Blondiee1915: 3 months off lexapro - does it get better?

[Blondiee1915]

Hi guys, thank you for your kind words and support.  I appreciate it very much.  <3

 

SkyBlue - you are too funny.  Rockstar lolll 

 

Resting this weekend did me good (I think).  Today is rainy and gloomy but I feel like I have a bit more energy than I did this weekend.  I was up and ready had a doctor appt in the am.  Then, took my dad's car for emission test.  Then, went to a store to do a few returns.  Then, went to supermarket to get some groceries. Running around all day. Now I am cleaning out my closet and organizing.  Go figure.  Does not make sense - this weekend was sunny and warm and I was super fatigued, and today it is freezing and raining and I am slightly better..... This is how I know this is not an adrenal disorder but WD.   I am still tired but I do not have this super heavy feeling like I need to lay in bed and rest.  I think for me when I have a stressful situation, I end up paying for it the next few days where I need to regain my strength.   I still do not feel my fatigue lifted any time of the day, but I am appreciative that I was able to get out today and do things today even not feeling great.  Note to myself - do not overdo it and listen to your body.  I accepted I do not run on the same mode as the rest of the people not in WD and that is okay because I will be there one day.  And I truly think I will be even better.  This process makes me appreciate such small things - like going to a supermarket and cleaning my closet (well closet cleaning is not too fun ) 

 

So at my doctor's appointment we went over my results from the adrenal test (this is 4 times a day saliva test).  It looks like I am in range but on the low end which explains my fatigue.  I am happy with the results as I was expecting the worse just by the way I feel.  I read Alto's post how these sort of tests cannot be reliable during WD (if I am not mistaken) so I take it with the grain of salt, but I am glad it did not show anything drastic.  Also, I read the below post 

"  As opposed to adrenal fatigue, elevated cortisol in withdrawal syndrome keeps you going even though you're dead tired. People also report a surprisingly low incidence of colds and flu"  This actually makes sense to me.  I rarely get a cold or a flu.  I never even got a flu shot.  People at work would be sick and all that but I am okay.  Which always seemed strange to me as I feel extremely tired so my immune system should be weak thus I should be getting colds and a flu, but that is not the case.  Basically what I am saying is that I am more convinced that my fatigue is directly correlated with being on lexapro and now being in WD.   Sorry for the word salad.  

 

At my doctor's we talked about my diet.  And how changing some of the stuff I eat can make a difference.  She recommended eating every few hours.  Making sure I eat enough protein and healthy fats.  She did say I do not have to eliminate all the carbs which is great because I was under impression I need to eat no carbs period.  She suggested if for instance I get a burger I get a salad instead of fries and only eat half a bun.  She also ordered a test to see if I am anemic.  Also, cutting on sugars.  And if I want something sweet I can do a fruit or dark chocolate and some peanuts/almonds.  

 

I am thankful for today.  I am strong and I can get through this.  I am thankful for this community.  My virtual support is everything <333333

 

Yours B 

[Alice1]

Way to go Blondiee.

You're gonna be fine. We are gonna be fine. Everybody will be just fine.

I went on a no carb diet virtually overnight. Big big mistake. I got sooooo sick. Went back to eating carbs and eating healthy at the same time. If that makes sense :-/

 

Ummm. How do you eat a burger with half a bun ? :-/

[Blondiee1915]

Hi Alice ! Hope you are okay . That is a drastic change to go to no carbs at all . You will just take a top bun off and eat it like that . She said that since my weight is not an issue (I'm like 115 now ) I should be consuming carbs too bc if I don't I can get sick . Just not a lot of carbs so if I do eggs in a morning do a whole wheat toast with that . That actually made sense to me . So hopefully I can implement these changes . I also think WD messes up with blood sugar . So I am going to try snacking every few hours to see if that helps .

