds if you think it doesn't worth the effort.

It's your choice and no one can tell you what to do, because science doesn't know what is happening exactly to our brains.

 

I don't want to lie, we don't know how much symptoms will last and if they will 100 % disappear

But in the majority of cases, mine included, they tend to decrease over time and eventually make your life better than it was on meds.

 

 

IF I was you, i would wait for symptoms to subside , but that would only be my choice, to at least fight to be free from these drugs.

The choice is your, you can even do a small reinstatement and if things get better then proceed to micro-taper to minimize symptoms while slowing detoxing your body.

The only thing tht counts is how you feel as a person and what your goal is.

 

 

 

I'm sorry, didn't write a proper diary and my memory is very bad, can't remember exactly all dosages . Here is a short summary

Drugged since i was 11 yo.

Prescribed several SSRI, neuroleptics, mood stabilizers, benzos.Last prescription was lithium, lamotrigine , 20 mg paroxetine, rivotril

Tapered fast lithium and lamotrigine with little to no symptoms 3 years ago.Since then i'm tapering paroxetine and going through withdrawal syndrome. My tapering was not   stable and that's probably the cause of a lot of acute symptoms i had .

Currently at 0.8 mg of paroxetine

Trying now a micro-taper of 0.02 cuts

15/07/2017 tapered to 0.74  (having waves and windows. Cognitive impairment, akathisia, apathy, anxiety, vision problems, depression, paranoia, obsessive toughts, extreme fatigue,  and some more: all comes in waves except vision problems wich are persistent)

08/09/2017 0.72 mg 28/09/2017 0.70 mg

 

 

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Thank you, Why.  I am very grateful that you took the time to read, reflect on, and give me some feedback on my situation.

 

You very succinctly pointed out my choices...none of them seem to be the obvious next step, but I am certain I will not be re-instating anything.  AS a person, I feel sick and frightened all the time.  My goal is to live the best life I can, with the odds stacked against me.  I have been doing this for quite some time.

 

I had a "better week" followed by another round of severe symptoms.  I am going to start micro-tapering on Monday.  I have to reduce my toxic load.  It is killing me.

 

I admire your tenacity and the success you have had to date.  I wish you the best of luck in the future.  I really appreciate  your time and attention.  If you ever need a pep talk, let me know.  I am quite capable of cheering others on, even when I feel like i am on death's doorstep.  Sometimes we just need to know we are heard.

 

Grace

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi Grace , I somehow ended up reading your thread when I was doing a search about klonopin withdrawal. 

Im so sorry you have suffered so much with these meds and trying to get off them . I too am super sensitive to any kind of dose reduction , and it's so hard to make choices when that is the case. My history is not like yours.  And no where near as complex, but I have been mostly house ibound and bed bound  a lot the last 3 years , and very sick . 

 

I guess i just just wanted to say hello and see how you are doing ? 

 

Do do you have any kind of faith ? Sometimes that's all that's left .... Even if you don't , you can pray for help . 

 

Sending you you healing thoughts and hugs , 

maresat 🙏🏻🌺

Feb 2015 - 1 st Xanax for anxiety 1/8th mg X prn 2.5 mg ambien night 6- 900 Gabapentin RLS (GPn15 yrs) 2015 - CT steroids Sept 2015- started daily benzos , Xanax 1/8-1/4 mg and Ativan .5 mg after life trauma/900 gabapentin nightly
Dec 2015- klonopin for panic. Dropped Ativan and ambien ,.125-.25 mg Xanax plus .25 to .5 mg Klonopin /Jan 2016- dropped Xanax , WD hell! Feb 2016- wanted off klonopin,Mar 16 to May'16- crossed to 10 mg Valium from.375 mg k /March17-390 GPN June -360 GPN - 8mg V,  june 7.93 mgs V stability gone ,very sick /9/6/17- cross to .40 K in one day - WDs /K better than V / VERY unstable /using dry pills and scale to measure doses . 9/20 -1mgV/.35K. 9/24 -2 mgs V/ .30 K

gabapentin-360 mgs night 

 

 

Link to comment

Hi Maresat,

 

How kind of you to respond in such a generous way, especially given that you are very ill yourself. I do find that reaching out to others about their pain helps me make sense out of my suffering. 

