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leahbean

Anyone in withdrawal trying to parent really young children?

17 posts in this topic

Mods feel free to move this if there's already a similar topic.

 

I was wondering if anyone on here is trying to withdraw whilst trying to parent very small (under 10) children.  I'm looking for a thread to share tips, advice, and empathy.  Feel free to check out my intro thread for information on me.  Thanks!  

 

Let's do this thing.  =)

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Leahbean, I am raising two children of 3,5 years as a solely mother. My withdrawal started in November 2014, so the children were ca 2 years old. If you need support, you can write me anytime.

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I'm curious about drugs during your pregnancies. were you drug-free during pregnancy? was there withdrawal?

 

sorry I can't answer the question you asked, because I don't have children yet. I'm planning, but withdrawal of course holds me back. 

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Hi i have a 2 year old and i am withdrawing from Zoloft. It is rough. I was unmedicated during my entire pregnancy.

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were you going through withdrawal during pregnancy, Princessmolly? How was it and how do you think the pregnancy influenced withdrawal symptoms?

I'm wanting to get pregnant as soon as I'm off the drugs, that's why I'm asking. 

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My youngest is 5 years old. One tip I have is a late afternoon quiet time - say about an hour or hour and half before supper. Unless your little ones are still napping - if that is the case then a late afternoon nap is a nice time for mom to take a few minutes breather and then start on supper quietly. My 5 year old no longer naps but I find he/she gets cranky without their quiet time in their bedroom where they can play with toys on their own. I get him/her out when supper is ready - it makes that rush time of the day more peaceful and seems to be good for my little one too. I did that with all my kids from a parenting book recommendation.

Another tip, if you have a willing husband - my husband lets me sleep in on the weekends. That way if I slept poorly at night I can often fall back asleep in the morning for a while.

Gentle exercise is also helpful. After supper I often take a brisk 20 minute walk - either on my own or with my child in a stroller. I find this helpful for anxiety and with regulating sleep and for good health in general.

I also find daily one on one time with my little one helps me treasure the time I have with them and also fills their love tank. Choose a time when you are feeling good - for me I generally do this after lunch or in the early afternoon as I find mornings I am not at my best. Also have go-to activities for your little one to do, ready for when you are not feeling as good and need a break (have a quiet calming activity you can do near your child during your 'break' like reading a good book for a bit). You don't need to feel bad about taking a break while your child does an activity because you are also spending quality one on one time with them everyday and they are more content knowing they have this time with you every day.

If your husband is an involved father it is nice for him to spend some one on one time each weekend with your child too - this also fills their love tank and they are more content during the week. They develop a close relationship with both mom and dad.

Don't over -schedule yourself with family commitments. Choose one activity per kid that meets only once a week. When they are very young they don't need this but a play date every week or two weeks is fun for them, but not too much for you.

Build a repertoire of easy and quick to make meals that everyone likes for days when you are feeling low - that way meal prep is not too over-whelming on difficult days. That's all I can think of for now.

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I also find a routine is calming for kids and helpful for mom. When you are not feeling good you can keep to the routine in a more mindless fashion and doesn't take as much energy since you know the routine well. Similar meal/bed/play/one on one times, ect... You can get through the next activity and then take a break. Your child is calm knowing what to expect and all their needs are met in a timely fashion. I find this particularly helpful for bedtime routine and sleep. Young kids generally need 10 - 12 hours of sleep each night - with my kids closer to 12 until they got older. So set a time that works for your schedule for them to get up in the morning - say 8:30am (could be any time that works for your schedule) and then make sure you put them to bed 12 hours before that every night - so 8:30pm. You could then start the bedtime routine every night at 8pm. Something to look forward to like a couple favorite bedtimes stories makes kids less likely to buck the routine and establishing the routine firmly also helps them get in the habit and not resist it so much. Their sleep cycle then gets set and is not erratic. And that means they likely have full nights of sleep every night which in addition to being very healthy for them, gives you down time each night in the evening since adults don't need 12 hours of sleep. Also knowing that your kids sleep well each night helps you relax more if you struggle with insomnia at times - you don't have the added stress of wondering if once you fall asleep your child will often wake you up. Of course there will be interruptions at times for sickness ect... but in general you know your kids will sleep well and this will help you relax at bit more at bedtime too.

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I have a 19 month old and was completely off zoloft for 3 months now. I weaned off it for 2 months and still going through withdrawals from it. Thank you herewego for your advice. Im going to try those and see if that will help. In at a place of just survival right now.

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How do you take care of your kids? Is there something that relaxes you? I feel so guilty because i don't even have the strenght to take my kids to the park, all they see is me laying in bed most of the day, i just get up to cook for them😞

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I'm fairly early into tapering but definitely feeling the effects of withdrawal, fatigue and low mood in particular. I am a single parent to a 2 year old girl. It is so hard to get through the day sometimes, especially as she has recently begun to refuse her nap. I have to take her out in the car just so she'll sleep and I can have half an hour's peace and quiet. She watches far more TV than I would like, just because I don't have the energy to do anything some days. Looks like there are a lot of helpful suggestions on here so far. Following this post x

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23 hours ago, Purplerain said:

I'm fairly early into tapering but definitely feeling the effects of withdrawal, fatigue and low mood in particular. I am a single parent to a 2 year old girl. It is so hard to get through the day sometimes, especially as she has recently begun to refuse her nap. I have to take her out in the car just so she'll sleep and I can have half an hour's peace and quiet. She watches far more TV than I would like, just because I don't have the energy to do anything some days. Looks like there are a lot of helpful suggestions on here so far. Following this post x

