Eleven10: 30 months off Prozac

[Altostrata]

joy, please do not advise people to take drugs at ordinary doses, just about everybody on this site has tried this and felt worse. If that kind of advice worked, there would be no reason for this site to exist.

 

Eleven, please add the lamotrigine dosage information to your signature. I'm sorry to ask you again, but I don't remember -- how long have you been on lamotrigine, how much are you taking, what time of day do you take it, how have your symptoms changed since you started taking it?

[joy2730]

Hi Eleven10

 

How are you feeling today?  Any better?  More hopeful?  Which country are you in by the way? 

 

It is much sunnier in the UK today which is good.

 

Joy

[samanthaelizabeth]

36 minutes ago, FSL said:

All due respect I think it is beyond belief that when someone reports here that can't sleep for several nights, is ridden with anxiety, ridden with uncontrollable rage to the point of self harm punching furniture, has lost the will to live and is likely suicidal, is being advised to not take any medication and just try to hang on. 

 

Again with all due respect a person that is out of control like this shouldn't even be trying to get help here as help here is always limited to what we can advise on someone that has the minimum required to look after him or herself. Which is not the case based on this member last post.

 

This member needs urgent medical assistance, it's common sense, and has nothing to do with the belief we hold about psychiatric drugs. 

 

If I were a neighbour and saw this kind of behaviour I had the duty of care and report the situation to the authorities or 999 whatever.

 

God bless u Eleven10.  

 

 

 

 

I agree with you.

[samanthaelizabeth]

On 2/12/2018 at 1:31 AM, Eleven10 said:

Iv got 3 nights with 2 hrs sleep. I feel terrified all night like someone or thing is coming in my room. I'm scared to close my eyes all night, I'm on high alert constantly. Then the cortisol rushes come at 6.30 every morning. It's totally insane that it's still happening after 4+ years. I genuinely don't see any point in living anymore. My quality of life is very low, I can't even watch tele much or have a conversation more that a few words. My brain is completely impaired. 

I get very very angry and smash things, I punched my wardrobe so hard I couldn't use my hand for a week. Iv never had a temper but I do remember pre meds being hyper alert a lot, not like now but definitely over alert. 

I have taken some terrible advice in waiting and waiting this out, I should have tried my hardest to get back on the Prozac 4 years ago, nobody should have been what Iv been through for so long. 

The lamotrigine is doing nothing at this dose and iv no dr to ask if to increase it, it was prescribed privately from a dr many miles away and I'm not there patient. My gp won't advise me on it. 

 

I know someone who had spect scans and they showed TBI damage but I don't have the energy to even try to get those scans on the NHS. 

 

I would gladly agree to just ten more years of life if they could be back on Prozac and physically well. 

 

This is all too much for me and I have nothing and no one to help me fix it 

 

 

You need to get some help.  Just enough to stabilize you and then go from there.

[Shep]

10 hours ago, FSL said:

All due respect I think it is beyond belief that when someone reports here that can't sleep for several nights, is ridden with anxiety, ridden with uncontrollable rage to the point of self harm punching furniture, has lost the will to live and is likely suicidal, is being advised to not take any medication and just try to hang on. 

 

 

FSL, I think you mis-read Alto's post. She didn't post to "not take any medication". She wrote:

 

On 2/14/2018 at 6:27 PM, Altostrata said:

joy, please do not advise people to take drugs at ordinary doses, just about everybody on this site has tried this and felt worse. If that kind of advice worked, there would be no reason for this site to exist.

 

It's the "ordinary dose" that was being addressed. Once the nervous system has been through withdrawal, it can be very dangerous to add back in a drug at a regular dose. You need to start small and titrate up, if needed. 

 

10 hours ago, FSL said:

Again with all due respect a person that is out of control like this shouldn't even be trying to get help here as help here is always limited to what we can advise on someone that has the minimum required to look after him or herself. Which is not the case based on this member last post.

 

This member needs urgent medical assistance, it's common sense, and has nothing to do with the belief we hold about psychiatric drugs. 

