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Blondiee1915

Blondiee1915: 3 months off lexapro does it get better?

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Blondiee1915

oh wow thank you everyone for all the responses.  means alot <3 

 

ChessieCat - I will check out those links.  I think it is a combination of the 3 - agoraphobia, DP/DR, and sensitivity to light/sound.  I was reading online how the best thing to do for derealization is to meditate and do yoga and with time it should pass.  It is comforting to know it is not dangerous and not harmful in any way.  

 

LexAnger - I am sorry you are dealing with this as well.  You are right it is horrible.  I sure hope it will pass soon for both of us.  

 

Hi Alice1 - I am doing okay. A bit worse for the past few days, but hanging in there.  Pretty bad fatigue, dizziness, and now this weird realization/agoraphobia constant feeling which is overwhelming and scary at times.  I do think it is triggered by stress so I am going to work on some stress reduction.  I will stop by your thread to see you are.

 

Julz82 - Happy Easter to you too! You described my symptoms exactly.  The over stimulation, things being too bright or weird and the fatigue def makes it worse.  You are right knowing it is not harmful is helpful.  I think when those feelings increased for me I immediately assumed I am getting worse and this is a sign of not healing but of "there is something wrong with me".  I remember in one of the therapy session I was given advice to focus attention on something present and try to be in the moment.  I guess more of get our of your head kind of thing.  So if there is a painting in the room focus on that instead go in your head with what is wrong with me.  Oye really hope this will get better.  So glad you stopped by :) Hopefully you are doing okay 

 

Catnapt - thank you so much for such a thoughtful insight.  I actually thought that by feeling these things it means I am not improving but going into the rabbit hole. It did not even appear to me that by feeling these things my brain is actually working and figuring out how to function without the meds.  This is much better and gives me more strength and acceptance and peace of mind.  You are describing exactly what I feel.  Like walking to the park and the trees are big and wow so green and it is overwhelming.  But it does make sense though.  I was on lexapro 20 mg for a steady few years and I was numb.  I did not really cry and I did not really laugh.  Just on auto pilot.  I remember talking with friends and trying to laugh as hard as they are on some jokes or stories but it was so unnatural.  Everything was faded and just there.  Few nights ago I was talking to my dad and he told me a joke and I was laughing so hard.  I almost cried because it felt so good to just laugh and not to force it.  It felt amazing.  Sorry I am all over the place.  

 

I did not read that thread and I will for sure.  I love the way you write Catnapt.  Oh and I am going to look up those body scanning meditations.  Thank you so much for caring <3

 

ShakeyJerr - you will be okay!  It is just anxiety.  What helped me with those situations which I learnt in CBT was to think of it in a logical way/doing this CBT exercise.  I have to find this CBT worksheet paper and share it on here maybe it will be helpful for someone.  Basically you start with a fear statement such as "I am afraid I will pass out while driving" and then you say ok what are the chances of this happening? and you list bullet points such as I feel anxious and breathless and my heart beats and I feel like I will faint.  On the other side you list the reasons why it will not happen such as "I felt like this before a million times and it never happened", another point "I had a physical done and there is nothing physically wrong with me"  and another bullet point" noone ever fainted from a panic attack" and so on.  So you look at both of these possibilities of happening of this fearful event and not and realize that the there will be more bulled points on the "this will not happen" list.  Also, the reasons for a fearful event happening or not need to be logical/rational.  The final step of the exercise is to imagine the event actually happening. You imagine it and then list how you will cope.  For instance.  You will pass out while driving. But then the cars will stop and someone will dial 911.  You will get the help from the ambulance and you will be okay.  The more of these exercises you do the more you train your brain to thing differently.  Anxiety is fear of the future event so when we get to the point of omg I cannot let this happen we do not think about it happening we are going into fear mode and do whatever we can to prevent it from happening.  But when you accept and imagine it is happening the fear kind of fades.  Not sure if this is helpful but thought I'd mention.  And I hope it makes sense as I am a bit out of it 

 

B.

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ShakeyJerr

That does help, B!