Wow i feel for you☹️ I'm actually married but sometimes it feels like im a single parent myself because my husband works all day and he gets home very tired so he doesnt help with the kids, i have a 2 year old and a 5 month old and im om your same boat, he watches tv all day and it breaks my heart because i know he gets bored, but i dont even have the strenght to take him to a park, im mentally and physically tired all the time, sedated with a feeling of derealization, i hope this pass for us, its sad that our kids see us like that😞

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On 11/08/2017 at 10:28 PM, Lolitaheb said:

Wow i feel for you☹️ I'm actually married but sometimes it feels like im a single parent myself because my husband works all day and he gets home very tired so he doesnt help with the kids, i have a 2 year old and a 5 month old and im om your same boat, he watches tv all day and it breaks my heart because i know he gets bored, but i dont even have the strenght to take him to a park, im mentally and physically tired all the time, sedated with a feeling of derealization, i hope this pass for us, its sad that our kids see us like that😞

 

Hi Lolita, nice to meet you. It's a real shame your husband doesn't help you out more, especially given how you're suffering at the moment. Have you tried talking to him and asking for more support? Some men don't seem to see parenting (especially young children/babies) as their domain unfortunately, my ex was one of them. Could he take them out on weekends so you can do something nice for yourself or just catch up on sleep? Occasionally my parents or sister will do this for me, and I feel a million times better afterwards for having the space and can be more present for my daughter. It is sad our children have to see us like this, I have constant mummy guilt about not being the super fun, proactive mum I always thought I'd be. My meds were causing me unbearable fatigue, brain fog, and low motivation so I made the decision to come off them. I believe this is the right decision for myself and my daughter long-term. We just have to weather the storm for now xx

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im looking after my children aged 6 and 4 full time as been struggling to get my wife a visa, even though it is often difficult to look after them when having bad days I find they are massively helping me through this as they keep me so active with multiple school and nursery runs and out of school activities etc, also making me more determined to get 100% better as I am a much better father when not ill

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4 hours ago, Purplerain said:

 

Hi Lolita, nice to meet you. It's a real shame your husband doesn't help you out more, especially given how you're suffering at the moment. Have you tried talking to him and asking for more support? Some men don't seem to see parenting (especially young children/babies) as their domain unfortunately, my ex was one of them. Could he take them out on weekends so you can do something nice for yourself or just catch up on sleep? Occasionally my parents or sister will do this for me, and I feel a million times better afterwards for having the space and can be more present for my daughter. It is sad our children have to see us like this, I have constant mummy guilt about not being the super fun, proactive mum I always thought I'd be. My meds were causing me unbearable fatigue, brain fog, and low motivation so I made the decision to come off them. I believe this is the right decision for myself and my daughter long-term. We just have to weather the storm for now xx

Yeah i definitely need to have a talk with him about this, i never ask him to help me but i figured he should know i need help since i'm going through this rough time, he just doesn't get it, he helps with chores and make dinner sometimes, but the kids are always with me, i wsh i had my mom and sister here to help me but unfortunately they live all the way in Italy, i live in a state where i don't know anybody so it makes it more furstrating because i feel so lonely, i've always been an extrovert, i love being around friends and family and go out occasionally to have coffee or just have dinner but i feel like i have to go through this alone, how long ago did you stop the meds? Are you still having brain fog now? I stopped 5 weeks ago and i still have it, that and derealization, its a nightmare.

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2 hours ago, dj2010 said:

im looking after my children aged 6 and 4 full time as been struggling to get my wife a visa, even though it is often difficult to look after them when having bad days I find they are massively helping me through this as they keep me so active with multiple school and nursery runs and out of school activities etc, also making me more determined to get 100% better as I am a much better father when not ill

I understand what you mean dj2010 even though my kids make me tired at least they make me busy and make the day go faster, i just wish i was feeling better because i can't take them out to the park or to fun places like i'm suppose to, are you going through bad withdrawals? What are your symptoms? Mine is a constant brain fog that never goes away so im in this dreamy state 24/7....as far as the visa hang in there, they usually dont take too long, at least mine didn't, i moved here from Italy years ago.

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42 minutes ago, Lolitaheb said:

I understand what you mean dj2010 even though my kids make me tired at least they make me busy and make the day go faster, i just wish i was feeling better because i can't take them out to the park or to fun places like i'm suppose to, are you going through bad withdrawals? What are your symptoms? Mine is a constant brain fog that never goes away so im in this dreamy state 24/7....as far as the visa hang in there, they usually dont take too long, at least mine didn't, i moved here from Italy years ago.

dont feel guilty about not been able to do those things at the moment, you will be able to do them all when better,

 

symptoms are not too bad at the moment, just mainly been experiencing insomnia but its getting much better recently, still have brain fog on the day after I haven't slept great but all other days are fine, the visa is a nightmare, she was refused it in January, its been over a year now since we have seen her, awaiting some documents and then we are applying again so hopefully she will be here before christmas, 

 

if you havent tried meditation yet then it might be worth you trying, its helping me massively, i use the online course headspace, its very simple to use, also turmeric is helping me a lot,

 

take care

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Any of you experiencing social anxiety as a parent? I find it hard to socialize, and I am afraid my children will feel the same way I do around other people. 

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