[SkyBlue]

Hi guys, thank you for your kind words and support.  I appreciate it very much.  <3

 

SkyBlue - you are too funny.  Rockstar lolll 

 

I still do not feel my fatigue lifted any time of the day, but I am appreciative that I was able to get out today and do things today even not feeling great.  Note to myself - do not overdo it and listen to your body.  I accepted I do not run on the same mode as the rest of the people not in WD and that is okay because I will be there one day.  And I truly think I will be even better.  This process makes me appreciate such small things - like going to a supermarket and cleaning my closet (well closet cleaning is not too fun )

 

 

A great attitude! 

 

Soooo important to listen to our bodies. I rarely did before any of this. <3

[Blondiee1915]

Monday was okay day and Tuesday as well regarding fatigue.  I managed to exercise for 30 mins (walked on the treadmill).  However, today fatigue intensified.  I mean is this normal to be like this in these sort of waves?  I ate okay and did go to bed at 10.  It is so crazy though, I am trying to find a logical reason how for two days I was okay, tired but not too bad.  And this morning it is such a heavy fatigue wave, like I can barely move of my coach.  I guess there is really no justification for why this is happening and no true pattern.  Grrrrrr had so many plans for today and ended up resting all day.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day .  sigh 

[bubble]

That's an interesting pattern holiday girl Maybe fatigue is also following windows and waves (and these are totally random not much rhyme or reason).

 

Going back to work tomorrow?

 

You have a great doc who is actually looking into some life style changes and not pushing pills? Was that an alternative one?

 

How did you feel before when exercising? I had a two week period where I did yoga exercises but then got ill and now have problems resuming. I feel so bad about not exercising but I'm so tired when I get from work that I can't lift my head off the pillow. Did you also report about sympotm intensifying before the period is due? Mine have been quite brutal lately with the apetite skyrocketing and craving for meat and carbs. I eat pretty clean otherwise (no sugar, lots of veggies from my mom's garden, especially now in season). But my quantities are enormous I just decided that I will worry about that once I'm off this metabolism disrupting thing...

 

A day of rest is a well spent day. The world can wait

[Blondiee1915]

Hi Bubble! 

 

Oh yes being a holiday girl for a few days is a treat for me  I was thinking about fatigue being in waves/windows too today.  Who knows? I should just stop rationalizing this process and try to see logic in my symptoms.  But you are right about period affecting this.  I am getting mine soon and I can tell that I am getting more snippy and emotional and craving carbs like cray cray.  I did have 2 small slices of pizza for dinner but then had some nuts after fruit and vegetables.  I gave in today to pizza, I saw it and I just had to have it  .  Having a garden and your own veggies sounds amazing.  So fresh and no preservatives.  I actually grew up in Europe and my family used to have all of the fruits and vegetables from the outside garden.  It was awesome.  I remember as a little girl going outside and just picking berries and eating them.  

 

Back to work tomorrow.  Should not be too bad as I only have two days and then 3 days off - Monday off (US Holiday)

 

The doctor I see is an alternative medicine clinic specifically tailored towards women.  She is a nice lady.  So far not pushing any drugs and gave me hope regarding energy levels.  I just hope I am not taking too many vitamins.  

 

I actually felt great when exercising yesterday.  I had good jams on was imagining myself dancing and almost started running..... but I stopped myself because I have not worked out in months and do not want to over do it.  My doctor did mention gentle exercise nothing drastic.  So I just walked.  I felt great doing it and this weird energy like I need to run to let it out you know.  I do completely understand about coming home from work and not wanting to do anything except putting your head on the pillow.  The fatigue and this heaviness feeling is intense and all you want to do is just rest.  I get it.  I think as long as you do something when you feel good is good enough.  I was inspired reading about your journey.  Whenever you wrote about hiking in the woods I was imagining how wonderful it must have been, being there and being present and feeling good.  Nature is powerful.  

 

I am having issues being alone lately.  Well not being alone but going somewhere alone.  I think that I need to be with someone in case something will happen to me.  I do walk my dog alone but that is still challenging and I make sure I have my phone on me just in case.  Not sure if there a name for this behavior.  Hopefully with time and my healing I can venture out on my own and will not worry about it.   

[SkyBlue]

Hi Blondie!