 

But in the case of my anxiety lately, it's the darn physical pain that comes along with it that is getting too much to bear. My arms hurt, my feet tingle, I get a little light-headed, and oh, the tremors! But the bullet-point method will definitely be helpful for the emotional side.

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Blondiee1915

I need to purchase some empty capsules . Is there a special kind I should get does anyone know ? I checked Amazon and they have some vegetarian ones . Just want to make sure I get the right kind

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SkyBlue

Hi Blondiee, just checking in to see how you are doing.

 

There was a post of yours recently that I wanted to respond to and now I can't find it! It was along the lines of anxiety: what's "normal" and that also you had been feeling pretty optimistic. I think that was what it said! In any case I hope you are feeling okay. 

 

As far as capsules I would think any kind would be all right. Hopefully someone using capsules will chime in. 

 

<3 <<<<< hugs >>>>>

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Blondiee1915

Hi SkyBlue ! So glad to hear from you . I am okay . I started doing yoga every day this week and I feel a bit optimistic and determined. Fatigue is pretty bad but I make an effort to go to bed at 9.30 pm and get 8-9 hours of sleep minimum . Glad tomorrow is Friday so I can rest up this weekend as past weekend was very stressful for me.

 

I realized today that 2 of my symptoms are gone ! One being cold feed and hands and the other feet and hands cramping at night. I totally forgot how much it sucked. Even though these are minor symptoms I am happy they are gone and it makes me believe even more in the process . Still concerned about fatigue but taking it a day at the time .

 

Thank you for the capsule recommendation

 

Hope you are doing well my friend

 

Hugs

B

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Happy2Heal

hi Blondie, just popping in to see how you're doing. Isn't it great when you realize some symptoms are gone?
:)

as far as capsules go,I always choose the vegetarian or vegan option, but that's just me. I don't know if it makes a lot of difference to most ppl

Maybe try googling capsule ingredients effects on absorption or something like that..?

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Julz82

Hi Blondie!!

 

I am delighted to read that the cold hands and feet symptom has left you!! Waw this is wonderful!! 

 

Thank you for your inspirational writing!! Through withdrawal we have to speak to ourselves, reassure ourselves, and there are good CBT techniques to stop thoughts from spiralling out of control.

 

I am also delighted that you have started yoga! Many people find it helpful for all the right reasons. A year ago I got "hooked" and started practising every day with youtube, it lasted for a good while and saw progress with lots of fun poses... now I need my yoga mojo back lol... thank you for the encouragement you probably didn't even know you were spreading!!  :D

 

Healing Hugs!!

Julz xxx

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Blondiee1915

hi Blondie, just popping in to see how you're doing. Isn't it great when you realize some symptoms are gone?

:)

 

as far as capsules go,I always choose the vegetarian or vegan option, but that's just me. I don't know if it makes a lot of difference to most ppl

Maybe try googling capsule ingredients effects on absorption or something like that..?

Hi Catnapt! Glad to hear from you . Oh yes it is very nice :) I was like oh wow I don't have to be awaken by these terrible feet and hand cramps in the middle of the night when did that disappear ? :)) I will take any progress at this point . Thank you for the capsule recommendation I found some on Amazon and ordered today. i also got a micro scale I feel like some of the beads vary in size and I might be over sensitive or overthinking this but I want to make sure I get the same dosage each day. Will see how that goes .

 

Hope you are doing well !

B

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Blondiee1915

Hi Blondie!!

 

I am delighted to read that the cold hands and feet symptom has left you!! Waw this is wonderful!! 

 

Thank you for your inspirational writing!! Through withdrawal we have to speak to ourselves, reassure ourselves, and there are good CBT techniques to stop thoughts from spiralling out of control.

 

I am also delighted that you have started yoga! Many people find it helpful for all the right reasons. A year ago I got "hooked" and started practising every day with youtube, it lasted for a good while and saw progress with lots of fun poses... now I need my yoga mojo back lol... thank you for the encouragement you probably didn't even know you were spreading!!  :D

 

Healing Hugs!!

Julz xxx

Hi Julz !

