Agoraphobia

[Dani]

I think I may need to up the date of my surgery. Has anyone had surgery during withdrawal? If so, how has it affected your recovery?

[Altostrata]

Tell the surgeon and anesthesiologist you have drug sensitivities, particularly to neurologically active medications. You might call it "autonomic instability since I stopped Zoloft."

 

Make sure they take this seriously.

[Dani]

Okay. Thanks always Alto.

[niknash]

Dani,

 

Did you have agoraphobia and fear like this before coming off the med?

[Dani]

No, never experienced it before ):

[Rhiannon]

Agoraphobia is one of my two most disruptive withdrawal symptoms.

 

Since I have to work I have to get out of the house, but many days all I do is scuttle from house to car to work and then scuttle into the lab and stay there until it's time to scuttle back home again.

 

On the lighter side:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=48198.0

[Rhiannon]

No, never experienced it before ):

 

Then it will probably go away eventually as you heal from the Zoloft withdrawal. It can take some time.

 

I also find it helpful to be gentle and encouraging with myself. If I don't manage to get out of the house, I forgive myself. If I manage to get out and dig in my garden a bit, I congratulate myself and acknowledge that as an accomplishment. I try to find the things that are most do-able and, when I can, I do them, and when I can't, I am gentle with myself about it.

 

Driving isn't so much of a problem for me because I live in a very small town, no freeways, not much traffic. It's still hard to go to the grocery store although I find if I go just before they close when there aren't so many people there, it's easier.

 

This doesn't really answer your concerns, which seem to be more practical. Perhaps this approach could help a bit though if some time when you are frustrated and focused on the limitations, if you focus instead on the tiny successes, and taking tiny steps. I don't know, but it might help our brains, if we experience success and not always just failure...?

[Dani]

 

No, never experienced it before ):

 

Then it will probably go away eventually as you heal from the Zoloft withdrawal. It can take some time.

 

I also find it helpful to be gentle and encouraging with myself. If I don't manage to get out of the house, I forgive myself. If I manage to get out and dig in my garden a bit, I congratulate myself and acknowledge that as an accomplishment. I try to find the things that are most do-able and, when I can, I do them, and when I can't, I am gentle with myself about it.

 

Driving isn't so much of a problem for me because I live in a very small town, no freeways, not much traffic. It's still hard to go to the grocery store although I find if I go just before they close when there aren't so many people there, it's easier.

 

This doesn't really answer your concerns, which seem to be more practical. Perhaps this approach could help a bit though if some time when you are frustrated and focused on the limitations, if you focus instead on the tiny successes, and taking tiny steps. I don't know, but it might help our brains, if we experience success and not always just failure...?

 

 

 

I really get down on myself which is a big mistake. When I do manage to accomplish something, I don't give myself any praise or credit. But I'm starting to try and focus on more positive thinking. It's going to be hard but I will at least try to work on it. I do wish I had an easy button though lol

[Rhiannon]

Well, I say it like it's easy, but it takes practice and I am still a lot harder on myself than I'd like to be.

 

I think learning to be gentle with oneself is a good thing to practice. Even after I'm off all these meds (if that day ever comes...) that's a skill I hope to practice the rest of my life. I know for some people it's not that way, they probably make too many excuses for themselves, but I'm the other kind, who's always kicking myself and holding myself to higher standards than I do other people.

[Shanti]

So what exactly does Agoraphobia feel like? I don't feel like going anywhere or doing anything at all. It's not that I'm scared to, it's just a feeling like I can't do it. I have zero motivation to do anything at all. I only do a few things around the house that must be done. Even taking a shower takes a lot of building up of motivation to do. I have only felt like this the last couple of years and especially since starting to taper. Is this agoraphobia? I'm wondering because I do take the .5 Xanax before bed only. Yet I'm not feeling any kind of anxiety during the day. I just don't want to go anywhere and I don't know why. I am totally isolated.

[Dani]

So what exactly does Agoraphobia feel like? I don't feel like going anywhere or doing anything at all. It's not that I'm scared to, it's just a feeling like I can't do it. I have zero motivation to do anything at all. I only do a few things around the house that must be done. Even taking a shower takes a lot of building up of motivation to do. I have only felt like this the last couple of years and especially since starting to taper. Is this agoraphobia? I'm wondering because I do take the .5 Xanax before bed only. Yet I'm not feeling any kind of anxiety during the day. I just don't want to go anywhere and I don't know why. I am totally isolated.