 

Yes, it seems the WD symptoms go in "windows and waves." It can be frustrating because it is not a straight line. Are you able to keep track of your symptoms on paper? I do this and have found it helpful, even though it didn't show any patterns (based on eating, exercise, sleep, activity level--no patterns to this madness). There are some ready-made sheets available to track symptoms, both here in this forum and also around the web, such as: http://drglenmullen.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/AS-Appendix-1.pdf. 

 

That's too bad about having issues being alone--it's understandable, though. I am sure that like you said, with time and with healing, you will definitely be able to venture out on your own again! ! ! 

 

Hugs! <3

[Blondiee1915]

I am thinking of stopping my mitochondrial nrg supplement . I was reading about vitamin B12 and how too much of it can be no good. It looks like I have been taking 3,000 mug of vitamin b12 daily for a few months now . I read various feedback stating that there is no such thing as too much vitamin b12 as it gets flushed out by water but few individuals mentioned the dizziness and fatigue it was causing due to above the limit consumption . I also tested high on vitamin b in February but continued taking the supplement . The range was 500-1100 and I was a little over 1200 . So maybe it is effecting me in a negative way . I am so frustrated with this gloomy fatigue and heaviness maybe this will be the answer (wishful thinking ). I am going to give it a week to 10 days starting tomorrow . We shall see .

[Frogie]

Hi,Blondiee:

 

Just thought I would stop by and see how you are doing.

 

I can't take b vitamins at all, they "rev" me up way too much and I can't sit still. It's like I'm having a HUGE anxiety attack. And they make me sick. Maybe they do the opposite to you?

 

I hope the few days off helped and you got some well needed sleep.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Blondiee1915]

Hi Frogie!

 

Thanks so much for stopping by.  Yea, I am not sure if there is a connection.  But I figured I want my body to heal natural anyways and my adrenals so putting all the supplements may not be good.  I am going to give it a few days to see if that makes a difference.  So far I am not noticing anything different, but we shall see 

 

Hope you are doing okay Frogie.  I should stop by your thread to see how things are.  Hopefully no more nausea!

 

B 

[Frogie]

Hi Frogie!

 

Thanks so much for stopping by.  Yea, I am not sure if there is a connection.  But I figured I want my body to heal natural anyways and my adrenals so putting all the supplements may not be good.  I am going to give it a few days to see if that makes a difference.  So far I am not noticing anything different, but we shall see 

 

Hope you are doing okay Frogie.  I should stop by your thread to see how things are.  Hopefully no more nausea!

 

B

 

Blondiee:

 

I hope you see some difference soon. You deserve it after all you've been through.

 

I have a mildly high TSH, (5.1 and normal high is 4.5) and am lactose intolerant, everything my insurance pays for for my thyroid has lactose in it. Everything else is fine and right in the middle of normal for my thyroid. The dr suggested a supplement. So I ordered it, took it and it made me nauseous. It has ginseng in it, along with some chocolate I ate. So I'm better after stopping both. I read that you can have a high TSH tapering Lexapro, so I'm going to talk to the dr about just watching it.

 

Hope you're having a great day!

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Blondiee1915]

Roughly 5 months on Luvox at 37.5 mg dose . I would think I am slightly better from where I was during fall crash and lexapro reinstatement but still not baseline WD normal . I pray and hope it will get better for me . Major symptoms fatigue dizziness feeling of being weak and like I am going to faint in addition to dp/ dr are constant . I am trying to remain positive and implement healthy life choices but it is sad to watch life go by yet no substantial improvement . I get scared that it will not get better but I talk myself out of feeling bad as I never felt normal and good when I was on medication and had all the switching from one to another so I have no other option but to stick it out .

 

I stopped supplements except for folate and fish oil . As far as energy not sure if I am noticing any difference . I also got some liquid DHEA from my naturopath and I tried some last night . Not sure if I see any difference .

 

I am doing this for me and my future kids I want to be a healthy person . I hope I get better soon

 

Sorry for the pessimistic update friends

[SkyBlue]

Hi Blondie...

Don't worry about being pessimistic here. I didn't think you sounded that pessimistic, and anyway, you're allowed! It's a very trying

experience.

 

It definitely will get better. 

