Jump to content
Frogie

Frogie: Lexapro - how to taper off Lexapro and Xanax?

Recommended Posts

Frogie
42 minutes ago, apace41 said:

My thoughts are with you, Frogie. 

 

Try to remember the good times and the love you gave each other.

 

This will ease with time.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Thanks Andy:

 

I'm trying the best I can. I just keep thinking what if I would have given the antibiotics time to work. I only gave her 3 doses. But she wouldn't drink water or eat at all.

 

I just keep thinking I killed her, but the vet checked her and said no, it was her time.

 

I appreciate all the thoughts. I can't stop crying.

Share this post


Link to post
direstraits

please don't do that to yourself.

you gave her the best care possible.

the vet is right ,it was her time....she's free of her suffering now.

she'll live on in your heart forever.

please take good care of yourself.

big hugs,ds

xxx

Share this post


Link to post
Blondiee1915

Hi Frogie, 

 

I am so sorry about Brownie.   I found this Rainbow Bridge poem for Brownie:

 

"Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart."

Share this post


Link to post
Blondiee1915

Frogie - last year my aunt's dog had to be put to sleep.  She was 15 years old, Lilly.  I remember it happened on Easter I went to visit my aunt and saw how skinny and frail Lilly was, she was crying at night was going blind and not eating.  I held her in my arms for hours just rocking her because she was so uncomfortable.  I cried because I could not take seeing her in pain.  I understand people have different views and opinions but when an animal is in pain and is old and will not get better I think it is cruel to keep him/her in suffering and pain.  It will be okay.  Your pain will ease with time.    

Share this post


Link to post
Snowyowl16

Just reading about Brownie. I am so very sorry for your loss. Our pets never live long enough. 

Thinking of you..Hugs

Snowy

Share this post


Link to post
Frogie

HI DS, Blondiee and Snowy:

 

Thank you so much for all your kind words. And thank you Blondiee for the Rainbow Bridge.

 

I just have "what if's". What if I kept her on the antibiotics more than 3 doses, would she be well? Did I move too fast? I just feel like I killed her. 

 

I'm so lost. It's been 24 hours now, and I'm still waiting for her to come to me so I can pick her up and she can lay by me in my chair. She was 16. 

 

My heart actually hurts.

 

Thanks for thinking of me. It's greatly appreciated.

 

Hugs back to all of you.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
apace41

Hi, Frogie.  I know this is a hard time and there are other sites that may provide you with additional support.

 

You should look at the Association For Pet Loss and Bereavement which has a support forum and a lot of good reading and ideas to help you through this.

 

https://aplb.org/

 

You did nothing wrong.  You  loved her better than anyone else could have.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Share this post


Link to post
Dalalea

I've been away and just saw your posts. I'm so sorry about your Brownie! It's always so hard when we lose a pet. It will take awhile to feel back to normal, I'm sure. You are in my prayers. 🧡

Dalalea

Share this post


Link to post
Frogie
2 hours ago, apace41 said:

Hi, Frogie.  I know this is a hard time and there are other sites that may provide you with additional support.

 

You should look at the Association For Pet Loss and Bereavement which has a support forum and a lot of good reading and ideas to help you through this.

 

https://aplb.org/

 

You did nothing wrong.  You  loved her better than anyone else could have.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Ok Andy:

 

I won't mention it anymore.

 

But it's not MY fault that I wrote about it once and caring individuals commented. I think it does have to do with WD, if no one else does.

 

By the way, she was a certified therapy dog.

 

I'm very sorry if I offended anyone. It won't happen again. 

Share this post


Link to post
Frogie
39 minutes ago, Dalalea said:

I've been away and just saw your posts. I'm so sorry about your Brownie! It's always so hard when we lose a pet. It will take awhile to feel back to normal, I'm sure. You are in my prayers. 🧡

Dalalea

Thank you for your kind words.

Share this post


Link to post
joy2730

I haven't been getting my notifications properly Frogie.

 

I am so sorry Frogie - I know you have lost one of your main supports.  Animals give us such unconditional love - and they are so easy to love because of that.

 

It will take a long while for the pain to ease.  We have to be kind to our animals and let them be in peace - we owe them that.

 

Lots of love Joy

Share this post


Link to post
Frogie
1 minute ago, joy2730 said:

I haven't been getting my notifications properly Frogie.

 

I am so sorry Frogie - I know you have lost one of your main supports.  Animals give us such unconditional love - and they are so easy to love because of that.

 

It will take a long while for the pain to ease.  We have to be kind to our animals and let them be in peace - we owe them that.