 

Here is an explanation of agoraphobia.

 

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/agoraphobia/DS00894

[Nikki]

Dani many years back I was agoraphobic. I sent away for Lucinda Basset's CD's and workbook on Attacking Anxiety/Depression.

 

It was a huge, huge help. She has a book "From Panic to Power".

 

Basically agoraphobia is the fear of anxiety which we associate with going out to places.

 

I practiced "flooding" myself with going places and it removed the claustrophbia and the agoraphbia along with medication. At that time I took Pamelor which is a tricyclic.

 

Nikki

[Barbarannamated]

Shanti ~

I'm in the place you are- I don't feel primarily afraid or anxious but complete lack of motivation or desire to do anything including shower-

I feel some anxiety because I have no desire to do anything but alot of 'shoulds'- I SHOULD go out etc -

This is completely unfamiliar territory to me and I'm very isolated also -

Did you see the Anhedonia and Apathy threads - that describes me better - it's scary to feel nothing but occasional spurts of anger and negative emotions -

I do feel very defined stress about unresolved family issues and a few other things -

[Dani]

Dani many years back I was agoraphobic. I sent away for Lucinda Basset's CD's and workbook on Attacking Anxiety/Depression.

 

It was a huge, huge help. She has a book "From Panic to Power".

 

Basically agoraphobia is the fear of anxiety which we associate with going out to places.

 

I practiced "flooding" myself with going places and it removed the claustrophbia and the agoraphbia along with medication. At that time I took Pamelor which is a tricyclic.

 

Nikki

 

 

Hi Nikki,

 

Thank you for the suggestion. I'm going to look into it as soon as possible (:

[crista]

I too suffer from Agoraphobia. Here is an exercise and relaxation techniques that help me a little.

Treating Agoraphobia Exercise

 

Go on a walk around your neighborhood. Walk until your anxiety reaches a 5 on a scale of 1-10. Walk no further but do not return home. Just stroll around in the same area until your anxiety level drops to a 3. Then return home. Continue to do this for a few days. It should get easier and you should be able to go farther.

 

Relaxation Techniques

 

Here are some relaxation techniques that I have had success with. They all work best for me when I am laying down or sitting comfortably.

 

1. Square Breathing- What you do for this technique is draw a square in your mind as you concentrate on your breathing. You want to breathe from your diaphragm and not from your chest. You should see your stomach moving up and down with every breath. These breaths are more calming while breaths from your chest are more energizing.

 

• Breathe in for 4 seconds. As your stomach rises, imagine drawing the side of a square.
• Hold your breath for 4 seconds and imagine drawing the top of the square.
• Breathe out for 4 seconds. As your stomach goes down, draw the other side of the square in your mind.
• Hold your breath for 4 seconds and imagine drawing the bottom of the square, completing the shape.
• Continue to breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds, and hold for 4 seconds while drawing a square in your mind.

I usually do this around 10 times. You do not have to picture the square but I find that it helps me.

 

2. Visualization- For this technique, I try to involve my senses. I personally visualize a field of wild flowers (see your surroundings). I imagine the warm sun and the cool breeze (feel your surroundings). I imagine hearing birds chirping and the sound of a nearby babbling brook (hear the surroundings). I imagine smelling the air and the flowers (smell your surroundings). I like visualizing my own calming place but there are guided visualization tools like videos and recordings that might be helpful, too.

 

3. Progressive Muscle Relaxation- I use this technique the most. With regular practice, progressive muscle relaxation gives you a familiarity with what tension—as well as relaxation—feels like in different parts of the body. This awareness helps you spot and counteract the first signs of the muscular tension that accompanies stress. And as your body relaxes, so will your mind.

• Slowly tense the muscles in your right foot, squeezing as tightly as you can. Hold for a count of 10.
• Relax your right foot. Focus on the tension flowing away and the way your foot feels as it becomes limp and loose.
• Stay in this relaxed state for a moment, breathing deeply and slowly.
• When you’re ready, shift your attention to your left foot. Follow the same sequence of muscle tension and release.
• Move slowly up through your body, contracting and relaxing the muscle groups as you go.

I also find it calming to just relax each part of my body without tensing them up first.