 

It will be interesting to see how it goes with eliminating the supplements. I know I had good experiences doing that. I eliminated everything but fish oil and magnesium. I just came across the list of supplements the naturopath was having me take and it was insane.

 

It is Friday and soon you'll get to rest!!! Hugs. <<<3

[Blondiee1915]

Hi SkyBlue - thank you for dropping by . Yes i feel like a lot of naturopaths and doctors and chiropractors push the supplements . I am going to give it another week or so and see how I do. Glad the elimination process worked for you . I remember your obsession with magnesium I got home a while ago was driving and thought I was going to pass out so scary . Fell asleep for 20 mins or so feel a bit better. Have an event to go to for a bit hope I would last

Will stop by your thread later

Ty for being so supportive

Hugs

[Happy2Heal]

hi Blondie, how did that event go?

 

thanks for stopping by my thread I appreciate it!

 

hope you are feeling better hon.

I am slowly giving up my supplements too, mainly because I just don't want to keep paying for them

 

I do get relief from the magnesium and the glycine so i"m keeping those but the rest won't be replaced when I run out.

[Blondiee1915]

Hi H2H- thanks for dropping by

 

Event was fine . After ended up going to dinner but was so out of it and dizzy . Then I got home and I looked exhausted . I have a theory that anxiety takes all of my energy in addition to WD .

 

Yesterday I got in a heated argument with my father and my body was shaking I was hyperventilating . I ended up having two large glasses of wine . I am so hungover today and mad at myself for doing this . Trying to get as much rest as I can so I will be okay for tomorrow

 

Having another low day u nfortinatly

 

Edited March 30, 2022 by ChessieCat
changed member name

[Blondiee1915]

Using this as an outlet and documenting my experience.  Any advice of course is much appreciated as I am trying to figure this out. 

 

I am trying to reassure myself that this is not me but the drugs.  I am feeling so emotional and almost depressed I guess.  The heated argument last night and drinking alot really knocked me over.  I am sad and I feel like I am having a mental breakdown.  I also want to cry.  I have not cried in so long so this is weird.  My body is lazy and does not want to do anything.  I am feeling afraid and stuck.  I am trying to remain calm but in the back of my head I have racing thoughts such as "how will I make it through the work week".   I am hoping it will get better and this is not my actual self but the result of being medicated for so long and being in WD.  But what if I am wrong?  What do I do? 

 

Something deep inside me tells me I can do this and I will get better and heal.  But alot of me is saying you are getting deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole you need to get help.  By help I mean medication.  So it is an inside argument.  I am holding on to my hope and belief and pray it will get better. 

[SkyBlue]

Hey hon, 

Sorry to hear it's a low day. 

 

I think that yes, anxiety can be incredibly draining. 

 

Try not to be so hard on yourself about the wine. Rest is a good idea. 

 

Hugs… <3

[SkyBlue]

I just saw your second post. I think it is most certainly the drugs.

Remember, you said earlier that you didn't have any fatigue before Lexapro? That is just one example of a drug bringing on a symptom, whether a side effect or withdrawal.

 

Definitely listen to that voice deep inside you that says you can do this, you can heal. 

 

I think that it is so so common in withdrawal to think, what if this is "who I really am?" I think it makes a lot of sense because we are not feeling well. 

 

I have known you just a short while and I can certainly assure you that this is not "who you really are." <3333 Hang in there sweetie. Message me any time.

Edited June 4, 2017 by SkyBlue

[Happy2Heal]

Using this as an outlet and documenting my experience.  Any advice of course is much appreciated as I am trying to figure this out. 

 

I am trying to reassure myself that this is not me but the drugs.  I am feeling so emotional and almost depressed I guess.  The heated argument last night and drinking alot really knocked me over.  I am sad and I feel like I am having a mental breakdown.  I also want to cry.  I have not cried in so long so this is weird.  My body is lazy and does not want to do anything.  I am feeling afraid and stuck.  I am trying to remain calm but in the back of my head I have racing thoughts such as "how will I make it through the work week".   I am hoping it will get better and this is not my actual self but the result of being medicated for so long and being in WD.  But what if I am wrong?  What do I do? 