 

Lots of love Joy

Thanks for the kind words. They are greatly appreciated.

Share this post


Link to post
apace41
9 hours ago, Frogie said:

Ok Andy:

 

I won't mention it anymore.

 

But it's not MY fault that I wrote about it once and caring individuals commented. I think it does have to do with WD, if no one else does.

 

By the way, she was a certified therapy dog.

 

I'm very sorry if I offended anyone. It won't happen again. 

 

You misinterpreted, Frogie.  I wasn't suggesting that you shouldn't post here!  I was trying to help you find sites that might provide ADDITIONAL support.  

 

Nobody is offended -- we all feel badly for you.

 

I understand you are hurting but lashing out at me isn't really the best way to handle it.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Share this post


Link to post
Frogie
15 minutes ago, apace41 said:

 

You misinterpreted, Frogie.  I wasn't suggesting that you shouldn't post here!  I was trying to help you find sites that might provide ADDITIONAL support.  

 

Nobody is offended -- we all feel badly for you.

 

I understand you are hurting but lashing out at me isn't really the best way to handle it.

 

Best,

 

Andy

I can't go to those sites right now, I'm sorry. I had a nice long talk with the vet about grieving. She cried right along with me. All I can think is I didn't give the antibiotics time to work and I killed her. 

 

I'm just very hurt right now.

 

i didn't mean to lash out at you, please forgive me.

Share this post


Link to post
apace41

I understand you need to work through the grieving process, Frogie, but to think that you "killed her" is not healthy.  You loved her as much as any owner can love any dog and blaming yourself is not proper thinking.  Have some self-compassion and in time things will look a lot better.

 

You will get through this.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Share this post


Link to post
Frogie
3 minutes ago, apace41 said:

I understand you need to work through the grieving process, Frogie, but to think that you "killed her" is not healthy.  You loved her as much as any owner can love any dog and blaming yourself is not proper thinking.  Have some self-compassion and in time things will look a lot better.

 

You will get through this.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Thanks,

 

But I do feel like I killed her because I didn't let the antibiotics work long enough. She only had 3 doses. But she wouldn't drink water at all Wednesday and just wanted me to hold her close to my chest. But she ate a little. I feel so guilty Andy it's not funny. Maybe if I would have given her water through a syringe, I could have gotten her drinking and eating again. I even cry in my sleep.

Share this post


Link to post
joy2730

Antibiotics alone are not the full.cure.  in the human care world we say that the antibiotics are only part of the battle - the body itself has to be able to repair itself and fight the infection too.  If the body can't help antibiotics will.not be enough.  On the farm a lot of animals have natural deaths as farmers can'you justify the cost of euthanasia - and the animals can have a very difficult time.  It is a relief when they eventually pass on.  You have not killed - you have chosen to avoid suffering and that is totally different.

 

Life and death are difficult issues in our largely sanitised world where we expect a cure for everything and people are afraid of death but life a few generations ago was very different.

 

Sadly Brownie had finished her long life no matter what you did - you just made the end more comfortable and dignified.

 

I don't want to sound tough but sometimes you have to touch base with reality.

 

Your capacity to love has been heightened by your love for Brownie.  Grief is the price of love.  Grief is natural.

 

Joy

Share this post


Link to post
Frogie
1 hour ago, joy2730 said:

Antibiotics alone are not the full.cure.  in the human care world we say that the antibiotics are only part of the battle - the body itself has to be able to repair itself and fight the infection too.  If the body can't help antibiotics will.not be enough.  On the farm a lot of animals have natural deaths as farmers can'you justify the cost of euthanasia - and the animals can have a very difficult time.  It is a relief when they eventually pass on.  You have not killed - you have chosen to avoid suffering and that is totally different.

 

Life and death are difficult issues in our largely sanitised world where we expect a cure for everything and people are afraid of death but life a few generations ago was very different.

 

Sadly Brownie had finished her long life no matter what you did - you just made the end more comfortable and dignified.

 

I don't want to sound tough but sometimes you have to touch base with reality.

 

Your capacity to love has been heightened by your love for Brownie.  Grief is the price of love.  Grief is natural.

 

Joy

Thanks Joy for the kind words. No matter what is said, I feel I didn't give the antibiotics a chance to even try to work. I only gave her 3 doses. I guess I will always think I killed her. Which the vet that has seen her forever said I didn't. She even cried. I'm so lost and broken-hearted it isn't funny. 

 

Thank you my friend for being there for me. It means a lot.