 

If I were a neighbour and saw this kind of behaviour I had the duty of care and report the situation to the authorities or 999 whatever.

 

Please read through Eleven's entire thread - on-the-ground resources have been suggested. 

 

 

Edited February 21, 2018 by Shep
fixed typo

[Shep]

39 minutes ago, FSL said:

And Eleven10 thread is full of comments like this, passing a message that you are unfortunate, doomed, pitiful for reinstating rather than hanging on to wd suffering. (please don't expect me to go through the entire thread and quote many answers to Eleven10 just to prove a point). 

 

Sometimes this black or white way of thinking can be problematic.

 

When working by text-only communication, a lot of nuance is lost.

 

We also are dealing with multiple countries and multiple cultures where someone may take one phrase one way and another, a different way. 

 

 

39 minutes ago, FSL said:

Finally, I want to say that I deeply respect this community and I'm wishing Eleven10 the best. Breaks my heart reading some of her posts that's all.

 

I think we all feel this way, FSL. For Eleven and for everyone here who is suffering. 

 

The words we choose are not always going to be what people want to hear, but in the overall aspect of this crisis, I think we are all saying the same thing.

 

And by the way, Alto has said many, many times that people are not "doomed" by their current situation. Please also have a read of those kinds of posts, of which there are many. I have NEVER read anywhere where Alto told any member they were "doomed" by their situation. 

 

 

Edited February 21, 2018 by Shep

[Terry4949]

I agree FSL there comes a point when we have to seek medical help if not just for our own safety I am very similar to eleven10 and I have been battling for 4 years and I’m so much worse I would like recovery to happen to everyone and myself but I have to live to see it I have now endured months and months of suicidel anxiety and depression that I can’t physically hold on anymore so I have a appointment tomorrow to get some help , I am also like eleven10 now I am more frightened of taking a drug because it may make things physically worse than I am , not that it can get any worse but I just won’t make it if I don’t , alto and all the moderators give good advice which they have learnt through experience and it has been invaluable to people but they can see that for some it is overwhelming and that you may need to seek medical help so they suggest you start small which is a good idea , I think that I have left it to late and maybe I should  have tried to stabilise on something early now I believe I have no choice like eleven10 I am scared 

[Shep]

27 minutes ago, FSL said:

I didn't say she said that or she would have to be heartless to say something like that. 

 

FSL,  I responded like I did because you had quoted Alto's post here and said it "didn't make sense" and you bolded the part that you had problems with.  I'm sorry for assuming you were singling her out, but when you quote someone like that, it's a natural assumption. 

 

I am leaving this thread be, as it needs to be a quiet space for Eleven to post for support. 

 

[joy2730]

HI Eleven10

 

If you are reading this the recent suggestions that you need professional help now may be good advice.  Recently I thought you said your doctors sigh when you go to them.  Take their advice and then get off the meds when you are in a better place.

 

Joy

[Altostrata]

If any of you wish to call 911 or equivalent for Eleven10, feel free to do so.

 

This is a site for going off drugs. We definitely have seen that it can take time for someone's nervous system to settle down after an adverse reaction, and slamming the nervous system with more drugs after an injury can make it much worse. (A little lamotrigine, however, sometimes will help, but it can be gradual, you have to give it a chance.)

 

If we could immediately solve Eleven10's, or anyone's, problems, on this site, we surely would. If we knew doctors who can solve these problems, we'd urge everyone to go to those doctors, and I would close up this site. Eleven10 is free to consult with as many doctors as she wants. Unfortunately, like most of us here, she's been unable to find that knowledgeable medical help.

 

Please do not derail Eleven10's Introductions topic with your opinions of how things should work when you know very well they do not work that way. If you don't like our methods, which are basically to move very cautiously with psychiatric drugs, by all means, go somewhere else. You are free to seek the dramatic drug miracle that will instantly fix your problems.

 

 

[Altostrata]

On 11/2/2017 at 4:00 PM, Altostrata said:

The liquid form gets into your system faster, but it lasts just as long.