 

Something deep inside me tells me I can do this and I will get better and heal.  But alot of me is saying you are getting deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole you need to get help.  By help I mean medication.  So it is an inside argument.  I am holding on to my hope and belief and pray it will get better. 

 

Oh I would bet anything this is the drug and NOT you!

and it will pass, as awful as it feels right now

 

you can do this, just take one day at a time. I forget that all the time myself and overwhelm myself thinking about the whole week or the next month etc, and we only really have today. this moment. we can get thru that ok, right?

;-)

 

 

[Blondiee1915]

Friends I need advice . 

 

I have no idea what to do about this fatigue .  It is so debilitating .  I sleep 10 hours each night I wake up exhausted go to work exhausted drive home exhausted and collapse on the sofa as soon as I get home .  There is not a minute in a day where I feel energy . I feel like I have narcolepsy .  My body is heavy, my eyes burn and hurt and are heavy, my breathing is slow and I just feel weak and out of it .  On top dizziness and dp/dr .  But mainly fatigue .  Can this really be WD ? I switched to Luvox end of December 2016 why am I not getting any relief ? I have no idea what to do I am afraid to lose my job I just want to be awake and have some energy . 

 

Queation on is could this be body burnt out due to anxiety and stress or is this depression ? Someone mentioned to me how such intense fatigue is actually anxiety and depression even though there are no other symptoms .  I am listening to Calm app every night before bed .  Restarted again my supplements.  Try to do light walking and eat well .  But nothing helps .  I feel like it is getting worse .  

 

I never experienced fatigue until starting an SSRI and now after stopping which is way more intense .  

 

I apologize for complaining here and not having that positive attitude, I just need to do something about this and I do not know what -. Increase Luvox decrease Luvox (maybe fatigue is caused by Luvox too ?) switch to something else ? No idea .  Just scarred 

[ShakeyJerr]

2 minutes ago, Blondiee1915 said:

Friends I need advice . 

 

I have no idea what to do about this fatigue .  It is so debilitating .  I sleep 10 hours each night I wake up exhausted go to work exhausted drive home exhausted and collapse on the sofa as soon as I get home .  There is not a minute in a day where I feel energy . I feel like I have narcolepsy .  My body is heavy, my eyes burn and hurt and are heavy, my breathing is slow and I just feel weak and out of it .  On top dizziness and dp/dr .  But mainly fatigue .  Can this really be WD ? I switched to Luvox end of December 2016 why am I not getting any relief ? I have no idea what to do I am afraid to lose my job I just want to be awake and have some energy . 

 

Queation on is could this be body burnt out due to anxiety and stress or is this depression ? Someone mentioned to me how such intense fatigue is actually anxiety and depression even though there are no other symptoms .  I am listening to Calm app every night before bed .  Restarted again my supplements.  Try to do light walking and eat well .  But nothing helps .  I feel like it is getting worse .  

 

I never experienced fatigue until starting an SSRI and now after stopping which is way more intense .  

 

I apologize for complaining here and not having that positive attitude, I just need to do something about this and I do not know what -. Increase Luvox decrease Luvox (maybe fatigue is caused by Luvox too ?) switch to something else ? No idea .  Just scarred 

 

Hi B -

 

I am so sorry that you are struggling right now. {{{HUGS}}}

 

And I am saying "right now" because I want you to embrace the fact that this too shall pass.

 

It sounds to me like you are in adrenal fatigue? Your adrenals may have pooped out. What you might want to do is take a look at a few things:

 

1) Eating Habits - Our food intake is key in withdrawal - especially if adrenal fatigue has set in. Here's just one of many sources to look at for eating to heal the adrenals: https://adrenalfatiguesolution.com/adrenal-fatigue-diet/

 

2) Bedtime Habits - Re-think your bedtime routine. Some key tips - No screens in bed (no TV, no tablet, no smart phone). Try to get to bed at the same time every night - and aim for no later than a lights-out time that will give you a 7 to 8 hour sleep window at least. Also, try reading a book (a real, paper book) for 20 minutes before bed. Nothing to stimulating or thought-provoking. Keep it light.