Share this post


Link to post
joy2730

Frogie - it is really hard for you.  You loved Brownie so much - your loss is terrible.  But you still have your love to give to another small dog or cat - your capacity to love has remained.  It is far too soon to have another animal but in the distant future you could love another but on a respectful way to Brownie.   Dogs and cats do not live as long as us and so we have to let them go.

 

You may be able to provide a home to an animal that is currently homeless or has been abused.

 

Please don't take this the wrong way - Brownie was blessed to have you and you did everything you could.  Grief is horrible.  Brownie dI'd not mean to cause you this grief - does your fiancée understand.

 

Joy

Share this post


Link to post
JanCarol

Hey Frogie - I am so sorry for your loss.

 

Ms. Squeak was with me for 19 years.  She saw 2 marriages, and twice as many boyfriends come and go.  She was there for me through thick & thin, manic & depressed, in at least 8-9 different houses.  

 

When she finally breathed her last (I was going to put her to sleep the next day, but she died at 4 am), I was wrecked & ruined for a long time.  Anywhere from 3 months to 3 years (depending on how you measure "wrecked & ruined", and I can still cry and get wistful to think of her.  I got drugged more deeply after Squeak died.  She and I were more than I could ever ask a little animal to be.

 

Be patient with yourself.  Grieve, cry, honour her memory with flowers or remember her when you feed birds, or see her places in your house. Make a shrine to honour her.  (I wanted to take her ashes and make a diamond, but instead she fertilised the garden.)   Remember these things - she stays alive in your heart and in your memory.  Don't push it away, try to forget, but instead, choose to feel it fully.  She was a gift to you, and by feeling her, and holding her memory in your heart, you honour that gift.

 

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

 

There's another story about hubby's cat-of-a-lifetime, Ms. Chookums, who fought until the very last.  We had to put her to sleep and it was hard, oh-so hard, because she fought us and resisted to her very last.  That memory still haunts me, even though it was 11 years ago now.  She, like Brownie, was 16.

So I hear what you are feeling, and it may be awhile before you feel whole again, it may be awhile before you are ready to get another companion.  Trust your heart, and allow yourself to grieve.  Be patient with yourself.  Please stop tapering or any other changes or experiments for awhile, maybe even 6 months, to take care of yourself.

 

{{{{MORE HUGS}}}}}


JanCarol

Share this post


Link to post
Frogie
16 minutes ago, JanCarol said:

Hey Frogie - I am so sorry for your loss.

 

Ms. Squeak was with me for 19 years.  She saw 2 marriages, and twice as many boyfriends come and go.  She was there for me through thick & thin, manic & depressed, in at least 8-9 different houses.  

 

When she finally breathed her last (I was going to put her to sleep the next day, but she died at 4 am), I was wrecked & ruined for a long time.  Anywhere from 3 months to 3 years (depending on how you measure "wrecked & ruined", and I can still cry and get wistful to think of her.  I got drugged more deeply after Squeak died.  She and I were more than I could ever ask a little animal to be.

 

Be patient with yourself.  Grieve, cry, honour her memory with flowers or remember her when you feed birds, or see her places in your house. Make a shrine to honour her.  (I wanted to take her ashes and make a diamond, but instead she fertilised the garden.)   Remember these things - she stays alive in your heart and in your memory.  Don't push it away, try to forget, but instead, choose to feel it fully.  She was a gift to you, and by feeling her, and holding her memory in your heart, you honour that gift.

 

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

 

There's another story about hubby's cat-of-a-lifetime, Ms. Chookums, who fought until the very last.  We had to put her to sleep and it was hard, oh-so hard, because she fought us and resisted to her very last.  That memory still haunts me, even though it was 11 years ago now.  She, like Brownie, was 16.

So I hear what you are feeling, and it may be awhile before you feel whole again, it may be awhile before you are ready to get another companion.  Trust your heart, and allow yourself to grieve.  Be patient with yourself.  Please stop tapering or any other changes or experiments for awhile, maybe even 6 months, to take care of yourself.

 

{{{{MORE HUGS}}}}}


JanCarol

Thank you so much JanCarol:

 

It is so hard right now. She was my everything. She had unconditional love even to the end. I feel so guilty because I didn't let the antibiotics work longer to see if she would still be alive. Even today, 3 1/2 days later, I can't stop crying. She's not in my chair with me, giving me Brownie kisses on my nose. I feel like I killed her. I really do. My dr wanted me to up my Lexapro (I had to go have my thyroid numbers checked). I told him absolutely not. I was in mourning, and didn't need more drugs! He was fine with that. I'll be ok, eventually. I had her cremated and she will be next to my other chihuahua that passed away 9 years go of a seizure. I just loved that little girl so much. I'm going to hold for a little while, but I am going to taper.  I've got to get off these evil meds. I think that's what's wrong with my thyroid. 