Glad to hear from you :) hope you are doing well. I will stop by your thread later. Thank you for the cheering up for me . is nice they are gone for sure . I just hope my fatigue lifts soon . Even a little bit . This week was a struggle but i am hanging in there . Just making sure I go to bed like a baby at 9-9.30 pm. I sound like a broken record about this fatigue lol

 

Oh yes yoga is nice . I know exactly what you mean . I also practiced this summer at least twice a week and I loved it but then I stopped after WD hit me hard . But now I am getting back and every time I step on the mat I say to myself wow this feels so good why did I stop ?! It is just the laziness and the crappy feeling that prevents me but once I am on the mat I am good . I was practicing on Tuesday and it was so nice I was doing warrior two pose and just standing there breathing and my window was open and the sun shinning on my face felt so good . So yes def a plan to stick to yoga . It is actually one of the things that keeps quite my racing thoughts . I do vinyasa I guess I concentrate so much on the flow of poses that I forget about WD and my racing mind. Glad I encouraged you somewhat . Hope you will get back to it ! Hope you are doing well !

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Blondiee1915

Hi everyone!

 

I need some advice. Do you think I should be concerned about my blood pressure it was 85/57 today am . I typically run low like 90/60 . I don't remember if it was low before the meds . Could the meds cause this and is there anything I can do for this besides increase the salt intake ?

 

Had a stressful weekend. Feel floating dizzy weak and fatigued . It has been 3 months staying at 37.5 mg of Luvox . I am trying to hold at this level . I got Kelly Bregin book 'mind of your own' will start reading it this week

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JJ33

Hi everyone!

 

I need some advice. Do you think I should be concerned about my blood pressure it was 85/57 today am . I typically run low like 90/60 . I don't remember if it was low before the meds . Could the meds cause this and is there anything I can do for this besides increase the salt intake ?

 

Had a stressful weekend. Feel floating dizzy weak and fatigued . It has been 3 months staying at 37.5 mg of Luvox . I am trying to hold at this level . I got Kelly Bregin book 'mind of your own' will start reading it this week

 

Kelly Brogan is great.  You might try using Himalayan salt, she mentions it in the book.  I don't know of any connection between blood pressure and medications, sorry.  Perhaps the low pressure is more of a symptom that will take care of itself once the primary cause is corrected.  You might also check if your results are considered still in the acceptable range, even if just barely.  I've always had low blood pressure, and can get dizzy when standing up, but otherwise I think there are positives to it.

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Julz82

Hi Blondie,

 

I'm sorry to hear that you've had a stressful weekend and are feeling dizzy, weak and fatigued.

 

I've always had low BP on meds and as you know we share many other symptoms from being on the drugs and/or withdrawal... (90/60 as well). I don't know what the connexion is between fatigue/weakness and low BP - and body temperature...(?) ...I'm sure there is something there. 

 

*I don't think* 85/57 is anything to be concerned about but you might want to check that of course.

 

I'm not sure there is much to do for low BP, apart from the usual care through a healthy diet, exercise and rest of course... but do have a word with a pharmacist or even a physician to but your mind at ease!!

 

I hope things are a bit less stressful, take good care of yourself!

Julz x

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Blondiee1915

The fatigue has been so bad the last few days I am not sure what to think. My ability to function at work is greatly impaired and I am so worried . I am trying to be accepting and be gentle on myself but I fear I will lose my job and be homeless . I go to bed early 9/9.30 am and wake up at 7 for work and I am so drained and exhausted I worry If I should be driving on a highway. I know no one can tell me what to do but I honestly don't know what are my options . I don't want to increase Luvox but maybe I have to I am not sure . I was on 50 mg for about a month and still felt fatigued but now it is more intense so I am not sure . I drink plenty of water and try to stay positive but this exhaustion is so intense nothing seems to work . I was even looking in disability last night.

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ShakeyJerr

I know exactly what you are talking about, Blondiee. My anxiety has brought the same fears to my mind - especially when it comes to work and the future. All I can say is to try to breath and focus on healing. Your fatigue will pass. Find some good worship music and affirmations. Rest when you can. Try to be at peace.