 

How are you feeling now, eleven10? What is your daily symptom pattern, when do you take your drugs, and at what dosages? Please keep notes on paper.

 

^ Please allow me to point out that this type of information is absolutely essential for visualizing which way Eleven10 might go for symptom relief. With all the uproar in this topic, this question was never answered.

 

The uproar leaves Eleven10 flailing around.

 

Maybe you can't see the reason for our wanting to know how a particular drug at a particular dosage affects someone, and you feel obligated to change the subject. If our asking for symptom pattern seems irrelevant to you, please excuse yourself from this site henceforth.

 

[joy2730]

Noone would know her address so that iis not ptactical.   Hi Eleven10 if you are reading this let me know how you are doing

 

Joy

[coldturkmama]

I hope everything is okay. 

I always come to check on you but I never say anything. Please check in.

[Eleven10]

Hi everyone 

nothing much has changed for me. I was given lamotrgene on a private script but my dr has made it clear she will not support this or give me the drug even if it helps so there is not a lot of point trying it. I have a 2-4 month supply but can not afford to keep seeing a private dr and paying for a private script. £200 to see the dr and £49 for a script.

i do feel my nervous system has settled a little in the last few months. I discovered this whilst lying in bed and my daughter in another room dropped something on the wooden floor. A few months ago I would have been filled with adrenaline and awake all night but I felt nothing much.

this should be call for celebration and it is in a way but I feel physically and mentally worse than ever. Maybe the years of massive cortisol rushes have finally exhausted my system. 

I have a daily exhaustion that is difficult to describe. I cannot function in any capacity except on very rare occasions until mid afternoon. Making a cup of tea or washing the pots is beyond me. I will boil the kettle many many time but never be able to get it together to do the rest. I have a migraine headache everyday. My neck shoulders and upper back are still ridged from the initial withdrawal 5 years ago. My psychiatrist has finally agreed this was a extrapydimal effect. 

I cannot hold myself in a chair for more than a few minutes, the pain at trying to sit normally is awful.

I sometimes get a rush of energy late at night. I swear the next day will be different but it’s just the same as the last 4.75 years.

the depression is deeper than ever. I think it’s because I always thought 4 years would see a turning point. Also iv never wanted to be well as much as I do now. 

My psychiatrist has agreed to trauma therapy for the withdrawal but says it is an obsession with medication. She wants me to try a anti psychotic to calm my thought. I don’t need to discuss this as I have no intention of trying that. Iv never had a psychotic thought in my life. 

My sleep is terrible. I wake every hour so stiff I’m unable to move. My ears ring constantly.

I have Amitriptyline for pain and want to try it. 

I also have liquid Prozac and lorazepam.

my psych has given it me all and said try it don’t try it. Until I loose capacity she can’t do much more 

 

Iv always be so happy. I want it back so much. The headaches alone are enough to finish anyone. If I could come through this I’d be bulletproof 

Wish I had better news 

[coldturkmama]

On 8/1/2018 at 1:09 PM, Eleven10 said:

Hi everyone 

nothing much has changed for me. I was given lamotrgene on a private script but my dr has made it clear she will not support this or give me the drug even if it helps so there is not a lot of point trying it. I have a 2-4 month supply but can not afford to keep seeing a private dr and paying for a private script. £200 to see the dr and £49 for a script.

i do feel my nervous system has settled a little in the last few months. I discovered this whilst lying in bed and my daughter in another room dropped something on the wooden floor. A few months ago I would have been filled with adrenaline and awake all night but I felt nothing much.

this should be call for celebration and it is in a way but I feel physically and mentally worse than ever. Maybe the years of massive cortisol rushes have finally exhausted my system. 

I have a daily exhaustion that is difficult to describe. I cannot function in any capacity except on very rare occasions until mid afternoon. Making a cup of tea or washing the pots is beyond me. I will boil the kettle many many time but never be able to get it together to do the rest. I have a migraine headache everyday. My neck shoulders and upper back are still ridged from the initial withdrawal 5 years ago. My psychiatrist has finally agreed this was a extrapydimal effect. 