 

Use these techniques, as well as other techniques whenever you are anxious. I used to use them during panic attacks and then I would panic more because I couldn’t calm down. The best thing for me to do during a panic attack is ride it out. I tell myself the following things and I always get through them:

 

• I know what this is. This is a panic attack.
• This wont hurt me. I am not in danger. I am not going to die.
• Stay strong. It will be over soon.

I hope you find these techniques and tips helpful. Remember, you are not alone and you will get through this, even if you feel like there is no way that you can. Stay strong and don’t give up.

 

Crista

[Altostrata]

Thanks for that excellent advice, crista.

 

(I combined the two agoraphobia topics so you didn't have to repeat yourself.)

[crista]

You're welcome. I hope people find it helpful. Thank you!

[crista]

Here's another thing that helps me... I made a playlist of relaxing songs and I listen to it while I sit on my deck and make bracelets. The calming music combined with being outside and keeping my mind occupied really helps. Sitting inside and thinking too much is the worst! If you want to give it a try, make a playlist or use mine ( http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLB386D5150A7A50F0 ) and get out while doing an activity.

[Dani]

I too suffer from Agoraphobia. Here is an exercise and relaxation techniques that help me a little.

Treating Agoraphobia Exercise

 

Go on a walk around your neighborhood. Walk until your anxiety reaches a 5 on a scale of 1-10. Walk no further but do not return home. Just stroll around in the same area until your anxiety level drops to a 3. Then return home. Continue to do this for a few days. It should get easier and you should be able to go farther.

 

Relaxation Techniques

 

Here are some relaxation techniques that I have had success with. They all work best for me when I am laying down or sitting comfortably.

 

1. Square Breathing- What you do for this technique is draw a square in your mind as you concentrate on your breathing. You want to breathe from your diaphragm and not from your chest. You should see your stomach moving up and down with every breath. These breaths are more calming while breaths from your chest are more energizing.

 

• Breathe in for 4 seconds. As your stomach rises, imagine drawing the side of a square.
• Hold your breath for 4 seconds and imagine drawing the top of the square.
• Breathe out for 4 seconds. As your stomach goes down, draw the other side of the square in your mind.
• Hold your breath for 4 seconds and imagine drawing the bottom of the square, completing the shape.
• Continue to breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds, and hold for 4 seconds while drawing a square in your mind.

I usually do this around 10 times. You do not have to picture the square but I find that it helps me.

 

2. Visualization- For this technique, I try to involve my senses. I personally visualize a field of wild flowers (see your surroundings). I imagine the warm sun and the cool breeze (feel your surroundings). I imagine hearing birds chirping and the sound of a nearby babbling brook (hear the surroundings). I imagine smelling the air and the flowers (smell your surroundings). I like visualizing my own calming place but there are guided visualization tools like videos and recordings that might be helpful, too.

 

3. Progressive Muscle Relaxation- I use this technique the most. With regular practice, progressive muscle relaxation gives you a familiarity with what tension—as well as relaxation—feels like in different parts of the body. This awareness helps you spot and counteract the first signs of the muscular tension that accompanies stress. And as your body relaxes, so will your mind.

• Slowly tense the muscles in your right foot, squeezing as tightly as you can. Hold for a count of 10.
• Relax your right foot. Focus on the tension flowing away and the way your foot feels as it becomes limp and loose.
• Stay in this relaxed state for a moment, breathing deeply and slowly.
• When you’re ready, shift your attention to your left foot. Follow the same sequence of muscle tension and release.
• Move slowly up through your body, contracting and relaxing the muscle groups as you go.

I also find it calming to just relax each part of my body without tensing them up first.

 

Use these techniques, as well as other techniques whenever you are anxious. I used to use them during panic attacks and then I would panic more because I couldn’t calm down. The best thing for me to do during a panic attack is ride it out. I tell myself the following things and I always get through them:

 

• I know what this is. This is a panic attack.
• This wont hurt me. I am not in danger. I am not going to die.
• Stay strong. It will be over soon.

I hope you find these techniques and tips helpful. Remember, you are not alone and you will get through this, even if you feel like there is no way that you can. Stay strong and don’t give up.

 

Crista

 

 

Thank you so much!!!

[Altostrata]

Knitting and crocheting are also supposed to be very calming.

[crista]

You're welcome, Silver star! Yes anything that you enjoy and will keep your mind busy is great!

[Nikki]

Alto... When I decided to cross over from Paxil to Lexapro I crocheted an Afghan. It was so helpful. I have yarn for a new Afghan....then again I have so many projects I could work on.