 

I have found God in the midst of so much suffering and He is where I turn. I am human though, and there is just so much suffering a person can take before despair and depression set in.  My depression is directly related to how good/bad I am feeling. I have learned to experience and acknowledge very simple things as joyful as more and more of life passes by. I am grateful for that. Praying is the most powerful medicine I have left, though it sometimes confounds me when I feel my prayers aren't being heard. I suppose that is the universal faith  question...why does God allow some people to suffer so much more than others?  I mostly try not to perseverate on this, as it can drag me down further. 

 

I went ahead and made about a 3.5% cut of trileptal 3 weeks ago and am making  a tiny cut today of 3 mg. My sleep is my barometer, and though I had shocks, chest pain, and other assorted w/d symptoms, I feel like I can cut again. My goal is to get to 150 mg. trileptal and then do a good long hold and try micro-tapering valium or remeron. It will be interesting to see if cutting the trileptal by half (an inducer of both of the others) will allow me to make progress with tapering the others. I think it might, albeit very very slowly. 

 

I am on my phone so I can't see your history but 3 years of barely living is awfully lonely and scary. I am always here,  ready to listen, so please write if you just need someone to talk to. 

 

Thank you again, Maresat. I wish you more days you can get out of bed. 

 

Grace

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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Hi Grace , I'm glad you have a faith .... Though I have to agree with you , it is tested in all this suffering . My understanding is that it is human irresponsibility that causes so much suffering, which God - or however we name that the Divine , Love , Oneness ,- does not control what we do as humans if that makes sense . 

I do believe in prayer and Grace , and ask daily for help and guidance . 

 

You  are doing great , slowly tapering and managing what you can . It certainly can get depressing when it goes on for so very long and progress is so slow . My days are like that too , sometimes I manage being this way better than others , and it is very human to feel this way . We weren't meant to suffer like this . 

 

Anyway , I'll see if I can get notifications of when you post so that I can respond . 

 

I have my own thread in the benzos only group if you can access it . 

Im holding at the moment to try and stabilize . My nervous system is very unstable now . I hope I can as I don't see being able to taper when this unstable , however sick the meds might make me feel . 

 

Hang in there Grace , 

maresat 🙏🏻💕

Feb 2015 - 1 st Xanax for anxiety 1/8th mg X prn 2.5 mg ambien night 6- 900 Gabapentin RLS (GPn15 yrs) 2015 - CT steroids Sept 2015- started daily benzos , Xanax 1/8-1/4 mg and Ativan .5 mg after life trauma/900 gabapentin nightly
Dec 2015- klonopin for panic. Dropped Ativan and ambien ,.125-.25 mg Xanax plus .25 to .5 mg Klonopin /Jan 2016- dropped Xanax , WD hell! Feb 2016- wanted off klonopin,Mar 16 to May'16- crossed to 10 mg Valium from.375 mg k /March17-390 GPN June -360 GPN - 8mg V,  june 7.93 mgs V stability gone ,very sick /9/6/17- cross to .40 K in one day - WDs /K better than V / VERY unstable /using dry pills and scale to measure doses . 9/20 -1mgV/.35K. 9/24 -2 mgs V/ .30 K

gabapentin-360 mgs night 

 

 

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Thanks, Maresat. I will read your thread very soon. I imagined we share many of the same "hyper-sensitivity" issues, which make life pretty difficult, or near impossible, to navigate. 

 

Just press "follow" to get notifications of anyone's postings. I think you have enabled emails that will notify you. 

 

I will do the same for you. 

 

I agree. Human actions cause much of our suffering, and I take some responsibility for the state of my life, but 36 years ago I trusted doctors and had no reason not to. The internet clued me in long after i was in too deep. 

 

More later,

Grace (pen name for a reason 🙏🙂)

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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  • 1 month later...