 

I know these are just words right now. But take them in and let them speak to your spirit. You are loved and you are prayed for.

 

SJ

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JJ33

When I was at my worst someone suggested Olive Leaf capsules.  It helped pull me through.

 

We're rooting for you, sending you positive thoughts.

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ShakeyJerr

When I was at my worst someone suggested Olive Leaf capsules.  It helped pull me through.

 

We're rooting for you, sending you positive thoughts.

 

Blondiee - Olive Leaf might not be a good choice for specifically. It has been known to lower blood pressure, and you already run low (I happen to remember you mentioning this once).

 

SJ

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Blondiee1915

ShakeyJerr & JJ33 - thank you very much for your support.  I really really appreciate it, I feel less alone.  I am trying to rest today and see what happens tomorrow.  I am not sure what is going on with my body and why this fatigue is so hard on me.  I pray I can pull through and see some light soon.  Going back to work tomorrow will see how it goes.  

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Julz82

Hi Blondie!

 

I was sorry to read that you were so distraught by a new wave of fatigue and hope that you are getting some much deserved rest this weekend. 

 

I wish I knew of a magical cure - or even anything to relieve this tiredness/exhaustion/weakness... whatever form it takes. Do you see any correlation with your other symptoms? Although I am aware that fatigue may increase other symptoms and vice versa... but I was wondering whether that could be a "wave"... hoping that you may be in for a window afterwards.

 

My "time of the month" brings a worsening of fatigue and overall physical weakness, many women withdrawing from benzodiazepines experience symptoms with the drop in progesterone, I don't know about SSRIs...

 

Are you able to do some yoga? Go out for walks and all that we are told to do?

 

...I still haven't unrolled my yoga mat since writing that I would... but I am still confident that someday lol...

 

Take good care of yourself, rest and be kind to yourself this weekend! Your CNS ought to thank you in some way!!

Hugs!!

Julz xxx 

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Blondiee1915

Hi Julz82, 

 

Thanks so much for stopping by. I did try to rest this weekend.  Slept in today which was nice.  I did not do yoga and feel guilty about it.  Hopefully will start this week.  I did manage to go to the park with my dog twice actually.  So got a bit of walking.  The fatigue is still there.  So we shall see.  I am also struggling with this DP/DR feeling.  Everything feels dizzy and unbalanced and spinning like on a rocking boat, detachment and too big open spaces very overwhelming.  I guess it is anxiety, I am not sure.  I am trying to stay positive as this is not dangerous.  

 

Hope you are doing well 

 

B.

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SkyBlue

Hi Julz82, 

 

Thanks so much for stopping by. I did try to rest this weekend.  Slept in today which was nice.  I did not do yoga and feel guilty about it.  Hopefully will start this week.  I did manage to go to the park with my dog twice actually.  So got a bit of walking.  The fatigue is still there.  So we shall see.  I am also struggling with this DP/DR feeling.  Everything feels dizzy and unbalanced and spinning like on a rocking boat, detachment and too big open spaces very overwhelming.  I guess it is anxiety, I am not sure.  I am trying to stay positive as this is not dangerous.  

 

 

Hi Blondiee! I'm glad you slept in today--I am sure you really needed it. I'm also so glad you got to the park to do some walking. Please try not to feel guilty about not doing yoga.  <3 

 

Yes, the dp/dr is not dangerous and that is an excellent mindset to have. It can sure be unnerving though! For me getting through the dp/dr is a matter of waiting it out while reminding myself that although it feels weird and dreamlike, it will probably be okay because it's always been okay before. I have a couple of people (family members) in real life that I can say, "hey, I'm having that weird feeling like I'm not really here. Can you remind me that I am really here and that this feeling always goes away?"

There is a great grounding meditation on YouTube by Tom Van Deck. I listen to it all the time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INdVQaq_lx8. I practically have it memorized. "Hey folks; this is Tom Von Deck and you're about to learn a powerful guided meditation exercise for grounding…" lol! Let me know what you think of it.

