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Djderek

Djderek I had pssd!

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Djderek   
Djderek

A year ago I came off effexor and Prozac. !! I developed insomnia, obsessive ruminations.. I felt very stressed!! All the time. Then one day I realized... I have no libido!! No sexual or emotional energy. I felt numb!! I tried suicide.. I somehow believed I was damaged. I went downhill fast. I quit my job, lost my fiance. I tried to end my life. I ended up in the psych ward.

 

Long story short. I met a yogi. I was in a bad place in my head. Non stop ruminations. Chronic disabling insomnia. Complete numbness. I began to meditate and practice yoga. In other words, I gained awareness of my mind, and how it was making me sick. I abstained from masturbation for the past eight months. I've mastered my mind. I found God!

 

Now,just in the past two months, my body has regained it's natural warmness. I feel once again , Pleasure! My body tingles with sensations in which I thought I've lost forever. I started feeling emotional last month . Someone in this movie was crying, and I felt his pain.. And I cried.. My stomach dropped and my breath left me. I let go.

 

My depression is almost gone too!! I find myself laughing..! Even smiling!! Loving. . feeling peace, at last. I haven't felt this in years..

 

When I used to participate in negative conversations, I became consumed with hopelessness. I negative feedback loop if you will. I bought into the idea that I was damned for life. My mind wouldn't let go of this idea, until I gained awareness of my mind and it's conditioned cycles of repetitive negative thought. Feeding my depression.

 

Now, I wake up, spend ten minutes watching what my mind comes up with, and I breath..gently.. And they come and go.. As I'm typing this, I have full bodily sensation. The nerves in my body feel alive.

 

Much love to everyone!! Never give up!!

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NoMoreADs   
NoMoreADs

Hi, I'm so glad you are doing well. How long after taking your last pill did the insomnia to go away?

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Djderek   
Djderek

The insomnia lasted around five month's for me. It was followed by a chronically fatigued like state where I slept and slept . Thanks!

 

If you have insomnia, your either trying too hard to sleep, or your thinking and thinking over and over and over. Thats how it was for me. I eventually crashed .

 

Ill pray for you!

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ChessieCat   
ChessieCat

H Djderek,

 

Welcome to SA.

 

It will be helpful if you would Please put your Withdrawal History in Signature.  Details of the 12 months prior to you stopping the drugs and a summary of anything prior.  Please include all drugs, dates and doses and how you decreased/increased your doses.  Did you alternate doses, alternate days or CT?  Did you do a Prozac bridge?  If it was a Prozac bridge, was it a cold switch or a cross-taper?

 

Also, what was your reason/s for coming of the drugs?  Were you experiencing side effects?  Also, did you follow a doctor's suggestion on how to get off the drug or did you do it on your own?

 

I am sure many members here will be interested in your drug history.

 

If you click "Follow" top right you will be notified when someone responds.

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theloneranger86   
theloneranger86

DjDerek Would you recommend yoga for PSSD ? I dont think Psychiatrist know **** , and I have lost so much trust in doctors. Do you think it was yoga that cured you ?

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Djderek   
Djderek

I'm not sure. I think time, rest, exercise and being active eventually changed things for me

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Altostrata   
Altostrata

I'm not sure. I think time, rest, exercise and being active eventually changed things for me

 

I think this is the key. Also, listen to your body and care for it by giving it what it says it needs. Thanks for telling us about this, Djderek.

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cinephile   
cinephile
Quote

Long story short. I met a yogi. I was in a bad place in my head. Non stop ruminations. Chronic disabling insomnia. Complete numbness. I began to meditate and practice yoga. In other words, I gained awareness of my mind, and how it was making me sick. I abstained from masturbation for the past eight months. I've mastered my mind. I found God!

This is astonishingly similar to what has happened to me in the 10 years since I've had this horrible affliction.  I remember three discrete times where I "listened to my body" or just "let go" and I had 100% restoration of my sexual function:

1) When my friend came to visit me in Texas circa 2007/2008.  I can't stress enough how healing this was to me.  I felt incredibly lost and lonely when I moved to Texas from Massachusetts after college.  Having him with me was like a connection to my past -- it was comfort itself.  I remember my sexual function -- MY DRIVE -- returned during that trip.  Then we he left, it left.