Hi,

 

I tried. I really did.  I believe the site has been tweaked (I am sure for the good) over the past year but I am having more difficulty finding content.  Right now, I want to send a link to my intro to a member.  Can someone tell me how to do that?  I found myself in "topics I follow" but could not figure out how to send the link.  Sorry to bother you about something, perhaps, I should be able to figure out.  Thank you.

 

Grace

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi savinggrace

 

You go to the first page of your Intro topic and select and copy the URL (Ctrl + C) and paste it (Ctrl + V)

 

Here is it for you http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/11771-savinggrace/

 

Or you can reduce it by deleting the beginning of it:  savinggrace

 

When you paste it, it will come up in a box, but you can click on display as link instead (which will show up below after you paste it).

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Ccat is back!!  Yay.  (sorry for the hijack SG)

 

You can also have the other member just hit/select the activity or recent activity button on the top left of the screen, it's different for androids or iphones but findable, and just go down the list and find your recent post and then they will be here.

 

 

 

 

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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I think part of the problem is that I am usually on my I phone. I should know from past experience that the site is much more user-friendly if I work from my computer. Thank you both... just put my user name?  Couldnt be much easier than that!  Thanks to both of you for your help. 

 

Grace

 

 

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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  • Mentor

Hi Grace,

 

I just read your thread from the beginning.  You are brave and intelligent. The suffering you are going through breaks my heart. I wish I had a suggestion to make, any suggestion, but I have none. I hope that you get to see light at the end of the tunnel sooner rather than later.

 

 

Rachel

 

 

I am not a health professional in any way.  I do not give medical advice.   Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a professional medical practitioner.

 

NEW INFORMATION FOR GABAPENTIN TAPER

April 29, 2022 900 mg to 800 mg (11%), May 29, 2022 800 to 700 mg (12.5%), June 20, 2022 700 to 650mg (8%), July 20, 2022 650 to 575 (12%), August 20,  575 to 500 (13%),  Sept 20, 2020 500 to 475mg (5%) Nov 7, 2022 475 to 425 (11%), Nov 21, 2022 500mg

Medications: Gabapentin, Prednisone 1.5mg a day, Cortisol Inhaler daily. 

HISTORY FOR ZOLOFT TAPER

Feb. 2016 to June 2016  - Was on 150mg Zoloft.  Put on Gabapentin at 900mg a day in 2016 due to antidepressant withdrawal. 

Quit Zoloft (Sertraline) June  2016,  reinstated 50mg of Zoloft July 2016.  From July 2016  to October 2016 went from 50 mg down 2.3 mg. I up-dosed in November 2016 to 12.5 mg. Held there until January 2017 when I started a much slower taper.

STARTING SENSIBLE  ZOLOFT TAPERING USING GUIDELINES FROM THIS SITE

Dec. 10 2016  - switched to Liquid Zoloft (Sertraline) @ 12.5 mg.   Jan. 4, 2020 1.875 mg (6.3%). Jan. 25, 2020 1.75 mgFeb. 29, 2020 1.625mg (7.10%).  Apr. 4, 2020 1.5 mg.  May 9, 2020 1.375 mg.  June 6, 2020 1.25 mg. (9.10%).  July 4, 2020 1.125 mg. (10%).  August 15, 2020 1.0 mg.  Oct 24, 2020 .875 mg.  Nov. 28, 2020 .75mgJan 16, 2021 .685mg (8.7%).  Feb 13, 2021 .62mg. March 12, 2021 .56mg.  May 1, 2021 .375mg.  May 29, 2021 .25mg. June 26, 2021 .0125mg. July 25, 2021 .065mg. August 22, 2021 .048mg.  October 2, 2021 .043mg.  October 10, 2021 .038mg.  October 23, 2021 .035mg.  October 30, 2021 .032mg.  Nov. 13, 2021 .030 mg.  Dec 4, 2021 .0285 mg.  Dec 11, 2021 .0265 mg. Dec 18, 2021 .0246 mg. Dec 25, 2021 .023mg. Jan 1, 2022. 0 mg. OFF COMPLETELY

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Rachel,

 

My life is rather heartbreaking and doesn’t show any sign of there being an end of the tunnel. I am not really expecting to get there, but I will die trying! Some light does come, though, from messages like yours. You just eased my pain for a few minutes. My heart just beat a little stronger because someone cares about my pain and also recognizes  the strength I must summon up every single day. 