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Blondiee1915

Hi SkyBlue, thanks so much for the meditation I will def check it out . Maybe I'll have it memorized too . For the dp/dr do you get this on occasions or is this a constant thing ? Mine seems to be 24/7 it is just a matter of intensity . When I am alone in a crowded place it gets more intense . I've read somewhere that it could be due to prolonged state of anxiety where your body developed this type of a response. The thing is I never experienced it until coming off medicine . I just really hope it gets better . But yes breathing and not freaking out is the key .

 

Hope you are doing well ❤

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apace41

For the dp/dr do you get this on occasions or is this a constant thing ? Mine seems to be 24/7 it is just a matter of intensity . When I am alone in a crowded place it gets more intense . I've read somewhere that it could be due to prolonged state of anxiety where your body developed this type of a response. The thing is I never experienced it until coming off medicine .

 

Hi, Blondiee,

 

My dp/dr is pretty much constant as well.  Like yours, it is just a matter of intensity.  At times, I feel pretty close to connected.  At other times, I feel like I'm pretty far off from what's going on in the world.  It is VERY common for this to be something that is exacerbated by large crowds, shopping malls, grocery stores and places with fluorescent lighting.  

 

One of the predominant theories is that this is a function of an overactive "fight or flight" system where the brain has become locked in the "fear response."  In other words, the alerting function of the amygdala has become set in the hyperaroused state and everything triggers you.  You adapt so that you don't "feel" super-anxious all the time but your body does't know the difference and you are in fear all the time from a physiological standpoint.  Many people believe that the dp/dr is a protective mechanism that the brain adopts to keep you from having to deal with the fear all the time.  That theory says that there is not dp/dr without anxiety. 

 

I subscribe to that theory and believe that the withdrawal process is the underlying cause of the brain being put into that fight or flight state.  The chemical cascade that occurs is something that we are not able to modify and it takes time for the brain to achieve homeostasis to the point where you are no longer having that reaction.  At some point it will go away -- if you read the thread on dp/dr people all speak of it getting better -- even if it doesn't seem like it now.

 

Best,

 

Andy

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ShakeyJerr

What is " dp/dr?"

 

(I am going to have such a "D'oh!" Moment when you tell me...)

 

SJ

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LostInTheWoods

Sounds to me like depersonalization / derrealization.

 

(also in the dark, confirm if true).

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ShakeyJerr

Sounds to me like depersonalization / derrealization.

 

(also in the dark, confirm if true).

 

That makes sense.

 

I suffered that while on the meds. Now that I am off and in withdrawal, not so much. In fact, people tell me that I have never been more "present" with them than I am now. I think that "present-ness" is a product of my being in such pain and in such a hyper-aware state because of the anxiety/cortisol/neuro-emotions. I don't feel "more present" - but it is nice to know that others see it!

 

SJ

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SkyBlue

Hi SkyBlue, thanks so much for the meditation I will def check it out . Maybe I'll have it memorized too . For the dp/dr do you get this on occasions or is this a constant thing ? Mine seems to be 24/7 it is just a matter of intensity .

The thing is I never experienced it until coming off medicine . I just really hope it gets better . But yes breathing and not freaking out is the key .

 

Hope you are doing well ❤

 

 

You're very welcome, dear. :) 

 

Like you, my dp/dr is directly caused by withdrawal. I also had it daily for several months when I hit the highest level of Paxil "poop-out". 

So now I get the dp/dr starting after a Paxil decrease, and it lasts for about 3 hours/day for up to a week. Once I stabilize or hit homeostasis, it goes away completely.

 

Andy, that sounds like a good description/explanation.

 

Lost, yes--it is depersonalization/derealization.

 

Hope you're doing okay!

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Blondiee1915

Hi Andy - thank you for such an insightful description. That makes perfect sense . And I also agree with that theory.. It is one of the most uncomfortable things and freaky too to say the least . I do recall coming off lexapro in 2012 or 2013 (it's a blur) and I felt fine except that I was getting anxiety attacks specially at work or walking . Now in WD I get severe dp/dr instead . So makes sense my body went into the protective mode and this is not the stage . I think meditating eating right and exercising helps tremendously to life that feeling as well as it seems that it is so intertwined with anxiety . I of course have to work on these things . So difficult with a full time job extreme fatigue and other life responsibilities .