 

Gardening is helpful

[Dani]

I had two panic attacks this week. The one I had today started when my heart skipped a couple of beats and I started to feel lightheaded. I just knew today was the end. I feel very defeated... :(

[Nikki]

Hi Dani...

 

Panic attacks from or after a taper have that effect on us. Feeling defeated and scary.

 

Feelings aren't facts they are just feelings. You got off Zoloft and that is not defeating. It took guts and perseverance.

 

When you feel the slightest bit of panic....immediatley distract yourself. Jump up and down, throw water on your face or wear a rubber band around your wrist and when anxiety starts snap the rubber band.

 

What would you tell someone who was having a panic attack in front of you? You wold be very compassionate....so do that for yourself.

 

The distraction is the big thing.

 

It is hard to believe how much cortisol and adrenaline our bodies can produce...

 

Hugs

[Dani]

 

 

What would you tell someone who was having a panic attack in front of you? You wold be very compassionate....so do that for yourself.

 

The distraction is the big thing.

 

It is hard to believe how much cortisol and adrenaline our bodies can produce...

 

Hugs

 

Thank you for your words of encouragement. It's true...when my friend had a panic attack, I talked her thru it & kept her calm.

 

I will take your advice and use some sort of distraction. Sometimes when I drink water it helps. I'll try the rubber band around my wrist too. Anything that helps.

 

Thank you

*hugs**

[aileene]

It is easier for me, too, to go out with a friend. Going out to dinner with someone may help.  Also, I have heard that it is therapeutic to look out the window.  It made me feel better to do that when I was not on a schedule and spent a lot of time sleeping with depression.

 

I heard about a woman that was inside, agoraphobic  until she saw some kittens outside under her house and went out to take care of them several times and got over her agoraphobia.  I love animals and would do this too, if i saw kittens!

 

I am wondering how you are doing now.  it has been awhile since the last post.  

 

Also, I used to go to the DBSA and NAMI, mental health support groups.  It was very supportive and the people there all have various problems and are in the same boat.  I have met agoraphobics there who made it to the meeting.

 

Try to take baby steps each day to get better.  it doesn't have to be done all at once.

[Rhiannon]

I think for me the agoraphobia is something I really have to just force myself to "behave against." When I can manage to force myself (or if life forces me) to get out, and especially to be around other people if possible, I always invariably end up feeling much better than I felt at home.

 

The exception would be if I'm having a lot of trouble with sensory overload, in which case getting out is still important, but it's enough to just go outside and sit in the yard for a few minutes.  

 

Regardless, I never feel like doing it. I feel like I need to curl up in a cave. But I don't think it really does my brain any good to actually DO that. I think there's some kind of signaling going on saying that I'm sick, or something, that the organism needs to hide and protect itself. But it seems to me that actually DOING that actually just reinforces those pathways and makes it worse, and that what actually does help, for me, is just forcing myself to get out and stimulate a different set of pathways.

 

It took me a couple of years to figure this out and it's still very hard to force myself out and sometimes I just can't. 

[dekiru]

I'm 18 months off meds and agoraphobia has been constant since coming off them. I was put on them for anxiety and had slight agoraphobia then, but nothing like now. For me, it's the symptoms that cause it - I feel faint and panicky and sick so don't want to go outside. It's weird though because the first 8 months were very bad withdrawal symptoms (morning waking with huge anxiety like panic attacks) yet now the level of anxiety I wake with in the morning is significantly less but I still find it very hard to go out and especially use any form of transport.

I've been trying to make myself go for walks every day and attempt to take buses regularly (but only very short distances) but it's very hard to do. I hope things improve because I used to like travelling and have many places I'd like to visit.

[Barbarannamated]

I think I may have agoraphobia. I don't exactly feel anxiety or panic about going outside, but feel like it's a different world out there and I'm locked in my little inside world. The only places I have to go are doctor, chiropractor or to pick up prescriptions, all of which generate anxiety because of this whole experience with psychiatry, fear of running out of drugs and experiencing withdrawal.

 

Brandy mentioned above that the shower is problematic. It is very hard for me to shower. I used to think it was an energy or motivation issue, but I'm not sure anymore.

 

Any thoughts? I still feel so dissociated at 2.5 years out. It is much worse on dreary days like today.

 

ETA: Just for context... during early withdrawal, I drove by myself across the country for 4 months and felt no fear. I've always been an outdoors person and never experienced agoraphobia, social or other anxiety prior to withdrawal.