 

Thank you you from the bottom of my heart. I am flat on my back right now but I will read your story soon. 

 

Wiahing you well,

Grace

 

 

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Hello,

 

I have spent most of today on this site reading the symptoms forum, and browsing around, trying to find out if anyone has the same physical kind of pain that I do...I am talking about disabling physical pain.  I spend most of my time reclined or semi-reclined on a couch or in bed because of spinal pain.  What I know about my spine is that I have degenerative disc disease in nearly my whole spine  (many people do, though it often progresses and  becomes more problematic as one ages; I just turned 63.)  I have some bulging discs and 7 benign tumors (hemangiomas in my thoracis and lumbar spine).  About 10% of the population has these tumors, and they are usually asymptomatic, but mine "seem to be" symptomatic as I have pain at the area of the worst tumors.  One of them is "pre-cancerous" and is supposed to be MRI'd with contrast dye yearly.  I don't want to do that any more as the dye makes me sick and worsens my w/d for some time. The treatments for these tumors are treatments I am not a good candidate for for various reasons AND the treatments, themselves, are questionable and often not effective. Thus the risk/benefit consideration is not good.

 

The point is, I read so much here about neuro-emotions and anxiety and depression and other mental/emotional problems.  Yes, I am anxious and depressed but not anything I can't handle, really.  I am tapering so slowly I have never had DP or DR or anything like that.  My problems are sleep and pain and depression, but I know what to do about the depression.  I am talking about serious pain here; debilitating pain...pain that makes me suicidal.  I cannot tolerate pain meds....been there; done that...haven't even had a tylenol for 3 years.  I just grit my teeth and use all my self-care coping mechanisms to get through another day.  Day after day of debilitating pain...

 

I have gone to physical therapy for neck/gut/back/shoulder pain for a year now.  Nothing seems to help. I have tried every alternative medicine option that I have heard of.  My nervous system is shot.  I realize I am hyper-sensitized to EVERYTHING.  It's just that I don't read that much here about physical pain.  My "normal" pain level is a 5.  I get out of bed at a 3-4 if I am lucky in the morning.  If I am up and about the pain rises and rises until it goes off the charts.  I walk 45 minutes a day no matter how bad the pain is because otherwise, I would get no physical activity and what little muscle I have would atrophy.   I literally can't stand still for one minute w/o my pain getting worse.  The amount of pain I live with is downright inhumane.  We don't let our animals live with this pain, yet I live with it 24/7.

 

I keep trying to manage the pain.  The thing is, nothing seems to help which leads me to believe that although I have physical findings of causes for the pain, much of it is w/d related.  Yet, I seldom read about physical pain here.  I did read about dysautonomia which I am relatively certain I have as I have most of the symptoms.  Is this over-exaggerated pain from a disregulated autonomic nervous system?

 

Any answers at all would be appreciated.  Thank you.

Grace

 

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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Hi savinggrace, I'm so sorry you suffer from such horrible pain!  I know how horrible to live in so much pain constantly for years! I want to let you know that you are not alone. If you see my signature, I have been tapering lexapro for 5 years and I never had one day without severe pain allover my head, neck, back ( along spine). I have various type of pain, deep bone, muscle, nerve, and the most crazy one is the deep needling pain over me esp. Intolerable in my brain.  I call my self pain lady for the fact how severe and constant the pain has been. Like you, nothing helps much except for exercise. I push very hard to gym everyday to walk, sauna, and swim, often time I can feel better out of gym. I can't take any other meds or supplement so no pain killer is possible regardless how bad the pain is. I simply endured it for these many years, unbelievably.

 

these meds can mess up so many things in our body and everyone can have different symptoms. I believe there are others too suffering pain related symptoms is you search pain under symptoms and self care in the forum.

 

my needling pain lessoned a lot in terms of severity and frequency since I stopped the drug although sometimes it can come back in full force like yesterday. I hope and believe once we recover the pain related symptoms will go away along with others.