 

3) Do not use other furniture for sleeping. This will help regiment your thinking about sleep.

 

4) Try the Adrenal Drink - 4oz of fruit juice (orange juice is recommended), mixed with 1/2-teaspoon of Cream of Tartar (available on any grocery spice aisle and 1/2-teaspoon of sea salt (NOT table salt; sea salt has valuable micro-nutrients that have been processed out of table salt). I do the drink twice a day (and keep my other beverages to non-sugar ones for the rest of my hydration).
 

But again, most of all, remember that this will pass. Just take care of your body.

 

More {{{{HUGS}}}}

 

SJ

 

[Happy2Heal]

no advice hon, just gentle hugs

 

[JJ33]

I'm sorry you're not feeling well.  Lately I've had good luck with a certain B12 formulation.  Not that I'm advising you to do the same, but rather letting you know there is always hope.  Wishing you the best.

[Blondiee1915]

Thank you so much everyone <3 your support in this difficult time means alot 

 

SJ - I try to be consistent with sleep, and overall pretty good with my diet.  I keep thinking this too shall pass but it has been almost 6 months and my fatigue is not lifting.  I am holding on and trying my best, but it is so hard. I am sure you can relate.  If I can just wake up one day and be alert and energized it would be a miracle.  

 

Happy2Heal - thank you <3 by the way I love the new screen name

 

JJ - I do take a few supplements with vitamin B12 I stopped for a week bc I was getting nervous I was taking too much, but restarted again this week.  To be honest not sure if they make a huge difference.  

 

I am so scarred to lose my job, but I do need a break.  I go in and I feel like I am in prison or something - I cannot leave and feeling so crappy with no escape gives me anxiety.  I am thinking about decreasing Luvox and seeing if that makes a difference.  Do you think it is possible to fire an employee over medical related issues?  

 

Hanging in there, glad tomorrow is Friday 

[Blondiee1915]

I had my doctor appointment to discuss this extreme debilitating fatigue.  She recommended adding a stimulant such as nuvigil.  I am reading about it and it looks like it is prescribed for narcolepsy and night shifts.  I am trying to understand how it acts on the brain and if it will shock my adrenals even more.  The reason I am considering it is to keep my job.  I did not commit to anything yet.  

 

I decreased Luvox on 6/9 by 10%.  Will have to update my bio.  No changes yet, except headache in the am and mild nausea

 

Any info on Nuvigil will be much appreciated 

 

Hope everyone has a good weekend <3

 

B

[Blondiee1915]

So my Luvox cut was more than 10% (from 35 beads to 30) and I got bad headaches since then .  I ended up increasing last night to 32 beads .  Headaches seem better today .  But feeling dizzy still spacey now and weird alertness and very restless and at the same time fatigued and brain fogged .   Taking it a moment by moment .  We shall see .  ?

[brassmonkey]

Hi Blondiee-- I just did a bit of research on nuvigil.  It makes the stuff we're trying to get off of look like aspirin.  Firstly it's an SDRI (dopamine), is t ts very similar to amphetamines in its effects on the body and addictive behavior.  It has a laundry list of side effects that include everything we know and loath and a lot more. It does not play well with any of the drugs we are working with.  In short I would stay as far away from nuvigil as is possible.  I would also watch out for a related drug Modofinil, which is just as bad.

 

The constant fatigue is one of the real pain in the a** symptoms we all get.  The only thing I have found is to tough it out, take breaks, rest as much as possible and continue to taper.  It eventually gets better.

[bubble]

As another debilitating fatigue sufferer I can only second what Brassmonkey wrote. Over the last month I haven't been able to do any after work activities such as visit a friend, go for a walk, do exercises for my bad spine, etc. Some days I barely stagger up from work to pass out on the couch. I can't really sleep. I'm in some semi conscious state.

 

Over the last month I had to take at least one day off work (usually Wednesday or Thursday) because I just couldn't get out of bed.

 

But when I could get as much rest as I needed (which is an awful lot by the standards of 'regular' people) I would feel ok for a few days. It just shows that what I need is not a pill but rest.