 

A friend who knows my situation well just wrote this:

"You have a strange form of agoraphobia. Yours isn’t the fear of leaving the house it is the dread of going back to the house that is the trauma. You avoid this trauma by not going out so you don’t have to come back."

[Petunia]

A friend who knows my situation well just wrote this:"You have a strange form of agoraphobia. Yours isn’t the fear of leaving the house it is the dread of going back to the house that is the trauma. You avoid this trauma by not going out so you don’t have to come back."

 

Do you agree with your friend?  Is this what you think causes it Barb?

 

I also have a kind of agoraphobia and have been trying to figure out what its related to, so I can 'fix' it.  What I've come up with so far is that mine is about sensory overload.

 

Unlike Barb (above) I prefer overcast, or dreary days.  I used to love bright, sunny days, but now when I peep out of my blinds and see the blinding, brightness of everything 'out there', I get images of endless, dry, waterless deserts where every form of life gets slowly baked as it hopelessly tries to drag itself towards a non-existent oasis.  I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but what I mean is that the sun and bright lights now trigger a negative association.

 

As soon as it starts to get dark outside, my body seems to relax, but I'm not sure if this is about light or the sun or heat or some other kind of energy related to the sun.  I also wont go outside if its windy, even if it is dark or overcast.  Not sure what that's about either, is it the sound, the movement of the trees or the feel of it against my skin?

 

Its like, unless its 'perfect' out there, going out just isn't worth the risk.  Perfect for me is dim lighting or dark with gentle street lights, comfortable temperature, no wind, rain is actually ok, don't mind getting a bit wet and don't bother taking an umbrella.

 

When I ask myself what it is I'm scared of, it comes down to this:

 

I'm scared that something is going to happen that I can't deal with, for example, the car will break down and I will be stuck, having to endure extreme sensations, being overwhelmed and not able to escape and get home to safety where I can control the environment.

 

When I do actually go out, even in less than ideal circumstances, I don't experience intense fear or panic, just a heightened kind of anxiety.  I find myself being extra careful so I don't have an accident, not because I'm afraid of being hurt or dying, but because I don't want to be stuck on the side of the road, in the heat or cold, or have to go to hospital where I can't control the lighting and noise level.

 

I've always been more sensitive than most people, but never to the point of letting it stop me from doing things, over the years I have learned to endure discomfort and toughen up considerably, but now, I seem as sensitive as a new born baby.

 

When driving, I hear every little noise my car makes, every change in the sound of the engine, each one alerts me to a potential problem, which translates to an imminent breakdown, which will have me standing in the blazing sun, surrounded by traffic while I wait for hours, alone for the breakdown service to arrive, if it ever does.  Three years ago, my attitude was, if it happens, I will deal with it.  And I have dealt with all kinds of stuff like that over the years.  But now, I have a sense that it will push me over some kind of edge, my stress meter is stuck on high and one more movement up will cause some kind of overload reaction and then permanent damage which I will never recover from.

 

I don't like walking to the store either, even though there is no car involved.  Its something about the world now feeling too big, too open, too intense, too real, everything around me seems to get in and trigger an unpleasant emotion or thought or image or memory.  I've lost my boundary or filter.

 

Have my senses become more finely tuned, or has something happened to my brain and I've lost my ability to filter out most of the irrelevant information coming at me?

 

I watch people 'out there', doing all the things I used to do.  But now I don't want to do any of it.  I tell myself its because I've done it all before, so what's the point, but I don't think that's the truth.

 

The world 'out there' now feels like a dangerous place to me because it actually does cause me physical discomfort at levels I now can't tolerate.  When my daughter sprays any kind of beauty product, anywhere in the house, within a minute, I can smell it, then taste it and I'm tasting it for about 2 hours.  So its not really even safe in here.  But we manage, I keep reminding her to spray in the bathroom and put the fan on, she usually remembers.

 

In the evening, when my body calms down, I start to imagine that my life can now, get back to normal.  I imagine myself going out the following day, doing some pleasant things in a calm, relaxed way, like I used to.

 

But every morning, when the sun breaks over the horizon, my body is back in its hyper-stimulated mode and sensations I hardly noticed the night before, once again become overwhelming.  I don't even have to see that its light,  its like my body knows and turns up its settings.

 

Exposure therapy, which works with 'normal' panic and agoraphobia, seems to have a paradoxical effect now, causing more trauma each time I force myself to experience something which feels overwhelming.