 

SkyBlue - I think I also hit that dp/dr when I was on lexapro Towards the later years as I also think it stopped working on me . But now it is more of a higher intensity . Yukky . That is good you found a correlation bw your dp/dr and WD it makes sense, so you can just clacker it and know it is WD related and wait for it to lift . In my case I think I was so freaked out that this is an indication it is getting worse and I am going deeper into the hall that I wanted some validation .

 

Lost, ShakeyyJerry - yes this is dp/dr. There is a thread on it somewhere I just have to find it

 

Hope everyone is doing okay ❤️. I am hanging in there, tired dizzy dp/dr but my mood seems okay actually better . I even put make up on my face going to work today and yesterday . Ringing in the ears decreased as well so hoping I am on the upward slope of recovery

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apace41

Hi Andy - thank you for such an insightful description. That makes perfect sense . And I also agree with that theory.. It is one of the most uncomfortable things and freaky too to say the least . I do recall coming off lexapro in 2012 or 2013 (it's a blur) and I felt fine except that I was getting anxiety attacks specially at work or walking . Now in WD I get severe dp/dr instead . So makes sense my body went into the protective mode and this is not the stage . I think meditating eating right and exercising helps tremendously to life that feeling as well as it seems that it is so intertwined with anxiety . I of course have to work on these things . So difficult with a full time job extreme fatigue and other life responsibilities .

 

Blondiee,

 

If you have not read Shep's thread I think it would be VERY instructive for you, especially regarding dp/dr.  Shep was polydrugged for decades and has suffered from horrific dp/dr and is slowly coming out of it.  She has a toolbox of things that have helped.

 

It is a horrible symptom but it is, at the end of the day, harmless.  

 

Hope it lifts for you soon.

 

Best,

 

Andy

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Blondiee1915

Andy - I have not, but now I will going to for sure . Thank you for suggestion . I hope you are doing okay . I read your recent update and hope you are a tiny bit better .

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apace41

Thanks, Blondiee.  I appreciate your thoughts.

 

Let me/us know if Shep's thread resonates with you.

 

Best,

 

Andy

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Blondiee1915

The fatigue is hitting me hard today and yesterday.  I did have an event to go to which lasted for about 3 hours.  But I was so anxious with racing thoughts that perhaps it exhausted me.  I fell asleep around 9 and woke up at 10.  Went to a park and was feeling very weak and fainting like.  I also got my period yesterday it probably has something to do with this.  Today I am resting and moving from the coach to my bed and so on.  My eyes are burning and I just feel heavy.  I was reading a post how individuals that experience fatigue have insomnia which then makes sense for the fatigue.  In my case I sleep so much yet I am still fatigued.  This is my worst symptom.  On Friday after work I came home and went to bed at 9 pm as well.  

 

I have to reassure myself that this is drug related.  I read alot of cases particularly regarding lexapro long term usage causing the fatigue.  I did not have fatigue prior to lexapro and developed it during being on medication and now being off it is more intense. 

 

I took a saliva test for adrenal fatigue and have an appt at the end of May to go over the results.  I am actually scared to see what this test will show.  

 

Hoping for the best.  Believing in this process and believing that I am healing.  

 

I started reading "recovery and renewal" book by Baylissa Frederic and it is pretty encouraging.  

 

Little steps rights?

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scallywag

Most forward motion is a good thing!

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SkyBlue

The fatigue is hitting me hard today and yesterday.  I did have an event to go to which lasted for about 3 hours.  But I was so anxious with racing thoughts that perhaps it exhausted me.  I fell asleep around 9 and woke up at 10.  Went to a park and was feeling very weak and fainting like.  I also got my period yesterday it probably has something to do with this.  Today I am resting and moving from the coach to my bed and so on.  

I started reading "recovery and renewal" book by Baylissa Frederic and it is pretty encouraging.  