 

Thanks for thinking of me. You have no idea how much it means.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Frogie
On May 12, 2018 at 5:56 AM, joy2730 said:

Frogie - it is really hard for you.  You loved Brownie so much - your loss is terrible.  But you still have your love to give to another small dog or cat - your capacity to love has remained.  It is far too soon to have another animal but in the distant future you could love another but on a respectful way to Brownie.   Dogs and cats do not live as long as us and so we have to let them go.

 

You may be able to provide a home to an animal that is currently homeless or has been abused.

 

Please don't take this the wrong way - Brownie was blessed to have you and you did everything you could.  Grief is horrible.  Brownie dI'd not mean to cause you this grief - does your fiancée understand.

 

Joy

Thanks for the thoughts and kind words Joy

Share this post


Link to post
JanCarol
Posted (edited)
41 minutes ago, Frogie said:

but I am going to taper.  I've got to get off these evil meds.

 

I strongly suggest that you not taper for at least 3 months.

 

I would prefer 6.  

 

Times of distress are not times to taper.  They are times to hold.

 

Seriously, grieve your Brownie, but give your taper a rest.

 

Your thyroid is not horrible, it's a minor thing that you have anxiety about.  It would be better to wait on the taper until you can get through the days without bawling your eyes out.

Do you think it would be good for your thyroid to throw your body into crisis?

 

I do not.

If you are so worried about your thyroid - have you given up wheat?  That, and purifying your water of fluoride are the 2 best things you can do to support your thyroid.

 

Sorry for the strong language, but "Do not taper when things are hard" is a solid rule.  If you do choose to taper, and things get harder for you - well - you don't want to risk that, do you?

Edited by JanCarol

Share this post


Link to post
Gridley

I am so sorry, Frogie.

Share this post


Link to post
Frogie
5 minutes ago, JanCarol said:

 

I strongly suggest that you not taper for at least 3 months.

 

I would prefer 6.  

 

Times of distress are not times to taper.  They are times to hold.

 

Seriously, grieve your Brownie, but give your taper a rest.

 

Your thyroid is not horrible, it's a minor thing that you have anxiety about.  It would be better to wait on the taper until you can get through the days without bawling your eyes out.

Do you think it would be good for your thyroid to throw your body into crisis?

 

I do not.

If you are so worried about your thyroid - have you given up wheat?  That, and purifying your water of fluoride are the 2 best things you can do to support your thyroid.

 

Sorry for the strong language, but "Do not taper when things are hard" is a solid rule.  If you do choose to taper, and things get harder for you - well - you don't want to risk that, do you?

Can we keep in contact and see how I'm feeling? Maybe hold an extra month and go from there?

 

I always drink either filtered water or bottle water, never out of the tap. I haven't given up wheat completely, but I've cut back more than ever. I might eat something with wheat 2 -3 times a week instead of 2-3 times a day.

 

Today is Mother's Day, as you know. It's hard not having Brownie, my oldest son and my youngest son (he hasn't talked to me in 10 years). I'm getting used to my youngest not being around.

 

Yesterday I did pretty good. Went and printed 2 pictures of Brownie and I only cried 3 times for maybe 5 minutes. 

 

Frogie xx

Share this post


Link to post
Frogie
2 minutes ago, Gridley said:

I am so sorry, Frogie.

Thanks Gridley

Share this post


Link to post
JanCarol

Filtered water and bottled water can still contain fluoride.  See if your brands are on this list:

http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/salud/salud_fluor35.htm

 

Frogie, I'm just going by my own experience.  I needed Squeak, even though she wasn't a "companion animal," she was my best friend.  Even though I wasn't always kind to her, she was there for me.  When I lost her, it shattered me.  I didn't know who I was without her.  I ended up more deeply drugged as a result!  This is a time to be very very careful with drug changes!

 

One month isn't very long to mourn 16 years.  Seriously.  This will happen, like withdrawal, in windows and waves.  You might have days or weeks where you're feeling better than it might crash down with a song, a memory, an uncovered toy or sweeping up hair.  It will have unexpected effects for at least the next year.

 

Plan for 3 months.  If you have a miracle and are walking on clouds next month - I'll let it go.