 

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Thank you so much LexAnger for responding and congratulations for your completeing your lexapro taper.  Now, having completed the taper, you have some real hope that things will improve...at least you have hope, and I think improvement is likely for you.   I must admit I don't have much hope as I just can't micro-taper and  hold as I need to to manage to get off these drugs in any amount of time that will leave much of life left for me to live.  So I plod along....one day at a time....hoping the next day will be a tad better.  Sometimes it is.  Yesterday my body pain was an average of 5 on a 1-10 scale, which is a good day for me.  I still can't "push it" on those days, though, or my pain accelerates very quickly.

 

As I said, I spent most of yesterday and some of today searching the forums for body pain like ours and haven't found much.  I admittedly did not read all 41 pages of "symtoms and self-care" but I read at least half of them.  The only reason I look for an answer to this question of "how much of this pain is due to the med's side effects/wd? " is because if it is the meds and/or the wd, then no accupuncture, massage, PT, etc. is ever going to help me as long as I am taking the drugs or recovering from them.   Sadly, as I decrease the load, it seems my pain is getting worse which makes me think it is w/d, so I should hold, but I was in a  lot of pain when my drug load was almost twice this much,  so it doesn't seem sensible to think that there is any length of hold that is going to reduce the pain.

 

It actually feels like "self-harm" or abuse to allow myself to live in this much pain, but honestly, I have no choice.  As you know, the days are very, very long just trying to manage.  Yes, exercise does help.  Oh, how I wish I could swim.  It would be so much easier on my joints and might help strengthen my upper body.  With my rather severe neck/shoulder pain, any lifting arms over my head (as in swimming) makes me much worse.  So, all I do is walk.  I walk as long as my back/general pain/fatigue will tolerate which takes a lot of discipline but I know it has kept me out of a wheelchair.  Sometimes the exercise helps, but mostly I can't wait to get home and unload my spine and get my pillows, cushions, ice packs and heating pads on to bring the pain back down to a tolerable level.  Oh, this is no life to lead...

 

Anyway, thanks for you response.  If you know of a  thread or some posts on this kind of spinal pain we have, I would appreciate it if you would point them out to me.  Searching for "pain" and "body pains" and "spinal pain" hasn't really gotten me much which makes me wonder if this kind of pain is an abberation.

 

I hope your pain continues to melt away the further you get away from the drug.  Congrats and happy new year.  Thank you for responding.

 

Grace

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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Oh dear, I know how tourturous with the most insane pain from these crazy meds going on every minute for so long. I hope I can hug you for some comfort! In the past 5 years I built lots streghth to endure various pains still often times got into tears from them. I'm actually in very strong pain today again feeling heart shaking from it I feel exactly same about abusing myself to live in such agony for so long and not stop it all. But what other options do we have? I simply can't do it for the sake of my loved ones.

 

Another thing helped me is charapractor especially on spine, head, jaw, neck, face. At least for temp relief. 

 

I also tried to relate  various pains to either WD or drug, it seems the needling pain ( almost like knifing) is more from the drug, while all other types are from WD. 

 

I will find the links and send to you in the next post.

 

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment

Lex,

i have a few questions for you, but I really need to some “self-care”

right now to lower my pain level. I am just so grateful that you responded to me and took the two me to send me the links. (Which I couldn’t seem to find myself). I will follow these people to help me relate my pain to what others are experiencing. Maybe I can share a few coping strategies as well. 

 

I just need  to say thank you so much for taking time for me when you, yourself are having not a good day. Wish I could hug you as well. 

 

Happy new year!

 

Grace

 

 

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

Link to comment

Not at all grace! I am glad I can be a bit help to you. Today has been one of the most severe pain day for me making me want to die for real and I'm amazed how much pain a human being can endure and actually not die from it.

 

we can only keep the hope that it won't last forever even it really feels so. 

 

I hope ole your day is a better one with less pain.

 

we survived another year amazingly. Happy new year to you !!

 

lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment

As in such a horror pain day, I searched around more and found this.