2) When I moved back to MA I rented a room from a disturbed individual with borderline personality disorder (I was in a nursing program and could not afford my own apartment).  Needless to say, it was extremely stressful.  Then he and his "wife" (long story) left for a week-long vacation.  ALl of a sudden I felt an enormous burden lifted.  I had the place to myself!  My sexual function returned with a vengeance.  I mean, I had some of hte strongest orgasms I've ever had.  They were exhilarating, they even left me mildly nauseous afterward they were so good! Then when these people came back, just like that my functioning was gone.

3) My last experience was when I moved to my new apartment in MA about 8 years ago.  I got into a deep meditative state and "accessed" the trauma and upheaval of the last three years -- I'll never forget it.  It was like the trauma was a boulder pressing against my face, threatening to crush me.  I awoke in terror, and had high anxiety for about half an hour.  But then an incredible sense of calm and acceptance came over me.  As you say, my body "[had] regained it's natural warmness. I [felt] once again , Pleasure! My body tingled with sensations in which I thought I've lost forever."  That's exactly what it felt like.  And to my delight, I woke up and I had 100% functioning again.  It lasted for two glorious days.  And I just felt MORE ALIVE -- I smelled things more acutely than ever before.  Things felt 3D -- I was completely within my body. It was amazing.
 

I also have begun yoga, as well as regular aerobic exercise with reasonable strength training.  It makes a difference.  Sometimes a shocking difference.  Yoga in particular has taught me that I never really knew how to care for myself -- to be compassionate.  It made me realize how negative a person I am, and how easy it is for me to get "locked into" negative thoughts and ruminating.  I find the slower/more gentler the yoga, the better.  It helps me be more mindful and compassionate.  Sure, it hasn't helped my PSSD directly, but I suspect it may take quite a bit of time to remove layers of negative thinking, deep, clutching terror and hopelessness accrued over years before these healthy habits get to the core symptoms -- my sexual functioning.  The relaxation that yoga, exercise and mindful breathing brings may make accessing these feelings of deep hurt and fear easier over time, and easier for me to access my trauma, which might set me free one day and get rid of this horrendous condition once and for all.

 

**I don't think it's entirely a coincidence that the more I withdrew into myself as the years passed and gave into horror and rumination, the less often these breakthrough moments of function restoration occurred, until they finally stopped.

 

PS: Hey Alto :).  So glad you're still doing what you're doing.  Keep up this essential work.

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jescowhite   
jescowhite
On 8/9/2016 at 7:23 PM, Djderek said:

A year ago I came off effexor and Prozac. !! I developed insomnia, obsessive ruminations.. I felt very stressed!! All the time. Then one day I realized... I have no libido!! No sexual or emotional energy. I felt numb!! I tried suicide.. I somehow believed I was damaged. I went downhill fast. I quit my job, lost my fiance. I tried to end my life. I ended up in the psych ward.

 

Long story short. I met a yogi. I was in a bad place in my head. Non stop ruminations. Chronic disabling insomnia. Complete numbness. I began to meditate and practice yoga. In other words, I gained awareness of my mind, and how it was making me sick. I abstained from masturbation for the past eight months. I've mastered my mind. I found God!

 

Now,just in the past two months, my body has regained it's natural warmness. I feel once again , Pleasure! My body tingles with sensations in which I thought I've lost forever. I started feeling emotional last month . Someone in this movie was crying, and I felt his pain.. And I cried.. My stomach dropped and my breath left me. I let go.

 

My depression is almost gone too!! I find myself laughing..! Even smiling!! Loving. . feeling peace, at last. I haven't felt this in years..

 

When I used to participate in negative conversations, I became consumed with hopelessness. I negative feedback loop if you will. I bought into the idea that I was damned for life. My mind wouldn't let go of this idea, until I gained awareness of my mind and it's conditioned cycles of repetitive negative thought. Feeding my depression.

 

Now, I wake up, spend ten minutes watching what my mind comes up with, and I breath..gently.. And they come and go.. As I'm typing this, I have full bodily sensation. The nerves in my body feel alive.

 

Much love to everyone!! Never give up!!

 

 

Hello Djderek! Thanks for sharing, that gives me hope. I have real bad PSSD.

 

Did you experienced penile atrophy (permanent penis shrinkage) and soft glans?

 

I think these are my worst symptoms. Penis shrinked so much in last year and glans never gets filled with blood. Btw i have no libido, no morning or spontaneous erections, water semen, numb orgasm, weak erection quality and genital numbness.

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