 

I don't know how to fix this and I'm getting more and more scared that my life really is over and this is as good as its going to get.

 

I seem to be trapped in a vicious cycle, my lifestyle is not particularly supportive or helpful, but my condition makes it impossible to get out there and do the things I would need to do to improve my lifestyle.

[Barbarannamated]

Petu,

 

You have an AMAZING ability to consistently put words to how I'm feeling. I do feel much of what you describe in addition to my friend's assessment being spot on. Top that with your description:

 

"I seem to be trapped in a vicious cycle, my lifestyle is not particularly supportive or helpful, but my condition makes it impossible to get out there and do the things I would need to do to improve my lifestyle." and I feel paralyzed, frozen.

 

Others have spoken of being unable to force themselves out during withdrawal ("I don't want to!" "I CAN'T" - Rhi and Jemima, I believe), so I hope that this will ease up as it has for others. I think it's a combination of apathy, emotional anesthesia and sensory overload/agoraphobia. Overall, I'm feeling somewhat improved over last year but haven't had reasons to get out of house as I did last year when we traveled to vegas frequently to see my ill mother-in-law. I did not feel this paralyzed in Vegas when I had places to be and was not so isolated. MIL passed away 5 months ago and that is when I became even more homebound. Thank you for helping me to realize that.

 

This description is how I feel during our brutally hot, bone dry summers:

"I get images of endless, dry, waterless deserts where every form of life gets slowly baked as it hopelessly tries to drag itself towards a non-existent oasis."

 

Wind has always been unnerving to me. Horses are also notoriously high strung on windy days because it interferes with their ability to hear and assess their environment for danger -- their fight or flight instinct is compromised.

 

You are a tremendous gift to this forum, Petu. I'm sorry that you are suffering so badly.

[ADropInTheOcean]

Hey.

I was put on ssris for anxiety but after like 4 years i started to have severe agoraphobia to the point in which i could go out only by car...but couldnt leave the car...and started to wanna be alone..isolated. Probably its me but im wondering if a ssri poop out could cause agoraphobia...although i doubt it

[RubyTuesday]

as far as I am concerned a SSRI overdose could quite definitely bring on a state of agorophobia.

I think I had some trace of agorophobia before but I could manage it. after the Great Psych Med Drama it is much harder to manage it, so I just stay home or in the car. I eat mostly at drive thrus. not very healthy.

[Horns85]

Thanks to you both. I agree it's horrible. It's fear fueled anxiety is how I wouk describe it. 8/10 it's about things I shouldn't even worry about.

[Petunia]

Withdrawal and adverse effects from drugs can cause agoraphobia.  The reason for this kind of agoraphobia can be quite different from 'normal' agoraphobia because its caused by wanting to avoid additional stress and discomfort from existing symptoms, which could be exacerbated by going out into the busy world.  These symptoms could be extreme sensitivity to all kinds of stimulation or the frightening feelings of derealization and depersonalization. 

 

I've had this kind of agoraphobia through my withdrawal.

 

There is some discussion in this topic here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1805-agoraphobia-extreme-fear-panic/  (topics merged)

Edited July 23, 2015 by Petunia
updated

[Rhiannon]

It turns out that these drugs have unexpected long-term effects. I believe it's actually more complicated than "poop-out," whatever that is.

 

Actually we don't know what causes "poop-out" either, it's got to be due to changes in the nervous system, and the way these drugs change our nervous system over the long term has never been studied. Those long-term changes can cause a range of problems. Unfortunately the effects of the drugs are not studied over the long term. Most studies go no longer than three months, and I don't know of any in which patients were observed for even one year, let alone several. And of course as you may know, almost all the studies on these drugs that were paid for by the companies selling them (which is most of the studies that have been done) have been found to be deeply flawed and distorted.

 

It seems to be fairly common to experience psychological deterioration over the long term on these drugs, because disability due to mental illness has been skyrocketing since they have been being prescribed.

 

I had agoraphobia while on benzos and ADs and also have it in withdrawal. Also a decreased ability for and interest in social connections with others, and increased anxiety and dysfunction in life in general. It sounds like you were on multiple meds as well, so I'm guessing you were having some of those long-term not-so-beneficial effects. You may find the book Anatomy of an Epidemic (by Robert Whitaker) interesting and enlightening. I highly recommend it to anyone with a history like yours and mine.