 

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment

Lex,

I am in horrendous pain too...all over...I will check this out tomorrow.

 

Maybe we can help each other, even if we just are able to tell each other how bad it is.  It helps to know that someone else really does understand your pain.  My husband is here, but he really can't get it.

 

The human drive to survive is the only explanation I have for why I am still here.

 

Tomorrow is another day.  Maybe it will be better...

 

Grace

 

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

Link to comment

I'm so sorry grace for you pain! Yes we can talk more to support each other. I will send a pm to you soon.

 

Hope your pain lessons some in evening!

 

Lex

 

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment
7 hours ago, savinggrace said:

Lex,

I am in horrendous pain too...all over...I will check this out tomorrow.

 

Maybe we can help each other, even if we just are able to tell each other how bad it is.  It helps to know that someone else really does understand your pain.  My husband is here, but he really can't get it.

 

The human drive to survive is the only explanation I have for why I am still here.

 

Tomorrow is another day.  Maybe it will be better...

 

Grace

 

HI, I also had shawder pain from withdrawal of citalopram, for 2 months. 

I went to a pain clinic, where the doctor made me local injections of some kind, in a 3 days session, and helped a lot. 

Now for 6 months I am OK. 

Citalopram 20 mg

Mid June 1994- end March 1995 Then tapering 3 months 

Mid August 1995-end August 1996 Tapering 6 months 

Mid January 2000-end September 2001 Tapering 6 months

Mid October 2003-end October 2005 Tapering 7 years. 

More detailed drug history is here - ☼-kostas

Off any drug from October 2012 

Link to comment

Thank you Kostas.  I imagine your shoulder injections had some sort of medication in them.  I cannot take anything like that.  If I could, I definitely would have steroid injections in my spine or at least lidocaine patches or something for pain, but those are all things I tolerate no longer.  They interfere with everything, including the metabolism of my meds so I don't even bother to go to pain doctors any more.

 

I applaud you for your very, very slow taper off your drug.  Many people go too fast and really pay for it.  I think it you feel 80% improved, you can count yourself lucky and successful.  I believe you will keep improving.

 

Grace

 

 

 

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

Link to comment
On 12/31/2017 at 2:58 PM, LexAnger said:

Lex,

Thank you for this link to Beyond Meds.  I believe I have read most of Gia's work before, and admire it greatly.  It is always good to "re-visit" ideas, and even try them again.  The trouble with me is that I am still tapering, and likely will be for a very very long time, so many of the non-drug techniques (foods and supplements) are just not an option for me.  For now, I am going to try the "legs up the wall" yoga position (I tried it years ago) and also try to force myself to take epsom salts baths.  The hot water/salt always feels good, but sitting in a hard tub, even on a tub cushion, is not something I want to do when I feel like I would rather curl up into a fetal position from pain!  For now, I am summoning up all my self-discipline to take a long hot shower and go walk at the local mall for as long as I am able.  (or it closes...I forgot it is New Year's Day...I have no life1)  I hope your pain is less horrendous today.  Grace

 

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

Link to comment
43 minutes ago, savinggrace said:

Thank you Kostas.  I imagine your shoulder injections had some sort of medication in them.  I cannot take anything like that.  If I could, I definitely would have steroid injections in my spine or at least lidocaine patches or something for pain, but those are all things I tolerate no longer.  They interfere with everything, including the metabolism of my meds so I don't even bother to go to pain doctors any more.

 

I applaud you for your very, very slow taper off your drug.  Many people go too fast and really pay for it.  I think it you feel 80% improved, you can count yourself lucky and successful.  I believe you will keep improving.

 

Grace

 

 

 

Many thanks Grace! Hope the new year to bring the much needed relief, to all of us. 

Citalopram 20 mg

Mid June 1994- end March 1995 Then tapering 3 months 

Mid August 1995-end August 1996 Tapering 6 months 

Mid January 2000-end September 2001 Tapering 6 months

Mid October 2003-end October 2005 Tapering 7 years. 

More detailed drug history is here - ☼-kostas

Off any drug from October 2012 

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