 

And I'm looking very hard into ways of securing this rest that I need. It's incredibly hard at work. But when I feel better I achieve a lot and I have a very good reputation which allows me to bend the 'attendance' rules. I implied that I'm suffering from various health conditions which are not dangerous but are very debilitating. (My blood pressure was measured 80/60 on one occasion and I mention that because this is something people can relate to). I'm looking into ways of adjusting my work situation even more while I'm healing. I believe this fatigue will get better one day (or sooner). Last year I walk up every two hours like a clock for 5 months and for 9 months my brain was so badly afflicted I couldn't do at least half of the things my job required. But I did enough to preserve the appearances. 9 months was and is an awful lot of time. I was despairing, buying loads of supplements, wasn't sure how long I was going to last like that, wasn't sure I would continue to believe that was going to get better and then it did!

 

Just gradually or very gradually. Without touching any of my drugs, without going up or down, changing drugs or adding new. The brain found its way out. Even with the fatigue I function better than last year. Last year I had to take a week off every month. Now I also do a lot more.

 

There are no guidelines on our path. Nobody can say anything for sure. I just decided that my best bet is sticking with the programme so to say. And believe in the ability of my brain to heal itself while keeping everything slow, steady and simple.

 

I think that generally in life making decisions out of despair and when we feel cornered never produces a good outcome. You did feel better when you were off work. You mentioned once looking into options to reduce work or something like this. % months is a long time on one hand. But on the other it's not. It seems like it was/is some psychological point for you. But you always have an option of giving yourself more time (and rest) and reconsider.

[apace41]

11 minutes ago, bubble said:

I think that generally in life making decisions out of despair and when we feel cornered never produces a good outcome. 

 

Bubble, 

 

You so often say simple things that are incredibly profound.

 

This is such a brilliant insight.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Blondiee1915]

Brassmonkey - thank you for your advice on Nuvigil.  It did sound like a miracle drug to me.  Increase your energy and remove brain fog and make you more outgoing and social (this is what I read online) plus you dont have to take it every day which made me believe it was not addictive.  I guess I am wrong.  Then I read how it damages your memory and how you can become manic and on the next day can crush badly and experience fatigue like never before.  Bubble is right, in times of desperation some decisions are made might not be necessarily good.  I also remembered that I did take a stimulant few years back ritalin and I do not remember feeling any different at all.  I struggled with tiredness on lexapro which I believe was due to tolerance and my dr gave me ritalin.  I took it for a few days did not note any difference so I stopped.  At this point I am deciding against Nuvigil. 

 

I sound like a broken record at times.  I gave in to trusting my doctor because she is a doctor has a degree and is a specialist and all the physical symptoms I experience so scary.  I guess I am not strong enough.  

 

Bubble - I am sorry you are still struggling with fatigue.  I feel like us long term lexapro users have that in common unfortunately. I am glad you are doing better, I cannot imagine being awake every two hours and still making it to work and trying to be/look functional.  I can so relate to not being able to get up from bed and literary drag yourself to get ready and go to work.  Such a debilitating feeling.  I keep thinking is this what depression is/feels like?  But the thing is I do not feel depressed I just feel unrefreshed, exhausted and in need of rest. You are a warrior and an inspiration.  Hope things will continue to improve for you, all of us.  

 

I do think that when I am home I generally feel better.  Something about going to work and being there gives me anxiety and extra stress.  Maybe I feel like I am trapped and I have to make it for 9 hours and I cannot leave.  All these thoughts enter my brain.  I am a perfectionist by nature and competitive.  I am afraid to be a failure.  I also feel like when it comes to my life the only thing that I have going for me is my job, and that is why I get so scarred to lose it.  I do not have many friends, I do not go out alot and I also have a very small family.  So I am holding on to my only normal thing - my job.  I do think I need some therapy eventually once I feel somewhat physically better.  Crazy to think how up until the age of 21 I was a happy careless outgoing social girl and how a few panic attacks and then 9 years of medication turned me into this person.  