I cannot hold myself in a chair for more than a few minutes, the pain at trying to sit normally is awful.

I sometimes get a rush of energy late at night. I swear the next day will be different but it’s just the same as the last 4.75 years.

the depression is deeper than ever. I think it’s because I always thought 4 years would see a turning point. Also iv never wanted to be well as much as I do now. 

My psychiatrist has agreed to trauma therapy for the withdrawal but says it is an obsession with medication. She wants me to try a anti psychotic to calm my thought. I don’t need to discuss this as I have no intention of trying that. Iv never had a psychotic thought in my life. 

My sleep is terrible. I wake every hour so stiff I’m unable to move. My ears ring constantly.

I have Amitriptyline for pain and want to try it. 

I also have liquid Prozac and lorazepam.

my psych has given it me all and said try it don’t try it. Until I loose capacity she can’t do much more 

 

Iv always be so happy. I want it back so much. The headaches alone are enough to finish anyone. If I could come through this I’d be bulletproof 

Wish I had better news 

 

I’m so sorry you’re suffering so much. I wish healing would come to you. 💕

[Eleven10]

Thank you CTM. Your always so kind x

[jonnypeters1234567]

how are you feeling eleven10?

[Eleven10]

Hi. Very tired, ears screaming. Awake at 5 with huge rushes again. 

Need to settle my system somehow. 😞

[Eleven10]

I really need some advise as I’m really not fully able to make decisions.

im rocking up to 5 years of ADs and still suffering badly. The last 2 months has seen a big dip in mood and it was very bad to start with. I feel suicidal most days. I think it’s because iv lost hope of improving. In the early days I was desperately ill but clung to the hope I had better days ahead.

im no different than 2 years off in some ways much worse.

im not in withdrawal as much as suffering the severe legacy effects of withdrawal.

my nervous system is still raw. I sleep very little still and still spend most of the night with that awful feeling of being on the edge of sleep but not quite able to fall into it. It’s torture.

i have severe pain in my neck, shoulder and upper back. This started when I had akathesia and the muscles froze solid. They never relaxed.

i feel irritated and angry all the time. So much so I isolate myself as I hate trying to control my anger. I’m not a very nice person to be around. 

I’m so traumatised by the last 5 years I don’t see how I will ever recover. Even if by some huge miracle I manage to get on a AD and feel better I don’t know how I will deal with losing 5 years and living with the possibility even likelyhood of or happening again.

 

im so fatigued I can’t wash, cook or dress. I have migraine type headache every single day and the tinnitus never stops. The light hurts my eyes and I’m constantly dizzy. My mood is so low it feels like a physical pain that I can describe, it feels like a disease eating away at me and I literally writhe around on the floor trying to escape it.  It’s worse after more sleep. If I sleep more than 7 hrs and dream a lot I know I’m in for a horrific day of deep depression and physically torture. 

 

i wish I could go back and not stop Prozac. Prozac never pooped out or caused side effects really, I just thought I could manage without it.  I was very stable on 10mg. That’s not to say I don’t know that the drugs have caused this or cause others deep suffering but it’s irrelevant if I’m in so much pain what caused the pain. 

 

Im so scared of meds that In 5 years iv never given anything a proper trial. I took one sertraline at 50mgs which made everything much much worse but that was 4 and half years ago. Iv tried since but always freaked out after a few days. Iv tried nothing in a long time.

 

i have Amitriptyline, liquid Prozac, lorazepam, lamoregiene 3 month supply (. my dr won’t prescribe this again) 

 

please someone help me try to improve. I want to try for my family 

[Rosetta]

I'm so sorry you are so ill.  The only thing I know to suggest is to stay away from more drugs and toxins.  It seems to be the only safe course of action.  I know this feels as if you are doing nothing, but avoiding drugs is doing something very important.  You are letting the nervous system heal.  It takes a long time.  