 

Little steps rights?

 

 

 

Hi Blondie! 

 

Yes, you are definitely healing. And definitely-- little steps. :)

 

I like that book Recovery and Renewal. I'll have to reread it. I think it was really focused on hope and healing. 

 

Can I share a perspective from my experience doing adrenal testing, etc.? I think that it's a guarantee that in SSRI withdrawal we are all going to be extremely adrenally fatigued. Our central nervous systems have been pushed to the brink -- but it's healable. The best way to heal this is to be gentle with ourselves and rest (like going to bed at 9 when needed!!); eating reasonably well, etc. Depending on who did your adrenal testing, I would just encourage you to be very mindful about supplements they might start recommending. I did adrenal testing through a naturopath who I now know had very little understanding of ssri withdrawal. And he had me go on all these supplements. Tons of supplements. Supplements all day long for months and months and months. I now know that none of them were appropriate for someone in withdrawal, except maybe magnesium which I was taking before. So I just share this because what I did was expensive and not that helpful, and I'd like to save you the same trouble. I'm not trying to discourage you from getting the help you need and trying different things that might help you. :)

 

It seems that the fatigue is ABSOLUTELY withdrawal-related. And cycle issues are extremely common in withdrawal. It's like it exacerbates all the chaos that is already going on.

Even though I know it's frustrating to experience fatigue, I think it's very likely that this is your body communicating to you that it needs massive amounts of rest right now in order to heal. Maybe you could look at the fatigue itself as a sign your body ishealing from the Lexapro?

If you are like me you might think of all this rest time as "wasted time," but it really isn't. It's sooooo important for your healing. I'm really glad you got to rest a bit this weekend. Hang in there, Blondie!!! We are here for you and you are doing great. :) <3

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Alice1

I still think that since you're working full time you're facilitating your recovery tremendously. In fact you've inspired me to start working again. I've worked everyday for the last 10 days (minus Sunday's) just because I think it promotes healing. That and Ive gone absolutely nuts staying at home doing nothing. But , I have hit a giant wave since . We had a medium sized tree fall down and my dumb ass gets the chainsaw out and starts cutting it up for an hour. That might have had something to do with this wave. Ya know a chainsaw is very stimulating ,I think :-/

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Blondiee1915

You guys are right . I need to work on acceptance clearly . I am thankful that I am actually sleeping and yes my body needs the rest so I have to give it to myself . Sometimes though I do have to push myself to get out there so I don't become an antisocial hermit ☺️

Everyday I get myself out of bed and push myself out the door to make it to work so I should celebrate that I am coping . I do look like a mess though I shower out my hair up and wear whatever is comfortable I forgot last time I wore heals maybe 2009 ?

 

SkyBlue - you are so right . Fatigue is WD related . I have to remember that. Maybe I will post some sticky notes around my place and include some positive affirmations . Today is bad again . I actually had bad insomnia last night went to bed at 1 am I think I was anxious about work. Zombie walking around the office today

 

Alice1 - that is great I inspired you :) I do agree that being at work helps but at the same time it would be nice to stay home and relax and rest I guess in a perfect world it would be great for me to have a flexible schedule and even do part time / work from home but it is not possible unfortunatly . I am getting my motivation from Shep thread . She was working and dealing with bad WD so I read it at times when I need that kick . And as far as treat falling and chainsaw that could def send anyone into a wave . I still get overstimulated by loud noises visuals that are too bright or dull open spaces sad stories so have to be careful for sure . Hopefully you are feeling better

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ShakeyJerr

You're an inspiration, Blondiee!

 

Acceptance is also something I need to work on. Because I am such a wimp when it comes to physical and emotional pain, I whine a lot. Whining is NOT acceptance. I need to accept that my body and brain are going through something that takes time to heal. I need to accept that the past is the past, and that the present and the future depend on my attitude right now.

 

I'm sorry you are having a bad day. I know it is hard - I struggle with it - but try not to let anticipation of tomorrow ruin your sleep at night.

 

As always, you are in my prayers!

 

SJ

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