 

I took a day off this week.  I meant to get up late and rest and be a vegetable.  But instead I got up at 7 am.  Took my dog to a local park.  I walked on the treadmill for 45 mins then got some sunshine and read a book.  Did not nap and just enjoyed the day.  Such a difference compared to the day before.  I still felt fatigue but I did feel more awake.  I was happy and thankful for that day.  I know I have to give my body rest and just wait and hope this fatigue lifts 

 

The other symptom I struggle with is this dizziness.  Feeling of disbalance, unsteadiness and weakness.  If I get up too fast or turn too fast my head is spinning like crazy.  I walk and it does not appear that I walk in straight line.  At work staring at the computer is pretty challenging.  It is pretty constant for me 24/7.  I read a thread on here about dizziness it seems that people do experience it.  

 

B-

 

 

[apace41]

18 minutes ago, Blondiee1915 said:

The other symptom I struggle with is this dizziness.  Feeling of disbalance, unsteadiness and weakness.  If I get up too fast or turn too fast my head is spinning like crazy.  I walk and it does not appear that I walk in straight line.  At work staring at the computer is pretty challenging.  It is pretty constant for me 24/7.  I read a thread on here about dizziness it seems that people do experience it.  

 

I can so relate to this.  It's a very annoying symptom.  I've been hit with it of late -- the past few days have been really bad.  

 

Not sure it helps but you can be thankful that you don't have health anxiety (I'm hoping you don't) since when the dizziness hits me I always have a "flash fear" that I'm having a stroke!  

 

Dizziness is a very common reaction to anxiety and I believe that, regardless of whether you feel anxious or not, the dysfunction of the amygdala that results from withdrawal impacts the vestibular function in some people thereby causing dizziness and balance sensations.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Blondiee1915]

Hi Andy, 

 

I am sorry you are struggling with this symptom as well.  I do have some health anxiety about it as well - I start thinking my iron is low, and my blood sugar is low and maybe my blood pressure dropped.  And of course I start freaking out.  I did read about dizziness and how it could be caused by anxiety or being in constant stress or not inhaling and exhaling correctly and of course SSRI damaging vestibular system.  These are my two prevailing symptoms - fatigue and dizziness.  I guess I should be thankful as it could be worse.  But for me it seems it is worse as the intensity and pretty constant feeling of both symptoms causes much distress.  I guilt myself for not WD correctly and causing all this to myself.  Why did I not research and found this site earlier.  It could have been a much smoother ride.  But what is done is done.  My goal now is to get myself to the baseline normal where I can experience some normality in my life and functionality.  

 

Hope you are doing well Andy.  I appreciate you stopping by 

 

B

[manymoretodays]

Hi Blond......,

 

I just wanted to say yes, it does get better.  So much better.  I tried Provigil......years ago........without any change except possibly making me feel worse overall.  I also tried the investing in medical/mental health care route for such a very long time and for huge $$$ losses.  It wasn't a good investment......for me or my health.

 

I am a Lexapro survivor as well.  The exhaustion, dizzy, weakness, etc. has improved.

 

Do you get vacation time?  Family and friends who can pitch in and help and just love you........as is.  That helped me so very much, still does.  Faith in something, outside of yourself(yet certainly can be inside as well as far as just knowing the easier days are coming).

 

I didn't read your whole thread......so maybe you have tried the Epsom salt baths?  Cheap and easy and very restorative for me.  As well as swims.  Water is healing.  Has been for me.  Knowing how far I have come as well.......very healing to know that I AM recovering so very nicely.  Life is good.  I am good.  So much better than before.

 

Hugs from here as well.  The heat is on here.......I mean outside........I have to keep that in mind as well and as much as I do love season changes......an awareness can help so very much in granting myself just a bit of slack, ceasing the drive for perfection, etc.

 

Love, peace, recovery/healing, and growth.......well neuroregeneration(something like that) at any age and circumstance

 

mmt

To today!! 

 

[manymoretodays]

Oh.....yah......guilt no good at all.  Although many of us do it from time to time....... " I am exactly where I am supposed to be" helps me and "all is well enough".  Breathe.......float.  Smile.