 

I honestly believe that because you are suffering as much as you are you should be very careful to avoid any possible toxin.  Unfortunately, we are trained to believe there should be a medical answer, and there should be especially given that the drugs caused this dysfunction.  However, there is no acknowledgement of the problem by the people who have the power to develop a cure.  Acknowledging the problem would make people afraid to take the drugs that are approved and stockpiled for sale, and there's no money in telling someone to avoid drugs that could be toxins to our sensitive systems.  

 

Money is all that matters.  Nothing is done unless it makes money -- except that there are people like the moderators here who volunteer their time because they have experienced first hand the damage that a money obsessed culture causes.  Please consider the advice here to be the best you will find -- avoid more drugs -- anywhere and everywhere.  Lamotrigine is not safe for everyone and very few doctors will help you use the tiny dose you would need.  It could be harmful and set back your recovery, too.  Even if your doctor was willing to prescribe it longer, he wouldn't have a clue how to taper you off of it.  It's better to not start, I believe.  

 

Please don't take the benzo lorazepam. Benzos are very bad, and I worry for the future of people who take them now.  They can be addictive within 2 weeks and after addiction starts they don't help you.  The dose just prevents WD.  You would have to raise the dose to get the same effect.  It's going to get harder to find doctors who prescribe them.  You do not want to be addicted to them.

 

I strongly believe that your own body knows how to heal itself and that it is doing precisely that.  I'm curious about your statement that you think you are no longer in WD, but that you are suffering after effects.  That tells me that something has changed.  The description of your symptoms sounds like WD to me.  However, if you feel something is different it's probably because you are changing and healing.  Four and a half years is a very, very, very long time to suffer.  You must be so tired. 

 

You are not taking 3 mg Prozac right now?  What else did you try?  You said that you tried other things but got scared and stopped.

 

When was the last time you tried something?  Anything since Sept of 2017?  If not, that would mean you are 10 months drug free.  Ten months is a hard time for many, many people.  I see that over and over.  At 18 months you might see a difference that is pretty amazing.  I have.  At 10 months I was miserable.  I had the fatigue and the muscle rigidity then, too.  Now, I'm not miserable most of the time!!  I really think it's best to stop trying drugs and wait this out.  I'm sorry as I know it's hard to hear that, but I say it to give you hope.  Your own body can fix this.  That may seem incredible, but it's true.  To go 10 months without drugs and then take another, in my opinion, would erase all the progress your body has made.  It probably seems that no progress has been made, but it has been.  You may not see it until after the 10 month waves passes.

 

I hope you feel better soon, Rosetta

[Eleven10]

Rosetta.

thanks for your help and I believe your kindness and thoughts are genuine and heartfelt but this is all BS. 

I have been in hell for almost 5 years I have lost everything and everyday is torture. 

Yesterday I drove up to the woods with a skipping rope you can fill in the blanks yourself...I spend my days curled up in a ball in physical and mental torture and my nights restless and agitated praying for peace. 

Iv severely effected my childs health and mental health and that of my parents. 

I’m not asking for a fix from anyone I know nobody can do that. Im asking for some advice on what drug to try before I give up because I owe that to my family that I tried before I went. 

I know people have tried to help me before but I lacked capacity to take it all in and was very afraid of meds. This time I have nothing to be afraid of because when you have nothing there’s nothing to loose. 

 

I belive I’m suffering the legacy effects of withdrawal rather than actual withdrawal.

im worse now than I was 2 years off meds.

deeper depression more pain more fatigue.

i have never had windows only bad days and worse. If In 4 years I had had one day I felt good I would stay drug free but I haven’t.

 

I know everything about the way the pharmaceutical industry works. I’v spend years reading about it and telling people about it. I don’t care anymore because how does it help me to know that? I belive many drs are very ignorant but I also belive many genuinely want to help and are doing so with the tools they have. I’m not going to build more hate inside me for drs as again how does that help me get better. 

 

If if I die and my child is parent less how will that further the cause of pharmaceutical harm, nobody is going to care that I was drug free and natural.