And like I said, I'd prefer 6.

Share this post


Link to post
Bonzee

Sorry to hear about Brownie, Frogie. 

 

I'm sure you've thought of this, but is it feasible to get another animal to help fill the void? Even though no pet will ever compare to Brownie, at least having companionship may help the whole process be easier.

Share this post


Link to post
Frogie
20 minutes ago, JanCarol said:

Filtered water and bottled water can still contain fluoride.  See if your brands are on this list:

http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/salud/salud_fluor35.htm

 

Frogie, I'm just going by my own experience.  I needed Squeak, even though she wasn't a "companion animal," she was my best friend.  Even though I wasn't always kind to her, she was there for me.  When I lost her, it shattered me.  I didn't know who I was without her.  I ended up more deeply drugged as a result!  This is a time to be very very careful with drug changes!

 

One month isn't very long to mourn 16 years.  Seriously.  This will happen, like withdrawal, in windows and waves.  You might have days or weeks where you're feeling better than it might crash down with a song, a memory, an uncovered toy or sweeping up hair.  It will have unexpected effects for at least the next year.

 

Plan for 3 months.  If you have a miracle and are walking on clouds next month - I'll let it go.

And like I said, I'd prefer 6.

I will look at the list. The water I drink is on the list containing no fluoride.

 

But I need to get off these awful meds! I really want to taper a little the end of the month when I'm supposed to, but we will check then to see how I'm doing. I do have one thing to look forward to, we are moving home! Probably towards the end of the year. But no more he** hole. :)

 

I completely understand what you mean, hold, hold, hold.

 

Thanks for understanding. Hopefully a month will give me time. We will just wait and see.

 

Already cleaned everything up and donated it to the vet that took care of her forever.

 

But thanks for caring. I really appreciate it.

 

Frogie xx

Share this post


Link to post
Frogie
12 minutes ago, Bonzee said:

Sorry to hear about Brownie, Frogie. 

 

I'm sure you've thought of this, but is it feasible to get another animal to help fill the void? Even though no pet will ever compare to Brownie, at least having companionship may help the whole process be easier.

Thanks Bonzee for the kind words.

 

I'm not ready at all for another pet. Maybe in a year or so. Just have to see.

 

Frogie 

Share this post


Link to post
Rosetta

Oh, Frogie.  I know how awful this is.  I had to do this about 5 1/2 years ago.  My cat was 16, too.  Pancreatic cancer.  I had him since he was just weeks old.  I still miss him a lot.  The neuro emotions make it pretty tough some days, but I know I did the right thing.  He was very sick by the time I called to arrange things.  If only they could live with us as long as we do.

 

Hugs, Rosetta

Share this post


Link to post
Frogie
17 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Oh, Frogie.  I know how awful this is.  I had to do this about 5 1/2 years ago.  My cat was 16, too.  Pancreatic cancer.  I had him since he was just weeks old.  I still miss him a lot.  The neuro emotions make it pretty tough some days, but I know I did the right thing.  He was very sick by the time I called to arrange things.  If only they could live with us as long as we do.

 

Hugs, Rosetta

Thanks for your kind words they mean a lot. Brownie will be missed everyday 😢

Share this post


Link to post
Littlegrandma

Hi Frogie 

how are you doing? 

Just wanted you to know I’m thinking of ya.

Share this post


Link to post
Frogie
2 hours ago, Littlegrandma said:

Hi Frogie 

how are you doing? 

Just wanted you to know I’m thinking of ya.

Thanks. It was a week today I lost her. Then on Mother's Day I ended up with food poisoning.

 

Hasn't been much fun this week.

 

Hope you are doing well.

 

Frogie xx

Share this post


Link to post
Littlegrandma

Sorry Frogie. 

 

Did you go out for Mother’s Day?

just what you needed. Oy vey

on top of wd and everything else. 

 

Cutting lunesta is bringing worse anxiety ive ever experienced. 

Besides the nausea. I’m at my wits end. xx

Share this post


Link to post
Frogie
8 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

Sorry Frogie. 

 

Did you go out for Mother’s Day?

just what you needed. Oy vey

on top of wd and everything else. 

 

Cutting lunesta is bringing worse anxiety ive ever experienced. 

Besides the nausea. I’m at my wits end. xx

No stayed home. Had a Banquet chicken pot pie. About 5 hours later it hit me. Today is the 1st day I'm out of bed except for going to the dr yesterday.

 

Sorry to hear about the Lunesta. Hopefully it will calm down.

 

Hope you had a nice Mother's Day.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.