 

I don’t mean to sound rude I hope I don’t and I don’t mean to sound negative. I know nobody has a magic wand I just want to know I gave it my best shot 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Rosetta]

I can see that I've upset you, and I'm sorry.  I think I might feel exactly the same way if I were in your shoes.  I did not understand that you were suicidal at the time I posted, of course.  

 

I think it's important that you feel you are heard.  I hear you.  You are at the breaking point and can't imagine going on another day.  Many of us have been there including me.  I have a child, too.  When she was born the doctor switched my meds.  I have been in WD almost all of her life.  She can't remember a time when I wasn't sick.  She's only 7.  When she was 5, I was so ill from the AD dose having been raised over and over again that I quit almost CT.  I followed the instructions that the doctors and pharmaceutical companies gave for quitting.  It was a very quick "taper."

 

Months 8 and 9 were horrible, horrible, horrible.  In my 9th month I was suicidal almost all the time.  The very next month I starting improving.  I see this in retrospect, but at the time, I was so tired and so depressed that suicide was still on my mind a lot.  I think that could be where you are.  We never know when the brain will change just enough to give us hope to go on.  It's been improving ever since month 10 and although it's been very hard at times the last 7 months, I'm very glad to be alive and that I didn't try another drug.  I did consider lamotrigine at one point, but I felt better before I could act on that desperation.

 

I hope you can find a doctor who knows what he's doing.

 

Peace, Rosetta

[Eleven10]

Thank you and it’s good to read you are improving but sad to read what you went through.

Iv not had one good day in nearly 5 years. I don’t see this just ending, I could still be in this position in another 5 years. I could literally give up

 

[Rosetta]

That's a lot to endure, Eleven10.  A lot.  I'm so sorry you have been through this, and that your child has seen this.  I wish there was something I could say that would help, but I know there isn't.  No, it won't just stop.  I hope it will slowly improve and you will feel whole again someday.  I think I would check madinamerica or the newest website about this subject (I can't remember the name) to see if there are any doctors recommended.

 

Does anyone remember the name of that website that just went up about WD?

[coldturkmama]

2 hours ago, Rosetta said:

That's a lot to endure, Eleven10.  A lot.  I'm so sorry you have been through this, and that your child has seen this.  I wish there was something I could say that would help, but I know there isn't.  No, it won't just stop.  I hope it will slowly improve and you will feel whole again someday.  I think I would check madinamerica or the newest website about this subject (I can't remember the name) to see if there are any doctors recommended.

 

Does anyone remember the name of that website that just went up about WD?

 

Im curious about the website too. 

 

Eleven10- I think about you often and all my more long termers. I wish that I could take this suffering from you.

although I’ve had a long Protracted WD as well, I’ve had a lot of good days and sometimes weeks. 

I don’t know how you’ve managed to make it through such hard WD symptoms but I admire your grit and determination. 

I hope you will think twice about going back to drugs. I just don’t know if I’d trust them, but given your situation- I’m not sure what I’d do. 

Good luck and please let us know how you are. 

[Ali75]

I’m so sorry you’re in this state. I am was also on an AD for a very long time, over 20 years. Have you tried any of the supplements that some people have found helpful, such as fish oil magnesium, or NAC? I have found the last two definitely have a calming effect on my nervous system, and I believe the fish oil generally helps my mood.

[FarmGirlWorks]

2 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Does anyone remember the name of that website that just went up about WD?

Inner Compass Initiative? https://www.theinnercompass.org/

[Rosetta]

Thanks @FarmGirlWorks.  I looked through the site, and I do not see a list of doctors.  That's a shame.

[Eleven10]

I just can’t do it anymore 

[Rosetta]

Talk to me.  I almost put away my iPad just now, but I checked SA first.  So, talk to mec

[Rosetta]

Well, I hope you decide to stay one more day.  Here's a link to some hotline numbers:

 

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/suicide/

 

I will go to bed soon. I know, very early.  If I don't respond to you, that's why.  

[coldturkmama]

8 hours ago, Eleven10 said:

I just can’t do it anymore 

 

You are so strong. I hope you hang on. 

[powerback]

On 8/10/2018 at 12:18 PM, Eleven10 said:

I really need some advise as I’m really not fully able to make decisions.

im rocking up to 5 years of ADs and still suffering badly. The last 2 months has seen a big dip in mood and it was very bad to start with. I feel suicidal most days. I think it’s because iv lost hope of improving. In the early days I was desperately ill but clung to the hope I had better days ahead.

im no different than 2 years off in some ways much worse.

im not in withdrawal as much as suffering the severe legacy effects of withdrawal.

my nervous system is still raw. I sleep very little still and still spend most of the night with that awful feeling of being on the edge of sleep but not quite able to fall into it. It’s torture.

i have severe pain in my neck, shoulder and upper back. This started when I had akathesia and the muscles froze solid. They never relaxed.

i feel irritated and angry all the time. So much so I isolate myself as I hate trying to control my anger. I’m not a very nice person to be around. 

I’m so traumatised by the last 5 years I don’t see how I will ever recover. Even if by some huge miracle I manage to get on a AD and feel better I don’t know how I will deal with losing 5 years and living with the possibility even likelyhood of or happening again.

 

im so fatigued I can’t wash, cook or dress. I have migraine type headache every single day and the tinnitus never stops. The light hurts my eyes and I’m constantly dizzy. My mood is so low it feels like a physical pain that I can describe, it feels like a disease eating away at me and I literally writhe around on the floor trying to escape it.  It’s worse after more sleep. If I sleep more than 7 hrs and dream a lot I know I’m in for a horrific day of deep depression and physically torture. 

 

i wish I could go back and not stop Prozac. Prozac never pooped out or caused side effects really, I just thought I could manage without it.  I was very stable on 10mg. That’s not to say I don’t know that the drugs have caused this or cause others deep suffering but it’s irrelevant if I’m in so much pain what caused the pain. 

 

Im so scared of meds that In 5 years iv never given anything a proper trial. I took one sertraline at 50mgs which made everything much much worse but that was 4 and half years ago. Iv tried since but always freaked out after a few days. Iv tried nothing in a long time.

 

i have Amitriptyline, liquid Prozac, lorazepam, lamoregiene 3 month supply (. my dr won’t prescribe this again) 

 

please someone help me try to improve. I want to try for my family 

HI eleven10 ,no one really has the authority on this site to tell you what drug to go on but I totally understand your desperation ,dam its hard ,I live in the same town since birth and im geting triggered all the time now ,the last few months is hell and im also a long time at this.I feel everything you speak off .

The longer it goes on the more different strategies we need to find .

In my opinion your dealing with very serious/strong gulit and shame ,I think you need to look at this .find compassion for whats happened rather than judgement of yourself.you could find a compassionate counselor to talk to and purge your pain.journal your pain and anger and frustration ,you need an outlet for all this rather than attacking yourself.

I know its very hard believe me .

Get away from social media or certain tv shows, they make non withdrawal people ill with envy let alone us folk.

Im off to practice my own advice and get a walk in the sun. 

Take care .

[Eleven10]

Thanks.

going to try the liquor d Prozac. I have to try something as life is intolerable. If I don’t make  it nobody would be writing that she did so well avoiding medication. I would have loved to go drug free forever but it appears at 5 years off nearly I can’t. 

 

I would prefer to try the lamotregiene but my dr won’t support me and I don’t know what I’m doing. 

 

I hate psych drugs I believe they cause untold suffering to some. Maybe in the future they will know more but unfortunately I live now so I have to try what’s available and believe they may help.

 

i have had 7 hrs sleep in 3 nights and have a constant migraine. I can’t even walk to the shop as I feel so unstable on my feet. 

 

I’ll start low and pray. 

 

Im coming off the site for a bit. Hopefully post some good news in a few weeks/months 

[direstraits]

I'm so sorry...wishing you well

🤗xx

[jonnypeters1234567]

how did it go?